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WALKING THIS VALLEY- Tucson Chapter Vol. 37 No. 2 March-April 2019

Upcoming Events:

Spring

Event

Ice Cream

Social, Saturday,

April 6, 2-4pm.

Join us to build

an ice cream

sundae and to

build

relationships as

we share

memories of our

children with

each other.

Tucson Chapter

P.O. Box 30733

Tucson, AZ 85751-0733

(520) 721-8042

www.tucsontcf.org

National Headquarters

P.O. Box 3696

Oak Brook, IL 60522

Toll free (877) 969-0010

www.compassionatefriends.org

We’re sorry for the reason you’re here, but we’re glad you’ve found us. –Tucson TCF

Tucson Chapter Meetings: CHRIST CHURCH UNITED METHODIST 655 N. CRAYCROFT

Second and Fourth Wednesdays 7:00pm-9:00pm

March 13, 27 April 10, 24 May 8, 22 June 12, 26

Welcome! All bereaved parents, grandparents, and adult siblings are welcome at our support group meetings. Here

you will find comfort, caring people, and most of all-HOPE. Coming to the first meeting is hard, but you have nothing to lose and much to gain. For many it is the first real step toward healing. Although it may seem

overwhelming, we encourage you to come to several meetings to give yourself a chance to become comfortable. The hope of The Compassionate Friends is that those who need us would find us and that

those that find us would be helped. TCF also provides information to help members be supportive to each

other. We are not professional counselors. We are bereaved families who want to help each other.

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Steering Committee Meeting: We meet to discuss upcoming events

and community outreach as well as fundraising. Our next meeting is 6

pm 5/29 Wednesday all are welcome. We thank the Viscount Suite for

graciously providing us with a meeting room.

2019 National Conference:

The 42nd TCF National Conference will be in held in Philadelphia, on

July 19-21, 2019. “Hope Rings in Philadelphia” is the theme of this year’s

event, which promises more of last year’s great National Conference

experience. Updates will be posted on the national website as well as on

the TCF/USA Facebook Page and elsewhere as they become available.

Plan to come and be a part of this heartwarming experience.

(Email from coordinators of Boutique at 2019 conference) Help Needed: Butterfly Boutique For those of you not familiar with the Butterfly Boutique, it is a quaint shop that is

completely put together by volunteers and sells donations provided by members and sometimes businesses. The purpose is to raise funds to further our national mission of helping parents, grandparents, and siblings who have lost a child at any age from any cause.

To have a successful Butterfly Boutique, we need your help to ask for donations of items to sell. We would like to have new and gently used pre-owned items. We are looking for items that have angels, butterflies, hearts, hummingbirds, dragonflies or any other appropriate subject matter. It could be jewelry (pins, earrings, rings, necklaces, ankle bracelets, etc.) or jewelry box. It could include a scarf or a tote bag. Our members love to purchase candles or coasters, a Christmas ornament or decoration, even kitchen or bath towels (new of course). Other popular items have included framed pictures, artwork, or handmade items. Especially popular have been Seraphim angels or Susan Lordi Willow Tree items. We love those who think creatively and find items with butterflies and hearts on things like a chair or lamp, a night light or magnet, note paper, a pen, a wallet, a watch or maybe something you may have purchased at the national conference and never used.

Not every item must have a symbolic heart or butterfly on it. The boutique becomes a sort of gathering place of bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings. Any item donated is greatly appreciated! Let's also not forget that men also love to browse the boutique as well!

TCF is a 501(c)(3) tax exempt organization. We will also be happy to provide a donation receipt, describing the items anyone has donated. We, of course, leave the value of the item donated to be established by the donor. Please let Betty or Pam know if you’d like a donation receipt.

We look forward to receiving lots of different items from across the country! Collected items should be sent to me (see address below).

Don't hesitate to give us a call if you have any questions. Thanks for your support! Sincerely, Betty and Pam Betty Valentine, 302 Llangollen Blvd. New Castle, DE 19720 302-328-5727 (Cell 302-602-1121; bettyboop19720@gmail.com) Pam Bennett-Santoro,10 Harwich Road, Morristown, NJ 07960 (Cell - 201-602-3952; Home - 973-539-9255; Jpmp010@aol.com)

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March Birthdays

KRISTIN BAILEY OSWALDO BAKER MITCHELL BARRINGAR

PATRICK BENSON RENEE BLANCHARD CHRISTOPHER BREY

PAUL BRUMBAUGH STEVEN BURR WENDY CARBONEL

EVAN JACOB CUETO PHILIP GANOTE LAURA GORMAN

KALYN MARIE GREGG RICK CASEJALUR MELISSA HEYMERS

KYLE HOLBROOK REESE HOTTEN MELISSA LOPEZ

RYAN MCCRAY MICHEAL MCDANIEL BRYAN MCLAUGHLIN

GARETH OWEN STACY PESSIN CASIMIRO MARTIN PALAFOX

JARED PATRICK GRANT J. PIONTEK HEATHER RAMIREZ

JESUS RENE ANTHONY SIGAL ROSALINA ISABELLA SAENZ

KRISTA ANN VALDEZ CHADWICK "CHAD" SPALDING

ANTHONY JOEL WELLS BRADLEY CHARLES MAPLES

RICKY M. GRIJALVA JR. ALEXANDER "PEANUT" LUPER

DANIELLE MARIT-KALLA

March Remembrance Days

KRYSTAL ARNOLD MARTHA BATES CHRISTOPHER BAYZE

RICHARD BLAU DEVANTE CARRANZA KENNETH CHESTER

THOMAS CLARK JASMINE COOMBS AUDIANNA MARIE COTA

EVAN JACOB CUETO ANGELA DILLON EMILIA F DOYLE

KATIE EDMONDS WESTON FOARD JIMMIE GANIS

TESSA LEIGH GRIGGS SHAY EMMA HAMMER DANIEL HART

KYLE HENSON DANIEL GENE HILL CHERIE HILL

ROBERT HORSTMAN ANDREW INGARGIOLA NICOLE LAJALLEE

CHRIS MAIER MICHEAL MCDANIEL ZACH MORGAN

JOSHUA MOSS HEATHER RAMIREZ MARINA ESTRELLA PALOMO

ANTHONY SIGAL MARLA THYE PAIGE JAYDEN STOUT

DANIEL TATTRIE LUIS JAMES TIFFANY KRISTA ANN VALDEZ

HOLLY VICKERS GENE WATKINS MORGAN WISE

CHANCE MORGAN ALLISON ALEXANDER "PEANUT" LUPER

MATTHIAS EDWIN ENLOW ANNA CECELIA GAXIOLA

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Online Support information is available on the National Compassionate Friends Website at www.compassionatefriends.org. There are over 26 private Facebook groups available for parents, grandparents, and siblings.

To My Husband Your tears flow within your heart,

Mine flow down my cheeks. Your anger lies with thoughts and movements.

Mine gallops forward for all to see. Your despair shows in your now dull eyes.

Mine shows in line after written line. You grieve over the death of your son,

I grieve over the death of my baby. But we're still the same, still one, Only we grieve at different times,

Over different memories, and at different lengths.

Yet we both realize the death of our child. Pam Burden

TCF, Augusta, GA

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(One benefit from National) Remembrance Cards

In order to receive remembrance cards during your loved ones birthday month and

the death anniversary month, you must individually sign-up, with your complete

information, for the memorial book located on our website found under the “Find

Support” tab after clicking on “To The Newly Bereaved”

(https://www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/to-the-newly-bereaved/).

The national office does not have the resources available to complete this for

the chapters.

I Will Cry With You

I will listen closely ~ hold your hand or just

sit with you ~ as long as it brings comfort - I will be near ~ I will be silent ~ I WILL CRY WITH

YOU ~ I will silently pray for you ~ I will quietly listen as you share your unspoken thoughts ~ I

will not fill the space with questions, words of wisdom, well intentioned resolutions, or small

conversations ~ there are no words for missing ~ the heart kisses the thoughts and dare to

remember happier moments ~ in time, tender memories will guide us through difficult seasons -

occasions ~ in time, tender memories will be flowers a bloom in spring, a summer sun set at

dusk, the crisp leaves of fall, the first snow of winter ~ But for now, I WILL CRY WITH YOU ~ I

will not tell you how to feel, how to be ~ I will not tell you stories of others who have lost ~ I will

honor your moment ~ I will honor your loss ~ Please share your tears with me ~ I will not hush

them away, turn away, emotionally walk away ~ I will be near ~ I will hear your heart ~ I will hear

your unspoken words ~ I will not offer answers, but I will offer love ~ I will help you ~ I will hope

for tender moments, But for now---I WILL CRY WITH YOU

Pamela Hagens

TCF Nashville Chapter, TN

Copyright 8/5/2015

Unless expressly stated, the views expressed in articles, poetry, etc. in Walking This Valley are

not necessarily the views of The Compassionate Friends, The Chapter Steering Committee or

the Editorial Team. The Editor reserves the right to edit any contributions.

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APRIL BIRTHDAYS

KRYSTAL ARNOLD BEN ARRELLIN MARTHA BATES

PHILLIP BECKER ALLIE BURCH ASHLEY CALLAHAN

JOHN CARSTENS MEADOW CENTER ROBERT GLEN CREWS

LEAH GOODMAN RICK HAMILTON TRAVIS HEGERLE

WILEY HERREN DELLVON WATSON GAVIN LEE WEBB

TONY WINFIELD CHERIE HILL JAY JOHNSON

DEVIN KAMBER RYAN KNOTT CHARLES JOSEPH KEEN

DAMIEN MELZER DANIEL MERENS CHRISTOPHER LAWSON

SCOTT MILLER SCOTT NEVINS MELISSA QUINN MADONNA

MICHAEL PENA KASEY PIKE JEREMY BRYANT PATRICK

JOE ROMMEL JONATHAN ROSS LUNA SAYURI ROMERO

SUSANN SALMON JAMES SELBY ARIELLE IRENE RUBEN

JAMES THELEN WILLIAM TIDWELL LUKE RUTHERFORD

TINA VALENZUELA PAUL THOMPSON MATTHEW TESCHNER

STACY ANN HEMESATH MARCOS RENE TORRES

EMILY KATELYN ARRIAYA TORRES JULIE ANN VONDERSAAR

APRIL REMEMBRANCE DAYS

W. JARED BLAIR NINA BODEN AARON THOMAS ATHERTON

STEVEN BURR JOE CRAWFORD NANCY BATES DIETZ

SUSAN M. BIEGER MARK BRIDGEMAN JAMES K. BROWN JR.

GORDON BRYAN RACHAEL EDWARDS EBERT S.R. EISSENSTAT

JULEE FRASER MARISA GALLEGO D. FRANCES ENRIQUEZ

FRANK GARCIA ANGELINA KNOX NANCY KONERTH

GAGE LA FONTAINE RICHIE LOPEZ DANIELLE MARIT-KALLA

BRIDGET MEMBRILA PANCHITO MEZA AARON MILLER

ZACHARY ORMAN LOGAN PALMER LIEM MICHAEL O'ROURKE

STACY PESSIN KYLE PETTEYS MICHAEL JOHN PADILLA

STEVEN A SCANNELL DREDAN SEGUNDO CHRISTOPHER PALACIO

BEN-DAVID PFLUG JOSEPH SHIELDS AARON JAMES "AJ" RACHUY

GAVIN LEE WEBB DAVID THORSON GREGORY RAMIREZ JR.

BRYSE VASQUEZ PETER VELAZQUEZ EMILY RACHEL SILVERSTEIN

RAMES VALENZUELA ALEXANDER WHEATLEY

SAVANNAH GRACE WATSON

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DEBBIE AND DIANE AT JIM CLICK

RAFFLE KICK OFF

Fundraising: The Tucson Chapter of the Compassionate Friends

earned $2150 from the Jim Click Raffle in 2018. This is our largest

fundraiser and although we did not sell any of the three winning

tickets we truly appreciate all those who purchased tickets to help

fund our efforts in supporting those who have lost a child,

grandchild, or sibling.

We are participating again this year. First place is a 2019 Jeep

Grand Cherokee Summit, Second place is two round trip airline

tickets anywhere in the world, Third place is $5000!

Tickets are $25 each or 5 for $100. All funds raised stay with

our organization. Please purchase your tickets early and often!

We are due to sell a winner!

Thanks also to all who either put money in the jar at meetings or

give through their employer (ECAP).

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CRISIS HOTLINE INFORMATION

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

Suicide Hotline

1-800-Suicide

Depression & Crisis Hotline 1-800-784-2433

The National Institute for Trauma & Loss in Children (TLC)

1-877-306-5256

Families Anonymous

(Addiction/Recovery)

1-800-736-9805

Al-Anon Family Groups (Addiction/Recovery)

1-888-425-2666

Post-Partum Depression

1-800-944-4773

OTHER TUCSON SUPPORT

GROUPS

Information & Referral

Services…..800-352-3792

Homicide Survivors, Inc…..520-

740-5729

FOOTPRINTS-

Pregnancy and Infant

loss….520-873-6590

Tu Nidito/Children to

Children…..520-322-9155

Alive Alone

http://www.alivealone.org/ -for

parent(s) who have lost their

only child

MISS FOUNDATION

http://www.missfoundation.org/

Survivors of Suicide……. 520-

989-0467

Chapter Steering Committee

Leader: Sharon Farrell Co Leader: Tara Chico/Donna Ruboyianes

Editor: Diane Allison Contributing Editors: All members- contributions wanted!

Outreach/ Correspondence: Estella Salazar

Facebook: Melissa Chico, Cat Morrow

Website: Julie Shulick

New Attendee Coordinator: Cat Morrow

Library: Debbie Russell

Treasurer: Cindy Walter

Facilitators: Cindy Walter, Melissa Chico, Tara Chico, Carolyn Manka, Kim Teschner

Regional Coordinators: Barb & Gene Caligari, Chandler, AZ; Denise Dean

Photo buttons are now made at meetings. Bring your child’s photo printed on plain paper (button is 3.5” round) and ask anyone with a ribbon on their nametag for assistance.

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Siblings… I Felt I Was Healed

I felt I was healed, felt I was ok Ten years had passed to make me this way.

Worked with others who were feeling the pain So tears and the heartache would soon go away.

I make the newsletter and work on the slides That we watch as we remember the better times.

But life has a way of throwing a curve That rocks to the core and shatters the nerves.

My brother has died and though he was ill A hole has re-opened once again I must fill.

I know all the steps that take me through grief Of the traps to watch out for, oh what a relief.

Though same it is different, the hurt is still there I miss my little brother and wish he were here.

Stew Levett

TCF Pikes Peak Chapter

Playing in the Shadows

We grew up together, Big sister, little brother.

I took care of you Until you were old enough to care for yourself.

Though you didn’t say it, I knew you loved me.

We played in the sunlight, you and I; Remember the games of “Mother-May-I” and “Hide-and-Seek”?

Sure we had our fights As all siblings do,

But through it all we never lost Our love for each other.

Now you’re gone. I’ll never see you again except in the memories

of those sunny days. You will forever be sixteen--

Far too young to die. You had your whole life to live.

I’ll always grieve, but I must go on. Still, without you,

I play alone in the shadows.

Cheryl Larson TCF Pikes Peak, CO

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A National self-help, non-profit organization for families who have

experienced the death of a child

THE TUCSON CHAPTER

P.O. 30733

Tucson, AZ 85751-0733

Return Service Requested

March-April 2019

Non-Profit Org.

U.S. Postage

Paid

Tucson, AZ

Permit No. 2296

Contact: hotline (520) 721-8042 or visit our website at www.tucsontcf.org