TRYING TO BE SUPERMUM?Most mothers sacrifice their health and wellbeing in an attempt to be the Perfect Mother for their child. However, what mums often don’t consider is how their ill health and unhappiness directly impacts on the health and wellbeing of their child. When mothers are confident, healthy and happy, they become more patient, calm and rational parents and this has a significant impact on the health and wellbeing of their child.

Help For Mums

Helping Professional New Mums Feel Successful in All Areas of Life

PO BOX 317Prahran VIC 3181(03) 9533-9985 info@helpformums.comwww.helpformums.com

Help For Mums

THE PROFESSIONAL MUMS GUIDE TO BEING A ‘REAL’ SUPERMUM

“Lizzie offers calm and logical methods which truly helped me move forward in my struggles adjusting from a high end corporate job to 24/7 motherhood, with the practical tools to maintain a stronger, more positive self belief in myself as a wonderful parent”

Carly May, Melbourne Mum

FOUNDER OF HELP FOR MUMSLizzie O’Halloran founded Help For Mums to support busy professional new mums to cope with the transition from being a busy independent and successful professional to balancing a career with the demands of motherhood.

Lizzie is the Author of ‘Perfect Mum’ and ‘Refresh Your Life’. She is a personal and professional development coach, presenter, mother of two.

Lizzie incorporates a whole mind/body approach to wellbeing. Her passion for health and fitness led to representing Australia in Miss Fitness Titles for the International Natural Body-building Association and to being the Health Expert on 3AW Melbourne Radio.

WE REVITALISE PROFESSIONAL NEW MUMS

IT’s A COMMON MISCONCEPTION THAT MARTYRS MAKE THE BEST MOTHERS All mothers want the best for their child, but like most professional mothers it’s easy to fall short of ones ideal of motherhood, because most mothers take the ‘supermum’ approach to motherhood without factoring in the pitfalls along the way. Being a great mum means ensuring a mother’s wellbeing, does not interfere with her parenting goals. For instance, exhaustion interfering with work performance, ability to think clearly, ability to remain calm under pressure both personally and professionally, or ability to fight off illness. However, as the graph below clearly demonstrates, most Australian mothers are seriously damaging their health in an attempt to live up to the ideal of the Supermum. Unfortunately there is a huge price to pay for this parenting goal, such as feelings of failure, guilt, overwhelm, reduced self confidence and bouts of depression. Furthermore, this price often has a huge significant impact on a mothers relationships with herself, her colleagues, her clients, her child, her friends and her family.

Galaxy Research of 1000 Australian Mums

ABOUT HELP FOR MUMS IN SEARCH OF THE SUPERMUM

OUR EXPERTISE SETS US APART

WHAT WE DOMAKE HEALTHY LIVING ACHIEVEABLE

FOSTER LONG LASTING CHANGE

RESOLVE INNER CONFLICT

EMPOWER SELF CONFIDENCE

STRENGTHEN RELATIONSHIPS

CLEAR THE MENTAL CHATTER

RESTORE LIFE BALANCE

REDUCE ANXIETY & GUILT

90% 90%83%

72% 68%

RISK HEALTH TRYING TO BE SUPERMUM

FELT JUDGED WHEN DIDN'T LOOK THEIR

BEST

FELT JUDGED WHEN CHILD MISBEHAVED

IN PUBLIC

FELT BAD RETURNING TO WORK TOO QUICKLY AFTER

CHILDBIRTH

FELT BAD ABOUT HAVING 'ME TIME'

AWAY FROM CHILD

Galaxy Research, June 2016

“I feel so much closer to my partner now that we have a better understanding of our communication styles and what we both need in order to feel loved and supported”

Annie, D, Melbourne Professional New Mum

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1. Parental pressure to ‘get it right’There has never been more pressure on mothers to get parenting right. From the moment a baby is born a new mother will begin to experience external pressure (for instance about whether or not she should breastfeed, how she should get her baby to sleep, how much time she should devote for herself now she’s a mother and when is the right time to return to work). New mothers are not prepared for this and often suffer in silence ‘faking’ their way through motherhood, so as not to appear as failures.

2. Social perceptions of the ‘good mum’Now with social media so accessible, new mothers are exposed to digitally enhanced images and videos which give the false impression of how well some famous mothers are coping. Famous mothers such as Gweneth Paltrow, Nicole Kidman and Gisele Caroline Bündchen always appear to look bright, healthy and beautiful, however ‘real’ mothers are not shown when they are exhausted, overworked, stressed or sick. Nor are they exposed to the amount of support they receive in order to appear so calm, composed and relaxed, thus leaving ‘real mothers’ to feel like failures in comparison.

3. Misconceptions of ‘real’ motherhoodProfessional mothers are often not prepared for motherhood. Being organised and successful in their careers, they often assume they will be able to translate workplace control, predictability and productivity into parenthood, but reality is often disappointing in this regard. According to research conducted by psychologist, Dr Bronwyn Harman in which she interviewed thousands of women about motherhood, overwhelmingly mother’s expectations of motherhood where completely different to their reality. This gap can cause ongoing anxiety, guilt and depression as mothers try to adjust to a new role that is unpredictable, exhausting at times and often lonely.

COMMON MISTAKES In an effort to cope with external pressure, to live up to unrealistic expectations and adjust to their new role, professional mothers often cause detrimental damage to their health and wellbeing by making these three common mistakes.

In an effort to try to be the perfect mother to her child, the professional new mother often loses her confidence and begins to doubt her day to day decisions, which are often based on the opinions of other experts, friends, colleagues or mothers. Trying to reach perfection also often results in increased disappointment and feelings of failure when things don’t go according to plan. Thus, the disire to be perfect results in significant stress.

Professional new mothers often report feeling guilty spending time away from their child even to exercise. They prioritise their child above themselves and in the processes often neglect their own health and happiness needs. This neglect of self can have a detrimental effect on both mother and baby as she loses her identity, role models unhealthy behaviours and increases her risk of becoming sick and experiencing job burnout or job disatisfaction.

Without clear direction, life planning skills and feeling overwhelmed, professional new mothers often report living very disorganised lives. As a result they are prone to forgetfulness, double booking themselves, financial disarray and procrastination when life becomes too overwhelming. In order to operate their lives more efficiently professional new mothers need structure that is easy to follow and provides clear guidance for them to succeed in all aspects of life.

WHY ARE MUMS RISKING THEIR HEALTH? PROFESSIONAL MUMS TRY TO ‘DO IT ALL’

5

COMMON PATTERNS OFBUSY PROFESSIONAL MUMS

TRYING TO BE PERFECT NEGLECTING SELF LIVING DISORGANISED

“Career women are hit hardest by the reality of motherhood, which rarely matches up with their pre-conceived notions. The more high powered their careers are the more intense this seems to be,”

Marriner, C (2016). Motherhood “I thought I could cope with anything” The Sydney Morning Herald

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IGNORING WELLBEING LEADS FAILUREMost mothers sacrifice their health and wellbeing in an attempt to be the Perfect Mother for their child. However, what mums often don’t consider is how their ill health and unhappiness directly impacts on the health and wellbeing of their lives and on that of their child. The drive to be supermum leads to high levels of stress and thus make it difficult to perform at their best when they return to work after maternity leave.

When professional mothers neglect their wellbeing, it’s very difficult to think clearly, prioritise important finances, social events and day to day tasks. When mothers are tired and emotional, they can begin to doubt their success as a parent and subsequently avoid potential circumstances where they may be criticised (personally and professionally).

Without the skills to learn how to cope with the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood, mothers can find themselves snapping at their child and then feeling guilty afterwards, giving in the ‘pester power’, avoiding intimacy with their partners, declining professional career advancement opportunities and increasing debt to ensure they keep up with expectations of peers within their social network.

PRIORITISINGWELLBEING LEADS TO SUCCESS

Successful parenting comes from feeling self-confident about oneself as a parent and as an individual. It comes from a centred place where mothers can make rational decisions that best suit them and the needs of their family.

Prioritising wellbeing leads to a sense of comfort in their parenting choices that are not influenced by trying to please others, or to keep up with the latest parenting trend. She is able to return to work with ease and be highly productive with a clear and focussed mindset, that is not distracted by exhaustion, guilt, or worry.

A successful professional mother is able to look after her needs without neglecting the needs of her family. She role models healthy self esteem and self confidence, so it comes more easily to her children and she is able to advance her career without guilt, as she knows both she and her child are safe, secure, healthy and happy. She parents in a calm, confident, rational manner and this has a positive long term impact on her relationship with her child, partner, family, colleagues and friends.

IMPACT OF IGNORING WELLBEING IMPACT OF PRIORITISING WELLBEING

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STEP 1 - Getting SpecificThe first step is getting to the heart of a mother’s individual needs. Finding her triggers, what’s been holding her back from achieving success and feeling successful, builds the foundation for wellbeing and achievement.

STEP 2 - Getting UpbeatIn step 2 mothers take part in our Happiness Workshop and will also begin our 6 week online self esteem program. This step is designed to build core self confidence, self belief and resilience so that mothers can live their personal and professional lives with greater ease and enjoyment.

STEP 3 - Getting Connected The third step involves attending our Relationship Workshop which will guide mothers to discover the heart of personal relationship issues, teach mothers how to enhance communication and how to boost intimacy and coach others in how to use the Myers-Briggs test results to build stronger and closer relationships.

STEP 4 - Getting CalmIn step 4 mothers will be treated to a relaxation spa treatment before beginning our Youthful Workshop. During this workshop they will be guided through practical stress reduction techniques that will give them the resilience they need to maintain a balanced, fun, productive and efficient lifestyle.

STEP 5 - Getting EnergisedIn Step 5 mothers will begin the Refresh Your Life 30 day healthy living program, designed to boost motivation to be healthy and to link feeling good with getting into shape. Mothers will also receive a 6 month subscription to our Healthy/Happy Living online recipe centre and will attend our Potent Workshop to become empowered in sustainable healthy living strategies.

STEP 6 - Getting SystematisedStep 6 is designed to get mums organised. In this step mothers will attend our Punctual Workshop and discover the best ways to break bad habits, develop easy and sustainable plans and learn the most effective time management skills to boost productivity and reduce procrastination.

OUR 6 STEP METHOD TO SUCCESS HOW OUR METHOD WORKS

WHO’S THIS FOR?For professional first time mums who would like to address deeper concerns and patterns that have been holding them back personally and professionally (e.g. issues in relationships, self-doubt and/or lack of confidence).

TIMINGThis program runs for 6 months.

THE ESSENCE OF THE ‘REAL SUPERMUM’ PROGRAM

◉ A copy of the ‘Perfect Mum’ - new mum’s survival kit.

◉ Twelve personalised coaching sessions tailored to meet personal needs: 1 session prior to returning to work, 10 sessions after returning to work and a bonus follow up session.

◉ Tickets to all 5 full day Workshops

◉ The Refresh Your Life 30 day healthy living program

◉ The Happy Life Online Self-esteem course

◉ A comprehensive Myers-Briggs personality and relationship compatibility report

◉ Six months exclusive membership to the Healthy/Happy Living online recipe centre

◉ Six months free membership to our ‘Real Supermum’ Online Community

◉ 1 hour personalized spa treatment voucher

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HOW OUR CLIENTS ARE SUCCEEDING HOW OUR CLIENTS ARE SUCCEEDING

Stacey is a busy mum who was emotionally eating and having trouble feeding her daughter healthy foods. After returning to work, it was often easier to feed them both the quickest and most convenient meal, which was often high in sugar or salt.

Stacey decided to commence the Refresh Your Life program after being recommended by a friend. She wanted to lose weight and gain healthy eating habits, but was very sceptical about starting yet another weight loss program. After the first week, Stacey was amazed at how easy it was to follow and was even more shocked at the impact eating healthier foods was having on her daughter’s eating habits too. By following the Refresh Your Life program, Stacey has completely changed her lifestyle. She now knows which foods boost her energy and moods and she can feed her daughter healthy foods that she loves and actually taste delicious too.

Sarah was a high level career executive who was used to doing everything herself. When she became a mum, she was convinced that she could control every aspect of parenting, like she could her job.

When she began personalised counselling, she was worried about how she was going to be able to make a change in her life without feeling as though she had lost control.

With a strategic plan and guidance, Sarah learned to distinguish between what she could and could not control and began to feel more empowered and relaxed with the correct tools to cope when things did not go 100% to plan.

Now she has gone from feeling depressed and scared to leave the house - to taking control of her son’s sleep routine and scheduling time for both her and her son to have fun away from the home. She feels comfortable playing with him, without constantly worrying about this impacting on his sleep routine. She is also feeling more relaxed about going back to work, knowing that she is doing her best for her child.

Sarah’s Story

Image courtesy of franky242, freedigitalphotos.net

Stacey’s Story

Libby was a single mum with her own business who had little support from her x-partner. She often felt overwhelmed and upset about not having time to play with her daughter. When at work she felt guilty about not playing with her daughter and when she was with her daughter she felt stressed about not working, so she never felt satisfied? She felt disorganized and couldn’t see how she could maintain a healthy and happy balance between her personal and professional life. Stacey first addressed her reduced self confidence by completing the online course. Then together, we devised a weekly schedule with all the tasks she had in her mind and set aside time each day to play with her daughter and attend to work, household, social, financial and school related tasks. A plan that she felt was achievable It’s now been 4 years. Now Libby no longer feels guilty, has so much more time on her hands to do all the things she was missing out on and her business is thriving. To this day she still uses this schedule to keep her on track.

Marnie was a professional mum who worked full-time as a consultant. She often felt stressed about leaving her work on time and had little time or energy for her son after such long days at work.Marnie was always stressed about losing her job and was beginning to resent working altogether. She was worried about making any waves at work because she needed the money and didn’t see how she was going to be able to sustain her career and be a good mother at the same time. In addition her stressful job was starting to impact on her relationship with her husband. Through our career program Marnie discovered her true calling. She could see exactly where her time was being wasted at work and what was exhausting her the most. She negotiated with her boss to take on tasks that were of a higher responsibility, but which utilized her strengths and left her feeling happier and more energized at the end of the day. The tools she learnt also helped her to communicate in a much healthier way with her partner and as a family they came up with a plan to spend more quality time together having fun. Now, Marnie and her family are much happier. Terry no longer feels stressed and overworked and her husband and son have a happy and more fun person at home when it’s play time.

Libby’s Story

Marnie’s Story

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TRYING TO BE SUPERMUM?Most mothers sacrifice their health and wellbeing in an attempt to be the Perfect Mother for their child. However, what mums often don’t consider is how their ill health and unhappiness directly impacts on the health and wellbeing of their child. When mothers are confident, healthy and happy, they become more patient, calm and rational parents and this has a significant impact on the health and wellbeing of their child.

Help For Mums

Helping Professional New Mums Feel Successful in All Areas of Life

PO BOX 317Prahran VIC 3181(03) 9533-9985 info@helpformums.comwww.helpformums.com

Help For Mums

THE PROFESSIONAL MUMS GUIDE TO BEING A ‘REAL’ SUPERMUM

“Lizzie offers calm and logical methods which truly helped me move forward in my struggles adjusting from a high end corporate job to 24/7 motherhood, with the practical tools to maintain a stronger, more positive self belief in myself as a wonderful parent”

Carly May, Melbourne Mum