Understanding the Federal Plain Language Guidelines.

Understanding the Federal Plain Language Guidelines

APMP BID & PROPOSAL CON 2015 | PAGE 2

What HowWhy


“Communication your audience understands

the first time they read it.”

— CDC Plain Language Guidelines

What is plain language?


Yuck.

Using a state-of-the-art test and development center, Leading Edge Solutions Center (LESC), our support will be focused on providing NAASC with a means to mitigate risk, cost overruns, and rapid results by offering efficiencies, through offsite Agile development, facilitating continuity of operations for NAASC with zero transition time and minimal risk, while transitioning future-state business vision to system workflow.


Wha?

Ms. Benson currently works for a company that consults with intelligence agencies, participates in triathlons, and organizes an annual fundraiser for the local United Way.


Plain Writing Act of 2010

All agencies must— Write in a “clear, concise, well-

organized” manner Train staff in plain writing Use plain language in any document

that explains a federal government benefit or service, or gives the public instructions

Provide annual compliance reports


2010

2013

2015

Ongoing training …


DoD, 2015

DFAS — 20 DCAA — 158 USNORCOM and NORAD — 407 Joint Staff — 574


Also …

DoD-wide PL training course debuting May 2015 DCMA PL training program debuting Q4 2015 DCAA updating DCAI Audit Report Writing Course DLA now requiring PL training for all employees


DOJ — 96 in 2014 Commerce — 1,050+ in 2013 & 2014 FDA — 580 in 2014 FCC — 880 since 2011 CDC — 2,436 in 2013 & 2014 USDA — 20,000 since 2011

Other agencies…


Results …


Case Study: Washington State

# biz paying use tax 3% 9%

target revenue $1.2M $2M


1¢ → 1$return on investment


Case Study: VBA


Case Study: VBA

Successful response

rate

Calls per month, per counselor

Calls per year, over 10

counselors

Old letter 43% 9.4 1,128


Case Study: VBA

Successful response

rate

Calls per month, per counselor

Calls per year, over 10

counselors

Old letter 43% 9.4 1,128New letter 65% 1.6 192

Estimated savings: $5M in staff time


92 forms; 1M copies

Processing time ↓10 min/form

Case Study: Canadian Government

Savings: 10 RFTs / year in processing time


What are the guidelines?


Creating plain writing through …

Words Sentences Paragraphs Audience focus


Plain language

Readability


Words


What do the guidelines say?

“Wordy, dense construction is one of the biggest problems...

Nothing is more confusing than long, complex sentences containing multiple phrases and clauses.”


Why???

Using a state-of-the-art test and development center, Leading Edge Solutions Center (LESC), our support will be focused on providing NAASC with a means to mitigate risk, cost overruns, and rapid results by offering efficiencies, through offsite Agile development, facilitating continuity of operations for NAASC with zero transition time and minimal risk, while transitioning future-state business vision to system workflow.

25


Use shorter words

accordingly facilitate immediately utilize subsequently expeditious

so help now use then fast

Instead of … Try …

26


Eliminate redundant words

stated requirements pre-planning new innovations data items end result knowledge and

information

requirements planning innovations data result pick one!

Redundant Clear

27


Reduce wordiness

until such time as have a need for make a decision to due to the fact that a sufficient number of on a monthly basis

until need decide because enough monthly

Wordy Simple



“Writers must become more critical of their own writing. They must consider whether they need every word.”

29


Impact on readability

The following past performance examples were selected because they directly illustrate our team’s extensive experience with other DOD clients.

These past performance examples show our team’s extensive experience with DOD clients.

Readability = 14.7 Readability = 8.7


7thgrade reading level



“Don’t sound so bureaucratic!” Allow contractions Limit jargon Reduce acronyms


Allow contractions

We are more than just a strong financial team. We understand where you have been and where you are headed.

We’re more than just a strong financial team. We understand where you’ve been and where you’re headed.



“Don’t have to use it in every instance possible … but use it where it sounds more natural.”


Avoid jargon

Necessary technical terms

Obscure, pretentious, unnecessarily fancy words


Technical terms

watchstanding warfighter ping run books tabletop exercises CPARS ratings ITIL Certification


Jargon

Don’t say Sayinvoluntarily undomiciled


Jargon

Don’t say Sayinvoluntarily undomiciled homeless


Jargon

Don’t say Sayinvoluntarily undomiciled homeless The patient is being given positive-pressure ventilatory support.


Jargon


The patient is on a respirator.


Jargon



Most refractory coatings to date exhibit a lack of reliability when subject to the impingement of entrained particulate matter in the propellant stream under extended firing durations.


Jargon



Most refractory coatings to date exhibit a lack of reliability when subject to the impingement of entrained particulate matter in the propellant stream under extended firing durations.

Exhaust gas eventually damages the coating of most ceramics.


Bizspeak

client-centric approach core competencies harvest efficiencies hit the ground running holistic leverage scalable

seamless integration speed innovation state-of-the-art synergy turnkey solution value-added win-win


“It’s all about your audience. Will they understand what you write?

If you know your readers will understand all the technical jargon in an RFP, you are good to go.

If they can’t, you are in trouble.”

— Michael Coogan, DOE


Sentences


Write short sentences

Express one idea per sentence “Long, complicated sentences often mean that you

aren’t sure about what you want to say.” “The audience loses the point in a forest of words.”


Ideal length

≤14words per sentence


With JTSystems, sales representatives can instantly check a customer’s credit, quickly source the needed products within the company’s global inventory, and ensure that the products are shipped to the customer on time, without having to “correct” a customer order when the day-old inventory report reveals a particular batch of printers is no longer in stock or available for shipping.


With JTSystems, sales representatives can instantly check a customer’s credit, quickly source the needed products within the company’s global inventory, and ensure that the products are shipped to the customer on time, without having to “correct” a customer order when the day-old inventory report reveals a particular batch of printers is no longer in stock or available for shipping.

59w 28th


With JTSystems, sales representatives can instantly check a customer’s credit, quickly source the needed products within the company’s global inventory, and ensure that the products are shipped to the customer on time.

They no longer must “correct” a customer order when the day-old inventory report reveals a particular batch of printers is no longer in stock or available for shipping.


With JTSystems, sales representatives can instantly check a customer’s credit, quickly source the needed products within the company’s global inventory, and ensure that the products are shipped to the customer on time.

They no longer must “correct” a customer order when the day-old inventory report reveals a particular batch of printers is no longer in stock or available for shipping.

30w 16th


With JTSystems, sales representatives can: Instantly check a customer’s credit Source the needed products within the company’s global

inventory Ensure that the products are shipped on time.

They no longer must “correct” an order when day-old inventory reports reveal certain printers are no longer in stock or available for shipping.


With JTSystems, sales representatives can: Instantly check a customer’s credit Source the needed products within the company’s global

inventory Ensure that the products are shipped on time.

They no longer must “correct” an order when day-old inventory reports reveal certain printers are no longer in stock or available for shipping.

15w 9th


28th → 9threadability


14 14 14 boring


206

13



Use active voice Clear, concise, and direct “Passive is characteristic of bureaucratese.”


Passive → Active

Reducing your working capital requirements is a fundamental role for our team.

Our team is focused on one thing: reducing your working capital requirements.


Passive → Active

Teaming partners were selected because of the synergy achieved between analytical depth and warfighter experience.

We selected teaming partners with analytical depth and warfighter experience.


Avoid hidden verbs

Verbs disguised as nouns Generally longer than their true verb forms “…makes our writing less effective and uses more

words than we need”


Hidden verbs

Conduct an analysis Perform an assessment Provide assistance Came to the conclusion

that

Analyze Assess Assist (or help) Concluded



“Verbs tell your audience what to do. Make sure they know who does what.”


Avoid noun strings

Readability suffers when you clump nouns together “Once you get past three nouns, it becomes

unbearable.”


Uncluster your nouns

Underground mine worker safety protection procedures development




Developing




Developing procedures




Developing procedures to protect the safety of workers




Developing procedures to protect the safety of workers in underground mines



Draft online privacy rights protection regulation creation

Creating




Creating draft regulations




Creating draft regulations to protect the privacy rights




Creating draft regulations to protect the privacy rights of citizens online


Use first person & personal pronouns

“Pronouns help the audience picture themselves in the text and relate better to your documents.”

“More than any other single technique, using ‘you’ pulls users into your document and makes it relevant to them.”


How?

Use we to refer to your company Use you for the customer


Impersonal → personal

Johnson & Smith will provide the necessary personnel to seamlessly transition General Electric to the Johnson & Smith Financial Program.

We will provide the necessary staff to seamlessly transition you to our program.


Stuffy → get r’ done

A meeting will be held with Johnson & Smith’s key personnel and General Electric’s team members to outline the implementation process.

We’ll meet with your team to plan the implementation.


Minimize abbreviations

“… a menace to prose …” “ … constantly require the reader to look back to earlier

pages, or consult and appendix, to puzzle out what’s being said.”


Use “nicknames”

For Instead of … Consider …Engineering Safety Advisory Committee Small-quantity handlers of universal wastes Fire and Police Employee Relations Act


Use “nicknames”

For Instead of … Consider …Engineering Safety Advisory Committee

ESAC

Small-quantity handlers of universal wastes

SQHUWs

Fire and Police Employee Relations Act

FPERA


Use “nicknames”

For Instead of … Consider …Engineering Safety Advisory Committee

ESAC the committee

Small-quantity handlers of universal wastes

SQHUWs waste handlers

Fire and Police Employee Relations Act

FPERA the Act


The committee is creating this Act to protect waste handlers.

ESAC is creating FPERA to protect SQHUWs.


Don’t define obvious acronyms

“…you’re taking up space and annoying your reader.” “If you’re writing to the FAA … the reader is not going to

be confused about what FAA means!”


Create a readable structure


Write short sections …

“Short sections break up material so it appears easier to comprehend.

Long, dense sections with no white space are visually unappealing.

They give the impression your document is difficult to understand.”


… and use lots of subheads

“Boldface section headings give your reader the best roadmap to your document.”


The Perils of Joint Ownership of IP

Equal isn’t always fair.

More owners means more red tape.

Collaboration doesn’t always mean cooperation.

Joint ownership can be a barrier to licensing.

The solution: Be clear about terms


Ideal length

≤7lines per paragraph


Use lists

Help reader focus on important material Make it easy for the reader to identify all items or steps

in a process Add blank space for easy reading


Eeeek

The share of oil revenues in UAE’s GDP dropped from 43.4% in 2001 to 32.7% in 2012. Knowledge-based industries and services increased their share of GDP over the same period from 32.1% to 37.5%. The UAE has positioned itself as a global leader in real estate, renewable energy and aviation, and a regional hub for financial services and tourism by innovating and taking on large bets in game-changing developments such as the tallest tower in the world, the world’s most sustainable eco-city, one of the largest airlines worldwide, and state-of-the art infrastructure. The UAE has positioned itself as a global leader in real estate, renewable energy and aviation, and a regional hub for financial services and tourism by innovating and taking on large bets in game-changing developments.


Aaahh

The share of oil revenues in UAE’s GDP dropped from 43.4% in 2001 to 32.7% in 2012. Knowledge-based industries and services increased their share of GDP over the same period from 32.1% to 37.5%. The UAE has positioned itself as a global leader in: real estate renewable energy aviation financial services.

The country has done this by innovating and taking on large bets in game-changing developments.


Payment of the penalty is through the federal income tax return and is $95 per individual and $285 per family in 2014 or 1 percent of family income whichever is greater.

The 2014 penalty is whichever of these is more:

• $95 per individual• $285 per family• 1% of family income

If you owe a penalty, you’ll pay through your federal income tax return.


Use tables

Scannable Makes it easy to take in complex material at a glance Saves words


§ 163.25 Forest management deductions. a. Pursuant to the provisions of 25 U.S.C. 413 and 25 U.S.C. 3105, a forest management deduction shall be withheld from the gross proceeds of sales of Indian forest land as described in this section. b. Gross proceeds shall mean the value in money or money’s worth of consideration furnished by the purchaser of forest products purchased under a contract, permit, or other document for the sale of forest products. c. Forest management deductions shall not be withheld where the total consideration furnished under a document for the sale of forest products is less than $5,001. d. Except as provided in § 163.25(e) of this part, the amount of the forest deduction shall not exceed the lesser amount of ten percent (10%) of the gross proceeds or, the actual percentage in effect on November 28, 1990. e. The Secretary may increase the forest management deduction percentage for Indian forest land upon receipt of a written request from a tribe supported by a written resolution executed by the authorized tribal representatives. At the request of the authorized tribal representatives and at the discretion of the Secretary the forest management deduction percentage may be decreased to not less than one percent (1%) or the requirement for collection may be waived.


§ 163.25 Will BIA withhold any forest management deductions?

If … and … then the percentage of the deduction is:

a tribe requests an increase in the deduction through a tribal resolution





they send us a written request






the percentage requested by the tribe.







an authorized tribal representative requests a decrease in the deduction








we approve the decrease








we approve the decrease the percentage requested, with a 1% minimum.









an authorized tribal representative requests a waiver of the deduction

we approve the waiver waived.

none of the above conditions applies the percentage in effect on November 28, 1990, or 10%, whichever is less.


§ 163.25 Forest management deductions. a. Pursuant to the provisions of 25 U.S.C. 413 and 25 U.S.C. 3105, a forest management deduction shall be withheld from the gross proceeds of sales of Indian forest land as described in this section. b. Gross proceeds shall mean the value in money or money’s worth of consideration furnished by the purchaser of forest products purchased under a contract, permit, or other document for the sale of forest products. c. Forest management deductions shall not be withheld where the total consideration furnished under a document for the sale of forest products is less than $5,001. d. Except as provided in § 163.25(e) of this part, the amount of the forest deduction shall not exceed the lesser amount of ten percent (10%) of the gross proceeds or, the actual percentage in effect on November 28, 1990. e. The Secretary may increase the forest management deduction percentage for Indian forest land upon receipt of a written request from a tribe supported by a written resolution executed by the authorized tribal representatives. At the request of the authorized tribal representatives and at the discretion of the Secretary the forest management deduction percentage may be decreased to not less than one percent (1%) or the requirement for collection may be waived.









an authorized tribal representative requests a waiver of the deduction

we approve the waiver waived.

none of the above conditions applies the percentage in effect on November 28, 1990, or 10%, whichever is less.


Audience


Focus on the reader

Not … What do I want to say about

me? How can I achieve my

goals? What can I do to impress

them?

But … What does the reader need

to know? How can I address their

needs? What issues are important

to them?


CO Detector Update: The Coast Guard has conducted an investigation to determine what carbon monoxide (CO) detection devices are available to recreational boaters, such that, when installed and activated could reduce the risk of being exposed to high levels of CO, that silent killer. A variety of technologies are available for detecting the presence of CO on boats and should be considered by recreational boaters to reduce their risk of injury or death while boating.


Carbon monoxide is a silent killer. The Coast Guard recommends that you use a carbon monoxide detector on your boat to reduce the risk of being exposed to high levels of CO.


Does this all really matter?


— Tara Dunlop, OMB


— Katharine Spivey, GSA


— Cynthia Baur, CDC


— Maureen Wood, USDA


Questions


Let’s implement


Choose the right time

While you’re writing? After, while you’re editing?


AFTERwhile you are editing!


When can you edit?

Right away? No!

Overnight After a walk After a half hour


Use a checklist


Samantha EnslenPresidentDragonfly Editorial937-216-9323 [email protected] @DragonflyEdit

Contact Us

APMPPO Box 77272Washington, DC20013-7272 Phone: +1 - (202) 450-2549www.apmp.org


“Like other Government agencies, NASA adheres to the Plain Writing Act of 2010 … other organizations are welcome to also use those guidelines for enhancing

clarity and readability when producing their own documents.”

— Gina Hall, NASA


Extra slides


“DoD’s plain language policy applies only to our internal documents and any information prepared for the

public. However, it seems logical that any proposals prepared for the Department should be clearly and

concisely written.

— Kate Ives, DoD


Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere. Start by getting something -- anything -- down on paper. A friend of mine says that the first draft is the down draft -- you just get it down. The second draft is the up draft -- you fix it up.


Keep in mind the average reader’s level of technical expertise

Write to everyone who might read, not just to experts Remember that even an expert will prefer a clearly

written document!

— Principles of Plain Language, Plain Language Actionand Information Network


— Karen V. Gregory, FMC

Understanding the Federal Plain Language Guidelines.

Documents

Transcript of Understanding the Federal Plain Language Guidelines.