TX Citizen 4.25.13

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13

1/16

VOLUME TWO

I S S U E 17

04 .25 .13

Debut : F rank ie "The Onion" Onion | We Ru in Movies | Be ing Bubba

There'sanawarenessoffash

ioninthiscountry,andit'sn

otlimitedtogaypeople.

Calvin

Klein

$1,653,750

P LUS : 7 DAY NEW BRAUNFE LS/SAN MARCOS L IVE MUS IC GU IDE

P LUS : 7 DAY NEW BRAUNFE LS/SAN MARCOS L IVE MUS IC GU IDE

Who areYOUwearing this season?Fashion - Page 6

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13

2/16

TXCITIZEN

1111

N.

Wa

lnut

Avenue

NewB

raun

fels

,TX78130

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.9563

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inalcontentiscopyright

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ST

AFF/

CONTACT

Publisher/Editor-in-ChieMike

Reyno

lds

DirectoroDistribution

Cha

seCoc

hran

ArtDirector

Kayla

Wa

llace

Ed

itorial:news@

txci

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Ad

vertising:sa

les@

txci

tizen.c

om

Distribution:

distribut

ion@

txci

tizen.c

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PHOTOC

RED

ITS

Cover:

Ch

ase

Cochran

Fashion:

Aman

da

Cochr

an

Sports:

Vance

Mu

llins

2 AD SALES 830.483.9563

table of contents

1st WordIntroducing FrankieThe Onion Onion. 3

Being BubbaCheerwine. Whatever that is. 15

SportsBeltsandin'.

Citizen on TourPeople go places and takeus with em!

Best of the WurstKneel before the 2013champions!

14

12

Sound Out Of TownBecause Austin and San Antoniooccasionally have live music too.

SpoilersWe se e mo vi es so yo u do n t ha ve to .

The CountysMost WantedLook, Mommy! Daddys in the paper!

Ask a MexicanGustavo offends in two languages.

8

13

Citizen SoundcheckThe ONLY guide of its kind for

the NB/SM Metroplex!

6FashionThe Landmark gets erce.

Advice fromUncle Esel

Got a problem? You will..

The Beer HunterWhe n Mi tc hel l dri nk s,

we all le arn so me th in g.

Help Wanted

Get yo job on.DiversionsKaraoke, trivia, pool tourneys,and such.7

10

CalendarStuff to do.Go do stuff.5

11

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WORD

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13

3/16

Chuck Baxleys

ASSISTANCE IN LIVING CO.Landscaping Tree Services

Fencing Rock Work Estate MgmtShredding Site Clean-Up & Hauling

830.832.2033 2553 FM 1044

24 Beers on Tap - Full Bar

Live Entertainment - Pool Tables

BLACK WHALE PUB367 Main Plaza 830-625-6605

PAUL J. SMITHAttorney at Law

Board Certified in Criminal LawTexas Board of Legal Specialization

651 S. Walnut

Suite D #228New Braunfels, Tx 78130

830-832-1534

[email protected]

W I N N E R ! B E S T T AT T O O S T U D I O !

Karaoke Thursday & Sunday

DJs Wednesday Friday Saturday

118 Common St.

830.387.4466

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TXCITIZEN.COM 3

Corporate Welare Report

Although hes no longer with

The Scooter Store, ormerStore VP in charge o

Medicare Compliance, Tim

Zipp, is still President o the

Citys 4-B Board. That entity is

currently embroiled in a lawsuit against

the Store or nearly $4 million in taxpayer

largess that the Store was given as part o

deal to keep them in New Braunels instead

o picking up stakes and moving to San

Marcos, which they had threatened to do

i they didnt get nearly $4 million rom the

NB taxpayers. You know, because the Store

cares about the community and whatnot.

Anyway, you know by now that the 4-B

has been operating without a Federal Tax IDnumber, and up until now you may have been

thinking Big deal. What could they possibly

need a Federal Tax ID number or? Well, aside

rom properly ling taxes, it means they arent

a legitimate corporation, even though they have

the word Corporation right there in their name.

The ull name o the Board is the New Braunels

Industrial Development Corporation. See?

This is about to become a problem,

because i the City expects to get that nearly

$4 million back, theyre going to have to win

in court and the act that they dont have

their ducks in a row means that they (we) just

might have to eat that cash. Oops.

Weve been told by District FourCoucilmember Sandy Nolte that 4-B does

indeed have a Federal Tax ID number, but

she declined to tell us what it was or who

told her that they have one. Weve heard

rom other City Ocials that 4-B does not

have a Federal Tax ID number, but that they

dont need one. Which is unny, because

according to the States 4-B rules, the Board

is supposed to have its own bank account.

Which it doesnt. They mos de

need a Federal Tax ID or that.

Oh dear.In any case, Trevor Bird

o Gruene Harley-Davidson

sits on the 4-B Board, and last

week, during the Treasurers report,

he asked to see the Boards phantom Tax ID.

He was immediately Tommy-gunned by First

Assistant City Attorney Frankie The Onion

Onion, who told him that since the Tax ID

wasnt on the agenda, that he couldnt bring it

up during the nancial discussion portion o the

evening, and that i he wanted to discuss it hed

have to wait another month to do so. Uh oh.

Now keep in mind that the Boards

Directors are legally responsible or everything

the Board does. And that Trevor Bird was shutdown or trying to make sure that the Board

hes on is in compliance with the law. This is

like a person you dont know asking you to

carry something on board an airplane with

an admonition not to look inside the bag.

This is what Bird is up against. Well have to

wait and see how this plays out, but man, I

wouldnt want to be Sandy Nolte right now.

As or Tim Zipp, there are two ways his

continued presence on 4-B could go. The

question is where his loyalties lay. I its with

his old company, hell be trying to get the

4-B used to idea that they just arent going

to be able to collect on that debt. I its with

the taxpayers o this community, hell be usingwhat he knows about The Store to make sure

we get paid back. Again, were going to

have to wait and see on this one, however the

Zipp confict o interest thing just gets worse.

The idea that hes still on 4-B speaks volumes,

but thats par or the course in Texas Most

Corrupt City. Enjoy.

Continued on next page.

/TXCitizen

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Continued rom previous page.

City Council Report

Ater the beating City Council took or

denying the downtown outdoor ood court,

(see The War on Cool in the 2-7-13 issue

on the TX Citizen, online at txcitizen.com), it

seems they might have decided to embrace

their collective inner hipster last Monday,

voting unanimously to allow Pour Haus

customers to bring their pooches with them

to the Haus massive patio or Giant Jenga

and bean bag tossin. Council also voted

to allow pedicabs to cart downtown visitors

both this way and that. Good times, all o

it. (Both items will need to be voted on one

more time, but as these both passed their rst

reading 7-0, it would be shocking i our or

more council members were to change their

minds beore the next meeting.)

There was also a bit o weird during the

meeting. District Threes Ron Reeves made

a massive amendment to an item regarding

the ormation o a task orce to develop a

plan or arts and culture. He went as ar

as to outline which other City and citizen

entities should sit on the board o said task

orce, moved to approve the item with his

changes, and then voted against it. And

people wonder why we hate politicians.

Best Letter Ever. Ev-er.

We got THE BEST letter the other day. Its

awesome. Its clearly rom someone who

works at City Hall, but because it names

names theres no way we can run it unless

we know who wrote it. So, attention BEST

LETTER writer, we need to know who you are.

We wont tell anybody - weve been protecting

City Hall sources or over a year. So drop by

the oce or send us an email and well pop

that bad boy into print or yall.

Ma e up or somet ing orri e you i once.

We got this rom TX Citizen an and uber-

dogsitter Karla Roch:

Ok folks here is your chance

to do a good thing for a family with

a single mom who lost all of their

belongings in a re last Friday. The

re is suspected to be an electrical

one at no fault to her.

Her name is Stephanie Pollard

and she owns Doggone Green

Mobile Dog Wash. She lost her cat

and birds in the fire, but Officer

Heath from Animal Control was

able to save her two dogs! She has

been offered clothing, food, etc.

although at this point she really

needs enough money just to get

started with a place to live. Can

you help? She is a kind and loving

person who has and would do the

same for a stranger.

Karla can be reached at

[email protected], and

donations can be made via PayPal to t hat

address as well.

\m/

Mike Reynolds

Publisher/Editor-in-Chie

197 S. Seguin Ave

830.629.0540

197 S. Seguin Ave

830.629.0540

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7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13

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TXCITIZEN.COM 5

SAINTS PETER AND PAULS SPRING FESTIVAL!

Saturday, April 27. Festival Noon to 5pm, Street Dance 5 to 8pm,

Live Auction, 6:30pm, Rae or brand spankin new Ford F-150 Pick em

Up Truck 7:30pm.

VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT

The First Annual New Braunels Toros Volleyball Tournament takes

place Saturday, April 27, Co-ed, six player recreational and our-man

competitive divisions. Food, games, music, and un! Proceeds to be put

toward purchase o jerseys and equipment. All day event.

BIKE NIGHT AT DIRTYS!

Fire up your bike and come git cha sum award winning Texas BBQ and

live music rom the Rowdy Johnson Band at Dirtys this Sunday! Two miles

past Clear Springs on Hwy 46. 3 to 6pm All bikers welcome!

SUNDAY DANCEJason Arnold & the Stepsiders Band rom Austin will be perorming all

your old country dance avorites at the Geronimo VFW Post 8456, 6808

N Highway 123, Geronimo, April 28, 3-6:30 PM (open seating). Kitchen

opens at 2 PM. $7.00 donation; benefts VFW Auxiliary. Smokeree and

always open to all. Ino 830-303-9903.

BLOCK BUSTER WRESTLINGPro-style grapplin at its up-close, bruiseworthy fnest. The boys o

Block Buster hit the ring at 5:30pm, Sunday, April 28, within the riendly

confnes o Big Als Gardens on Business 35. Folding chairs provided.

OPEN HOUSE AT THE TRAIN MUSEUM

You are invited to admire the new vintage rail car train shed, during

the Open House, at the New Braunels Railroad Museum. Saturday and

Sunday, April 27 and 28, rom 10:00 am until 5:00 pm. Admission is Free.The Railroad Museum is located at 302 West San Antonio Avenue, New

Braunels, Texas 78108, downtown at the railroad tracks. For inormation,

visit WWW.NBRRM.ORG or call 830-627-2447.

KILL YOUR TV DISPOSE OF THE BODY

Its Electronic Recycling Day again, where you can trash your computers

and what-not without poisoning the groundwater or the next tengenerations. 8am to noon, Saturday, April 27, Landa Park Pool parking lot.

FREE EVIDENCE DESTRUCTIONOn Saturday, April 27, our riends at the US Drug Enorcement Agency

will be hand at NBU to relieve you o any expired or unneeded prescriptionor over-the-counter drugs that may be cluttering your medicine cabinet,no questions asked (wink-wink). You dont have to bring them in theiroriginal packaging, but i you dont have those containers be sure to drivecareully prescription meds in a baggie can turn a routine trafc stop intoa newsworthy event. The drop will take place in the parking lot behindNBU o o Comal Avenue between 10am to 2pm.

DOGGIE DIP DAY

How about a swim with your best pal? Well, its Doggie Dip time againout at the Landa Park springed pool. Bring proo o rabies vaccination and$5 per dog or admission there will be prizes or Best Doggie Swim-Suit,so bring one o those along as well i your pooch can stand that kind ohumiliation. Saturday, April 27, noon to 4pm.

VFW FUNDRAISER COUNTRY DANCEThe Sam Bentley Band will be playing true country dance music along

with a guest appearance rom singer Star Longoria, at the Maurice T. SuttlesVFW Post 3413, 1701 Hunter Rd, in San Marcos, on April 27 rom 8pm tomidnight. Doors open at 7 pm. Adult admission $8, children 12 & under$4. Smoke ree and always open to everyone. For ino and reservations,call 512-757-1478 or 512-667-6215.

BREAKFAST LIONS TURKEY SHOOTBlast a paper target or a good cause! Each round will cost $5 per

shooter, and the prize will be a $25 git certifcate. Dont worry about

ammo as well provide the ammunition or 12 gauge, 20 gauge, and 410shotguns. Location: Behind Dietz Gun shop, 5 miles West o New Braunelson 46. Turn let into the drive that leads to the Gun shop. Go past the gunshop and take an immediate let. The shoot will be 100 yards down thatroad and on the let. Saturday and Sunday, May 4 and 5. For more ino,call Frank at 210-488-6348.

YOURE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWNThe E.N.A.A.C.T. Family Academy would like to invite you to their 2013

Spring production o Youre A Good Man, Charlie Brown at the Tree oLie Church in New Braunels located on IH-35 South. This production willtake place in the Main Sanctuary on Thursday, May 9th at 7:00 PM, Friday,May 10th at 10:00 AM (matinee) and 7:00 PM. Tickets are $6 per personor $5 or groups o 10 or more. Tickets can be purchased online at www.enaact.org or at the door. For group purchases or or more inormation,please call (830) 626-0320.

CALENDAR

GOT AN EVENT TO PROMOTE?Well get the word out or you!

Send the details to [email protected].

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13

6/166 AD SALES 830.483.9563

The TX Citizen gured prominently into the Landmark Salon and Spas 2013 Hair and

Fashion Show at the Landmark Lofts last Saturday, with models in unbelievable custom TX

Citizen dresses created entirely by the preternaturally gifted hands of the salons proprietor,

Israel DeLeon, and an appearance by our in-house metrosexual and former City Council

candidate, Chase Cochran. With over 50 models gracing the runway, and a huge crowd in

attendance, the event was a erce, raging success!Fashion

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13

7/16TXCITIZEN.COM 7

Bualo Wings & RingsKaraokeTuesday Nights, 7:30pm

TriviaThursday Night, 7:30pm

Dirtys Bar & QKaraokeWednesday Nights, 8pmSaturday Nights, 9pm

Faust Brewing CompanyTriviaThursday Nights, 8pm

Freiheit Country StoreKaraokeFriday Nights, 8pm

TriviaSaturday Nights, 8pm

Happy CowKaraokeThursday Nights, 8pm

TriviaWednesday Nights, 8pm

Pool TournamentMonday Nights, 8pm

Old Ice House

KaraokeThursdays, Sundays

DJWednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays

Phoenix SaloonKaraokeThursday Nights

Prickly Pear Lounge

KaraokeThursdays, Saturdays

DJ KCFridays

The Watering Hole SaloonKaraokeThursdays

Country Dance LessonsFridays, 7:30pm - FREEDJFridays, Saturdays

diversionsLandmark LotsThe Landmark is accepting applications

or a ull time Leasing Consultant.Perorms leasing, marketing, customer

service and administrative duties, to include: Leases and markets vacant and

upcoming apartments. Completes all leasing paperwork. Compiles and processes applications

or approval. Explains lease and all appropriate

addenda to new resident. Walks apartments and reports all

necessary improvements. Assists with resident relations. Keys in all ees, deposits, and new

lease inormation. Shows apartments to prospective

leases. Accepts and completes Notice to

Vacate orms. Accepts rental payments. Other duties as assigned.Please apply in person at the Landmark

Lots oce, 144 Landa St. New Braunels.

Mountain Breeze CampgroundWe are hiring oce and bar sta

starting now through the summer. Part-timeand ull-time positions. Must have a greatattitude, because attitude is everything! Applyat Mountain Breeze Camp on River Rd or call830 964 2484 ext 0.

The New Braunels Auction Co. &Gruene Flea Antique Mall needs a variety

o seasonal temp to hire part time and/orull time workers. Estate sale set up, salesoperation, retail, urniture movers, etc. Greatun work environment, part time, fex and ulltime depending on ability, availability andexperience. Great student and summer jobs!Apply in person at 311 FM306 Bldg.#2 NewBraunels TX 78130.

OurBlokAre you a connector? We are looking or

two proessional representatives to help in thearea. Salary, commission and bonuses oeredbased on experience and perormance. I youlike people and have a service mentality youmay be the perect t. Past sales experiencehelpul but not mandatory. Email your resumeto [email protected] to discuss urther.

Alpine HausWe have one position or experienced

waitsta in our upscale restaurant. Knowledgeo German language and culture a plus. We

are also hiring kitchen prep and dishwasher.Must be reliable. Apply in person rom 3 PMto 4:30 PM Thursday through Sunday at 251S. Seguin Ave. New Braunels.

The Mund Group - Property and CasualtyAccount Manager

This person will Assist the producer byhandling the marketing o new business andrenewal submissions including preparingapplications, surveys and other documentsor submission, selection o markets,negotiations with underwriters, preparationo proposals, processing o policies as wellas reviewing issued policies or accuracy andendorsements. Other duties include servicingthe needs o client accounts, inputting andupdating policy details and maintaining new/renewal client les.

Requirements:General Lines Property and Casualty

LicenseKnowledge o Applied Systems ProgramsAbility to multi task and handle a large

volume o items simultaneouslyGood organizational skills, with high

attention to detailAbility to prioritize and work

independently

Base Salary +

Email your resume to:[email protected]

Camp Huaco SpringsIts that time o year again! Were hiring or

the reservation oce at Camp Huaco Springs.Must work the 3 major holiday weekends andhave excellent phone etiquette. Were superfexible with hours - part time or ull time, andwe can schedule around your needs. Seasonalwork only. Please stop by the RV Store onRiver Road to pick up an application. Wewould really like to hire some Scooter Storeemployees that have been laid o!

Mile High Yard Works is hiring ullor part time workers or un work outside!Kick the cubical! We are looking or Laborand a delivery driver. Contact Tommy at830-626-3455.

Eclipse Window Tinting is now hiring.Contact Aaron at 830-237-2267.

M4 Cleaning Services is hiring 6housekeepers or residential & commercialcleaning in New Braunels. $9.00/hour. Call210-386-6429

Elite Auto Sounds is hiring or theposition o sign spinner. Seeking resh acesand enthusiastic personalities. Hourly +bonuses. Apply in person @ Rueckle & 35.

Got a nice opening? Well help fll it, FREE! Send

your job listings to [email protected]. Hire ormerScooter Store employees, and well pay you o withup to $1,500 in advertising credit!

HELP WANTEDThank you to those who

gave in big ways and those

who gave in small ways thatmade a huge difference.You helped us raise over$6000 for Heart Funds as

well as 91 ponytails!

The New Braunfels Blues SocietyThe TX CitizenMike ReynoldsKayla Wallace

Blinders Hair salon

John PayneCorba Jones

Chris and Nora GravesAaron Smith

Amy KennedyMichele McDonaldCindy Lee Yeargan

Ace PepperScott Walker

Adam Johnson,Charlie Cruz and the Cool Cats

The Blues BuzzardsThe Monty "Guitar" Tyler Band

Sheree Guinn sponsored the cost of the foodto honor her grandson Joshua Smith (USAF)

Clyde GrayKandi and Sara Anderson

Kimberly WrightAlyssa Loya

Curley ChiropracticTri City

Wright Distributing

Michael WaidNB Prestige DetailingWilson Apkarian

Michelle from BlindersHeidi from Blinders

Dr Judith JonkeRudy's BBQ

The Brauntex TheatreDale Martin

Rockin R River RidesElement 29 (in Gruene.)Steve and Renee Wilson

Patrick and Christina FallinTerrific MassageAlibi Boutique

New Braunfels Candy aka "the candy lady"Melissa GalvanDonella Doyle

Pete YankowskiCasa de Linda

KNBTStuart WolfMonty Tyler

Silk Screen DesignsThe Lone Kro'

Spicewood Jewelry

Thank you to those whogave in big ways and those

who gave in small ways thatmade a huge difference.You helped us raise over$6000 for Heart Funds as

well as 91 ponytails!

The New Braunfels Blues SocietyThe TX CitizenMike ReynoldsKayla Wallace

Blinders Hair salon

John PayneCorba Jones

Chris and Nora GravesAaron Smith

Amy KennedyMichele McDonaldCindy Lee Yeargan

Ace PepperScott Walker

Adam Johnson,Charlie Cruz and the Cool Cats

The Blues BuzzardsThe Monty "Guitar" Tyler Band

Sheree Guinn sponsored the cost of the foodto honor her grandson Joshua Smith (USAF)

Clyde GrayKandi and Sara Anderson

Kimberly WrightAlyssa Loya

Curley ChiropracticTri City

Wright Distributing

Michael WaidNB Prestige DetailingWilson Apkarian

Michelle from BlindersHeidi from Blinders

Dr Judith JonkeRudy's BBQ

The Brauntex TheatreDale Martin

Rockin R River RidesElement 29 (in Gruene.)Steve and Renee Wilson

Patrick and Christina FallinTerrific MassageAlibi Boutique

New Braunfels Candy aka "the candy lady"Melissa GalvanDonella Doyle

Pete YankowskiCasa de Linda

KNBTStuart WolfMonty Tyler

Silk Screen DesignsThe Lone Kro'

Spicewood Jewelry

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13

8/168 AD SALES 830.483.9563

Thu 4.25Black Whale Pub

TBA9pm

Dirtys Bar & QSteven Roloff & Friends8pm

Freiheit Country StoreOpen Mic w/ Fallon Franklin6pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenJam Night6pm

Phoenix SaloonSteven Veew/ Shannon Wierman & Kori Free5pm

Rileys TavernRipe Honey9pm

Adobe VerdeTBA8pm

AJs Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm

Billys Ice HouseDix Hat Band8pm

Black & Tan PubDigital Deadbeats & the Good Squad9pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseSeth Candan Band9pm

Gruene HallDustin Welch6pm

The Pour HausBrian Pounds Trio7pm

River Road Ice HouseBig Red Drum Showcase8pm

Tavern in the GrueneKurt Grein Band8pm

Texas Music TheaterGreen Mountain Grassw/ Whistle & Fish9pm

Triple CrownErickson6pmBonsai Nation, Taylor Louis & theLifeguards,Dangerous Animal9pm, $5

Uptown Piano BarAshley Stone8pm

Fri 4.26Dirtys Bar & Q

Farm Boys8pm

The Happy CowSlim Bawb8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenCorvette Car Showw/ Paul McLaughlin1pm

Vagabonds6pm

Phoenix SaloonJames Pardo5pmDJ B.read presents Two Handfuls of Funk9pm

Rileys TavernJoel Hofmann Band9pm

Adobe VerdeTBA8pm


Billys Ice HouseShinyribs8pm

Black & Tan PubRain of the Aftermath, Vlad the Impaler9pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseBrian Keane Bandw/ The Hems9pm

Gruene HallHouston Marchman8pm, $8

The Pour HausTom Gilliam9pm

River Road Ice HouseCurtis Grimesw/ Flywood

Tavern in the GrueneMonty Guitar Tyler8pm

Triple CrownJoel Hofmann Band6pmThe Beaumonts, Pure Luck9pm, $6

Uptown Piano BarBarry Adams8pm

Vino en VerdeAaron Stephens8pm

Sat 4.27Black Whale Pub

TBA9pm

Dirtys Bar & QJames Pardo Band9pm, $3

The Happy CowKnucklehead8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenSteve Judice1pmLuke Adair & the Big Bills

6pmPhoenix SaloonAdam Johnson & the Pay Me s9pm

Rileys TavernOmar & the Howlers9pm

Adobe VerdeTBA8pm


Billys Ice HousePoor J Brown9pm

Black & Tan PubA Room in the Body, Landlovers,Swimming with Bears9pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseJon Wolfe Band9pm

Gruene HallFlat Top Jones1pmThe Texas Jamm Band9pm, $8

The Pour HausBrian Keane9pm

San Marcos VFW 3413Sam Bentley Bandw/ Star Longoria

Food @ 7, Music @ 8Tavern in the Gruene

TBA9pm

Triple CrownKTSW Mr Fest!Ghosts of Dixie, New York City Queens,Sour Bridges, Emily Bell, Three Leaf,Poor Pilate1pmChasca, Mike Truth &the Replacement Killers,Scorpio Rising9pm, $5

Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean8pm

Vino en VerdeSweet Sauce9pm

Sun 4.28Dirtys Bar & QArizonas Original Outlaw Band3pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenThe Phillip Stevens Band2pm

Phoenix SaloonEthan Ford2pmTBA7pm

Billys Ice HouseJoe Teichman8pm

Black & Tan PubLatin/Reggae8pm

Geronimo VFW 8456

Sunday DanceJason Arno ld & the S tepsiders BandFood @ 2, Music @ 3

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13

9/16

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13

10/16

ADVICE FROM

UNCLE ESEL

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13

11/16TXCITIZEN.COM 11

Uncle K. Esel is a lietime resident o our air city, and iswell known or his sage advice on a wide range o topics.I you fnd yoursel perplexed with no one to turn to,send your question to Uncle Esel at: [email protected]. Be sure to write Question or Uncle Esel in thesubject line o your email.

Uncle Esel,You mentioned the government

spying on our emails and othercommunications, but is there anyevidence they use the internet againstus? I mean i they are genuinely lookingor terrorists, then whats the harm?

Tank You,Wilson

Dear Wilson,Well, i the government could be trusted to

just do what they say, then we wouldnt haveto worry about it, but in act, agencies like theIRS are starting to utilize inormation o theInternet to go ater people. Not just them, butalso state agencies including tax agencies.

One reported case involved Oklahoma

authorities going ater a bunch o rat boyswho were making a ew bucks by hostingparties. Now, news fash Oklahoma taxpeople, no one on Facebook, Twitter or othersocial media sites ever lies or exaggerates. Iits on the Internet it has to be true, right?

So these kids did the unexpected andmaybe exaggerated a wee bit on the amounto income they made (in reality, probably justenough to buy some ree booze and a tanko gas). Imagine the shock o getting bill or

$320,000 rom the state or back taxes andpenalties. Imagine the surprise to see the back-up documentation that consisted entirely oscreen shots o the boys social media posts.So are you worried yet?

Well listen up Casanovas and Lolitas othe world. Over 80% o divorce cases alsorelied on social media in some orm or theirproceedings. Even around here, we have seenthe use o social media to turn common blusterinto something sinister even though it was just

simple trash talk. I guess its all a matter o whohas the best access to the system and theright connections, isnt it Princess?

By the way, the Department o Justicewas served with a Freedom o InormationAct (FOIA) request by the Electronic FrontierFoundation and had to produce a trainingdocument on using social media to investigateAmericans. It includes reerences to work-arounds or privacy settings and appears toallude to using deception (riending) to getino despite routine claims that the eds do notdo that. So Wilson, in summary, how manyterrorists have been jailed or under-reportingtaxes? Using non-ederal agency math, wehave the count at zero.

Love, K

Dear Uncle Esel,I have a problem with a local

business who has ailed to work ona warranty item or something that ibought, even though it broke in the rst

month. What is the best approach?Tank youKenny

Dear Kenny,The question is pretty broad and there

are a lot o variables to consider such as theindustry or merchandise you might be talkingabout. Most really big retailers or instancehave a repair division or service either in

house or contracted. In either case they otenbuy products rom manuacturers and getdiscounts or agreeing to service any warrantyneeds. Smaller companies however, will reeryou to the manuacturers warranty programand approved repair centers.

I you dealing with a big company thenask to speak to their national customer relationsdepartment, this usually starts the ball rolling toresolve most complaints. You can also contactthe manuacturer o an item to obtain warrantyassistance. When nothing seems to beworking you can lodge a complaint with theBetter Business Bureau or the state ConsumerDivision o the Attorney General oce.

Tell the Attorney Generals oce you arerom New Braunels, they know us real well upthere. On second thought, they may not be toriendly i you tell them that. I you are reallygood at Internet searches, you can alwaysnd the phone numbers or the executives othe company or even a ax number. Calls tothem are usually ast tracked or resolution and

get pretty lenient treatment, you know, in caseyoure asking or too much. I all else ails, badmouth them on their Facebook.

Love, K

Uncle Esel,When will Walnut be done?Tanks,Dave

Dave,

No one knows that answer.Love, K

Special Message rom Uncle Esel:I would like to wish all the victims o the

terrorist act in Boston a speedy recovery and aprayer or their well being as well as or those

who lost loved ones. Esel hopes that thoseresponsible or this act o terror will meet witha swit punishment or their actions. It wasgreat to see the unselfsh acts o Americansgoing to the aid o the allen and dazed.Cowards will not cause us to withdraw andhide and we will continue to show our spiritunder pressure. Lie, liberty and the pursuit ohappiness. Keep it going.

UNCLE ESEL

830-626-9464(WING)

983 LOOP 337 NEW BRAUNFELS, TX 78130

Buy 1 Meal &2 Beverages & receive

2nd Meal 50% offDine-in only, limit one per customer.Limit one coupon per table. Not valid

with any other offers. Maximum discount $6.00.Valid at New Braunfels and San Antonio Location Only.

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MOST WANTEDCOMAL COUNTY S

ASK A MEXICAN!!

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13

12/1612 AD SALES 830.483.9563

MOST WANTED

$200REWARD

GANN,AMBER PFemale 506 185 lbsDOB: 04/16/1985CHARGE: Intoxication

assault andaggravated assaultwith a deadly weapon

GENTRY,

DALLAS LEE

Male 509 190 lbsDOB: 05/02/1955

CHARGE: Driving

while intoxicated 3rdor more

JOHNSEN,CHRISTOPHERDAVIDMale 504 160 lbs

DOB: 10/19/1970CHARGE: Forgery

financial instrument

HORMANN,

STEVEN

Male 511 196 lbs

DOB: 12/26/1957

CHARGE: Credit card

or debit card abuseelderly

CLARK,

ELVIS THURMAN

Male 506 170 lbs

DOB: 09/12/1973

CHARGE: Three

counts of forgery

against an elderly

MARTINEZ,

FRANK

Male 509 170 lbs

DOB: 08/01/1975

CHARGE: Evading

arrest detention with

previous conviction

MAUER, CHARLESHEYWOOD

Male 510 220 lbsDOB: 01/23/1973CHARGE: Driving

while intoxicated withtwo or more previousconvictions for the

same type of offense

OBRIEN,

STEVEN HORSTMale 602 215 lbs

DOB: 10/19/1982

CHARGE: Forgeryfinancial instrument

TURNER,

AARON LEEMale 509 140 lbs

DOB: 07/20/1966

CHARGE: Bail

jumping and fail to

appear felony

NOLLE-ESENY,CHRISTOPHER

ROBINMale 601 230 lbs

DOB: 06/18/1988CHARGE: Motion to

revoke probation forcriminal mischief over$1500 under $20,000

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotatedPublic Record and Information disclosure statues. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, April 22, 2013 at9:15 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards,

please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are

listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify thestatus of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL

COUNTYS MOST WANTED.Callers will remain anonymous.

830.620.3400 - 24-Hour

830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: I have always liked

ranchera music. As o late, I have

wanted to get deeper into it as ar as

the history, the culture and especially

the songs and lyrics. Te older I get,

the more rancheras seem like poetryto mesounds cursi, i know. So what

I was wondering is i you know a good

book or two or website that I can

read or check out? I went to my local

library and they didnt have a very

good selection. And Borders or Barnes

and Noble? Forget itso por avor and

gracias, i you could.

Houston Honey

Dear Wabette: O course Borders doesnt

stock any books on rancherasBorders doesnt

exist anymore (and borders dont existed,

period, but thats neither ni aqu no all). Most

research on Mexican music concentrates on

corridos, our ballad orm that celebrates bad

men, events, and horses, but actual scholarly

treatises on ranchera? Few and ar between,

alasand non-existent in English.

Your best bet is Jose Alredo Jimnez:

Cancionero Completo, a songbook that

contains all the compositions o the ranchera

titan, whose hit parade makes the collected

works o Gershwin, Porter, Leiber-Stoller, the

Brill Building AND Woody Guthrie seem as

voluminous as the output o Paper Lace. Thelibro also contains a great introductory essay

by Mexican intellectual Carlos Monsivais that

puts Jimnez in his proper context.

As great as Cancionero Completo is,

however, dont bother buying it: a used copy

o is currently priced at $54 on Amazon.com,

and while the book showcases the Robert

Burns-esque bravado and orgullo that was the

Jimnez style, it aint worth that price in this

day and age where you can just gather all the

lyrics online. Then again, i youre willing to

buy the book, Im more than happy to sell my

copy to you: I do need to nish o the down

payment on my burro

Dear Mexican: Upon rst seeing

me, as a two-week old baby, my aunt

Estrella screamed Ay, que gringo!

But, i you gotta call me a gabacho,

so be it. I do have Mexican amily

(through marriage), and my brother

(white like me) is currently down in

Mexico City courting a beautiul Mexi

nugget he met while attending college

in Malaga, Spain.I get along well with many

Mexicans, legal and illegal, but I hate

that they arent paying the man like

I have to. Sure, Im a little jealous, but

Id be all or Mexicans being awarded

citizenship simply or walking over

the border...as long as they paid their

dues. I pay taxes that und crap like

keeping white trash rom getting jobs,jobs they could get i I wasnt already

paying or them to survive on junk

ood, and some undocumented border-

jumping beaner wasnt there working

or cheaper (and not helping me pay

the dumb taxes to keep the trailer trash

alive). I say assimilate, document, pay

taxes and welcome.

Im writing an essay on wetbacks(screw PC terms) and their efect on our

country or better AND worse. Ive never

heard o you until I read about 30 o your

emails and responses on the net today.

Id like to know whats your opinion

on the crossing over and its efect

economically rather than socially?

White Sox Winner!

Dear Gabacho: The only opinion I have

is on your language. Beaner? Border-

jumping? Wetback? All these insults

are SO 1950s. Dont you know the current

verboten insult toward Mexicans is illegal

or illegal immigrant? And as or your

concern about the undocumented paying

their way, dontcha worry about that: the

recent proposed amnesty bill crated by a

bunch o political pendejos is more punitive

than habanero salsa marching through your

alimentary canal toward your culo.

Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his an on Facebook,ollow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano

or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

ASK A MEXICAN!!

THE

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13


Magic Hats Pistil

We have something very interesting or you

today, my ne readers! The brewery thatsnormalizing spruce tips in their wheelhouse

beers, and apricot juice in their fagship,

is bringing two intriguing ingredients in to

one pretty capable beer. The brewery is

Magic Hat, and the beer is Pistil. Pistil is a

Dandelion ale, or rather something close to

a Pale Ale or ESB with dandelion leaves and

fowers added to the brew. Yeah, me neither

(is what Im replying to your statement about

never having seen that beore). Culinarily, I

do know that dandelion is used sometimes in

light greens salad, and they have a slightly

bitter, delicate favor. Perhaps a worthy

addition to the hops? Well see.

The other unusual ingredient is

aciduated malt, also known in the distilling

biz as Sour Mash. In addition, to give a bit

o body, faked oats. Lets see how this comes

out, shall we? The beer has a bit o a hazy

white beer color, with a white oamy head.The taste is something rather unique.

The malt is a bit more orward than I

thought it was going to be. Dandelion,

spring, so I thought it was going to be a

very light malt, but this is just a bit more

caramel than not. There is a very nice crisp

bitterness, about like a pilsner, and a lovely

green grassy note. The atertaste is where

the lacto-inected malt comes through. It

gives almost a pinapple-ish atertaste. Not

super sour in the taste, but the ater really

lingers. Overall, this is an interesting oray

into using dandelions, and a great example

o aciduated malting. Despite the overly

thick sweetness o the malt, this beer is

greatly rereshing and would be an amazing

companion on warm nights.

WITH MITCHELL WILBURN

Mitchell Wilburn is our resident bon vivant and arbiter o all things

barley. Send your beer questions to him at [email protected].

PRICKLY PEAR

LOUNGE

As always, we urge you to

DRINK RESPONSIBLY

IN THE PEAR

THURSDAYLadies Night & Karaoke w/Johnny V

A Star is born every Thurs & Sat

FRIDAYParty with DJ KC & the Pear Crowd

SATURDAYKool Karaoke w/Johnny V!

SUNDAYNow Open NOON MIDNIGHT!National Bring Some Friends Day!

MONDAYGet your Dos XX Draft ON!

TUESDAYTRIVIA NIGHT! With DJ KC

Free Darts and Pool

WEDNESDAYHump Day - Free Darts & Pool

1051 N. IH-35 | 830-625-8017

NOW OPEN:LOBBY LOUNGE BY THE PEAR,

our non-smoking lounge in our dining room!

Tattoos / Piercings / Tattoo Removal / Permanent Cosmetics

382 IH 35 S. / New Braunfels

830.625.3200

BESTOF THE

WURST

2013 WINNER!BEST TATTOO STUDIO

Tattoos / Piercings / Tattoo Removal / Permanent Cosmetics

382 IH 35 S. / New Braunfels

830.625.3200

BESTOF THE

WURST

2013 WINNER!BEST TATTOO STUDIOBLACK WHALE PUB

Specializing inBelgian Beers

100 Import Beers

24 Beers on Tap

Live Entertainment

Full Bar

Pool Tables Darts

367 Main Plaza

830-625-6605

NEW!Smoke free lounge upstairs!

BESTOF THE

WURST

2013

CO-CHAMPION

BEST BAR!

830.483

.9563

ADVER

TISE.NOW.

HAPPY COWB A R & G R I L L

9103 FM 1102

San Braunfels (Hunter, TX)

512.353.0030

Monday NightsPool Tournament 8pm

Tuesday NightsOpen Jam by Uncle Daddy 8pm

Wednesday NightsTrivia! 8pm

Thursday NightsCow E Oke 8pm

April 26Slim Bawb

April 20Knucklehead

Kitchen Hours:Tues-Fri

11:30am-10pm

Sat & Sun2pm-10pm

The Udder Place in Hunter, TX

NEVER

ACOVER!

Double Winner!2013 TX Citizen Readers Poll!Best Burger & Best Bartender!

BESTOFTH

E

WURST

2013

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13

14/1614 TX CITIZEN14 AD SALES 830.483.9563

INGESTIONBest Burger:The Happy CowBest Coffee:

The Gruene Grind Coee CompanyBest Breakfast Tacos: El NopalitoBest Mexican: Adobe CafBest Pizza: TIE!Bosses Pizza/New York Pizza Pub

Best BBQ: Granzin BBQ

PEOPLE & PLACESBest Bar: TIE!

The Black Whale Pub/Phoenix SaloonBest Bartender:Jannah at The Happy Cow

Best Live Music Venue:Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Best Sports Bar:Bualo Wings and Rings

Best Place to Dance:Phoenix Saloon

Best Make-Out Spot:Phoenix Saloons Basement Bar

Best Biergarten:Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Best Local Band: 3 Man FrontBest Local Solo Act: Lucas TaylorFavorite Dead New Braunfelser:F.J. Lindheimer

DIVERSIONSBest Trivia Night:Faust Brewing Company

Best Karaoke:Freiheit Country Store

Best DJ: DJ KCBest Local Event that Endsin Fest: Wurstfest

INDUSTRYBest Tattoo Studio:Body Expressions

Best Tourist Attraction:Schlitterbahn

Best Local Newspaper: TX Citizen(Herald-Zeitung disqualied for being

Houston-owned.)

CIVICSTop Local Political Fiasco of 2012:The Disposable Container Ban on

Local Rivers.

2012s Most QuestionableExpenditure of Public Money:The exorbitant costs associated with

the cleanup of banned, and therefore

non-existent, disposable containers

from local rivers.

Local Road Most Likely to Trigger

an Auto Insurance Claim:Seguin Avenue, near the underpass.

Most Horrible Local PoliticianCurrently Holding Ofce:Mayor Gale Pospisil

Least Horrible Local PoliticianCurrently Holding Ofce:Kevin Webb

Best Non-Ofce Holding PublicFigure: Devil-May-Care Gun Owner/Former Mayor Stoney Williams

Most Horrible Non-Ofce HoldingCitizen: Can-Ban Architect/FormerMayor Pro-Tem Kathleen Krueger

BESTOF THE

WURST

2013

CONGRATS!

WINNERS!

Another enthusiastic crowd descended upon the Happy Cows belt sander races lastSaturday, with Team Baby Labonte, (left), bringing home the gold in the modied

division, and Team Colonel Sanders, (right), again dominating the stock category.

on touron tour

TX Citizens Falon & Paxtyn took their North Dakotan cousin,

Devin, over to Houston to check out the Museum of Natural

Science. They found the Pink Floyd laser show at the

planetarium particularly edifying. #education

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13


FREE Country Dance LessonsAprils Lesson ~

Salsa!Fridays @ 7:30

Followed byCOUNTRY DJ DANCE

Live Music Tues & Weds @ 8:30pm

Join us for our

Karaoke ContestThursdays @ 9pm

Check out Happy Hour!11am-7pm Monday - Saturday

ALL Day Sunday

1390 McQueeney Rd, New Braunfels830-625-0045 or wateringholesaloon.com

Become a friend @ facebook.com/theholenb

Est. 1986

WWW.FREIHEITCOUNTRYSTORE.NET

VOTED BEST BURGERS IN TOWN!

COUNTRY STORE

NEWRESTAURANT HOURS!

TUESDAY - THURSDAY 11a - 9pFRIDAY 11a - 10p

SATURDAY 8a - 10p

SUNDAY 8a - 3pBar is open til midnight

Friday & Saturday

OPEN MICW/ FALLON FRANKLINEVERY THURSDAY @ 6

KARAOKEEVERY FRIDAY @ 8

HWY 46, 2 MILES PAST CLEAR SPRINGS

GIT CHA SUM

Parties/[email protected]

830-379-8883

GIT CHA SUMLip Smackin', Finger Lickin',Award Winnin' South Texas

BBQ and a Cold Beer!

Thursday APRIL 25Steven Roloff & Friends8pm-12am *RIB NIGHT!*

Friday APRIL 26Farm Boys 8pm-12am $3

Saturday APRIL 27James Pardo Band

9pm-1am $3

SUNday APRIL 28Bike Night with The Rowdy

Johnson Band! 3 to 6pm"Where Texans Eat Dirty Good!"

Cheerwine: It Tastes Like Home

heerwine, its the second most popular

rink in North Carolina, but unlike the states

most popular sipping beverage, its legal and

lcohol ree.

I love Texas, but Imtried and true Tar Heel

nd hillbilly. A while back I

ran into a man who wound

up working out with us at

arriors Edge. It didnt take

long or me to recognize that

his accent was not Texan and

hat he too was a Tar Heel.

s it turned out, it being

he small world that it is, I

ctually went to high school

ith some o his kin!

Now I havent been

back to Carolina since my

10 year high school reunion,

because, well, it was kind o a bummer.

I remember hurrying up to graduate rom

ollege so that I could tell everyone that I was

in act a college graduate beore going to my10 year reunion. I had to hustle, but I made it

ith a month or two to spare.

I remember walking into the grand ol

hindig all o my old classmates had planned

or what I thought was going to be my

riumphant return and the rst person I ran into

idnt say hey its Bubba, he didnt even say

hello, he looked at me kind o conused and

aid, I heard you were dead.For once I was speechless. But ater

omeone else looked at me like they had seen

ghost, I let, still not being sure o how I let

his cruel world. Far be it rom me to wreck it or

verybody i I went down in a blaze o glory.

Besides that story sounded more impressive

han umbling through nine years o college.

Not wanting to scare anyone else, or ruin

great story, I have not been to Carolina since.

Now besides the people, who or many Im literally dead to, there are a ew other things

I miss about Carolina. Boiled peanuts, sweet

orn, cheap Copenhagen, shine (although I

ont partake anymore) and Cheerwine.

Cheerwine, its the state drink in North

arolina. In act, the only place I know that

person can buy Cheerwine, The Nectar o

he Gods, is in North Carolina. But i you

have a new best riend like my buddy Brian,ou can have them bring you back some ater

ne o their visits.

I couldnt wait to take a drink, but it needed

to be cold. Drinking hot Cheerwine would be

worse than drinking spoiled buttermilk, apple

favored shine, (only Yankees drink that), or

maybe even worse. Whats worse than warm

Cheerwine you wonder? Dontask me. I dont know, because

in North Carolina we only

drink our Cheerwine cold.

Anyway, it seemed

like 14 hours beore it was

cold enough to drink. When

the time nally came I can

promise you this, nothing

ever tasted so good. It took

me back to a time long ago,

so I got in touch with some o

my old high school riends,

well, at least the ones who

knew the evil secret about

me still being alive.

Facebook is an easy way to stay in touch,

and its also easy enough to use or us nine year

goin-to-college hillbillies. I put a picture up and

said hi to a couple o riends and beore I knewit there were over 50 comments on it.

Friends rom all over the country and even

one in South Korea started reminiscing about

Cheerwine and old times. Funny stories like

the time we convinced one o my riends that

spreading peanut butter across a hickey was

the only way to make it to go away. So, him

being just enough lesser smart than me asked,

Crunchy or smooth?, and spent the rest othe day with Jiy Peanut butter smeared across

his neck while we all spent the day drinking

beer and snickering.

I have only shared one o my prized

Cheerwines. I gave Gina, the real boss o

Warriors Edge, one. She wasnt near as

excited about the Cheerwine experience as I

was. She just took a sip and said, rather fatly,

It tastes like Cherry Coke.

Not to me. I tasted sweet corn, boiledpeanuts, and cheap Copenhagen. I smelled

resh cut grass on the ootball eld and peanut

butter rom across a snickering room. I tasted

home. Until next time

Keepin it Real - Bubba

Bubba Norton owns and ops the Warriors Edge gym,

the home o the Warrior Fit Program and the nextgeneration o cage fghting legends. Check em out at

www.warriorsedge.net.

WithBubba Norton

www.NBSTREETS.comWe dig so you dont have to.

7/30/2019 TX Citizen 4.25.13

16/16

?

WhowillbethefirstMissTXCitizen?

Think you have the brains,beauty, and marginalpersonality disorder ittakes to be Miss TX

Citizen? Then watch thisspace for info, as we

finalize the sponsors andpromotional participantsfor the June pageant!

Prizes!

Glory!

Immortality!

The 2013 Miss TX Citizen.

She could be you.

Got a business that caters towomen or sells lots of beer?Youre going to want a piece

of this. Send sponsorship/promotional inquiries [email protected].

TX Citizen 4.25.13

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Transcript of TX Citizen 4.25.13