TransactionalAnalysis

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Transactional Analysis

Transcript of TransactionalAnalysis

Transactional Analysis

Successful Professional Salespeople . . .

Are psychologists first, being students of ‘people’, sensitive to feelings and emotions, not anxious to rush into a presentation until they know the kind of person they are dealing with.

What Does That Mean?

This morning, John said to Mary, “Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight?” Explain what John meant likely depended on how he asked the question.

Honey, Have You Seen My Car Keys?

Harry and Wilma are husband and wife. One morning, Harry is running late for work and can’t find his car keys. When he asks for Wilma’s assistance in finding them, they eventually get into an argument. Who’s fault was it?

Well It Worked the Last Time

Charlene had a very successful sales call when she called on Herman. She had ‘tons’ of information and Herman was seemingly interested in every detail, every number, every fact. When she gave the same presentation on her next stop with Paul it backfired. What went wrong and why?

Transactional Analysis

A model for explaining why and how: People think like they do People act like they do People interact/communicate with others

Based on published ‘psychological’ work such as: Games People Play (Dr. Eric Berne) I’m OK - - You’re OK (Dr. Tom Harris) Born to Win (Dr. Dorothy Jongeward)

Traditional Theory

Our Brain (according to Berne) Determines what we think and how we act Acts like a tape recorder while recording

1) Events

2) Associated feelings Has 3 distinct parts or ego states

1) Parent

2) Adult

3) Child

Transactional AnalysisPAC Model Three Basic Concepts: Parent, Adult and

Child Transactions: Among P, A and C P < -- > P A < -- > A C < -- > C There are 9 possible transactions

The Three Ego States

Parent- “Do as I do” Child- “What shall I do?” Adult- “I will be frank with you”

Parent Ego State Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based

on messages or lessons learned from parents and other ‘parental’ or authoritarian sources

Shoulds and should nots; oughts and ought nots; always and never

Prejudicial views (not based on logic or facts) on things such as:

religion dress salespeopletraditions work productsmoney raising children companies

Nurturing views (sympathetic, caring views) Critical views (fault finding, judgmental, condescending

views)

Adult Ego State

Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on objective analysis of information (data, facts)

Make decisions based on logic, computations, probabilities, etc. (not emotion)

Child Ego State

Thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behavioral patterns based on child-like emotions, impulses, feelings we have experienced

Child-like examples

ImpulsiveSelf-centeredAngryFearful

HappyPleasure seekingRebelliousHappy

CuriousEager to please

Ego Portraits

People have favorite, preferred ego state, depicted by larger circle in a diagram

Parent Adult Child

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

Ego States and Contamination

The word contamination for many conjures up the idea of disease.

This occurs when we talk as if something is a fact or a reality when really this is a belief. Racism is an example of this.

Parent Contamination

Child Contamination

Double Contamination

Human Interaction Analysis

A transaction = any interaction or communication between 2 people

People send and receive messages out of and into their different ego states

How people say something (what others hear?) just as important as what is said

Types of communication, interactions1) Complementary2) Crossed3) Ulterior

Intonations: It’s the Way You Say It!

Placement of the emphasis

Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight?

Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight?

Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight?

Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight?

Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight?

Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight?

Why don’t I take you to dinner tonight?

What it means

I was going to take someone else.

Instead of the guy you were going with.

I’m trying to find a reason why I shouldn’t take you.

Do you have a problem with me?

Instead of going on your own.

Instead of lunch tomorrow.

Not tomorrow night.

Transactional Analysis

To analyse a transaction you need to see and feel what is being said as well.

Only 7% of meaning is in the words spoken.

38% of meaning is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said).

55% is in facial expression.

Kinds of Transactions

Transactional analysis - Transactions between people are seen as having 3 levels:

Complementary – both people are operating from the same ego state

Crossed – the other person reacts from an unexpected ego state

Ulterior – two ego states within the same person but one disguises the other

Complementary ‘Transactions’

Interactions, responses, actions regarded as appropriate and expected from another person.

Parallel communication arrows, communication continues.

Example 1: #1 What time do you have?

#2 I’ve got 11:15.P

A

C

P

A

C

Complementary ‘Transactions’ cont’dExample 2:

P

A

C

P

A

C

#1 You’re late again!

#2 I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.

Crossed ‘Transactions’ Interactions, responses, actions NOT regarded as appropriate or

expected from another person. Crossed communication arrows, communication breakdown.

Example 1 #1 What time do you have?

#2 There’s a clock on the wall, why don’t you figure it out yourself?

P

A

C

P

A

C

Crossed ‘Transactions’ cont’d

Example 2 #1 You’re late again!

#2 Yeah, I know, I had a flat tire.

P

A

C

P

A

C

Ulterior ‘Transactions’

Interactions, responses, actions which are different from those explicitly statedExample #1 How about coming up to my room and

listening to some music?

P

A

C

P

A

C

Modern Theory seven element model

parent

Parent is now commonly represented as a circle with four quadrants:

Nurturing - Nurturing (positive) and Spoiling (negative).

Controlling - Structuring (positive) and Critical (negative). adult

Adult remains as a single entity, representing an 'accounting' function or mode, which can draw on the resources of both Parent and Child.

child

Child is now commonly represented as circle with four quadrants:

Adapted - Co-operative (positive) and Compliant/Resistant (negative).

Free - Spontaneous (positive) and Immature (negative).

behavioural modes model•ineffective Modes reflect and invite a 'Not OK' response, and •the four effective Modes reflect and invite an 'I'm OK, You're OK' response

Structuring Mode - This is the boundary setting Mode, offering constructive criticism. In this Mode we are caring whilst firm. Supporting Mode - When in this Mode we are affirming and considerate. Co-creating Mode - From this Mode we develop ways to help us live and work with others. Playful Mode - This is the creative, fun loving, curious and energetic Mode. We can confront people playfully as a way of dealing with a difficult situation. This can diffuse a potential problem and get the message across.

Transactional Analysis

Four methods of understanding & predicting human behavior

Structural analysis – within the person Transactional analysis – 2 or more people Game analysis – understanding transactions

that lead to bad feelings Script analysis – understand a person’s life

plan

Structural analysis

Structural analysis – Natural child – spontaneous, impulsive,

feeling oriented, self-centered & pleasure loving

Adaptive child – compliant, conforms to the wishes & demands of parental figures

Structural analysis

Nurturing parent - comforts, praises and helps others

Critical parent – finds faults, displays prejudices, disapproves and prevents others from feeling good about themselves

A major goal is to figure out which ego state a person is using

Game analysis

Game analysis - ulteriorly motivated transactions that appear complimentary on the surface but end in bad feelings:

1st Degree games – minor upset, played socially end up with minor discomfort

2nd Degree games – more intimate end up w/bad feelings

3rd Degree games - usually involve physical injury

Some commonly found games

Here are some of the most commonly found themes of games described in Games People Play by Eric Berne:

YDYB: Why Don't You, Yes But. Historically, the first game discovered.

IFWY: If It Weren't For You WAHM: Why does this Always Happen to Me? (setting up a self-

fulfilling prophecy) SWYMD: See What You Made Me Do UGMIT: You Got Me Into This LHIT: Look How Hard I've Tried ITHY: I'm Only Trying to Help You LYAHF: Let's You and Him Fight (staging a love triangle)

Why Don't You/Yes But

White: I wish I could lose some weight.

Black: Why don't you join a gym?

White: Yes but, I can't afford the payments for a gym.

Black: Why don't you speed walk around your block after you get home from work?

White: Yes but, I don't dare walk alone in my neighborhood after dark.

Black: Why don't you take the stairs at work instead of the elevator?

White: Yes but, after my knee surgery, it hurts too much to walk that many flights of stairs.

Black: Why don't you change your diet?

White: Yes but, my stomach is sensitive and I can tolerate only

certain foods.

Typical Games

Between A shop keeper and a house wife: “This one is better, but you cannot afford it” Between A Teacher and a Student: “This is a good topic, but you cannot handle

it.” Between an Expert and a Candidate: “What you just said is totally wrong”

Script analysis

Script analysis – everyone develops a life script by age 5 & these scripts determine how one interacts with others based upon the interpretation of external events

A negative life script occurs when the person receives lots of injunctions by the parents that used the word DON’T

Script analysis

Common negative life scripts: Never – one never gets to do what one wants Until – one must wait until a certain time or

until something is done to be able to do something they want to do

Always – one must continue to do what one has always done

Script analysis

After – a difficulty is expected after a certain event

Open-ended – one does not know what to do after a given time

Mini-scripts: Hurry up! Try harder! Be perfect! Be strong! Please someone! These drivers allow for temporary escape from life scripts

Key concept

Transactional Analysis is effectively a language within a language; a language of true meaning, feeling and motive.

It can help you in every situation, firstly through being able to understand more clearly what is going on, and secondly, by virtue of this knowledge, we give ourselves choices of what ego states to adopt, which signals to send, and where to send them.

This enables us to make the most of all our communications and therefore create, develop and maintain better relationships.

Some Selling Implications of TA

Develop an adaptive selling strategy for ‘parent’, ‘adult’, ‘child’ customers

‘Best’ communication exchange for selling? Remember to respond in ‘complementary’ manner Most effective selling involves adult to adult

Strokes, or positive interactions, important Verbal (e.g. hello, compliment) Touch (handshake, pat on back) A gift Listening

Dealing with Difficult Customers

Keep ‘adult’ ego state in control of yourself. Don’t get defensive, argumentative, emotional. Don’t take it personally. Move cautiously, stay cool, remember

complementary transactions and strokes. Do not need to take continued abuse. If handled well (e.g. didn’t embarrass customer,

allowed them to take something out on you), can turn out to be positive later.

Sales Quotes: Transactional Analysis When a relationship is right, details are

negotiable;

When tension is high, details become obstacles.

Sales Quotes: Transactional Analysis

Rule #1:

The customer is never wrong.

Rule #2:

If the customer is wrong, read rule #1.