Week 187

The National Police have smashed a locallybased scam which involved a 15 million eurofraud in people being enticed to put adverts inbogus police relatedmagazines. Cops haveswooped on 52 people, 49 of which were basedin Elche, who are alleged to have tricked 150thousand selfemployed workers and smallbusinesses over 14 years by pretending to berepresenting the police.

The arrests were made in eight raids across Elche, Madridand Barcelona at the conclusion of a twoyear 'megafraud'investigation by the National Police. The cops seized 46thousand euros in cash, three cars and a motorcycle, plus ITequipment including seven servers. 32 of the people arrested have had their assets and bank accounts frozen.

Officers uncovered the fraud that had been "planned,

developed and perfected" over 14 years, with the scaminvolving owners of small and mediumsized companies thechance to place adverts in policethemed magazines, both inprint and online, usually at a cost of less than 400 euros.

Victims, including many around the Costa Blanca andMurcia regions, were told that the publications would be distributed in police stations and other official institutions. Butthe magazines were cheap, poorly printed copies of officialmagazines on basic printing presses (pictured) that wereonly ever sent to the victims themselves.

The sophisticated scam included the creation of 30 webpages which were full of information on policing matters aswell as forming 60 “shell”companies that were used to launder money, with the organisation employing three solicitorsto help them in their work. The fraudsters were said to haveused hardsell telemarketing techniques to persuade peopleto part with their cash. They passed themselves off as representing the Guardia Civil or the National Police in order tocoerce their 'customers'. Many of those targeted were elder

ly or experiencing financial difficulties.The National Police searched eight

houses in the Elche area and seizednearly 46 thousand euros in cash, aswell a number of internet servers, oneof which was actually hidden in the roofof one of the addresses of the “shell”companies. Three cars and a motorcycle were also seized by the authorities.

The investigation started two yearsago when the police spotted complaintsabout alleged fraud appearing on various internet sites, as well as allegationsthat were directly made to them fromsmall business owners who wereconned into placing the adverts.

Edition 187 www.thecourier.es Friday, September 19, 2014

By ALEX TRELINSKI

Fake police magazine nets millions of euros

COPPING A CON

Our latest edition is always online at www.thecourier.es

Two people died and twoothers suffered minorinjuries in a two car collisionon the N332 in Santa Polalast Saturday morning. Theaccident happened at5.40am with the injuredbeing ferried to Elche

General Hospital, wherethey were treated for bruising.

2 Friday, September 19, 2014

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DO YOU have a story that might grab the headlines?What’s all the gossip about round your way? A spateof robberies, perhaps – or maybe you’ve spotted acelebrity in the neighbourhood. Whether your newsinvolves fire, police, ambulance, accidents – or hap

pier events like family weddings (particularly Goldenand Diamond ones!), Just phone the Courier officeon 966 921 003 or email [email protected] We’rewaiting for your call…and next week’s Front Pagestory.

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WANTED – MORE HEADLINE NEWS!

Barcelonais the costliestplace in mainland Spainaccording tothe travelw e b s i t e ,Tr ipAdvisor,with averagecosts forhotels, taxis,and entertainment almostdouble that ofwhat youcould get in Murcia City (pictured), whichwas highly rated for value. TripAdvisorlooked at 52 locations to compare the average cost of a visit that included a night in afourstar hotel, cocktails for two people, atwocourse dinner with bottle of house wineand a return taxi ride.

Barcelona topped the charts with an average of €229.11, closely followed by Ibiza(€221.43) and Palma, Mallorca (€217.97).The most budgetfriendly locations wereLugo (€115.73) and Murcia (€116.52). Thecost of a night in a Barcelona hotel (€145) isalmost that of the entire package in the near

by city ofTa r r a g o n a(€143.73). A3km returntaxi ride cost€14.82 in theCatalan capital, some 34per cent morethan in thesecond mostexpensive city,Soria.

Cocktails inMadrid cost

€26.10, the most expensive in Spain and€5.60 more than the Barcelona equivalent.The most expensive average dinner was inIbiza and cost €59.63.

Although the TripAdvisor survey ranksBarcelona as most expensive it does notseem to deter tourists from flocking there inevergreater numbers, with an EsadeBusiness School survey showing that it isthe European tourist shopping capital.Almost 34 per cent of the average tourist'sbudget is spent in shops in Barcelona compared with just 28 per cent in London and 24per cent in Paris

TOP VALUE MURCIA

The French telecom giant Orange has made€3.4billion offer to snap up the Spanish phoneoperator Jazztel. If the purchase goes ahead, itwould create Spain's secondlargest fixedbroadband carrier and thirdlargest mobile network operator. Orange's bid comes afterVodafone agreed to buy Spanish cable firmOno for €7.2 billion earlier this year.

THE FUTURE IS NARANJA

Two striped hyena pups are being cared for and fed bystaff at Murcia’s Terra Natura park, after their mum did notwant to look after them, including feeding them her breastmilk.

It’s the first time the species had been born at TerraNatura, and there are only 50 of them around Europeanparks and zoos. The mother called Raya, gave birth to threepups, but only two survived, with wardens noticing that Rayawas behaving strangely to the babies who weighed only250grams and would fit in the palm of a human hand.

Cira and Noah are being given a special milk formula,along with small pieces of chicken and rabbit as part of theirdiet. The wardens hope to reintroduce them to their motheronce they have grown larger.

HEY MUM

SANTA POLA DEATHS

3Friday, September 19, 2014

Temperature records have been tumbling across the CostaBlanca with the Meteorological Agency saying that the firsthalf of September was the warmest since 1962, with temperatures higher than the average for August. The averagehighs for the whole of the Valencia region recorded a level of24.5 degrees Celcius, with the Alicante Province figuresbeing some 2.4 degrees above average, second only to thereturns for 1962.

PHEW, IT WAS A SCORCHER!

A Spanish family and in a separate incident, two boys,were rescued recently after getting difficulty whilst sailing inthe Mar Menor. Both incidents had a happy ending thanks tothe help of the members of the Sailing Association MarMenor (SAMM) Catamaran group.

SAMM members were heading back to Los Narejos after apicnic in Playa Honda, and on their journey back on theircatamaran, Hamoor, they spotted some people on a smallboat waving at them. Being friendly, as most sailors are, theywaved back. A minute or two later they realised the boat maybe in trouble as those on board were waving a white flag.Without hesitation, they dropped the sails on Hamoor andmotored over.

They found a Spanish man and two boys aged 1012 sitting in a 4 meter dinghy half full of water. The mast and boomwere lying on the dinghy with the sails dragging in the water.They got the boys, who were wearing life jackets, on board,the dinghy in tow and took them to Los Nietos.

With the language barrier and the boys very upset,Hamoor’s crew never found out exactly what had gonewrong. What they were sure of was that there was not verymuch chance of them being picked up by anyone else.There were no other boats in sight, they were a long wayfrom shore, the wind had died to nothing and evening wasapproaching. With no mast and half sunk they were not veryvisible.

A few days later whilst in their tender, other CatamaranGroup members saw one young boy in a canoe next toanother boy struggling in the water and a second canoealmost vertical in the water. He appeared to have capsizedand managed to get his canoe tangled in the jellyfish nets.They could not free the canoe but pulled the boy into theirdinghy and took him and the other canoe safely back toshore.

CATAMARANDRAMAS

The Guardia Civil have arrested five people for sellingdrugs out of a house which was opposite to the entrance ofa Torrevieja school. Three Spanish women and two Pakistanimen were collared on suspicion of committing crimes againstpublic health. The Guardia was tipped off by neighbours andthe parents of local schoolchildren at the start of last weekabout their alleged activities close to the unnamed school.Cocaine and heroin was seized in a raid along with cash, withthe five arrested being put before a Torrevieja judge.

TOUGH LESSON

Four beaches on the Orihuela Costa were redflagged onTuesday after an oily substance appeared on the shore. Thebeaches at Aguamarina, La Glea (pictured), Barranco Rubioand Mil Palmeras were closed off by the Guardia Civil obathers, with local people suggesting that the pollution mayhave been caused by military ships that were in the area.White spots were visible in the water as well as remains onthe beaches, which remain open to nonbathers as analysisof the pollution is carried out.

RED FLAGGED

Guardia Civil officersinvestigating a domesticincident in Nerja had anarrow escape when a former US Marine allegedlyhurled a 50inch televisionat them. Neighboursreported screams comingfrom the property and thatthe 33yearold man –identified as BRL – had allegedly struck his pregnant wife.

When the officers asked the exsoldier to open the door, heappeared on the balcony and threw the television at the officers, causing minor injuries to one. A Torrox judge placed arestraining order on BRL, applying to both his partner andtheir home.

WRONG CHANNEL

The Costa Blanca andMurcia regions are the areas ofSpain where most cockroachalerts were made in 2013according to new figuresreleased by Rentokil. Ratscame second on the list withhigh temperatures across theareas seen as the main cause,rather than any hygiene issues.

COCKROACH HEAVEN

A man wanted in connection for a murder in Sweden, hasbeen arrested at Torrevieja bus station. The 39 year oldHungarian went on the run after being wanted for questioningover a murder and robbery in Malmo. He escaped to the UK,before travelling to Madrid, where he boarded a bus forTorrevieja, where the National Police collared him on aEuropean arrest warrant.

MAGYAR MAN

Summertime parkingrestrictions in Torreviejahave been eased in theCalle Ramón Gallud areafrom the intersection withCalle Orihuela untilChapaprieta Street, from10:00am to 1.00pm and5.00pm to 9.00pm. Carparking had been restricted to only an hour, and now thepeak season is over, drivers in that and other parts of the citywill find it easier to find a space and to park for longer.

EASIER PARKING

The former British Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, hada plaza in Madrid named after her last Monday, in a specialceremony by presided over by the Mayor, Ana Botella andthe Madrid PP President, Esperanza Aguirre. Both womenare strong characters, who don’t get on, but both agreed thatThatcher was a historical character who should not be forgotten, with Aguirre describing her as a political rebel.

IRON LADY SQUARED

Orihuela’s Mayor, Monserrate Guillén, won’t be going backto work until at least the end of October. The council leadersuffered a heart attack in July, but despite a good recoveryand optimism that he could return to his post this month, he’sbeen told to continue his period of rehabilitation for at leastanother four weeks.

ON HOLD

An American mother whose fivemonthold baby wascrushed to death on a baggage carousel at AlicanteElcheairport has taken her case to court. Nathania Terry fromMaryland watched in horror as her daughter Vashti Terry waskilled last September on one of the belts at the airport, andMs Terry is now suing Netherlandsbased Industries, a globalsupplier of luggage handling systems for airports and parceland postal carriers. She is seeking punitive damages forwrongful death, negligence, design defects and failure towarn, according to the American website, Courthouse NewsService.

CAROUSEL CASE


Catalunya's regional president could face 15 years in jail ifhe holds his "illegal” independence referendum in November.That's the view of the national judges' association whichclaims that Artur Mas could be accused of powerdealing,disobedience and even sedition if it is considered that a referendum due to be held on November 9 goes against theSpanish Constitution.

Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy has already said he will notauthorise the vote, and that if Mas goes ahead with hisplebiscite plans, he could be deemed to have committed a'serious disobedience against the national government',which according to the judges' association, may see him putbehind bars for up to 15 years.

Mas would face the maximum sentence if he attempted touse the regional police force, the Mossos d'Esquadra, toblock any attempt to prevent the referendum on voting day.This would be considered a 'siege' and he could be jailed forthe full 15 years. The most lenient punishment the regionalpresident would get away with is being banned for anythingfrom 710 years through to the rest of his life from holdingoffice. It would be up to the central government to presscharges, and Rajoy has threatened to do so.

Spain's constitution, approved by a referendum in 1978,three years after the death of the dictator Francisco Franco,gave the country's regions a degree of autonomy, but not asmuch as some Catalans now want.

MAS IN A MESS

Work has started around the Torrevieja area to make sureflooding is reduced during the anticipated “Gota Fria” season. Clearance work has happened close to key roads likethe route between Torrevieja and Crevillente, as well as theN332 close to the Doña Inés urbanisation (pictured).Meanwhile other councils like Orihuela have held a scheduled meeting to review emergency action if serious floodingshould happen in the area.

RAIN ON THE WAY?

A herd of wild goats caused mayhem last week as theytook to the tracks of a railway station in Terrassa, Catalunya.The 17 sure footed creatures were first spotted in the tunneljust before the station, and then made their way past astonished commuters. A security guard tried to herd them out, notan easy task; which took him 40 minutes. Station staff haveseen the occasional cow wander onto their outdoor tracks,from a nearby farm, but this was the first time a herd of goatshave come into the station.

GOATS GRUFF

A Guardamar cemetary worker has been suspended fromhis job for posing for a 'selfie' with a corpse. The accusedwas pictured standing next to a mummified body of a manwho died 23 years ago and who had been exhumed in orderto bury him together with his wife, who passed away threeweeks ago. On the other side of the body was a man said tobe part of the deceased's extended family, and the photograph was taken by the dead man's niece. It quickly wentviral on social networks.

Guardamar council say they immediately approached thegraveyard worker for an explanation and have temporarilyremoved him from his role although he will continue to carryout other jobs relating to the council. Until that moment, thebehaviour of the employee of the Nuestra Señora delRosario cemetery was described by the council as 'exemplary' and they consider his being photographed with a deadbody to be 'a oneoff error' which he would not repeat.Guardia Civil officers investigating the incident believe thephoto spread round the internet after the deceased's niecesent it on straight away via WhatsApp.

DEAD LOSS

The chairman of Europe’s biggest department store and ahousehold name in Spain died last Sunday, aged 79. IsidoroÁlvarez, was widely credited with transforming El CorteInglés into a major success with the veteran businessmanpassing away after what his company described as “unexpected” heart problems.

Founded by his uncle in Madrid in the 1930s, Álvarezhelped to convert a small tailor shop into a fully furbishedretail store. He became president of El Corte Inglés(Translated as The English Cut in reference to a tailor) whenhis uncle died in 1989. Álvarez spearheaded the takeover ofrival company Galerías Preciados and bought up severalsupermarkets which are now an inclusive part of the stores.

El Corte Inglés currently has 91 department stores acrossSpain, and employ 93 thousand people and made 174 millioneuros in profits last year. Prime Minister Mariano Rajoydescribed Álvarez as a “global reference for the retail sectorand an icon of credibility and trusts for many families andconsumers.”

SHOPPING GURU DIES

A hydroplane pilot has died in an aircrash whilst tackling amassive forest fire in Almansa in Albacete province. The 44yearold from Murcia was refilling his craft with water in thevillage of Alpera, not far from the site of the blaze, when hiscraft went down late on Saturday night. It is not known whythe plane crashed, but the firefighter was killed instantly.

Nearly 200 members of the fire brigade were called out todeal with the blaze, which spread over two federal regions,with smoke being seen from as far away as Yecla in theMurcia region, which led to panic calls to the to the 112 emergency hotline.

CRASH VICTIM

The main road between San Javier and Santiago de laRibera is to get a makeover with renovation work of thePuerta del Mar Plaza (impression pictured) which featuresthe design by local artist José Julián Buigues. Repaintingand repaving will take place in the area which was formallyopened in 1985. Other plans include resurfacing work in theAvenida Sandoval area of Santiago de la Ribera, as well asother improvements around San Javier.

NEW LOOK PUERTA

The Spanish air carrier, Iberia, has come out top in aBBC survey as to which company is the most generouswith hand baggage for their passengers. Iberia allowslarger bags with no weight restrictions, whilst budget company, Ryanair is viewed as amongst the stingiest, alongwith UK companies, Thomas Cook and Thomson.

The BBC’s survey of 17 major European airlines foundthat Iberia, British Airlines, Jet2 and Monarch Airlines allallow the largest bags – with dimensions of 22 x 17 x 9inches (56 x 45 x 25 centimetres) for a fullypacked bag –but Iberia is the only one without a weight restriction.

UK budget airline easyJet will allow a bag up to thatsize, but it will be placed in the luggage hold at no cost ifthere is not enough room for it. Otherwise, its dimensionsare 19 x 15 x 7ins (50 x 40 x 20cms). The airline doesn’thave a weight limit.

Ryanair, its chief rival, found itself near the bottom ofthe survey. The airline that is notorious for checked baggage fees as high as £75 allows bags as large as 21 x 15x 7ins (55 x 40 x 20cms) with a maximum weight of 22lbs(10kg).

Frank Brehany, consumer director ofHolidayTravelWatch, told the BBC that airline employeesare not doing enough checks at the gate and that is putting the safety of passengers and crew in jeopardy.

He said: ‘There have been occasions when consumershave reported an injury as a result of a heavy item fallingdown on arrival.

‘Others have been hurt because the owner cannot manage the weight of the bag. The weight can even cause theoverhead bin to open.’

THUMBS UP TO IBERIA

A raft carrying four adults and four children from northernAfrica turned up on the shores of Torrevieja on Monday, all ofwhom were attempting to enter Spain via the 'back door'. Thewouldbe immigrants, who claimed to be from Libya, Algeriaand Tunisia, were spotted by police after having been adriftfor three days.

Red Cross volunteers gave them food, dry clothing, water,and a medical checkup. They were all suffering from lowbloodsugar levels and some had skin ulcers or infections,which were treated on site. The passengers had been towedashore by a Guardia Civil coastguard vessel after being seenat around 55 miles out to sea.

A total of 85 wouldbe migrants from African countries havesailed into Costa Blanca shores since the start of August.

RAFT ASHORE


Eight people had a costly game of theboard game Ludo, after they were fined 101euros each for playing it at night in Malagaby overzealous police who had receivedcomplaints from neighbours about the"noise made by the dice".

The group of friends aged in their twenties had met in local a plaza at around 11pmand were still playing three hours later. Fourpeople were involved in the game while theothers chatted and sipped nonalcoholicdrinks. It was then that police swooped tobring an end to their board game session.

29year old Conchi Toro told reportersthat officers had informed her that they"couldn't drink anything" and that "they hadreceived complaints from neighbours aboutthe sound of the dice being shaken."

Noting that the group had two bottles ofwater and an empty can of cola, "the policethen started to hand out fines for us to sign.We were stunned because we hadn't evenbeen shouting, just chatting," said Toro.

The friends protested that they had beenfrequenting the area for over 25 years butthe police informed them that there weretoo many people and that they could nothold "a gettogether like this." The writtenfines cite "a concentration of people drinking beverages in an unauthorized area."The group described the fines as "excessive" and said that they would appeal due toinability to pay. "Apart from two of us, we'reall unemployed," said Toro.

Aina, one of those fined, said that theyhad been "quietly sitting enjoying the freshair and not making a fuss" and that they hadbeen fined "for two plastic bottles of waterthat weren't even full." "What's next?" sheadded.

In July, The Courier reported that authorities in the city of Sevilla had taken theunusual decision to ban dominoes and dicegames in outdoor cafe areas, as part of awider plan to crack down on noise in thecity.

LUDO-CROUS DECISION

A controversial law effectively making abortion illegal in most circumstancesin Spain has allegedly beenshelved as the PartidoPopular government fear itwill damage their generalelection chances next year.Justice minister, AlbertoRuizGallardón had originally said that the lawwould be approved afterthe summer, and that thiswas definite and "there wasno going back".

But a lack of consensuswithin the PP means theabortion reform is claimedto be on hold 'indefinitely'.The legislation reformwould have repealed thelaw of 2010 which, for thefirst time, allowed a womanto terminate a pregnancyfor any reason up to 14weeks, and up to 22 weeks

where the foetus would bedeformed and removedthe need for parental consent for women aged 16and 17 but under 18.

Sources close to the PPgovernment say only a significant minority of theparty were in favour of the

restrictions, and that manyof the rest reacted with'absolute horror', particularly over the issue whereby awoman who knew she wascarrying a severely handicapped child would not bepermitted to end the pregnancy.

ABORTION U-TURN?

Spanish parents areamongst the most generousin giving pocket money totheir youngsters, despite thescale of the recession thathas hit the country. A surveyby the banking group, ING,says that only Italian andFrench parents give moremoney to their offspring.

The survey said that 41per cent of Spaniards agedbetween 5 and 15 getbetween five euros and teneuros a per week and 13 percent of over15's get over 50euros per week. 79 per centof European parents givepocket money according tothe ING survey of over12,000 people, whichrevealed that the main motivation for parents to do so

was that they had received itthemselves as children.

The survey concluded thatchildren who received pocket money grew up to be better at saving money. 34.7per cent of parents givepocket money when theirchildren need it for some

thing specific, 6.8 per centpay up in return for help withdomestic chores and 27 percent give a regular, fixedamount. Only 4 per cent ofchildren have parttime jobsto earn money, comparedwith 15 per cent of their parents at the same age.

PARENTS COUGH UP


[email protected] POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

[email protected] POSTBAG: YOUR VIEWS ON OUR NEWS

FIVE years ago, two golf enthusiasts, LosAlcazares residents, determined that theirtown needed an Open tourney to compliment the Caldero celebration.

As the state of local golf courses declined(or disappeared) the venue changed, until2013 when it became the ‘Club de Golf LaPeraleja’ (pictured above).

The management and members are interested to promote the Open and would welcome all amateurs to participate on SaturdayOctober 11.

As the current holder of the Trophy I amrequired to start arrangements for the Open,which traditionally precedes the Caldero,which this year takes place on SundayOctober 12 in Los Alcazares.

Open golf and a splendid beach party withentertainment! Why not?

Entry applications should be made to theClub Reception. Telephone 968607575 forinformation on teetimes, trophies, prizes,fees and buggy availability. Handicap certificates will be required.

BILL ROBB

qI HAVE been concerned for a long timeabout the state of the former beautiful

caravan park at Punta Prima. For the pastcouple of years, the place has been full ofrubbish and huge billboards and an example of Travertine Town Hall ignorance.

How has such a nice place, with lovelytrees and full caravan parking facilities, beenallowed to get into such a terrible condition?

It paints a really bad picture for Spanishand overseas tourists who must now parknear Mercadona in Playa Flamenca or otherplaces. STANLEY JANYK, Orihuela Costa

FOUR years ago I asked the local councilif I could plant flowers around the youngtrees they had planted along Avenida deCastilla.

I put soil, forming a dish around thebases of six trees and planted white andpurple flowers in each circle. I wateredthem every evening, carrying buckets fullof water from my home and was veryhappy to see the flowers flourish.

Sadly, it was not long before vandals

came and snapped the trees or rippedthem out completely.

I continued to care for the flowers I hadplanted and also to clear away the emptybeer and coke cans, bottles, cigarettepackets etc. Many people commented onhow lovely the flowers looked.

Then along came workmen to move thebig blue paper recycling bin, along withthe green rubbish bin, from outside theschool across the road and dump them

right on top of the flower beds. They then dug up the road to lay pipes

but when they finished the work severalweeks later they did not put the binsback. I myself put the green rubbish binback where it came from and then wentto speak with Mr Derek Monk at themunicipal centre in Quesada.

Mr Monk assured me that he wouldsort it out. Weeks passed and nothinghappened so I went to see Mr Monk

again.I took him photos so that therecould be no misunderstanding. Again heassured me that he had it all in hand.

About this time last year the schoolheld an open evening with the mayor,councillors and neighbours invited. Iapproached Mr Monk and in front of oneof the councillors asked him again aboutthe recycling bin, pointing it out to him.“Ah. yes, I have it hand” was his predictable reply.

Weeks rolled into months and cardboard boxes too big to go in the bin weredumped on the ground, to be joined byhousehold rubbish, chairs, beds, cupboards etc. But the bin is still there.

The same thing happens in Calle LosArcos – the bins look full at first glancebut then you realise there are just two orthree empty cardboard boxes whichshould have been flattened and either putin the blue bin or tied up in bundles forrecycling with the money going to thecouncil.

It seems that this council is just spend,spend, spend and waste – they appear tohave no idea how to conserve.Thousands of euros are wasted on electricity which I wrote about back in March.Nothing has changed, there are still 14lamps lighting up the locked sports centre all night, every night.

The council elections are due in May sothis is a call to all residents to get thingsaltered at the polling station.

JB, Quesada (full name and address provided)

LEFT: The flowers I purchased, plantedand cared for while GRIP and the PPwere in office. ABOVE: This is what thePSOE council has created

Shame of the spend and waste council

Friday, September 19, 2014 7

MY friend Jay tends tospeak very loudly,legacy of the fact he isstone deaf.

He also has strong opinions about the scourge ofpolitical correctness, as onemight expect of a veteran exserviceman.

All of which can add up toa ‘light the touchpaper andrun’ situation when he is letloose in a public place.

So you can imagine how Icringed when Jay began tolay into sensitive hay in apacked Guardamar restaurant at lunchtime on Sunday.

Mercifully, there were noAfrican or Asian ears withinhearing distance as he wentthrough the bible of politicalincorrectness as preachedby the late Bernard Manning.

“The people who thoughtup all this PC rubbish shouldbe lined up against a walland shot,'' he barked.

“What's wrong with callingPakistanis 'Pakis'? That'swhat they call themselves.And as for ni**ers, Wops,Chinks and Krauts, it’s no different to calling our ownpeople Jock, Taff or Paddy.

‘’The world has gonemad,'' he went on betweenmouthfuls of banana split. Icalled for the bill, hoping wecould make a quick escapebefore Baabaa GreenSheep had Jay arrested.

Now in full flow, Jay turnedto Muslim extremists. “We'vegot Britishborn nutters goingout to the Middle East, joining terror groups and killingBritish people.

“These people aren'tBritish, they are murderousscum and the only way totreat them is to hunt them alldown and hang the lot ofthem.''

Pointing to his head, Jay(which is not his real name,

by the way) added: “As forthe Arabs, I never met onewho wasn't lacking up here.''

As we got up and made toleave the restaurant, a fellowdiner on the next tablesprang to his feet and, with abroad grin, thrust his righthand into Jay's.

“Well said!'' he said in aYorkshire accent. “I agreewith every word you said.You should be PrimeMinister!''

I have no idea what wasgoing through the minds ofthe silent majority around usas the aroma of Jay’s rantpermeated their roast beef.

But my own discomfortat the whole episodeemphasises how politicalcorrectness has made somany of us afraid to sayboo to a golliwog, nevermind what we really think.

THIS PC PADDY IS SOTAFF ON THE JOCKS

Life’s so sweet in the land of the givingMY family are firmly against giving

money to beggars. They are convincedevery one of them is a conning layaboutand tell me I'm a soft touch for any scam.

So they'll be horrified that I gave everycent I could muster to a tormentedSpanish soul on Monday.

And handing the money over gave memore of a thrill than all the presents I amhopefully going to get at my big ?0thbirthday bash in Manchester next month.

The shabbily dressed girl, in her early20s, had been sitting crosslegged in ashaded part of the Mercator car park

behind a piece of cardboard bearing theusual 'I need money for food' mantra.

Her restrained whimpers to passingcustomers were universally ignored,perhaps because she seemed resignedto nobody helping her.

When I approached her with somesmall change, she was sobbing quietlyand seemingly in considerable pain. Theright side of her face was badly swollen,probably from a tooth abscess.

''It was all a con,'' I can hear the cynicsamongst you saying. ''She had cottonwool in her mouth to make it look like it

was infected.'' If that was the case, theremust have been an awful lot of stuffing inher chops and she must have employeda very good makeup artist to create sucha convincing effect.

I rummaged in my handbag for a couple more euros, only to find that, asusual, there was no cash there.

I had already given the girl all myshrapnel and the only other money I hadwith me was the 50euro banknote I keephidden in the car for any unexpectedemergency. Correction, that I kept hiddenin my car until Monday.

As I write this, I am beginning to feelthat perhaps I was the victim of a cleverscam. If so, more fool me – but I' do it allover again, if only for the amazing pleasure it gave me to see the tearful gratitudeof that suffering girl as she realised justhow much money I had given her.

The bottom line is this. If that younglady tricked me into parting with that 50euro note, I'm not going to starve.

I would prefer to believe that it helpedto make the poor girl's life a little easierand less painful. And please don't try toconvince me otherwise...


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By Andrew AtkinsonWHEN it comes to being a 'Diamond

Geezer', Villamartin based Metal detectoristAlan Thomas is just that in his quest to findlost treasures! "The biggest find to date wasan 18ct gold ring encrusted with a six diamond set it was valued at £3,000," Alan toldme. It's not often I do interviews in water but I caught up with Alan while trawling thesea at Mar Menor, in Lo Pagan, San Pedrodel Pinatar, with his underwater metaldetector.

"The £3,000 gold ring I found while detecting in Ibiza was traced back to its rightfulowner he identified it, via an inscription and I received £500 reward," added Alan.

Metal Detecting in Spain is not allowed unless an import license for the detector hasbeen issued. And areas differ, as to whattimes detecting can take place. The use ofmetal detectors could involve considerationsof the Law and Regulations, governing artistic or archaeological finds, involving National

Heritage and treasure trove. And if anythingis found you have to comply with the complex procedures in Spain. Any finds will notbe allowed to leave Spain until consent

is given. Anything that is found of Nationalartistic Heritage, or over 100 years old, it isunlikely that you would be granted an exportpermit. Also The Royal Decree of November1987, outlining nuclear energy and

radioactivity, states rules and safeguardsagainst radiation. The Order in March 1975set out the homologation rules for radioactive apparatus. And certain metal detectors may not comply with these rules.

The Naval Authorities have also complained in the past following the use of metaldetectors which have been known to interfere with electronic communications.Cornish man Alan found 'booty' in Lo Pagan alas not of Spanish Heritage importance:"Look at that," he said, pointing to a 50 centsSpanish coin, along with a cache of metalbottle tops!

DIAMOND INTHE ROUGH By Andrew Atkinson

HUNDREDS of euros were raisedfor the Elche Children’s Home following the Charity Horse and FlamencoShow spectacular event at Casa laPedrera, Torremendo.

"Monies raised will go towardsnumerous things including sportsequipment, school bags, and runningshoes. The Director will decide,"Annette English told me. Annette, afundraiser volunteer at the ElcheChildrens Home, introduced me tothree boys from the home: Jessie,Gerard and Justin.

"We have never been to anythinglike this before," said Jessie. "We areoverwhelmed by it all," said Gerard.

"There are 18 children in the ElcheChildrens Home and we thank everybody for their support, especially Jenniand Derek Ray, owners of Casa LaPedrera," said Annette.

The final summer show took place atthe Grand Design House overlookingLake Pedrera watched by an audienceof 150 that was enthralled by the JayMarkwick's Company of Dancers;Emma Tytherleigh and Juan Cortezare.Opening the show was the four femaleFlamenco dancers whose showcasewas performed on a stage overlookingthe picturesque setting of LakePedrera. Jenni's daughter's Eden and Linziperformed on their horse Aero, who wasback in the show ring for the first time in ayear, after undergoing a growth operation.

Courageous Emma Tytherleigh and herhorse Romero thrilled the audience withacrobatic displays and daring stunts encapsulated with running through fire! JuanCortezare was dressed in the traditionalSpanish wear, highlighted when performing

with a Garrocha, a pole used with the wildbulls, for bullfighting and herding cattle. Thelong length of the pole saw Juan skilfully display an art form in itself. And pony Roccowas a showstopper in what was his first outing entering the ring whilst 'relieving' himself.

"He's a little nervous!," quipped JennieRay. “…and my thanks to everybody for supporting the Elche Children Home on a superday.”

CASA OF FUN

Bookworms in the Orihuela Costa areaare in for a treat this autumn with thenews that the Reading Point (Library) hasreopened after the summer break. Thelibrary is located inside the MunicipalCentre of Educational Activities in CalleCipres, Lomas de Cabo Roig.

The library houses 10,000 books, indifferent languages (including English),which have all been donated by individuals and are lent out free of charge, withthe service being launched nearly twoyears ago.

The new opening hours are, Monday,Tuesdays and Thursdays between 1pmand 5pm.

A JOLLY GOOD READ


I ARRIVED at the pub theother evening, strode purposefully up to the bar andasked Dave the barman fora glass of my usual.

Only that request wasnever voiced. Instead, thewords which emerged frommy mouth and whichshocked me as much as anyone else in the inn were:'Why are women so flamingsensitive?'

I was shocked because Ihadn't expected to say what Ihad said. Everybody elsewas shocked because I hadindeed said what I had said.

'Blimey, what's got intoyou?' commented Dave thebarman. 'I was all set toserve you a glass of yourusual, only you failed to askfor it. And, anyway, I don'teven know what your usualis. You order a different drinkevery day.'

There was an eerie silencein the pub because, as Ialready stated, my commentabout women had causeddismay and consternationamong my fellow members ofthe pub discussion group.

And the reason they wereuneasy (well, scared to deathactually) was that yours trulyhad made a negative remarkabout females while in thevery presence of the latestmember of our taverners circle a woman!

Andromeda Arkwright hadbreezed into our lives onlyrecently and had taken usover by virtue of the fact thather forename was of Greekorigin and meant 'ruler ofmen.'

But we blokes had welcomed the takeover becauseshe was a very nice lady.Indeed, Dave the barmanhad fallen in love with herbecause Andromeda wasalways ready to splash thecash for a round of drinks.

Every time that Daveopened his till to receiveAndromeda's fiscal offerings,he was also opening hisheart to our newest pubgroup member. Mein hostwould in turn offerAndromeda small declarations of his affection such asthe odd packet of porkscratchings.

The only brief hiccuprevolved aroundAndromeda's bar stool. ForDave the barman had granted her sole use of the bestseat in the house, namely thestool nearest and within easiest sniffing distance of thespirit optics behind the bar.

Unfortunately, the stoolhad hitherto been the domainof our leader and mentor Ol'Red Eyes andhe was not bestpleased that hisposition at thebar had beenusurped by the newarrival.

But common sensehad prevailed afterDave the barman reasoned with him thatthe stool was vacantmost of the time anyway because of Ol'Red Eyes' habit ofdozing off and slidinggracefully (or plunging awkwardly) to thefloor.

A n y w a y ,Andromeda Arkwrightwas the perfect pub

pal apart from one aspect ofher cheerful personality.Anyone who risked makingan unkind statement abouther gender would face bothbarrels of her fiery ire.

And guess which idiot hadjust marched into the hostelry and proclaimed that'women were flaming sensitive.' The

pub was silent as the menfolk sat there petrified thattrouble was about to kick off.

Andromeda rose quietlyfrom her stool, walked overto me, put a friendly armaround my alreadytremblingshoulders and whispered into

my quiveringear: 'I'll give youthe benefit ofthe doubtbecause I likeyou, DaveSilver, eventhough everybody else herethinks you're aboring old breaker of wind. Sowhat's the problem, my pubpal?'

'It's Mrs S,' Igroaned. 'I happened to saysomething toher and shewent madwith me forno reason.'

'P leasego on,'s a i d

Andromeda, tightening hergrip on my shoulders.

'Well, I said, 'Mrs S wasdoing the cooking and cleaning as usual when she commented that she couldn'tremember the last time I'dtaken her out for the evening.I reminded her that it hadbeen the previousSeptember when I hadescorted her to the chippy forour wedding anniversary.And that was when shepicked up the frying pan andthe mop and threw them atme.'

Andromeda Arkwrightsighed and plonked me downon her stool. 'Dave Silver,you need to be taught how totreat a woman nicely. And I'mgoing to explain it to you.Now listen carefully . . .'

Half an hour later I wasready to go home. 'I'm offnow to buy perfume andchocolates for my belovedMrs S,' I announced.

Dave the barman calledafter me: 'Just in case thesmellies and sweeties don'twork.' He chucked over apacket of pork scratchings

STARTING FROM SCRATCH

With those longer autumn nights coming close,this is the perfect time to change your bed! Whynot call in and talk to Sue at Sweet Dreams inPlaya Flamenca who will help and advise you.

You can test the beds in store, and you shouldbe relaxed and take off your shoes, and try out ofall of our beds until you find the right one ! And ifyou are unsure, then try again. Remember mostpeople spend at least a third of their life timesleeping, so don't be in a hurry, take your time, wehave plenty.

The secret of a good night’s rest is when youwake up in the morning rested and relaxed. Don'tdream of a new bed, Dream in it! And we deliverfree of charge!

Open: Monday Friday 10am 6pm;Saturday 10am 2pm Call Sue on 965 321 701

SWEET DREAMS AREMADE FOR THIS

An antismokingTorrevieja group recentlywelcomed teacher andauthor, Dr.RosemaryWestwell to their latestmeeting, where she readexcerpts from her book,“John, Dementia and Me”, anovel based on her experiences with her husband ashe succumbed to dementia.

The group meets at the ElParaiso restaurant inTorrevieja, with Rosemarymanaging to sign up a few ofthe members for thisSunday’s World Alzheimer’sDay solidarity walk in thecity’s Plaza de laConstitución which stars at6.00pm, with entry costingjust five euros per person.

The nosmoking groupmeet at the El ParaisoRestaurant every Thursday,

except for the last Thursdayof the month when they ringthe changes with a coachtrip! For more information,you can contact DorothyGates on [email protected]

If you would likeRosemary to speak to yourgroup, please feel welcometo contact her on: rjwest[email protected]


By Sally BengtssonJay Markwick’s ‘Explosion’ Show was

such a success last June in Torrevieja’sMusic Theatre that he arranged anotherdate to appease all those disappointed fanswho were unable to get a ticket for the firstsell out production. September 6th wasbooked, and the relevant paperwork wasduly taken to Torrevieja Town Hall, checkedand given the thumbs up. This paperworkwas exactly the same as that he had given inpreviously, yet ten daysbefore the show was due totake place, he was told thatthere was a problem with thepaperwork, which could notbe resolved in time for theperformance to go ahead.

Jay was distraught, not justfor the sake of the show, butmainly because of the fans hewould be letting down. His‘Compañia de Flamenco’ tookit upon themselves to spreadthe word that the show hadbeen cancelled, and that thetheatre had promised to giverefunds, after a certain time.However, Jay, being the professional he is,was still worried that some people may nothave heard the news, and decided to go inperson on the night to let anyone know thatit had been cancelled. He was astonished tosee a queue of about 60 people waiting forthe doors to open, and no sign anywhereabout the cancellation. Even more surprisingly, the box office had continued to selltickets! The people in queue the were how

ever surprised and angry that there was noone in the box office to give them a refund,as many had come from as far away asOrihuela, or were on holiday, and would notbe able to come again to get their moneyback.

Incidentally, over three months after thefirst Torrevieja show, when over 600 ticketswere sold for 1520 euros, Jay’s companyhas still to receive payment. They were initially told they would be paid in 30 days, and

then three months. However,all is not doom and gloom; Jayhas a new show planned forSaturday September 27th inPilar de la Horadada, in theSala Duplex theatre. Ticketswill be available on the nightor can be purchased beforehand from the Café D’Gustarin the main square in El Pilar,or by calling 634 361 392. Allthe profit from these shows isgoing to fund the UK tour theyplan next April in southernEngland.

Jay may only be 21 but hehas been performing for 14

years, training with some of the biggestFlamenco dancers and dance companies inSpain, participating in worldwide tours,teaching Flamenco himself and now choreographing, directing, composing and producing his very own stage play. ‘Explosion’ is afull theatre production telling a story of loveand passion. It incorporates Flamenco witha whole range of different dance stylesincluding ballet, hip hop and Latin.

JAY FIGHTS ON If you’ve got the gift of the gab, then why not lookinto joining a local branch of ToastmastersInternational? Toastmasters is a nonprofit organisation that runs clubs worldwide for the purpose ofhelping members improve their communication, public speaking, and leadership skills. Meetings are free,with a tiny fee to pay for meeting places and the necessary paperwork!

The Las Palmeras Club meet on the first and thirdSaturday of each month at the Restaurant Asturias,Punta Prima,Torrevieja from 10.15 am through till12.30pm. Tomorrow (Saturday September 20th), theclub will be staging their annual Humorous SpeechContest!

The club have been recognised by the headquarters at Toastmasters International, in the USA with aribbon of Distinction, and if you want to find outmore, then phone David McLachlan on 966 700 056or look at their website, www.laspalmeras.toastmastersclubs.org

A LAUGHING MATTER

The new Easy Horse Care Rescue shop in Gran Alacanthas been given a boost by the local Santa Pola council, aftera meeting with local officials. Local councillor, LoretoCascales (pictured) has pledged the council’s supporttowards the Rojalesbased centre recognising the importantservice they provide to prevent animal cruelty acrossAlicante Province.

In turn, Centre cofounder, Sue Weeding thanked the GranAlacant community for their tremendous support over thepast few years.

“We’ve also had massive support for the shop, whichalready has a huge following despite being open for only afew weeks,” Sue said. “The locals love it because it is theonly charity shop in Gran Alacant.”

BUSY SHOP

Members of the TorreviejaCosta Lions Club bore theiryellow shirts in pride in a poolside team photo at their CaboCervera Hotel venue at LaMata, Torrevieja. You too canbecome a Lion. If you are aperson who cares for thosemost in need and can offer afew hours of your time everymonth, you too can make adifference.

If you would like to learnmore about the Torreviejaclub, there are a number ofvery simple ways that you cando it. Firstly you could contact Club Membership Director Phil by email [email protected] or phone 617 198 322 and speak directly with Phil. Visit theClub website at www.torreviejacostalions.org and for information on Lions Clubs Internationalvisit www.lionsclubs.org

WATCH THE BIRDIE

DON’T LIGHT UP


Bonnie was taken in byPEPA only days before shewas due to give birth shehad been living on thestreets. She was painfullythin when she came to usand we set about feedingher up. She has had 7 beautiful puppies we need fosteror forever homes for themand will need a home forBonnie, she is a real sweetheart only 2 years old and avery lovely dog. To find outmore about Bonnie or one ofthe pups please ring thePEPA helpline on 650 304746 or Email: p.e.p.a.ani[email protected]

Born in March this year,Emily and her brotherGeorge were rescuedtogether as young puppiesby APAH. Lucky Georgehas found a new home, butEmily who misses her broth

er is hoping it will soon beher turn. To meet her andthe other APAH dogs,please call 630 422 563 or616 210 850.

Jerry and Holly are theyoungest ones we rescuedfrom the dog hoardershouse in Murcia, they arenow around 8 weeks old andready for new homes. Theyare happy, playful little pupsand will be small when fullygrown. Call: 645 469 253.www.petsinspain.com

Sadly black cats are veryunlucky when it comes tobeing offered a home, and alarge percentage of the catsin APAH's Cattery are black!Can you please give a loving home to a wonderfullyfriendly black cat or kitten?To meet APAH's cats,please call 630 422 563 or616 210 850.

Mila is a PodencoManeto. One year old and isgood in the house and isvery affectionate. She wassaved from Gessre perrerawith her puppies. She has apassport and is just waitingto be neutered. If you couldoffer her a home pleasecontact us at Last Hope DogRescue, our email islasthopedogrescue@outlook.com, tel no 634065540.

PRINCESS a GermanShepherd Cross is just overa year old. She was foundwalking the streets butdespite all she has beenthrough, she is a wellbehaved (submissive) girlwith a calm temperamentand is socialised with otherdogs of all sizes, loves toplay and is easy to train.She enjoys being with peo

ple and is very loving, is ingreat health, has beenspaded, had all relevantinjections, chipped with herown passport. This gentlelady deserves a permanent'FOREVER' home. Pleasecall Maureen on 966716049

Suki is an adorable puppy,she was found in a boxdumped next to some binsalong with her two siblings.She is currently being fostered with lots of other dogsand cats. She loves to becuddled. She will be small tomedium when fully grown.Ring 650 304 746 or Email:[email protected]

Curly Sue She is about 1year old very placid andaffectionate. She is a realgirlie girl , good with otherdogs and children, loves sitting on your lap and snug

gling up to you. ObviouslyCurly Sue is a small dog,She is a very friendly, laidback young lady who wouldmake someone a wonderfulcompanion. Please contactK9 or PHONE 600 84 54 20for more info www.k9club.es

This lovely dog was left tofend for himself on a mainroad. Rescued by a kind

gentleman who saved himfrom an accident. He isabout 12 months old, verygood looking and playful. Hewas attacked by anotherdog and almost died, he isback to full health now andis still as a very happy dog

Call 616655789 for moredetails

Daisy is a lovely little JackRussell and is around 1 yearold. She is another one werescued from the dog hoarders house. Daisy is vaccinated and great with otherdogs and cats. Call: 645 469253. www.petsinspain.com

PETS’ CORNER: CAN YOU TAKE IN A HOMELESS DOG OR CAT?

DOGS DON’T WANT AQUIET LIFE

Bonnie

Emily

Jerry and Holly

Mila

Princess

Suki

Curly Sue

Many of today’sdogs are unemployedand redundant fromtheir original dutiesthat they were bredfor. They still want towork. It is hardwired intotheir brain to want to please.Imagine how we feel if weare out of work for weeks, ormonths. We become boredand agitated and this can behow many of the world’sdogs feel today.

Take the GermanShepherd dog for example.They were bred as a herdingand guarding dog. Thesetraits never actually leavethem. Out of my six dog’s,two are German Shepherds,Billy and Lola. If we moveinto a new house, all Billyand Lola are interested in iswhere the front door is. Myother four dogs show nointerest as to where the front

door is. The reason why Billyand Lola do is because theystill and always will have thatguarding, protective instinctin them. They want to makesure that they are protecting the entrance to thehouse at all times.Wherever we live, therethey are, laying together,doing what they werebred to do.

Even if I walk down thestreet with Billy, if someone is walking closelybehind, he will not like it.He will keep lookingaround to see what theirintentions are. Someoneonce asked me how dothey teach their GermanShepherd dog to protect? Isaid that was like going up toa bricklayer and explainingto them how to lay bricks.They are born with thatinstinct to want to protect theones they love as are many

dogs. Even walking in theSpanish campo, if my dogsgive chase to something, mytwo German Shepherdsalways stay with me, leaving

the restto give chase. Some peoplecall German Shepherds ‘velcro dogs’ and that is why they always seem attachedto your leg.

I also have a Border Collie

called Pickle. When we useto walk in London, he wouldtry his best to round upLondon buses! Where hewanted to take them to, whoknows, but try he would.That is part of the makeupof a Border Collie.

Pedro and SanchezRodriguez, my two Spanishrescue dogs are terrier

mixes. They are the flycatchers out of my group ofdogs because of their tenacious nature. And then thereis Ria, my female Spanishrescue dog. Her Mum was aGerman Shepherd. I know

this because she gave birthto Ria and nine other puppies in the rescue centre inOrihuela. Who her fatherwas we do not know, but myguess is that he was a mixedbreed dog, with bits ofeverything included, considering the box of tricks Riahas turned out to be!

So whatever dog you mayhave, always remember,they were bred to do a joband that job varies, fromherding, guarding, hunting,retrieving, pulling and more.All dogs are different when itcomes to their exerciseneeds and stimulation. Sodon’t go and get a GermanShepherd and tie them to atree and expect them to behappy and guard all day.They need exercise, loveand stimulation, as do ALLdogs. Many people go and get

a Husky and are then surprised when the dog getsbored and starts to makemischief, because they aregiven not even nearlyenough exercise and stimulation. Before getting any

dog, make sure you look attheir breed or what breedsthey are mixed with and askyourself if you will be able tosatisfy their needs as alldogs are different.

Just remember how wefeel when we are unemployed and that is how a dogfeels everyday if we don’tgive them what they need. Ifthere was a job centre fordogs, the queue would befull, all day, every day.Because dogs want to beloved, wanted, needed andbe of use to others. Just aswe do.

www.thedogyouneed.comis a registered charity, wherewe rehabilitate the mostseverely abused animals.Our charity registration number is 1157175. If you wouldbe kind enough to donateanything to this specialcause you can do by Paypal,where the account detailsare peter@thedogyouneed.com or to our NatWest charity account, wherethe sort code is 601603and the account number is73754900. Thank you.


A while ago I wrote about my son starting dance classes and how he loved itbut was one of only two boys in theclass so I wasn´t sure how long hewould keep going.

I did say how sad it was that boysseem to get pushed into things like football, things they are supposed to likeregardless of how they really feel, andhow other activities such as art or dancingseem to be ignored and put aside assomething only girls do. I knew my sonwould have fun in the dance classes ashe never keeps still. My little fella does nothave an academic mind; he is creativerather than intelligent and, as such, likespastimes that keep him physically busy.So, it was with sadness that after only afew months he decided that he didn´twant to return, and the only other boy hadby now left and so my son was surrounded by girls. The pink, I think, got a bit overwhelming for him and he made his mindup not to return. I didn´t want to make himunhappy and so the lessons came to anend.

I stayed on the Totally Dance Facebookpage, checking out all the fun things thekids were doing, including the fiestas, inthe hope that maybe one day there might be the chance formy young man to return. However, as the weeks turned intomonths I began to give up hope, until one day I noticed theowner, Susan, asking if any boys would be interested in anew boys only street dance class. I asked the man of the

house if he´d like to go to these special classes, wherethere´d be only boys so the embarrassment or loneliness hemay have felt in the girl´s class would be nonexistent. Hesaid yes in a flash and so I was straight back on Facebook tobook his place in the class.

Upon arrival at the school, he had decided that he didn´t want to go in. I´m not surewhy he felt that way, maybe he wasremembering the girls classes, but eventually, with a bit of gentle coaxing, heentered the dance studio. There were twoother boys there chatting to each otherand my little chap stood by the wall, a bitawkwardly, just watching. I then left him toit hoping that he would have a good time.

Upon my return, he was raving aboutthe fun he´d had and how he had learnt todo a handstand, keen to show me his newskill he could hardly wait to get home. Ithink I may have to invest in a crash mat ifhe keeps it up! He was full of excitementand couldn´t wait for the next lesson. Heregaled me with tales of new friends andnew skills and how great it was. I wasrelieved and overjoyed. By the next weekhe was straight up the stairs and onto themats practising. The classes, althoughstreet dance, will also incorporate gymnastics, by the trained teacher, Rhona,who made all the boys feel at ease withher relaxed style.

I am delighted that my boy will be learning new skills including coordination, timing and teamwork, but even more than

that, I am so happy that he is doing something that he enjoys. If any of you have sons who want to have fun and learn

street dance, along with all the benefits that this fun hobbybrings give Susan or Ian a call at Total Dance, Benijófar on619690469.

MY LAD’S FOOTLOOSE AGAIN!

There’s nothing worse thanhaving to write a columnknowing the outcome of amassive political event isjust hours after the presses have started to roll onthe paper. So ignorewhichever sentences areinappropriate:

A) My congratulations tothe good voters of Scotlandfor using their commonsense and deciding to staypart of the United Kingdom.

B) My commiserations to


WHAT TO DO IF YOU’VEBEEN BURGLED.

Statistics in SpainCrime rates in Spain remain among the lowest in the EU according to the latest Interior

Ministry crime report. However, since the economic crisis began in 2008, there has beena steep increase in domestic burglaries and theft as a result. In 2012 the number of burglaries in homes rose by 25.4%. The message to expat residents is not to panic. Thereare some simple precautions to take, as you would back in the UK, such as fitting securitygrills, installing exterior lights and alarms, being careful about what content is posted onsocial networks, especially anything to do with trips and holidays away from home. It alsohelps to take out a quality home insurance policy that will cover your home and its contents should any unfortunate incident occur.

When you discover you’ve been burgledAs soon as you discover you’ve been burgled, whether it’s a breakin or theft at your

home, first call the police. Don’t touch anything until they arrive. A police report will beneeded to process your claim.

Then secure your home to avoid further damage, board up any broken windows, makea list of damaged or missing belongings, detail the damage to your home resulting fromthe burglary, taking photographs of damaged windows or door.

At this point, you can call the claims department of your home insurance company. Weadvise you to have your policy on hand when you call.

Peace-of-mind with Linea DirectaWe understand that your peaceofmind is important, especially in your home. Our

claims department will take a full statement of the circumstances of the incident. We willcheck the insurance coverage with you explaining all the procedures. If emergency repairsare required from locksmiths to glaziers, we will help you swiftly handle your claim and getthings back to normal as soon as possible. Fortunately, incidents of theft in Spain are relatively small compared to other EU countries, however should you be burgled, your homeowner’s insurance policy will cover the loss or destruction of personal property if it’s stolenfrom your home.

Hold-up outside the homeIn many cases, your home insurance policy may cover you for any incidents that occur

outside your home. Should you be the victim of a holdup outside your premises your personal belongings are covered. We will ensure replacement documents are quickly andefficiently dealt with, and if required, arrange the locks on your home to be changed.

We hope the information provided in this article is of interest.If you would like to contact Linea Directa please call 902 123 161

More information on Linea Directa online at www.lineadirecta.com

the silly voters of Scotlandfor taking leave of theirsenses and not thinkingthrough properly the consequences of leaving theUnited Kingdom.

C) The narrowness of theresult kept me up all nightbiting my fingernails.

D) The result was a foregone conclusion for the NOcamp, who just got into astupid lather over a coupleof opinion polls that put theYES camp ahead. By the

way, who says that politicians don’t study opinionpolls?

E) Home rule for Wales orCornwall anybody?

qIf just a few years agoyou’d have heard Sinn

Fein’s Martin McGuinnesswaxing lyrical about Dr. IanPaisley, then the conclusioncould only have been thatyou were living in some kindof parallel universe, or thatyou had been on some kindof severe medication. But

when Paisley died lastweek, McGuinness said thathe had lost a friend. Thatwas very much the measureof the way things have goneforward in Northern Irelandin recent times, and yesthere are still problems tosolve, but some forty yearsago, all such kind wordswould have seemed unbelievable. As a neutral viewer,I detested Paisley’s almosthysterical public utteringsback at the height of “TheTroubles” and I thought thathe was a few bob short ofbeing the full deal.

Over 20 years ago, I wassent packing on a BBC management course and I met ajournalist from Belfast who Istruck up a friendship with,and we had countless discussions over the problemsof Ulster. I asked him whathe thought of Paisley, andhe stunned me by sayingthat he was a really nice guyin private and nothing likethe public image he had cul

tivated. In that interveningperiod, Paisley proved to beutterly correct in his conviction and that of hisDemocratic Unionist partythat there could be no powersharing with Sinn Fein, untilthe IRA renounced all violence. And so it came topass that the DU and SinnFein came to run NorthernIreland politics and it hasworked. Countless politicians from Westminster andBelfast have lined up topraise Paisley as a decent

man with a great sense ofhumour, and you have tosay that the verdict of historywill look kindly on him, withhis former Catholic constituents in North Antrimpraising the good work hedid on their behalf atWestminster. It is a classiccase of the Protestant firebrand who turned peacemaker, and perhaps it wasonly somebody of that ilkwho could have delivered ameaningful period ofchange.

PICK AND MIX

Whites possibly maintaintheir property with this extension next door? There isanother dimension to thisplanning row, because theneighbour is an immigrant. Isit yet another example ofcouncils ever more reluctantto take action fearing the racecard or whatever?

qBy the time you readthis, Scotland will have

voted either to stay as part ofthe UK, or quit.

I´m writing this days beforethen, so I´m having to stickmy neck out and I predict aslender victory for the nocamp. What this debate andvote about Scottish independence demonstrates ishow divisive nationalism is.Thankfully the process haspassed off peacefully canyou imagine what wouldhave happened in someother parts of the world.Today and next weekScotland will have to beginthe healing process between

Friday, September 19, 201416

months after constructionbegan. The affected residents have been backed by300 fellow residents, whosigned a petition against thedevelopment and offeredhelp with the legal costs offighting the council's decision. They said they complained to the city council butwere told they would have totake private legal actionagainst their neighbour.

Mr White, a retired motorengineer, 70, said: "Theowner has done what heliked. Our complaints werenot treated seriously." Headded: "We have spoken to abarrister and he told us thereis a case for a judicial reviewas the council has failed in itsduty of care towards us. Andour neighbours have given usa lot of support in this." This isa disgraceful case. Councilsare there to protect peoplefrom unneighbourly developments and this is a classicexample of it. How can the

Those of you who are myregular readers know howmuch contempt I have forUK councils when they puttheir own bureaucracybefore service to the public. And how is this for purehypocrisy?

Double yellow lines arepainted on roads supposedlybecause it is dangerous forcars to park there. So if it isunacceptable for the likes ofyou and me, why is it acceptable for a traffic warden topark his own private carthere and then go aroundnearby streets and book others for doing exactly what heis doing himself? It is totallyunacceptable. But jumped upcouncils, not fit for purpose,think it is acceptable to allowexemptions to their ownemployees so they can goabout causing problems forothers. Read this for purebloodymindedness. ASolihull Council spokesperson said: "Civil EnforcementOfficers (that´s a jumped upname for traffic wardens) areexempt from most parkingrestrictions while carrying outtheir duties. Parking on double yellow lines is included inthis exemption. While officerswill always seek alternativeparking this is not alwayspracticably possible."

Ha, ha. Can you believe it?Motorists saw this driver parkon double yellow lines andwent to warn him to movebecause wardens are ferocious only to see that it wasone of the cursed! Councilshave become too powerful,have far too many powersand need to be clipped. Ifthey were, council tax wouldbe drastically reduced. Justcompare what people inBritain pay for vastly out ofcontrol bureaucracy compared with Spain.

qStill on the subject ofcouncils, how´s this for

planning gone mad? It´s hap

pening in Birmingham, wherea house owner is in theprocess of building an extension to his home, the end ofwhich is right underneath theoverhanging roof of thehouse next door. The extension has virtually convertedthe house next door from adetached one, worth£250,000, into a semi, worthfar less. The extension isbeing built on a fourfoot gapbetween the two homes,converting the gap to nomore than eight inches. Allprofessionals involved agreethe build is not according toplan, but the planning department is not demanding analteration. The affected couple, the Whites, originallyobjected to their neighbour'sextension and asked forenough room to be able topaint their side wall andmaintain their guttering. MPfor the area Steve McCabesaid planning permission forthe work was not granteduntil June, 2013 three

the two sides in the argumentwhich have been poles apart.

I think the real turning pointin the debate was whensupermarket bosses, banksand other companies warnedof a possible rise in prices ifScotland broke away. TheScots are canny people andwould think twice about voting for something whichmight hit their pockets. I alsothink that wonderful dose ofpure patriotism, the LastNight of the Proms, broughtsome Scots to their senses,realising they are part ofGreat Britain, not justScotland. Independencewould mean company distribution costs would be higherand over time these wouldbe passed onto shoppers. Inaddition a leftwing SocialistScotland would be bound tospend more on welfare, paidfor by higher taxes, andprobably increased taxes onbusiness. That too wouldraise prices. If Scotland hasvoted yes, it would make itsapplication for membershipof the EU very interesting.Would France and Spainwelcome Scotland as amember, knowing that theBasques and Catalans arewatching the outcome andbristling at the opportunity tobreak away and becomeindependent? One goodthing resulting from a yesvote would be no LabourScottish MPs atWestminster, and far lesschance of a future Labourgovernment in the remainderof the UK. And it will be veryinteresting to watch a leftleaning Scotland and a rightleaning England and seehow the economies andstandard of living differ overthe years.

qIt´s good to get something for nothing occa

sionally, and when you gointo a supermarket and getsome vouchers it goes somesmall way to making you feelgood. We felt that when wegot some vouchers for FloraProactive cholesterol busting products until we selected some from the shelvesand went to the checkout.We then learned that eachcoupon had to be used onseparate visits. Have youever heard anything morestupid? The checkout girlsaid: "We´ve had problemswith these before. What youcan do is to go to the selfcheckout and put themthrough as one transactionafter another and pay foreach separately. As VictorMeldrew would have said: "Idon´t believe it!" Can youimagine silly, overpaid squirtsin these companies decidingto do a promotion, offeringvouchers and then dreamingup all kinds of exclusions tomake life more difficult forcustomers? I´m sure youcan. We have points cards atvarious restaurant chains inthe UK, but it´s a realheadache using the benefitswhen we´re only in Britain for14 weeks and by the time wereturn. the money on thecards has been snatchedaway. It´s the same with theCarrefour membership card,which invariably issues avoucher just as we return tothe UK and which expiresbefore we get back. Talkabout getting stuff given withone hand and taken away bythe other!

qThe arson attack on theManchester dogs' home

in which around 50 dogsdied, rightly upset many people and prompted hundredsof folk to donate piles of blankets, food and around 1.5million pounds. All very well,but I wonder if that generosity would have been the sameif it had not been a dogs'home but a children´s homepartially destroyed andyoungsters killed? I so oftenfeel that in Britain there aremisplaced priorities.

qFellas, if you want to beleft something in your

partners' will, there is onething to remember to putthe toilet seat down! Comicgenius Joan Rivers amasseda $150 million fortune whichwill all go to her daughter andgrandson and her two dogs,who she said, were betterthan a husband 'becausethey didn't leave the toiletseat up'.

Question. Do you feel yourpartner values her pet dog orcat more than you?

COUNCILS NEEDCULLING


Learn the lingo - with a little help from JEANETTE ERATH

SAY IT IN SPANISHSpanish 140

¡Hola! I hope you´re enjoying September, remember youhave time to learn Spanish no matter what your situation, youcan always find five minutes here or ten minutes there, it´snot easy, that´s the first thing to remember but it´s also farfrom impossible. If I can do it, I remind my students, anyonecan. I´m no expert in foreign languages and failed CSEGerman miserably, I wasn´t even good enough to do OLevel! I now see the reason for my failure wasdisinterest, I wasn´t bothered about whether Icould or couldn´t speak a foreign language andI didn´t really study, it was all a bit haphazard,so when I thought about learning Spanish Iwas sure it would be another disaster, but itwasn´t. So why did I learn Spanish to this levelwhen I had been such a disaster in German? Itall comes down to the fact that this time I wanted it, I wanted to be able to converse in thislanguage, therefore I put everything I had intolearning, every spare minute I would look at abook or chat to people online. I didn´t havemany Spanish friends, only those who cameinto the bar where I was working, therefore myspoken Spanish took a lot longer to improve.There was also the question of confidence,which I was sorely lacking. I am also a bit of aperfectionist. I wanted everything to be grammatically correct with the right vocabulary untilI realised that I could get away with the oddmistake here or there. I also realised that I didn´t have toknow why I was saying something in the way it was said, Ijust learnt to accept that sometimes that´s how Spanish isspoken and to ask why is to waste time worrying. I wasalways looking for answers until I learnt the answers are,very often, irrelevant. We say some things in Spanish justbecause that´s how it´s said. A good example is contigo orconmigo. Why do we say those words? I say does it matter

ellos/ellas/ustedes hacen. As you can see, the verb is regular apart from the first person singular yo conjugation.

Therefore when in English we would use either make or dowe need this verb in Spanish, e.g. I make the bed – hago lacama, she does her homework – ella hace sus deberes. It´salso used in the present simple when in English we have touse the present continuous, i.e: What are you doing? ¿quéhaces? This is one of the differences in Spanish and English,the Spanish are slightly more flexible in tenses than Englishwhich is very specific.

The reason that this week we are doinghacer is because it is also used in a differentway to English in certain phrases. Firstlywhen we talk about the weather, in Englishwe would say ít is hot´, ít is cold´, ít isgood/bad weather´, ít is windy´, ít is sunny´.In Spanish we would use the verb hacer inplace of the verb ´to be´. So the Spanish say´hace calor´, ´hace frío´, ´hace buen/maltiempo´, ´hace viento´, ´hace sol.

Here are some more uses of the verbhacer in expressions:

Se hace tarde – it´s getting late, hacercaso – to obey, hacer trampa – to cheat (ina game), hacer una pregunta – to ask aquestion, hacer un viaje – to take a trip,hacer una visita – to pay a visit. In Englishthe translation is different since we are usinga specific verb in English whereas inSpanish we use the verb hacer with a noun

as a phrase. Examples: se hace tarde para ir a la tienda – it´s getting

late to go to the shop; El niño no hace caso a su mamá –the child doesn´t obey his mother, nosotros hacemos unviaje muy largo – we take a long trip.

Next week we will learn more uses of the verb hacer, sofor now practise what you have learnt so you are ready formore next week.

why? Is there even a reason why? Stop looking for excusesfor not speaking Spanish, put the time in and just accept thelanguage how it is and you will suddenly find yourself speaking more confidently and fluently. Don´t get hung up on why,concentrate more on your pronunciation, verb endings andprepositions and with those things you´ll be a confidentSpanish speaker and writer.

This week we are going to revise the verb hacer, I hopeyou remember the translation of this verb, take a minute tothink about the two English verbs which translate as hacer in

Spanish.They are: to make and to do. It may seem a bit strange to

think the Spanish get away with one verb when they seem sodifferent to us in English but in this respect it makes it easier,we only have to think of one verb whereas the Spanish findit tricky knowing which one to use in English.

This is the conjugation of hacer: yo hago, tú haces,él/ella/usted hace, nosotros hacemos, vosotros hacéis,

HACE CALOR ESTE MES

Do you have a problemarea on your face that youwould like to change?Double chin, droopy eyes,jowls, pouches, crows feetor marionette lines? Aging isas sneaky as sun damageand it seems that in a twinkling of an eye, your facecan look so different thatyou might wonder just whois that person staring backat you in the mirror?

Could facial exercise bethe answer to the age oldquestion –“Can I maintain ayouthful appearance?” MustI spend my children’s inheritance to stave off Mother

Nature’s footprints acrossmy face?

You can certainly turnback the clock with facialexercise that employs resistance and isometric contractions of the muscles usingthe thumbs and fingers. Thisdoesn’t mean that you willlook sixteen or even twentyagain but shaving off ten orfifteen years from yourappearance with exerciserivals the results of mostplastic surgery procedures.

Plastic surgery techniques do not stop the agingprocess; muscles in the facecontinue to make their

downward slide draggingthe skin unnaturally, creatingthe need for more and moresurgical procedures. Withexercise, the musclesbecome stronger, the skinlooks revitalized and lifted.Most importantly, facialexercises can be performedinexpensively at home.

The muscles of the faceelongate just like the muscles in your arms, thighs andbuttocks; in fact, the muscles in the face will haveelongated about onehalfinch by the time most peoplehave reached the age of 55.The elongation is the result

of atrophy of the musclesand gravity. Even though wetalk, sing or laugh, the muscles continue to soften andbecome lax; it’s only whenthe facial muscles arespecifically exercised dothey begin to plump up andsupport your skin better.

The elongation of facialmuscles affects every areaof your face. For instance,the “apples” in your uppercheeks may not be positioned prominently, in fact,when a smile is made,rather than seeing fullnesshigh on the cheeks, themuscles may appear flatand midway between thenose and mouth.

If you add onehalf inch tothe length of your forehead,your eye area suffersbecause the downwardmotion compresses into thebrows. What happens if youadd onehalf inch or more tothe area under the chin?The dreaded wattle is developing. Onehalf inch addedto the jaw line means jowls

are forming.Beginning a facial exer

cise program to sculpt andcontour the face may seemdaunting at first because themovements and positioningfeel somewhat awkward.Remember when you firstlearned to ride a bicycle? Itwas so scary! But after a fewdays of lumps and bumps,you were pedaling like youwere a pro. It’s the samewith facial exercise, onceyou become familiar with themovements, you will marvelthat these simple steps caneasily produce a youngerlooking face.

You will want to take

beginning photos before youstart a facial exercise regimen so that you can trackyour progress and you willwant to update your photosat the end of every thirdweek. In about three weeksfriends and colleagues willbegin noticing that something is definitely differentabout you. They may thinkyou have changed your hairin some way or that you aresleeping better but you willknow what they’re seeing isyour pretty face returning.

In hardly any time at all,you will notice how smoothand refreshed your skinlooks; your face glows withradiance from increasedoxygenation to the musclesand those sagging, droopymuscles are now portrayinga more youthful looking you.Without surgery, drugs oranything harmful you canturn back the clock and lookat least 1015 yearsyounger.


EXERCISE YOUR FACE TO LOOKHEALTHIER AND YOUNGER

If you´ve ever binged onalcohol, then you know sowell the unpleasant aftermath known as a hangover.Hangover symptoms varyfrom person to person, butmay include headache, nausea, sensitivity to light andnoise, dizziness, lethargy,diarrhoea and thirst.Hangovers are usually experienced in the morning aftera night of heavy drinking, butcan also occur at any time.The symptoms of a hangover are caused by a buildup of toxins produced in theliver while alcohol is beingprocessed, in addition to irritation of the stomach anddehydration of the brain.

Too much alcohol can bedamaging to health anddrinkers are recommendedto limit their daily intake to 34 units for men and 2.3 unitsfor women. Women havelower levels of an enzyme inthe stomach that deactivatesalcohol, and do not handlealcohol as well as men. Aunit of alcohol is 10ml or 8 gof alcohol. Half a pint of beerof about 3.5% alcoholstrength contains one unit.But many lagers now contain 5% and some others up

to 9% alcohol. A small (100ml) glass of wine of 10%alcohol contains one unit.Depending on its alcoholcontent, a bottle of wine typically contains between 811units of alcohol.

Before you go out to drink,consider taking 1g ofVitamin C or artichokeextracts to stimulate liverfunction. People with lowlevels of Vitamin C have amuch worse hangover.Brandy and whisky containcongeners to add flavourand colour and these chemicals can cause more stomach irritation and hangovers.

Drinking alcohol on a fullstomach is helpful against ahangover, as well as drinking at least half a litre ofwater before going to bed. Ifyou still wake up with ahangover, ensure that youslowly drink up to 2 litres ofwater all day. Milk thistleextract protects the liveragainst the effects of alcoholand speeds up recoveryfrom a hangover. However,if you drink, do so with caution.

FOR A FULL BODY DIAGNOSTIC SCAN CALL DRMACHI MANNU:965071745


HOW TO DEAL WITHA HANGOVER

DR MACHI MANNU’S ADVICE CLINICEmail your questions and comments to [email protected]


HOW TO UNLOCK YOUR BODY´S HIDDEN ENERGYTO LOOK AND FEEL 10 YEARS YOUNGER

Imagine for a moment that you could flip a switch and suddenly have the kind of energy you had 5, 10 or even 20years ago.

Imagine jumping out of bed every morning, full of energyand ready to go. Imagine having enough stamina to run lapswith your kids or grand kids. By flipping this switch, youcould reverse the ageing process... even if you´re already inyour 50s, 60s, 70s or even 80s.

Believe it or not it is possible for you to reverse the damage done to your skin and body and regain youthful glow. Injust a moment, you´ll learn all the details about how you canflip your body´s hidden energy switch.

But first you´ll have to understand how your body reallyproduces energy.

YOU DON´T LOSE ENERGY BECAUSEYOU AGE. YOU AGE BECAUSE YOU

LOSE ENERGYYou see your body is a community of about 10 trillion cells,

and each cell is like a mini you. So in essence your cellsdecide what happens to you. If your cells are lacking in energy, you will feel the same way.

To generate energy, your cells employ tiny floating generators called Mitochondria. Hardworking organs such as theheart, brain, liver, kidneys and eyes contain a lot of mitochondria.

Interestingly, Mitochondria are the only part of your cellsthat have their own separate DNA the blueprint of life. Thismeans that signals from the mitochondria can influence theway your cells develop, grow and die.

The ability of your cells to hear these signals from themitochondria determines how well your body grows, repairsitself and fights off infections and cancer. When

Mitochondria becomes damaged, they send incorrect messages, that create chaos in the body.

Even worse, damaged mitochondria will selfreproduceother damaged mitochondria, eventually replacing thehealthy mitochondria with unhealthy and dysfunctional mitochondria. This is the cause of many chronic diseases andageing.

Mitochondria are very delicate and are easily damagedfrom inside the body by toxic chemicals known as free radicals which are the byproducts when mitochondria generates energy. From the outside, mitochondria are also easilydamaged by toxic free radicals from environmental pollutants, UV radiation, toxic chemicals, and poor nutrition.

To neutralize the effect of these toxic free radicals, Yourmitochondria produces a powerful antioxidant called Coenzyme Q10 or CoQ10. Now if you´re like most healthy people, until you hit your 30s, your body is able to make enoughCoQ10 to keep you going.

But after that we begin to slide downhill, some more sothan others. We age. Our organs start to fail, our skin sags,and we are no longer able to move about as easily as weused to.

GET AN INTERNAL MAKEOVERSince CoQ10 was discovered in 1957, millions of people

have taken it as a supplement to maintain an active andhealthy lifestyle. And they have.

However, CoQ10 supplements are poorly absorbed intothe body, and only a tiny fraction of CoQ10 from these supplements eventually reaches the cell, let alone the mitochondria.

And things have remained the same since CoQ10 wasdiscovered, UNTIL NOW.

MITOQ - A TRIUMPH OF SCIENTIFICDISCOVERY

MitoQ is a brand new supercharged form of CoQ10 ableto deliver CoQ10 directly into the mitochondria – the powerhouse of your cells – where it is needed the most.

This unique advantage makes MitoQ 847 times morepowerful than any other form of CoQ10 available in the market today.

Even more impressive is that MitoQ is among the fewdrugs in the world that can target the Mitochondria the seatof energy production in the body.

Backed by over a decade of scientific research, MitoQ hasbeen found effective for treating and managing many diseases of the heart, brain, liver, and kidneys, as well asgenetic diseases.

MitoQ is available as a capsule and a body serum.

YOUTHFUL SKIN, HEALTH ANDENERGY

MitoQ serum fights the damage caused by free radicals,when the skin is exposed to UV rays from the sun, poor nutrition, stress, chemicals and genetic mutations.

When CoQ10 is delivered directly into your skin cells, theybecome energised and are able to produce more collagen andelastin like they did when you were in your 20s. The Lack ofcollagen and elastin is the main reason why our skin developsfine lines, wrinkles and uneven pigmentation.

MitoQ is exactly what your body needs to look and feel revitalized and full of energy once again.

For more information visit www.mitoq.com or www.medb.es.To order Today and enjoy FREE delivery, Call 965071745

1 bottle (60 capsules) – 44.95 Euros. I bottle serum (50mls)– 89 Euros

Edition 14

It is all too easy to get carried away with the thoughts ofendless sunny days and the colourful culture that comeswith living in Spain. But when investing in something as valuable as a future home you need to go in with a clear head.

If you are seriously considering investing in a Spanishproperty you may already have heard of the “Association ofInternational Property professionals” (AIPP), a UK basedassociation which works to protect the interests of buyers ofoverseas property. They have a wealth of knowledge of theprotocol that is involved in overseas investment, and arealso familiar with some of the most common blunders thatbuyers contin ue to make. AIPP argue that there are aplethora of magazines and websites which offer advice onwhat to do when buying property abroad, but there are veryfew which advise you of what not to do. Therefore, in thisweek’s Property Plus we have included a list of the top tenthings to avoid when buying your next home.

1) Entrusting in a Solicitor who works for, or closely withthe developer or agent Great big NO NO! It is vital to use aSolicitor when purchasing property as they know the in’s andout’s of the Spanish system, but make sure that they areentirely independent, so that there would never be a conflictof interests should you have an legal problems with thedeveloper further down the line.

2) Confusing a Solicitor with a Notary This is a common mistake and easy to confuse, as Notaries do notform part of the conveyancing process in the UK.

However, in most popular overseas destinations includingSpain, it is the Notary who must by law rubberstamp allproperty trans actions. If not they are not legally binding andwill not stand up in court.

3) Signing a contract without seeking independent legaladvice It can be tempting to side step this process, especially if you are in the hands of a very good salesman!However, it is vital to appoint a Solicitor no matter how cluedup the agent might appear. Remember that they want you tobuy, and may put pressure on you to sign something whichmay not be quite as it seems if you get a professional in toread the small print! It is very easy to find an English speaking Solicitor in Spain, who will usually be available byemail/fax to check a contract for a small fee.

4) Counting on a verbal agreement Even if you are buying or renting off someone who you know, you must alwaysensure that every last detail that you have agreed is put inwriting, from the payment of utility bills to the fixtures and fittings. Ensure that your contract is watertight and that everypage is signed so that no unauthorized changes can bemade later on.

5) Overlooking additional buying costs In some countries,including Spain, the addition of legal fees and property taxescan increase your purchase price by as much as 15%, whichcan come as real shock if you haven’t budgeted for it. Youragent should be able to advise of the entire cost to you, andif you are not convinced then ask a Financial Advisor orSolicitor to give you a break down.

6) Dismissing the consequences of fluctuating exchangerates If you are making your investment in sterling, remember that your buying power will vary according to thestrength of the pound against the euro at the time of signingat the Notary. Naturally if the value of the pound sees a dipthe amount of capital which you propose to put down againstthe property will have to increase.

7) Overstretching your finances It is very easy to convince yourself that you can afford something which you really want, even though the reality is that you are going to struggle in the long term. Plus, if planning to let the property, it isalso very risky to rely entirely on rental income to cover yourmonthly mortgage repay ments, as you cannot guaranteethat you will always have a tenant, or indeed, that they willpay!

8) Ignoring your taxation obligations You should getadvice regarding your tax obligations prior to committing toa purchase, as this will help you to budget for the future.Most importantly, do not assume that the system in Spain isthe same as in the UK, as it has its own set of regulations,particularly when it comes to property and inheritanceissues.

9) Underdeclaring the purchase price on the Escriturathis was common practice several years ago, and somecompanies will still encourage you to do it as the cheapestoption, but don’t be tempted. It is considered as fraud underSpanish law and could leave you behind bars rather than inyour dream home.

10) Letting your heart rule your head the perfect point tofinish on. The vast majority of property purchases in Spainrun smoothly, but the dream could soon turn into a nightmare if you dive in at the deep end without doing your homework.

So to recap.... entrust a respectable Estate Agent,appoint an independent Solicitor, ensure that you have afully legal foolproof contract and glean as much informationas you can about your property, rights and obligations beforeyou buy.

TOP 10 BUYING BLUNDERS


SPANISH NEWS

Psychiatric experts studying a Spanish mother whoallegedly killed two of herbabies and hid their bodiesin her kitchen freezer havetold a Sevilla judge that sheis not mentally ill.

Sara López,is currentlyfacing a 40year prison sentence if found guilty of murdering two of her new bornbabies. It was her exhusband Francisco Huertaswho discovered one of thebodies in 2010 when cleaning the house on a dayLópez was out working.When he cleared out thefreezer to begin defrostingit, he found a rubbish bagstuffed towards the back.According to the ABC newspaper, he nearly faintedwhen he saw what wasinside, but it wasn’t untilseveral days later that hefound out the baby was his.

López, who was arrestedsoon after Francisco’sshocking discovery, hadkept her pregnancies to herself. She told the judge herhusband had threatened toleave her if she fell pregnantagain, with the couplealready having two otherchildren. After giving birth inthe bath tub, she claims thebaby wasn’t breathing anddecided to freeze it.

“I didn’t want to get rid ofit or forget it. It didn’t seem

right to just stick in the bin,”she told the court at her initial hearing.

Three weeks later,Francisco relived the samenightmare when he wascontinuing to clear up thevery same chest freezer.The Guardia Civil hadsearched the premises buthad inexplicably not lookedagain in the same place thefirst corpse was found.

“How is it possible thatanother baby has beenfound in the freezer?” themagistrate asked López inthe next hearing.

The 34yearold woman,

who was pregnant yet againwhile in prison, said she hadno idea how the secondbaby had got there. A Sevillaforensics team determinedboth babies had died ofasphyxia but too much timehad passed to be able tosay if it was their motherwho had murdered them.Psychiatrists now say thereis no indication that Lópezsuffers or suffered any mental illness at the time of thebabies’ deaths, stating thatit was impossible to “forgeteverything” about the second pregnancy as it lastsnine months.

MUM “NOT CRAZY”A gang of conartists who

amassed millions throughthe infamous 'Nigerian letterscam' between 2005 and2010 have been sentencedto 12 years and ninemonths each in jail. Amongthe accused is an employeeof a branch of DeutscheBank in Spain, although thecompany itself was not inany way involved. The bankemployee is said to havecollected money from victims who fell for the scamand paid 'administrationcosts' to be able to claimtheir fictitious inheritancesor lottery wins.

A total of 14 fraudsters,most of whom are Nigerian nationals, werecaught in Spain and tried at the NationalCourt. Over the course of five years, thescammers – who are spread around theworld – sent emails to thousands of addresses claiming the recipient had either inheriteda massive sum of money or won the lottery,or that the sender needed an account to'hide' several million in.

In the former case, some of the recipients

were told that their moneywas held on deposit in theBank of Spain. Those whohad allegedly receivedmoney were told to send agiven sum to cover 'administration costs', whilst thoseasked for use of theiraccounts to 'hide' millionsof dollars were asked fortheir bank details. The latter would then find sums ofmoney missing from theiraccounts, whilst the formersent their 'administrationmoney' and never saw itagain.

One man in the USAwho was told he had inherited 28 million dollars sent

a million to cover 'costs', and another isthought to have sent upwards of 950 thousand dollars. Some were told to travel toSpain to collect their money from the country's central bank, and once there, given thelocation of a 'safe place' where the cash wasstored. Next, they were referred to highstreet banks – including Deutsche Bank – topay a given sum to cover legal and handlingfees.

CON CLOSED

A Spanish cave containing some of theworld's most preciousprehistoric art will stayopen for trial visits afterdecades closed for conservation reasons.Experts who launchedsmall trial viewings inFebruary at the Altamiracave to see whether theancient paintings couldwithstand the breathand germs of visitors have now decided toextend them, according to the culture ministry.

Renowned for its 14,000yearold paintings of red bison, the cave closed in 2002 forfear that moisture and microscopic fungiintroduced by visitors would ruin the prehistoric paint. This year's trial visits of smallgroups showed "no relation of cause andeffect between the presence of researchersand visitors... and the loss of pigment", theministry said in a statement. Experts have

now decided to continue letting five visitorsper week into the caveuntil next February inorder to monitor theeffect on the ancientmasterpieces over ayear, it added.

The highlight of thecave is a set of paintings, at least 14,000years old, of red andyellow bison plus hors

es, deer, humans with the heads of animalsand mysterious symbols. UNESCO listed thepaintings as a World Heritage Site in 1985,describing them as "masterpieces of creative genius and... humanity's earliestaccomplished art".

The cave was discovered in 1868 atSantillana del Mar in Spain's northernCantabria region. During the closure, visitorshave had to make do with replicas of thepaintings, with only scientists allowed intothe cave to carry out research.

MORE VIEWINGS


CHEAP EAT RECIPESTUNA SWEET POTATO JACKETS

Ingredients4 small sweet potatoes(about 200g each)185g can tuna in springwater, drained½ red onion, finely sliced1 small red chilli,deseeded and choppedjuice 1 lime6 tbsp Greek yogurthandful coriander leaves

Method1. Scrub the sweet potatoes and prick all over with a fork.Place on a microwaveable plate and cook on High for 1820mins, or until tender. Split in half and place each one, cutside up, on a serving plate.2. Flake the drained tuna with a fork and divide between thesweet potatoes. Top with the red onion and chilli, thensqueeze over the lime juice. Top with a dollop of yogurt andscatter over the coriander, to serve.

SUPER SMOKY BACON & TOMATOSPAGHETTIIngredients

400g spaghetti1 tbsp olive oil120g smoked streaky bacon, sliced into matchsticks1 onion, finely chopped1 garlic clove, finely chopped2 tsp sweet smoked paprika

2 x 400g cans chopped tomatoesgrated Parmesan, to serve(optional)

Method1. Bring a large pan of water tothe boil and cook the spaghettifollowing pack instructions.Meanwhile, heat the oil in alarge nonstick frying pan andcook the bacon for 34 minsuntil just starting to crisp. Stirin the onion and cook for another 34 mins, then add the garlic and smoked paprika, and cook for 1 min more.2. Pour in the chopped tomatoes, bring to the boil and bubble for about 5 mins until thickened, stirring every so often tostop it catching on the bottom. Drain the pasta and toss withthe sauce. Serve with Parmesan, if you like.

CHUNKY CHILLIIngredients

12 tbsp olive oil, plus extra if needed400g diced stewing beef1 onion, finely chopped2 garlic cloves, finely chopped1½ tsp ground cumin12 tbsp chipotle paste (or glutenfree alternative), depending on how spicy you like it400g can kidney beans in chilli sauce400g can chopped tomatoes1 lime, zested and cut into wedges

¼ small pack coriander,leaves onlycooked rice, to serve(optional)

Method1. Heat the oil in a largepan and cook the beefpieces for a few mins oneach side until brownedall over. Remove fromthe pan with a slottedspoon and set aside.2. Add the onion to the pan, with extra oil if needed, andcook until softened. Stir in the garlic, cumin and chipotlepaste, and cook for 1 min. Sieve the kidney beans, reservingthe sauce. Add this sauce, along with the chopped tomatoesand a can full of water, to the pan. Stir well, then return themeat to the pan. Bring to a simmer, then cook, covered, for2 hrs or until the beef is tender (or bake in the oven for 3 hrsat 160C/140C fan/gas 3).3. Add the reserved kidney beans and lime zest, season

25Friday, September 19, 2014and warm through. Serve with a scattering of corianderleaves, the lime wedges to squeeze over, and rice, if youlike.

SPICY OVEN-BAKED CHICKEN &CHIPS

Ingredients1 tbsp Cajun seasoning2 tbsp vegetable oilzest and juice 1 lime750g large potatoes, cutinto chips1kg chicken wingsgreen salad or coleslawand ketchup, to serve

Method1. Heat oven to200C/180C fan/gas 6. In a bowl, whisk together the Cajunseasoning, vegetable oil, lime zest and juice. Toss the chips,wings and Cajun mixture together in batches, so that everything is well coated.2. Cover a large baking sheet with foil, then arrange thechips around the outside and the wings in the middle.Season and bake for 20 mins, then turn the chips and returnto the oven for a further 2025 mins until the chips and wingsare golden. Serve with green salad, or coleslaw andketchup.

COURGETTE, SAUSAGE & RIGATONIBAKES

Ingredients1 tbsp olive oil4 goodquality porksausages2 courgettes, sliced onthe diagonal thenchopped into batons3 garlic cloves, finelyslicedpinch of chilli flakes400g can chopped tomatoes200g rigatoni½ x 150g ball mozzarella, patted dry and torn into chunks

Method1. Heat the oil in a large frying pan. Squeeze the sausagemeat out of the skins, breaking it into little chunks, and popin the pan. Fry for 8 mins until golden and cooked through.Tip in the courgettes, garlic and a pinch of chilli flakes. Fryfor a few mins until just tender. Pour over the chopped tomatoes, season and bubble down for 5 mins or so, adding asplash of water if it’s looking too thick.2. Meanwhile, cook the pasta following pack instructions.Drain and stir through the sauce and spoon everything into2 small flameproof dishes.3. Heat the grill to high. Dot the cheese on top of thesausage dishes, then place under the grill until the cheese isgolden and bubbling (about 510 mins), and serve.

SPICY SAUSAGE & BEAN ONE-POTIngredients

1 tbsp vegetable oil1 onion, thickly sliced8 Cumberland sausages1 fat garlic clove, crushed2 x 400g cans kidney beans in chilli sauce23 sprigs curly parsley, chopped

Method1. Heat the oil in a large frying pan. Cook the onion and

sausages over a fairly highheat for 810 mins, turningthe sausages often so theybrown all over.2. Add the garlic to the panwith the kidney beans andtheir sauce. Halffill one ofthe cans with water, swirland then add this to thepan. Stir everything together and bring to the boil. Turn down to simmer and cook for10 mins, or until the sausages are cooked through. Seasonand sprinkle with the parsley.

LAMB & CHICKPEA FRITTER WRAPSIngredients

1 x 400g and 1 x 210gcan chickpea, drainedand rinsed1 egg250g pack lean lambmince1 tsp ground cumin1 tsp ground coriander¼ tsp ground cinnamon3 garlic cloves, crushed1 red chilli, deseeded and finely chopped¼ small pack coriander, roughly chopped1 tbsp olive oil4 large tortilla wraps1 romaine lettuce, shredded4 tomatoes, sliced1 small red onion, thinly sliced150g pot 0% fat Greek yogurtoven chips, to serve (optional)

Method1. In a food processor, whizz the chickpeas with the egg fora few mins until almost a purée, but some bits remain.Spoon into a bowl and stir in the mince, spices, twothirds ofthe garlic, the chilli and coriander. Season well and form into12 small fritters.2. Heat the oil in a nonstick frying pan and cook the frittersin batches for 4 mins on each side, until crisp on the outsideand cooked through.3. Top each wrap with a good handful of shredded lettuce,tomato, red onion and 3 fritters. Mix the yogurt with theremaining garlic and spoon a little over the fritters. Wrap upand tuck in, with chips on the side, if you like.

MUSHROOM, RICOTTA & ROCKETTART

Ingredients1 sheet readyrolled puff pastry2 tbsp olive oil525g family pack mushrooms,halved or quartered if large2 garlic cloves, 1 finely sliced,1 crushed250g tub ricottagood grating of nutmeg¼ small pack parsley, leavesonly, roughly chopped50g rocket

Method1. Heat oven to 220C/200C fan/gas 7 and place a bakingsheet inside. Unroll the pastry onto a piece of baking parchment and score a border around the pastry about 1.5cm infrom the edge. Place the pastry (still on the parchment) onthe baking sheet and cook for 1015 mins.2. While the pastry bakes, heat the oil in a large lidded panand cook the mushrooms for 23 mins, with the lid on, stir

ring occasionally. Remove the lid and add the sliced garlic,then cook for 1 min more to get rid of excess liquid.3. Mix the crushed garlic with the ricotta and nutmeg, thenseason well. Remove the pastry from the oven and carefullypush down the risen centre. Spread over the ricotta mixture,then spoon on the mushrooms and garlic. Bake for 5 mins,then scatter over the parsley and rocket.

LENTIL & SWEET POTATO CURRYIngredients

2 tbsp vegetable or olive oil1 red onion, chopped1 tsp cumin seed1 tsp mustard seeds (anycolour)1 tbsp medium curry powder100g red or green lentils, ora mixture2 medium sweet potatoes,peeled and cut into chunks500ml vegetable stock400g can chopped tomatoes400g can chickpeas, drained¼ small pack coriander (optional)natural yogurt and naan bread, to serve

Method1. Heat the oil in a large pan, add the onion and cook for afew mins until softened. Add the spices and cook for 1 minmore, then stir in the lentils, sweet potatoes, stock andchopped tomatoes.2. Bring to the boil, then cover and simmer for 20 mins untilthe lentils and sweet potatoes are tender. Add the chickpeas, then heat through.3. Season, sprinkle with coriander, if you like, and serve withseasoned yogurt and naan bread.

TOMATO & RICE SOUPIngredients

2 tsp olive oil1 onion, finely chopped1 carrot, finely chopped1 celery stick, finely chopped1 tbsp golden caster sugar2 tbsp vinegar (white, red or balsamic)1 tbsp tomato purée400g can chopped tomatoes or passata1l vegetable stock made with 2 cubes140g rice (longgrain, basmati, wild, brown or a mixture)¼ small pack parsley, leaves only, chopped, and a few dropsof pesto, to serve (optional)

Method1. Heat the oil in a largesaucepan and add theonion, carrot and celery,then cook gently untilsoftened. Add the sugarand vinegar, cook for 1min, then stir through thetomato purée. Add thechopped tomatoes orpassata, the vegetablestock, and any brownrice, if using, then coverand simmer for 10 mins. If you are using wild rice, add thisand simmer for 10 mins more. Finally, add any white riceyou’re using, and simmer for a final 10 mins until the rice istender.2. Just before serving, sprinkle over some chopped parsleyand season to taste. Divide into bowls and add a swirl ofpesto to each, if you like.

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Horoscopes By Pandora

Aries March 21 April 19

Taurus April 20 May 20 A lot of changes could be taking place inyour life now, Taurus. Even though mostof them are positive, the upheaval can beunsettling right now. Don't give in topanic. Nothing needs to be done that youcan't handle. Take each task one step ata time. As you vault each hurdle, the roadahead seems that much smoother. Whenyou arrive, all will be well. Keep going!

Gemini May 21 June 20New beginnings and promising newopportunities may appear from a distantstate or foreign country, Gemini. Youradventurous side is excited and enthusiastic, but the side of you that wants to staysettled could put up some resistance.Don't feel you have to jump into anything.Get all the facts and assess the situationobjectively. Think seriously about it all.

Cancer June 21 July 22A financial windfall might open new doors foryou, Cancer, and you could consider makingsome major changes in your life. You mightthink about moving to a nicer home.Romance is definitely on your mind. If youaren't already involved in a domestic situation, you might consider it seriously rightnow. Change can be frightening, but thesechanges are good. Don't hesitate.

Leo July 23 August 22Expect some positive changes in a current partnership, Leo. If this is a businesspartnership, a new agreement betweenyou shows promise of success and goodfortune. If this is a romance, you might beso perfectly compatible that you're considering moving to the next level of commitment. Any new partnership beguntoday should be promising and bring youwhatever you hope to gain.

Have you been working out, following anew dietary program, or both, Virgo? Ifso, today you could look in the mirror andfor the first time see some tangible andpositive results. You're probably lookingand feeling great. Don't abandon yourefforts. You'll want to continue theprogress. Keep the energy flowing bygoing for a run or other workout, thentreat yourself to a small indulgence.

Libra September 23 October 22Have you been thinking about relocating,Libra? The siren song of distant states orexotic lands may play constantly in yourears. Foreign cultures could inspire youartistically, spiritually, and personally.This is actually a time when few thingsare out of your reach. If you're seriousabout this, look into it. You can decideonce you have all the facts.

Scorpio October 23 November 21Expect something new to take placeregarding your home today, Scorpio.Someone could come for a visit or evenmove in. You could be redecorating, landscaping, or buying new furniture. There isalways the possibility that you're moving.Whatever the changes, they're likely to bepositive despite the messy and disruptiveprocess of making them. You've got a lot tolook forward to!

Sagittarius November 22 December 21Some wonderful news could come to you,Sagittarius, possibly from a sibling orneighbor. It might involve money or a newopportunity that's opening up nearby. Agroup event concerning a subject you'revery interested in could also take place.You might feel you have a lot of phonecalls to make and plans to think about. Thefuture looks bright. Enjoy!

Capricorn December 22 January 19An opportunity to bring in extra incomemight arrive today, Capricorn, possiblythrough a female friend. AnotherCapricorn might be involved. This probably involves a special, temporary project,but it could prove enjoyable and profitable. A love partner might want to participate, too. Think about it before committing. Talk to people who have done thisbefore. It's worth a try, anyway.

Aquarius January 20 February 18This is a day of fresh beginnings for you,Aquarius. Accomplishments in the past foster a new sense of selfconfidence, alongwith optimism and enthusiasm for thefuture. Travel lies ahead, and possiblyadvancing your education in some way.Romance also looks promising. Go for afacial or massage today, or buy some newclothes. Start the new cycle by making yourappearance match what you feel inside.

Pisces February 19 March 20

Virgo August 23 September 22

If you've never tried your hand at the arts,Pisces, this is the day to do it. Your imagination and ingenuity are flying high, andyour aesthetic sense is acute right now. Ifyou aren't already involved with suchactivities, look online or in the paper andsee what classes or workshops areoffered in your area. Get a friend to go withyou. You'll probably have a great time!

You could encounter a potential romanticpartner today, Aries. You'll probably meetthis person at a group event and hit it offimmediately. This person is likely to bebright, physically attractive, kindhearted,and sensitive. If you're single and available,don't pass up this opportunity. Take advantage of the event to get to know each other.Who knows where this might lead?


Richard moved to Spain eight years ago havingleft his management background behind in theUK and decided to use his IT skills to help homeusers and small businesses with their PC problems. Now a relaxed 'computer man' he is outand about in the Spanish sun every day, makinghouse and shop calls and using his vast experience and qualifications to (usually) sort outthe problem there and then. Computers are hishobby as well as his work so don’t be surprisedto get an answer to your email in the earlyhours!

BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the Costa Blanca, they provide quality computerservices at realistic prices and specialise in working with

home users and small businesses.

[email protected] www.bluemoonsolutions.es

Mobile: 655 044 970 Office: 902 906 200

Don’t forget you can follow me on twitter @bluemoonspainAlternately why don’t you sign up for mynewsletter. You can do this by going to:www.bluemoonsolutions.es and fill inthe form that is on any page except thefront page.

RICHARD CAVENDERBluemoon Solutions www.bluemoonsolutions.es

ADVICE: James was receiving annoying messages fromAVG on his new computer.

I have recently purchased a new HP computer tower which has 500 GB capacityand 2 GB RAM and has AVG 2014 installed. If I have a number of website pagesopen or use Facebook a warning comes up from AVG advising that I have “HighMemory Usage” and suggests I close down the pages I have open to improve per

formance. The figure quoted for the memory being used is usually around 250/260 MB. Isthere anything I can do to improve matters?

Hi James, your system is not poorly spec’ed so you shouldn’t be receiving thesemessages from AVG, howevereven they confirm that this is anissue with their software reporting

useless information from time to time. Ifyou don’t want to see these messages youcan disable the performance notificationsfrom within AVG by doing the following…

Open the AVG User InterfaceClick ToolsClick Advance SettingsClick Appearance and uncheck “DisplayAVG advisor performance notifications”

Q

A

ADVICE: Lynn wanted to know how to turn off the JunkMail processing in Thunderbird

Hi Richard, I have just set up a new email account in Thunderbird and very frustratingly all of my emails are going into the Junk Email folder is there any way that Ican turn off this not very helpful function?

Hi Lynn, yes there is, you should do the following…

1. Launch Thunderbird2. Click Tools then Account Settings3. Click the email account in question 4. Click Junk Settings and Uncheck the box

QA

ADVICE: Mary was having some issues with Skype

I have recently installed Skype to be able to communicate with our grandchildren inthe UK. After a few minutes use the picture and speech starts to stutter and thenthe picture freezes. At this point a warning comes up that “the connection speed isto slow – shut down video”. Our children in the UK have ADSL speeds of 6 GB and

10 GB respectively whilst I have an ADSL speed of 2 GB which has been verified with aspeed test. My current ADSL supplier has an alternative speed at extra cost of 4 GB. Howcan I improve matters?

Hi Mary, the figures that you haveprovided separately should befine for using Skype with, yourslowest speed is an upload

speed of 400kbps which should be morethan ok, I would check that both you andyour daughter’s computers are using thesame, latest version of Skype as this cansometimes have a positive effect onSkype’s performance, failing that wewould need to look at the performance ofyour Internet connection whilst you are ina Skype call.

Q

A

ADVICE: Bill was having problems with the font size with-in his Gmail account.

Hello, my name is Bill and I called this afternoon with reference the font size on myGmail account. One day it was fine and the next it became very small. I have noidea how to put it right. Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated.As I am 74 my eyesight is not as it was so I have difficulty in seeing what I am doing

! Many Regards, Bill Hi Bill, I suspect that the problem is not actually with the font size set on your Gmailaccount, but more the zoom control for your web browser.If I am correct then when you go onto the Internet, all text will be small, not just thatwithin your Gmail account, in which case you should look at what is set in both the

“Zoom” and “Text Size” settings within your browser, to do this in Internet Explorer for example press CTRL + 0 to set the zoom back to 100%. If this doesn’t fix the problem then clickview, text size and set it to the default which is medium.One of those two solutions should fix the problem, if not then please come back to me andwe can work through what is the issue.Update. Hi Richard thanks for the Email. Unfortunately I use Mozilla Firefox so theinstructions don’t apply do they ? I did try as you said but no luck I am afraid. Arethere things that can be done for Firefox? Regards, BillA. Hi Bill, yes in Firefox you can use the keyboard shortcuts of…CTRL + to zoom in and increase the sizeCTRL – to zoom out and decrease the sizeOr CTRL 0 to set the size back to the defaultIn order to do this properly you press and hold the CTRL key and then press the other key,plus (+) or minus (–) or the number zero (0) once. Hope this helps.Update. Hi Richard, thank you sooo much! At last I can read my E mails again.Regards Bill

QA

The Toyota iRoad is the Japanese firm’stake on zero emissions future urban mobility.Just like the Renault Twizy, it’s a curiouspodlike device that can carry two people onelectric power alone.

But unlike the Twizy, the iRoad is evenmore radical. It has just three wheels andleans when you go round corners – and nowit’s going on trial on public roads inGrenoble, France.

The iRoad is the perfect size for tight citycentres. It’s just 85cm wide, which, Toyotasays, allows up to four iRoads to be parkedin just one car parking bay. This makes it anefficient use of space, which often comes ata premium in towns and cities.

Toyota’s iRoad has not one but two electric motors, producing 2Kw each. This doesn’t mean much power, however. The iRoadpushes out a grand total of 5.36hp at its twodriven front wheels. 062mph times and topspeed are therefore understandably prettyirrelevant.

Range and economy is. The iRoad cantravel up to 30 miles on a full charge and

produces zero CO2 tailpipeemissions. If you can chargeit at your city flat or place ofwork then brilliant. If you livein the country, it might not befor you.

The trial in Grenoble willsee 70 iRoads hit the streetsfrom 1 October as part of the'Cite Lib by Ha:Mo urbanmobility project.'

Anyone over 18 years oldwho has a valid drivinglicence can register. Oncesigned up, all they have to dois download the smartphoneapp that locates chargedvehicles in the vicinity.

The trial has been set up to develop userfriendly transport around town, as well ashelping develop a better integrated publictransport service. As a result, people cancollect an iRoad from their closest hub,make their journey and then drop it off at anyone of 27 charging points nearest their des

tination. Just remember to plug it in for thenext person.

Making it even more nimble around town,the iRoad uses Toyota’s Active Lean technology. It’s similar to themovements a skier makes,leaning over in the bends tohelp grip and stability.

Toyota’s urban mobility podoffers a full canopy for weather protection and improvedsafety.

Although the sensation ofleaning over in a car mightfeel odd at first, with threewheels and clever computers

to keep it controlled, it’s entirely safe – if notsafer than a fourwheeled car with a wheelbase this short, as it effectively lowers thecentre of gravity when you turn.

Alongside the threewheeled curio, Toyotais also trialling its COMS fourwheel electricvehicle.

Similar in concept to the iRoad but withan extra wheel, the COMS is slightly largerand therefore slightly more practical.

Just like the iRoad, the COMS will beavailable as part of the threeyear public trialin Grenoble.

Neither vehicle takes much charging –being so light the iRoad doesn’t have muchmass to shift so it therefore doesn’t need asmuch power to shift it. It takes just threehours to charge from a threepin plug, soshould be much quicker from a rapid charger. It’ll be interesting to see how the iRoadand COMS’s battery life stack up after threeyears of short journeys and quick charging.

The Department forTransport (DfT) has confirmed that any driver caughtusing Apple’s new iWatchwearable technology behindthe wheel will receive thesame penalty as if they wereusing a mobile phone.

The new “smartwatch”was announced this weekand allows wearers to readtext messages, make phonecalls and browse the interneton the device.

The wristwatch is wirelessly linked to the user’s

mobile phone, which supplies the data connection tosurf the web and make andreceive calls.

Speaking to Auto Express,a DfT spokesperson said theDepartment was investigating “further options” in termsof penalties and deterrentsfor the future.

However, it’s thought current laws surrounding theuse of mobile phones whiledriving are adequate and farreaching enough to apply towearable “smart” technology.

It means if drivers arecaught using the iWatchwhen in control of a car theycould be liable to a £100 onthe spot fine and threepenalty points on their driving licence.

Although the user may nothave to physically hold thedevice to use it, this is notthe main reason for the proposed penalty.

The extra mental effort ittakes to talk on the phonewhile driving, combined withthe physical distraction of thetechnology, means a driver’sconcentration levels andmental capacity to processinformation in front of themis drastically reduced.

“Using a mobile phone orany device that distracts adriver while driving isextremely dangerous and isalready illegal,” the DfTspokesperson continued.

The fine for using a mobilephone while behind thewheel was increased from£60 to £100 in August 2013and now the DfT is exploringnew sanctions to even further deter drivers from usingtechnology on the move.

However, it may prove difficult to police use of theiWatch. Current UK trafficlaw states that drivers areallowed to use handsfreedevices, such as voice activated Bluetooth systemsand sat navs.

The new Apple timepiecehas the capability for handsfree use, which means officers might find it a challengeto prove a driver was physically manipulating thedevice.


2014 Toyota i-Road: what is it?

Apple iWatch illegalto use while driving


Code Cracker is a crossword puzzle with no clues;instead, every letter of the alphabet has beenreplaced by a number, the same number representingthe same letter throughout the puzzle. All you have todo is decide which letter is represented by whichnumber. In this week’s puzzle, 18 represents M and 20represents Q, when these letters have been enteredthroughout the puzzle, you should have enoughinformation to start guessing words and discoveringother letters.

CODE CRACKER

CRYTPIC CLUESAcross1 Peer so aroused to stateof quiet restfulness (6)4 Misquote for headgear

(5)8 Actor David as the leaderof Argonauts (5)9 Admire Isolde, I find (7)

10 New campaign, not onefor staying outdoors (7)11 A pair in a Tokyo kebabshop (4)12 May cooked sweet potato (3)14 Firearms beingreturned, we are feelingvery cosy and secure (4)15 ‘Morning Britain’, cryfrom pulpit (4)18 Go after sheltered fool(3)21 Blow pipe you hear veryloud (4)23 Light metal ignited himoutside the university (7)25 Beat writer first with anold club (7)26 Rocking stone along fora change (5)27 Minor modification to

raw edge in hard wood (5)28 Sailors at Americanbirthplace of Saint Paul (6)Down1 Throw away badly writtenCrete journal (6)2 Man of letters who calls

regularly (7)3 Sea god in accommoda

tion in California (3,5)4 Strode in during introduction (4)5 Go round capital (5)6 View allowed through

this? (6)7 Miserly cocktail of my gin(5)13 A man at the cash register with a Spanish scarf (8)16 Joins brides withgrooms’ capital (7)17 Backbone by Toryleader it’s played on (6)19 French Apostle has astroke of luck (5)20 Compensation for athousand goals (6)22 Makeup brief work out(5)24 Single out the diggingtool (4)

Last weeks SolutionAcross:7 Regime, 8 Alison, 9 Bali, 10 Clincher, 11 Destine,13 House, 15 Latex, 17 Pale ale, 20 Catch out, 21 Aery, 22Miners, 23 Agaric. Down: 1 Beware, 2 Kiwi, 3 Deicing, 4 Tacit, 5 Disclose, 6Loners, 12 Trencher, 14 Partial, 16 Arabic, 18 Larkin, 19Holst, 21 Alas.

DOUBLE CROSS-WORDSolve the Double CrossWord puzzle using either the

standard or cryptic clues, the answers are exactly the same.

WordsearchThe aim of our Word Search puzzle is to find all the 33

words listed below hidden within the puzzle.

Across1 By way of (3)3 Confess (5)6 Peaked hat (3)8 Innate (7)9 Mournful song (5)

10 Blockade (5)11 Going on foot (7)12 Halfasleep (6)14 Brief trip (6)17 City in southern Spain(7)19 Reddish brown (5)21 Slow speech pattern (5)22 Get rid of (7)23 Timid (3)24 Avoid (5)25 Failure (3)

Down1 Planet (5)2 Style of design popular

in the 1920s and 1930s(3,4)3 Concur (5)4 African country (6)5 Young child (7)6 Welsh breed of dog (5)7 Promised (7)

12 Deciphers (7)13 Ruined (7)15 Practical (7)16 Risk (6)18 Prepared (5)19 Range (5)20 Small bug (5)

QUICKIE

Last weeks SolutionAcross: 1 Cheap, 4 Uses, 9 Arrange, 10 Eject, 11 Rue, 12Egypt, 14 Patio, 15 Axial, 16 Fail, 18 Easy, 20 Kiwis, 22Osaka, 23 Swede, 25 Tie, 26 Sushi, 27 Ensnare, 29 Shed,30 Dregs. Down: 1 Chapel, 2 Early, 3 Pan, 5 Sleepless, 6Sleuths, 7 Ferris wheel, 8 Stoop, 13 Talkative, 17Amasses, 19 Boast, 21 Defers, 24 Evade, 28 Sad.

Across1 Body (of person, ani

mal) (6)4 Shell (of snail, shellfish)

(6)8 Sobrina (5)

10 North (side, part) (5)11 Nine (5)12 Leones (5)13 Noise (5)14 Behind (at the back) (5)17 Toad (4)19 Pan de molde (4)21 Granos (en la piel) (5)24 Toll (on road, bridge)(5)25 Wide (street, river,trousers) (5)27 Otra vez (5)28 Equipos (deporte) (5)29 Tumba (5)30 Cucharas (para comer)

(6)31 Fiebres (6)Down1 Velas (de cera) (7)2 January (5)3 Press (newspapers) (6)5 Dueños (de casas,

coches, perros) (6)6 Trolley (supemarket) (7)7 Fir tree (5)9 To read (4)

15 Grifo (de agua) (3)16 Hormiga (3)18 Banana (7)20 Flores (7)21 Estación (parte del año)(6)22 To pray (say prayers)(4)23 Blood (6)24 Ducks (birds) (5)26 Lesson (5)

SPANISH-ENGLISH CROSSWORDImprove your Spanish clues in Spanish, answers inEnglish or vice versa.

STANDARD CLUESAcross 1 Lie comfortably (6)4 Chef’s hat (5)8 Mythical Greek hero (5)9 Heroworship (7)

10 Holidaying in a tent (7)11 Harness for oxen (4)12 Edible tuber (3)14 Fitting closely but comfortably (4)15 Early pulpit (4)18 Loutish fellow (3)21 Breathe heavily (4)23 Soft, silverwhite, lightmetal (7)25 Nine iron (7)26 Rocking stone (5)27 Adjust finely (5)

28 Ankle bones, collectively(6)Down 1 Discard (6)2 Person who delivers the

mail (7)3 California port (3,5)4 Walk over (4)5 Capital of Ecuador (5)6 Embroidered hole (6)7 Miserly (5)

13 Spanish scarf (8)16 River crossings (7)17 Short upright piano (6)19 Stroke of luck (5)20 Corrects (6)22 Threadlike structure (5)24 Choose (4)

Scribble Pad

Aero

Boost

Bounty

Bournville

Breakaway

Crunchie

Curly Wurly

Dairy Milk

Drifter

Flake

Fudge

Galaxy

Kinder

Bueno

KitKat

Lion Bar

Mars Bar

Milka

Milky Bar

Milky Way

Penguin

Picnic

Time Out

Toblerone

Toffifee

Topic

Twirl

Twix

Wispa

Wonka Bar

Yorkie


archivo

arrastrar

arroba

barra

carpeta

contraseña

correo cifrado

descargar

dos puntos

enviar

firma digital

navegador

negrita

pegar

ratón

red

teclado

Empareja estas palabras Match the Spanish and English wordsYou will find the answers at the bottom of the quiz.

1.archivo, 2.arrastrar, 3.arroba,

4.barra, 5.carpeta,

6.contraseña, 7.correo cifrado,

8.descargar, 9.dos puntos,

10.enviar, 11.firma digital,

12.Navegador, 13.negrita,

14.pegar, 15.ratón, 16.red,

17.teclado.

a.bold, b.password, c.network,

d.slash, e.file, f.colon,

g.keyboard, h.digital signature,

i.to send, j.folder, k.to paste,

l.browser, m.to drag, n.mouse,

o.to download, p.at@,

q.encrypted mail.

Answers: 1e, 2m, 3p, 4d, 5j, 6b, 7g, 8o, 9f,10i, 11h, 12l, 13a, 14k, 15n, 16c,17g.

Across1 Personification of

England or the typicalEnglishman, represented asa stout redfaced farmer in atop hat and high boots (4,4)

5 Went out of business(6)

10 Single thickness ofusually some homogeneoussubstance (5)

11 Drug prepared fromthe dried leaves of foxgloves and containing substances that stimulate theheart muscle (9)

12 Large rodent withdefensive spines or quills onthe body and tail (9)

13 Exhibition or contest inwhich cowboys show theirskill at riding broncos, roping calves, wrestling steers,etc (5)

14 Capital and largest cityof Zimbabwe (6)

15 Nonmetallic element(symbol Si), forming greycrystals or brown amorphous powder and having

semiconducting properties(7)

18 Hinged surface in thetrailing edge of an aeroplane wing, used to controlthe roll of an aircraft aboutits longitudinal axis (7)

20 In support of (6)22 Country house or cot

tage in Russia, typicallyused as a second or holidayhome (5)

24 Vast plain in Tanzaniato the west of the Great RiftValley known for its wildlife(9)

25 Kind of gelatinobtained from fish, especially sturgeon, and used inmaking jellies, glue, etc. andfor fining real ale (9)

26 Realistic Norwegianauthor who wrote plays onsocial and political themes,such as The Master Builder(1892), Peer Gynt (1867)and A Doll's House (1879):Henrik (5)

27 1953 musical that features the songs: Baubles,

Bangles and Beads,Stranger in Paradise andAnd This Is My Beloved (6)

28 Person who associ

ates with another person ora group in a sycophanticmanner or for the purposeof gaining some personal

advantage (62)Down

1 Old car in a dilapidatedcondition (6)

2 Norwegian anthropologist noted for his ocean voyages in primitive craft todemonstrate his theories ofcultural diffusion, the bestknown of which was that ofthe balsa raft KonTiki fromPeru to the islands east ofTahiti in 1947: Thor (9)

3 Area of the westernAtlantic Ocean where alarge number of ships andaircraft are said to havemysteriously disappeared(7,8)

4 Member of any of thebands of English workerswho destroyed machinery,especially in cotton andwoollen mills, which theybelieved was threateningtheir jobs (181116) (7)

6 Solving of problems byan indirect and creativeapproach, typically through

viewing the problem in anew and unusual light (7,8)

7 Cold dish of variousmixtures of raw or cookedvegetables, usually seasoned with oil, vinegar orother dressing (5)

8 Reduction in the sellingprice of something (8)

9 Metal or plastic tubesfixed round each end ofshoelaces (6)

16 Son of Ethelred theUnready, king of England104266, famed for hispiety: Edward the (9)

17 Comic character in thetelevision seriesBlackadder, played by actorTony Robinson (8)

19 Capital of theBahamas (6)

20 Person who makesand serves coffee in a coffee bar (7)

21 Haddock usuallybaked but sometimesbroiled with lots of butter (6)

23 Strips of potato fried indeep fat (5)

Quiz Word

Last weeks Quiz Word SolutionAcross: 1 October, 5 Die Hard, 9 Tarantula, 10 Beano, 11Penne, 12 Elsewhere, 13 Shadows, 15 Antique, 17 Pacific,19 Marceau, 21 Acropolis, 23 Sofia, 25 Blini, 26 Terrified, 27Yangtze, 28 Tweeted. Down: 1 Octopus, 2 Turin, 3 Bunkedoff, 4 Reuters, 5 Dead Sea, 6 Elbow, 7 Arabesque, 8Diocese, 14 Accordion, 16 Turnstile, 17 Playboy, 18Colette, 19 Muskrat, 20 Unaided, 22 Paint, 24 Feint.

SUDOKU (Easy) SALLY’S SIMPLE SPANISH

Last Week’s Solutions

Code Cracker

Suduko Span Eng Quizword Word Search

1. What animal can smell a virgin of the same type ofanimal from 1.8 miles away?2. Chogori is better know by what boring name?3. In the wild, which animal pollinates banana plants?4. Who Invented Nylon?5. What Frightened Miss Muffet Away?6. Secret Research Into What Was Nicknamed TheManhattan Project?7. What Do You Call A Birth Where A Baby's Feet AreDelivered First?8. What Is The More Common Name For AllergicRhinitus?9. What Sort Of Animal Was Tarka?10. What Disorder Results In Compulsive Eating AndInduced Vomiting?11. which fruit has the latin name of malus oumila?12. Who discovered Penicillian in 1928?13. Which world champion was beaten by a machinecalled Deep Blue in 1997?14. What did Englishman Percy Shaw contribute toroad safety in 1934?

ANSEWRS 1. Gypsy Moth 2. K2 3. Bats 4. An AmericanChemist Named William H Carothers 5. A Spider 6. The AtomBomb 7. Breech Birth 8. Hay Fever 9. An Otter 10. Bulimia11. apple 12. Alexander Fleming 13. Gary Kasparov (Chess)14. He Invented Cats Eyes

science QUIZ

Match these words with their Spanish translations then find them in the wordsearch. (Answers below)

INFORMÁTICACOMPUTING


FridaySeptember 19

07:00 Breakfast10:15 Rip Off Britain11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Street Patrol UK12:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 BBC Regional News andWeather14:45 Doctors15:15 Pressure Pad16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 A Taste of Britain17:30 Flog It!18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 Weather20:00 The One Show20:30 A Question of Sport21:00 EastEnders21:30 Would I Lie to You?22:00 Boomers22:30 Big School23:00 BBC News23:25 BBC Regional News andWeather23:35 The National Lottery Stars:2014

00:20 This World01:20 Traders: Millions by theMinute02:20 Panorama02:50 This Is BBC Two05:00 The Birth of Empire: TheEast India Company06:00 History Hunt07:05 Homes Under the Hammer08:05 Street Patrol UK

08:50 Caught Red Handed09:20 Animal Saints and Sinners10:05 Super Senses: The SecretPower of Animals11:05 First Time on the Front Line11:35 The Travel Show12:00 BBC News12:30 BBC World News13:00 Daily Politics14:00 Fred Dibnah's World ofSteam, Steel and Stone14:30 Cash in the Attic15:15 Ready Steady Cook16:00 Celebrity MasterChef16:45 A Year in the Wild17:45 Great British RailwayJourneys18:15 Put Your Money Where YourMouth Is19:00 Two Tribes19:30 Eggheads20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip21:00 Mastermind21:30 Lorraine Pascale: How to Bea Better Cook22:00 The Great British Bake Off:An Extra Slice22:30 Gardeners' World23:00 The Perfect Morecambe &Wise23:30 Newsnight

07:00 Good Morning Britain11:00 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV Meridian Weather14:55 ITV News Meridian15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Emmerdale20:30 Coronation Street21:00 Gino's Italian Escape21:30 Coronation Street22:00 Piers Morgan's Life Stories23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather23:30 ITV Meridian Weather23:40 Hot Fuzz

00:35 First Time Farmers01:30 Embarrassing Bodies DownUnder02:25 One Born Every Minute USA03:20 Don't Stop the Music04:15 Time Team Specials05:10 Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses06:05 Deal or No Deal07:00 Countdown07:45 Will & Grace08:10 The King of Queens09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond10:00 Frasier11:30 Undercover Boss12:30 Four in a Bed13:00 Channel 4 News Summary13:05 Four in a Bed15:10 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent16:10 Countdown17:00 Deal or No Deal18:00 Come Dine with Me19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News21:00 The Million Pound Drop22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats DoesCountdown23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man

00:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take ItAway!01:00 SuperCasino04:10 Once Upon a Time05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge05:20 HouseBusters05:45 House Doctor07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:25 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:50 Pip Ahoy!08:05 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:15 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Little Princess09:15 Peppa Pig09:25 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 The Dog Rescuers13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 Britain's Deadliest Roads14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS16:15 Magic beyond Words: the JKRowling Story18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 5 News Tonight20:00 World War II in Colour21:00 Storage: Flog the Lot!22:00 Body of Proof23:00 NCIS

BODY OF PROOFNew series. Part one of two. Megan returns to workfollowing Peter's death, and though initiallyassigned to a seemingly routine case soon findsherself investigating the mysterious deaths of fiveveterans of the conflict in Afghanistan after sheuncovers their bodies close by to the scene of herinquiry.

TRELI ON THE TELLYcalled The Last Ship and itlooks great. It’s the old plotline of nasty virus knockingout most of the world, and wehave scientists looking for acure who just happen to beon this US navy vessel thatoffers the only hope for salvation. It looks and feels likea movie and because it has alimited run (with a secondseries coming next year), itmeans it won’t bore you todeath and run out of steam. Iloved the opening episodeand there was a good twist at

not to return next year.

qAnd finally, from “the cocreator” of Lost, Sky

Atlantic are bringing us theHBO drama, The Leftovers,which sounds like it shouldbe something you eat, but it’sa mystery about why two percent of the world’s populationhave disappeared. Yes, wealso have 10 episodes towatch (and series two isbooked) and the good newsis that it is genuinely thought

provoking and serious butvery well acted, with thetoken Brits includingChristopher Eccleston (whowas Doctor Who) andPaterson Joseph (who somepeople thought might beDoctor Who a few yearsago). This is an excellentdrama beautifully executedbut we do want a proper enddown the line, not the cobblers that Lost gave us a fewyears ago.

It may not feel like autumnaround these parts withthese high temperatures,but we are certainly intothe time when new US TVshows are hitting us fromall angles, but what’s goodor not?

From the States, Sky Onehas bought a 10part drama

the end. Top notch popcornTV.

qI get very worried whennew shows are promot

ed as claiming to be from theproducers of past successes.So on FOX UK, from the producers of “24 andHomeland”, we have Tyrantwhich is the story of a manwho lives in California withhis family, having got out of aMiddle East country run byhis dictator father. A weddingbrings him back nearly 20years later, as we learn some

of the back story and ofcourse things go wrong. It’san interesting premise, andis also 10 episodes long withrenewal from FX in theStates probably likely. But Iwas calling out some of theclichéd lines before theywere uttered and the treatment of women as sexobjects was purely there forshock/ratings purposes. Ithas more of a smell of a soaprather than a serious drama,and the British lead, AdamRayner, looks unhappy in itall. It’s all rather weird but I’llstill stick with it.

qGuess what? From theexecutive producer of

“24 and Homeland” there’s anew action drama starring aBrit actor! Sheffield’s finest,Sean Bean stars as anundercover FBI agent whobecomes a different personfor each case in Legends,airing on Sky One. Bean istop notch but there’s nothingespecially innovative aboutthe show, which also has a10 part run, and has lost halfits American viewers afterjust five weeks. Watch it forBean, but expect Legends

with ALEX TRELINSKI

MARKING YOUR CARD

35

SaturdaySeptember 20

SundaySeptember 21

01:50 Jackpot24704:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA04:40 ITV Nightscreen07:00 Fort Boyard UltimateChallenge07:25 Pat & Stan07:40 Dino Dan08:05 Canimals08:20 Om Nom Stories08:25 Sooty08:40 Mr Bean: The AnimatedSeries08:50 Matt Hatter Chronicles09:15 Nerds & Monsters09:30 The Munch Box10:25 ITV News10:30 The Hungry Sailors11:25 Murder, She Wrote12:25 ITV News and Weather12:29 ITV Meridian Weather12:30 Columbo: Swan Song14:30 Catchphrase15:15 I Never Knew That AboutBritain15:45 The X Factor16:50 The Incredible Hulk19:00 ITV News Meridian19:15 ITV News and Weather19:30 You've Been Framed!20:00 The Chase21:00 The X Factor22:20 Through the Keyhole23:20 ITV News and Weather23:39 ITV Meridian Weather23:40 The Shawshank Redemption

00:05 Jon Richardson Grows Up01:10 The Troll Hunter02:55 Anna & Katy03:20 The Inbetweeners USA03:45 Very Important People04:10 Revenge04:50 Sarah Beeny's SellingHouses05:40 Hugh's 3 Good Things: BestBites05:55 SuperScrimpers: Top Tips06:05 Deal or No Deal06:45 NFL: Rush Zone07:00 Trans World Sport07:55 Great Scottish Swim08:55 The Morning Line10:00 Weekend Kitchen11:00 Everybody Loves Raymond11:30 Frasier12:25 The Big Bang Theory13:25 The Simpsons13:55 Gadget Man14:25 Channel 4 Racing17:10 Come Dine with Me19:45 Channel 4 News20:05 Sarah Beeny's Double YourHouse for Half the Money21:00 Grand Designs22:00 The ATeam

00:00 NCIS00:55 Access01:00 SuperCasino04:10 Once Upon a Time05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge05:20 HouseBusters05:45 House Doctor06:10 House Doctor06:35 House Doctor07:00 Peppa Pig07:05 Roary the Racing Car07:15 Angelina Ballerina07:30 Bubble Guppies07:40 The Mr Men Show07:55 Chloe's Closet08:05 Olly the Little White Van08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas08:25 Make Way for Noddy08:40 City of Friends08:55 Little Princess09:10 The Adventures of BottleTop Bill and His Best Friend Corky09:25 Wanda and the Alien09:45 Rupert Bear10:00 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom10:15 Jelly Jamm10:30 LazyTown11:00 Chinese Food in Minutes11:15 Ultimate Police Interceptors12:15 Police Interceptors13:20 The Battle of the V115:25 U57117:35 The Great Escape21:05 The First Great Escape22:00 World War II in Colour22:55 5 News Weekend23:00 Live International Boxing

00:40 The Football League Show02:00 Weather for the WeekAhead02:05 BBC News07:00 Breakfast08:40 Match of the Day10:00 The Andrew Marr Show11:00 Sunday Morning Live12:00 Sunday Politics13:15 MOTD2 Extra14:00 BBC News14:10 Weather for the WeekAhead14:15 Bargain Hunt15:00 Escape to the Country16:00 The Great British Bake Off17:00 Points of View17:15 Lifeline17:25 Songs of Praise18:00 Formula 119:35 BBC News; Regional Newsand Weather20:00 Countryfile21:00 Antiques Roadshow22:00 Our Girl23:00 BBC News; Regional Newsand Weather23:30 Match of the Day 2

BBC200:05 Peaky Blinders01:05 TOTP202:05 A Boy Called Dad

03:20 This Is BBC Two07:00 Countryfile08:00 Monty Don's Italian Gardens09:00 Gardeners' World09:30 The Beechgrove Garden10:00 The Football League Show11:20 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites12:50 Lorraine Pascale: How toBe a Better Cook13:20 Paul Hollywood's Pies &Puds13:50 Rick Stein's MediterraneanEscapes14:50 4 for Texas16:45 Flog It!17:30 Equator18:30 Penguins on a Plane: GreatAnimal Moves19:30 Super League20:30 Dad's Army21:00 Dragons' Den22:00 This World23:00 Mock the Week23:30 Peaky Blinders

00:20 Sexy Beast02:05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man03:05 Homeland04:05 Hollyoaks06:10 Simply Italian06:40 NFL: Rush Zone07:05 NFL: The American FootballShow08:00 Street Velodrome08:55 British GT Championship09:30 Ironman 201410:00 Frasier10:30 Sunday Brunch13:30 George Clarke's AmazingSpaces14:30 The Big Bang Theory15:00 The Big Bang Theory15:30 The Big Bang Theory16:00 The Simpsons16:30 Star Trek: Insurrection18:30 Deal or No Deal19:30 Channel 4 News20:00 Posh Pawn21:00 Operation Maneater22:00 Safe House

01:00 SuperCasino04:10 Once Upon a Time05:00 House Doctor05:25 Make It Big06:15 Angels of Jarm06:40 Roary the Racing Car07:00 Peppa Pig07:05 Roary the Racing Car07:15 Angelina Ballerina07:30 Bubble Guppies07:40 The Mr Men Show07:55 Chloe's Closet08:05 Olly the Little White Van08:10 Bananas in Pyjamas08:25 Make Way for Noddy08:40 City of Friends08:55 Little Princess09:10 The Adventures of Bottle TopBill and His Best Friend Corky09:25 Wanda and the Alien09:40 Rupert Bear10:00 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom10:15 Jelly Jamm10:30 LazyTown11:00 Access11:05 Police Interceptors12:00 Police Interceptors13:00 Police Interceptors14:00 Police Interceptors14:55 Are We Done Yet?16:40 See Spot Run18:35 Cloudy with a Chance ofMeatballs20:15 5 News Weekend20:20 Rush Hour 222:00 In Time

02:15 Jackpot24704:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA04:40 ITV Nightscreen07:00 Fort Boyard UltimateChallenge07:25 Pat & Stan07:40 Dino Dan08:05 Canimals08:20 Om Nom Stories08:25 Sooty08:40 Mr Bean: The Animated Series08:50 Ultimate SpiderMan09:20 Nerds & Monsters09:30 Big Time Rush10:00 The Aquabats! Super Show!10:25 Dickinson's Real Deal11:25 Murder, She Wrote12:25 ITV News and Weather12:29 ITV Meridian Weather12:30 Carry On Follow That Camel14:20 Beethoven's 2nd16:00 The X Factor17:15 Midsomer Murders19:10 You've Been Framed!19:35 ITV Meridian Weather19:35 ITV News Meridian19:45 ITV News and Weather20:00 Sunday Night at the Palladium21:00 The X Factor22:00 Downton Abbey23:30 ITV News and Weather23:49 ITV Meridian Weather23:50 The Unforgettable

00:20 Outnumbered00:50 EastEnders02:45 Weather for the WeekAhead02:50 BBC News07:00 Breakfast11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live12:30 The Great British Bake Off:An Extra Slice13:00 BBC News; Weather13:10 Football Focus13:50 Saturday Sportsday14:00 Bargain Hunt15:00 Homes Under the Hammer16:00 Escape to the Country17:00 Final Score18:10 Formula 119:25 BBC News; Regional Newsand Weather19:40 Pointless Celebrities20:30 Doctor Who21:20 The National Lottery: In It toWin It22:10 Casualty23:00 BBC News; Weather23:20 Match of the Day

00:35 Later with Jools Holland01:40 Nothing to Lose03:10 This World04:10 This Is BBC Two

07:10 The Falcon in Hollywood08:15 The Falcon in San Francisco09:20 The Trials of Life10:10 The Trials of Life11:00 Map Man11:30 South Africa Walks12:00 Great Continental RailwayJourneys13:00 James Martin's Food Map ofBritain13:25 Paul Hollywood's Pies &Puds13:55 Rick Stein's MediterraneanEscapes14:55 Talking Pictures15:35 Ladies in Lavender17:10 Six Days Seven Nights18:45 The £100K House: Tricks ofthe Trade19:45 Flog It!20:30 Dad's Army21:00 Operation Stonehenge:What Lies Beneath22:00 Defiance

THE A-TEAMAction adventure based on the popular 1980s TVseries, starring Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper.Four American soldiers serving in Iraq are wronglyconvicted and sent to prison following the death ofa senior officer during a secret operation. Whileincarcerated they receive information that theywere framed, so decide to escape and begin aneffort to clear their names.

DOWNTOWNABBEY

The eagerly awaited fifth series of Julian Fellowes'hit period drama begins. It's now 1924, and whileBritain feels the winds of change swept in by a newLabour government, Downton's residents bothabove and below stairs are undergoing alterationstoo. After mourning the death of his beloved wifeLady Sybil for four years, Branson decides it's timehe got on with his life, although Robert isn't comfortable about the exchauffeur's relationship withlocal teacher Sarah Bunting.

36

00:20 Premiership Rugby Union01:20 The Store03:20 Motorsport UK04:10 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA04:55 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Good Morning Britain09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV Meridian Weather15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Emmerdale20:30 Coronation Street21:00 The Undriveables21:30 Coronation Street22:00 Cilla23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather23:30 ITV Meridian Weather23:40 The One and Only Cilla Black

00:10 Elektra01:50 True Crimes: The First 72Hours02:15 SuperCasino04:10 Once Upon a Time05:00 House Doctor05:25 Make It Big06:20 Angels of Jarm06:40 Roary the Racing Car07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:20 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:50 Peppa Pig07:55 Pip Ahoy!08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Little Princess09:15 Peppa Pig09:25 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 Cowboy Builders13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 Police Interceptors14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS16:15 By Appointment Only18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 5 News Tonight20:00 The Gadget Show21:00 Ultimate Police Interceptors22:00 Age Gap Love23:00 Under the Dome

00:15 The Sixth Sense02:10 American Football Live06:00 British GT Championship06:30 Simply Italian07:00 Countdown07:45 Will & Grace08:10 The King of Queens09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond10:00 Frasier11:30 Undercover Boss Canada12:30 Four in a Bed13:00 Channel 4 News Summary13:05 Four in a Bed13:35 Four in a Bed14:05 Four in a Bed14:40 Four in a Bed15:10 Phil: Secret Agent DownUnder16:10 Countdown17:00 Deal or No Deal18:00 Come Dine with Me19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News21:00 Jamie's Comfort Food21:30 Gadget Man22:00 Derren Brown: Infamous23:35 Jon Richardson Grows Up

00:10 Wedding Daze01:35 Weather for the Week Ahead01:40 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 Rip Off Britain11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Saints and Scroungers12:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 BBC Regional News andWeather14:45 Doctors15:15 Perfection16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 A Taste of Britain17:30 Antiques Road Trip18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 Weather20:00 The One Show20:30 EastEnders21:00 Holby City22:00 The Driver23:00 BBC News23:25 National Lottery Update23:35 Cat Wars

00:20 Today at Conference00:50 This World01:50 Scrappers02:20 This Is BBC Two05:00 The World's War: ForgottenSoldiers of Empire06:00 Schools Children of WorldWar Two06:30 Schools Roman Voices

07:05 Homes Under the Hammer08:05 Saints and Scroungers08:50 Caught Red Handed09:20 Animal Saints and Sinners10:05 Natural World11:05 Food & Drink11:35 HARDtalk12:00 BBC News12:30 BBC World News13:00 Daily Politics14:00 Fred Dibnah's World ofSteam, Steel and Stone14:30 Cash in the Attic15:00 Daily Politics16:45 Coast17:00 Great British RailwayJourneys17:30 Pressure Pad18:15 Flog It!19:00 Two Tribes19:30 Eggheads20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip21:00 The £100K House: Tricks ofthe Trade22:00 The Motorway: Life in theFast Lane23:00 Later Live with JoolsHolland23:30 Weather

RAMSAY’SKITCHN

NIGHTMARESGordon Ramsay takes the final series of KitchenNightmares to the Costa del Sol, helping expatsstruggling to keep their restaurants in business inthe Spanish region. In the first edition, the chefvisits Mayfair, situated in a prime location on thebusy seafront in Fuengirola, Malaga.

01:05 Jackpot24704:00 UEFA Champions LeagueWeekly04:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA05:10 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Good Morning Britain09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV Meridian Weather15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Emmerdale21:00 Long Lost Family: WhatHappened Next22:00 I Married the Waiter: Love inthe Sun23:00 ITV News at Ten andWeather23:30 ITV Meridian Weather23:40 State of Play

00:35 NFL: The American FootballShow01:35 First Time Farmers02:30 SheMonkeys03:55 Mammon05:00 Sarah Beeny's SellingHouses05:55 River Cottage Bites06:05 The Million Pound Drop07:00 Countdown07:45 Will & Grace08:10 The King of Queens09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond10:00 Frasier11:30 Undercover Boss Canada12:30 Four in a Bed13:00 Channel 4 News Summary13:05 Four in a Bed15:10 Phil: Secret Agent DownUnder16:10 Countdown17:00 Deal or No Deal18:00 Come Dine with Me19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News21:00 Dogs: Their Secret Lives22:00 Ramsay's KitchenNightmares23:00 8 Out of 10 Cats DoesCountdown

00:00 Hollow Man01:55 SuperCasino04:10 Once Upon a Time05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge05:20 HouseBusters05:45 House Doctor07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:20 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:50 Peppa Pig07:55 Pip Ahoy!08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Little Princess09:15 Peppa Pig09:25 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 Cowboy Builders13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away!14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS16:15 Carolina Moon18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 5 News Tonight20:00 Meerkat Manor20:30 5 News Update20:30 The Secret Life of Pets21:00 Crimes That Shook Britain22:00 CSI: Crime SceneInvestigation23:00 Secrets & Lies

MondaySeptember 22

TuesdaySeptember 23

00:50 The Resident02:15 Weather for the Week Ahead02:20 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 Rip Off Britain11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Saints and Scroungers12:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 BBC Regional News andWeather14:45 Doctors15:15 Perfection16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 A Taste of Britain17:30 Antiques Road Trip18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 Weather19:30 BBC London News20:00 The One Show20:30 BBC News; Regional News20:30 Inside Out21:00 EastEnders21:30 Panorama22:00 New Tricks23:00 BBC News23:30 BBC Regional News andWeather23:40 Boomers

00:30 Peaky Blinders01:25 Don't Worry about Me02:45 Countryfile03:40 Holby City04:40 This Is BBC Two

07:05 Homes Under the Hammer08:05 Street Patrol UK08:50 Caught Red Handed09:20 Animal Saints and Sinners10:05 Russia's Lost Princesses11:05 Animal SOS11:35 Click12:00 BBC News12:30 Daily Politics14:00 Fred Dibnah's World ofSteam, Steel and Stone14:30 Celebrity MasterChef15:15 Ready Steady Cook16:00 The Life of Mammals17:00 Great British RailwayJourneys17:30 Pressure Pad18:15 Flog It!19:00 Two Tribes19:30 Eggheads20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip21:00 University Challenge21:30 Only Connect22:00 Traders: Millions by theMinute23:00 The Sarah Millican TelevisionProgramme23:30 Weather

DERREN BROWN:INFAMOUS

The Baftawinning illusionist's sellout stage showrecorded at the Grand Theatre in Leeds during hisOliviernominated tour. The evening features aninventive mix of traditional magic, mindreading,memory games and thoughtprovoking entertainmentthat leaves his audience enthralled and enlightened inequal measure.

37

00:10 Through the Keyhole01:10 The Undriveables01:40 Jackpot24703:30 State of Play05:35 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Good Morning Britain09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV Meridian Weather15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Emmerdale20:30 Tonight21:00 Emmerdale21:30 Paul O'Grady: For the Loveof Dogs22:00 Chasing Shadows23:00 ITV News at Ten andWeather23:30 ITV Meridian Weather23:40 Sunday Night at thePalladium

00:00 999: What's YourEmergency?01:00 Four to the Floor01:30 Adam & Paul03:00 The Lady Vanishes04:40 Sarah Beeny's SellingHouses05:40 Simply Italian06:05 Deal or No Deal07:00 Countdown07:45 Will & Grace08:10 The King of Queens09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond10:00 Frasier11:30 Undercover Boss Canada12:30 Four in a Bed13:00 Channel 4 News Summary13:05 Four in a Bed15:10 Phil: Secret Agent DownUnder16:10 Countdown17:00 Deal or No Deal18:00 Come Dine with Me19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News21:00 Location, Location, Location22:00 Educating the East End23:00 Ramsay's KitchenNightmares

00:00 Age Gap Love01:00 NCIS01:45 True Crimes: The First 72Hours02:10 SuperCasino04:10 Once Upon a Time05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge05:20 HouseBusters05:45 House Doctor07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:20 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:55 Pip Ahoy!08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Little Princess09:15 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:10 Cowboy Builders13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 Storage: Flog the Lot!14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS16:15 Killer Instinct18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 5 News Tonight20:00 The Gadget Show21:00 Criminals: Caught onCamera22:00 Never Teach Your Wife toDrive23:00 Dallas

00:25 Mad City02:10 Weather for the Week Ahead02:15 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 Rip Off Britain11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Saints and Scroungers12:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 BBC Regional News andWeather14:45 Doctors15:15 Perfection16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 A Taste of Britain17:30 Antiques Road Trip18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 Weather19:30 BBC London News19:55 Party Political Broadcast20:00 The One Show21:00 The Great British Bake Off22:00 Our Zoo23:00 BBC News23:25 National Lottery Update23:25 BBC Regional News andWeather23:35 A Question of Sport

00:20 Today at Conference00:50 Hotel India01:50 The Two Amigos: A GauchoAdventure02:50 This Is BBC Two05:00 Around the World in 80

Faiths06:00 Schools Same but Different07:00 Homes Under the Hammer08:00 Saints and Scroungers08:45 Caught Red Handed09:15 Animal Saints and Sinners10:00 Coast11:00 Horizon12:00 BBC News12:30 BBC World News13:00 Daily Politics14:00 Lifeline14:10 Coast14:30 Celebrity MasterChef15:15 Ready Steady Cook16:00 The Life of Mammals17:00 Great British RailwayJourneys17:30 Pressure Pad18:15 Flog It!18:55 Party Political Broadcast19:00 Two Tribes19:30 Eggheads20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip21:00 Long Shadow22:00 This World23:00 The Great British Bake Off:An Extra Slice23:30 Weather

00:00 Educating the East End01:00 Poker01:55 Hard Knocks02:50 KOTV Boxing Weekly03:20 Great Scottish Swim04:15 Street Velodrome05:10 British GT Championship05:40 Trans World Sport06:35 Ironman 201407:00 Countdown07:45 Will & Grace08:10 The King of Queens09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond10:00 Frasier11:30 Undercover Boss Canada12:30 Four in a Bed13:00 Channel 4 News Summary13:05 Four in a Bed15:10 Phil: Secret Agent DownUnder16:10 Countdown17:00 Deal or No Deal18:00 Come Dine with Me19:00 The Simpsons19:30 Hollyoaks20:00 Channel 4 News21:00 Sarah Beeny's Double YourHouse for Half the Money22:00 Grand Designs23:00 The Men with Many Wives

00:00 Law & Order: Special VictimsUnit01:40 True Crimes: The First 72Hours02:05 SuperCasino04:10 Once Upon a Time05:00 Michaela's Wild Challenge05:20 HouseBusters05:45 House Doctor07:00 Bananas in Pyjamas07:10 Igam Ogam07:25 Fireman Sam07:35 The WotWots07:45 Peppa Pig07:55 Pip Ahoy!08:10 Ben and Holly's LittleKingdom08:20 The Mr Men Show08:35 Thomas & Friends08:50 Noddy in Toyland09:00 Little Princess09:15 Peppa Pig09:35 Toby's Travelling Circus09:50 Bananas in Pyjamas10:00 Tickety Toc10:15 The Wright Stuff12:15 Cowboy Builders13:10 5 News Lunchtime13:15 Britain's Craziest Commutes14:15 Home and Away14:45 Neighbours15:15 NCIS16:15 Defending Our Kids: the JuliePosey Story18:00 5 News at 518:30 Neighbours19:00 Home and Away19:30 5 News Tonight20:00 Police Interceptors21:00 The Nightmare NeighbourNext Door22:00 Can't Pay? We'll Take ItAway!23:00 Wentworth Prison

01:55 Jackpot24704:00 Loose Women04:45 ITV Nightscreen06:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show07:00 Good Morning Britain09:30 Lorraine10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show11:30 This Morning13:30 Loose Women14:30 ITV News and Weather14:55 ITV Meridian Weather15:00 Dickinson's Real Deal16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show16:59 ITV Meridian Weather17:00 Who's Doing the Dishes?18:00 The Chase19:00 ITV News Meridian19:30 ITV News and Weather20:00 Emmerdale20:30 Coronation Street21:00 Celebrity Squares22:00 Scott & Bailey23:00 ITV News at Ten and Weather23:30 ITV Meridian Weather23:40 On Assignment

WednesdaySeptember 24

ThursdaySeptember 25

00:05 The League Cup Show01:10 Weather for the Week Ahead01:15 BBC News07:00 Breakfast10:15 Rip Off Britain11:00 Homes Under the Hammer12:00 Saints and Scroungers12:45 Caught Red Handed13:15 Bargain Hunt14:00 BBC News; Weather14:30 BBC Regional News andWeather14:45 Doctors15:15 Perfection16:00 Escape to the Country16:45 A Taste of Britain17:30 Antiques Road Trip18:15 Pointless19:00 BBC News19:30 Weather20:00 The One Show20:30 BBC News; Regional News20:30 EastEnders21:00 Your Home in Their Hands22:00 Who Do You Think You Are?23:00 BBC News23:25 BBC Regional News andWeather23:35 Question Time

00:20 Today at Conference00:50 The Motorway: Life in theFast Lane01:50 Who Do You Think You Are?02:50 Doctor Who03:40 This Is BBC Two05:00 Poland Stories06:00 Schools In My Shoes Plus:Germany

06:20 Schools WilliamWhiskerson: Mountain06:30 Schools Virtually There:Germany07:05 Homes Under the Hammer08:05 Saints and Scroungers08:50 Caught Red Handed09:20 Animal Saints and Sinners10:05 Escape to the Continent10:35 Escape to the Continent11:05 Gardeners' World11:35 HARDtalk12:00 BBC News12:30 BBC World News13:00 Daily Politics14:00 Fred Dibnah's World ofSteam, Steel and Stone14:30 Major Champions15:30 Golf: The Ryder Cup17:00 Great British RailwayJourneys17:30 Pressure Pad18:15 Flog It!19:00 Two Tribes19:30 Eggheads20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip21:00 Jungle Atlantis22:00 Marvellous23:30 Weather

YOUR HOME INTHEIR HANDS

New series. There's no end of homeowners whowould happily hand over their houses to professional interior designers for a few days, as the success of shows such as 60 Minute Makeover attests.This new threeparter, though, comes with a twist:the socalled `experts' are but amateurs themselves.

THE MEN WITHMANY WIVES

Documentary exploring the world of polygamousmarriages among British Muslims. Permittedunder Sharia Law, it is estimated there are asmany as 20,000 relationships of this kind in theUK today. The programme examines the dailychallenges of polygamous life and the motivationof those who are looking for another wife, as wellas the issues of duty, love and betrayal in theseunconventional families.


Pro Business Support –for all your accountancyneeds in English; bookkeeping, taxes, wage slips andmore. We cater for companies and selfemployed people; we can deal with everything for you. Call us on 966923 963 for first consultationfree of charge.

Ref. DB6460L 85,000€Restaurant in enviable location with no local competition and regular clientele.This profitable, establishedleasehold restaurant has afully fitted modern kitchen,

disabled facilities and afresh recently painted interior. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81Ref. DB6435L 97,000€Large successfully runleasehold Beauty Salonnear Quesada. Spacioussalon with 7 rooms andrental income from separatehair salon. All fitnessmachines, treatment bedsand tables included in thesale. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 33 81Ref. DB6457L 42,000€Excellent opportunity to purchase a well establishedand thriving leaseholdBar/Cafeteria in a centrallocation in Torrevieja.Beautiful established gardenand south west facing terrace with BBQ and all year

round trade. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel 966 44 3381Ref. DB6456L 20,000€Lively, popular leaseholdBar & Restaurant in a lovelyposition on La Manga overlooking the port. Fully fittedkitchen and extensive sunnyterraces. Freehold alsoavailable for purchase andflat above the premises.directbusinessbrokers.comTel 966 44 33 81Ref. DB6455L 150,000€Profitable leasehold CaféBar, competitively priced forquick sale. Air conditionedinterior with stylish decorand large terraces. Multipleincome streams: food, drink,internet facilities, games andice cream. Offering greatpotential for further growth.directbusinessbrokers.comTel 966 44 33 81Ref. DB6446L 74,950€Beautifully presented leasehold Garden FurnitureBusiness, recently reducedin price. A successful andeasy to run business withestablished website, significant internet sales, cus

tomer database and excellent reputation locally. directbusinessbrokers.com Tel966 44 33 81

Casa Tom CommunityChoir: From 8 September2014, Casa Tom CommunityChoir meets every Mondayat 2.00pm for 2.30pm. It is amixed choir and all levelsare welcome. No auditions,no solos. Make new friendsand have a good time.Location: Casa Tom,Avenida JACA 31, San Luis,Torrevieja. Phone or emailTerry for details. Phone:647189135. Email:[email protected]

Torrevieja ChristianFellowship at Avenida de lasCortes Valencianas 68,Torrevieja 03183, welcomeresidents and visitors alike,to their friendly and lively10.30 am. Service eachSunday morning. Duringthe month of August they willnot be holding theWednesday night meeting at6.00 pm. For further information and/or directionsplease telephone966700391 or visit our website on www.tcfspain.org."International ChristianAssembly, Calle Pilar deHoradada 5, Torrevieja.Evangelical nondenominational church. Sunday services 11am. Children's

church 11am. House groupsin Torrevieja, Los Balcones,San Javier. Ladies meetingThursdays 11am. Craft club,Tuesdays, 2pm. Pastor,Rafael Restrepo. All nationalities welcome. Call 966799 273 or 660 127 276. Pilar Christian CommunityChurch Calle Canalejas 3.Pilar de la Horadada.Sunday Service at 11am,and Thursday at 5pm forPrayer and Praise andWorship. Home groupsmeet during the week. Allwelcome from any churchbackground or none. Forfurther information contactPilarChristian.CommunityCh u r c h @ g m a i l . c o m968575417 or 966848806.Reg No:2009SG/AThe Church of Jesus Christof Latter Day Saints(Mormons) meet at 10.00each Sunday at theirTorrevieja meetinghouse inthe Torreaguas building onthe corner of Rambla JuanMateo Garcia 104, close tothe windmill in Torrevieja,667 533 597.The rainbow centre for spiritual awareness We meet inthe function room at sacosbar el leiminar just of the CV905 Rojales to torrieviejaroad We have a divine service on Sundays at 11am and

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on Wednesdays we hold anevening of clairvoyance at7.30 pm Also onWednesdays there is anopen circle at 5.30 for thosewho are interested in clairvoyance Healing is alwaysavailable by certified healersafter each meeting A warmwelcome to friends old andnew The mediums for themonth of July 2014 areWednesdays 2nd DebbieBlevins 9th Belinda & Jill16th Trish and Shirley 23rdSammy Fitzsimons 30thPaul & jennet. Closed untilaugust 31st then Belinda &

Sandra. Sundays 6th Paul &jennet 13th Belinda Bradley20th ray bailey 27th Trish.For further information callTrish on 966 844 795 orEmail the rainbowcentre[email protected]

Car insurance quotes –new extra discount on fullycomprehensive policies atthe price of third party!Excellent prices for expats,all policies and call centrestaff in English. We will callyou back with a quote. 966923 963

CASER SEGUROS for allyour insurance needs,home, car, health, funeral.Policies available in Englishand German. CallProfessional BusinessSupport on 966 923 963 fora quick quote from ourfriendly staff.

Guitar lessons for beginnersand improvers. Provide aninsight into most styles.From 10€ per hour. CallPeter on 966789612 or629975378. Torrvieja

Viva Villa and VacationServices, For Short or LongTerm Rentals visit: www.villaandvacation.com or Call:965 707 188 or 626 397 397Santiago de la Ribera 2 bedroom townhouse close tobeach and shops with communal pool €350 monthlyshort or long term lease Call0044 7890996330 968570645 (162)Ref: 61, A lovely two bedroomed ground floor apartment, located in the centreof the small Spanish town ofLos Montesinos, With apleasant communal swimming pool adjacent & all

amenities in walking distance. Long and short termrental available. Call: 965707 188 or 626 397 397

WANTED! Properties, alltypes, in the Torrevieja areawanted for long term rentals.Call us on 96 692 39632 or 3 bed / 2 bath apartments in San Miguel. Lift,communal rooftop pool &solarium, video entry system. Available for short orlong term rent from 350pcm. Tel 966723437 or 616493 487. (184)

BPP1808 230,000€ 3BEDROOM DETACHEDHOUSE FOR SALE in LOSMONTISINOS, ALICANTE,SPAIN TEL: 966443381BPP1804 3 bedroomdetached villa a spaciousfamily Villa Torrevieja For

Sale fully furnished240,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2896 Old style spanish4 bedroom detached MonteZenia property reasonablypriced 175,000€ Tel: 966 4433 81BPP2897 3 BEDROOMSEMIDETACHED HOUSEFOR SALE Aguas Nuevas193,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81BPP2898 2 BEDROOMBUNGALOW FOR SALEAguas Nuevas 125,000€Tel: 966 44 33 81 BPP2901 2 Bedroom apartment Aguas Nuevas73,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81

BPP2906 Large 3 BEDROOM BUNGALOW FORSALE Aguas Nuevas135,000€ Tel: 966 44 33 81BPP 2907 Exceptional value2 BEDROOM APARTMENTFOR SALE €49,950 Tel: 96644 33 81BPP2908 Excellent location3 BEDROOM DETACHEDHOUSE FOR SALEVillamartin €269,000 Tel:966 44 33 81BPP2903 Huge Executive 3BEDROOM APARTMENTFOR SALE Los Montesinos€165,000 Tel: 966 44 33 81


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BPP2899 2 BEDROOMBUNGALOW FOR SALETorrevieja 59,000€ Tel: 96644 33 81Del Este, Santa Pola 4bedroom Duplex within aSecure Small PrivateCommunity. It has an integral large garage with sink,washing machine, largestorage area. Independentlarge bedroom and full bathroom. American stylekitchen, three bathroomsand cloakroom, front andback terraces, large solarium with bbq and shower,well maintained with a/c,ceiling fans. Communal Pooland third line from thebeach. Sold with all whitegoods and furnished for210,000 euros. 699613155Ref: KP3100, €183,000.Three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa, locatedin San Luis, on a 450sqmplot, with communal pool.Garage to side of house.Call: 965 707 188 or 626397 397Immaculate ground floorDuplex, 2 beds, 2 bath,Private Parking, Situated inNovamar, Gran Alacant.Price includes very tastefulfurniture and white goods.Walking distance to all localamenities and beach. Nowonly 129,750 euros. Ref NoK24. 627 711 1552 Bed, 1 Bath Ground floorduplex. Central heating,Grills, Fully furnished,Glazed in Galleria, 2 communal pools, private parkingand walking distance to theGran Alacant commercialcentre. Situated in the popular urbanisation of PuertoMarino. Now only 96,500euros for quick sale Ref No.K46. 627 711 155Recently reduced 4 Bed, 3Bath Villa, in Gran Alacant.Quiet Location, ExceptionalViews. Converted Underbuild, 2 Lounges, 2Kitchens, Private Garageand being sold FullyFurnished, now only239.950 Ref: L81 Tel.680333242Gran Alacant Detached villa,

located in a very soughtafter location.Situated on a560m2 S/W facing plot andconstructed in 2005.Comprising of 3 bedrooms,3 bathrooms (2 full baths),LoungeDiner, fullyequipped Kitchen, Porchand Solarium with Alicante &Sea Views. ref.L81.€258,000 neg. Tel.680333242Gran Alacant Town Housewith a difference. 2Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,Glazed in Porch, QuietLocation, Extra storageareas, and South FacingPrivate Pool as well as 2communal pools. FullyFurnished, All mod cons.Greenland Views and alllocal amenities close by.Ref. No L79. 179.000 euros680 333 2422 Bedroom, 2 Bathroom,Unfurnished Mid TerracedTownhouse in GA. Recentlydecorated throughoutmeans this property is avery clean black canvass.Has AirCon & SecurityGrills and the use of aCommunal Pool. Pricerecently reduced to110.000e Ref.K12 Tel.627711155 Reduced for a quick sale to95.000 e 2 Bedroom, 1 bathroom, Top Floor Duplex inGran Alacant. Very ModernProperty with Many extras.Glazed in Porch, Roof TopSolarium, Wooden Flooring.Immaculate condition andready to move in. Ref. K15Tel. 627711155.Gran Alacant, Situated inthe "Alto" part of GranAlacant, this 3 bedroomed,4th floor apartment, offersluxury accommodation, withabsolutely stunning seaviews, as well as views ofAlicante bay and the famousSanta Barbara Castle.Theapartment is 89 squaremeters with open plankitchen / living room andincludes all electrical appliances & furniture also thereis a utility room, open terrace, and private parking.The urbanisation also offers

many communal pools, tennis courts, restaurants andbars. Ref. K20 €109,000 Tel680333242Viva Villa and VacationServices are pleased to offerproperty sales for theTorrevieja and Oriheulaareas of the Costa Blanca,Spain. Call: 965 707 188 or626 397 397 or Visit :www.villaandvacation.comGran Alacant villa located ina very quiet area , situatedat the end of a culdesacmeans there is no throughtraffic.3 bed, 3 bath, 330m2plot, established large gardens, working fireplace,solar panel for hot water,private parking, south facinggreat views, fully furnished,fantastic opportunity. ref.L85. €215,000 Tel680333242Beach front Line property,over looks CarabassiBeach, Gran Alacant. 2Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,Secure UndergroundParking, Fully furnished,Roof Top Solarium. 3 LargeCommunal Pools, Fantasticcommunal Gardens, TennisCourts and much more.125.000 Euros Ref No. K23.Tel. 627 711 155Lovely clean detached Villajust as you enter GranAlacant. Very central location, 3 Bedrooms, 3Bathrooms, Glazed in

Porch, Garden Shed,Private Parking, AttractiveGardens, Private pool Ref:K59 240.000e Tel.627711155Offers Invited on a midTerraced Town house inGran Alacant. Comprising of3 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms,Lounge Diner, Galleria,Solarium, Under build.Communal Pool andGardens, and withExceptional Views ofAlicante. Being Sold FullyFurnished including WhiteGoods. Ref. K42 Tel.627711155 (reasonableoffers only)Gran Alacant, Situated onthe very first urbanisation asyou enter Gran Alacant, this2nd floor duplex offers tasteand quality. Comprising of 2bedrooms, 1 bathroom,loungediner, independentkitchen, full rooftop solarium with superb views andrecently glazed in porchoffering extra living area aswell as extra privacy as theglass is mirrored. Ref.K44€108,000 Tel 680333242Gran Alacant southfacing,very private villa, with woodland and Alicante views.Situated at the end of asmall culdesac whichmeans this villa enjoys avery peaceful location.3Bedrooms with fittedwardrobes, 3 Bathrooms,

loungediner with workingfireplace, fully fitted kitchenwith including white goods,large front porch,solarium,workshop and storage in under build, centralheating, air con H/C, ceilingfans, grills, UK T.V, off roadparking and plenty of outside parking also. Due to itsorientation of this propertyenjoys full sun, all day,something very important inthe winter months. Ref.K24.€237,000 Tel 680333242

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call 644 126 600 or emailinfo@radicocostainternational.comWANTED. English speakingmother's help aged 3040,with driving licence, to help7 year old boy with homework, and look after him.Work hours will be 4 hours aday, Monday to Friday. Ownroom with bathroom provided, in a house with a pooland garden, in Alcayna,Murcia. Pay will be 125euros a week. If you have ayoung child this will not be aproblem. Phone 607 43 3943 or email:[email protected] FITTER WANTEDExperienced part time carpet fitter wanted for theexpanding and successfulCarpet Heaven in LosMontesinos. Must be hardWorking, smart & friendly,with first class customer facing skills. A clean drivinglicense, your own transport& tools are essential. Pleasesend CV with references [email protected] call us on 966720782 formore informationBUSY HAIR & BEAUTYSALON IN THE PLAYA FLAMENCA AREA REQUIRESA PARTTIME FULLYQUALIFED BEAUTICIANTO JOIN THEIR FRIENDLY& PROFESSIONAL TEAM.TEL: 648111779 FORDETAILS.Fully qualified confidentfriendly hair stylist with atleast 5 years experienceneeded for immediate startin a well established salon inthe Orihuela Costa area.Full time + part time workavailable. Please call Roxieon 635 071 879

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This time next week wewill be into the best teamgame in golf, the RyderCup. Now we know theplayers and captains,what about taking a lookat some of the key factorsthat will help Europeretain the famous trophy?.Paul McGinley will summonthe spirit of Sam Torrance togive Europe a winning edgeat Gleneagles, and theEuropean captain draws onwhat 2002 skipper told himbefore he sank the winningputt to help him build a winning atmosphere in the teamroom. The Irishman hasalways prided himself onbeing a member of thatexclusive set of players forwhom the camaraderie ofthe Ryder Cup brings outtheir best. Reading the passion with which he recallsthe moment when sank the10foot putt to win the matchat the Belfry in 2002, youcan see why. McGinley’s recollections ofone of the great moments ofhis distinguished career alsoprovide a telling insight intohow the 47yearoldDubliner intends to fashionhis own captaincy of theEuropean team atGleneagles next week. Hesays that he felt no trace ofrookie’s nerves when hestood over the putt to earnthe decisive half with JimFuryk, the American who atthe time was ranked 11th inthe world, 89 places aboveMcGinley. But, he lets youknow, the seeds to the rocksolid mindset by SamTorrance, the European captain, 24 hours earlier on thesame green when, playingwith Darren Clarke againstFuryk and Scott Hoch,McGinley hit one of thesweetest four irons of hiscareer to salvage a half inthe Saturday afternoon fourballs. It was the reaction ofTorrance to his rookie’smoment of brilliance that

would have such a criticalimpact the following day aswell as a major influence onMcGinley’s view on the artof captaincy 12 years later.What Sam said to him afterwards, when he hit that fouriron, really set me up well forthe following day,” McGinleysaid. His manmanagementof McGinley was instrumental in his psychological buildup to holing the winning puttthe next day. What SamTorrance said was: ‘You andDarren were the last menstanding on the golf courseand came along on the lasthole and you hit one of thebest shots you will ever hitinto that green. You areready for the singles in theRyder Cup. The blocks werein place. He knew his players really well and he knewhow to tick each person’sbox.”Despite the fact thatMcGinley’s form had beenpatchy going into the tournament, Torrance backed uphis words by selecting theIrishman for the ninth matchon the final day on thegrounds that he had provenhe could handle a potentialcup decider. “Sam felt thatgiving me a sense ofresponsibility was what hefelt he needed to do to me,”

said McGinley, who will nowhave the support of Torrance12 years on as one of hisvicecaptains this week. As McGinley got to the 18thgreen on Sunday with thematch all square, Sam waswaiting for me as I got to thebridge. He walked across tohim and as the crowd wascheering, he whispered inhis ear: ‘This is why you arenumber nine, this is why youare playing in this position.’ McGinley’s preference forteam sports can be tracedback his roots as a promising Gaelic footballer whohad been destined to represent Dublin before a fractured patella brought hiscareer to a premature end atthe age of 19. At the time,golf was just something hedid for “two months in thesummer” which was reflected in his handicap of eight.That six years later he hadmade his debut on theEuropean Tour as a professional reflected not just hisinnate sporting talent butalso his determination. However, while he went onto claim four titles on theEuropean Tour, including theVolvo Masters in 2005, hewas never able to shake hisgreater thrill of the teamenvironment. He made threeRyder Cup appearances –which all ended in victory –in 2002, 2004 and 2006,

and he was vicecaptain forEurope’s wins in 2010 atCeltic Manorand 2012 atMedinah. Healso represented Ireland 13times in the WorldCup, famously winning the title withPadraig Harringtonat Kiawah Island in1997. Even more than as anindividual, even whenwinning the VolvoMasters, he can stillthink of the Ryder Cupmatches where he wason a real high playing aspart of the team. For somereason, his record isextremely strong andit was becausehe more feltcomfortablewith thats h a r e dsense of

responsibility with the otherplayers, it gave a particularfreedom to play well. Hisburning ambition now is toensure his 12man team areable to play with the samefreedom against anAmerican side he describesas the powerhouse of worldgolf and who are captainedby one of his childhoodheroes in Tom Watson. The notion that McGinleywill go into the tournamentas Europe’s bestpreparedcaptain is underscored bythe fact that he has alreadyvisited the Scottish coursemore than 25 times since hisappointment two years ago.His meetings have rangedfrom which photographsshould go up in the teamroom to the course layout,which he wants to be closeto that of a European Tourevent to make his playersfeel as comfortable as pos

sible. The emergence ofsuch big hitters in theEuropean side as RoryMcIlroy means the dayswhen European captainsopted for narrow fairways tokeep the longdrivingAmericans in check appearto be over. McGinley also began communicating with players hefelt had a chance to makethe team a few years ago ona weekly basis so that by thetime the 12 assemble inGleneagles next week,everyone will be “welladvanced” in his psyche.The emphasis will be on creating the kind of bond thathe experienced back in2002 under Torrance’s leadership. “If Pierre Fulke orPhillip Price, who were bothin the team in 2002, walkedinto this room right now,immediately I would have astrong feeling of kinship andbonding, as well a smile onmy face, when I saw them,”McGinley said.He attributes that to SamTorrance and the atmosphere he created in thatteam room and if McGinleycan create the same bonding for the players then Ithink that will be the extraspecial element needed towin. We all want the resultand we all want to win, andthat extra bonding is what

makes a Ryder Cupso special.

BRING ITON

Greenside GossipIVIE DAVIES takes a weekly look at the golf scene - [email protected]

My wife asked me why I don't play golf with Jack anymore. I asked her: "Would you continue to play with aguy who always gets drunk, loses so many balls, othergroups are always playing through, tells lousy jokeswhile you are trying to putt and generally offends everyone around him on the course?" "Certainly not, dear" she replied."Well, neither would he."


TITTER ON THE TEE

McGINLEY’S A WINNER

KNOW YOUR RULESQUESTIONCan a player declare his ball unplayable anytime he wantswith a penalty, whenever he wants?. ANSWERYes. A player may deem his ball unplayable for a penalty ofone stroke at any place on the course, except when the ballis in a water hazard. The player is the sole judge as towhether his ball is unplayable (Rule 28).An interesting, if unusual example of this Rule, is that if aplayer hits a downhill putt too hard and his ball misses thehole and rolls off the putting green into a bunker, he can pickhis ball out of the bunker and replace it on the green at thepoint that he last putted from. Obviously he incurs a penaltyof one stroke for doing so.


A goal and assist from Jonathas de Jesusgave Elche their first win of the PrimeraDivision season last Sunday lunchtime asFran Escriba's side saw off Rayo Vallecano32. The visitors took the lead towards theend of the first half thanks to a stunning freekick from captain Edu Albacar (pictured celebrating) but Paco Jemez's side pulled levelright before the break through an impressiveeffort from Chelsea loanee Gael Kakuta.However, a superb solo goal from Jonathasrestored Elche's lead and then the scorerturned provider to allow Pedro Mosquera toextend Elche's advantage, which was just aswell for the visitors as Alberto Bueno converted a penalty in stoppage time.

Reacting to the match, Fran Escriba said:“I’m very satisfied and in general, I believethis is a deserved victory. The intensity andunity we’ve shown is as it should be. Thesethree points are very important, but we’rewell aware that it doesn’t end here. There’s35 more important efforts to go yet.”

Elche are at home to La Liga newboys,Eibar, this evening (Friday September 19th)before a trip to the out of form, Real Madridon Tuesday night.

ELCHE VICTORIOUSRAYO VALLECANO 2 ELCHE 3

Atletico Madrid took all Real Madrid hadto throw at them in last Saturday’s localderby as the La Liga holders triumphed 21at the Bernabeu. Last season's surprisechampions weathered a firsthalf storm afterCristiano Ronaldo's penalty cancelled outTiago's opener (pictured), and their resolvewas worth it as they won it in the 76thminute. Substitute Arda Turan got their win

ner, but all their players were heroes asbudgets were again made a mockery of asDiego Simeone's men won across the cityfor the second time in two seasons.Atletico’s success comes after they won theSpanish Super Cup against the Europeanchampions earlier this month. Real areaway to Deportivo tomorrow afternoon(Saturday).

CHAMPIONS PREVIALREAL MADRID 1 ATLETICO MADRID 2

Two stunning pieces of skill by LionelMessi and two languid finishes fromNeymar saw Barcelona beat AthleticBilbao 20 to stay top of the PrimeraDivision. Bilbao had produced a disciplined performance at the Nou Camplast Saturday and looked to be headingfor a point until a moment of brilliancefrom Messi released Neymar, whobroke the deadlock with nine minutesremaining. The Argentinian andBrazilian then combined again for thesecond goal, Messi cutting the ball backfor his teammate to strike low into thebottom corner and deliver the final blowto Athletic. Barcelona’s next leaguegame sees them away to Levante thisSunday.

STARS DELIVERBARCELONA 2 ATHLETIC BILBAO 0

Gareth Bale starred as holders RealMadrid thrashed Swiss side Basel to beginthe defence of their Champions Leaguetitle in impressive style in their first groupgame on Tuesday night. After a MarekSuchy own goal had put Real ahead,

Wales winger Bale (pictured) smartlylobbed the keeper before finishing. Bale setup Cristiano Ronaldo to tap in, JamesRodriguez hit a fourth and Karim Benzemaswept in a late fifth. Derlis Gonzalez scoredfor Basel.

REAL EASYREAL MADRID 5 FC BASEL 1

Torrevieja sit one point off the relegationplaces after five matches, three of whichhave been at home. One win, two draws andthen consecutive losses have put them inthis position, but they were somewhatunlucky against Torre Levante last Sunday.

Torry dominated this match, despite conceding the first goal and having to chase thegame constantly. They went behind in the12th minute when Berna failed to cope withhis winger who foxed him and made it to thebye line. His cross went far side to left wingerCarmona and Vicente failed to stop him getting in the telling cross which was convertedby Jose, against the run of play.

Torry created chances, but failed to makethem count. Cesar had replaced the injuredSergi on the half hour, and one minute intothe second period he had Torry level.Carrasco eased the ball through to him andthen from ten yards out, struck it into the corner of the net. Torry assumed control of thegame again and pressed for the winner, butTorre Levante had few chances but took thelead through a 25 yard deflected shot.Despite a lot of huff and puff, the home sidecould not equalise, and that was it. Torrytravel to Villarreal this weekend, with Jorgeand Steve Ekedi returning from suspensionfor a midday kick off this Sunday..

TORRY IN TROUBLECD TORREVIEJA 1 TORRE LEVANTE 2

Barcelona made a winning start to theirChampions League campaign onWednesday night as they edged past ApoelNicosia at the Nou Camp. Gerard Pique's28th minute header from Lionel Messi's

inswinging freekick was enough to beat thechampions of Cyprus. Apoel keeper UrkoPardo made two fine saves to deny Messi onturned out to be a frustrating night for thehosts.

BARCA STRUGGLEBARCELONA 1 APOEL NICOSIA 0

My old boss used to say: ‘Plan your work, and workyour plan…’. While our nation – and every other country– was glued to the World Cup, one club manager was ongardening leave, busily doing his close season pruningand preparing in order to get ready early for the newyear. In his allotment, the dying wood and witheringleaves had to be chopped out, discarded – andreplaced.

After diligent shopping around, new seedlings that hadbeen rigorously assessed were bought from establishednurseries, and then his newplants began to be blendedwith the old so everything in his gardenwas rosy to beginthe new season…

This is JoseMourinho’s second season backat StamfordBridge, and what atimely lesson thePortuguese hasdelivered to thec o m p e t i t i o n .Despite the globalpower and abundance of money atcurrent PremierLeague championsMan City, thereturned Red rashexcitement at revitalised Liverpool, thetwin–butturbulentNorth London duoof Arsenala n d

Spurs and various ‘other’wealthy and ambitious clubs,it would appear that the teamto beat this year will beChelsea.

From the ‘class’ of 2013/4,the superior spine of the teamhas been retained:Azpilicueta, Ivanovic, Cahill,Terry, Oscar, Hazard,Ramires and Willian havebeen enriched by the additionof Courtois, Fabregas, Matic,Filipe Luis, Remy, even Didier

Drogba’s spookily back…and Diego Costa. The firstfive, led by CescFabregas are all highclass, experienced players who would walk intoany side and now addedto last year’s retainees make Chelsea a force to be reckoned with in the colossal struggle that is the PremierLeague. But £32m Diego Costa, fresh from helping

Spanish Champions Atletico to wrest the prestigious LaLiga title from Barcelona and hated rivals Real Madridlooks to be the deal of the year, the icing on the cake amaster stroke from maestro Mourinho with perfect timing.No luck here, this was preplanning at its very best.

Costa displays that special Drogba mantle: a big, tough,hardworking striker with speed, skill, guts, timing and that

extraspecial knack of being in the right place at the righttime that all the great goalscor

ers possess. The mandoesn’t look particularly

fast, but he is, he canscore with either foot andis lethally strong in theair. Like Drogba, Costais a nightmare to playagainst, and his 27goals that helpedAtletico to unexpected victory in Spainlast year tell theirown story. ThisB r a z i l i a n t u r n e dSpaniard is special and the ‘Special One’himself, JoseMourinho knows it.

In a sensationalstart to this season,

Diego has already scored seven goals in four games. Poorunbeaten Swansea had a Costa hattrick imposed on themon Saturday to bring them back down to earth, the poorSwans even having the extra torment of seeing Costareplaced by Loic Remy, who immediately scored Chelsea’sfourth. With 20 minutes to go Diego departed to a heartwarming standing ovation from rightlyecstatic Blues fans.The great Fernando Torres took 43 games to score sevengoals, a commodity Chelsea suffered a lack of last yearwith Eto, Demba Ba and Torres miserably underachievingwith 19 altogether, Chelsea’s goals last year supplemented by midfielders like Eden Hazard and Oscar.

Surprisingly though, Chelsea have also conceded sevenin five games, three in that fantastic match againstEverton, and only one clean sheet. John Terry’s early owngoal on Saturday didn’t help, plus a late consolation fromShelvey reveals a certain defensive vulnerability. OnWednesday in Europe, the Blues were pegged back todraw with Schalke after leading. So Chelsea are not invincible at the moment, but as long as their lethal attack is firing on all four, then Chelsea are clearly the team to beatthis year. Already mighty Man City have wavered, dropping five points behind the West Londoners, although thatalso happened last year and City recovered to win theleague (again).

Showdown: it really is Super Sunday this weekend asthe biggest battle of the Blues sees maximum pointsChelsea go to the Etihad to take on the champions, ManCity. It’s one of the matches of the season – don’t miss it.If Chelsea win, they’ll take some stopping. In 2004/5 theBlues won the Premier League by 12 points with a record95 points – déjà vu?

Prizes have been doledout for the SailingAssociation Mar Menor’sSpring 2014 HandicapSeries. The crews varythroughout the series andthe photo shows from left toright Vernon O’Byrne(Shoestring Tres), JulianPerring (Mistral) and TugWilson (Hartley 12.2), whocollected the trophies onbehalf of everybody whocontributed to each boat’sscore.

The Autumn Series hasnow started and races takeplace from the CTD InfantaChristina sports centre on

the beach at Los Najeros,starting at 10am on alternateSundays which include this

Sunday September 21st.Guests are more than welcome.


SHOW WAY, JOSE!Portuguese Plots and Plans his Costa de Class.

POINTS MEAN PRIZESAlberto Contador sealed victory in the

Vuelta a Espana with a solid performance in the closing time trial stage inSantiago de Compostela. In wet conditions on Sunday he lost 27 seconds toBriton Chris Froome, but it was enoughfor the Spaniard to take his third Vueltatitle, finishing one minute and 10 seconds ahead of the Team Sky rider overall.

"It's a dream for me to win threeVueltas," said 31yearold Contador. "Ireally was not expecting it."

It was an amazing recovery by thecyclist, who broke his leg less than twomonths ago in a crash that forced himout of the Tour de France.“ I have had alot of ups and downs and the support ofthe fans has been crucial," added theSpaniard.

CONTADOR CONQUERS

Polished Diamond Geezers Sink Quite Poor Rangers…MANNA FOR MAN U!


I don’t want to be a killjoy, honest,pal but playing Harry’s haplessHoops last Sunday was heavensent manna for Man United at atime of great crisis. The currentineptitude of Queens Park Rangerswas duly and gratefully exposedby more than £150m of home football talent on view at the nowsleepingbetter Theatre of Dreams.Factfile: if you take out QuicklyPursuing Relegation’s only goalscored this season, the one thatbeat fellowstrugglers Sunderland,

then it’s three losses, no goals for, nine conceded androck bottom position if not for the three points clawedfrom the Black Cats. Throw in a catastrophic Capital One defeat at Burton(?)and Redknapp’s Rangers are in dire trouble, witnessedwincingly on Sunday. Stupid Loftus Road question:why sell fifteengoalsguaranteedaseason strikerLoic Remy, the classy Frenchman who scored hiscountry’s only goal to beat Spain last week? Afterfarming him out on loan to Newcastle last seasonwhere Remy continued to score goals, Chelsea, of allthe teams who don’t need him, snapped up this naturalgoal scorer as a reserve. Coming off the Blue Bridgebench against Swansea last Saturday Remy immediately scored so why isn’t he doing that for you then,Harry? Summary: QPR = QED (Quite Easily Defeated…)In the newlycomplicated jigsaw at Old Trafford, opening scorer Angel di Maria appeared to look the missinglink, where the trendy ‘diamond’ formation flashily andexpensively produced the goods and the goals – but

there are still precious problems prevailing at eitherend. Robin van Persie seems a shadow of the man whoscored that sensational header for Holland in Brazil,and sluggish sub Falcao looks like he’s going to needtime is he over the bad injury that kept him out of theWorld Cup? Rumouredtobeunwanted £32m Matashone in the diamond mix on Sunday as the Spaniardcelebrated with the solitary second half goal. TheReds’ defence? Hmm… United came perilously closeto conceding following a couple of defensive clangers,but on the Lord’s Day there were Angels looking afterthem: bless…Come Sunday, we’ll see how the new United fare atlively Leicester. Like QPR, the East Midlanders are alsonewlypromoted, but went up as worthy championsand are already going well. Foxes fans were ecstatic onSaturday following their first Premier win, 1 – 0 againstStoke and guess who scored? Yes, that manLeonardo Ulloa again what a hit the Argentinian’sproving to be for Nigel’s Pearson’s pleasers…Some game at the Emirates, it finished 2 – 2. Arsenalwere stunned by Man City in the first half from a lightningstrike finished off by that mean man SergioAguero (as usual), supplied by the fleetfooted flyingfeet of Jesus Navas. Back stormed the Gunners to lead2 1 with brilliant strikes by firstly Smokin’ JackWilshere and then a superb volley from AlexisSanchez. Just when it looked like Arsenal would hangon to win it, neversaydie City hit back with a MartinDemichelis header from a corner. City were finallybeaten on Wednesday though, 1 0 away to BayernMunich. On Tuesday, the Gunners also went down dismally 2 – 0 at Borussia Dortmund, not a goodEuropean start and look what’s happening in NorthBirmingham tomorrow.

Secondplaced (!) Aston Villa’s next four matches areArsenal, Chelsea, Man City and Everton – doddle, eh?Well, last Saturday Liverpool proved no problems,Gabby Agbonlahor putting the highflying Villainsahead early, the Brummies then holding out resolutelyto thwart a disappointing SturridgeandSterlinglessReds attack. On Tuesday, celebrating their return toEurope, Liverpool scraped an injurytime 2 – 1 winagainst Ludogorets, courtesy of a Stephen Gerrardpenalty, this after Mario Balotelli had scored his firstLiverpool game, but the Bulgarians deservedly equalising on the stroke of fulltime. The latest test of theSuarezsubbed Reds’ aspirations will be at West Hamon Saturday… and as for dizzilysecondplaced Villa,who knows? If they get results against Arsenal and theother biggies a la Liverpool, they’ll have deserved ‘em.Alright, I take it all back. Ronald Koeman for Pope asthe (new) Saints have marched in up the table to fourth.No, wait that latest 4 – 0 win was against neurotic,nervy Newcastle, now with Pardew getting the dreadedboss’s endorsement except it’s from the hugelyunpopular, headbanging Mike Ashley. Anyway, nuttyPardew’s untouchable isn’t he, with his unbelievableninetynine year contract. After drawing 2 – 2 with WestHam on Monday night, Hull CITY (NB Ashley, the Tigersunpopular Hull owner is selling the club) and their(Geordie…) boss Steve Bruce are coming to St JamesPark Saturday. Bet the Toon Army’d have him backwith open arms…Finally: third versus fourth? Swansea v Southamptonseems a tasty tie: that the two ‘unfashionable’ clubsare both up there in the top four is unbelievable. Surelythey can’t stay there?

JohnMcGregor

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Week 187

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