Based on Unpacking Forgiveness by Chris Brauns

(NIV) Matthew 18.21-35 – 21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart

Matthew 18.21-35

When It's Hard to Unpack

unpacking FORGIVEness #5 [ 19 May 2023 10:18 AM ]

08.16.2015 – First UMC St. Cloud

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Introduction: Your Heart1. We are continuing with our seven week series Unpacking Forgiveness.

In our text for this morning, Matthew 18.21-35, Jesus responds to a question about forgiveness that has not changed in two thousand years. We read in Matthew 18.21 – 21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 “Therefore, The question might even be, "What if I cannot forgive or even what if I will not forgive?" The first question, "What if I cannot forgive?" assumes that there are some sins and wrongs that limit your need to forgive. The second question, "What if I will not forgive?," assumes that some sins and wrongs are beyond your forgiveness. Matthew 18.22 – 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. The answer is not to forgive 490 times (some of you are thinking, only 12 more to go) but Jesus uses this exaggeratedly large number to say that our offering someone forgiveness must be unlimited. Jesus then says in Matthew 18.23a – 23 “Therefore, which directly connects the parable or story he tells to our call to unlimited forgiveness. In this story Jesus draws a direct connection between our forgiveness of others and God's forgiveness of us. It is not an easy story.

1. Before we delve into this parable, I want us to review where we have been each week so that you and I can connect each message to an overall understanding of forgiveness.a. We began by acknowledging that to begin

unpacking forgiveness we need to "yoke" or connect our lives with Jesus in ways that allow us to learn day by day how God wants us to live.

b. Then, we said that unpacking forgiveness is defined by God's forgiveness made possible through the death of Jesus on the cross and is the place you and I will begin to learn from Jesus to forgive.

c. Last week, we reflected on what Jesus says about the urgency in unpacking forgiveness.

d. Last week in Matthew 18.15-24 we looked at the instructions Jesus gives us on how best to unpack forgiveness.

e. This week, in Matthew 18.21-35, we are going to consider where Jesus points us when it's hard to unpack forgiveness.

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2. You might recall we acknowledged that forgiveness reaches down deep into our emotions yet also requires that our minds fully grasp our experience of God's grace. When it's hard to unpack, Jesus wants to connect our heads (our understanding) to our hearts (our beliefs we live by). Not cute valentine day hears but that real heart that pumps life through our bodies.

The “Big Idea” – When it's hard to unpack, Jesus wants to connect our heads (our understanding) to our hearts (our beliefs we live by).

A. Heart Pounding Story To begin with, we need to listen to Jesus tell us this heart pounding story.1. Jesus meant this to be a heart pounding story. You and I have been cast

in the leading role of the servant who has incurred a great debt with the king. More to the point, the king wants us to pay back our debt. Based on what we know about the value of a talent (translated as a "bag of gold" in our reading), you and I own the king over two billion dollars. In this ancient time this amount would have seemed even more outrageous. For us, the amount is frightening. You and I know that there is

no way we can ever repay the king. The king does what is expected in this ancient culture, selling all that we have, even our families, in order to pay of the debt. You and I know the debt will never be satisfied, so there is no hope of ever being right with the king.a. The king has held up a mirror in which we see the depths of the debt

we owe. Our hearts should be pounding. We know this to be true, we are told in Romans 3.22b-23 − 22 ....There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God....

2. Then, maybe because we know that though a just king, the king is also merciful and forgiving. So we fall on our knees (knowing we do not desert this, after all we incurred the debt on our own) and we make the audacious (really foolish) plea that if we had some more time we could repay the debt. What a joke! Our hearts are pounding with fear. The debt we own the king is beyond our ability to ever pay back. Knowing this the king simply cancels, forgives, our debt. The king takes our debt and makes it his own. Just as the words in Romans 3.24-25 − ....24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that

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came by Christ Jesus. 25 God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith.

3. Our hearts are pounding, now with relief and joy and gratitude. Our hearts are humbled at the great debt we have been forgiven. Then we see the fellow servant who owes us a great debt. Roughly four thousand dollars. Nothing compared to our debt which the king forgave. Yet, our hearts again begin to pound, now with anger or resentment. Now, you and I want the rest of us to know that this is still a great debt that this other person owes us. For us this is huge and beyond the other person's ability to repay. So, despite the same plea we made to the king, we refuse to forgive the debt.

4. Some of you love the end Jesus gives to his story. The "wicked" servant gets what he deserves. Matthew 18.32-34 – 32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. The "wicked" servant gets what he or she deserves just the way things are meant to work out. All well and good except that in Jesus' story, you and I are the wicked servant. You and I are the ones who have failed to work toward forgiveness as a reflection of the forgiveness we have received. You and I have failed to let what we know of God's amazing forgiveness of our debt, of our sins, into our hearts. a. Jesus ends his story with a difficult word for us, Matthew 18.21-35 –

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

B. Heart of the Story At the heart of this story is the connection between God forgiving us of our sins and our forgiving others of their sins. 1. Here, so it seems on the surface, our failure to forgive undoes God’s

forgiveness. God takes back that which was given if we don’t give as God gives. God’s forgiveness is here conditional on our performance. Though we couldn’t earn God’s forgiveness, we could, so to speak, un-earn it. The key to God’s forgiveness of our sins would be placed into our own hands, based on our will and strength to forgive. The gift of god's forgiveness would turn into a law that demands, and one that demands more than the even the Ten Commandments demands. So, this does not seem to be at the heart of the story.

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2. Theologian Miroslav Volf, who writes about forgiveness in his book Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace, says that maybe to think this way is to take an illustration too literally. All the aspects of the king’s and servant’s relationship need not have one-to-one correspondence in the relationship between God and humans. The heart of the story of the story may be simply that God’s forgiveness and our forgiveness go hand in hand as do God’s un-forgiveness and our un-forgiveness. Jesus may not have been suggesting that our un-forgiveness causes God’s un-forgiveness. Our un-forgiveness may just make manifest that in fact we haven’t allowed ourselves to receive God’s pardon.

3. That’s what Martin Luther took the petition about forgiveness in the Lord’s Prayer to mean. “The outward forgiveness that I show in my deeds is a sure sign that I have the forgiveness of sin in the sight of God. On the other hand, if I do not show this in my relations with my neighbor, I have a sure sign that I do not have the forgiveness of sin in the sight of God and am still stuck in my unbelief.” If I am united with Christ in faith, I’ll have forgiveness and Christ will live in me, forgiving through me those who offend me as he has forgiven me. If, rather than being troubled by my inability to forgive, I don’t want to forgive, there is a good chance that I haven’t in fact received forgiveness from God, even if I believe that I have. This seems to be the heart of the story.

C. Forgiving Heart Our text this morning makes reveals that there is a connection between our forgiving heart and our experience of God's forgiving heart we know in Jesus the Christ.1. We cannot ignore the deep pain that many of us have suffered at the

hands of others. We must also not make small the often immense difficulties that come with this call for Christians to forgive. Christian forgiveness fully acknowledges the pain and damage and even destruction that other's sin and wrongs and attitudes bring upon our lives. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that we forget. We should not forget genocides or racism or child exploitation or even a lie that turned your life upside down or a trust betrayed that destroyed a relationship. Forgiveness does not excuse the sin or the wrong action or the hurtful attitude.

2. Jesus tells Peter and you and me this story to startle us, really to shock us into recognizing the absurdity of our assuming some limits on forgiveness and to open our eyes to seeing forgiveness from God's perspective. To see forgiveness as central to life in god's Kingdom or life under God's Rule. Most importantly, to see that our call to have a forgiving heart comes from knowing God's forgiving heart. Jesus hears in Peter's question (and in our questions on when it's hard to unpack

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forgiveness) a numbness to the sheer magnitude of God's forgiveness of our sins. Business as usual is that sin and wrong actions and wrong attitudes deserve to be repaid at beat and outright retribution at worst. Jesus comes proclaiming Mark 1.15 − 15 “The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!” Jesus in our lives disrupts business as usual and the expectations of the status quo, the way things seem to be.

3. In our third week of this series, we acknowledged that "there are times when relationships can only be reconciled (this side of heaven) to some lesser that full restoration." Yet, Jesus taught us Matthew 1.9, 12 − 9 “This, then, is how you should pray:.....12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors..... Then, at the conclusion of the prayer tells us, Matthew 1.14-15 − 14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Offering forgiveness to others is a sign that we have experienced in our hearts God's forgiveness.

4. To offer forgiveness is making the conscious choice from a forgiving heart to release the person who has sinned against us, acted wrongly against you, possessed hurtful attitudes against you, deeply wounded you from a sentence of judgment, even if that judgment is justified. Forgiveness is a choice from a forging heart to abandon resentment and give up on retribution, even if it seems right and fair. Forgiveness is a choice from a forgiving heart to release the offender from the effects of their actions and attitudes as far as you are concerned. Though the sin, wrong action, hurtful attitude and deep wound remain condemned, forgiveness from a forgiving heart releases the offender from owing you any debt.

D. Humble Heart The road (and forgiveness is so often a journey) to a forgiving heart can only begin with a humble heart.1. If you have red all of Matthew chapter 18, you might recall that this whole

discussion of conflict and forgiveness began in Matthew 18.1-5 – 1At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” To offer an answer with a visual image, 2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Without a humble heart forgiveness, Christian forgiveness is impossible.

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2. Now, Chris Brauns spends time rightly pointing out some very important places where our lack of humility encourages and continues conflict and hostility. More important, though, a humble heart opens us up to see the depths of our sin to which God has forgiven us. A humble heart, being like a little child, is not about being powerless or naive. Possessing a humble heart like a child means we see the forgiveness we are called to offer others in respect to the forgiveness that we have received from God in Jesus.

3. What I am afraid happens all too often is that Christians believe in our hearts that our sins are minimal, costing God in Jesus little to overcome. Jesus speaks to us of this, Luke 7.47 – 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” When it's hard to unpack forgiveness, a humble heart sees forgiving, even of difficult, messy and horrible situations, from the perspective of one who has been forgiven more than we could imagine. This is central to God's Kingdom, that is, living under God's Rule.

4. So, if you question, "What if I cannot forgive or even what if I will not forgive?," I want to encourage you to connect what you understand of God's forgiveness with how you live with your heart. Listen to Isaiah 40.12-14 −

12 Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,    or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,    or weighed the mountains on the scales    and the hills in a balance?13 Who can fathom the Spirit of the LORD,    or instruct the LORD as his counselor?14 Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,    and who taught him the right way?Who was it that taught him knowledge,    or showed him the path of understanding?

5. Consider that Romans 5.10 − 10 For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! When it's hard to unpack forgiveness we would do well to listen to Jesus who points us to seek a humble heart.

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“Action Point” – Consider one place where you need to seek a humble heart so that you can offer forgiveness even when it's hard to unpack forgiveness.

“Tangled Up in Unpacking”Sunday August 23rd, 2015 (NEXT SUNDAY)

(Chapter 11) How Should I respond to the Unrepentant; Two Principles

Romans 12:17-21 (Chapter 12) How Should I respond to the Unrepentant; Two Principles

Romans 12:17-21 (Chapter 8) Should I Just Get Over It?

Proverbs 19.11 1 Peter 4.8

Prayer for Sunday August 16th, 2015 (TODAY)Jesus, Once again my journey to unpack forgiveness has brought me to the

cross. I have been forgiven so much yet at times I love so little. Maybe, Jesus, the truth is that I believe my sins cost you little and I have forgotten that I have sinned and I fall short of your glory. I know that I have been redeemed, bought back from the power of sin and death, through your death on the cross—give me the faith for that to sink into my heart.

Please strengthen my heart to forgive the debts I am owed by those who have hurt and wronged me. Please give courage to my heart to have mercy for others that reflects, even if only faintly, your mercy for me. Please, through you living in me, Jesus, give me boldness to forgive my brother or sister from my heart.

I humbly submit to your guiding my life. I humbly submit to living under your rule. Your kingdom come, your will be done, where there are glimpses of forgiveness on earth as there is forgiveness from God in heaven.

Amen 

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Brauns, Chris. "The Way Up Is Down" and "What If I Won't Forgive? In Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds. Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway Books, 2008.

Volf, Miroslav. "The God Who Forgives (p.154)" In Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan, 2005.