We Begin a Two-week Mini-Series on Marriage.

Today, we will look at finding a completer.We will focus on Adam’s discovery of the need for a mate and God’s design in providing for him.Next week, we will look at the nature and necessity of marriage.How God unites us together in a lifelong process of becoming one.

Finding a Lifelong Mate is No Easy Task.

We seem to err on one of two extremes . . .1st Extreme: we stumble into a relationship with little or no forethought . . . We fail to recognize that dating DOES lead to marriage.We date unbelievers or those with known issues, but we overlook them, because, after all, “It’s just dating.”

The Extremes.Then months or even years later after your marriage, I find you in the church office, telling me you made a mistake.2nd Extreme: we have unrealistic expectations for our future mate.We may want perfection but that will not be found.We may have other requirements that are not realistic.VIDEO: Dating Service

Finding a Lifelong Mate is no Easy Task.

Don’t shrink back from the challenge.Instead be aware of the pitfalls; avoid the extremes.Be aware of your own imperfections and the imperfections of others.Ask God to help (EX: my prayer). It wasn’t even easy for Adam.

Genesis 2:18-23Page 2

18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.

Genesis 2:18-2320 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh.

Genesis 2:18-2322 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’

for she was taken out of man.” The New International Version, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House) 1984.

Finding A CompleterI. A Problem Presented

(Vv. 18-20)

A. God’s Proclamation (Vs. 18)

B. Man’s Realization (Vv. 19-20)

II. A Solution Provided (Vv. 21-23)

A. God’s Provision (Vv. 21-22).

B. Man’s Reaction (Vs. 23)

A Problem PresentedA. God’s Proclamation (Vs. 18)God addresses a problem.Thus far in creation, God had repeatedly said that it was good.But now, God states, “it was not good for the man to be alone.”God did not say it was bad.God did not say it was impossible.God did not say it was sinful.

God’s ProclamationMan needed a companion and man needed a completer.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-109 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

The New International Version, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House) 1984.

Finding A “Helper”“Helper” is NOT a derogatory term: “Helper” . . . is often used in Scripture to describe God Almighty (e.g., Pss. 33:20; 70:5; 115:9, where it is trans. “help” in the NIV). The description of her as “corresponding to him” means basically that what was said about him in Genesis 2:7 was also true of her. They both had the same nature. But what man lacked (his aloneness was not good) she supplied, and what she lacked he supplied. Walvoord, John F., and Zuck, Roy B., The Bible Knowledge Commentary, (Wheaton, Illinois: Scripture Press Publications, Inc.) 1983, 1985.

Marriage is Completion:

Eve supplied what Adam lacked.Adam supplied what Eve lacked.Great to see how a couple “complete” each other.One is a planner . . . one is spontaneous.One is cautious . . . one is impulsive.

Marriage is Completion:

One is neat . . . one is untidy.One is a late-night person . . . one is an early riser.One counts pennies . . . one spends dollars.It is good to know where you complete one another.EX: The Pet Peeve.

A word of Caution:One of the greatest sources of tension in your marriage WILL BE in the areas where you “complete” one another:Work through those areas. Build on your uniquenesses.Make your differences your greatest strengths.EX: Beauty and Unity

Man’s RealizationGod knew that man needed a helper, but now God brings man to that same conclusion.19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.

Man’s Realization20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.In the naming and review of the animals, man discovers his need!Man asks, “Is there anyone out there for me?”Men & women utter similar words even today. “Is there anyone for me?”

God’s Provision21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. What a beautiful scene of God’s perfect care and provision.

Finding A CompleterMan asks, “Is anyone out there for me?” (vv. 19-20)God answers with an “act” of God! (vv. 21-23)God performs the first operation:Deep sleep = 1) deep sleep, trance Enhanced Strong’s Lexicon, (Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.) 1995.

God’s ProvisionMatthew Henry writes: "Eve was made by God not out of His head to rule over Him, nor out of His feet to be trampled upon by Him, but out of His side to be equal with Him, under His arm to be protected, and near His heart to be loved.“ Henry, Matthew, Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Bible, (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers) 1991.

God provided.God is still in the business of providing.

Man’s Reaction23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”

As one Hebrew scholar put it:“Now, this is it!” Wood,

Fred M., Bible Book Study Commentary on Genesis, (Nashville, TN; Convention Press) 1988.

Now that’s what I’m talking about.

Man’s ReactionMan had found his companion and his completer!

Man names his mate.

By naming her, man bestows even greater value upon her . . .

He calls her, “Ishah” (woman) because she was taken out of man (here man is translated by Ish).

God had met their needs.

Finding A CompleterWhile a woman and a man are designed to work together and to complement or complete one another, it is NOT always an easy process.It WILL require a willingness to die to self.It WILL come at a personal cost.

Becoming One is an Ongoing Process

It will demand personal sacrifice.You will have to adjust.You will need to learn to accept your mate’s strengths along with their weaknesses.Build on the strengths while the two of you shore up of any areas of weakness.Remind yourself & your mate of your love (say “I love you.”)

Becoming One is No Easy Task.

Remember, your mate is not perfect but neither are you.Ask God to grow you together into something beautiful.Keep your commitment, stand by your mate, and God will bless.EX: ShmilyAre you growing together or growing apart?Ask God to work in your marriage.