Which Breakfast Cereal Are You?

D/K Weekly Awards-Page 6

Player Profile: Chip Sweeney-Page 7

Power Rankings-Page 10

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Hello HuntingTen Homies!

Greetings from your commissioner. This week two was rough for some teams in reality and fantasy. Just to recap Devante’s Inferno beat the Huntington Hedgehogs in New England like fashion, similarly Ruffles Have Ridges steamrolled Contract Issues and the Melbourne Sea Urchins got wacked by the Nuktown OBJYNs. The rest of the games were closer but there still was a clear winner in all the other contest. Master Ki-Thadi-Mundi took care of business against Richard Sherman. Load of Landry upset Daddy’s Darlings, and our reigning champion Alvin and The Nose Rings secured a victory against a surprisingly revamped Team Nolan.

As week two is in the books I would like to take this time to share some insights into the league. I’d like to break this down into sections in like a possible awards prediction section.

Most Improved – Team Nolan

I don’t know how long this will last but I hope it lasts all season. Team Nolan has one injured player that will most likely play again this season! His past seasons have been plagued by David Johnson’s injury and then by LeVeon Bell’s holdout. This season is looking up for him!

Newcomer of the Year – Huntington Hedgehogs

This is my sleeper team this year. I think that they will surprise some people this year. I think that when their receiving core gets healthy, they can be an above .500 team. As long as they don’t sell their players that is.

Most Unimproved – Daddy’s Darling’s

This isn’t a dig at this team or its ownership, just an observation that I think everyone would agree with. Last year they were a juggernaut. This year though just a super soldier. Again, not a huge loss as I am pretty positive, they will still be a top 3 team in the league but much more beatable this year than the year before.

I’d like to thank our newsletter founder, writer, figure maker and editor Thad Taylor for his commitment to the newsletter and the league in general. In conclusion I wish everyone a happy week 3 and I hope your players remain uninjured.

Score lots of points.

Good Luck Have Fun.

Commissioner Richbart

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Strength of Schedule

The Hedgehogs have clearly faced the hardest schedule so far. Only four people throughout two weeks would

have won a single game playing his schedule. Meanwhile, Stephen had a cakewalk against the Urchins this

past week which makes his schedule easier.

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Luckiness

This week, the luckiness curve is at 1. Meaning if your number is above 1 you are lucky and if you are below 1

you are unlucky. This stat will begin to have a predictive quality when looking at who will finish the season

strong or poorly. That is because it is reasonable to expect that every team will have the approximately the

same amount of points scored against them by seasons end.

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Hot TakesRevisiting Hot Takes so far.

Hot takes with no flame…

Nick Foles is not going to be a top 3 scoring Quarterback.

Connor will not go undefeated with Jacoby Brissett.

Hot takes on the verge of being extinguished…

Andy will go 1-12. (Still technically possible)

The Urchins will make the playoffs. (not looking good)

Not a hot take…

JuJu will outscore Antonio Brown by a wide margin.

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D/K Awards

Once again this week, every team that had the higher DK score in their respective matchup won their game.

That has happened 2 weeks in a row now when it only happened once all last season. That means it looks like

in our expansion league, getting points from the kicker and defense is more important than ever.

Killer Kong - This is probably the easiest Killer Kong award I have ever

given. Andre of course wins this week breaking the previous league

record of 39 with his 42 point performance. There isn’t much else to say.

Diddy Kong - The Diddy Kong

Award this week goes to a person who outscored 2 winners and

scored higher than the average, but still picked up an L. This man is

Jeffrey Richbart. Jeffrey scored 15 DK fantasy points, just above this

weeks average of 14.8, but Diddy win? No.

Hairless Kong - We had our first negative DK score this week. The Urchins put

up a -4, tied for the second worst DK score of all time. It’s always a

disappointment to see a negative DK, because that’s 2/9 positions on the

team that lowered your overall score.

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PLAYER PROFILE: CHIP SWEENEY

Chip Sweeney is a Huntington Homies staple in the same way that baseball is an American staple. It’s not

the most watched, most exciting, or richest sport, but it’s still America’s game. Chip has earned this after being

highly fantasy relevant for the past 2 years, and a part of the league for as long as I can remember. Chip’s

conquests were somewhat outlined in last weeks profile of Andy. That’s because they seemed to be tied

together like the wands of Harry Potter and Voldemort. In 2017-2018, Chip came out of nowhere as a

dominant team only to be upset by Andy in the championship game. Last year dominance was not an adjective

used to describe Chip.

The 2018-2019 season saw a tad of controversy in the final weeks as Chip claimed a higher playoff seed

than Ridge. This was suspect because if Ridge had won the 2 seed instead of Chip, he would have won the

championship. Nevertheless, Chip avenged his Championship loss from the year prior, and now he hold the

Huntingten Homies trophy. This is pretty incredible if you think about it. Fantasy Football is a sport where luck

plays a big factor, and we have had some movie-esque storylines in play.

This year Chip is off to a hotter start than last year. 2-0 and a game up on Andy. Additionally, Chip is

ranked #1 in the power rankings which he has never been before. This week he will take on the most

underrated team in the league as he faces the Huntington Hedgehogs. With our expansion teams we lack

narrative. There’s no history to make accurate predictions and there are no previous matchups to add much

suspense. Chip is also in what might be the easiest bubble of his schedule, playing currently winless teams

weeks 3 and 4. If he makes it to 4-0, he’s looking at a potential undefeated matchup against division rival

Ridge.

Versus the Hedgehogs this week, it shouldn’t be stress free at all. Chip has outscored the Hedgehogs

both weeks. The Hedgehogs have some injuries, but rosters aside and only focusing on history and numbers,

this has the makings for an upset. Matt is the baseline for what unluckiness looks like so far this year. Chip has

scored so lights out, but he has scored far above a sustainable level. The Hedgehogs have been unfortunate,

so we don’t see a low scoring win for the Hedgehogs, we should see a higher scoring loss.

Prediction: Huntington Hedgehogs

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Week 3 ForecastMatchup: Daddy’s Darlings vs Melbourne Sea Urchins

Information: Last week Andy scored his second fewest points ever documented. That number was 117.8. Through

two weeks the most we’ve seen from the Urchins is 100.7. This battle would only be available to see on ESPN+. Not only

is their no storyline, but there doesn’t appear to be much possibility of an upset. Of course, anything is possible, and an

Urchin win would make for some interesting scenarios, it’s an incredibly long shot.

Prediction: Daddy’s Darlings (by a lot)

Matchup: Davante’s Inferno vs Contract Issues

Information: The past 2 years Jeffrey has had Ezekiel Elliot and Michael Thomas, but he has had a very hard time

getting wins. Last year he looked under rated, and this year his numbers are staggeringly low. Jeffrey is 0-2 vs Andre all

time by a combined margin of 75 points. If they were to play each other every week, then Andre would only be 8-7 vs

Andre. These teams have historically scored similarly. Expect significant DK regression from Andre, and I wouldn’t expect

Chris Godwin to score 26+ again either. It should be time for Jeffrey to reach his projection.

Prediction: Contract Issues

Matchup: Master Ki-Thadi-Mundi vs Load of Landry

Information: This is a rivalry game. These 2 teams have split their regular season matchups, and Thad defeated Grant

in the playoffs last year. Thad has scored 16 more points in the regular season matchups. Grant has outscored Thad on 8

of the 15 weeks. The game Grant won vs Thad consisted of a last second 75 yard hailmary from Aaron Rodgers to

Randall Cobb for 21.5 points and a win. I haven’t forgotten that, since it also ended up keeping me out of the playoffs. In

this weeks matchup the loss of Antonio Brown can’t be ignored, but it’s not the lone factor. Grant’s team just looks

better. Plus, Thad’s team is the second luckiest team right now.

Prediction: Load of Landry

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Week 3 Forecast Continued…

Matchup: Team Nolan vs Ruffles Have Ridges

Information: Nick is 0-2 vs Ridge which is no surprise considering Nick was the worst team last year and

Ridge finished #3. Not only is Ridge 2-0 vs Nick, but he has outscored Nick by a total of 127.4 points. Ridge has

outscored Nick 12 of the 15 documented weeks. This game isn’t a must win for either team, but Ridge

probably needs it more to keep pace for the 1 or 2 seed. Nick is more likely to be a wildcard if anything. This

should be a good one.

Prediction: Ruffles Have Ridges

Matchup: NukTown OBJYNs vs Richard Sherman Game of the Week

Information: Connor is 2-0 vs Stephen all time by a combined score of 36 points. Connor has outscored

Stephen on 10 of the 15 documented weeks. Connor and Stephen have won 50 percent of the league’s

championships. Stephen is currently the luckiest team in the league, a long ways away from his “unluckiest”

status last year. Stephen has scored consistently while Connor has scored 134 and 91 points. This game means

more for Stephen believe it or not, because his scoring has been below the average both weeks and winning

that way is not sustainable.

Prediction: Richard Sherman

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1) Chip2) Ridge3) Andy4) Andre5) Stephen6) Nick7) Grant8) Connor9) Hedgehogs10) Thad11) Jeffrey12) Urchins

Power Rankings

*Power rankings are based on 2 formulas and use the GM’s rankings as a tiebreaker.

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ComparisonsThis week I am going to be comparing each of your teams to a breakfast cereal/food. This comparison has

been suggested a lot, so let’s see how fun we can make cereal.

Alvin and the Nose Rings: Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Cinnamon Toast Crunch is

one of the best breakfast

cereals out there. There is

one major downside that

all cereal has that is even

more evident in this

cereal. That is the

sogginess that comes

from sitting in the milk.

Chip is the clear #1 team

right now (and I am not

saying CTC is the number

1 cereal) but I don’t think

Chip will weather the

storm. Last year Chip

went 7-6 with a similar

team as this year’s. Why

do we not expect a

similar record this year?

Chip is starting out strong

and crisp, but by years end I think he will just be a soggy limp regular(ish) square.

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Ruffles Have Ridges: Honey Nut Cheerios

Cheerios is consistently

America’s top cereal

brand. Fun fact, Ridge

has been a top 3 team in

our Power Rankings

every single week there

has been a power

ranking. Who doesn’t

like a good nut?

Cheerios aren’t my think

though. In fact, Cheerios

would have to be the

last thing in my

cupboard in order for

me to eat them. They

are pretty plain. And if

you ask someone what

their favorite cereal is

and they say Cheerios

you should probably

slap them in the face.

It’s not an incredibly

exciting cereal, but it is

incredibly consistent.

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Daddy’s Darlings: Honey Smacks

There isn’t much logic

behind this

comparison.

Something about this

cereal just spoke to

me for Andy. The

truth is that honey

smacks actually

smack, and I think

they are a lot more

bad ass then they get

credit for. I have very

little doubt that this

frog would not beat all

of our asses if it was

real. It definitely

smokes cigs and has

statutory relations

with consenting

females. Because of

those relations I’d say

he’s been to court a

couple of times.

Obviously there is a

lot in common here

with Andy. Andy rapes

a lot of us, but

sometimes he slows down and has stand trial. I guess this week was one of those weeks for Andy.

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Davante’s Inferno: Trix

Are Trix good? I don’t

know. Last year Andre

pulled the wool over

everyone’s eyes for a

solid 6 weeks before he

plummeted. This year

he’s showing signs of

repeating that.

Meaning it looks like he

might be an average

team that has

outbursts. So if you put

stock in his 160+ point

performance then HE’S

TRIXING YOU! Andre

ain’t a 160+ point

team. Dude is a straight

corn puff with just

enough natural

flavoring to be able to

write it on the box, but

he is primarily artificial.

Andre is just a big fruity

shape.

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NukTown OBJYNs: Lucky Charms

Stephen is currently

lucky. But also he is

good. His wide

receiving core has

been off to a slow

start , but he has

still managed to go

2-0. And what else

can one say about

Stephen? He’s

ranked #5 and I’d

say he will probably

finish in the middle

tier of teams

(somewhere in the

8th to 4th range).

What is really

incredible is that

Stephen manages

to get lucky

without having any

charm. And that

just proves all girls

care about is the

size of your

marshmallow.

Team Nolan:

Corn Flakes

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For Nick I looked for the most eh cereal available. Corn flakes don’t have the benefit of being frosted or having flavor.

They are reliant on additives like the strawberries shown in this picture. I roasted Nick all of last year, but this year he

has shown some more positives. He’s scored well both weeks, but goodness looks at his team. Without Tyreek Hill he

lacks star power. Also, ranking Nick at 6th just seems ridiculous given what we saw him do all last year. There isn’t much

to understand on Team Nolan, so a Simple Grain could be a good description.

Load of Landry:

Raisin Bran

This is another one

where the imagery of

the box really made

me think of Grant. It

could be the sun

reflecting his positive

energy or the

emptiness of the

grape that is

reminiscent of his

lack of substance. But

probably it’s how

60% of his name is in

“Bran”. Here is what

separates Raisin Bran

from Grant’s team.

Grant named his

team after the worst

starter on his team

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(Jarvis Landry) and Raisin Bran primarily named after its best quality (Raisins). Maybe it’s best not to ask questions about

what makes Grant or Raisin Bran better than they should be.

Richard Sherman:

Apple Jacks

Cinnamon is the winna

man. Connor was ranked

in the top 3 all last

season. Last week he fell

to 4 and this week he is

down to 8. Easily the

lowest he’s ever been.

Here is the thing about

Connor/Apple Jacks

though, no matter how

far behind it seems like

Cinnamon is - he always

wins. And I am not

inferring Connor will win,

but he will undoubtedly

be in the playoff

conversation at the end of

the season. I’m hoping

you all recall these

commercials so my

cinnamon references

make sense.

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Huntington Hedgehogs:

Frosted Flakes

Hedgehogs as we

know is a very

energetic person.

Like take a normal

person then coat it

with sugar and that

is what you get with

Hedgehogs. Frosted

Flakes are

potentially

underrated, or

maybe you have

them rated high

yourself. I think this

is probably the best

cereal to eat dry.

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The Hedgehogs are good and they should stand the test of time this season. They will have to earn their

stripes.

Master Ki-Thadi-Mundi: Cookie Crisps

For Thad, a

positive attitude

has been a

requirement this

season with a pair

of disappointing

keepers, and then

the Antonio Brown

drama on top of

that. Who is more

positive than the

wolf that says

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“Coookie Crisps. Next time they’re mine.” That’s how I’m going to feel this whole season going into a new

week. It’s really a battle not to get last.

Contract Issues: Cap’n Crunch

Cap’n Crunch is the

type of cereal that can

look god until you bite

into it and it cuts the

top of your mouth.

That is what Jeffrey

team feels like right

now. It has great

presentation and looks

like it would be good,

but the production is

horrible. With Zeke

and Michael Thomas

there are expectations

and it seems to be

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fools gold. Maybe this is a buy low situation for Jeffrey though and he is on the verge of breaking out. I guess

we will see.

Melbourne Sea Urchins: Unfrosted Strawberry Poptarts

This is the only reason

I made a clarification

on cereal/food. I knew

I wanted to give the

worst breakfast item

to Urchins and this is

the worst. I’m

convinced people only

buy these as an

accident. Urchins

looks really bad

without a week

scoring a full point

over 100. This could

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be a long year. This essentially naked poptart could foreshadow an almost naked cover boy for our

punishment calendar.