WHAT IS TOTAL FORGIVENESS

Talk 2,3

Youth Conference Oct. 2012

SUMMARY OF THE TALK

1) What total forgiveness is NOT2) What total forgiveness IS3) How do we know that we have totally

forgiven someone?4) The consequences of unforgiving

spirits5) How to forgive totally

ST CYRIL OF JERUSALEM ‘And forgive us our debts as we also forgive

our debtors.’ For we have many sins. For we offend both in word and in thought, and very many things we do worthy of condemnation; and ‘if we say that we have no sin’ (1 John 1.8), we lie, as John says. The offenses committed against us are slight and trivial, and easily settled; but those which we have committed against God are great, and need such great mercy. Take heed, therefore, lest for the slight and trivial sins against you, you shut out for yourself forgiveness from God for your very grievous sins.

(Catechetical Lectures, 23.16)

What total forgiveness is NOT

1. APPROVAL OF WHAT THEY DID

“No one, sir,” she said.“Then neither do I

condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now

and leave your life of sin.” Jn 8:11

2. EXCUSING WHAT THEY DID The LORD said to Moses, “How long will

these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the signs I have performed among them? 12 I will strike them down with a plague and destroy them, but I will make you into a nation greater and stronger than they. Nu 19:11,12

 In accordance with your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now.” Nu 14:19

3. JUSTIFYING WHAT THEY DID Justifying = making it right or Just

“Would you discredit my justice?  Would you

condemn me to justify yourself?

  Job 40:8

4. PARDONING WHAT THEY DID

Pardoning is to release the offender

form the consequences like

penalty.

5. RECONCILATION

 that God was reconciling the world to himself in

Christ, not counting people’s sins against

them.....  We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God 2 Cor

2:19,20

6. DENYING WHAT THEY DID

Do not repress (involuntarily = unconscious)

7. BLINDNESS TO WHAT HAPPENED

Blindness is voluntarily act

.. it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Cor 13:5

8. FORGETTINGFor I will forgive their

wickedness    and will remember their sins no more.”

Heb 8:12God has made the choice , we too have to

make the choice

Choice

ST. IGNATIUS BRIANCHANINOV

"Resentment or rejection of love is rejection of God. God

withdraws from a resentful person, deprives him of His

Grace, and gives him up to spiritual death, unless the person repents in good time so as to be

healed of that deadly moral poison, resentment.

9. REFUSING TO TAKE THE WRONG SERIOUSLY

We can not truly forgive until we see the actual thing we

are forgiving, and how serious it is. God did

so.

10. PRETENDING THAT WE ARE NOT HURT

Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For

the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Heb 12:2

“If I said something wrong,” Jesus replied, “testify as to what is

wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?”

Jn 18:23

What total forgiveness IS

1. BEING AWARE OF WHAT SOMEONE HAS DONE AND STILL

FORGIVING THEM.

“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  As he began the settlement ...

Matt 18:23,24

2. IT IS A CHOICE TO KEEP NO RECORDS OF WRONG

.. Love keeps no records of wrong. 1 Cor 13:5

Total forgiveness is not initially a feeling , it is painful choice at

first. But later we feel it- and it is a good feeling.

3. REFUSING TO PUNISH

This is the essence of total forgiveness. It is when we give up

the natural desire to see them ‘get what’s coming to them.

It is mine to avenge; I will repay.

Deut 32:35, Rom 12:19, Heb 10:30

4. NOT TELLING WHAT THEY DID

Tell your father of confession and a spiritual guide for a therapeutic reason not for any other reasons.

I have been forgiven means:1) I won’t be punished for my sins2) Nobody will know about my

sins , for sins under the blood of Jesus Christ will not be exposed or held against.

Who steals my purse, steals trash;

‘Twas mine,’ tis his , and he has been slave to thousands.

But he that filches from me my good name

Robs me of that which not enriches him,

And makes me poor indeed.From Othello, by William Shakespeare

5. BEING MERCIFUL

Blessed are the merciful,    for they will be shown

mercy. Matt 5:7

The merciful man does good for his

own soul.. Prov. 11:17

6. GRACIOUSNESSWhen Jesus had raised Himself up

and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where

are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” 

And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin

no more. Jn 8:10,11

7. IT IS AN INNER CONDITION

For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

Matt 12:34

Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know

what they do.”And they divided His garments

and cast lots. Lk 23:34

8. IT IS THE ABSENCE OF BITTERNESS

 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by

whom you were sealed for the day of

redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. Eph 4:30,31

9. DECLARING GOD’S GOODNESS

For those who struggle with god’s right to allow

evil- and we all have done this- there still must be a genuine forgiveness on

our part, for any bitterness grieves the

Spirit.

10. FORGIVING OURSELVES

I know God forgave me but I can not forgive myself.

And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your

neighbour as yourself. Matt 22:39

ELDER SAMPSON OF RUSSIA

The drunkard, the fornicator, the proud—he will receive God’s

mercy. But he who does not want to forgive, to excuse, to

justify consciously, intentionally ... that person closes himself to eternal life

before God, and even more so in the present life. He is turned

away and not heard.

HOW DO WE KNOW THAT WE HAVE TOTALLY FORGIVEN

SOMEONE?

Joseph Example (Gen.45)

1. DO NOT LET ANYBODY KNOW WHAT SOMEONE SAID ABOUT YOU OR DID TO YOU

Then Joseph could not restrain himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried out, “Make everyone go out from

me!” So no one stood with him while Joseph made

himself known to his brothers. Gen 45:1

2. DO NOT ALLOW ANYBODY TO BE AFRAID OF YOU OR INTIMIDATED BY YOU

And Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come near to me.” So they came near. Then he

said: “I am Joseph your brother, Gen 45:4

3.WE WILL WANT THEM TO FORGIVE THEMSELVES AND NOT FEEL GUILTY

....Then he said: “I am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you

sold me here; for God sent me before you to

preserve life. Gen 45:4,5

No denial

4. WE WILL LET THEM SAVE FACE

And God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in

the earth, and to save your lives by a great

deliverance. 8 So now it was not you who sent me here, but God;

and He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of

Egypt.  Gen 45:7,8

5. WE WILL PROTECT THEM FROM THIER GREATEST FEAR

“Hurry and go up to my father, and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph: “God has made me lord of all Egypt; come down to me, do not tarry. 10 You shall dwell in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near to me, you and your children, your children’s children, your flocks and your herds, and all that you have. 11 There I will provide for you, lest you and your household, and all that you have, come to poverty; for there are still five years of famine.”’ 12 “And behold, your eyes and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see that it is my mouth that speaks to you. 13 So you shall tell my father of all my glory in Egypt, and of all that you have seen; and you shall hurry and bring my father down here. Gen 45:9-13

6. IT IS A LIFE LONG COMMITMENT

Seventeen years later

15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “Perhaps Joseph will hate us, and may actually repay us for all the evil which we did to him.” Gen 50:15

19 Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? 20 But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. 21 Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. Gen 50:19,21

7. PRAYING FOR THEM TO BE BLESSED

 And the LORD restored Job’s losses when he prayed

for his friends. Indeed the LORD gave Job twice as much

as he had before. Job 42:10 Then Job answered and said:  “I have heard

many such things; Miserable comforters are you all! 3 Shall words of wind have an end? Or what provokes you that you answer? Job 16:1-3

WARNING!!!

Never go to a person you have had to forgive and say to him ‘I

forgive you’ this will be a counter-productive every time unless it is to a person that you happen to know is yearning for you to forgive him. Otherwise you will create a stir that you will not be able to cope with.

THE CONSEQUENCES OF UNFORGIVING SPIRITS

1. WE LOSE OUR FORGIVENESS

“This is how my heavenly Father will

treat each of you unless you forgive your brother

or sister from your heart.” Matt 18:35

2. THE HOLY SPIRIT IS GRIEVED

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you

were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,

brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind

and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Eph 4:30-32

3. YOU ARE LEFT TO YOURSELF

The backslider in heart will be filled with his own ways,

But a good man will be satisfied from above. Prov. 14:14

 lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.

2 Cor 2:11

4. YOU MAKE YOURSELF AN ENEMY OF GOD

1 Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from

your desires for pleasure that war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You

fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive,

because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. 4Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that

friendship with the world is enmity with God?

Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an

enemy of God. Jas 4:1-4

5. YOU LOSE YOUR ANOINTING’S POTENTIAL

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give

thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the

Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies. 21 Test all things; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil. 1 Thes 5:16-22

6. NO AUTHENTIC FELLOWSHIP WITH THE FATHER

6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and

walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the

truth. 7 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of

Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. 1 Jn 1:6,7

DO NOT PLAY GOD BUT SEEK NEED

Necessary – Is it necessary to say this?

Encourage – will this encourage ? Will it make them to feel better?

Edify - will it edify? Will it build them up and make them stronger as a result if what you would say?

Dignify – will it dignify that person? That’s the way Jesus treated other people; he gave them a sense of dignity.

WHEN I CAN ADVISE OR ADMONISH

14 Now I myself am confident concerning you, my brethren,

that you also are full of goodness, filled with all

knowledge, able also to admonish one another.

Rom 15:14

HOW TO ADMONISH

Motive: The motive should be love not condemnation

Level of speech: I am a sinner like you and even I am the chief sinners.

Measure of speech: We measure everything to the absolute truth of the Word of God not on personal opinions.

HOW TO FORGIVE TOTALLY

1. Make the deliberate and irrevocable choice not to tell anybody about what they did

2. Be pleasant to them should you be around them

3. If conversation ensues, say that which would set them free from guilt.

4. Protect them from greatest fear.5. Keep it up today, tomorrow , this year

and next.6. Pray for them.

FIVE LEVELS OF PRAYER1) Duty : it is obedience , even if you are

doing it because you feel you have to.2) Debt : this when you are so conscious of

what you have been forgiven that you cannot but pray for your enemy.

3) Desire: now you have reached the stage where you actually want to pray for those who have hurt you.

4) Delight : this is taking desire a step further , it is when you love doing it.

5) Durability : this means what you took on as a life-long commitment becomes a lifestyle.