SCIENCE U.B.C. NEWSPAPERVolume 2, Number 1 Wednesday, September 14, 1988

st

Parking .by Derek K. Miller

As most of you may have discovered bynow, parking at UBC is in utter chaos .That, of course, is normal, but the chao sthis year seems to be leaning furthe rtowards total anarchy than usual, as I amsure anyone who has to deal with B-lotknows.

We seem to have become resigned to thequarter-a-time parking arrangement inB-lot, but the first week of the new schoo lyear has brought about another problem :the lack of enough B-lot to go around .Yes, folks, B-lot is quite often full, all th eway to the gravel lots out near the edgesof the Earth, and frequently by 9:30 inthe morning. Why is this so?

First, TeleReg has somehow (although itis "theoretically" impossible) over-registered a lot of people, or so it seems ,since extra lab sections have had to b ecreated to accommodate all of the new-comers . These people are taking up park -ing space. Second, BC Transit has donesome injudicious fiddling with their ser-vice to UBC, including less frequently-run trolley buses, "express" buses whichskip by those living near the University,and rerouting of buses formerly destinedfor UBC to SkyTrain, which doesn't hea dout this way. Students are electing t otake their cars rather than face being latebecause of too :many full buses, especial -ly since there is no UBC student discoun ton fares .

What can we do about it? Not very muchexcept protest and make people awar ethat things are getting worse . Maybe I'lljust start: walking from Burnaby .

The 432

- Page 1 -

September 14, 1988

Guess what happens if you CANT park in B-lot?

W e l c o m eB a c k

by Derek K. Miller, 432 that five bucks went,Editor

didn't you? The only wayyou will get your money' s

We need you. Yes you. We worth is if you get in-don't care what kind of volved, be it in thistalent you have, be it 'inert- newspaper,` sports, intal, physical, telekinetic, council, clubs, specialwhatever. Now that you're events, or just beer gar-back to the grind of dens .school, slogging away atthose incredible piles of The 432 needs staf fhomework assignments desperately . We needand readings and other in- writers, co-editors ,terminable items, it's time typists, photographers ,for you to get involved in artists,

proofreaders ,something else .

layout people, desktoppublishers, distribution

Everyone registered as an people - everything tha tundergraduate in the goes with a newspaper, w eFaculty of Science is a need . The first meeting ofmember of the Science the 432 staff, for bothUndergraduate Society . present and prospectiveEveryone . Yes, you too . I members, will be onbet you wondered where Thursday,

Septembernumber of ways: Intramural Sports is no tprimarily for the superhuman athlete ;

anyone can participate . (I did.) Clubshave beer gardens, and the SUS will b eputting on major social events all year,

including Lip Sync '88, follow-up to our

incredibly successful airband contes t

last year, and Science Week. For info onthese and reams of other things to do be -sides study, come on down to the Science

office. Scarfe room 9 . You won't regret it.

Remember: Par+i c i pa-te. in Tn+rcl/nurta l

Seorh -Por SCIENCE and you gef

RR Mai? gg (cash! )

See Scare room 9 for more .

Back to the grind again .

15th, at 12 :30pm in theScience office (that'sScarfe room 9) .

We need a Sports Coor-dinator. In fact, we need awhole Sports Council, sowhether you're interestedin running the whole showor just individual portionsof it, come down to the of-fice. We'll hug you .Promise.

being Senator or AMS Re plets you do one of these

things. We also need anAcademics Coordinator.

Clubs are always eager fornew members, and thereare clubs for most depart-ments in Science, rangin gfrom Biology to Atmos-pheric Sciences toChemistry to Physics to

Geology. And if yourdepartment doesn't have aclub, you can start one! Ifyou want to find out more,come down to the office .

The Science Senator an dAMS Representative posi-tions are still open. Haveyou ever wanted to feeltotal power? Ever wanted Even if you don't want to

to observe the inner work- be in a position of power

ings of the University first where you have awesom e

hand? Ever wanted to responsibilities at you r

make oodles and oodles of disposal, you can par-

money in seconds? Well, ticipate in Science in a

September 14, 1988

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The 432

T h e UB CH i e r a r c h y

Is built like a locomotive.Can fire a speeding bullet .Swims well .Talks with the Chaplain .

Graduate Student

A Simple Interpretation(Adapted from an un-known source)

Deartment Head

Leaps tall buildings in asingle bound .Is more powerful than alocomotive .Is faster than a speedingbullet .Walks on water.Speaks with God.

Professor

Leaps short buildings in asingle bound .Is more powerful than aswitch engine .Is about as fast as aspeeding bullet .

Walks on water that isn' ttoo choppy .Gets interoffice memosfrom God.

Associate Professor

Leaps short buildingswith a running start .Is almost as powerful as aswitch engine .Is faster than a speedingBB.Walks on water providingit is relatively frozen .Is put on hold by God .

Assistant Professor

Can barely clear a tem-porary hut.

Lecturer

Walks around building sthat get in the way.Smokes a pipe that smell slike a locomotive .Can sometimes handle agun without injuring him-self.Dog paddles .Talks back to his horo-scope.

Research Associate

Trips over doorsteps whenentering a building.Recognizes a locomotivein most instances .Is not issued ammunition .Can stay afloat with a lifevest .Mumbles to himself.

Gets airsick in buildingswith thick rugs.Says "look at the choo-choo!"Wets himself with a waterpistol .Plays in mud puddles .Talks in his sleep .

Undergraduate Student

Lifts buildings and walksunder them.Kicks locomotives off th etrack.Catches bullets in hi steeth and eats them .Freezes water with asingle glance .Tells God where to go .

So there it is . Prettysimple, right?

French Fries

ful thingsbut not in thisWell, here's the fish, but how about the chips?

by Ken Otter

The Pit . Aplace associatedwith three things : grungi-ness, loud music, andcheap food. Yes, it is awonderful haven from ourotherwise chaotic Univer-sity existence.

Primarily, though, the Pitis truly famous for onething - French fries, frie sso big and fat and in suchhuge quantities that it isdifficult to finish there.The Pit remained aTreasure Island in thepitiful ocean of fast foodfries, for years gainingnotoriety as a place whereone can truly get a goo ddeal.

That is, it was until now .Upon returning to classesthis fall, and having inad-vertently forgotten mylunch, I headed to the Pitfor lunch in UBC'sfavourite retreat . You canimagine my surprise whenI found my cardboardplate full of fries thatlooked as though theywere cut with a cheesegrater. Is nothing sacred?Has commercialization offast food gotten to the Pit?Where will it end? Wil lportions get smaller andprices higher? You may a swell get your fries at acafeteria; there is no dif-ference any longer.

Change can be a wonder-

SAVING SPREE: . .not just a coupon book, aSAVINGS book .

SAVING SPREE is divided in 4 sections, each has 2 for 1 and lots of special offer sthat always save you money! Places pnd things we all enjoy - daily !

*Food For All *Merchandise & Service sPopular chains and favourite

Clothes, shoes, car care, dryneighbourhood restaurants

cleaning, and more

• Fun Times *Youth SavingsMovies, sports, recreation and travel

Great savings just for young people .

• Win a $25,000 Scholarshi p

SAVING :SPREE' – Like Money in the Bank - SAVING SPREE'

U(3&3 nMo~ GY) 3eMOiqThe 432

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September 14, 1988

The Science Undergraduate Societydesperately needs office space for

the production of this newspaper;there simply is not enough room in

Scarfe 9. If you have any or know

of any space available anywhere oncampus, please drop by or call us

at:

by Derek K. Miller

The Science Council is the organizational bodyof your undergraduate society. It decides whatevents Science will put on, determines whereyour student society fee is used, and coordinatesthe activities of the various clubs and other or -ganizations within the faculty . It consists ofmany people, and this article is intended to giveyou a brief introduction to the people who are inthe Council this year and what they do .

Todd Ablett - President4th Year Life SciencesBorn: Kelowna, B.C.

Julie Memory - 1st Vice Prez3rd Year BiochemistryBorn : Saskatoon, Sask .

Claudio de los Rios - 2nd Vice Prez4th Year ZoologyBorn: Portugal (? )

Irene Dorocicz - Treasurer3rd Year PhysiologyBorn: Nanaimo, B.C .

Catherine RankelSecretary2nd Year MicrobiologyBorn: Toronto, Ont .

Rose Lai - Social Coor-dinator3rd Year Biopsycholog yBorn: Hong Kong

Ari Giligson - Publications2nd Year PhysiologyBorn: Vilnus, Lithuania ,USSR

Tony Ambardar - Public

Relations3rd Year Physics/MathBorn: Lusaka, Zambia

Ralph - Cartoon Character2nd Year Honours Sleep-ingBorn: yes

September 14, 1988 - Page 4 - The 432

Other positions thanthose in the Executivealso have an influence inthe Science Under-graduate Society. Theseare voting Council posi-tions and carry fullweight at meetings .

The Science Senator(currently an open posi-tion) attends Senatemeetings, votes forScience at them, an dreports back to the SUS .If you are interested intaking the position andhave a good generalknowledge of the opera-tion of the University, seeus at Scarfe 9 .

Department club repre-sentatives (usually clubpresidents)

anddepartmental repre-sentatives relay informa-tion back and forthbetween their organiza-tions and SUS Counciland are among the mostimportant positionsaround, for they deter-mine how students relateto clubs and depart-ments, and thus to th eSUS and the Universityas a whole . Your club anddepartment should senda rep to each Thursday1 :30 Council meeting.

Year representative lookour for the interests oftheir year group and voteat SUS meetings. Thereare three reps each for2nd, 3rd, and 4th year,and two for 1st year. Elec-tions are coming up in acouple of weeks and anynominations should befilled out at the SUS of-fice.

Ex-officio positions can -not vote but sit in onCouncil meetings andhave input. These posi-tions include theAcademics Coordinator,Archivist, Blood DriveCoordinator,

CharityCoordinator, FacultyRep, Intramural Men'sand Women's SportsReps, and Science Week

The Scarfe Education Building, Home of the SUS Office .

Coordinator, which arecurrently vacant, andNewspaper Editor andScience Sales Manager,positions filled, respec-tively, by me (DerekMiller) and David Way .

If you are interested inany of the vacant posi-tions, have someone tonominate, or just want toget involved in some way,pop by the office at Scarferoom 9 and we'll be gladto talk to you.

Our hope this year is tomake Science into themost active faculty oncampus. In order toachieve this goal, theremust be interaction be-tween students and thei rdepartmental clubs, theclubs and SUS Council ,and Council and theAMS, Board of Gover-nors, and Senate . Thereare zillions (well, give ortake) of things to do, atleast one of whicheveryone will find fun .Sports, publications ,Science Week, clubs, bee rgardens - you name it, wehave it. Your departmentprobably has a clubwhich you can join, and ifit doesn't you can help tostart one. Get involved .You won't regret it .

SAVE 50% ON DINING,MOVIES, SPORTS, TRAVEL& MOREENTERTAINMENT® books work a shard to save you money a syou do to earn it . With thi swonderful book of 50 %discounts you can save o nalmost everything—all year .

Only $40 .00For more information call :SCARFE 9 =3-y235

tettatinstia,t

The 432

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September 14, 1988

Lip Syn cLip Sync '88 is the succes-sor to the immenselypopular Lip Sync '87 airband contest put on by theScience UndergraduateSociety last year. This yearit takes place on Novem-ber 10th and promises tobe an even bigger andmore successful event. Weare publicizing it now sothat you people can getyour teams ready and sothat everyone can writethe date in their little dailyminder books in order t okeep it free of other nastycommitments, such asclasses .

Booked for the SUB

Ballroom, this year's LipSync will be run in con -junction with AMS Con-certs and will be followedby a dance. In order tofacilitate the addition of

air bands to the roster andto allow each air band to

perform more than once ,the time for the air bandportion of the evening ha sbeen expanded . Not onlythat, but practice time hasbeen alloted during theafternoon, and we will b eusing the Ballroom stagefor a clear view .

Tickets will be available

soon in the SUS office andfrom the AMS, and detailswill be forthcoming. Therewill be an entry fee forbands and substantialcash prizes will be won bythe best teams . So startgetting organized! Songsshould be short (less thanfive minutes - this mean sno renditions of "In aGadda da Vida" or"Tubular Bells"), andentries creative. Judgingwill be based onoriginality, effort, and lipsyncing ability.

Entries are not limited toScience students, so getyour friends from both onand off campus to par-ticipate . Last year's eventwas the highlight of fallterm, and is Science's onlybig party before ScienceWeek. Watch for more in-formation in the next fewweeks here and in poste r

form. If you're not there ,you won't be anywhere.

In order to receive your clubgrant ($1 per student in you rdepartment) you MUST senda representative to SUSCouncil and Sports meet-ings . The next Council meet-ing is Thursday, September15, 1988, at 1 :30pm in theDean of Science conferenceroom (next to the office) . The

Clubs Days are running Sep -tember 21-23, and we will behaving a Science section inorder to make your clubeasier to find. Contact us atthe SUS Office (Scarfe 9 ,228-4235) if you want tohave a table .

September 14, 1988

The 432 is published biweekly by the Science Under-graduate Society, located in room 9 of the ScarfeEducation Building, 2125 Main Mall, at the Univer-sity of British Columbia, Vancouver, B .C. V6T 1W5 .Our telephone number is (604) 228-4235 .

©1988 SUS Pudfuations

Volume 2, Number 1, published Wed ., Sept. 14, 1988

Editor: Derek K. MillerArtist: Ken OtterContributors : Derek K. Miller, Ken Otter, David WayPhotographers : Barry Shanko, Gwen Burton, EricWalker, 1987-88 photo contest entrant s

Typing, Layout, Council Photography, Compute rOperation, Drawing, Photocopying, Weeping, Wailing ,and Gratuitous Gnashing of Teeth: Derek K. Miller

Printed by College Printers Ltd.

We really need staff, folks. The first meeting is onThursday,

15th at 12 :30pm . Please be there .Sept.

- Page 6 -

The 432

following one will be oneweek later, probably in thesame location.

CLUBS

REG

SALE

$35$40

$65 $49

$140 $119

NEW THIS YEA R

VARSITY JACKETS CAN BE ORDERWITH DEPARTMENT NAME ON BAC K

7®~SCIENCE CARDIGANS (limited supply)

AVAILABLE FOR $40

MANAGER :

DAVID WAY

JACKETSWINDBREAKERS

BLUE AND WHITE NYLON SHELLPULLOVER STYLE with hood

TEAM JACKETSNYLON/POLY SHELL with LINING

VARSITY JACKET SWilt it, LEATHER SLEAVES WITHBLUE MELTON BODY

ENtS

SEPT23

:3-0:3fD

-nm

H o m e c o m i n g W e e kTHE UBC SPIRIT L'S COMING HOME

Arts Festival 12:30-4 :30(SUB Partyroom)

Great Trekker Dinner 7 :00pm(SUB Ballroom)

Friday, October 7 :Oktoberfest 8 :00pm(SUB Ballroom)

October 3-7:Scavenger Hunt

Monday, October 3 :Homecoming parade 12 :30-1 :30(On campus)

Meet the Brass 4 :30-6:30(SUB Plaza North)

AMS Art Gallery Opening(40th anniversary) 7 :00-9:00

Pit Bash 10:00pm(The Pit)

Tuesday, October 4:Just Desserts 7 :30pm(Cecil Green Park)

Wednesday, October 5:Decorate your Buildin g(Around campus) 12 :30pm

AMS Council Meeting 6 :30pm(Cecil Green Park)

Thursday, October 6 :Arts 20 12:30pm

Homecoming 88 Schedule of Events

Saturday, October 1 :AMS Executive reunion luncheon

Homecoming football game andtailgate party 2 :00pm(Thunderbird Stadium)

The 432

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September 14, 1988

Scienc eWee k

JAN UARY 23 -2 7, 85for—

M°NDAY

T" ESDA`/

We DNESDAY

IThURSDAY

2 3

25 2.6

S p o r t s

As we don't yet have a Sports Coordinator, our Sportscolumn this week is limited to deadlines and detailson upcoming events . Again, if you are interested inany way in participating in Intramural Sports ,whether as a coordinator, council member, or par-ticipant, contact us at Scarfe 9, 228-4235 .

Sept. 14 : Reg for Broomball Bash16: Inaugural Road Run17: Softball Tourney18: Cycle Hill Climb19: Reg for Basket & Volleyball20: Reg for 3 on 3 Basketball21: Reg for ARTS 20 RELAY24: Logan Cycle25: Logan Cycle30: University Gates Run

Remember: participating for Science earns youbonuses such as partial fee refunds, patches, etc . Wewon men's and women's intramurals last year, werethe most improved in both categories, and won bestwomen's sports rep . We can and will do it again .

Science holds the power!

Science Blues

Chemistr y

Day - wear

Magic Showyour Scienceblues .

r

Da_

Compu+erScienc eCar Rally

SCIENCE WEEKd

r

•

c

= BAS H

P' ycso cPaper AirplaneContest

IFrI DAY

Departrnen4a )Tricycl e

Rac e

The Deadline for th enext issue o f

The 432

i s

W e d n e s d a ySept .

2 1

a t

4p m

Submissions to Scarfe 9

September 14, 1988

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The 432