Twelve Valuable Steps to Raise Twelve Valuable Steps to Raise Your Self EsteemYour Self Esteem

OverviewOverview

As adults, we can choose the messages we accept or reject. As adults, we can choose the messages we accept or reject. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." inferior without your permission."

Building high self-esteem is a process, not something you can Building high self-esteem is a process, not something you can develop overnight," says Jeffrey Keller. "Yet, I believe every develop overnight," says Jeffrey Keller. "Yet, I believe every person has the capacity of high self-esteem.person has the capacity of high self-esteem.

The question is, are you ready to The question is, are you ready to make a commitment to increase make a commitment to increase

your self-esteem?your self-esteem?""

If your answer is If your answer is yesyes, here are 12 , here are 12 steps to get you started:steps to get you started:

1. Stop comparing yourself with 1. Stop comparing yourself with other people.other people.

Stop comparing yourself with other Stop comparing yourself with other people.people. There will always be some There will always be some people who have more than you and people who have more than you and some who have less. If you play the some who have less. If you play the comparison game, you'll run into too comparison game, you'll run into too many "opponents" you can't defeat.many "opponents" you can't defeat.

2. Stop putting yourself down.2. Stop putting yourself down.

Stop putting yourself down. You can't Stop putting yourself down. You can't develop high self-esteem if you develop high self-esteem if you repeat negative phrases about repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities. Whether yourself and your abilities. Whether speaking about your appearances, speaking about your appearances, your career, your relationships, your your career, your relationships, your financial situation, or any other financial situation, or any other aspects of your life, avoid self-aspects of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments.deprecating comments.

3. Accept all compliments with 3. Accept all compliments with "thank you.""thank you."

Accept all compliments with "thank Accept all compliments with "thank you." Ever received a compliment and you." Ever received a compliment and replied," Oh, it was nothing." When replied," Oh, it was nothing." When you reject a compliment, the message you reject a compliment, the message you give yourself is that you are not you give yourself is that you are not worthy of praise. Respond to all worthy of praise. Respond to all compliments with a simple Thank compliments with a simple Thank You."You."

4. Use affirmations to enhance 4. Use affirmations to enhance your self-esteem.your self-esteem.

Use affirmations to enhance your self-Use affirmations to enhance your self-esteem. On the back of a business card or esteem. On the back of a business card or small index card, write out a statement small index card, write out a statement such as "I like and accept my self." or "I such as "I like and accept my self." or "I am valuable, lovable person and deserve am valuable, lovable person and deserve the best in life." Carry the card with you. the best in life." Carry the card with you. Repeat the statement several times Repeat the statement several times during the day, especially at night before during the day, especially at night before going to bed and after getting up in the going to bed and after getting up in the morning. Whenever you say the morning. Whenever you say the affirmation, allow yourself to experience affirmation, allow yourself to experience positive feelings about your statement.positive feelings about your statement.

5. 5. Take advantage of workshops, Take advantage of workshops, books and cassette tape programs books and cassette tape programs

on self-esteem.on self-esteem. Take advantage of workshops, books Take advantage of workshops, books

and cassette tape programs on self-and cassette tape programs on self-esteem. Whatever material you allow esteem. Whatever material you allow to dominate mind will eventually take to dominate mind will eventually take root and affect your behavior. If you root and affect your behavior. If you watch negative television programs watch negative television programs or read newspaper reports of murders or read newspaper reports of murders and business rip off; you will grow and business rip off; you will grow cynical and pessimistic. Similarly, if cynical and pessimistic. Similarly, if you read books or listen to programs, you read books or listen to programs, that are positive in nature, you will that are positive in nature, you will take on these characteristics.take on these characteristics.

6. Associate with positive, 6. Associate with positive, supportive people.supportive people.

Associate with positive, supportive Associate with positive, supportive people. When you are surrounded by people. When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put negative people who constantly put you and your ideas down, your self-you and your ideas down, your self-esteem is lowered. On the other esteem is lowered. On the other hand, when you are accepted and hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better about encouraged, you feel better about yourself in the best possible yourself in the best possible environment to raise your self-environment to raise your self-esteem.esteem.

7. Make a list of your past 7. Make a list of your past successes.successes.

Make a list of your past successes. This Make a list of your past successes. This doesn't necessarily have to consist of doesn't necessarily have to consist of monumental accomplishments. It can monumental accomplishments. It can include your "minor victories," like learning include your "minor victories," like learning to skate, graduating from high school, to skate, graduating from high school, receiving an award or promotion, reaching a receiving an award or promotion, reaching a business goal, etc. Read this list often. business goal, etc. Read this list often. While reviewing it, close your eyes and While reviewing it, close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy you experienced when you first attained you experienced when you first attained each success.each success.

8. 8. Make a list of your positive Make a list of your positive qualities.qualities.

Make a list of your positive qualities. Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you honest? Unselfish? Helpful? Are you honest? Unselfish? Helpful? Creative? Be generous with yourself and Creative? Be generous with yourself and write down at least 20 positive write down at least 20 positive qualities. Again, it's important to review qualities. Again, it's important to review this list often. Most people dwell on this list often. Most people dwell on their inadequacies and then wonder their inadequacies and then wonder why their life isn't working out. Start why their life isn't working out. Start focusing on your positive traits and focusing on your positive traits and you'll stand a much better chance of you'll stand a much better chance of achieving what you wish to achieve.achieving what you wish to achieve.

9. Start giving more. I'm not 9. Start giving more. I'm not talking about money.talking about money.

Start giving more. I'm not talking Start giving more. I'm not talking about money. Rather, I mean that you about money. Rather, I mean that you must begin to give more of yourself must begin to give more of yourself to those around your. When you do to those around your. When you do things for others, you are making a things for others, you are making a positive contribution and you begin to positive contribution and you begin to feel more valuable, which, in turn, feel more valuable, which, in turn, lifts your spirits and raises your own lifts your spirits and raises your own self-esteem.self-esteem.

10. Get involved in work and 10. Get involved in work and activities you love.activities you love.

Get involved in work and activities you Get involved in work and activities you love. It's hard to feel good about yourself love. It's hard to feel good about yourself if your days are spent in work you despise. if your days are spent in work you despise. Self-esteem flourishes when you are Self-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work and activities that you engaged in work and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valuable. Even if enjoy and make you feel valuable. Even if you can't explore alternative career you can't explore alternative career options at the present time, you can still options at the present time, you can still devote leisure time to hobbies and devote leisure time to hobbies and activities, which you find stimulating and activities, which you find stimulating and enjoyable.enjoyable.

11. Be true to yourself. Live your 11. Be true to yourself. Live your own lifeown life..

Be true to yourself. Live your own life - Be true to yourself. Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best not the life others have decided is best for you. You'll never gain your own for you. You'll never gain your own respect and feel good about yourself if respect and feel good about yourself if you aren't leading the life you want to you aren't leading the life you want to lead. If you're making decisions based lead. If you're making decisions based on getting approval from friends and on getting approval from friends and relatives, you aren't being true to relatives, you aren't being true to yourself and your self-esteem is yourself and your self-esteem is lowered.lowered.

12. Take action!12. Take action!

Take action! You won't develop high self-Take action! You won't develop high self-esteem if you sit on the sidelines and back esteem if you sit on the sidelines and back away from challenges. When you take away from challenges. When you take action - regardless of the ensuing result - action - regardless of the ensuing result - you feel better about yourself. When you you feel better about yourself. When you fail to move forward because of fear and fail to move forward because of fear and anxiety, you'll be frustrated and unhappy - anxiety, you'll be frustrated and unhappy - and you will undoubtedly deal a damaging and you will undoubtedly deal a damaging blow to your self-esteem.blow to your self-esteem.