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28.08.2011

CU INT WOK DAY: food flies in and sizzles away.

WS KITCHEN DAY: ROB JENKINS is frying food. He takes a long whiff of the

food and seems pleased. VICKY walks in. She compliments Rob on how nice itsmells. He tells her to go and sit down in the other room, hell bring it in when

its ready. Vicky wants to help but Rob comments food tastes better when

someone else makes it!. Rob then goes to great length explaining why this is. In

an articulated manner Rob explains

Part of the way we taste is through smell, and after a while you can become

used to a smell where you cant smell it anymore. So if youre cooking for an

hour taking in all the aromas your nose gets so used to it, it cant smell them

anymore. Then if youre the person sat at the dinner table away from the kitchen

waiting for the food, your nose isnt used to the smell. When the food arrives you

get hit with all the flavours and smells in one go. And so to you food tastes betterwhen someone else has cooked it. But for the chef like me I only get half the

experience when I finally sit down to eat it.

Vicky looks doubtful. Rob continues.

You know what they should do? They should make like a peg or something to

cover your nose when you cook. That way you dont get used to the smell and

get to fully appreciate the flavour when you sit down to eat and take it off your

nose.

Vicky laughs and asks who they are? Rob replies.

Them. The people who bring these things out. They should bring out a cooking

peg to wear on your nose. It would make millions!

Vicky asks so why dont you bring it out and make millions? Rob explains he

cant because he is already working out how to make a million with his idea for

the solar powered torch that powers itself when turned on.

Vicky laughs and concludes that Robs ideas are so funny he should do stand up

comedy. Rob thinks for moment.

Later in front of the telly they have finished dinner. His girlfriend has fallen

asleep. She farts in her sleep. Michael Macintyre is on killing at the palladium.

Rob stares at the screen.

MONTAGE COMEDY WIRTING:

- Newspaper stand outside a shop. Day. Headline: PIZZA BOY SAVES

DROWNING CHILD. Rob walks past, sees this, chuckles then writes it down

in a note pad. [Call-back. This is Robs opening joke to his act about a

Pizza Boy Superhero].

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- Rob is sat in a Pub, someone walks in wearing a horse fancy dress outfit.

Rob chuckles and writes into his note pad

- Rob sees a man crossing the road holding a bag of KFC. He looks closely at

the Bag and at the man crossing. He takes out the note pad, thinks, then

shakes his head, then puts the note pad away.

- CU Robs face singing. Pull back to reveal he is on a bus with everyone

looking at him singing with his headphones on. Rob stops, takes out his

note pad and writes. Then chuckles.

- Rob opens a can of Coke. Takes a sip and cuts his lip. He looks angry and

writes in his note pad. He then chuckles to himself.

- Rob is walking down the street and sees a man covered in blood looking in

shock holding a knife walking into the Police Station. Rob chuckles, pulls

out his note pad and writes down.

- In a pub a man walks in wearing a chicken suit

Narrow down top 3 or 4 best writing ideas and use them.

WS EXT The Lamb Pub Night:

A sign reads Gaffs and Laffs comedy night. Rob arrives and walks in to the

Pub.

It is a typical pub interior with traditional pub dcor, warm ambient lighting, and

the sounds of glasses chinking. A couple of locals are propping up the bar. SueSpelling and Kev Ballater are sat together at a table in the corner. Mitch is

adjusting a mic in another corner. The Stage is a mic stand, one P.A. amp, and

one studio light right in the face. Rob walks in, approaches the bar, and chats

with the locals. He is nervous and asks for he asks for Mitch. Mitch ambles over

and they meet. Rob introduces himself as the stand up who emailed him, and

that its his first gig. Mitch is lively positive, enthusiastic, and friendly. He has a

scrap of paper with a list of names on it, Mitch writes Rob on it. Rob orders a tap

water with ice. Mitch nods over to the other stand ups sat around a table. Rob

walks over to them.

Rob sits down and joins Kev and Sue. They disagree over the southern vs

northern pronunciation of the word Laugh. Rob is more optimistic about the gig

and more openly and honestly nervous.

Rick Hammer enters the pub with his mate Dave. Their volume is loud . Robs

table continue to talk but Rick can be heard talking with Mitch in the background.

Rick asks if he gets a free pint. Robs table continue to talk. Rick struts over. He

stands at the table not taking a seat, with his mate Dave stood behind him. He

holds his pint in square in front of him in a masculine gesture.

Rick arrogantly claims that this gig is a bit below him but is only a stepping stoneto the big time. He then says its his first gig. Kev cracks a comment humouring

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him which makes Sue laugh. Rick retreats, walks over to the Mic area, pulls up a

stool and sits down right in front of the mic.

Jim Devon walks into the pub and nods familiar hellos to Kev, Sue, and wanders

over to Mitch at the bar. Mitch writes down on his scrap piece of paper and

comes over from the bar to Robs table and tells them the line up order:

Kev compare

Sue

Rick

BREAK

Rob

Jim

Headliner Dan

A regular walks in to the pub. Very vocal and snarls with disappointment at

seeing the mic and p.a. system.

Mitch goes up to the mic. Calls out to the room to give it up for tonights

compare Kev Ballater. Kev starts to warm the room up but immediately finds

Rick, who is sat at the very front, answering back at Kev.

Rob gets a text from Vicky saying On my way. X

Kev calls up Sue. Sue starts with her usual act. She starts steady but then is

heckled by Rick. She continues on, then Rick gets up and walks across the front

of her asking out loud to Dave if he wants another pint?

Later, Sue struggles to finish her act to silence as Rick makes another Heckle.

Rob looks visibly nervous. Kev stares at Rick. Sue finishes her act managing a

slight laugh from a few regulars. Rick has caused too much disruption. During

the break Kev explains the etiquette of stand up to him, and that he is trashing

the gig. We can see Kevs advice whoosh over Ricks head.

The headliner Dan Lowe arrives. Dan chats with Rob. Rob explains his nerves.

Dan offers advice that hell be fine.

Kev gets up on to the mic and calls up Rick. Rick delivers and atrocious

performance to silence. He tries to get Dave his mate to engage in pre-written

banter. Dave sits there in silence and doesnt respond. The snarling local

heckles Rick to get off. Rick turns nasty on the heckler. Kev gets up and drags

Rick off stage and calls another break.

Rob has a choice; does he take off and run, or stay and do the gig? He decides to

flee, but then Vicky arrives. He hesitates, then takes her inside and rejoins the

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pub. Rob then has the dilemma of deserting with Vicky or staying and facing the

crowd.

Rick and Dave argue and fight outside.

Kev calls up Rob for his act. Rob is nervous that the room is dead after followingthe Hack. Rob tells his joke about a super hero Pizza Boy to a few laughs. Rob is

heckled by the heckler. Robs stress gets the better of him and he has an

outburst and lays into the heckler, abandoning his act. Rob turns and cracks a

joke about his girlfriend farting in her sleep. She is totally embarrassed. Cut to

later the entire room including the heckler are laughing at Rob as he thanks

them and finishes his act. Kev takes the mic.

Rob sits back down looks at his girlfriend and she is looks at him angry and

totally embarrassed.

End