Trouble Shootin g Your Teen Issues

Trouble Shooting Your Teen Issues

i-Parent Series, Part 8Dr. Dave Currie

Parents don’t get manuals for handling the hard stuff. Learn to deal with peer pressure, dating, drinking, drugs, piercing, tattoos, eating disorders, self-abuse, rebellion, suicide and more.

A. Handling the Hard Stuff – Core Parenting Principles

1. Determine your convictions and fly by the seat of your pants. You have never been a parent of a teen before!


2. Be unified as parents. When your kids are rebelling, it puts a huge stress on your relationship. Agree on how you will handle things.


3. Get your head out of the sand. Living in denial won’t address the real problems that may be in your preteens life or within your family.


4. Post your family rules early and clearly. Don’t let them be rules of reaction but ones of wisdom. They should be able to apply to all of your children.


5. You are fighting the general push toward autonomy of all teens. Things are changing and need to. Wisdom is to know what.


6. Obnoxious behaviour is a sign of inner pain. Work to find the source of your child’s pain.


7. Rebellious behaviour is often modeled after peers or slightly older connections.


8. Balance your thoughts and concerns against what normal, healthy rebellion is.


9. Maintain a position of deep love: belonging, encouragement and support needs to be constant. Never quit believing in your teen.


10.Don’t be afraid to talk about the tough stuff. Love your kids enough to discuss not lecture on all the issues listed here and more.


11.Helping to establish your preteen’s personal security is key to their ability to overcome the temptations that exist that they’ll encounter.


12.Stay involved in their world – find neutral activities for as long as you can that they are willing to do with you or as a family.


13.Maintain as many neutral points of contact as possible. Don’t let your only interaction be over the latest incident with them.


14.What if the problem is YOU? Look in the mirror and ask your spouse what you may be doing to push them into this behaviour.


15.Correct your preteen when at your best – calm down. Don’t react. Think through your responses to their wrong behaviour. Don’t interact in anger even during the most difficult times.


16.Err on the side of grace – flexibility has its place. Be really careful of ultimatums or rash threats. Maintain the relationship.


17.Learn how to influence your teen’s negative peer friendships. Welcome them into your home. Smother them with love.


18.Lead your teen with your encouragement, not your expectations. Watch being too controlling so as not to exasperate them.


19.Pray for and seek out positive outside influences – Godly significant others who will be a great example to your preteen.


20.Surround your teen with prayer.

B. Trouble Shooting the Touch Teen Issues

1. Handling Peer Pressure.


2. Coaching through the Dating Issues.


3. Handling Drinking Issues.


4. Handling Illegal Drug Use.


5. Handling the Piercing Trend.


6. Handling the Tattoos Fad.


7. Handling Eating Disorders.


8. Handling Self Abuse.


9. Handling Rebellion.


10.Handling Suicidal Thoughts or Attempts.

Trouble Shootin g Your Teen Issues

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