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Week 5 – raising self-esteem

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Raising self-esteem in a way that it is founded on self-love, is a good

way, not only to maintain high levels of self-esteem, but also to maintain good

mental health. Those who are happiest are those who are content with who

they are, as well as with what they have been given in life. This appreciation

is at its greatest when we have a good sense of self-worth because we are then

not seeking those things because we need to fill a void within.

Raising self-esteem then is best done by understanding the origins of our own

self-esteem, and dealing with the results of those things which may have

formed our own levels of self-esteem in the beginning.

We then need to learn how to maintain self-esteem based on the knowledge

that it’s levels will affect every area of our lives. This motivation then allows

us to use this information to make self-esteem maintenance a priority.

So often we find that we want to fill our lives with things, or people,

achievements, possessions, and experiences, in the hope that this will fulfil our

identity – in our eyes, and in the eyes of others.

For some, this is what their

self-esteem is founded on in

the present.

For others, it is very difficult to raise their levels of self-esteem because they

have very low self-esteem to begin with, and therefore they put up with

things, and situations in their lives which further degrade their self-esteem,

and their picture of themselves in their own eyes. This is like a self-fulfilling

prophecy that perpetuates low self-esteem, because they never seem to rise

to a high enough level, in order to climb out of the low self-esteem rut.

Sometimes if we have low self-esteem we may be tempted to give our energy

in exchange for approval from others, thus compromising our self-esteem

further if these individuals take advantage of our low self-esteem in the

process.

To take a step upwards in our self-esteem increase, we need to go back to self-

love and see the barriers to this important aspect of our lives that may be

holding us back.

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This area is vitally important because without self-love, we often do not see

our own value for what it is, and therefore are more likely to allow

circumstances, thoughts, behaviours, and beliefs to cloud our judgement.

Exercise

Self-love monitor – how do I really see myself?

Answering this question as honestly as we can will often highlight issues that

we have with ourselves more than any other question. How do you see, and

feel about yourself in all honesty?

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If your view of yourself is a negative one. What thoughts, beliefs and

behaviours can be changed, in order to change your picture of yourself?

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Changing the patterns in our lives in this way can take a

monumental step towards increasing our self-esteem

and personal development.

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Training ourselves to think differently, and to consequently bring change in our

lives requires that we change our outmoded beliefs that may have held us

hostage to old paradigms which no longer serve our growth, and maturation.

Changing old beliefs is a case of:

1. Identifying what those beliefs were, and the resulting thoughts and

feelings, together with outcomes that manifested in our lives.

2. It is important to re-align ourselves with new beliefs that we want to now

become a part of our belief system, and which will therefore manifest in

new thoughts, feelings, and a different life, and hopefully one that

supports our growth and welfare in the process.

3. We then need to identify those actions that are in line with these beliefs

so that we become used to acting in line with what we want, rather than

sabotaging our lives through living in opposition to what we say we want

to manifest.

Identifying Old Beliefs About Us That No Longer Serve Us

What old beliefs have been hindering your progress in life

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What new beliefs about you, and your life do you now want to become part of

your belief system that will now manifest your new life?

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What actions, thoughts, and feelings do you now have to put into place in order

to validate these new beliefs so that they become naturally a part of the new

life you want to manifest?

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As we change our beliefs about ourselves, our life starts to mirror those beliefs

back to us. The old slowly dies away, and we see the results of a new paradigm

shift that has taken root in our lives, which then manifests as a new life,

therefore bringing us in alignment with who we truly are.

As a consequence of changing certain patterns in our lives which may not have

been serving us, we are then more likely to realise new levels of self-esteem

that we didn’t know were possible. This is possibly because those old patterns

(and energies) may have been undermining our self-esteem without our

realising. Therefore, consciously examining, and changing certain patterns has

possibly allowed more light in, and therefore allowed concrete change to take

place.

Any positive change we make will affect self-esteem levels,

which will then have a domino effect in all areas of our life…

Changing our beliefs about ourselves can feel difficult if we are still entrenched

in old ways of believing, and behaving.

Those factors that helped to entrench those beliefs may still be operating in

our life, such as people, circumstances, and situations that may be difficult to

leave, i.e. if it is an intimate relationship, or family members that are

reinforcing our old ways of seeing ourselves.

Taking time to reassess our lives is time very well spent.

Although it can be difficult when we are actually in a difficult situation to change

our reality based on new beliefs, it can be done…

One exercise that may be helpful is to stand back from our lives and look at the situations

inherent within, as well as our own behaviours, and to assess what is working for us and our

growth, and what is not.

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Doing a life review in this way allows us to look at things from an

objective stand point.

Maintaining distance from any situation always gives us a wider

perspective to operate from, thus allowing us to take a dispassionate

view, in order to make those decisions which will be life, and self-esteem

enhancing, rather than disempowering.

How are you showing up – and why?

Changing how we show up in our own life, and in our relationships,

means that a shift takes place within, manifesting in a shift on the outside, in

our reality. When we actually see this taking place, it can be super exciting!

This is how reality is changed for us, through a change in our belief system, and

our energy through a change as a result in our new behaviour.

This can be very exciting as we realise that we do actually have authority over

our reality, rather than believing that reality has authority over us. Our self-

esteem can be improved exponentially when we realise – quite literally – our

own magnificence, and the power we actually have over our life, and ourselves

to manifest the type of life and existence that we truly want…

Increasing self-esteem is naturally a by-product of us moving upwards in our

evolution, and greater self-knowledge as we acknowledge, maybe for the first

time that we are worthy of this work of development, and that we can affect

powerful change in our life - on an organic, as well as surface level.

Raising the bar of self-esteem through:

• Raising the types of thoughts we have about ourselves so that we are

thinking at a higher level regarding our own self-concept.

• Maintaining a lifestyle that is self-esteem promoting rather than one

that diminishes our own self-esteem through our actions, behaviours,

and beliefs.

• Focussing our consciousness on high self-esteem, and having the ability

to boundary this aspect of our being from negative influences which

may seek to keep us in the lower dimensional thinking sphere.

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Appreciating ourselves on a consistent basis through:

• Consciously maintaining a high vision for ourselves!

• Having high expectations of other’s behaviour towards us, i.e. only

accepting respectful, caring, and loving behaviour from ourselves, and

others.

• Not tolerating disrespect and/or abuse from anyone.

• Appreciating those positive aspects of ourselves daily, and accepting the

negative aspects as an act of self-love, whilst we go through change, and

growth.

• Learning why we have, or may have, developed low self-esteem, and

acting in order to change the effects this has had on our lives, and

welfare. Thus, taking responsibility for our self-esteem levels, and

growth rather than taking a victim stance which will further lower our

self-esteem.

• Having standards, conditions, and expectations that are in line with high

self-esteem. These need to be standards that we maintain through our

actions, and not necessarily expectations that we expect only from

others, without communicating what those standards are either to

ourselves, or to them.

• Maintaining a nurturing attitude towards ourselves on a consistent basis

so that it becomes habitual, and a way of life.

Which aspects of the above do you need to focus on in order to raise your own

self-esteem levels?

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Complete the following goal-setting worksheet, in order to clarify what actions

need to be taken to increase your self-esteem at an optimum level…

Goal Setting

Successful goal-setting is achieved by firstly identifying your main goals, and then breaking them down into smaller manageable goals that lead to the accomplishment of your larger goals. Goal to be achieved

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Smaller goals to be achieved in order to achieve this goal:

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Action/s to be taken

……………………………….................…………………. Timeline………………. ………………………………..................................... Timeline………………. ………………………………..................................... Timeline………………. My reward to myself for achieving my goal ................................................................................................... …………………………………………………………………………………………………

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Understanding that our self-esteem can be

managed through the managing of our own life is

a powerful way to live in self-mastery.

Having the ability to identify those things that may be draining our

self-esteem is a primary way that we can use to direct the growth of

our own feelings of self-worth on an ongoing basis.

Our Purpose

Understanding what our purpose is in this life is an important part of understanding our self, and our means of gaining satisfaction, fulfilment, and feelings of empowerment. This has a strong impact on feelings of self-worth because we are engaged in our very purpose for being here. This is a primary source of contentment in our lives, and is an aspect of our lives that needs to be focused on as a priority. What is my purpose for being here? …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. If you are unable to understand what your purpose is, it is a useful exercise to list your gifts, abilities, passions, and enjoyable activities, as an indicator of your purpose here which is often based around those unique gifts that we have been given.

My gift, abilities, and passions are: ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

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We will often find that when we are engaged in the pursuits that are important to us, and bring us the greatest satisfaction, that we are engaging in our purpose, either in part, or in

full…

Steps I Need To Take To Fulfill My Own Purpose 1………………………………………………………………………………………….2………………………………………………………………………………………….3…………………………………………………………………………………………. 4…………………………………………………………………………………………. Allowing ourselves to have happiness and fulfillment is an important part of raising and maintaining high self-esteem. Sometimes we self-sabotage through disallowing ourselves the means of having high self-esteem, and fulfillment. How I may be disallowing high self-esteem in my own life: ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Ways I may be self-sabotaging in my own life, and therefore restricting my own Self-esteem growth ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

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Raising self-esteem through self-nurturance

taking the Journey back to you

One of the most exciting things that we can do in this life is to come to know ourselves very well. Many people do not embark upon this journey at all, and therefore miss the empowerment, and satisfaction that can come from knowing ones self, and nurturing that being that you have been given – you. We are actually the best source of our own self-esteem because it is only us that can know ourselves sufficiently in order to truly satisfy our own needs. Our primary supplier of our needs however is obviously our Source, which is as a result of our Creator knowing us intimately, and being our primary source of love, and fulfillment…. But we have been given the opportunity here to know and value the unique being that we are in a way that can result in our actualizing past anything that we may have experienced so far – or could even imagine!

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This is our primary purpose for being

here as multi-dimensional beings

Making the journey back to ourselves, is the

main reason for us being here… This relationship with our authentic self is our primary source of our self-esteem, because our satisfaction in life is gained through actualization of the self, as well as interactions, and relationships with others, which is where most people go to for their self-esteem boost… Our journey back to ourselves involves going deep within, in order to reconnect with that authentic self which may, or may not have been, compromised in our life’s journey. Following our heart as we go deep, in order to find that part of us that truly reflects who we are, is an exciting soul reconnection journey to make, and one which is well worth the effort!

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We need to be willing to go within and to self-reflect and find that inner person who we may have side-lined in our efforts to fit in with this world, and its requirements for acceptability… Exercise: Go within now and begin to reconnect with that inner essence which is

your spirit.

Note how this feels and what comes up for you. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Do this regularly, and consciously make that connection with the inner self on a regular basis. This exercise is the heart of our journey back to ourselves which

will truly direct us back to our innate being.

As well as the power inherent Within that being…

It will lead you on the journey back to true reconnection with you, which is possibly the most important journey we make in our lives…

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Study Log Which areas of the work that you completed this week were particularly relevant for you, and your journey towards higher self-esteem? …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Take time to reflect on the work that was completed, and in particular any actions, or changes that may need to be made in order to raise your self-esteem levels.

Note here anything that may be of benefit for you to remember for the future when needing to maintain high self-esteem:

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… © K. Palmer CPD This material is intended for educational purposes only and neither the author or CPD take responsibility for any actions that may be taken as a result of completing this course.