Cynthia Baur and Lynn Sokler

Introduction to Plain Language

Office of the Director

Office of the Associate Director for Communication (OADC)

The guidelines in this report are not clinical guidelines; compliance is neither mandatory nor tracked by CDC.

However, CDC monitors the status of student health behaviors and school health policies and practices

nationwide through three surveillance systems. These systems provide information about the degree to

which students are participating in healthy behaviors and schools are developing and implementing the

policies and practices recommended in the guidelines. The Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (YRBSS)

monitors priority health-risk behaviors (e.g., unhealthy dietary behaviors and physical inactivity) and the

prevalence of obesity and asthma among high school students. YRBSS includes a national, school-based

survey conducted by CDC and state, territorial, tribal, and district surveys conducted by state, territorial, and

local education and health agencies and tribal governments. YRBSS data are used to 1) measure progress

toward achieving national health objectives for Healthy People 2020 and other program and policy

indicators, 2) assess trends in priority health-risk behaviors among adolescents and young adults, and 3)

evaluate the effect of broad school and community interventions at the national, state, and local levels. In

addition, state, territorial, and local agencies and nongovernmental organizations use YRBSS data to set and

track progress toward meeting school health and health promotion program goals, support modification of

school health curricula or other programs, support new legislation and policies that promote health, and seek

funding and other support for new initiatives. The CDC School Health Policies and Practices Study (SHPPS) is a

national survey conducted periodically to assess school health policies and practices at the state, district,

school, and classroom levels. SHPPS data are used to 1) identify the characteristics of each school health

program component (e.g., physical education and activity and nutrition services) at the state, district, school,

and classroom (where applicable) levels across elementary, middle, and high schools; 2) identify persons

responsible for coordinating and delivering each school health program component and their qualifications

and educational background; 3) identify collaborations that occur among staff members from each school

health program component and with staff members from outside agencies and organizations; and 4)

describe changes in key policies and practices over time. The School Health Profiles (i.e., Profiles) is a system

of surveys assessing school health policies and practices in states, large urban school districts, territories, and

tribal governments. State, local, and territorial education and health officials use Profiles data to 1) describe

school health policies and practices and compare them across jurisdictions, 2) identify professional

development needs, 3) plan and monitor programs, 4) support health-related policies and legislation, 5) seek

funding, and 6) garner support for future surveys. Results from the surveys are described throughout this

report.

WALL OF WORDS

10-20 seconds

Source: Jakob Nielsen, Alertbox, September 12, 2011, How Long Do Users Stay on

Web Pages? www.useit.com/alertbox/page-abandonment-time.html

Plain Writing Act of 2010

Requires executive agencies to use plain language

in public documents as of October 13, 2011 Public communication except regulations

Consider subject matter expertise of the audience

Requires trained staff in plain writing

Encourages public comment on our use of plain

writing

Affects staff who write, edit and clear documents

for the public

More than the Law

CDC Operational Policy: Implementation of the Plain

Writing Act of 2010

http://isp-v-maso-apps.cdc.gov/policy/Doc/policy582.pdf

CDC/ATSDR Action Plan to Improve Health Literacy

Goal1, strategy 1: Develop staff skills in clear communication and

health literacy.

http://intranet.cdc.gov/od/oc/subTopic/health.htm

Plain language

Plain writing = written communication

Plain language = all communication

At CDC, we need plain language

because we communicate in writing,

images, numbers, and spoken

language

Plain Language at CDC

Plain language improves communication. Decide

who you are trying to communicate with and

decide on your key message. Be clear.

Dr. Thomas Frieden, CDC Director

Plain Language for our Grandmas (and Everyone Else)

Dialogue about sickle cell disease on CDC Connects,

March 13, 2012

“Becoming a geneticist did not seem practical; I could

not explain to my grandma what I did [as a geneticist],

so I decided to go into public health.”

Dr. Althea Grant, Chief, Epidemiology and Surveillance Branch,

Division of Blood Disorders, NCBDDD

“And your comment, ‘I need to be able to explain to my

grandmother the importance of what I am doing’ – I

think that is very much the heart of what we can and

should do here. “

Dr. Thomas Frieden, CDC Director

Health Literacy and Plain Language are NOT the Same

Health literacy includes finding, processing,

understanding and deciding on health information and

services

Depends on a mix of skills and circumstances

Many methods and techniques to address health literacy

Visit www.cdc.gov/healthliteracy for information and resources

Plain language is one technique to help get an

audience’s attention and lower the cognitive

processing demands of information

Visit www.plainlanguage.gov for information and resources

Overview

Definition of plain language

Plain language techniques

Examples

Next steps

What is plain language?

Communication that your audience or readers

can understand the first time they hear or

read it.

Plain language =

Clarity

Plain Language Myths

Plain Language is NOT: 1) Baby talk, or an attempt to be folksy, playful, or pc

2) Stripping out necessary technical and legal information

3) Just editorial “polishing” after you finish writing

4) Imprecise

5) Just using pronouns in a Q and A format

6) Something the lawyers will never go for

7) Easy

Why use plain language?

To make your message

understandable

and

credible

Plain language means fewer calls from customers

Veterans Benefits form letter

Jackson, MS DVA office

Old Letter New Letter

Calls per month

(per counselor)

9.4 1.6

Calls per year

(10 counselors)

1128 192

What Happens When Readers Don’t Understand?

You may have to:

Answer phone calls

Write interpretative letters

Write explanatory documents

Litigate

Your audience may:

Get sick

Spend more money on treatment than prevention

Actual State Department Question

Have you ever been refused admission to the U.S., or been the subject

of a deportation hearing or sought to obtain or assist others to obtain

a visa, entry into the U.S., or any other U.S. immigration benefit by

fraud or willful misrepresentation or other unlawful means? Have you

attended a U.S. public elementary school on student (F) status or a

public secondary school after November 30, 1996 without reimbursing

the school?

Yes □ No□

Goals of Plain Language

Help the reader find the information

Help the reader understand the information

Remember

If your document doesn’t do both, it’s not plain language.

What are the main elements of plain language?

Logical organization Understand your message

Know your audience

Start with your main (most important) point

Headings*

Word choice The active voice

Common, everyday words

Short sentences

“You” and other pronouns

Presentation Lists and tables

Easy-to-read design features

Source: Federal Plain Language Guidelines www.plainlanguage.gov

Focus outward--on the reader

NOT… BUT…

What do I want to say? What does the audience need to

know?

How can I protect my interests? How can I serve the audience’s

interests?

What can I do to impress you? What can I clearly express to the

audience?

Coast Guard Boating Information

CO Detector Update:

The Coast Guard has conducted an investigation to determine what

carbon monoxide (CO) detection devices are available to recreational boaters, such that, when installed and activated could reduce the risk of being exposed to high levels of CO -THAT SILENT KILLER. A variety of technologies is available for detecting the presence of CO on boats and should be considered by recreational boaters to reduce their risk of injury or death while boating.

(72 words)

Coast Guard Boating Information

Carbon monoxide kills silently (CO). The Coast Guard

recommends that you use a carbon monoxide detection

device on your boat to reduce the risk of being exposed to

high levels of CO. You may choose from a variety of devices.

(40 words)

Organize to serve the reader

Anticipate questions an informed reader is likely to

ask

Organize writing to answer questions in the order

the reader will ask them

Use headings

Allow the reader to quickly find relevant information

Break up the information

Increase blank space on the page

Informative headings help the reader

navigate the document

The guidelines in this report are not clinical guidelines; compliance is neither mandatory nor tracked by CDC.

However, CDC monitors the status of student health behaviors and school health policies and practices

nationwide through three surveillance systems. These systems provide information about the degree to

which students are participating in healthy behaviors and schools are developing and implementing the

policies and practices recommended in the guidelines. The Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (YRBSS)

monitors priority health-risk behaviors (e.g., unhealthy dietary behaviors and physical inactivity) and the

prevalence of obesity and asthma among high school students. YRBSS includes a national, school-based

survey conducted by CDC and state, territorial, tribal, and district surveys conducted by state, territorial, and

local education and health agencies and tribal governments. YRBSS data are used to 1) measure progress

toward achieving national health objectives for Healthy People 2020 and other program and policy

indicators, 2) assess trends in priority health-risk behaviors among adolescents and young adults, and 3)

evaluate the effect of broad school and community interventions at the national, state, and local levels. In

addition, state, territorial, and local agencies and nongovernmental organizations use YRBSS data to set and

track progress toward meeting school health and health promotion program goals, support modification of

school health curricula or other programs, support new legislation and policies that promote health, and seek

funding and other support for new initiatives. The CDC School Health Policies and Practices Study (SHPPS) is a

national survey conducted periodically to assess school health policies and practices at the state, district,

school, and classroom levels. SHPPS data are used to 1) identify the characteristics of each school health

program component (e.g., physical education and activity and nutrition services) at the state, district, school,

and classroom (where applicable) levels across elementary, middle, and high schools; 2) identify persons

responsible for coordinating and delivering each school health program component and their qualifications

and educational background; 3) identify collaborations that occur among staff members from each school

health program component and with staff members from outside agencies and organizations; and 4)

describe changes in key policies and practices over time. The School Health Profiles (i.e., Profiles) is a system

of surveys assessing school health policies and practices in states, large urban school districts, territories, and

tribal governments. State, local, and territorial education and health officials use Profiles data to 1) describe

school health policies and practices and compare them across jurisdictions, 2) identify professional

development needs, 3) plan and monitor programs, 4) support health-related policies and legislation, 5) seek

funding, and 6) garner support for future surveys. Results from the surveys are described throughout this

report.

CDC monitors the status of student health behaviors and school health policies and practices nationwide through three

surveillance systems*. These systems provide information about the degree to which students are participating in

healthy behaviors and schools are developing and implementing the policies and practices recommended in the

guidelines.

The Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (YRBSS)

monitors priority health-risk behaviors (e.g., unhealthy dietary behaviors and physical inactivity) and the prevalence

of obesity and asthma among high school students

includes a national, school-based survey conducted by CDC and state, territorial, tribal, and district surveys

conducted by state, territorial, and local education and health agencies and tribal governments.

YRBSS data are used to:

…

…

...

The CDC School Health Policies and Practices Study (SHPPS)

is a national survey conducted periodically to assess school health policies and practices at the state, district, school, and

classroom levels.

SHPPS data are used to:

…

…

…

….

The School Health Profiles (i.e., Profiles)

is a system of surveys assessing school health policies and practices in states, large urban school districts, territories, and

tribal governments.

Profiles data is used to :

…

Eliminate

Excess content

Think about your purpose, your topic, and your audience. If content

doesn’t further your goals, don’t include it!

Excess words

Some common sources of wordiness (we’ll review only some of these

today)

• Passive voice

• Redundancies

• Prepositional phrases

• Hidden verbs

• Unnecessary modifiers

• Failure to use pronouns

Use active, not passive voice

Active voice is more clear, concise and direct

Passive is a characteristic of bureaucratese

“Mistakes were made.”

Identifying passive voice

The person doing the action usually follows the verb.

Example: Arlene was promoted by her boss.

The verb has two parts: The verb “to be” plus the past participle of another verb.

Example: The house will be leased by Fred.

Why Avoid Passive Voice

Passive voice

Can disguise who does what:

The memo was written yesterday.

Active voice

Makes it clear who does what:

The Director wrote the memo yesterday.

Why Avoid Passive Voice

Passive Voice

Is wordy:

The application must be completed by the applicant and

received by the financial office at the time designated by

that office.

Active Voice

Is concise:

We must receive your completed application by the deadline

that we establish.

Why Avoid Passive Voice

Passive Voice

Is awkward:

Consultation from respondents was obtained to

determine the estimated burden

Active Voice Is natural:

We consulted with respondents to determine the

estimated burden.

Passive to Active Voice Exercise

Your application has been denied by the Department of State.

The submission you filed will be reviewed by the judges.

Excess and/or unauthorized expenses, delays, or luxury accommodations and services will not be reimbursed by the company, but will be borne by the employee.

Possible Answers

The company will not reimburse you for

– unauthorized expenses,

– delays, or

– luxury accommodations and services.

You must pay for

– unauthorized expenses,

– excess delays, or

– luxury accommodations and services.

Avoid hidden verbs

Hidden verbs are verbs disguised as nouns. They are

generally longer than their true verb forms.

Hidden Verbs

Conduct an analysis Analyze

Present a report Report

Do an assessment Assess

Provide assistance Help

Came to the conclusion of Concluded

Don’t sound so bureaucratic

Limit jargon and acronyms

Contractions aren’t bad

Use everyday words

Two kinds of jargon

Necessary technical terms

Example: Habeas corpus, plaintiff

Obscure and often pretentious language marked by

circumlocutions and long words

Example: Hereby, Wherefore, ab initio

39

DBRITE

TAEP

TDLS

TDWR

ATB

FAA

ACE-IDS

STARS

TRACON

ETVS

CTAS

DVRS

ICAO

ITWS

pb-ICE

RACD IPDS

ARTS

ACD

TWIP

ASOS

ASR

IWG

TVSR

SATDS

FDIO

FDAD

FIAT

TDW

DEDS

IPT

39

5 acronyms are too many An OIC totaling $100,000 was submitted by two related breweries located

in the southeast to settle FAA & IRC violations cited as a result of a COLA

Fraud Investigation. The husband of the breweries’ co-owner

manipulated eleven certificates of label approval (COLAs) by changing

information to make it appear that TTB had approved the COLAs. Some

labels were not previously submitted to TTB for review on COLA

applications and other labels that were submitted had been rejected. In

addition, seven COLAs previously approved by TTB were altered to

conceal qualifications and expiration dates to make it appear as if the

COLAs were valid and without any limitation. These manipulated/altered

COLAs were then submitted to various state regulatory agencies for

purposes of brand registration filings. The breweries also sold malt

beverages without obtaining a COLA or after an approved COLA had

expired. The breweries shipped a combined total of 300,931 cases/kegs

of malt beverages in violation of the FAA Act.

Limiting acronyms and abbreviations

Use “we” for the agency

Don’t use acronyms and abbreviations for infrequent

phrases

Try another style (the Council)

Make them pronounceable

(STARS, TRACON, FSDO)

Use everyday words

Anticipate Expect

Attempt Try

Commence Begin, start

Demonstrate Show, prove

Implement Start

In the event that If

Submit Send, give

Terminate End, cancel

Does word placement make a difference?

Yesterday a mad dog bit five men and women in the south end.

This section applies to appeals of orders involving the reporting and payment of royalties or other payments due under Federal oil and gas leases pending on the date this rule becomes effective.

This rule proposes the Spring/Summer subsistence harvest regulations in Alaska for migratory birds that expire on August 31, 2003.

Use lists

Lists--

Make it easy for the reader to identify all items or

steps in a process,

Add blank space for easy reading, and

Help the reader see the structure of your document.

But don’t make lists too long

Research suggests that seven items are the maximum that

work well in a list.

Longer lists are hard to navigate.

Why use tables?

Tables--

Save words

Make it easy to locate specific provisions

Make it easy to take in complex material at a glance

Make your logic and structure clear

Sending expense forms

We must receive your completed expense form on or before

the 15th day of the second month following the month you

are reporting if you do not submit your form electronically, or

the 25th day of the second month following the month you

are reporting if you submit your form electronically.

When must I send my completed expense form?

If you send your form--

Then we must receive it by--

• Electronically, • The 25th day of the second…

• Paper or fax, • The 15th day of the second

Flextime

The FDIC nationwide flexible time band extends from 6:30 a.m. to

9:15 a.m., with opportunity to schedule arrival time every 15

minutes within the flexible time band. FDIC core hours are from

9:15 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Employees on flexible work schedules may

be scheduled to work no later than 7:00 p.m. The scheduled hours

plus chosen lunch period for employees on regular work schedules

may not result in a departure time later than 6:00 p.m. Employees

may work no later than 6:00 p.m. under a 5/4-9 schedule or 7:00

p.m. under a 4/10 schedule.

Flextime

Arrival Time Schedule Type Departure time-

No Later Than

Arrival time for

all schedule

types are 6:30 to

9:15 a.m. within

a flexible time

band of 15

minute intervals

Regular

6:00 p. m.

Flexible 7:00 p.m.

5/4-9 (eight 9-hour days + one

8-hour day)

6:00 p.m.

4/10 (four 10-hour days) 7:00 p.m.

Core Business Hours: 9:15 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.

Dual enrollment for Dental or Vision Insurance coverage or for FDIC Option 2, Spouse/Domestic Partner Life Insurance, is prohibited.

For dental insurance coverage, if you are married to, or a declared domestic partner 1 of, an FDIC employee or retiree, each of you may be enrolled for Self-Only or one may be enrolled for Self & Family with the other person enrolled as a dependent.

For vision insurance coverage, if you are married to, or a declared domestic partner 1 of, an FDIC employee, each of you may be enrolled for Self-Only or one of you may be enrolled for Self & Family with the other person enrolled as a dependent. If you are married to, or a declared domestic partner of, an FDIC retiree, you may enroll for Self & Family since vision insurance does not continue into retirement.

If your spouse/domestic partner is enrolled in FDIC Basic Life Insurance as an employee or a retiree, you are not eligible to enroll in FDIC Option 2, Spouse/Domestic Life Insurance.

If you are married to, or a declared domestic partner 1 of, an FDIC employee or retiree,

you may not have dual enrollment in the following programs, but

you may choose another option:

Program Status Option

Dental insurance

coverage

Employee -each of you may be

enrolled for Self-Only or

Retiree

-One may be enrolled for

Self & Family with the

other person enrolled as a

dependent.

Vision insurance

coverage

Employee

-each of you may be

enrolled for Self-Only or

-one may be enrolled for

Self & Family with the

other person enrolled as a

dependent.

Retiree

-enroll for Self & Family

since vision insurance does

not continue into

retirement

FDIC Basic Life Insurance

Employee

-not eligible to enroll in

FDIC Option 2,

Spouse/Domestic Life

Insurance

Retiree

Resources for writing

CDC’s Simply Put plain language guide

NIH plain language training on the web

Plainlanguage.gov

Federal plain language guidelines

Center for Plain Language

Writing Web Content that Works, by Janice (Ginny)

Redish

What should I do next?

Practice

Practice

Practice

Visit www.plainlanguage.gov for more resources

Contact your Associate Director for Communication or your Health Literacy Council representative