The Best Commit Messages of 2017

University of Chicago – CMSC 23300 Networks and Distributed Systems

Before we begin, let's take a look back at the...

Top Ten Commit Messages of All Time

10. IT WAS THE LOOOOOOOOOCKS

9. i love the smell of segfaults in the morning

8. Made host a global (eat your heart out borja)

7. AND NOW THE UNS■■TTENING BEGINS

6. well, nothing works, all tests fail, and i have no idea how to implement this RFC, but it's not immidiately segfaulting, so, i've got that going for me

5. The night is dark and full of errors

4. how the f■■k did I pass two more tests? I only fixed one of them. this is gonna bite me in the ass later isn't it? f■■k me

3. oh my god, it's spelled LUSERS, not LUSER

2. last push of the night

jk can't stop

1. worked an additional day, finished everything but send function is clearly broken so test all fail. this is hell on earth. I would pray to God, but I don't know how to correctly send messages.

And give an honorable mention to...

The Best Branch Names of 2017broken_modesdirty_branchdoesnt_work

final-fixes-reallyhelpk

newnew-new

not_Packet_Arrival_stuffone-i-break

oopssegfault

ugh-here-we-go-again

The Best Commit Messages of 2017

$ grep “^[^a-z]\+$” commits.txtDONE

DONEZO

DONEZOZO

I FIXED IT

FIXED THE STUPID POINTER ISSUE I HATE U SIMCLIST UAIHSKJDFHAKSJDHAKJSDHKJASDHKJASDHJKASDH

HIGH CONCEPT MISCELLANEOUS INTERACTIONS

WHY IS MALLOC NOT WORKING

HOW IS A FALSE CONDITION TRUE WTF

$ grep \! commits.txtImprovements!

Whoops!

added function comments! nice

PRIVMSG is written and works! Oh happy day!

meat grinder!

yaymake all!

FASHION! (allman style fix)

frees and strncpys and null terminators, oh my!

$ grep "^...$" commits.txt | sort -u

;_;50.78.abcbrbfixfmlgahhey

hmmhowhuhidkIDKlolloxmehmsg

WhoWHOwhyWIPyahyayYAYYEY

nvmomgplsstutwoughUGHwatwho

$ grep "^....$" commits.txt | sort -u

ahhhasdfasfdawayAwayAWAYayyybackblahbuffday1docsdone

DONEeeeeenumeughfakefindF■■k■■■■halphehehelpinitjoin

oopspartpingPINGpongpushquitQUITqwersdlfsendSendsoei

JOINlegoListLISTlocklogsloopmainMoremotdMOTDmyehNow?

temptermtestTesttry1ugh2userwhatwork?y??Yay?yeahYEAS

$ grep -i bug commits.txt | wc --lines662

$ grep -i bug commits.txtbuggy

Bugs maybe fixed?

Maybe this is an Apple bug

fixed p2a bug. some serious amateur hour going on

caused a weird bug

fixed the weird bug

and back to debugging we go

continuing to weather an unending stream of debugging

all previous tests work, now time to debug this out of order shiz nit

I've tried debugging stuff idk if I did anything useful

$ grep -i bug commits.txtFound the bug that made simultaneous_close fail. It now passes. I would weep tears of joy if I were not sitting in CSIL, so I'll have to make do with committing my success.

Our (hopefully) last bug has been tracked down from p2a. Life is sweet and beautiful once more. Huzzah.

Another bug fixed with regards to teardowns. Good news: less broken. Bad news: still broken. Worse news: not sure if it's really less broken, or if we're deluding ourselves.

$ grep -i segfault commits.txtFixed Segfault

Revert "Fixed Segfault"

Tried to fix the segfault and failed... :(

can't push because it segfaults when you quit on telnet but in a good place atm

oops, compiles now. rando segfaults though

free is so weird wtf also chilog fixed all my segfaults LOL

$ grep -i test commits.txt

pass a test . a WHOLE TEST

passing a test somehow...

We got 3 tests passed for literally doing nothing

ALL TESTS PASS OMG

FINALLY PASSING ALL THE TEST BC I GOT RID OF A FREE STATEMENT THAT MAKES NO SEEENSE

more bugfixing, passes 37 tests on a good day

this is janky af, but all the tests work. We'll have to find abetter way.

$ grep -i what commits.txtdon't really know what to do here

don't know what these are

What are these files what did I do.

i dont remember what i changed

I don't even know what is going on anymore

idk what i even did

what is going on

what is wrong with chilog???????????????????????????

what are threads

$ grep -i god commits.txttheres one more test goddamit

god dammit this is obnoxious

OH GOD YES

GOD BLESS OMG WE R DUN

I FIXED THE PRIVATE MESSAGE THANK U AGAIN GDB. GNU DEBUGGER? MORE LIKE GODDAMN-GREAT DEBUGGER

$ grep -i borja commits.txtBorja makes fixes. Thanks Borja

literally only inserted 2 spaces #style #borja

Upstream changes with love from Borja et al.

fix parser by following Uncle Borja's advice

Thanks for taking my life from me Borja

$ grep -i csil commits.txt

still updating comments csil is closing

basic out of order buffering working (kicked out of csil)

lol getting kicked out of csil

YAY CSIL OPEN

$ grep -i hate commits.txti hate git

i hate parenthesis

i hate locks. i hate simclist

hate merging...

I hate writing comments so ooooooooooo much

FIXED THE STUPID POINTER ISSUE I HATE U SIMCLIST UAIHSKJDFHAKSJDHAKJSDHKJASDHKJASDHJKASDH

$ grep -i git commits.txti dont like git

i hate git

i f■■king hate git

please be kind git

please work git :(

git doesn't make any sense and i wish that everything in life was handed to me

$ grep -i f■■k commits.txt

f■■king typo

YA F■■KED UP

f■■k privmsg

fin f■■kery

construct f■■ky welcome message, WIP

F■■KING WHAT THE HELL IS THIS

holy f■■k simclist

f■■k if i know how to use uthash

unf■■kify(everything)

don't f■■k using print statements to debug, dont use chilog to debug, use f■■king GDB and dont waste two hours on something that takes 2 minutes with G F■■KING D B F■■K segfaults

Commit messages can be...punny

Dr WHOIS

JOIN US

PARTing is such sweet sorrow

Chanel No 5

Whats in a NAME

WHOIS that

Commit messages can be...musical

do you believe in life after love?

i can feel something inside me say: i really don't think you're strong enough, noooooooooo

get into the groove, boy you've got to prove your love for me

music can be such a revelation, dancing around you feel the sweet sensation

goodbye depeche_mode

Commit messages can be...philosophical

like, im happy. but why?

is this real life

Sometimes we must pay for the hubris of our previous selves. 'Where is this bug coming from?' 'Why is my server struct not serving things correctly?' 'It's weird, but not breaking things in 1b. Better just move on to more important things and leave it as a problem for future ■■■■, if it even becomes a problem.' But no. It was a problem. It was a huge problem. It was a six hour debugging session problem because I mismalloced my server struct and ran out of memory repeatedly. Sometimes we pay for the speed of our code writing, and our blind faith in our own abilities. Pride cometh before the fall...

Commit messages can be...self-deprecating

Committing changes for the night. Some bug tracking, a lot of it ineffective (just like our project AYOOOOO)

I find it amazing that I am able to transfer things between branches without breaking every computer that has ever existed

here's hoping my string skills are still up to snuffPSA: they aren't

Commit messages can be...concerned with the style guide

snake_case_is_the_best

I love documentation

perfect score, poor style

Added more comments. I am waaaaaaaaaaaay to paranoid about the style and correctness sections. I need this to be over so I can rest my mind

The sad thing is, I know that I will be back tomorrow scouring over thousands of lines of codes just to make sure all of it adheres to the style guide for a few points.

them style points tho...

Anal retentively modified all lines over 80 chars except the one's originally put into the code you hypocrites. Did you know the opposite of Anal Retentive is Anal Expulsive?

Commit messages can...reveal (often questionable)

software practices

Hacky methods abound

note to self: always compile before committing

I dont think I changed anything but i also edited the code at 230am and dont really remember. best to be safe and recklessly commit it.

should stop coding in civ class

Why am I working in the master branch

shouldn't be in the master branch

oh god what mistakes did I add to master

Commit messages can...defy categorization

The scene in which our hero figures out what on earth is going on

mo structs mo money

parsed any good messages recently \?

bagels and mutex lox

git in lusers we are going shopping

Commit messages can be...born out of frustration

don't want to do this right now

I really just want to fix this

I just want this to work

I just want this to be over

i think it's as good as it's getting

idk anything anymore. I just want to go home. Please make it stop. PLEASE.

tfw you are just bad

I am not done, but I am going to bed soooooooooo

im not driving myself insane over 2.5 points

Spurious wakeups are keeping me up at night

omg literally what the hell it's one thing it's another, it's not even being handled by a thread for christsssake!

thread problem fixed, it was simclist all along goddamit i spent 50 minutes on this why

i f■■king hate the IETF and ISOC for being sneaky af for creating rfc1122 (i will remember this number forever in my anger) and not appending to rfc793 WHY CANT THEY JUST ADMIT THEY F■■KED UP ON THE SPOT

it is 7:03 on a monday night. i should not want to drink right now

But, most of all,commit messages can be...

happy

NOICE

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

it woooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkssssssssss

THINGS R FIXED HOORAY

YAAAASSSSSSSSS GAWD

OMGOMGOMGOGMOGM 100/100

we done bitches. and it's f■■king amazing.

working timer thingie!

oh baby this stuff is workin its good

oh im good arent i

we're done, and it looks really good

oh my goodness it works

I would like to thank Borja and the entire CS department for allowing me to finish in time to watch The Bachelor

HOOOOOOLY F■■KING S■■T i just ran out of my sorority's chapter in order to get this commit in and IT REALLY REALLY WORKS I NEVER THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD COME but now i have 150 sorority girls walking past me frantically struggling with git and screaming in joy on the floor and i think they think i'm unstable

WELL BUTTER MY BUTT AND CALL ME A BISCUIT, GUESS WHO GOT

THE TESTS PASSING?