Wedding Information

The Church of the Ascensionand Saint Agnes

1217 Massachusetts Ave., NWWashington DC, 20005

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The Church of the Ascension and Saint Agnes

1217 Massachusetts Avenue, NorthwestWashington, D.C. 20005Phone: (202) 347-8161

Fax: (202) 347-8036ascensionandsaintagnes.org

Requirements for Marriage 4

Guidelines 6

Fees and Music 7

Clergy 7

Seating 8

Rehearsal and Reception 8

Photography 9

Old Testament Lections 9

Psalms 11

Epistle Lections 12

Gospel Lections 14

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10/08/04

INTRODUCTION

We are glad that you are considering celebrating your wedding at Ascension and Saint Agnes. Marriage is a universal institution that brings joy, comfort, and life. Christian marriage, however, does have distinctions in its understanding of the institution. Many of these Christian particularities we now take as the norm, e.g., the emphasis on permanent fidelity and monogamy. Perhaps the highest model the Bible gives us is that Christian marriage reflects the union that exists between Christ and his Church. Christian marriage is characterized by the sacrificial, merciful, and forgiving love of our Lord. In the moral, natural, and sacramental bond of marriage, husband and wife have an emotional, physical, and spiritual union with one another. This union brings forth life and manifests the love of God, and it gives us a taste of our ultimate union with God in heaven.

REQUIREMENTS FOR MARRIAGE

“The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner or life by his presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and his Church, and Holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people.

The Union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.”

1979 Book of Common Prayer, p. 423

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To celebrate the sacrament of Holy Matrimony at the Parish, each couple must adhere to the laws of the District of Columbia, the Canons of the Episcopal Church, and the customs and practices of this Parish. The Parish and her clergy take very seriously the priestly and canonical responsibilities of Holy Matrimony. We require proper preparation for marriage as well as the reverent, dignified, and joyful celebration. This booklet sets forth parish policy and custom to assist you in planning for this solemn occasion.

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REQUIREMENTS FOR MARRIAGE FOR BOTH PERSONS

1. At least one of the couple must be a baptized, practicing Christian and active at the Parish. In the Church, the marriage of a man and a woman is an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace; it signifies to the world “the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church.” So those who intend to be married in the Church must intend to have their married lives be in submission to God. A couple being married in the Church must intend to live with the help and guidance of God, under his obedience, and in the fellowship and grace of his Church.

2. The bride and bridegroom must sign the Declaration of Intention. In doing so, they signify their intention to uphold the sacrament of marriage in keeping with the teachings of the Church. Both persons must understand and agree with the following:We, N. and N., desiring to receive the blessing of Holy Matrimony in the Church, do solemnly declare that we hold marriage to be a lifelong union of husband and wife as it is set forth in the Book of Common Prayer.We believe that the union of husband and wife, in heart, body, and mind, is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord.And we do engage ourselves, so far as in us lies, to make our utmost effort to establish this relationship and to seek God’s help thereto.

3. The couple must have premarital counseling with a priest. The Church requires that “both parties have been instructed as to the nature, meaning, and purpose of Holy Matrimony.” At any time during the counseling, and at any time before the wedding, the priest may decline to solemnize the marriage.

4. Application for weddings should be made at least ninety (90) days in advance of the proposed wedding date.

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Advance notice is necessary to schedule counseling sessions and to make other arrangements. Weddings may not be scheduled on Sundays, on Christmas Eve, on Christmas Day, or in Lent. It is preferable that weddings not be scheduled during Advent.

5. All marriages will be in the church building or chapel and will be according to the rite of the Parish. At the discretion of the priest and the couple, the liturgy may include a mass.

6. The bride and bridegroom must not have a pre-nuptial agreement. God intends marriage to be life-long. In Christian marriage, husband and wife equally share and assume responsibility for property brought to the marriage. These fundamental principles of Christian marriage are not in harmony with a pre-nuptial agreement.

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REQUIREMENTS FOR PERSONS DIVORCED ONCE

Marriage is intended by God to be a life-long union. It is possible, however, for those who have been divorced to be married again in the Episcopal Church. In addition to the above requirements, the following conditions must be met:

1. A time of one (1) year from the date of the filing for petition of divorce or six (6) months after the date of the final divorce or annulment decree will have elapsed.

2. One or both persons seeking remarriage must have an ongoing Pastoral relationship with one of the parish clergy.

3. One of the persons must be baptized and a participating and supporting member of the Parish.

4. Obligations to the former spouse and/or children have been or are being fulfilled responsibly.

5. The intended spouse will not have been responsible for the break-up of the previous marriage.

6. The priest must seek permission from the Bishop for the marriage to take place. Certified copies of the final divorce or annulment decrees must accompany the application to the Bishop.

REQUIREMENTS FOR PERSONS DIVORCED TWICE

Extraordinary extenuating circumstances must apply for this even to be considered. With the support of one of the Parish clergy, application may be made to the Bishop for his rigorous review.

BLESSING OF CIVIL MARRIAGES

Persons who do not meet the requirements for marriage may be counseled to be married in a civil ceremony.

1. Those divorced once may request permission to have their marriage blessed after one year of marriage.

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2. Those divorced twice may request permission to have their marriage blessed after two years of marriage, providing:

Both persons have an ongoing pastoral relationship with the priest, and

Both persons are regular in attendance and are participating and supporting members of the Church.

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GUIDELINES FOR HOLY MATROMONY AT THE CHURCH OF THE ASCENSION

AND SAINT AGNES

All services performed by the parish clergy of the Church of the Ascension and Saint Agnes conform to the customary practice of the parish. This includes:1. The marriage rite used by the parish may not be

altered.2. The lections at the wedding must be from Holy

Scripture. The translation must be the Authorized Version (King James Version), except for the psalms, which come from the Psalter of the 1928 Book of Common Prayer.

3. If there is a homilist, he must be approved by the rector.

4. Hymns will be those in the 1940 or 1982 Hymnal or the English or New English Hymnal.

5. Flowers must not hinder the liturgy. Flowers may not be spread on the church floor.

6. Runners or other covers of the church floor are not permitted.

7. Candles will not be used except as is liturgically proper.

8. The parish does not have any microphones or amplified sound system. None may be used. Similarly, recorded music is prohibited.

9. The parish and her clergy retain the privilege of refusing at any time to administer or to officiate at any celebration of a sacrament.

10.There must be at least two (2) witnesses to your wedding.

11.Please inform your guests that no rice, bird seed or confetti is to be thrown on the church grounds.

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12.Any person in the wedding party who appears to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol will not be allowed to participate in the ceremony.

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FEES A ND M USIC

We suggest a minimum donation of $750 to the parish, apart from music fees. We understand that some parishioners lack the means to make such a contribution, and in these cases it is not expected. If additional clergy or altar servers are necessary, the parish may have greater expenses, and the wedding couple will be expected to cover them.The use of the parish’ church building for a wedding that does not involve the parish or the clergy may be arranged. In such cases, a minimum donation would be $750. The officiating clergy must be approved by the parish.

Organist: Organ music at the service will be played by the Parish Organist. In extremely rare instances, the Organist may approve use of a visiting organist with appropriate professional credentials. Nevertheless, the Parish Organist will still receive his stipend.

The fee of the Organist is $150 for parishioners of the Church of the Ascension and Saint Agnes and $250 for non-parishioners. The fee includes the service itself and one consultation on the music, either in person at the church, or by telephone. The organist does not attend the wedding rehearsal.

Choir or Vocalists: Vocal music, if any, will be sung by the professional singers who comprise the Parish Choir. Three options are possible: a soloist (in any of the voice ranges), a quartet or four singers, in general four men singing a chant mass setting, or full choir (defined as ten or more regular professional singers of the Church of the Ascension and Saint Agnes). These musicians must be booked through the Organist-Choirmaster. No outside singers may be engaged.

The fee for a solo singer is $100 for parishioners, $150 for non-parishioners. The quartet fee is $350 for parishioners, $500 for non-parishioners. The full choir fee is $1000 for parishioners and $1250 for non-parishioners. In addition, when the choir is booked, the

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Organist-Choirmaster’s fee is $250 for parishioners and $350 for non-parishioners. These fees include the services of organists as described above.

Instrumentalists: Any instrumental music, in addition to organ, must be booked through the organist. Visiting musicians are not permitted. A wide range of options is available, all of whom are outstanding professional orchestral musicians in the city, and are regular members of orchestras booked by the parish for special events. These include, but are not limited to, brass and strings. Fees will vary significantly depending on the instrumentation. Contact the organist for details.

Repertoire: Repertoire to be performed at weddings comes from the regular, though wide-ranging repertoire of the organist, the choir, and instrumentalists. It does reflect the high aesthetic standards for which the church is known. Organ music will be indigenous to the instrument. Arrangements of adaptations of popular music, “contemporary” music, and similar idioms are not permitted. Likewise choral repertoire will be drawn from the motet and anthem literature regularly sung at the church. Most importantly, the repertoire should fit the wedding liturgically and scripturally, and not simply reflect sentiment or preference. As such, popular arias, and movements from the literature out of context are rarely approved choices. The specific titles of works played and sung will be discussed with the organist at the initial consultation. The final decision on the appropriateness of repertoire rests with the rector and organist. Once decided, these tiles may not be changed.Payment of fees will be made in advance to the parish office. One-third of the total must be paid in advance at the time the date is reserved. The balance is due at least two weeks prior to the wedding ceremony.

M ARR IAGE L IC ENS E

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The couple is responsible for obtaining a marriage license from the District of Columbia. There can be no wedding without a valid marriage license.

SEATI NG

In order to help you decide whether to use the church or the chapel, please note that the comfortable seating capacity is as follows:Church: 350 Chapel: 18

WED DIN G R EHEA RSA L

A wedding rehearsal is normally scheduled one or two days before the wedding. All members of the wedding party should be present and on time. You must bring your marriage license to the rehearsal. Please be punctual. Musicians do not attend the rehearsal.

REC EP TION I N THE UN DER CR OF T

The undercroft may be available for a reception for a donation of $150. Contact the parish office to discuss plans and fees. Set-up and clean-up fees may also apply.

Champagne and wine may be served in moderation. Nonalcoholic options must be provided as well in an equally attractive and available way.

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P HOTOGRA PHY

The marriage ceremony is a sacred rite of worship. Photographers (and guests), therefore, may not use flash and must not be seen or heard during the ceremony. Photographers are not allowed in the nave or the sanctuary during the service. Photographs may sometimes be “staged” after the service.

SC RI PTUR E READ IN GS

The following passages from Holy Scripture elucidate the meaning of the sacrament of marriage. Please read the passages and select one from each section. You must choose a Gospel selection even if you choose to reduce the total number of readings to two (2).

You are encouraged to appoint one or more persons to read the lessons during the wedding. A member of the clergy should read the Gospel.

LEC TI ONS FROM THE OLD TESTAM EN T

THE LESSON FROM THE SONG OF SOLOMON (Solomon 2:10-13, 8:6-7)

My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the dove is heard in our land; the fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

THE LESSON FROM THE BOOK OF GENESIS (Genesis 1:26-28)

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In those days, God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

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A READING FROM THE BOOK OF GENESIS (Genesis 2:4-9, 15-24)

These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the LORD God made the earth and the heavens, And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground. But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground. And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed. And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good an devil. And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surly die. And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a

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man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

THE LESSON FROM THE BOOK OF TOBIT (Tobit 8:5b-8)

Then began Tobias to say, “Bless art thou, O God of our fathers, and blessed is thy holy and glorious name for ever; let the heavens bless thee, and all thy creatures. Thou madest Adam, and gavest him Eve his wife for an helper and stay: of them cam mankind: thou hast said, It is not good that man should be alone; let us make unto him an aid like unto himself. And now, O Lord, I take not this my sister for lush but uprightly: therefore mercifully ordain that we may become aged together.”

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P SAL MSPSALM 67

God be merciful unto us, and bless us,*and show us the light of his countenance, and be merciful unto us.

That thy way may be known upon earth,*thy saving health among all nations.

Let the peoples praise thee, O God,*yea, let all the peoples praise thee.

O let the nations be glad,*for thou shalt judge the folk righteously,and govern the nations upon earth.

Let the peoples praise you, O God;*let all the peoples praise you, O God.

The earth has brought forth her increase,*may God, our own God, give us his blessing.

May God give us his blessing,*and may all the ends of the earth stand in awe of him.

PSALM 127

Unless the Lord builds the house,*their labor is in vain who build it.

Unless the Lord watches over the city,*in vain the watchman keeps his vigil.

It is in vain that you rise so early and go to bed so late*vain too, to the bread of toil, for he gives to his beloved sheep.

Children are a heritage from the Lord,*and the fruit of the womb is a gift.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior*are the children of one’s youth.

Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them!*he shall not be put to shamewhen he contends with his enemies in the gate.

PSALM 128

Happy are they all who fear the Lord*and who follow in his ways!

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You shall eat the fruit of your labor;*happiness and prosperity shall be yours.

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine within your house,*your children like olive shoots round about your table.

The man who fears the Lord*shall thus indeed be blessed.

The Lord bless you from Zion,*and may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life.

May you live to see your children’s children;*may peace be upon Israel.

LEC TI ONS FROM THE EP IS TLES

THE LESSON FROM THE FIRST EPISTLE OF BLESSED PAUL THE APOSTLE TO THE CORINTHIANS (1 Corinthians: 13)

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then

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face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

THE LESSON FROM THE EPISTLE OF BLESSED PAUL THE APOSTLE TO THE EPHESIANS (Ephesians 3:14-19)

For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breath, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

THE LESSON FROM THE EPISTLE OF BLESSED PAUL THE APOSTLE TO THE COLOSSIANS (Colossians 3:12-17)

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

THE LESSON FROM THE EPISTLE OF BLESSED PAUL THE APOSTLE TO THE EPHESIANS (Ephesians 5:1-2, 21-33)

Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath

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given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savior.

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

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A LESSON FROM THE FIRST EPISTLE OF JOHN (1 John 4:7-16)

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. Herin is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Savior of the world. Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God. And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.

LEC TI ONS FROM THE HOLY GOSP EL

THE CONTINUATION OF THE HOLY GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MATTHEW (Matthew 5:1-10)

And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him. And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying:Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

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Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

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THE CONTINUATION OF THE HOLY GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MATTHEW (Matthew 5:13-16)

Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savior, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

THE CONTINUATION OF THE HOLY GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MATTHEW (Matthew 7:21, 24-29)

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

Therefore whosoever heareth these saying of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it. And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished at his doctrine: For he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.

THE CONTINUATION OF THE HOLY GOSPEL ACCORDING TO JOHN (John 15:9-12)

As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love. These things have

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I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

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THE CONTINUATION OF THE HOLY GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MARK (Mark 10:6-9, 13-16)

But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein. And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.

The Church of the Ascension and Saint Agnes1217 Massachusetts Avenue, Northwest

Washington, D.C. 20005Phone: (202) 347-8161

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Fax: (202) 347-8036ascensionandsaintagnes.org

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