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OUT OF THE SHADOWS A NEWSLETTER FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE GRIEVING
FOR SOMEONE LOST TO SUICIDE
Issue 11 | March/April 2015
Table of Contents
It’s true that she’s always in the back of my mind.
But she’s not always on my mind.
When I think of her now, I remember her warmly.
I rarely cry anymore out of hurt or anger.
But there are times when something can throw me right back to that day.
And the depth of my feelings of loss and pain once again equal the depth
of my love for her.
And I cry. I hurt.
But it reminds me all the more that she will always be part of my life, and
she’s special enough to care about.
Time has healed me.
But time has not made me forget.
by Janis Keyser Heil
In memory of Jessica
Even Bikers Get the Blues 2
I’m Gonna Hold On 4
As Long As 4
Inside the Darkness 5
Remembrances 6
Grief Support and Survivor’s Meeting 7
Need Help Right Now? 7
TSPN Regional Meetings 8
At left: The “Love Never Dies” Memorial Quilt from 2012, unveiled during
that year’s Suicide Prevention Awareness Day event in Nashville. These
quilts are routinely displayed at TSPN suicide educational and awareness
events all over Tennessee.
This is an ongoing project, and TSPN is interested in receiving panels for
future quilts. Anyone is welcome to contribute a quilt square, no matter
how long ago you lost someone or how active you are in TSPN. Also, there
is no charge to memorialize anyone on the quilt.
More information about the "Love Never Dies" quilt project is available at
http://tspn.org/quilt. Any additional questions may be directed to
Karyl Chastain Beal, chair of our Quilt Committee, at
[email protected] or (931) 388-9289.
Thoughts on an Anniversary
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OUT OF THE SHADOWS Issue 11 | March/April 2015 2
The Tennessee Suicide Prevention Network is partnering with local
suicide prevention activist Chuck Lambert, his wife Dorothy, and Harley-
Davidson dealerships across Tennessee to stage V13ION (pronounced
“vision”), a motorcycle rally planned for Labor Day Weekend 2015.
For the last four years, Chuck has organized and hosted a ride at his
business, Breezin Metal Works, in the southeastern part of the state to
honor the memory of his son and raise awareness for suicide prevention.
Chad “Chubbs” Lambert was an accomplished tattoo artist, motocross
racer, and just starting to gain recognition for his paintings when he lost
his life to suicide in 2010. Past events have involved 400 participants and
raised funds that went directly to first responders for suicide prevention.
This year, Chuck, Dorothy, the Jason Foundation, Inc., TSPN, and Harley
-Davidson dealerships across Tennessee are joining forces to take our
V13ION statewide: no more lives lost, no more hearts torn by suicide.
The event will include a memorial ride for all Tennesseans that have lost
their lives to suicide, with check-in stations at local Harley-Davidson
dealerships—each one offering information and resources about mental
health and suicide prevention. Individual riders, as well as teams, will
collect pledges ahead of the event, with a custom-built reverse-flow
smoker with trailer awarded to the dealership that raises the most funds
for suicide awareness and prevention.
The following is Chuck’s account of how his grief over his son’s death led
to the establishment of this project.
On May 22, 2010, I got the news that no one ever wants to receive: my oldest son had committed suicide on his 36th birthday. Chad had
moved to Texas 16 years ago to follow his dreams and passion as a tattoo artist. He had become very successful in the tattoo business and
was also becoming recognized for his paintings and photography. Chad had fallen into depression; close friends brushed it off as something
that would pass and just part of dealing with the success and failures of life. We know now that Chad had not been himself for a long time;
his depression had not just come about, it had actually been coming on for years.
After his death I was totally overwhelmed with guilt, I blamed myself, I blamed others, I blamed Chad. I prayed more then I ever had in my
life, asking God for help. I didn’t know what to do; there was and still is an emptiness that I cannot explain but I knew I had to figure out
some way to survive myself. I began learning more than I thought possible about suicide and suicidal tendencies. I went on the Out of the
Darkness walks; I’m reading everything I can. I learned that suicide is an epidemic, it’s outpacing all types of other illnesses, I learned that
depression is a disease and not just a wimpy excuse like I had always thought. I decided I needed to get involved to help raise awareness and
to make a difference in Chad’s honor and to also give me a sense of purpose. Chad and I shared a strong passion for riding motorcycles so I
decided I’d have a memorial ride in his honor.
In 2011 I invited family and friends to spend the weekend with me riding motorcycles and celebrating Chad’s life. I set up camping facilities
for RV’s and tent campers at my shop, arranged discounts at area motels and worked with all the different police departments our
motorcycle ride would be traveling through. We had 60 motorcycles and around 125 people attended the first year.
We had such a great response I decided to do it again, only next time we’d try and raise money to donate to our cause. I built a 20-foot all-
aluminum motorcycle trailer for a raffle. I organized the first-ever motorcycle ride into the closed Brushy Mount Prison. We had 106
motorcycles and around 175 people attend.
(continued on page 3)
Even Bikers Get the Blues
This photo of Chad is from a gallery assembled by his friend Aaron “Reemer”
Remkus, a professional photographer based out of Arlington, Texas. More
photos of Chad are available on the website of Remkus’s studio 11Kphotos
(www.11kphotos.com/chad_lambert).
V13ION takes its name from the number 13, Chad’s motocross racing
number. It also draws attention to the fact that someone in the United States
dies by suicide every 13 minutes on average, according to the latest figures
from the American Association of Suicidology.
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OUT OF THE SHADOWS Issue 11 | March/April 2015
Even Bikers Get the Blues (continued)
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The third year we built a 10-foot reverse flow smoker and trailer for raffle, had 90 motorcycles, and around
200 people attend. The fourth year we built a smoker grill combo, had 125 motorcycles and 250 people
attend.
While organizing our 200-300 mile rides, working with all the rural police and sheriff’s departments, I learned
they all were underfunded for training their first responders in suicide, awareness, prevention, and PTSD. So I
decided that would be where we donated the monies raised.
After this year’s event I was totally exhausted; as much as I loved what I was doing I knew in my heart that I
could not continue. My business, my home, and most importantly my family and health were suffering
because I was 100% committed to the event. I told my wife and some very close friends that this was it, that I
wasn’t doing another. I still wanted to help, but I couldn’t continue on this scale; it had just gotten way bigger
then what I could do alone. I was very hesitant to announce it was over because in my heart I wanted to
continue. Then out of the blue I got an e-mail about some group called TSPN wanting to create a license tag
for suicide prevention. I called the number, got put on their distribution list,
and attended my first meeting in August 2014. I met some amazing people
that shared my passion for making a difference and for four years never
knew they existed.
I shared my story and what my original V13ION had been, but how
exhausted I had become over the past several years and how I didn’t want
to stop but I couldn’t carry on. Already feeling out of place in this meeting
since I was the only tattooed-biker-type amongst a room full of
professionals, I was totally taken aback by the warm loving reception I was
given.
For the first time in four years, I had finally found a group that
understood me and we shared the same V13ION. I had found my home.
Catch the V13ION
More information about V13ION is available on
the TSPN website (http://tspn.org/v13ion).
To register for the event itself, go to
http://v13ion.eventbrite.com.
Also check the dealership donation track
(https://sites.google.com/site/v13iontrack) to
check on how much money your favorite
dealership has raised.
Top left: Chuck and Dorothy Fults-Lambert at a previous
motorcycle rally on the site of the former Brushy Mountain
State Penitentiary. Other photos from previous rallies are
featured at left and bottom.
At right: Chuck Lambert (third from right), TSPN Executive
Director Scott Ridgway (second from right) and others pose
for a group photo at Boswell's Harley-Davidson in Nashville,
having visited the shop to promote V13ION.
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OUT OF THE SHADOWS Issue 11 | March/April 2015 4
“Out of the Shadows” wants your articles,
poetry, prose, and artwork for the next issue and the ones to
come. We’ll also need suggestions and recommendations on
how we can make it better.
If there’s a piece you want to submit to the newsletter, send it
to [email protected] with the subject line “OOS Submission”.
Feedback and suggestions can also be sent to this address with
the subject line “OOS Feedback”.
I’m Gonna Hold On
Lyrics copyright 2010 Richard Carl Evans.
Listen to Richard perform the song at
http://youtu.be/wNwHBUaCcd8.
I know there are no promises for tomorrow.
All must meet their maker someday.
And now that you’re gone, I’ll be strong
I’ll hang on to the memories from yesterday.
Let me say here and now, I thank you
For what you gave and what you left behind.
Your kind words and helping hand
have made me understand
That those who give can never die.
I’m gonna hold on to your laughter,
I’m gonna hold on to your smile,
I’m gonna hold on to the good times we
shared together.
Together you and I, yes I’m gonna hold on.
And now that you’re gone, I’ll be strong.
I’ll hold on to the memories from yesterday.
I’m gonna hold on to your laughter,
I’m gonna hold on to your smile,
I’m gonna hold on to the good times we
shared together.
Together you and I, yes I’m gonna hold on.
As long as I can dream,
As long as I can think,
As long as I have memory ...
I will love you.
As long as I have eyes to see,
And ears to hear
And lips to speak ...
I will love you.
As long as I have a heart to feel,
A soul stirring within me,
An imagination to hold you ...
I will love you.
As long as there is time,
As long as there is love
As long as I have a breath to speak your name ...
I will love you.
Because I loved you more
than anything in all
the world.
by Daniel Haughton
As Long As
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Remembrances
OUT OF THE SHADOWS Issue 11 | March/April 2015 6
If you would like to remember
your loved one in
“Out of the Shadows”,
please send your loved one’s name,
birth date, death date, your name,
and your email address to [email protected]
with the subject line
“Remembrance.”
Dustin Kyle Puckett
3/1/1968-12/9/2002
Steven H. Honeycutt
3/1/1975-1/18/2012
Jeffery Alan Burnett
3/1/1983-5/1/2007
Larry G. Roark
3/5/1943-9/4/2011
Michael Moore Beckwith
3/5/1952-1/4/2000
Timothy Gill
3/6/1961-5/7/2000
David Clifton Deveraux
3/6/1965-8/20/2006
Billy “Bill” Sherill Lowe
9/11/1938-3/6/2013
Daniel Owen Hepburn
3/9/1973-2/20/2010
Tiffany Ann Cantrell
3/9/1981-7/22/2006
Marla Irwin Byrd
3/11/1967-2/28/1991
Debbie Gulliot
3/12/1959-11/27/2004
Nicholas James Aanderud
2/21/1986-3/13/2011
Marianne Woodruff
8/18/1932-3/12/2014
Rebecca Annette Holt Johnson
4/30/1944-3/14/1999
Michael Lee Culbreath
3/15/1965-6/22/2004
Shep Case
5/27/1993-3/17/2009
David Christopher Cotton
12/5/1988-3/17/2010
Dylan James Pitman
3/18/1992-6/17/2013
Andrew McQueen Carroll
4/18/1976-8/14/2010
Brenda Chouinard Gagnon
6/2/1974-4/19/2013
Jennifer Shea Atnip
1/14/1975-4/21/2002
Joseph James "Joe" Costal
1/24/1981-4/23/2013
Kimberly Kerfien
4/24/1968-6/9/2007
Paul John Sanders
12/31/1974-4/24/2005
Susan Nye Woehr
4/25/1947-10/28/2007
Lowell Ratcliff
4/26/1924-5/18/2008
Jeffrey Adam Presnell
8/18/1989-4/27/2011
Sean McKitrick
11/28/1984-4/28/2004
Juanita Suzette Douglas
12/3/1949-4/28/2007
Terry Lynn Nelson
4/29/1957-12/25/2006
Flora Elizabeth Burridge
5/30/1963-4/29/2003
NOTE:
Flora and Marc Burridge are
husband and wife.
Kimberly Kerfien and Corey Onken are
mother and son.
Philip Woodrow Robertson
3/24/1969-7/18/1989
Matthew Lawrence Cook
3/25/1972-2/15/2012
Timothy Wallace Lehr
8/14/1965-3/25/2008
Marc Anthony Burridge
3/27/1967-6/30/2003
John Matthew “Matt” Brittingham
3/30/1977-7/5/2006
Scott Zingheim
8/20/1962-3/31/2011
John Steven Trewhella
2/1/1955-4/3/2014
Eric James Powell
4/4/1972-5/17/1999
Jarid Michael Henry
4/4/1988-6/8/2003
Roger Dale Smith, Jr.
11/15/1985-4/4/2010
Steven Ray Morris
10/15/1980-4/5/2001
Tyler Holcomb Dickson
9/5/1979-4/6/2003
Harley David Snider
4/7/1979-10/15/1994
Matthew Stephen Burson
4/8/1980-7/28/2011
Richard Allen LaBonte
12/24/1943-4/11/2007
Corey Onken
12/8/1988-4/13/2006
Hugh Martin Mitchell, Jr.
12/20/1955-4/14/1998
Early Lee White
2/20/1950-4/15/2007
Anne Greenfield Dyer
4/30/1955-4/16/2012
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OUT OF THE SHADOWS Issue 11 | March/April 2015
West Tennessee
Memphis
Healing Hearts Suicide Grief Support Group
Kerry Mitchell
(901) 743-4701
Middle Tennessee
Centerville
Left Behind By Suicide
Rosa Newton
(931) 996-1225
Clarksville
Survivors of Suicide
Cindy Johnson
(931) 206-5653
Columbia
GRief After SuicideS (GRASS)
Karyl Chastain Beal
(931) 388-9289
1st Thursday of each month
grief-after-suicide.com
Cookeville
“Journey” grief support groups
(931) 525-2600
Franklin
Survivors of Suicide
(615) 244-7444
Murfreesboro
Survivors of Suicide
Karen Potratz
(615) 904-8623, extension 53
Survivors of Suicide
(615) 244-7444
Nashville
Survivors of Suicide
(615) 244-7444
Spring Hill
Left Behind By Suicide
Douglas Johnson
(615) 435-9621
East Tennessee
Chattanooga
SITE (Suicide Isn’t the End)
Gloria Hastings
(423) 544-7608 for meeting times
Jefferson City
ComPaSS
Cynthia Lynn
(865) 680-3256
Johnson City/Gray
Tri-Cities Survivors of Suicide
Linda Harold [email protected]
Harold Leonard [email protected]
Heather Barnett [email protected]
(423) 913-1255 or 245-5608
Knoxville
Suicide Grievers Support Group
Paula J. Alexander, LCSW, CGC
(865) 671-9631
Maryville
Blount County Survivors of Suicide
Barbara Lasater
(865) 984-4223
For more information on survivors’ groups and for
information on other survivors’ groups
outside Tennessee proper which have members
from Tennessee (in other words, far eastern
Tennessee and the Memphis area ), please visit
http://tspn.org/for-survivors-of-suicide.
Grief Support & Survivors’ Meetings
Need Help Right Now?
Losing a loved one to suicide is emotionally overwhelming. Survivors of
suicide are at risk for attempting suicide because of the emotional upheaval
they are experiencing. Feelings of hopelessness, feeling trapped, feeling
like a burden to others, increased alcohol or drug consumption, sleeping too
little or too much, and withdrawing or feeling isolated from others are signs
that you or a loved one may need help now.
If you or a loved one are feeling suicidal, please seek help immediately. Call
the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK or visit
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
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OUT OF THE SHADOWS Issue 11 | March/April 2015
TSPN works across the state to eliminate the stigma of suicide and educate communities about the warning signs
of suicide, with the ultimate goal of reducing suicide rates in the state of Tennessee. TSPN’s continued success is
due in large part to volunteers willing to donate their time and energy. If you would like to volunteer with TSPN,
please call (615) 297-1077 or e-mail [email protected].
TSPN Regional Meetings East Tennessee Region (monthly, 3rd Thursday, 12:15 PM)
Third Floor Conference Room, Cherokee Health Systems, 2018 Western Avenue, Knoxville, 37921
Memphis/Shelby County Region (monthly, 3rd Tuesday, 11:30 AM)
Memphis Crisis Centers Training Facility, 70 North Pauline, Memphis, 38105
Mid-Cumberland Region (monthly, 2nd Thursday, 9:30 AM)
Tennessee Voices for Children, 701 Bradford Avenue, 37204
Northeast Region (monthly, 4th Tuesday, 10:30 AM)
Boone’s Creek Christian Church, 305 Christian Church Road, Gray, 37615
Rural West (monthly, 3rd Wednesday, 10:30 AM)
Behavioral Health Initiatives, 36C Sandstone Circle, Jackson, 38305
South Central (monthly, 1st Wednesday, 11:00 AM)
Conference Room A, South Central Regional Health Office, 1216 Trotwood Avenue, Columbia, 38401
Southeast Region (monthly, 1st Thursday, 10:00 AM)
Mental Health Cooperative of Chattanooga, 801 North Holtzclaw Avenue, Suite 101, Chattanooga, 37404
Upper Cumberland Region (monthly, 4th Thursday, 9:00 AM)
Volunteer Behavioral Health, 1200 Willow Avenue, Cookeville, 38502
Blount County Mental Health Awareness and Suicide Prevention Alliance (monthly, 1st Friday, 12:00 PM)
Boys and Girls Club Meeting Room, Fort Craig Elementary School, 520 South Washington Street, Maryville, 37804
Giles County Suicide Prevention Task Force (quarterly, 3rd Monday, 1:30 PM)
Giles County Career Center, 125 South Cedar Lane, Pulaski, 38478
Hickman-Perry County Suicide Prevention Task Force (monthly, 4th Friday, 1:30 PM)
Senior Care Building, Hickman Community Hospital, 135 East Swan Street, Centerville, 37033
Montgomery-Houston-Humphreys-Stewart Suicide Prevention Task Force (bi-monthly, 1st Tuesday, 9 AM)
Youth Villages, 651 Stowe Court, Clarksville, 37040
Rutherford County Suicide Prevention Coalition (monthly, 1st Tuesday, 6 PM)
TrustPoint Hospital, 1009 North Thompson Lane, Murfreesboro, 37129
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