Conventional wisdom has been that the pay gap exists because of men's power to control the workplace, and men's dominant position in society generally. This paper examines a range of literature on courtship and 'progressive' men's equality arguments to understand an alternative perspective that pay inequality exists both because of men's power to control the workplace and women's power to control courtship and family life. Tackling pay inequality by focussing on power sharing in the workplace, therefore, represents only a partial policy solution. Further solutions rest on power-sharing in the arena of parental rights through recognition and political action to tackle inequalities faced by men during romantic courtship, conception, birth and divorce. Tackling these will equalise financial pressures on men and women, and release men from social pressures to prioritise wealth creation. Whether this will close the pay gap is unclear, but it would create confidence that lifestyle choices rather the institutional inequalities are perpetuating remaining income differences.