TX Citizen 3.20.14
Transcript of TX Citizen 3.20.14
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.20.14
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P LUS : 7 DAY NEW BRAUNFE LS/SAN MARCOS L IVE MUS IC GU IDE
P LUS : 7 DAY NEW BRAUNFE LS/SAN MARCOS L IVE MUS IC GU IDE
VOLUME THREE
I S S U E 12
03.20.14
15
VOLUME THREE
I S S U E 12
03.20.14
Houston-Ze i tung Implodes | Ant i -SLAPP S lapped | GMO Myths , Busted
"ItakewhatIdoserio
usly.
Idon'ttakewhatoth
erpeoplethinkIdoseriously."D
avidLeeRoth
$1,8
87,7
73.1
4
Traveling Art Getsa Brand-New Studio!
Page 10
Traveling Art Getsa Brand-New Studio!
Page 10
Traveling Art Getsa Brand-New Studio!
Page 10
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TXCITIZEN
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Around&About
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2 AD SALES 830.358.2493
table of contents
1st WordThe Houston-owned Herald-
Zeitung liquidates its remainingstores of credibili ty. 3
15
7
CitizenSoundcheck
The ONLY guide of i ts kindfor the NB/SM Metroplex!
Advice fromUncle Esel
Got a problem? You will. 11
Last WordColby uses science to quash fear;
no doubt incites anger in PanicMommies and hippies everywhere.
Around &AboutWe brea k ou t th e gia nt sc issor sfor Traveling Arts new studio,and Pipes and Drums crawlfrom pub to pub.
13
Due ProcessScientology loses anotherone in the Rathbun case.4
Carpe Canis/
Carpe CattusIts either your house or the bighouse for these furry orphans.
Hot in the Kitchen The TX Citizens Diva of the
Dish gets her meatballs on.
12
The CountysMost WantedLook Mommy!Daddys in the paper!
Ask a MexicanGustavo offends intwo languages.
10
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TXCITIZEN.COM 3
Herald-ZeitungImplodesOn Sunday, March 16, theHouston-owned Herald-Zeitung
put the final nail in its coffin
with a front-page story entitled
Wheres Money? The piece
was written by reporter Dalondo
Moultrie with an assist from Managing Editor
Shawn Lewis. As it turned out, the headlines
unfortunate grammar was the least of the
problems with that report, which more or lessalleged charity fraud on the part of the Moms
of New Braunfels Facebook group. The story
was entirely false.
BackstoryLast November, 15-year-old Logan Davidson
was ambushed as he was coming out of a
classroom at Canyon High School. He was
brutally beaten by another student, and later
died as a result of his injuries.
As is common in these situations, a fund
was established to assist the grieving family
with expenses associated with their loss.
And as is also common, a pack of people
glommed onto the family to get their share
of the spotlight and congratulate themselves
on being so very thoughtful. Weve covered
that story already, and dont need to go into
again. Suffice it to say that the Herald-Zeitungwas right there to get its piece of the action.
We kept a respectful distance.
Not so common in these situations, was
a fund set up for the benefit of the attacker.
The wisdom of that is questionable at best,
while the fact that it was put together
before Davidsons funeral had even taken
place gives insensitive a new definition.
Weve said it before: Compassion for the
attacker is contempt for the victim. Maybe
you wait until a few days after the funeral
until you start supporting the person
responsible for it. Respect for the grieving
and whatnot.
After all, its not like the identity of the
attacker is in question weve seen the video.
Whether or not hes guilty of murder will
be left to a jury to decide, what wont be is
who threw those brutal punches. NOTE TOATTACKERS LAWYER: Would you like to sue
us for saying that? Please, do.
Amateur HourBefore we get into how the HZ
story was put together, I needto explain whats been going
on at the Herald since Doug
Toney retired as Publisher/
Editor-in-Chief due to his inability
to compete with a startup, boutique,
alt-weekly newspaper. This will read as
snarky self-promotion, but its leading up to a
greater point. Stick with me.
After Toney, uh, resigned, Jim Rainey
was brought in to fill Dougs shoes for aboutsix-months, leaving when he realized he had
walked into a train wreck. We were worried
when Rainey showed up the quality of the HZ
improved, quite literally, overnight. Imagine
our delight when he left.
After Jim, Houston sent Neice Bell in
to run the show. By all accounts she is a
very nice person, much nicer than Toney,
but saddled with the staff shes got, unableto compete. So she did the next best thing:
copied the TX Citizen.
It started with an off-handed joke in one
of Dalondo Moultries stories. Then there
were a few editorials mildly critical of safe
targets. Ok. So far, so good. But it wasnt
good enough, and they got bolder with their
gimmick infringement, to the point where I feel
like I deserve half of Bells salary for all the
editing Im apparently doing over there.We publish on Thursdays, with a heavy
emphasis on bars and entertainment. All of a
sudden, the HZ comes out with the Groovin
section on Thursdays, focusing on bars and
entertainment.
We ran The Beer Hunter column for just
over a year, and we have another column,
Advice from Uncle Esel, written by fictional
German, Ken Esel. The HZ doubled-down
on those, and created a fictitious Scot by the
name of Sheamus OGroovahan to review
cocktails. OGroovahan, otherwise known as
HZ Managing Editor Shawn Lewis, is notorious
for not actually sampling all the drinks he
reviews. The Beer Hunter consumed every
last brew he wrote about, because, well,
hes an honest man. As youll see later in this
column, Lewis doesnt let facts get in the way
of, well, anything.
Continued on page 5.
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Scientology Takes Hit onAnti-SLAPPudge Dib Waldrip, whose district includes
Comal County, found the Church ofScientologys argument that Monique
Rathbuns harassment lawsuit infringed on its
First Amendment rights lacked merit and, thus,
can go forward.
Because the Church is a business, Waldrip
ruled, and because the Churchs actions arose
from a business dispute, it cannot accurately
say the lawsuit relates to its First Amendment
rights. The Church of Scientology International
(CSI) filed a motion that claimed the suitviolates its rights to association and religion.
We are obviously extremely pleased,
Rathbun lead attorney Ray Jeffrey said of the
ruling. The other side put so much work and
energy into using the First Amendment to cloak
what they did, but it was all a charade. The judge
saw the substance and cut right to the quick.
The Churchs attorney, Ricardo Cedillo,
would not take phone calls and did not
respond to an email request for comment.Rathbun says she endured months of
consistent harassment and years of surveillance
by the Church at her home in Ingleside on
the Bay, where she lived with her husband,
Mark Marty Rathbun, a former high-ranking
member of the Church. The couple moved to
Bulverde to escape the Church, only to find
surveillance cameras aimed at their new
home. She filed suit in August.
In an attempt to end the suit, the Churchof Scientology International (CSI) filed an Anti-
Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation
motion. An Anti-SLAPP motion is intended to
stop lawsuits that are proven to be based on,
related to, or in response to a defendants
First Amendment rights.
CSI did not deny that it sent its members
to confront the Rathbuns as well as private
investigators to keep tabs on the couple and their
visitors, but maintained it had a First Amendmentright to do so. The Church said its actions were
due to Mark Rathbun offering Scientology
services outside the Church thus, according to
CSI, violating its trademarks and patents.
Monique Rathbuns legal team argued that
the Churchs own admissions showed it to be a
dispute between competing businesses, which
means the Anti-SLAPP statue does not apply.
Waldrip agreed.
As Defendant CSI asserts and argues,Waldrip wrote, Mark Rathbuns activity of
offering Scientology services is a business.
If so, the Churchs own activity of offering
Scientology services is also a business.
The judge also pointed out, citing other
cases and the by the Churchs own admissions,
the evidence sufficiently establishes
Scientology is primarily a business to sell a
good or service be it religious or otherwise.
Waldrip ruled that since the dispute is
one of competing businesses, the Anti-SLAPP
motion does not apply if the litigation arises
from selling or leasing goods and services.
Besides, as Rathbun attorney Jeffrey argued
many times and Waldrip concurred, after years
of surveillance and harassment, the Church neveronce took legal action against the Rathbuns.
No evidence indicates that CSI,
Waldrip wrote, has ever sent Mark Rathbun a
cease and desist letter or sued Mark or Monique
Rathbun for infringement of intellectual property
rights or any other cause of action.
The judge also pointed out that he has to
balance any First Amendment right with Monique
Rathbuns Seventh Amendment right to a jury trial.
Waldrip said that since Monique hasclaimed bodily injury resulting from the Churchs
activity, the Anti-SLAPP motion doesnt apply.
Her claims, he said, can only be validated
by a trial with evidence. Monique testified
the Churchs actions caused her stress and
anxiety, which led to migraines, sleeplessness
and loss of appetite, all of which fall legally
within claims for bodily injury. Such claims of
injuries, Waldrip said, are not in relation to the
Churchs First Amendment rights.Moniques Seventh Amendment rights
cannot be preemptively overridden by
the Defendants First Amendment rights,
Waldrip ruled.
Jeffrey said he was very impressed with
Waldrips jurisprudence. Hes very logical as
he goes through and nails what the evidence
is and how the law applies to the evidence,
the attorney said. He had to wade through
hundreds of pages of motions and evidence toreach this decision.
In a parting comment, the judge took
exception to the manner in which CSI has
consumed an inordinate amount of time.
The Court does conclude, Waldrip
wrote, that the method in which the motions
were litigated, from the discovery to the
objections, etc., resulted in hours upon hours
of courtroom time that could have been better
spend elsewhere.
Nick Rogers covers courts and crime for the TX Citizen.
Due ProcessWITH NICK ROGERS
I think now is a good time to quote David
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TXCITIZEN.COM 5
Continued from page 3.
Since Groovin and OGroovahan
werent cutting into our market share as
planned, and seeing the success weve had
with Uncle Ken Esels fake advice column, they
decided to go one step further, and created
a fake German advice column of their own.
Ask Ethel now graces the Groovin section.
Ethel der Klatsch (Ethel the Gossip) does
double duty, writing restaurant reviews as
well as dispensing fake advice in response to
fake letters. Word is, unlike his OGroovahan
persona, Shawn Lewis actually does eat the
food he, I mean Ethel, reviews. So in the
end, the Managing Editor of the HZ spends
his time eating but not drinking, and writing
under two allegedly hilarious alter-egos,
which is why he doesnt have time to checkfacts when accusing somebody of fraud. I
mean, who can blame him?
We have a section called Around and
About, which features photos of locals doing
fun stuff. Pretty standard newspaper fare.
Groovin came out with a similar section called
Groovin out and about, in and around New
Braunfels. Ugh. (Come on, Shawn. Have an
original thought. There are lots more words
out there than around and about. Were
embarrassed for you over here. Eww.)
They copied everything they could think
of that could possibly account for our appeal.
They tried being funny. They tried being edgy.
They tried and tried and tried and tried,
copying our features right down to the almost-
titles. But none of that worked, and it never
will. First, because theyre not funny or edgy,
and second, because theyre not copying thepart that counts: Getting the story straight.
No mater what it looks like were selling
here news, snark, entertainment, small-
business defense, taxpayer advocacy, light
profanity, government accountability, mild
sexual innuendo, anti-establishment rants its
all an illusion. Our real product is the truth.
Trustworthy information. Information that
someone can repeat without looking like a liar
or an idiot after somebody else double-checks
the facts. Thats our prime asset, and without
it were nothing. The rest is window dressing.
Shawn Lewis keeps stealing the drapes and
expecting the house to build itself.
Shawn, your barrel of trust is empty,
from the fake cocktail reviews, to the fact
that the HZ is noted in the City Hall check
register, to the story were writing about now.
If you cant provide the truth, get out of thetruth business. All of you, for that matter. Run
for office or something.
I think now is a good time to quote DavidLee Roth, on the topic of imitators. This is highly
relevant to where Im going with this:
If you imagine a hundred people running
down the street in a road race and one of them
is in front, then 99 are in back, right? The 99
in the back go How come Ray is in front of the
pack all the time? Well cause hes wearing
red shorts. Cut to the next race: You see 99
people wearing red shorts. Ray is still in front.They go, Uh, it must be the shoes.
The HZ Buys New Shoes,Doesnt Try Them OnAs the de facto public relations arm of City
Hall, the HZ has never done any legitimate
investigative work, so when a woman walked
into their office a few weeks back with a
second-hand story about her friend, theattackers mother, not getting the charity she
was promised, they pounced on the story. They
couldnt believe that someone was tipping
themoff (instead of the TX Citizen, for once)
to something they could actually look into
without angering their masters at City Hall and
the Chamber of Commerce. A real scandal.
An exclusive story. A piece that will catch the
competition completely off-guard.
Except it wasnt true.They talked to the woman with the second-
hand story, and then to the friend of whom she
was speaking. Neither woman told them the
truth. This kind of thing happens all the time
in this business. Hardly anybody who walks
off the street and into a newsroom has their
facts straight, which is why you check them out
before you publish, not after.
For some reason, which were still notprivy to, the attackers mother, (The HZ referred
to her as Maria. Well call her Anita,
because of, you know, Rita Moreno), thought
that the money she had indeed received from
the charity drive was actually from LULAC.
Because Anita wont speak with us now
that shes created a living nightmare for the
charitys administrator, we cant ask her why
she thought that, and thus, cant go after the
person in LULAC who may (or may not have)taken credit for the donations.
Just to make things worse, the HZ printed
Anitas outright charge that the money intended
for her went instead to the victims family:
When I found out that money was given to
the other family, I just thought I want the people
who donated for my family to know we didnt
receive anything The next question from the
HZ should have been Found out from whom?
Continued on page 6.
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W y i t is Happen? badly. Plus youll miss out on being at the top of might be forgiven this point, except Facebook
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Continued from page 5.
Instead of going down that road, the HZ
instead intruded on the Davidson familys grief
yet again, this time with questions about the
whereabouts of the cash intended for their
deceased sons attacker. Nice.
The Davidsons told the HZ that they didnot get the attackers money. The HZ ran the
claim anyway.
PRO NEWSROOM TIP: When grown-ups
write a story, and find out that a completely
unsubstantiated claim is contested, that
claim doesnt run, unless youre using it to
illustrate deception or unreliability on the
part of the claimant. This was not the casein the HZ story, which was told exclusively
from Anitas point of view. She should not
have been allowed to make that statement
unchallenged. But again, that might have
ruined the story.
(And while were on the topic, if my kid
ever brutally attacks your kid, and your kid
dies, and I think you got money intended for
me,Im going to go ahead and let you keep it
without complaining to the press.)
W y i t is Happen?WHYYYYYYYY?Ill tell you why. Because after appropriating
everything else they could from our little
weekly, Lewis and Moultrie thought they
had the big fish on the hook an exclusive,
investigative whopper. They thought that after
all of the things they had lifted from us, they
finally had the prize marlin. That at last, they
were going to be real reporters, and get the
respect from the industry that weve been
sucking up for the last few years. But as weve
learned today, the real work isnt in landing a
fish. A news writers job is to gut it.
In other words, Shawn and Dalondo fell
in love with the story, and nothing was going
to get in the way of that love. They were also
in love with the idea of having an exclusive,
which is why they didnt want to push toohard looking for answers. Too many questions
to too many people might result in a tip-off to
KGNB, or, gods forbid, us. Totally worth the
risk of putting out a completely false story. I
mean, what could happen?
Kids, in all seriousness, I want to drive this
home: Be yourself. Be the best person with your
unique set of qualities that you can. Dont let
anybody seduce you into becoming a shadow
of somebody else, because that always ends
badly. Plus you ll miss out on being at the top ofyour particular game, which is damn satisfying.
Lewis and Moultrie, while certainly good at
something, wont ever feel that satisfaction until
they start to cut their own swath through life and
dedicate themselves to their specific talents. I
suspect their opportunity for a fresh start might
be right around the corner, however.
The FalloutWithin hours of the Sunday HZ hitting thestands and Internet, a tsunami of scorn and
corrections were posted to the HZs Facebook
page by hoards of outraged readers. Shawn
Lewis responded to the disaster by defending
the piece, which he claimed they worked
a whole week on, and by pointing fingers
at sources he and Moultrie didnt try hard
enough to contact during that week. What
took them seven days to create was destroyed
in a matter of minutes, and all those sources
they couldnt seem to find during the previous
week were suddenly right in Lewis face.
None of them were happy.
PRO NEWSROOM TIP: See, when you
try to get in touch with somebody through
Facebook, and youre not on their friends
list, your mail gets sent to their other file,
which, for all intents and purposes, is oftentreated as a spam filter. Moultrie and Lewis
might be forgiven this point, except Facebookproduces a giant message that says something
to the effect of Hey, youre not friends with
this person, so well be putting this message
where they probably wont see it. So they
knew ahead of time that the message wasnt
going to anybodys inbox. But really, had they
actually gotten in touch with those people, all
they would have done is screwed up a really
good story. Advantage: HZ.
For the record, we know how to get
around that little problem with Facebook. Im
not going to say how we do it, because its fun
watching the HZ #### themselves. It really is.
Heres what Moms of New Braunfels
founder Susan Lecher had to say to us about
the situation, via the electronic mail:
We were shocked to read the article by
the HZ as there was no truth to the claims
and will continue to try to serve and supportour community.
We got together in person with fund
administrator Stacy Berry, and she wasnt
happy either. According to Berry, she told the
Herald she wanted to see the correction story
before it ran, and while they contacted her to
verify her quotes, they did not let her review
the story as agreed. Were not surprised.
Continued on page 14.
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7/16TXCITIZEN.COM 7
Thu 3.20
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Fri 3.21
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6:30pm
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5pm
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Rileys Tavern Phoenix Saloon Billys Ice House Homemade Bloody Marys
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.20.14
8/168 AD SALES 830.358.2493
Riley s TavernBarn Yard Stompers
9pm
AJs Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Billys Ice HouseBuggaboo
8pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseWilliam Clark Green
9pm
Gruene HallBo Phillips
1pmCharlie Robison
w/ Crooks
8pm, $25
NB Farm to MarketAshlee Rose
9:30am
The Pour HausWhiskey Rodeo
9pm
River Road Ice HouseBackwater Blvd
w/ American Sons
8pm
Tavern in the Gruene
Buster Jiggs8pm, $5
Vino en VerdeKennCentric w/ LeAnn
9pm
Sun 3.23
Adobe VerdeAustin Will iams6pm
Oma Gruenes Secret GartenBear Fax
2pm
Phoenix SaloonThe Groove Hounds
3pm
True Audio Outland
w/ Chris Edwards Band
7pm
Billys Ice HouseDan Adams
8pmGeronimo VFW 8456Al Dressen & his Super Swing Revue Band
3pm
Gruene HallRuby Jane Smith
12:30pm
Guy Forsyth
5pm
River Road Ice HouseJonny Burke
2pm
The Pour HausLarry Martin Sweeney & Friends
8pm
Tavern in the GrueneWhiskey Rodeo
8pmVineyard at GrueneAaron Stephens
7pm
Mon 3.24Rileys Tavern
Songwriter Showcase
w/ John Whipple
8pm
Gruene HallBret Graham
6pm
The Pour HausSarah Phillips
7pm
Tavern in the GrueneCourt Nance Accident
8pm
Tues 3.25Watering Hole Saloon
Empty Handed Vagabonds
8:30pm
Billy s Ice HouseAustin Gilliam
8pm
Gruene HallJordan Minor & Friends
6pm
The Pour Haus
Open Mic w/ Jon Magill7pm
River Road Ice HouseScott Morgan
8pm
Tavern in the GrueneRoots & Branches
7pm
The Blooms
9:30pm
Wed 3.26
Buffalo Wings & RingsSteven Roloff & Friends
7:30pm
Phoenix SaloonDrew Kennedy & Josh Grider
8pm
Rileys TavernMike Ethan Messick
9pm
Watering Hole SaloonJosh Holdens Open Jam
8:30pm
Billys Ice HouseAaron Stephens
8pm
Gruene HallTom Gillam
6pm
The Pour HausKurt Grien
7pm
River Road Ice HouseSeth James
8pm
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-
8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.20.14
9/16TXCITIZEN.COM 9
Fri 3.21
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm
Agent Orange
w/ Ugly Beats
10pm, $10
Gallery Lineup:
Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigan Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country Store
Randy Rogers Band
w/ American Aquarium
7pm, 18+, $20-$25
Luckenbach Dance Hall
Chris Wall
4pm
Larry Joe Taylor & Deryl Dodd
8pm, $15
R & J Music Pavilion
Brandon Rhyder
8pm
Red Eyed Fly
Visionary, Face the Lights, Bluster,
Keepers of the Frequency, Portrait of the
Revolution
8pm, Outside
Sams Burger Joint
Ruben V
8pm, $13-$45
Stubbs BBQ
Flogging Molly
w/ The Drowning Men,
Black Eyed Vermillion
7pm, Outside
Thirsty Horse Saloon
Kris Gordon
8pm
Sat 3.22
Bonds 007 Rock Bar
Karion, Wicked Angel, Maneaters of Tsavo,
The Ruined Few, Screaming in Silence
8pm
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
Redd Volkaert, 3:30pmSoul Track Mind
10pm
Gallery Lineup:
Scarlett Olson, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigan Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country Store
Chris Knightw/ Folk Family Revival
8pm, 18+, $15-$20
Luckenbach Dance Hall
Mud Dauber/Rockn Billy Chilly Fest
w/ Reckless Kelly, Billy Joe Shaver,
John Evans Band , Chuck Mead, Cody Jinks,
Weldon Hanson, Dale Watson
12pm, $15-$35
R & J Music Pavilion
Felix Truvere
9pm
Red Eyed Fly
Steen, Luke Gibson & the Thieves,
Holy Ka-Kow, Veleno, Telecom
8pm, Outside
Sams Burger Joint
Max Stalling
8pm, $13-$45
Stubbs BBQ
Luke Wade & No Civilians
w/ Dawn & Hawkes, Barrett Baber
10pm, Inside
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Buffalo Wings & Rings
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Faust Brewing Company
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Thursday Nights, 8pm
Old Ice House
Karaoke
Thursdays, Sundays
DJ
Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
Phoenix Saloon
Karaoke
Thursday Nights
Prickly Pear Lounge
Karaoke
Thursdays, Saturdays
DJ KC
Fridays
The Watering Hole Saloon
Karaoke
Thursdays
DJ
Fridays, Saturdays
diversions
-
8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.20.14
10/1610 AD SALES 830.358.2493
Last Thursday, the TX Citizen and our giant scissors helped Ashley, Shannon and a whole pack of artists celebrate the grand opening of Traveling Art's new
location in Gruene Lake Village. Stop by today and enjoy the art, or book a party to learn to paint, draw, and sculpt from the best! Look them up online at
mytravelingart.com, or give them a call right now at 830.515.4993. Art's good for you! Go make some!
If youd like to schedule a free ribbon cutting to celebrate the grand opening or re-opening of your business, send us an email at [email protected] and well make sure its a crazy success.
GRAND
OPENING!GRAND
RE-OPENING!
It's not St Patrick's Day until the New Braunfels Firefighters Pipes and Drums
say it's St Patrick's Day! They said it Monday night all over downtown, so it
totally was. #pubcrawl
AROUND &ABOUT
ADVICE FROM
UNCLE ESEL
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.20.14
11/16TXCITIZEN.COM 11
Uncle Esel,
My friends recently gave me a hard
time because I posted something on
Facebook that said Will Smith is dead.
Only thing is that I didnt post any such
thing. Some people then said that I had
a virus or that my account was hacked.
How does this stuff happen?
Tank You,
Shay
Dear Shay,
You dont necessarily have a virus and
you may not have been hacked, at least not
in the way the word hacked is usually used
(Note to Mrs Krueger, getting spammed is not
the same as getting hacked). More than likely,
you, at some time in the past, had a post on
your wall, perhaps from a friend, that you
clicked on because it caught your attention.
Some examples are the multitude of phony
giveaways for electronics that have been
opened and are therefore free, or perhaps an
airline ticket giveaway. When you clicked on
it, a window opened that asked for permission
to post on your behalf and/or to access yourcontacts. Well, you must have said yes at some
point and wallah, Facebook thinks this is your
new best friend.
Uncle Esel advises readers to not give
permission to any app that you didnt seek
out and verify yourself. Just because a friend
is posting it is not enough to assume it is
safe. Make sure you have protection, and
not the kind in a guys wallet, but protection
for your computer that will stop malwareand Trojans (again, not that kind of Trojan)
from getting you.
Love, K
Dear Esel,
So I read that the guy who leads
that Wetboro church is almost dead. Do
you think he has a special place in Hell
waiting for him?
Tanks,
Raymond
Dear Raymond,
It has been heavily reported that
Westboro Baptist Church patriarch, Fred
Phelps is near death and is expected to
pass in the coming days or weeks at most.
Phelps son, who is not part of the church and
despises his father, has also claimed that hisfather has been removed from the church, but
the reason for this is unknown.
If you believe in such things, it is safe
to say that Phelps will languish in Hell for
eternity. What torments he faces are really not
printable in this column, but you can use your
imagination to figure out what Phelps might be
receiving down there. Imagine, if you will, a
baseball game in Hell where Phelps is forced
to be a catcher for the other team. Not that
theres anything wrong with that.
Love, K
Hello Mr. Esel,
I read that there are several new
housing neighborhoods going in behind
the big Creekside shopping area. I think
traffic here has become a nightmare,
especially around Buc-ees. How the
heck can the city allow this without
doing something about the roads? I
cant stand this.
Tank You Kindly,
Alan
Dear Alan,
With this development, you can count
on the city doing a traffic impact study to
see how road use will be affected by thisnew development. The problem is that the
city knows the impacts but seldom does
anything proactively and waits until it
becomes intolerable to finally move. Creekside
roadways and 306 were actually built by the
developer in exchange for giving them a big
chunk of the sales tax to repay themselves via
taxes collected. Essentially, this was a low
interest loan to the companies that also them
to sell and lease property in order to make
income that is greater than the loans they are
paying back over 15-20 years.
How about this, go down with a lawn chair
and see what the traffic is like today. The 306
and IH 35 intersections were built too small and
now they are planning on adjusting it, but guess
what, it will still be too small for the expected
traffic. In this case, you have to wonder if City
Hall is waiting for TXDOT to bail them out. This
can be a risky bet. Esel thinks the city should
change their motto to reflect their thinking; If
you build it, they will come. And they will wait
in traffic for long periods every day.
Love, K
Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and iswell known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics.If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, sendyour question to Uncle Esel at: [email protected] sure to write Question for Uncle Esel in the subjectline of your email.
UNCLE ESEL
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MOST WANTEDCOMAL COUNTY S
ASK A MEXICAN!!
-
8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.20.14
12/1612 AD SALES 830.358.2493
MOST WANTED
$200REWARD
MEDELLIN, JESSERODRIGUEZMale 507 200 lbsDOB: 01/01/1976CHARGE: Possessionof a controlled
substance pg 1 under1 gram and theft ofproperty under $1500with 2 or moreprevious convictions
CLEMMONS,
TOBY LEEMale 602 210 lbsDOB: 05/20/1980CHARGE: Bail
jumping and fail to
appear felony andfailure to appear fordriving whileintoxicated
DELAFUENTE,RENE SALAZARMale 509 165 lbsDOB: 03/09/1970CHARGE: Bail jumpingand fail to appearfelony and three counts
of failure to appear fordriving whileintoxicated with childunder 15 years of age
GARDNER,
ADAMMale 508 210 lbsDOB: 11/09/1973CHARGE: Failure toappear for possession
of a controlledsubstance
AGUILAR,
HEATHERFemale 507 173 lbsDOB: 05/10/1988CHARGE: Burglary of
habitation and creditcard or debit cardabuse against elderly
LINDIG,
JESSICA MARIEFemale 502 180 lbs
DOB: 01/26/1979CHARGE: Failure to
appear for possessionof a controlled
substance
PHILLIPS,MICHELLE J
Female 502 135 lbsDOB: 09/27/1982
CHARGE: Bail jumping
and fail to appear felonyand fail to appear forpossession of a
controlled substance
TURNER,AARON LEE
Male 508 130 lbsDOB: 07/20/1966
CHARGE: Bail jumpingand fail to appear
felony and failure toappear forgery
financial instrument
WHITE,RONALD JEY
Male 510 175 lbsDOB: 10/31/1975
CHARGE: Affidavit ofsurety to surrender for
tamper/fabricatephysical evidence with
intent to impair
RODRIGUEZ,
ARTURO LOPEZ
Male 506 170 lbs
DOB: 12/27/1989CHARGE: Failure to
appear for evadingarrest or detention
with vehicle
The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true and accurateaccount as of Monday, March 17, 2014 at 10:00 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try toapprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County Sheriffs Office and are notindicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any personis innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.
FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL
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830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
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CATES,JOEL DAVIDMale 510 175 lbsDOB: 01/19/1986CHARGE: Failure toappear for possessionof a controlled
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ARRESTE
D
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Mexican: Whats the story
with Mexican pastries? Like most
cultures, Mexicans seem to be cribbing
from the French, but pan dulce just
winds up tasting l ike a dinner roll with
a little icing on top. So many other parts
of Mexican cuisine emphasize strong
flavors. Why must the best part of the
meal be so bland?
Un Bolillo
Dear French Roll Gabacho: Youre
being a bit harsh. Mexican pan dulce (sweet
breads for those who dont habla) is as varied
as Mexican skin tones, from the conchas
(the ones that look like sea shellshence,
their name) to empanadas (turnovers stuffed
with everything from apples to pumpkin to
coconut cream and strawberries) to rosca
de reyes (the pan dulce offered during the
Feast of the Epiphany thats essentially aring of sugar upon sugar) to that pan dulce
with a top layer consisting solely of candy
sprinkles. But youre right to note that most
pan dulce appears to originate from French
pastriesbecause thats true. You can
blame two historical porqueras for this: the
occupation by Emperor Maximilian that also
brought Mexico the waltzes danced duringquinceaeras, and the Porfiriato, the long
reign of Mexican President Porfirio Daz
in which he tried to modernize Mexico by
trying to act French and giving away land
to the evil gabachos. I personally dont have
a problem with pan dulce being a mestizo
version of French yummiesthis is Mexico,
after all, a country borne from the mixing
of foreign culturesbut I always like to
point out pan dulces roots to people who
still insist theres such a thing as authentic
Mexican food. Their equivocations in trying
to justify this sweet, inconvenient truth after
having blasted a Tex-Mex combo plate as
not authentically Mexican is as laughable
as Mexican President Enrique Pea Nieto
trying to appear as anything other than the
pendejo he is.
Dear Mexican: I was wondering
how the Mexican-American
population regards Jaime Escalante
and his legacy as an educator. In mymind, he is a civil rights pioneer, in
that he urged his Mexican-American
students to break through the
unofficial caste system existing in
the United States, wherein Mexicans
would have to work lower-payi ng and
lower-skilled jobs than their white
counterparts. Many of his students
are lawyers, doctors and educators.
Is there a consensus among Mexican-
American s that Escalante was nothing
short of a hero because of the high
standards he placed on his students?
Michael from Menifee
Dear Gabacho: If only. The sad
verdad is that Escalantewhose story was
immortalized in the 1988 film Stand and
Deliver, which has been seen by every
Mexican high school student in class at
least twice a year ever sinceis only
universally admired by his former students
nowadays. Chicano yaktivists dismiss
him because he was a strong opponent
of bilingual education and palled around
with conservatives; Freire pedagogical
types find his teaching methods not radical
enough. Theres an elementary school in
the working-class city of Cudahy named
after him, sure, but thats about it in termsof public respectand if that doesnt
exemplify the Chicano concept of crabs in
a bucket, Im not sure what can.
Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his fan on Facebook,follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano
or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!
ASK A MEXICAN!!
Hot in the Kitchen!Carpe Canis
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8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.20.14
13/16TXCITIZEN.COM 13
If you ever get caught with an invitation to a party on short notice, here is a quick and easy
recipe that will delight your host and the other guests. Or maybe youre tired of your family
asking whats for dinner? at 5:30pm when you dont have the energy to cook a huge meal.
Well, these chicken meatballs are full of flavor and are a great lower calorie and lower fat
alternative to ground beef meatballs. They can be pre-made and frozen for future use, along
with a homemade marinara sauce. Serve these healthy meatballs as an appetizer for parties or
at home on top of spaghetti for dinner, or even meatball subs for the kids!
Chicken Parmesan Meatballs
1 lbs chicken sausage removed from
casing or ground chicken
cup Italian breadcrumbs
1 cup fresh grated Parmesan cheese 1 tsp garlic powder
tsp onion powder
1 tsp dried Italian seasoning
tsp crushed red pepper
2 tbls fresh parsley, chopped
tsp fresh cracked black pepper
1 lg egg, beaten
1 cup homemade marinara sauce (see
below) 1 cup fresh mozzarella cheese, thinly
sliced
Preheat oven to 350 and line baking sheet with parchment paper. In a large bowl,
combine the first 10 ingredients. Combine well but do not over mix. Roll chicken mixture into
1-inch meatballs and place on prepared baking sheet. Bake for 16-18 minutes or until lightly
browned. Spoon about 1-tbls marinara sauce over each meatball and place a small slice of
mozzarella on top of each one. Return to oven and bake for about 5 minutes or until cheese is
melted. Garnish with additional grated Parmesan and a sprinkle of dried parsley flakes.
The following marinara sauce recipe is a cost effective alternative to store brought jar sauce. 3 tbls olive oil
1 cup yellow onion, diced
3 garlic cloves, crushed and chopped
3-28 oz cans of Muir Glen Organic Diced Fire Roasted Tomatoes (This brand can be found
in your local grocery stores canned tomato section)
cup fresh shredded basil
1 tbls fresh chopped oregano or dried oregano akes
Salt & fresh ground black pepper to taste.
In a medium saucepan, heat olive oil over medium-low heat. Add onions and saut untiltranslucent; about 4 minutes. Add garlic and cook until garlic is almost brown; another 2
minutes. Add canned tomatoes and simmer about 30 minutes. Add basil and oregano and
simmer for 30 minutes more stirring occasionally. Use a stick blender or food processor to
thoroughly mix your sauce ingredients. Add salt & pepper to taste. Left-over sauce can be
portioned out and frozen for future use.
Until next time, Eat, Drink & Be Sherri!
Sherri
Sherri Gallagher is a New Braunfels personal chef who grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she began cooking at
the age of 8. Her culinary virtuosity can be experienced at the Regal Ravioli food truck in Austin, (regalraviloi.com), and at
various catering functions and local home dinner & cocktail parties. She can be contacted at [email protected].
Hot in the Kitchen!with Sherri GallagherCarpe Canis
830.625.5700 happytailspetranch.com
Grooming
Boarding
Daycare
Valet Services
Pet Photography
Natural & Organic Treats
Happy Tails Pet Ranch
is a family owned and
operated full service
grooming and boarding
facility located in the
heart of New Braunfels.
This space generously provided by
Gilly is a quiet, affectionate 3 year old Red Heeler. There is a sad story hidden
behind her smile, though - she has heartworms.
She needs to find a quiet foster home for around 60-90 days, preferably
with no other pets. She will need crate rest and wont be able to exercise
during this time, so homes without stairs or kids would be best. She is current
on all of her shots. Her heartworm treatment has already been paid for, she
just cant start it until we find a quiet place for her.
Why is this all necessary? When heartworms are treated, they break up
and travel through the cardiac system until they are dissolved completely. If a
dogs blood pressure rises during this time, a clot can form, leading to
complications or even death. The worms are still small, and Gilly is still
healthy and fairly young. The doctors think she has a good chance, but every
day we wait, the heartworms grow.
Please help us help her! Gilly needs someone to open their heart and home
for just a few months.
If you think youre Gillys human, give the Human Society of New Braunfelsa call at 830.629.5287, or stop by in person at 3353 Morningside Drive.
Meet Gilly!
are what advertisers are paying for. Anyway,theres no school on Sundays, so we think its
-
8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.20.14
14/1614 TX CITIZEN14 AD SALES 830.358.2493
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Continued from page 6.
NOTE: We werent Facebook friends
with Lecher or Berry, either. Only took a few
minutes to get in touch with both of them
though. #wetryharder
NOTE NOTE: Berry did not start the
fund for the attackers family. She took overadministration of the fund from the founder.
One of the demands that people were
making on the Facebook thread was for the
HZ to correct the story on the front page of
the following Sundays issue, because the
Sunday edition goes to a lot more people
than the Tuesday edition does. Managing
Editor Lewis responded to one of those
demands in this way:
Lisa, our circulation numbers are pretty
consistent throughout the week
Yeah, we checked that. A quick phone call
to the HZ gave us these distribution numbers:
Average of 11,700 Copies on Sunday
Average of 9,000 Copies on Weekdays
A difference of 2,700 copies, which
is about a 23 percent weekday drop off.
Hmm. But wait. We remembered a piece that
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief Neice Bell wrote
back on October 26, where she discussed
circulation. She claimed that distribution was
up by an astonishing 35 percent. Earlier in
that piece she described how they made
that jump: By donating 2,500 copies perday to the NBISD. (35% of 6,500 is 2,275.)
You know what schools do with donated
newspapers? This:
Heck, we could go from 5,000 a week to
100,000 a week if thats all it takes, but we
figure thats a sneaky way to bump up your
distribution, especially since those numbers
safe to pull the NBISDs 2,500 out of the daily
number. Now lets see what we end up with
on a Tuesday:
9,000 2,500 = 6,500
So thats 6,500 on Tuesday, versus
11,700 on Sunday. A difference of 5,200
copies. Thats over a 44% percent variance, or
as Shawn Lewis would say, pretty consistent.
Yep. Seems legit.
Despite multiple demands for an apology,
and the fact that a correction was printed in the
Tuesday, March 17 edition, none have been
offered. We expect Neice Bell will issue a
real nice one after shes finished firing people.
For what its worth, we hope she doesnt fire
anybody. We like what theyve done with the
HZ. Oh boy, do we ever.
UpshotScrew-ups happen. Ive got a few big ones
in my catalogue. How one handles them
defines both the situation and the character of
the mistaken party. There was only one way
to deal with this once the cat was out of the
bag, which was to unequivocally apologize,
and then prominently set the story straight.
Defending the piece, making excuses, and
blaming the victims of your negligence is
nothing short of unprofessional, hack work.
Man up, take your swats, and make the
necessary repairs. Thats how you keep the
respect of your readership. And your self-
respect, for that matter.
One more thing. The HZ story referred
to what happened between Logan and his
attacker as a fight. It was not a fight. It was
a premeditated attack, complete with videocamera ready to catch the action. Logan was
punched twice in the head/neck, and went
down without resistance. He didnt see it
coming. He never got back up.
\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
Full-color parts courtesy of TX Citizen overruns
FREE
-
8/12/2019 TX Citizen 3.20.14
15/16TXCITIZEN.COM 15
GMO DearThe winters in Vermont are long and brutal.
Over time, the cold creeps into your bones,
and you begin to think youll never be warm
again. But theres a bright spot in all that
harshness: it makes you appreciate all the
more the things that youre missing. For me,
just as March raises its frost-covered head, that
thing is an orange.
Glorious. Juicy. Delicious.
I had an orange just the other day, and
it was the same semi-spiritual experience
that I have come to expect. As part of my
celebration for myself, I posted an ode togenetically modified foods on Facebook,
thanking scientific marvels for my treat. I will
often take mildly unfair swipes at GMOs and
organic foods because I know that this type
of trolling is sure to get a bite or two even
among my friends.
First, let me make it clear that I understand
the modern usage for both genetically
modified and organic. I just cant resistpoking some fun at the way that many of us
believe that changing language will somehow
change reality. The truth is that any number
of things we eat are genetically modified in
one way or another, and there is nothing
particularly scary about that. It is also true
that avoiding modern farming methods
and chemicals will not make your food any
healthier or taste any better. Of course, neither
of those statements is likely to be left alone
without hours of debate.
I have discussed both topics in print
before, but it occurred to me that it might be
easier to tackle the discussion of GMOs in a
different way.
I actually have nothing against people
who try to stay away from genetically
modified foods. Im comfortable enough in
my own skin to allow others to eat what theylike, and for the most part, what someone else
eats has no real effect on me. I do draw the
line at misconceptions and fear mongering,
though. There are several undeniable and
easily verifiable facts about GMOs that
everyone should accept.
There is no evidence that GMOs are
dangerous to humans.
I have seen studies that imply correlations
between GMOs and various effects, and I
have seen wild interpretations of various data,
but I have never seen any actual evidence that
GMOs are dangerous to humans. I still have
people send me studies, reports, and articles,
and I will continue to read them, but I have
yet to see anything that rises to the level of
actual evidence. Lack of evidence is no proof
of safety, but in a world full of very real
dangers, the burden of proof lies with those
who suggest a problem.
Monsanto is not about to bring on the
sterility apocalypse.
Various levels of this myth abound, somecrazier than others. Like all good myths, a
seed of truth is at the center of the story.
Monsanto does have genetic technology
that allows them to make seeds that produce
sterile seeds at harvest, but thats really
where the truth ends. Monsanto did not
develop the technology; they actually bought
it from another company. Monsanto does
not employ the technology and have agreedseveral times and in writing that they will not
do so. Even if they did, this would hardly
mean the end of life on this planet. While the
occasional non GMO crop might get cross
pollenated and thereby contaminated, it is
not within the realm of possibility that this
could happen on a grand scale. Furthermore,
if it did happen, the non GMO farmer would
actually have a legal case against Monsanto
not the other way around.
Monsanto will not sue you if their
GMOs infect (cross pollenate) your crops.
This comes from a case where Monsanto
sued a farmer who they said was using their
Roundup resistant seeds without permission.
The farmer in question argued that his crops
had been cross pollenated and he was not to
blame. Monsanto received no settlement in thiscase. Whats more the court was convinced
that the farmer was trying to steal Monsantos
technology. The farmer harvested his seed
crop from a section he knew was most likely to
have been cross pollenated, and he first used
Roundup to kill plants that had not been. In
either case, Monsanto received no settlement
even though the court agreed that their patent
had been violated because they could showno actual damages, nor prove the farmer
received any benefit.
Its better for people in third world
countries to eat GM rice than to starve or go
blind from vitamin A deficiency.
I cant see any reason why this should be
controversial in any way. As before, there isnt
any evidence that Golden Rice is dangerous,
but there is conclusive evidence that starvation
and vitamin A deficiency are. While taking time
out of your busy schedule to save the planet,
pencil in that poor people are people too, and
they have the same interest in living that you do.
The use of purchased seed has
been going on for years because it workswell for farmers.
Again, Monsanto is often seen as a
culprit here. The truth is that purchasing seed
as opposed to saving part of a harvest has
been going on since before Monsanto got into
the business. Imagine, if you will, how much
time and effort are saved by purchasing seed
every year for a farmer. No longer does he
need to worry about which portion to save or
to be concerned that something might happen
to his seed before planting. A company
simply provides the seed, usually with better
reliability and potency than what could be
taken from his own harvest. Division of labor
can be a good thing.
GMOs do change the way farming is
done, but this seems to be a good thing, not
a bad one. Food production is increased and
use of pesticides and fertilizers are decreased.Thats how technology works.
There was a time when farming itself was
the new technology. A one point a plow was
a new idea. Farmers have been refining their
skills and trying to get better more bountiful
crops from time immemorial. Gene splicing
and cross-species creations may seem strange,
but they are really just the latest in a long line
of advances that have bettered society.
I cant stop anyone from being overly
cautious, and I welcome people to make their
own decisions about GMOs. I hope people
will read through my list of truths and research
for themselves where necessary, but if you
insist on hating GMOs, have at it. Just try not
to hit me in the head while youre doing all
that hand waving.
You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.blogspot.com.
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