Transitions and Problems in Family Life

Ann Landers (a well known observer of the US scene once) said marriages….

• 1 in 20 are wonderful• 5 in 20 are good. • 10 in 20 are tolerable• the remaining 4 are

“pure HELLLL!!!!” • Families can be a source of

joy but some of the reality falls far short of the idea.

Causes of Divorce• Individualism on the

rise– People spend less time

with their family– They are more into

themselves and concerned more about personal happiness than being with their family

• Romantic life often subsides– Relationships mostly fall

apart because their sexual passion fades

– Many divorce, looking for new passions or soul mates

Divorce in America• 9 out of 10 people get

married• More than 4 in 10

marriages end in divorce• 6 out of 10 of these

divorces are made by African Americans

• That is twice as high as Canada

• Four times as much as Japan

• 10 times as much as Italy* America is known to have

the highest divorce rate

More Causes of Divorce• Women are less

dependent on men– Marriage used to be for

economic bond that provided support for their partner

Now women have increased their labor force

– So now it is easier for women to support themselves

• Many of today’s marriages are stressful– Since both partners are

working, it leaves less time for family life

– Children get less attention

– Many couples divorce in their early years

Even more Reasons !• Divorce is socially

acceptable - In past decades marriage

was upheld by cultural, and religious values. – Divorce no longer carries the

powerful stigma it did a century ago

– Family, and friends are now less likely to discourage couples in conflict form divorcing

• Legally a divorce is easier to get.– In the past divorcing couples

were required to show that one or two were both guilty to adultery or physical abuse.

– Today all states allow divorce if they think marriage is a failure

– Now people think it should be harder to get a divorce

Who Divorces???• Because mothers usually secure

custody of children than fathers typically earn more income, the well being of children often depends on the fathers payment of child support.

• Also many children tend to blame themselves for their parents divorce/breakup.

• Divorce usually changes the course of the child's entire lives, causing emotional and behavioral problems and raise the risk of dropping out of school and getting into trouble either the law

• At great risk of divorce are young spouses typically who agree to marry with little money who have yet to mature emotionally.

• The chance of divorce also increase if an unexpected pregnancy comes along after marriage.

• Peoples whose parents divorced have a higher divorce rate themselves.

• Children who see parent go through divorce are more likely to consider divorce than those who have not experience this.

• Divorce is more likely to happen when both partners have successful careers because financially secure people do not feel compelled to stay in an unhappy home

Remarriage • 4 out of 5 people who divorce remarry, most

within 5 yrs.• Men who derive greater benefits from wedlock

are more likely than women to remarry.• Remarriages often creates blended families,

which is composed of children and some combination of biological parents and stepparents

• Members of blended families have to define just who is part of the children's nuclear family.

• Lastly blended families offer both young and old the opportunity to relax rigid family roles

Family VIOLENCE• The ideal family is a source of pleasure

and support.• However the disturbing reality of many

homes is family violence, that includes physical, emotional, or sexual abuse of any family member by another.

Violence Against Women• Family brutality often is

unreported to the police.• 32% of the women who are

victims of homicides are killed by spouses or more often ex-spouses.

• The death toll of family violence was 1,218 as of 1999.

• Women were seen as property of their husbands so that no man can be charged w/raping his wife.

• In the past the law considered domestic violence as a private, family matter so victims had few options

• Now days shelters have been established to provide counseling and temporary housing for women and children driven form their homes by domestic violence

Violence against women• Abusive adults misuse

power and trust to damage a child's well being.

• Childe abusers are as likely to be women as men and they conform to no simple stereotype

• Most child abusers tend to have one common trait and that is having been abused themselves as children.

Which Will It Be: Real Marriage or Marriage “Lite”?

• There was a new kind of marriage passed in 1997 called covenant marriage.

• Covenant marriage requires both parties to agree that before they ever seek a divorce, they will try marital counseling. They also agree that they will not divorce their partner unless the partner commits adultery, abandon the other for a year, assault partner or child, or sent to prison.

• Some people agree that this might bring the divorce rate down but critics say that it encourages more divorce