TOTAL IMPORTANT WORK-FIRST START WITH POSITIVE AFFIMATION -When you first start saying your positive affirmations, they may not be true, but with repetition and consistency they sink into your subconscious mind, you really start to believe them, and eventually they become your reality, they become a self fulfilling prophecy and actually become true.

-Say your affirmations 2x a day. Start in the morning, as soon as you can after waking up. This ensures you have a positive start to the day – that the first thing you start thinking about are your goals and ambitious, and of course, that you are thinking positive thoughts! Say your second set as close as you can before going to bed.Start with a focus. Don’t pick too many subjects at once.● be consistent. Repeat them daily.● Make a commitment to do them for 30 days, no matter what. Think long term, and don’t give up.● Monitor your mood first.

Before you start plan 3 simple visualizations you will do. You will imagine yourself fulfilling your goals, imagine yourself having achieved what you want to achieve, or already having transformed how you want to change yourself. 4. Now close your eyes. Take just one minute to clear your thoughts before you begin. A simple way to do this is to focus on your breathing and count to 30 - 1 count with each breath. Count 1 on the inhale, and 2 on the exhale, then inhale to 3... until you reach 30.This will help to slow your thoughts down, and help you to have clearer visualizations.5. Now, for 1 minute each imagines your 3 scenarios. Imagine yourself accomplishing your goal, imagine yourself having changed, and imagine yourself in the future.

-AnchoringSo, if you wanted to create an anchor for happiness you would think of happy times in your life, you would bring a smile to your face, you would visualize and actually experience the happiness. At the height of this exercise when the feelings are at their strongest you would create your anchor - you would pinch your fingers together. With a little repetition you begin to associate the pinch of your fingers to the feelings of happiness, and sooner than you would think it begins to work the other way round!A simple pinch of your fingers brings back these feelings of happiness - you can use it to get into this state when you are upset or feeling down and give yourself a natural boost.

1. Think of a time when you were super positive. Perhaps at the start of a new venture, a move to a new house or area, a new job, a time in your life when you were full of optimism and excitement. Remember how excited you were, how you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from smiling. Pinch your fingernail into the thumb on your left hand. Not too hard, but with enough pressure to create a distinct feeling.

2. Remember the actual feelings of happiness inside your body. Where was the feeling? Was it in your head, your heart, and your belly? Where does the feeling of happiness start for you, and where does it spread to, how do you feel happiness in your body when it spreads and grows to its peak? When you can really feel the feeling of happiness inside your body again, go ahead and pinch your fingernail into your thumb again.

3. Now finally, imagine the future. What would it take for you to be happy right now? What do you want in your life more than anything? Visualize yourself achieving your goals, getting what you want and being happy. When you can clearly see yourself with a big wide smile on your face, feeling good and simply naturally happy, then go ahead and pinch your fingernail into your thumb again.

I am attracting my soul mateI believe deeply that I will attract my soul mateMy soul mate is strongly attracted to meOthers are drawn to me because of my positive energyI deserve to find my soul mateMy soul mate and I are destined to be togetherI am beautiful inside and outI am interesting and sexyMen are naturally attracted to my glowing energyI am full of positive energyI am mouth-watering to menMen are drawn to my womanlinessI light up a roomMen are always noticing meI am a beautiful, confident, sexy womanI am losing weightI am slim and fitI always take care of my bodyI only eat healthy foodI am motivated to lose weight and become healthyI intend living a healthy life styleI am dedicated to following my weight loss planI am disciplined in my eating habitsI am strong in mind and bodyI am charismatic

I am positive and outgoingOthers are naturally attracted to my charismaI always lead the conversationI am full of positive energyI make others feel good with my positive energyI am always starting conversations and meeting new peopleI am friendly, positive, and outgoingI naturally attract others with my charismaI have high self esteemI love and respect myselfI am a great personI respect myself deeplyMy thoughts and opinions are valuableI am confident that I can achieve anythingI have something special to offer the worldOthers like and respect meI am a wonderful human beingI feel great about myself and my lifeI am a strong womanI enjoy being myselfI can read signs from menI am aware of what to say and doI am able to show him I’m interestedMen like who I amI accept nothing less than perfect when it comes to menI believe in my flirting skillsI enjoy talking to menI pay him compliments at appropriate timesMy seductive powers are strongI know exactly what to say and how to actI sense the right moment to play shyI know how to attract a man’s curiosityI am great at playing innocent when I have toI am a master seductressI always seduce the man I wantI am highly skilled at playing hard to get

I am sexyI am a confident WomanI attract men naturallyMen are drawn towards my positive energyI give off a glow that everyone noticesI am full of confidenceMen can pick up on my confidenceI am naturally sexy and attractiveI am free from fear of rejection

I am socially confidentI take risks even when I feel fearI remain relaxed even though I might be rejectedI am confident in new situationsI am good at talking to new peopleI always take the risk of going after something I wantI think positively about myself no matter how others may feelI am a confident and sexy womanI allow my femininity to shine throughI am graceful, sexy, and beautifulMen are naturally drawn to my femininityI am a woman who knows how to attract a manI am both dominating and obedient at the same timeI am charmingly feminineMen can surprise on my delicate sexual signalsI am the woman that everyone noticesOthers admire my highly charged feminine energyI am confident with myselfI am uniqueI am specialI bring something different to my environmentI am a great personI am a strong-minded individualMy opinions are importantI am as important as anyone elseI will attract great men into my lifeI am starting to feel more and more confidentI am developing an attractive personalityMen will be helpless to resist meMy sexual energy is constantly growing and developingI will attract any man I wantMen will be drawn to my energyI intend to develop my confidenceMen are starting to approach me wherever I goMy attitude is becoming more positive and attractiveMy soul mate and I will be together very soonI will find my soul mate and we will live happily ever afterI am attracting my soul mate more with each dayI will attract my soul mateA positive loving energy is growing between me and my soul mateI am beginning to feel deeply that I will meet my soul mate soonI believe more each day that I will find my perfect partnerMy soul mate is beginning to sense our connectionI will know my soul mate the instant we meetI will lose weightI am beginning to lose weight

I will be slimI am transforming into someone who exercises regularlyOthers are starting to notice I’m losing weightI am finding it easier to eat right and take care of myselfI will always choose healthy foods over junkI am turning into someone who others love to be aroundI will confidently express my amazing personalityOthers view me as a highly charismatic personMy natural charisma is growingI will spread positive energy to othersI am starting to feel more outgoing and socialI am transforming into someone who loves meeting new peopleOthers are beginning to notice how charismatic I amEvery day I become more and more outgoingI will succeedI will always love and respect myselfMy self esteem is growingEach day I believe in myself more and moreMyself image is starting to improveI will always think positively about myselfI will achieve whatever I put my mind toI am starting to feel more confident in myselfMy Confidence, self esteem, and self belief are increasing with each dayI am transforming into someone who is happy and positiveI will stop being afraid to make the first moveI will keep the conversation interestingMen will enjoy talking to meI will control the conversationI will be aware of my surroundingsI will pick up on his feelingsI will read his body languageMy confidence with men is increasingI will stay positive and have fun no matter what happensI will enjoy meeting new menI am starting to feel more naturally confidentI am feeling sexier and more daringMen will be drawn to my sexy and confident attitudeI will always love myself no matter whatMeeting new men is becoming more and more excitingI will get the man I wantI will overcome my fear of rejectionEvery day I become more confident and outgoingI am finding myself more relaxed in social situationsI will stay positive even if I am rejectedI am becoming naturally confident and outgoingI am beginning to enjoy the excitement of meeting new people

I am starting to let my guard down and take chancesI will express my womanly natureI will allow my femininity to shine throughMen will be helpless in my presenceI will light up a room with my positive energyOthers are starting to notice my subtle sexual powerI will act with grace, confidence, and powerI am starting to understand exactly how to attract menMen are drawn to my femininityI will allow my true beauty to shine throughI am becoming an alpha femaleI will stop caring what others think of meI will focus on myselfI will concentrate on improving myselfI am becoming more independentI will be more confident with what I do and sayI will stop feeling like I need to impress peopleI will stop being afraid to be myselfI will stop being insecureI believe in my ability to attract my soul mateI can sense deeply that there is one special person I am meant to be withBeing warm, loving, and loveable is just a natural part of who I amOthers see me as someone they’d like to get to know moreThere is a magical connection between my soul mate and IMy Soul mate and I are being drawn togetherMy soul mate and I are just meant to be togetherWhen I meet my soul mate, I’ll just naturally knowI effortlessly radiate positive and loving energyFeeling sexy and attractive is a normal part of my lifeMen are always pursuing meMen are naturally drawn to my wonderful personalityMen love to be around meI naturally draw men to me in all situationsI am just naturally confident and outgoing all the timeOthers see me as someone who always gets attention from menI can attract any manMen are naturally attracted to meI find it easy to lose weightI enjoy exercisingI am naturally slimI believe in my ability to lose weight and keep it offI deserve to be slim, healthy, and happyI have a naturally healthy mind and bodyI will think positively and just naturally lose weightI find it easy to stay in shapeI love eating healthy food and nurturing my body

I eat healthy and set a good example for my familyI am just naturally charismaticBeing outgoing comes naturally to meI have a magnetic personalityBeing charismatic is just a normal part of my lifeMaking others feel happy is something I just naturally doI enjoy sharing myself with othersI love being the center of attention People see me as someone who is always happy and positiveI am worthy of having high self esteemI believe in myselfI deserve to feel good about myselfI know I can achieve anythingHaving respect for me helps others to like and respect meFeeling good about myself is normal for meImproving my self esteem is very importantLiking and respecting myself is easySpeaking my mind with confidence is something I just naturally doI am naturally flirtatiousI put myself out thereI always use the best flirting skillsFlirting comes naturally to meI control my anxiety with menI love who I amI am friendly with menThe best version of me is my natural selfSeducing men comes naturally to meI can do exactly the right thing at the right time to increase attractionI can play innocent when neededMen are naturally drawn to me in a very deep wayMy feminine sexuality gives off a powerful and seductive energySeducing men is easyI can tune in to men and know exactly how to attract themI can effortlessly tap into my sexiness, playfulness, or confidenceI just naturally attract menMen are naturally drawn to my femininityBeing confident and feeling great is easy for meIt is normal for me to go after the man I wantI always feel confident, sexy, and happyMy energy is naturally positive and attractiveI always feel happy and confident when I am meeting menMeeting new men is easy for meMy personality is attractiveMen just naturally love to be around meI am naturally carefreeConfidence comes naturally to me

I accept myself no matter what happensI know I will succeed eventuallyI speak my mind without fear of rejectionFeeling confident is the most natural thing in the worldOthers are attracted to my positive and inviting energyWhen new opportunities come my way I take actionPeople see me as someone who isn’t afraid to take risksI can naturally attract men wherever I goI naturally draw men towards meI am a beautiful, sexual, graceful womanBeing confident is just who I amI always do the things I loveI believe in myselfI simply love who I amI am always honest with myselfI am talented at many thingsI am naturally immune from jealousyI am naturally good enough for anyonePeople care about what I have to sayI am always important to others"I have everything I need within me right NOW to be more than enough for this man, and even more than his ex is. I know that even if he does the thing I fear the most - which is leave me - I am far too powerful a woman to diminish myself because of this. I will be a better lover for the right man for me. I am a feminine woman who is full of love. No-one can TRULY reject me, because I am far better than that. I am sun shine. I am a very lucky girl. Out there under the same moon and stars I am sleeping beneath tonight, is a great, strong, kind, handsome man, who loves me with all his heart. He loves me more than words could ever say, and I know he would do anything in the world to hold me in his arms and tell me how special I am to him.

The Art of Being a Modern Siren III All sirens were MYSTERIOUS. The sirens worked on a man’s IMAGINATION, stimulating his fantasies and keeping him wanting more. Moreover, a siren based her art on learning how to sing, to speak with a breathy languor, on being suggestive, on being enticing....

Never make a man become ACCUSTOMED to you. Nothing's worse in a relationship than predictability and habit. A siren's success in love's game, as in gambling, consists in 'getting out of the game' at the psychological moment before her luck begins to turn.

While you’re capturing a man, shake things up a bit by doing things that are out of character and going places at a time that's different to your usual routine. Surround yourself with other male friends, stir his jealousy, but be

careful. Love often fades if there’s no rival around. Be hard to get and a consummate coquette. This will drive him crazy with desire for you ;-)

In addition, what makes men indifferent to their girlfriends is that they can see them whenever they please! Sometimes it's better to shut your door - this will prevent a man from taking you for granted, and renew the dwindling flames of desire. Wait a little before you give a man your answer. Waiting always arouses love, if it’s only for a short time anyway ;-) But don’t give in too easily to a man’s requests. Like a true siren, make him experience hope and fear together. Don’t always be sugary, give him little nips of PAIN (jealousy, secrecy, frustration and fear,) but not too much. Avoid WHOLLY satisfying a man. Always leave something to be experienced later. And don't ever let a man take you for granted or treat you any less than a 'goddess.'Discover the beauty of your naked body and show it off; at the right time and in the right place. Furthermore, show an innocent sexuality and spend most of your time dressed in seductive dresses of bright beautiful colors. And don't forget those "killer" heels. The art of a siren includes not showing a man your weaknesses, or ANY of your cards for that matter. A siren is the one woman who can keep her secrets, and she doesn't train the hunter how to hunt her or the way to snare her! Never give a man to much. Make him prove himself to you, as well as WORK for your favor. Don't ever tell your girlfriends how you really feel about the one you want, it will always get back to him and he'll lose interest.

Have long hair, or grow it long. Long hair is not only associated with the sirens, but with seductive beauty. Moreover, let it loose when you’re with your man - arrange it artistically across a pillow - even letting him "wrap" your hair around him. Also, wrap a tendril of your hair around your finger while you’re listening to him.

Minimize your flaws and less-attractive parts; act as if they don’t exist and behave as if you’re BEAUTIFUL. Don’t draw attention to those things by telling a man about them. You’ll become so much less of a fantasy woman the moment you’ve spoken of them. Treat men’s interest and preferential treatment of you as natural and a RIGHT; live the role of a siren un-abashedly and as if it’s "second skin."

When a man checks you out, give him a little half-smile, or wink. Remember, you’re the one who has power over the male sex and the worst thing you can do is not be gracious about it. Enchant him with your FEMININITY; be girly and feminine in everything you do. Femininity is a siren's greatest tool of enchantment doves! So allow men to open doors for you and pull out chairs for you. Part of your siren skills involve making men want to bend over backwards to do things for you, pick things up for you, protect you and go out of their way to promote you.

Suggest innocence and the erotic; have sex appeal and hint that you love sex, but be ambiguous about it. Never talk about it directly, you’re ladies remember? But inside of you is a volcano of sexual energy - and a sensuality that's been refined by fire. By sticking out your lower lip when you don't get your way - ever so slightly - you'll be giving your face the air and illusion of a spoiled (but much adored,) little girl. Generate wattage of electricity and magnetism; ooze VITALITY and be exuberant about life. Be a woman who "runs with the wolves," who's passionate and free.

Flirt and be playful; a kittenish creature full of curiosity, self-discovery and FUN. Greet men with a kiss on the cheek (and a whiff of your perfume.) Speak in a slow, unhurried and slightly husky voice - as if you never quite woke up when you got out of bed. Utilize the power of touch; build a rapport with a man you like and touch him occasionally to emphasize a point. Don’t be too shy to place your hand on a man's arm cupcakes, or to give him a friendly pat on his back for that matter.... To be a siren you must TOUCH, and touch often, and it's only natural to want to touch a man whom you like. Be the woman he wants to know; be welcoming, charming and fascinating.

Make yourself his dream girl; study his interests and desires; his tastes and preferences. Adapt to his ideal. Go along with his moods and look for clues.... a look in the eye, a tone of his voice, a sudden silence.... Discover the things that are lacking in his own personality and what he's missing out on - and PROVIDE it.

Be a mirror; subtly reflecting a man's body language and gestures back at him while he’s talking. This will create TRUST and the illusion that you’re his kind of woman. Furthermore, find the subject that’s interesting to you both, that you can both happily expand on. And retain some personal information about him and casually mention it to him next time you see each other - making him feel noticed and significant. Every woman knows enough to laugh at a man's joke, but only a born siren knows enough to hang onto his arm and beg him to "Tell it again!"

Be prestigious; being a siren doesn’t mean accessibility, it means being difficult to attain, COQUETRY. This is a carefully crafted image of “Bitari” a term geisha use for a combination of coquetry and allure. Be the consummate coquette doves - yet always hinting of a volcano of sexuality inside. **When a siren spends time with a man, she may be focusing on him intently - but a part of her remains mysteriously aloof - the entire time. Her own deft mind and restraint controls the experience.

**If a man asks you out, pause a few seconds, then tell him you’re flattered but NOT available on that particular day (or night.) When you see the disappointment fleeting across his face, politely suggest a rain-check with a little half-smile. This ensures that can she can smile in the face of rejection,

and never get hurt. And if whatever comes to the surface is something less-than-ideal, a siren doesn’t get too disappointed - she’s faintly amused.

Be a rare thing; in your style, your physical appearance, in your hobbies and interests. Be mystical, unique.... a SIREN. A siren can truly have the most seductive and PROFOUND eyes that a man has ever seen.

Not only a siren uses her eyes to get a man to approach her, but to SUMMON him and hold him under her spell! The courtesans, geisha and seductresses throughout history were FLUENT in the language of the eyes, and so can you be. Have some faith in the matter! When a seductress’s eyes are able to communicate the right things to a man, they can speak volumes. Moreover, when you perfect this type of gaze, a man certainly will be getting more than he bargained for - and getting a sense that there's something very profound and meaningful being hinted at in your eyes. I'm talking about the kind of gaze that gives a man the illusion that you're almost reaching into his SOUL, as well as portraying to him something that’s hidden away

A woman, who can’t look directly into a man's eyes, and without blinking, lacks a most convincing proof of her power. One powerful secret of a true siren is to dare to look right into a man’s eyes as if they were old lovers. It’s actually through your eyes, that you can initially influence a man who you've just met. Men also instinctively trust any person who can meet their eye with ease. to practice gazing into your own eyes daily, when looking into a mirror. Do this for just a minute or two at a time. While you’re looking into your own eyes, think about something (such as passion, desire, mystery or depth.... ) or whatever it is that that you’d like to be able to express to someone of the opposite sex to whom you're attracted to. A woman’s eyes can also precede the illusion of a strong male/female connection, as well as a flow of PROMISE - even of a mysterious magnetism. Like the eyes of a lion tamer, an alluring woman can hold her ‘captive’ in a thrall! She can even touch a man without saying a single word.

When looking at other people, you'll find that the majority of people will meet your eyes, but will not ever be looking right into them. When a woman’s seeking to influence a man, she must continually be doing that, as well as looking directly into the man’s pupils (although some people can’t seem to be able to stand it.) In addition, while she's looking directly into the man’s eyes, she must think of a particular emotion, or thought that she'd like to CONVEY. Then she should concentrate on that thought a little bit, and then simply allow it to ‘transfer’ into his mind - through her eyes and intent! Such absorbing and influencing eyes will be directly stirring a man's magnetic center, as well as his nervous system. Believe me my feminine lovelies, real magnetic energy only ever passes from yourself into a man, only when you look right into the pupil of his eye, it's a thing which only

usually occurs between lovers, and which is more than partly responsible for the thrills that they experience! ;-)

Another, the next step is LOWER your eyelids - as if they were just a tiny bit sleepy. This will cause the seductive ‘bedroom eye' effect. Then, you must also be able to ‘smile' with your eyes. Frequently give a man you find attractive your flirtatious glances, and occasionally look at him with half-closed eyes. And while you're doing all of this, smile warmly at him, as well as look directly into the PUPILS of his eyes.* Warning; the behavior of the siren effects men like a DRUG.

The Seductive and Magnetic Gaze Exercise;

Look up at the sky for a brief few moments each day. While you're looking up there, start by imagining that an invisible force of energy is coming down from the sky, and going directly into the pupils of your eyes.

Concentrate your thoughts on sending the intangible, yet very real electrical magnetic energy from the sky into them. Of course this is partly due to using your imagination, but remembers that your imagination is very powerful!

Now, stand in front of a mirror, and practice gazing into your own eyes until you can do so steadily - and without flinching. Imagine a constant stream of magnetic energy flowing from your eyes.

When your eyes have 'absorbed' this energy, when you look directly into a man’s pupils with a steady gaze. it will definitely help to bring him under your control - and your two magnetic centers will be coming into close contact.

Furthermore, when looking at the one you want, imagine a ray of light emanating from the area between your eyes directly into his pupils. When you send out this ray of light, your pupils will also enlarge. Dilated pupils also make you look more seductive and desirable. Try it, he’ll be captivated!

Ancient Egyptian women, including Cleopatra, believed that making eye contact not only created an emotional impact on a man, but a woman’s dilated pupils made her more seductive and desirable in the eyes of men.

This still stands today, and you can create the effect of dilated pupils by not only imagining a ray of light emanating from the area between your eyes, but by looking into the distance, and focusing on something for a few seconds, then quickly transferring your glance onto the man.

Cleopatra perfected this languishing look that caused men to forget everything except its owner!

If you desire, practice this seductive and magnetic gaze daily, and you'll be able to captivate men with your mere glance. Moreover, your rather BEWITCHING eyes will 'hypnotize' men, and make them feel drawn towards you. Like all magnetic usages cupcakes, the magnetic gaze technique must not ever be abused.

Another, the next step is LOWER your eyelids - as if they were just a tiny bit sleepy. This will cause the seductive ‘bedroom eye' effect. Then, you must also be able to ‘smile' with your eyes. Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce use this particular gaze in their videos.

Toolkit : The Waterwheel is about imagining - no matter WHAT is really going on in your relationship - which all his love, heart and energy are coming TOWARD you. So do this:1. Picture one of those huge, gorgeous waterwheels on the side of a barn that you may have seen in pictures, or perhaps you know one near where you live.2. Really imagine it in detail - the huge wooden wheels, the water it sits in. Imagine it turning. How it turns slowly, gently picking up water from the pond it sits in, carrying the water as it turns, and then how the water gets carried all the way to the top and then over... until it drops back into the water on the other side. Imagine how it KEEPS turning.3. Now imagine the same waterwheel (a smaller version) right at your chest, right up against your body, t1. Now, imagine the wheel turning in the OTHER direction - toward YOU.2. Imagine it picking up all the love, heart and energy from your MAN, and then turning to drop it and deliver it, and spill it beautifully all over YOU.3. Let your arms drop by your sides, turn your palms over, and imagine that the wheel is turning - returning now to HIM, all dripping and empty. Open zipper in your heart4. Now, to make sure that you're not only TAKING, but GIVING BACK, too, imagine his love, heart and energy coming toward you, spilling all over you, filling you up, making you feel fantastic, and juicing up your own personal fountain of love, heart and energy.5. Imagine all this juicy, lovely energy of your own heart drifting down your arms and out to him through the palms of your hands.Imagine you're just naturally flowing with the waterwheel, and your energy is giving BACK to him, along with the dripping and nearly empty waterwheel. Lean your body back while you're doing this, so you don't feel like you're GIVING - but that you're clearly GIVING BACK - a response to his love and heart and energy coming to you on the Waterwheel.The Trick Here Is To Imagine This ALL THE TIME. Even if you can't feel his love coming toward you, Even when he hasn't called in days, Even while

you're flirting with other men and imagining THEIR waterwheels turning toward you.Imagine the whole WORLD of waterwheels turning toward you. And that your ONLY JOB is to open your heart and let the water, love, heart and energy come in. Your only job is to RECEIVE.

Gesture languageDon't: Lean ForwardWhen you lean forward toward a man while you're sitting or standing, it can feel masculine and aggressive to him. It changes your physical and emotional “vibe” and subconsciously feels like you're chasing him, to counteract this, simply lean back. Just tilt your body backwards when you're around a man and see what happens. When you're sitting in a chair, don't lean forward when you're having a conversation. Lean back. If you're standing across from a man, put one foot behind the other and shift your weight so that you're leaning away, not toward him.

Do: Relax Your HandsWhen women manage and multi-task, their hands get very tight. So do their shoulders and arms. Have you ever caught yourself balling your hands into a tight fist when you're speaking with a man? This kind of body language feels tense and harsh to a man.Instead, practice letting your wrists go limp and opening your palms. Move your hands in front of your body and imagine they have no bones at all in them. If you're holding a glass or a fork, notice how tightly you're gripping and allow your hands to soften. This small change will make you feel soft, feminine and calmer. It will force you to slow down and drop tension off your body.

Don't: Have Tall Shoulders See if you can catch yourself with your shoulders up around your ears. To a man, that looks like you're ready to pounce. It reminds him of his own tension, and he doesn't want to feel that in you. Keep a watch on where your shoulders are and consciously practice relaxing them and letting them fall. Role shoulder back and down

Do: Step Back If you feel a man pull back or lean away, it's not enough to just lean back. Actually take a step backward. This is especially good in a relationship that's getting disconnected.

Do: Dance This isn't about putting on music and doing a jig in the living room. To dance with a man is to let your body follow his lead in a romantic situation. When he steps forward, you step back, when he steps back, you allow yourself to flow forward. Imagine how this would work with phone calls, texts, e-mails …

pretty much any conversation with a man. By allowing his lead, you'll keep from focusing too much on him and losing the rhythm of your own body. Dancing is about responding. It's about being in the moment and not about trying to make things happen. If you soften your body language in these ways, he'll feel compelled to be around you, get to know you, and will feel more affectionate and romantic toward you.

1. NEVER think that you're not worthy or deserving of love!2. NEVER think that you're incapable of anything. It doesn’t matter how difficult or unattainable that objective seems to be at the moment. Don’t let it limit your potential!3. ALWAYS think beyond what you think you can achieve.

"Like attracts like." If you think positive lovely, then positive things are going to happen to you. If you believe staunchly that something good will happens, then everything around you will align itself in such a way that these things start taking shape. That’s the power of the law of attraction.The right question is, “Who is going to be lucky enough to date me?” Attitude is everything

Write the following on your Needs List and underline it several times so that you are guaranteed to stick to it. “I only date men who are willing to tell me how much they appreciate me.”

it’s essential that you let men know, very clearly, exactly what they need to do to make you happy. Or try telling him a story about a gift you received, making it clear how wonderful the experience was for you. Remember that he isn’t one of those mind-reading geniuses or cosmic, future predicting

And that brings us to the end of this segment! To recap, the Top Three Takeaways from this section are:

1. Self-awareness is one of the most useful and important skills you will ever develop. The process of meeting your dream man isn’t actually about the man – it’s all about you.

2. Set the bar high. Know exactly what you want and need from a relationship, and exactly what you don’t want.3. Have the confidence to ask for the things you want and reject the things you don’t.

Flirty conversation has two important ingredients: open-ended questions and acknowledgment. They’ll make a man feel like a million bucks and get you whatever you want.

GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.Just because you don’t like your big butt doesn’t mean that a man won’t. Whatever you’ve got, work it. There’s a man out there who will love you for it.

You can call up those powerful feelings from your circle of dating success any time you need them by touching your thumb and middle finger together and saying “Feminine” in your mind or out loud. You can send your Dating Success Circle ahead of you any time you’d like; send it right to your dinner date location so that you can step into it in your mind when you arrive, or send it to the club.

No one will ever see anything except your confidence, feminine power, joy, positivity and charisma, so use it frequently!

Of the five senses, scent is the one most closely associated with memory, so in a man’s mind, your signature Charm Your Way Into his Heart scent will be strongly tied to you. Fragrance is a very personal and powerful thing, so choose something that expresses the woman that you are, but don’t go overboard with it. Your perfume should never overpower your personality.

A date should be focused on your energy, your face, your laugh, your bright eyes, your love for life and the joy you carry with you.

how much they like to show off what they know? Guys LOVE when you ask them for advice; guys think girls who do “guy things” are WAY HOT; and by asking a man for help, you’ve activated the masculine energy that he loves to feel and have given him the opportunity to talk to you, thereby eliminating his Achilles Heel: fear of rejection.

Thank him for his amazing advice and ask him if he minds you calling if you have any other questions. Want a bonus? Mention what you do for a living and offer your number just in case he ever needs your help with anything. Chances are, you’ve made him feel so great about himself that even if he has no idea what you do “for real,” he’ll Google it and find a reason to call you with a question. And believe me, ladies, you want him to ask questions so put your prettiest smile on your face, speak from your abdomen, use your sweetest voice and give him the answer. And then follow it with a question. Congratulations, you’ve started a conversation

Do you know that when you are making that crazy face trying to make your baby nephew laugh, you are in your deepest pleasure? And when you are in your deepest pleasure, you are naturally flirting. With yourself, with babies, with dogs, with the Starbucks guy and, yes, with the men you want. But somehow, when flirting becomes the means to an end, or getting the guy, it can become difficult. So get back to your roots!

Men love a challenge, so a friendly game of cat and mouse is exactly what they want from the women they meet. Make a man work for you. It’s what he loves, as long as you don’t go so overboard with “playing hard to get” that he actually gives up on trying to get you.

A man does want to go after you, but being the species that has a tremendous fear of rejection, they have to know that you’re worth going after in the first place. He needs to know he has a chance. The trick is to ignite his curiosity just enough that he’s attracted and wants to pursue you, then back off so that he can take the lead. If you do it right, he’ll think it was his idea the whole time! So by approach, I mean this: Smile and direct eye contact. Lock eyes with him, flash your most alluring smile, and then look away. Smile with your whole face – you know how to do it!

Touch yourself. Put on your lip gloss slowly. Run your fingers through your hair. Pay attention to body language signals, such as your voice, posture, and the way other people position themselves in relation to you. Speak slowly, clearly, and loudly and keep the eye lock when you are speaking. Don’t look over his shoulder at what else may be walking in the room. Think about how hot you are the whole time. Have a little affirmation that you say inside your head like, “I’m so luscious, every man wants me.” When you think positive things on the inside, it shows on the outside.

Maintain good posture by keeping your spine straight, your shoulders back, and your arms uncrossed. This also indicates that you’re confident, and when you position your body in a physically open way, like the uncrossed arms and legs, it tells men that you’re mentally open to being approached.

Be present with the environment. Turn off your damn phone and put it in your purse. You can talk to that person later and, trust me, that person is not helping you find your Mr. Right. Men want to know you are all about THEM, not the person on the phone. Smile, laugh, dance, and interact with other people around you.

If you have a penchant for humor, say something funny and make him laugh. What a turn-on. If you’re with a group, show off how well you interact

with others; flirt with the whole group. Always look like you’re having more fun than anyone else in the room and men will want to be a part of that fun. Lose yourself in the moment.

“Mirroring and Solar Plexus Anchoring”

Copy him. No seriously, copy him! But don’t make it obvious and make sure to maintain your feminine charm. Why would you want to copy him? Simple When you copy or mirror someone, they begin to feel that you are like them.1. Slowly begin to match his breathing over a two-minute period and continue to do this.

2. Begin next to match the tone and speed of his voice and talking for a minute, and continue to do this.3. Next, move on to less subtle movements like his posture; don’t do anything obvious like lean back and spread your legs apart as so many men are fond of doing, but instead move your arms to “mirror” his, just like you are his mirror.4. Now every time he shifts, wait fifteen seconds and shift your body to match his as though you are looking in a mirror. If his left arm is slightly more forward, your right arm should be.5. Continue to mirror him for at least ten minutes, waiting fifteen seconds before you adjust yourself to him each time, and then change something that he hasn’t changed. See if he follows you. If he does, you’ve built rapport, and he is both comfortable and connected. Now it’s time to pop the question! Just kidding, don’t do that. Now might be a good time to ask some of your more brilliant questions, which we will get to a little later.

When you “anchor” a man to you, every time he thinks of a certain word, his memory calls up your face and your moment in time spent with him. Let’s say that you touch your solar plexus, the space between your chest and your collarbone, every time you say the word “amazing.” Now every time he hears the word amazing, thinks of the word amazing, sees the word amazing, or smells and tastes something he thinks is amazing, he’ll think of you! Incredible, isn’t it? And you don’t just have to use the word amazing. In fact, right now I’d love you to stop and list five words that you would love a man to connect to you, to anchor to you, to think of you every time he recognizes that word in his very existence. List them now. Some of my favorite words are sexy, incredible, brilliant, happy, and beautiful. One more thing – make this easier on yourself by wearing a necklace with a charm that hangs within the region of your solar plexus. Make sure it doesn’t hang down too close to the ladies because then he won’t even hear what you’re saying

Men love compliments. So you may approach him by telling him how great his tie is, or notice a detail like his school ring and say, “My bother

graduated from Duke, when you attended?” Or a simple “What’s up?” Humor is always a turn-on. You could coyly giggle at the guy busting a move on the dance floor with toilet paper stuck to his Ferragamo shoe, or tell a funny story. If he starts to get deep with politics, or something you are completely clueless about, you can always reel him back in with almost anything humorous.

When you’re talking to a man, you can get away with saying almost anything, as long as you keep your energy high, a playful tone in your voice and a smile on your face. Like I said before, if your fun and flirty attitude can make him laugh and improve his day, even just a little bit, he’ll be hooked. Here is another tool guaranteed to keep him engaged – to your words, silly – ask him open-ended questions.

Here are three questions that go a long way:

1- What’s your favorite restaurant? This will tell you a lot about the guy. I mean a LOT. If he says Applebee’s, then don’t expect gourmet on the first date ifb there even is one. why?2- “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” This is where you’re going to discover how altruistic your potential Mr. Right truly is. If his answer is that he would help find a cure for cancer, then follow it up again with “Why?”3- The third question that I ask is, “Tell me three of your pie-in-the-sky dreams,” and it’s specifically pie in the sky, because you want to find out if he’s nuts or simply awesome. Don’t bore him with basic questions, like “Where did you go to school?” and “What do you do for a living?” This is not a job interview, this is flirtation!!

Acknowledgment can make you irresistible. Yes, acknowledging him, praising him – without going full-gush overboard – can make you absolutely irresistible. A word of warning, though: If you don’t want a man to be completely hooked on you, don’t praise him to the hills! You will just set him up for heartbreak. Appreciate, praise, and acknowledge men, even if you’ve just met themDeal-closers are designed to move the relationship forward. Once again, you’re going to use a question, because men love it when they’re given problems to solve. Try asking something like, “Do you know of a good place to find a cup of coffee, or a dry cleaner or a reliable mechanic?” When you give him an opportunity to help you, you allow him to feel like the hero he really wants to be!

Here’s a few common ways that you can use contagious emotions and improve situations with men.

• Stay calm and controlled with a content feeling if you’re talking about important or intense issues with a man. If you can find a way to relax and be assertive, then the man will open up more and feel the same.• If you’re out with a man and something embarrassing or irritating happens, find a way to laugh at it—find the humor in the situation.• Ask a man to tell you a funny or gross story to make him feel that he’s creating a fun and positive emotional context.• If a man says something hurtful to you, don’t lash back at him. Instead, give yourself some space from him and let him know that you won’t go there with him. If you stay calm and positive, the man will realize that he’s been an idiot and a jerk.On the other hand, “Intellectual Attraction” has little to do with looks or the appearance of things. It most often comes about as a result of a man seeing and identifying for himself something special and unique in a woman’s personality. This attraction usually comes from indications of high status (which includes voice, posture, attitude, and the way other people position themselves around you). It also includes things like a sense of humor, confidence, and unpredictability.And here’s a crucial point: a man can’t experience Intellectual Attraction for a woman if he sees her as someone who’s not equal to him. And if a man sees a woman as being higher status, then the attraction can be even more intensified. Sense of humor. Being funny and witty is just plain powerful with men. If you keep him laughing, things will naturally keep escalating.• Intelligence and creativity. Intelligence is sexy if it’s used in a way that it interesting. Use your intelligence and creativity to surprise him with concepts, fantasies, and unexpected things that are Thoughtful. Men don’t like to be over-appreciated, have things bought for them, or kissed up to. But if you can let a man know that you were thinking about him in a way that doesn’t say “I’m lonely and I need you”, and then he’ll love it. Send him a short witty email and let him know that he’s on your mind.• Perceptive or noticing details. Men love to be noticed. If he’s really good at something, into some sport, or smart in some particular area, they USE these to be important and attractive. Men are impressed by women who notice things about them that make them unique.• Adventurous. Men have an automatic bonding system when they have some kind of adventure with another person. So men are instantly drawn to women who suggest and take part in extreme, adventurous, unusual, or even dangerous things. The excitement of the activity transfers over to his perspective of your being an exciting and sexy woman.• Confident/Playful. Men are magnetically attracted to women who are just a little bit too playful or cocky Just a little. Some women take a bitchy and distant, and kind of cold attitude which isn’t what I’m talking about. If you watch Renee Russo in the Thomas Crown Affair or Kelly McGillis in Top Gun you’ll see what I’m talking about. Being assertive with a touch of arrogance humor will make you magical in a man’s eyes.

• Talents & Knowledge. If you’ve got something that you’re an expert in, it can be really attractive. Bring it up with a man in a way that says, “hey, check this out, this is interesting…” and then do something that surprises him. Don’t do it in a way that says, “I’m really smart and cool.”• Attention. Men like attention. It’s strange how it works too. It’s better to hint that you’re giving them attention than to just do it. Say to a man, “I was thinking about the way you spoke earlier, and I just want to say how much I love the sound of your voice.” Doing that is much more powerful than just sitting there and listening to him and staring into his eyes and hoping that he feels the connection and gets that you like his voice.• Being A Challenge. Men pursue women often, but lots of times when a woman likes a man, she’ll start pursuing him - sometimes without even knowing that she’s doing it. If you’re relaxed and casual with a man that might like you or that you like, and call him and tell him that you’re bored by what he’s been doing lately and that he needs to entertain you, and you do it in a playful way, then he’ll often do his best to do something to get your attention. Let him know that he needs to do something spectacular or else you’re disinterested. It can drive men crazy, but they really love it.• Aggressive (Just a touch). Men love to see women who can go after something in their life and not be deterred and frustrated by it. And I’m not talking about going after a man. I’m talking about a goal or something in the woman’s own personal life.• Assertive. Men are used to being the leader. So if a woman is assertive and confident in any social situation, it is a sign to men that she knows how to make things happen. Seeing an assertive woman can be refreshing and intriguing for a man. Although men tend to take the lead, men also love women who can lead.• Teasing, Tension & Sexual Mastery. It’s no secret that men love sex. But just like life, a good lover isn’t easy to find. Men instantly become addicted to skillful lovers, especially if they can tease them and taunt them a little. If you make a man wait, build suspense and tension, and always make the tempo of things go a little slower than he wants, it will drive a man crazy.• Unpredictable/Predictable. Men are drawn to women who they can’t control or predict. They obsess over women who flirt, give them attention, and then don’t feel the need to talk the next day. Predictability is only attractive when it comes to choosing a wife. BUT… a man, as strange as it sounds, wants to see a woman as unpredictable in the beginning of a relationship. Predictability has a place when the relationship beings to evolve into something more serious, but even then there needs to be a element of unpredictability. The characteristics of “Naturals”:• They keep the earlier interactions with men short and fun.• They’re unpredictable.• No matter what a man says or does, they don’t get rattled or taken off balance.

• Instinctively, they seem to “get” what creates and amplifies attraction in men, without having to be overtly sexual.• When they first meet a man, they never let the conversation get too serious too soon and they avoid talking about subjects like work, family, and religion for too long.• They’re flirtatious and they offer challenging twists during conversation.• They challenge men on their issues in casual and non-dramatic and non-threatening way.• If a man is flirting with them they don’t just accept compliments, but put the ball back in play to create more tension, which keeps him intrigued.• They know that having a good time together and being relaxed as things are starting out is more important than trying to make things happen too soon.• Even if they are dating a man, they keep plans and interests outside the relationship they’re in. They don’t lose touch with They never think too far ahead and they understand that creating a better moment in the present is much better than trying to talk about or create something in the future of the relationship.A big part of what attracts men and keeps them thinking about a woman is when you can mix the serious with the fun, and do it in an UNPREDICTABLE way. Being unpredictable in a fun way with a man is pure magic. But when it's coupled with something serious, it's a sure recipe for attraction and creating mystery that makes him want to stay.For example, let’s say you’re in a bar or a restaurant and you’re talking with a man that sparks your interest. If you’re like most women, then you’ll ask him some common questions about himself, his career, his life, his family, etc… Wrong! Boring!What's fascinating is that you're pushing his ATTRACTION buttons at the same time that you're getting him to open up. You're mixing the attraction building and flirting with the more intellectual or personal stuff and making it all flow together in a way that the guy can't resist.

If you're challenging a man’s thoughts and character in a playful way you’ll instantly become unique in his mind. You would have separated yourself from the 90% of other women out there who can’t or won’t challenge men. Most women show their interest by acting sweet, seductive, and laugh at anything a man says even if it’s not funny. These almost women come off as being “cheesy”, over the top, and insincere.

First and foremost, they want a woman that is in CONTROL (of the situation,herself, her emotions, other people, her world, and especially someone in control of the entire reality that they share). So it goes to show that women who are confident, comfortable, and in control are often irresistibly attractive to men.

The reason I talk about all of this “Never try to convince a man… don’t force a relationship with him… Never let him think that you feel like you have to have him or else your life can’t go on…” etc. is, ironically, to give him what he REALLY wants… a woman that’s in control.

The women I see that are successful with men are enjoying themselves, talking about whatever comes up, making jokes, and generally behaving like a normal person while they engage in playful challenges with men. But, like anything else, if they do too much testing and challenging, it’s counterproductive… so they must be used at the right moments.

Most women screw up when a man begins acting distant or weird or when he doesn’t seem interested in her, and when a man gets upset, women will say “I can’t believe you’re doing this” and mess it up. Or they act aloof, and the guy sees her starting to have doubting emotions. You have to stay in control… if a man starts to withdraw, instead of getting nervous say in a playful but confident way, “I guess you don’t know what to do with a real woman once you’ve met her… I guess it’s time to hang out with the girls who don’t have all these hang-ups…”

Here’s a bit more background on the why’s and how’s of testing and challenging to increase attraction. When you’re challenging a man early on in a dating situation, the best thing you can do is challenge him in the context of common dating issues that most men have. Asking him, “Why can’t lots of men figure out that they don’t want a woman for a girlfriend before they get intimate or sleep with her?”

Best of all, everything happens in a cool and casual way without it sounding and feeling like you’re trying to get a man to talk about “issues”. By doing this, you demonstrate that you're in control and can deal with issues that other women often lose their cool over while at the same time you challenged him about his feelings and beliefs. To do this, a woman genuinely has to be "together" with her attitude, body language, etc. or else the message the guy will get will be very different.

The bottom line is that when it comes to finding a woman and settling down, men are NOT attracted to or interested in needy, unconfident, and low status women. They're attracted to witty, unpredictable, confident, high status women that are comfortable wherever they are, and able to talk about anything they want to talk about in an interesting way. The good news is that ANY woman can learn to take on these qualities for herself, no matter who she is or what she looks like.

It's a challenge to a man when you ask questions like this because you're dangling bait out there for him to take. And what's even more powerful about it is that you're being serious AND flirtatious at the same time. Being serious and the flirtatious at the same time feel very playful and fun to a guy.

There's a deeper a communication that takes place when you talk to a man in a challenging way, and it goes beyond attraction. By asking a man direct questions about his character, his personality and his desires in a pressure free, fun, and flirtatious way, you're subtly telling him that you're paying attention to him and being selective about what kind of man you'll spend your time with. Remember the section on selectivity and its benefits.

Lots of men talk about women with this negative attitude and it’s as though the woman is trying to take something away from them. Maybe you’ve seen or encountered this attitude in men.

I realized that women who playfully test and challenge men do, in fact, attract great men and the men stay around longer. And even more amazing is that IFound that the more a woman was focused and deliberate about communicating what she wanted with a man, as long as she didn’t use much pressure to communicate, it worked in her favor. “Selfish” behavior, as unhealthy as this might sound, often makes men feel attracted to you and wins them over to your way of thinking. Weird huh? Sarcasm, playing hard to get, challenging their behavior and beliefs and all kinds of other "illogical" things like letting a man know that you’ll only date him seriously if he’s open to considering marriage as an option in the future really does work when it comes to attracting and keeping good men around.

Here's a PARTIAL list of what creates that ATTRACTION:• Unpredictability• Uncontrollability• Challenging• Casual Interplay of Dominance/Submission

See if you can be a little less predictable. Don't let outside events or men control you. Be more of a challenge. Stop being submissive... and get in touch with that side of you that is more dominant (I said "dominant", not "domineering"). And take some time to think about the positive benefits you can get by being generous and selfish at the same time. Selfish is about asking and telling people what you want in your life, not forcing it on them

The #1 thing that drives men crazy and scares them off when you’re dating is neediness and insecurity. And while most women don’t see their behavior as being like this, it’s the most common turn-off men have when they’re dating women.

Men have highly sensitive “radar” for clingy, needy, and insecure behavior. A woman’s tone of voice, body language or words can quickly tell a man about clingy or insecure feelings a woman is having. Worst of all, when a man picks up on this it often has long term effects on the potential he sees for a relationship with a woman.

Here are some examples of neediness and insecurity:• Hanging on a man or touching him too much, especially in public. If you are constantly taking the initiative to be in physical contact with a man he’ll eventually take it as clingy behavior. If you want to touch him, save it for short and infrequent moments that will surprise and enchant him

• Talking or saying negative things about other women. When women call other women names like slut, bitch, crazy it doesn’t impress a man or make him see something new.

• Talking or saying all kinds of nasty things about your past boyfriends and past relationships. Doing this reflects on you more negatively than you might think.

• Acting overly emotional. If a man sees that you get rattled, upset, or frustrated too easily he’ll see you as insecure and he’ll think that you’ll do this to him as well—this will scare him away from you.

• Trying too hard for attention is a turn-off. When women try to act too sexy, too funny, too cool, or too smart they end up looking stupid these things, he’ll notice you in a negative way. The best way to get noticed is to be subtle and suggestive.

• Creating drama. This is the absolute worst one. Some women feel like they need to turn a simple point into something big and important. They go about this by arguing about it or turning it into a conflict. Clearly it says to a man that you’re insecure if you become off balance with the little things. It might seem odd, but dating a few men casually will also trigger major ATTRACTION in the men around you. By not being intimate with the men you’re dating and letting them subtly know you’re open to dating other men and doing the choosing here, you’ll send a strong message that you have standards and a man must meet them before you’ll settle down with him. This creates a unique kind of respect mixed with desired if a man knows that he can’t just

have you. Stupid I know, but that’s the deal. If you’re dating this way, don’t be surprised if several men who didn’t pay that much attention to you before become instantly intrigued by you.

But what if you’re uncomfortable with dating several men or can’t find dates to help you find out what kind of guy would be best for you? In that case, you can do something similar and almost as useful without ever having to date—kind of like imaginary dating. Do it by taking the men you already know that are around you, like your friends and family (don’t get weird here on me!) and run their qualifications through your mind against your “ideal perfect man”.

Pretend you’re sitting in front of someone and analyze the man’s qualities and how they would play out with you in a relationship. What? You don’t have a picture of your ideal man!? Don’t make that mistake. If you’re dating and you don’t have a clear idea of what you’re looking for, then you’re likely to pick any guy who moves you, but it won’t mean that he’ll fit well with you in the long run. Trust me.

You need to create a psychological and physical picture in your mind of your ideal man. So sit down right now and make a list off the top of your head about your perfect guy. And don’t worry about making it too realistic, it’s just a guide for you for the future.

Answer the following about your perfect man:What’s his personality like? Is he laid-back, intense, nurturing, motivating, gentle, or “manly” etc?” What are the things he enjoys doing the most? What does he value? (intelligence, physical prowess, money, family, freedom…) How does he treat and interact with people around him? (family, friends, ex’s…) Where is he at in his professional life? What does he look like, and how does he interact with you physically? What’s his dating history? Where does he see himself in the future? When you fill in the answers here you’re getting in touch with your own honest expectations about the man you’d like to be with. Not recognizing and verbalizing your expectations can spell pain and frustration if you’re looking to get involved with a man but don’t address this stuff, at least in your own mind. Get in touch with your expectations and don’t sell yourself short, it’s your future, your heart and your love life. Writing down these answers also does more than help you clarify your expectations. It also helps you to “anchor” your beliefs and desires in your mind. You’ll start to see these as your requirements in a man, which can only raise the bar to better things. And as hard as it might be to believe, the more you think about these things, the more they become reality for you. Ah… the power of thought and intention.

The most successful women I know will tell you that they are only successful because they are able to accept ‘no’ and not take it personally. Again, unsuccessful Women take ‘rejection’ as a personal assault on their inner child. Don’t make this mistake.

Make a man wait for sex. Nearly every man I know, even the “players”, have a common theme among all the women they’ve dated seriously. The woman made sure that things moved slowly and that sex did not come before deeper levels of attraction and intimacy were built. Making a man wait for physical intimacy or sex is a MUST DO if you want the option for anything serious in the future. To be more direct: The longer a man waits and courts a woman before he gets to spend lots of time around her and share physical intimacy, the higher the odds are for him to want and desire a successful long term relationship with her. Don’t be afraid to make a man wait to be physical with you. If he’s serious and ready, then the longer you both wait, the better the odds are for your success in the future.

It’s the BIG SECRET men never want women to know. I’ve asked hundreds of men about this directly and they all agree reluctantly: the more a man has to work for what he wants in a woman, the more he will value her. So the more time you can spend with a man dialing up his attraction for you and pushing his buttons for wanting a long term relationship before you get too deep into things, the better the odds are for your future together.

Here’s exactly how to do this…Say, “I will only keep seeing you right now if this is going somewhere and you aren’t seeing anyone else, because I’m not and I don’t want to waste my time.”When you say this to a guy, there’s an unconscious button that’s pushed in his mind that basically tells him and instills the belief that “this is a respectable and desirable woman who has the ability and the strength to pick and choose what happens in her life and with men, so I better make good of the situation”

Well, I found something amazing that a few smart women know about. Men have a secret button that you can push. When you push it, you’ll find out what really thinks and feels about ANYTHING you want to know about. The truth is that you both need to share your true desires and intentions. If you’re not working from the same song sheet then you’ll never be in tune. Bad communication is the single biggest reason why situations with men and women fail.

It’s up to you to get a man’s fears out of the way so you can get to the bottom of things.

Step 1) The Primer Start a conversation with him on a fun, positive note. Maybe tell him a story about something you both enjoyed in the past, or compliment him on something you know he prides himself on. But make sure you give him some sort of “ego stroke”. And I’m not saying that you should praise a guy if he doesn’t deserve it, but if you’re interested in a future with a guy there’s got to be something real that you appreciate about him, right? Complimenting him and telling him that you’re happy and content with how things are with him right now will put him into a receptive state and create an open and positive context for everything that follows. This is the "starter" for the conversation that will build an entirely positive context

Step 2) Casual Introduction, This is the first step into "where things are going". But instead of springing "the talk" on him like most women do, keep talking about positives, the good things, the things you want to continue that are WORKING. If you don't have too many of these things, think harder. If you can't come up with too much positive stuff that you've done recently or that you've both enjoyed, you might want to think about that and the timing of your "talk". Is this the right time and the right place?

Step 3) Applying Positive Strokes Then tell him, “It’s great because I bet you and I see things differently, but I love spending time with you and we have such a great time together”.

Step 4) Non-Situational HonestyTell him, “You know, I’ve known for a long time that I want a relationship that (explain your ideas about what would make a great relationship for you here) Avoid doing this because if you make this mistake it will change the ENTIRE nature and context of the conversation, and odds are the guy will change his mood, it will close his desire to listen and share with you in half a second flat.

Step 5) Active ListeningListen to the conversation without any resistance. When you do this, men instantly sense it and become more caring, more attentive, and more interested in what YOU want. Best of all for you, they will talk MUCH more honestly about where they’re at and what they want.

There are three things you have to bear in mind here…

1. NEVER think that you're not worthy or deserving of love!2. NEVER think that you're incapable of anything. It doesn’t matter how difficult or unattainable that objective seems to be at the moment. Don’t let it limit your potential!3. ALWAYS think beyond what you think you can achieve.

Hope and optimism has kept us alive all the way through. And, when you’re hoping that a man will fall in love with you, it will be optimism that will ILLUMINATE your path.

In the Oxford Dictionary, it is defined as; Optimism (n): hopefulness and confidence about the future or the success of something .In our situation, and context, when we're optimistic, we're hopeful that people will love us. And that they'll appreciate and accepts for who and what we are :-) Do you think and believe that those things will end up happening to you dove? Or are you apprehensive about acceptance? If you harbor any such apprehensions within yourself, then these apprehensions will MANIFEST themselves outwardly as well. Moreover, if you don’t have the ideal level of confidence within, men will sense it.

"Like attracts like." If you think positive lovely, then positive things are going to happen to you. If you believe staunchly that something good will happen, then everything around you will align itself in such a way that these things start taking shape. That’s the power of the law of attraction.

The First Date

So, you've won the chance for a first date with him Congratulations dove! But now, what do you do? What do you do to ensure this date goes well and things hit off between the two of you?

Here are some first date tips;

1. Agree on a location where both of you would be comfortable. Most people try to impress their first date partners by selecting the most important place on the list. This is not necessary. If you go to a five star restaurant and are more worried about the right way to sit, what fun is there going to be on your first date? Instead, go to a place where you can both be at ease - and can just look forward to spending time with each other.

2. At the same time, a little bit of entertainment on your first date can be a good idea, especially if you don't know a man well. These things can be an icebreaker; going on a bowling date or even on a movie date. Discussing the movie at the end of a date can be a great conversation starter between the two of you.

3. Don't overdress. It can make a bad impression on a man and you shouldn't be appearing as overeager. Be your own casual, natural self, but at the same time, do take the effort to select a becoming outfit. Furthermore,if you're used to dressing sexily even on your normal days, avoid that on your first

date. Don't dress provocatively! That might also be sending the impression that you're only looking for a sexual encounter.

4. Ensure the conversation is flowing. there can be a few moment of silence, but avoid those awkward pauses. You should also plan topics of conversation for the date beforehand. That way you won't be stuck for something to talk about. However, there are some things you need to avoid talking about on your first date.

Don't talk about exes or the problems in your life. You don’t want to saddle a near stranger with your job travails either! Don't speak about things that a man may have a strong opinion about, like the tax system in your state for example. Speak on NEUTRAL topics, topics that you're sure will be good for conversation and not too polarizing.

5. Don't expect too much from a man on the first date. Don't judge him too harshly; he may be just as nervous as you are. If he's slipping up, chances are that you're slipping up too. In fact, you should do your best dove, to make the guy feel at EASE.

6. Pay attention to your date. Don't get distracted. Don't think too much about what food to order, what movie to watch etc. Your attention should be focused on spending QUALITY time with the guy you're with - unless he's not what you want 7. When parting, be casual. Don't force a second date; both of you'll need some time and space to process whether you want to see each other again; it's in both of your best interests. Moreover, should you kiss a man on a first date? I normally wouldn't recommend this, but I'm not going to try and stop you either! That definitely depends on how well the date went and if there was any chemistry between the two of you.

2) Respect yourself enough to KNOW that you can be enough for this one man FOREVER. Once YOU have this confidence, you will start to see him change, and you will attract something completely different in a man. And if you are single, you will attract a completely different kind of man.

Here are the 3 things you should NEVER do if you want him to fall in love with you.

1) Confess that you have deep feelings for him or that you are in love with him.2) DON'T Offer to help him.3) Try to look sexy just to get him to be ina relationship with you.

Mistake #1 - Trying to please the guy and looking to him for approval: Of course you have. And I'm sure you've noticed that the more you "try to please" a man, the further you will push him away.

Mistake #2 - Trying to Appeal to Him sexually, rather than appealing to him emotionallyMistake #3 - Buying Gifts for Him to Try to Get Him to Like You MoreMistake #4 - Not Knowing How to Capture A Man's AttentionMistake #5 - Choosing Men Who Are Unlikely to CommitMistake #7 - Projecting Poor Confidence, Low Value Body Language

These beliefs or “mindsets” trigger a very powerful response in a man. It tells him that this is a woman who is self-assured and knows what she wants and how to get it. These beliefs also communicate that the woman is “higher status” and thus naturally compel a man to think she’s unique and someone worth his time and attention. In other words, these are the “attitudes” a woman projects which make her irresistible to a man. It’s what a woman is saying without actually saying it at all. She says it with her body language, with the way she carries herself and the way she behaves inside a relationship.

They’re BELIEFS because a woman actually believes these to be true about herself and her life. You can’t just “wing it” unfortunately. Here are just a few:I don’t let a man determine what I want/will  have in my love-life. This kind of woman won’t “settle” for a man who isn’t giving her what she wants and needs, emotionally.I’d move on and leave a man before I’d let him ruin my life. This woman won’t stay in a relationship that’s abusive, degrading or morally questionable. She also won’t put up with bad behavior from a man.  Integrity and trust are important to her, and she lets him know that.I wouldn’t keep a man from doing the things he enjoys. She knows that her man is an adult who has the right to make his own choices. She respects his “freedom” and his need to pursue his goals and dreams.

The ONLY two things that make Quality Men Chase you are:1) Your Feminine Energy.2) Being a High Value, High Status Woman.

KNOW that you have 1,000 men waiting to meet you. Whenever you find yourself feeling discouraged, or feeling taken for granted, or desperate or feeling insecure in your love life - Ask yourself: "what would I do if 1,000 men were standing outside my door right now, waiting to meet me?" Because this is the truth. There are 1,000 men out there waiting, to meet you. You just don't want to believe it yet. Because by not believing it, you feel like you can protect yourself. See, the truth is NOT that you have to cling on to the first

man who shows signs that he thinks you are beautiful, or who shows signs that he MIGHT commit.

This is the mindset that actually makes you overly clingy and needy, and drives men away. Don't do what I did 8 years ago. You have options. I don't care how old you are, how hurt and closed off you are to men because of past hurts, you have options. Men who are willing to commit to you are everywhere, everywhere. And if you are not willing to believe that, fine. The best men will be reserved for the women who do think of themselves this way.

Here's What Really Makes Him Fall for You (Hint: It's Not What You Think)

1. He Wants A Woman He Feels Intensely Attracted To (In The Right Way)

There's nothing more appealing (and attractive) to a man than a great woman who knows how to relax and have fun. Keep things light from the beginning. For instance, instead of talking about what he does for a living when you meet him, ask him about what sports he likes and what drives him. Be open to going on different types of dates with him. Unpredictability keeps the attraction going - for both of you.

2. He Wants a Woman Who's Playful

It's not your words that make a man attracted to you; it's the experiences you create with him. Watch or play sports together, be competitive in casual games like ping pong - even add a little teasing and sarcasm here and there - and you'll really ramp up the attraction and interest.

3. He Wants A Woman Who's Independent

Mane’s attracted to a woman because she ALREADY creates her own happiness, independent of him. She has a great life and a sense of purpose whether or not she's in a relationship.

4. He Wants A Woman Who's Emotionally Mature

How a woman handles her emotions is one of the most important things men look for when deciding whether or not to get serious with a woman.

Relationship Tool of the Week – Bring Him Close with Your Inner Drama Queen

   If you sometimes feel like your man has all the Power in your relationship, and you feel almost desperate to get your strong sense of yourself back, I learned something very valuable (the hard way). If you’re at all like me, you value being “nice,” being “liked,” and being “well thought of.” So, if you’re like me – being a “Drama Queen” is just out of the question.Well, that’s all nice and good, wanting to be “mature” and “well

spoken” and “thoughtful,” but for most of us, all that “carefulness” and “political correctness” gets us to the same place – pushing our men away! How can that be? How can we push a man away by being “nice” and “mature”?Well, as I’ve known, valuing “nice” and “mature” over AUTHENTIC can just kill a man’s love for you. And it’s not because there’s something so wrong with “nice.” It’s because sometimes our “nice” is just not REAL. Because we value being liked more than being Authentic, we can stuff down our feelings.

I still struggle with this – and as aware as I am about it, it still always surprises me when I choose the “high road” – choose to let something that’s bothering me go rather than speaking up about it. These are the moments when my inner Drama Queen can actually HELP!

So – what does YOUR inner Drama Queen look like?Is she so not welcome inside you that you’d do almost anything to not let her out? Are you so afraid she’ll turn you into a raging Drama Queen out there in the world that you push her down and try to keep her covered up? Well, the one thing I know is that if you don’t love your inner Drama Queen, and instead resist her as much as you can – that’s when you actually DO turn INTO a Drama Queen.

It’s as though the fight to keep her from taking over makes her squeak by you so you end up acting like a Drama Queen anyway. Only – instead of YOU GUIDING her, so that her words come out THROUGH YOU, in Feeling Messages instead of attacks, and so her feelings inspire a man to HELP you instead of run from you – she comes out without your consent and without your control.

Your inner Drama Queen just jumps out and splatters all over everything. It’s those moments when we do or say something we wish we hadn’t.And then you remember the moment when you first felt angry or upset and didn’t say anything about it when it happened – and you KNOW that if you’d just spoken out – authentically and truthfully in that moment, you wouldn’t have turned into a Drama Queen just now. So – love your inner Drama Queen. Loving her and embracing her will make it possible for you to avoid ACTING like a drama queen.

Let her speak to you. Let her say what’s on her mind. Let her into your heart, feel her feelings and use YOUR WORDS to say what’s going on inside you. You can do this. Your Drama Queen on the inside can make you calmer and easier on the outside. Your Drama Queen on the inside can help you stand up for yourself and be stronger. So – talk to her. Ask her what her name is. Ask her if she’ll help you be stronger, more direct, authentic, and VULNERABLE.

Try this Tool and see if you feel a little lighter, a little more in step with yourself – I know that I did. In my Toxic Men program, I have a whole section on getting to know and embracing your inner “Stranger” – this will help you so much to stop attracting and being attracted to toxic and difficult men. just listen to your inner Drama Queen instead of shutting her up, and see what she has to offer you – and let me know how she helps you.

Quick Tool to Soften Yourself Up   What if you could say what you feel to a man without getting nervous, anxious, and all tied up in knots? And what if he could hear your feelings without shutting off and ignoring you or belittling you? You can and he can, and it all starts with knowing WHAT YOU feel.Try this simple Tool: ROLL YOUR SHOULDERS

1. Wherever you are right now, stop for a second, put your arms down by your sides, and notice where your shoulders

are. Usually, the tightness in our shoulders is the easiest place to notice and release tension and resistance, so first, just notice if your shoulders are up high, if there’s stiffness in your arm – just NOTICE.

2. Now, instead of putting your shoulders back, military style, ROLL them outward, so that the palms of your hands follow along and end up facing forward. Be sure you roll from your shoulders, and not by just turning your hands or your arms (if you’re very tense, you’ll naturally try to do this from your hands and arms instead of from your shoulders – so stay aware).

3. Notice how your shoulders now naturally soften down? This is a great first start towards feeling your feelings.4. If you notice a stray feeling creeping up from your stomach as you roll your arms – GREAT!

5. Try to identify the feeling as either “sad, mad, glad” or “afraid.” (When I do this, the first thing I feel is usually sadness – we’ll talk more about where

these feelings come from and what they’re about, but for now – just notice and try to put a simple description to the feeling.) And that’s it!

Let me know how Rolling Your Arms works for you (oh…though you’ll find so many body-related Tools in all my programs — I was asked specifically about this, so…my full “Body Dialogues,” where I walk you through a process I learned long ago to get yourself into a beautiful relationship with your body, is in my Heart Connection Toolkit) — it’s such a simple thing to do, and very often, our shoulders are the key to unwinding all the tension in our bodies

and clearing up our “vibe.”

Relationship Tool of the Week – Paint Yourself in Love    So many of you have told me that this Tool, Paint Yourself has created a breakthrough for you And so I wanted to

reprint it here .If you’re feeling insecure and anxious right now in your relationship – like at any moment it could tip over and all the juice could run out of it…I totally understand and have some real help for you. When this used to happen to me, when a man who seemed SO excited about me just sort of drifted away, I did the only thing I knew to do – I tried to make myself even more attractive to him. And the more I tried – the sexier I made myself look and act, the nicer I was – and the more “reasonable” I was – it seemed to push him away even more.

I remember being shocked when a man who all my friends thought of as “beneath me” – who’d never had a serious relationship, who told me himself how amazed he was that I even “liked” him – all of a sudden one evening told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore. He couldn’t explain – there were no reasons. It was as though he were “opting out.”And then – within the week – he wanted to be friends, made “friend” dates with me, came over to my apartment – and tried to have SEX with me! I’d never been more confused in my life. I clearly knew nothing about men then. I had ATTRACTED him – but in only a PHYSICAL way.

In an emotional way, I’d repelled him. It took me years and years to understand what that was all about (and to realize how lucky I was that he’d shown me his true colors so early in the relationship), and though I’m so glad that never worked out, I know now what I might have done and not done that would have made me FEEL so much better, and that would have turned the tables so I was the one with the choice, and not him. I know now the difference between a man being attracted to us physically, and him “liking” us or “admiring” or “appreciating” us – and him “were falling in love” with us.Now I know and can share with you exactly how to create an irresistibly magnetic way of being with a man that connects with him in his heart.

My Modern Siren program, new Tool that will help you get started on your way to drawing in every man you meet – including the one you may already be with. The Tool is PAINT YOURSELF IN LOVE – and it sounds kind of fanciful, but it’s actually very practical.Here’s what I was doing with this man that pushed him away, and what you’re likely doing that isn’t working for you:

I looked at him as a man I wanted and didn’t want to lose. I looked at him as HOLDING something I wanted. I looked at his face, his body, all of him – and I didn’t really see HIM – I only saw what it was I WANTED from him. And so I moved, thought, acted, spoke and felt FAST. It was as though every moment was a piece of my storybook idea of “relationship.”I had decided that since he was “beneath me,” he was EASY.

I thought that I could have whatever I wanted from him, because that’s what he said, and that’s what my FRIENDS said. But, truthfully, I didn’t believe it. I felt lower than low on the totem pole of life and love – and I just felt LUCKY to have him around at all. I was looking to him to make everything – including ME – Okay.Now, I want you to look at your man – in your imagination – and experience how you feel when you look at him.  Imagine he’s WATCHING YOU, and he’s Leaning Forward to you. Do you feel longing and pining? Is it like a clenching in your heart, a sort of silent begging him to stop all his nonsense and just make everything Okay? And can you feel your heart and your mind moving fast, trying to cut all the corners and just close the deal? Just get it all squared away, finalized – OKAY?

Well, it’s this energy that pushes a man away. And no matter how hard we try to keep it under control, it’s in our “vibe,” and he can feel it. Even if it’s not strong enough to actually push him away – it will KEEP him away. It will keep the relationship in a stuck place, where the ATTRACTION just isn’t strong enough to push him over the edge – into falling in love and feeling intensely devoted to you – forever. Creating this kind of attraction is sort of magical.

It requires you getting out of that mindset where your man holds some kind of “keys” to your happiness – and putting the keys in your OWN hands. And it requires an ATTENTION to DETAILS. So – here’s where “Painting” comes in – try this:

1. Take a cup of water and go outside to a tree, or a bush, or a flower, or a statue.

2. Now – you’re going to use your fingers for a “brush” – so dip your finger into the water, and then “Paint” the tree, or the flower or statue or the leaf,

with the water – very, very slowly and carefully – watching every single stroke you make, FEELING every single stroke you make, noticing every single tiny bit of the tree bark, or the flower petal, or the leaf.Go so slowly that you feel like you’re going in slow motion – and make sure you’re AWARE of every second that passes – and that ALL your attention is on the water going onto the tree, the flower, the piece of fruit hanging from a branch. Pretend the water is LOVE, and you’re painting this tree trunk, branch, fruit, flower, statue, with LOVE – exactly.

3. Now, imagine your man is standing in front of you. Put yourself in the Rori Raye Dance Position (to get walked through the Dance Position and how to use it everywhere, all the time so you’ll be an “Invitation” to your man, it’s in my Commitment Blueprint program):

…for now, Lean Back, open (“Unzipper”) your heart, arms down, palms out, focus on your pelvis, relax your shoulders, smile.Imagine him just STANDING THERE, smiling at you. Feel what you feel.Now –

4. Go to a mirror and while you’re watching your reflection in the mirror, Paint Yourself. Paint yourself exactly the way you did the tree trunk or the flower or leaf or statue. Touch yourself gently and lovingly, and experience each stroke as if it were magical. Pay attention to what you see and what you feel. Paint each hair, each tiny bit of your face, your shoulders, your whole naked body if you have the time.If you have only a short bit of time (please do this Tool often)- really focus in on the detail of one small part of you – your eyelashes, your forehead…your shoulder…your mouth.

Keep breathing, keep Leaning Back, keep stroking yourself slowly, carefully – each tiny detail. Pay attention to yourself – really get into this process of Painting Yourself with Love – moment by moment. Now…

5. Imagine your man, or an imaginary man is standing next to you. Imagine he’s watching you. Let him watch you slowly and lovingly Paint Yourself With Love. Imagine him standing there, smiling, leaning forward, and watching you Paint Yourself With Love – and imagine he is MESMERIZED (because he certainly would be if you were to Love Yourself like this in his presence in real life…) Now…

6. Carry this image and this experience around with you EVERYWHERE. Imagine yourself painting yourself WHEREVER you are – in the market, at the drugstore, in the restaurant – and EVERY MOMENT you’re with your man – and…this is important…

EVEN IF he’s not even looking at you, EVEN IF he seems to be distracted, EVEN IF you can feel yourself being jealous or upset or hurt by what he’s

doing or not doing. Imagine him WATCHING you Paint Yourself With Love, and imagine EVERYONE in the place ADMIRING you for Painting Yourself. Imagine everyone wanting to touch you and stroke you or take out a brush and Paint You With Love.

How does that FEEL?What makes this Tool so powerful is that it’s so SPECIFIC. It’s something you can imagine in great DETAIL, and that you can experience emotionally. So – how will this make you more attractive to him on a deep, emotional level? Because a man is NOT INTERESTED in experiencing you loving HIM, He’s interested in experiencing you loving YOURSELF when HE’S loving YOU!He’s completely captivated by a woman who is so trusting of him, so open to him, that she could experience her deepest pleasure when she’s with him. And this is what you want to do.

You will wrap him around your little finger, and activate your powerful Inner Siren if you can LOVE YOURSELF in HIS PRESENCE. He will be “blown away,” and never, ever want to step away from you. If you’d like to know how this works, and be walked through the most powerful Tools imaginable to make this happen for yourself – try out my Modern Siren program.

You ARE a Siren.  We’ve all just forgotten that we are, and we’ve been sold a lie that we are somehow “lucky” to be chosen by a man. Nothing could be further from the truth. Even in a town where women outnumber men, as a Siren – you have absolutely NO COMPETITION at all.

Let me know how Painting Yourself with Love works – I love these kinds of Tools, and the moment I even begin to imagine Painting Myself, I can see the difference in my husband almost instantaneously. I just go all soft and surrender to myself, and he just walks over to me and starts stroking me like I’m a magnet. Let me know how it feels to be the magnet you truly already are…Love, Rori

Tool to Attract Love

   “This is completely random and off-topic but I just made up a Tool today that might help some women. I don’t know about most people, but I believe that the music you listen to has a huge subconscious effect on your emotional and mental programming. And if you listen –really listen to the lyrics of most of the songs on the radio these days, you’ll hear a lot of

women leaning forward, women pining after an imaginary relationship, and men generally being insufferable bastards who don’t know what they want but don’t want the woman they’re with.

So here’s what I did: I went through my ITunes library and made a playlist consisting ONLY of love songs sung by men who I felt were coming from a Masculine Energy, Leaning Forward place (the 1950’s is a great decade for that, btw)…and then just sat back and listened to it and pretended that every single one of the singers was singing to or about me.

It was amazing how hard that was at first –just to let in that energy and not tries to turn it back by singing along and turning MYSELF into the guy! And then I realized that it was in fact a deeply ingrained habit of mine to take some wonderful, manly love song and turn it around, make myself into the guy, and express those Leaning Forward emotions towards some imaginary man –or even towards some real man that I was pining after! how awful! And I also realized that I was, on a deep level, SCARED to let in all the wonderful loving masculine energy coming from the songs. But when I was able to do it, I felt so warm and open and free, it was amazing. Try it!, Reshi”

Okay – this is terrific.  I’m not organized with my music at all, so I SO appreciate this new Tool. Music is incredibly powerful – we listen to sad love songs all the time, remember songs we heard at particular points and places in our lives, connect music to all kinds of feelings, old and new. I don’t even have an ipod, so I can’t tell you how to organize your playlist, so if you have questions about how to do it, or suggestions of songs to offer, please let’s do that right here.

A Great Tool from Rosa – The Stop Sign

    It’s a valuable, wonderful Tool – and I decided to make it a “guest post.” Thank you, Rosa:I understand this feeling. This was me. I posted a long one for you last thread, here’s another. I feel bad that you are crying out for help and so I am offering some techniques of thinking to use on yourself. These thoughts are straight up, they are sent with love, you may not like them, but if you want change, here it is… This is an addiction. This is a habit which is harming you. You are addicted to feeling bad. You are a pining addict. Your brain is running loops that are self destructive. “He left me” ” I don’t want to live without him”etc etc … You will know what the thoughts are that trigger the emotion of loss, pain, hurt, fear etc and the tears. The loop will be so habitual you will be

able to state it clearly, in thoughts, then emotions, then actions. Here is a theoretical example:I think – I am alone I think – I am so lonely I think – I am lonely because he left me I think – I love him so much I think – He doesn’t want me. I think – y chest is a gaping hole I EMOTE – TEARS DEPRESSIONANGER HELPLESSNESS LONELINESS I do – nothing (inertia)- stay in bed I do – go to refrigerator I do – grab phone and text I do – call and corner himDo This:

1. make a list of your common thought triggers IN WRITING.

2. Every time you hear one in your head or see a pic of him in your head or you recall feeling sad etc.,.do the following. -lift your eyes up to the right.-see a BIG RED STOP SIGN,. Hold your eyes up right and count to 5.

3. Talk to yourself along these lines: It’s ok if a thought of him comes, its only a thought, it is a little loop in my brain and I have let it run too often so it is a cracked record. BUT I can just let it run. Its only a thought. I don’t have to DO anything. I don’t have to FEEL anyway particularly.I don’t have to cry and I don’t have to eat.

4. If you have an urge to cry or wail or eat or pine or LOOP AROUND, remind yourself you are blocking your future good and happiness and do something else… I usually jump up and down or flap both hands wildly or yell EEEEEEEE. I DO SOMETHING ELSE. When I do something else I break up the loop. Note – this does NOT remove good memories or change love feelings. It stops the secondary negative looping and sadness which is now a habit.5. You can’t let go because you don’t want to. I suspect you get satisfaction from the loop running in your brain like a smoker or a junkie gets satisfaction when the “I must light up now” loop is satisfied even if it’s killing them. When you want to you will start to recognize a loop when it starts. You will say  “Hi thought!!!~ I love my ‘I love him” thought but I am busy painting my nails just now and thinking of flowers or recipes or ANYTHING ELSE. I don’t wish to have a downhill feel bad spiral which will end in tears. I choose to smile and sing!”

Most of us , me anyway , are good at refueling the feelings with more and more thoughts in our own favorite pattern , setting up more and more big negative waves..Lets use the example of I NEED TO CONTACT HIM …a common thought/feeling craving Thought pattern goes- “oh but I miss him -> I have nothing to lose -> I feel so empty -> I may as well text him..->now i feel BAD ….. (and I damaged my self esteem as well, and now I feel WORSE , I am a loser …UUUUGHHHH)” You can do stop sign anywhere in the pattern that you catch yourself .. and it breaks down the pattern.

OR , just feel the feeling of missing him and wanting contact , know it will peak in a wave shape and will ebb away , and you don’t have to think or do anything about it .. Movement helps it pass faster often and singing something ridiculous. Hope this is a little clearer. These are principles of ACT therapy. I works great for me and I hope for someone else too.

The 3 Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Trying to Attract a Man   The 3 Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Trying to Attract a Man by Patty Contenta Through my research and personal experience, I’ve found 3 mistakes are responsible for women not being approached by men. The scary part is that this could be happening to you without knowing it.

Mistake #1: Standing With Your Legs Apart

A man likes to feel masculine, like he has mental and physical strength…regardless of his size.  The dominance that he tries to portray can be seen by the way he stands with his legs apart and chest lifted. His goal is to take up space to demonstrate power. So, when a woman stands with her legs apart, she’s taking a dominant role. She’s taking the lead and a very masculine man will avoid you because you’re confronting his stature without saying a word. A man is naturally attracted to a playful woman that oozes sensuality…something he is clueless about. He wants to sense an air of invitation so that if he takes a chance to approach you…you won’t reject him on the spot.

Mistake #2: Arms and Elbows Out

Many women make the mistake to speak with their hands or stand with their elbows out. Now this may seem trivial but remember a man wants to feel welcomed if he decides to approach you. And when your arms are flailing…a man WILL keep his distance. Being of Italian decent, speaking with my hands is a natural habit. In fact, it’s difficult for me to express myself without using my hands so I needed to make a conscious decision to slow down my speech so that my arms don’t take over. When my energy is high, my arms become active, when my energy is calm, my arms are relaxed.Let me make this even clearer for you. One day I was dancing a rumba in front of my coach. I was giving it my all, when he suddenly stopped the music and asked me, “Patty, do you love yourself?” That statement caught me off guard. I responded with, “Well, yes…but why do you ask?” At this point he moved in closer to me and in a gentle voice said, “A woman that loves herself touches her body, caresses her skin. Her arms should NOT be flailing around to draw attention to herself. The less you do, the more attractive it is.” From that moment on my dancing style changed.

I got it! I understood how to create a sensual look on the dance floor and then apply it off the dance floor. It was magical!

Mistake #3: Leaning Forward

Many women make the mistake of making the first move, leaning in to get his attention. Picture a woman having a conversation with a man, her body leaning forward so all he sees is her forehead coming at him.  It’s not a pretty sight…it’s actually intimidating. It can literally feel like an interrogation instead of a dialogue. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a man move towards you and have him wanting to tell you things that are on his mind without you trying to pull it out? It’s possible only if you lean back and relax into your chair. You see, when you keep your energy open by physically leaning back, he feels safe to speak. He relaxes into his own body, releases his tension and then can have a conversation from a calmer state. When anyone is feeling at ease, energy flows and our thoughts are more pure. Wouldn’t it be nice to captivate a man with your wits, charm and feminine energy and never worry about feeling stuck with the one man that comes your way for fear that no one else will approach you? Being aware of the signals your body language is sending is a key factor to being approachable. You cannot communicate…so why not transmit words like  “invitation, open, feminine”. These words are much more attractive to man than focus, drive and fearless.

The information in Patty’s website, and her “Sexy In Seconds” program is unusual, fresh, helpful, and confidence-building. I like “Tools” – meaning – something you can “DO” with your “boy” energy while you’re leaning back, listening, and being receptive in your “girl” energy – and Patty’s work is filled with Tools.  Her work is all about what we’re doing here – learning to “choose” a man instead of just take – as Patty says, “…the only one that’s available…”  You can find Patty here at www.SensualitySecrets.com.

Will You Fall Apart If You Don’t Think About Him

   I have a client, who like I was many years ago, is brokenhearted and obsessed with the man who pulled away from her and hurt her. I know you’ll identify with her story, because it takes to an extreme something we all do. This client (I’ll call her Joanne) is a fabulous person

– as I know you are – and sometimes that makes everything even MORE CHALLENGING!

And when we’re a good woman – it’s challenging to tell the difference between being a good, caring human being and being a controlling, over functioning, needy human being because giving to someone else, even thinking ABOUT someone else is the best way we learned to survive

emotionally. Most of us were so taught that it’s better to give than receive, and most of us have lived with and known narcissistic people who demanded much of us, who only seemed to love us when we were taking care of THEM – physically, emotionally, and spiritually – that we can’t even feel whole unless we do that.

When we’re stressed – we go to giving. When we’re afraid – we go to obsession. I’m very big on redoing dreams and gaining “mastery” over certain things. Basically redoing things in our imaginations…but NOT in order to gain control over them or feel “closure” around them – but to sink down into the feelings we’re hiding from and TWEAK our thinking and actions for next time.

There’s a big difference between the work we do as part of the process of HEALING ourselves – and what we do that actually STOPS our progress. If, when you feel afraid or angry or guilty – you go to worrying about or trying to “fix” another person you are going to your “default.” You are going to your “defense” against what you REALLY, most DEEPLY feel. I want to really lay this out – You are not defending against HIM, and what you’re afraid HE might do (you can just stay AWAY from him for that) – you are defending against YOURSELF. You are entering into war with yourself. You are literally bumping up against yourself. So – when you start to obsess about a man – for WHATEVER reason) – see if what I’m telling Joanne works for you:“Rori, I am still having continuous thoughts about him sinking and escalating into his addiction. Joanne” Joanne’s long-time man drifted away from her, and then suddenly started acting “peculiar.” He left her and went back to an “ex” who was bad news all around, An abusive, difficult woman. And there he stays…while barely maintaining a friendship with Joanne. There are other things in play here…but I wanted to make this as general and universal as possible.

Essentially – your man leaves you and gets involved with a horrible woman. And stays there, even though he says he loves you, even though he visits and hangs out, even though he calls. Until he stops calling and you feel even worse than before. You are torn between hating him and worrying about him being with this horrible woman, and perhaps drinking, and even worse.You become obsessed with thinking about him and how you could have averted this tragedy. You want to know what you did wrong – and you want to know what happened to HIM. Pretty soon you’re feeling like an angel of mercy, and you want to save him from himself and return him to his normal, reasonable, responsible, loving-you self. Only he isn’t cooperating.Eventually – this backfires on you. Eventually – you become consumed with attempting to control other people’s lives in order to stay stable yourself. It’s as though you will lose yourself if you can’t control and help them. This would work for you if you were a nurse, or in animal rescue, or the red cross

But this will not work in everyday, regular human relationships, and definitely not romantic love.

And what we want to do is to allow you to sink – without it feeling bad. There’s no way to do this without you going through some periods where you feel “selfish” – and feel guilty and bad about that. There’s no way to go through this without connecting with your anger – and that’s going to bounce you back to this “helping and including” defense. Peeling back layers of trauma reaction can be chaotic. You are feeling chaos now, and so you’re falling back on what you know – obsession with helping someone and controlling them, and making them be what you want them to be.

How to “Approach” A Man Without Leaning Forward Or Investing In Him   

Here’s the guest post I promised you from one of the men on this blog, Terrence Thames. I asked him to talk about ways to “approach” a shy man without “Leaning Forward” or feeling bad because you’re investing in him so quickly.  He writes:When guys approach, typically they incur the majority of the risk of rejection from the interaction. They have to put themselves out there. However, in my opinion, I believe that women approach WAY more than men do

already. Probably at a 90/10 split. They just do it very subtlety. And they don’t do it by walking up. So let’s get into what women can do to approach while minimally investing. These are in order of least investment to most investment.

1. Positive body language- Obviously the most natural form of approaching and the least invested that you can get. This will be the core of this post. The most obvious form would be a smile and a long gaze (2-5 seconds). Any less than that would not be enough to let the typical guy know that it is ok to approach. I would look away first then LOOK BACK. Any time I see a woman look back at me after holding a gaze, I know, that I should approach, if I’m interested. I have trained myself that if a woman looks at me for 2 seconds, I ASSUME attraction is there and at least go meet her. I am not shy though. As guys get more confident in approaching they won’t need the look back for them to approach. I believe that shy guys need this.

2. Wear something conversation worthy- If you want more guys in general to approach you (not just shy guys) then wear something that allows space for a man to comment or compliment you on it. Most shy guys are shy generally because they just don’t know what to say to women even if they do get the courage to approach. If they have something to say or talk about then the

likely hood of him approaching is much higher. Synergistically this works well in compliment with body language and presence (displaying your femininity) to draw men into you.

3. Positioning- If you don’t want to walk up to him. Position yourself BY HIM. You are not actually approaching him but it will be easier for a shy guy to start a conversation if you are physically around him to begin with. You can experiment with combining using your body language (playing with hair, crossing legs towards him, exposing of the neck, etc..) and eye contact with being around him for a much more synergistic effect. A lot of times when I am out and I make eye contact with a woman in one area and I go about my business and then notice a few minutes later she is really close in my proximity or all of a sudden brushes up against me, I ASSUME attraction and approach, if I’m interested. This is amplified with positive body language.

4. Situational or Help approaching- This in my opinion seems to be the most invested you can become without feeling masculine. If you are asking about something that involves your surroundings or asking for help (don’t go overboard with this)..Then I have no reason to feel that you are over-invested. (I.e...”Do you have the time?”). Again while doing this make sure your body language is open to them.

5. Just saying Hi- This is equal to #4 as the most invested you should have to go without questioning a shy guy’s presence or attractiveness to you. By this point you have done all you can do and it is up to him to sink or swim.

Posture from the CorePosture can reveal much about your mood, your attitude, the day you’re having – as well as give hints to others about what you’d like to have happen next. Your body probably passes through more postures throughout the day than you realize, so it’s important to establish one healthy startingposture that you can return to.

The moves in this book will only work once your basic posture is well aligned. You radiate sensuality from your core only when a good body line is in place. So, to begin, stand in front of a full-length mirror with all the lights on. Notice how you look and ask yourself the following questions:

-Are your shoulders back? If not, lift your shoulders and roll them back so they can sit in your shoulder blade sockets. It may feel like your chest is sticking out.-Is your head leaning forward? If so, lift your chin and pull it back slightly until you feel your spine in line.-Are your legs apart? They should be about hip distance apart in order to have a better sense of balance.

-How are your feet positioned? You must feel your weight distribution over the whole foot. People tend to have too much weight on the front half of the foot. You should feel you toes relaxed on the floor, without tension.-Are your arms hanging lifeless by your side? If so, place them close to your body, gently touching your hips.-Are you holding your abs? Your abdominal muscles should be slightly contracted to create a straight lower back.-Are you radiating your core? I spent some time learning the EMF Balancing Technique (a technique used to access universal energy through your core), which I use every day. “Center below, center above, radiate core.” After repeating these words, I would instantly ground myself, lengthen my spine and visualize a beam of light going through me… It’s magical! If you’d like to learn more about EMF, I recommend the book, Elegant Empowerment (see the recommended reading list at the end of this book.)

Mentally run through the above checklist each time you walk into a room, because positive energy flows better when your body is aligned. You should feel no tension in your lower body and a release in your neck and back.In ballroom dancing, the way you stand will affect the way you dance. It’s the one thing all dancers are constantly working to improve. I always give thought to posture right before walking out onto the dance floor. Impeccable posture provides you with the foundation to move on to the other secrets.

Walk SultryConfident people are not in a hurry. They are not forceful, nervous or jumpy. They are stable, centered and composed. Be aware of how you walk. Even when you are on a deadline, achieve your goal with ease and grace.

Let men be aware of the powerful sensuality that emanates from your lowerbody as you take steps. From the moment I would start walking out onto a dance floor, the judges were already making an assessment of how I would dance. That’s why I had to work on my entrance. Even the “down time” between dances is important. I had to remain sensual and confident in my carriage whenever eyes were upon me.

Similarly, men will assess your sensuality by how you walk. While they are sure to notice how you approach them, the real scrutiny often comes on your caboose as you saunter off to the powder room. So don’t rush it – work it. You want him to watch you for as long as possible.

In general, people tend to lean forward and walk with their head and chest ahead of their body. Try this… When walking forward, lead from the hips! Itshould feel like your weight is on your heels. Imagine a strong wind blowingagainst your lower back. That’s where your power lies, where your energyshould be. I call it “ass power.” With every step I take, my buttocks kick in.You can actually hear the strength of your step in the sound that’s produced

when your feet make contact with the floor. In this position, your arms willsway naturally. Be sure not to swing your arms too much, allow for smooth and effortless movement. With every step you take, allow yourself to settle into each hip slowly, deliberately and calmly. Put your “back power” into good use. With every step I take, my trapezius muscles kick in. When I step with the left leg, the left trapezius muscle squeezes, Repeat the process with the right side.

Move with purpose, yet take your time so that you always look poised andin control. Another faux pas that women commit is walking with their legs too far apart. You must get used to rubbing your inner thighs when you walk, but only slightly, of course. Pretend that you’re wearing a girdle or tight skirt to reduce the width and length of your steps. This does not mean crossing one leg in front of the other. We are not trying to do the runway model walk.

Keep your eyes from wandering too much. Focus on who you’re approaching, whether it’s one person or several people. Don’t let your chin drop! Be cool, relaxed and smiling, with your eyes focused.

Entrancing EntranceEntering a room is crucial time that you can use to create quite an impact. How many times do you walk into a room? Pretty often, I would say, so make it significant. As short as an entrance may seem, initial impressions set a lingering tone, so make yours sensual from the moment you arrive.Here’s how:

Before you walk into a room, take a moment – maybe a deep breath – to be sure you are radiating your core. Think of bringing positive energy into theroom. Make sure everyone gets a good view of you standing confidently by the door. Once you get past the doorway, leisurely scan the room and pretend you’re looking for someone.

Make eye contact with the people closest to you and smile (both men and women). It’s fine if they don’t smile back because, in a crowd, no one knowswhom you’re truly smiling at, right? Use your sultry walk to enter the room, but not too fast. It’s possible to take the room by storm while exhibiting restraint!

Try to go toward the center of the room, if the route is plausible and not too much of a detour, before veering off toward your final destination. You’ll give everyone a good look that way!

In competitive dancing, the announcer calls out each couple individually so they can present themselves properly to the judges and the audience. As you watch each couple make their five-second entrance, many impressions come to mind – confidence, arrogance, insecurity, humbleness, sensuality.

So my partner and I practiced our entrance regularly to avoid any moments of instability and uncertainty.

Be aware of your body and self-talk before you walk into a room because thoughts can also be apparent. With practice, an increased awareness of themuscles involved in sultry walking will make you comfortable with the seductive power of your lower body when all eyes are upon you. Your walkshould start flowing with a force that demands attention. Own the ground you walk on… And you’ll have them eating out of the palm of your hand!

Here are the three sensual stances a woman can use to get a man to approach her once she has zeroed in on him.

First Sensuality PositionIn this first position, the message is, “You’ve caught my eye.” She shows that she is receptive to being approached by standing in a way that reads from across the room. She glances his way, then looks away… Faces him, then faces another direction… She’s present, then detached – as if she is adrift, restlessly in search of an anchor. To achieve this stance, place your feet in ballet’s third position: left heel against the instep of the right foot.The left knee should be bent while the right knee is straight. This creates slight hip action, leaning into the right hip. Be sure to keep the legs tight with no space between them, periodically shifting your weight from one foot to the next, causing a gentle friction between your thighs. Your arms should be by your sides and gently pressed against the thighs. For the final touch,pull your elbows back to create an arch of the lower back and slight forwardpress of the chest.

Second Sensuality PositionOnce he knows you’ve noticed him, and vice versa, it’s time to start zeroingin without coming on too strong. Now it’s time to keep your body facing his, engage in more regular eye contact and start working your hands. Begin touching yourself “unconsciously” in slow, caressing movements. Slowly lift your left hand along the left thigh and stop at the hipbone for a while. Then continue to move and gently caress your neck with your middle finger. Be sure to tilt your head to expose the neck.

Third Sensuality PositionPoint your right foot to the side while leaning into your hip and allow your left hand to go down your thigh by going behind your back. Then clasp both hands behind your back to show openness. The Three Stances of ConnectionYou’re warming up to the notion of talking to him, and he should start to sense that. Smile in his direction and let him approach – or approach him if you feel comfortable doing so.

As initial small talk begins, if the chemistry works, let your body show that you are increasingly enrapt. Show him that nobody else matters. But, at the same time, try to calm him. Move increasingly closer to a point where yousense that you’re both comfortable. When you are relaxed, initiate light contact on his extremities. After touching him on his elbow, for example,touch your upper chest. This creates physical circuitry between you.I must emphasize that all of these stances must be done slowly with fluidity.Practice in front of a full-length mirror so that you can see where you getstuck and look awkward. Your movement should flow and seem natural, yetonly we know that it’s done deliberately.

A dance coach once told me that as a transition from one move to the next, “It should feel like oil is dripping over your body.” How fast would it move? Does it ever stop moving? How would it feel? How would you react to such a feeling? Imagining this image might help you to experience the fluidity of sensuality as you shift about in movements and gestures.

Move Ahead Sitting StillCongratulations, you’ve tried the different stances. Now we’ll look at sitting. Please keep in mind while doing these exercises that we are working from the outside in to gain sensuality, so don’t give up! The strangeness you feel in your body now will subside. You may feel corny…I know I did when I first started, but that feeling will change and, at that moment, things will cometogether. Let’s begin… Much of dating and business is transacted in a seated position, so it’s important to be aware of your sensual power in a chair. Let me guide you through a sensual sitting session… Sit up straight against the back of your chair. Depending on the design of the chair, you may or may not wish to touch the chair’s back. Just remember to keep your spine vertical and your shoulders back. And everything else should fall into place.

The Copy Cat TechniqueHere are some things to look out for and mirror:• Head tilts, nods, facial expressions• Tone of voice, volume, speech, rhythm of voice• The angle of his body• How he holds his wine glass• How his arms are outstretched towards you• How he touches himself• How much he leans into you• Whether he exposes his wrists (If so, expose yours to show openness.)The ideal time to mirror him is from five to 50 seconds after he has changedposition, so as not to look too deliberate. Be attentive and notice if he is inagreement with you.

You can also take control and subtly lead him into creating rapport withyou. Tilt your head first, lean into him first, move your wine glass out of theway so there is no barrier. See if he follows suit. Of course, you shouldn’t become preoccupied with copying every move he makes. Mirroring is simply another way to be attentive to the man. Watch, listen and connect with him. If he’s making a gesture or movement that might feel good for you, that may be an appropriate opportunity to mirror. Pay attention to subtleties to let your actions convey m ore than words ever could. Show him that you are following him, working from the same plan… And you may end up at the same place.

The Sensual Smile

From across a room, a toothy, white smile sure is noticeable. The best smile,However, is often not a big, broad smile but a pleasing, sensual smile. Don’tShow too much teeth. Keep your eyes relaxed. Practice in the mirror andamuse yourself with all the possible smiles you can produce. Start byteaching yourself to have a contented look on your face. If you want to bemore approachable, be generous with your smile.

Practice smiling with people who are safe, people you meet daily, such asthose at the grocery store, gas station or restaurant. While you’re at it, try to make their day – let your efforts inject a ray of sunlight into the encounter! If someone is in a bad mood, make a point of discreetly and indirectly changing his attitude. And if you believe that what goes around comes around, then you’ll find yourself receiving kindness from others.

Tool: Be His Heartbeat

Let's start with this Tool - Be His Heartbeat - and we'll start by being YOUR heartbeat!

1. Start with where you might be right now where you feel like you're giving your heart to a man who you're not quite sure deserves it. Imagine he's standing right in front of you, about 5 feet away...

2. Imagine that your heart is jumping out of your body and holding onto him.Now...

3. Put your hand on your heart.Let it jump around, but keep it, gently, inside your own body. Let it beat and thump, and let it WANT to go on over to the nearest man, but gently insist that it stay in your body and beat for YOU.

4. When you feel like you're hanging onto your heart......like it's going to stay inside your own body and beat for you, take the next step...

5. Open your heart to him.Okay, this may feel scary. It's supposed to.We're all so used to DOING stuff and GIVING love - we're not used to just keeping the love inside ourselves and just OPENING the door to our heart.Imagine the love in your heart that's beating for YOU - imagine it RADIATING out of your heart. Imagine it STAYING inside YOU, but radiating it's warmth out toward EVERYONE and EVERYTHING outside you.Now...

6. Feel the beat of your heart.Really feel it. Let the beat of it move through you and thrill you. Now...

7. Start moving.I want you to start swaying to the beat of your heart... while allowing it to stay open and radiating.Don't take the next steps until you feel comfortable doing this, and it feels like FUN! Just remember - hanging onto your heart, and keeping it inside your own body so it can beat for YOU is not the same as closing off your heart. Or keeping up a front or wall between you and a man in order to protect yourself.

It's just the opposite. It's about taking down all the walls, all the fronts, all the pretending, unzippering your heart, and, literally hanging onto your heart by keeping it in your OWN BODY!

Just keep imagining that your heart is in your own body, that it's open, and that everyone you meet is leaning toward you and radiating energy and love into your heart.

8. Now, while you're DANCING and moving to the beat of your heart, I want you to move forward a few steps, and then back a few steps.Feel how that feels. Keep imagining the man in front of you (the man you're involved with, or a man you imagine would be a good partner for you) - and move toward him as you dance, and then move away from him.Notice how you feel when you dance toward him.

It doesn't feel "right" does it? It feels like chasing, and trying to "get" something. And what does dancing AWAY from him feel like? Does it feel powerful? Can you feel the power of what you've already accomplished - keeping your heart inside your body so it can beat for YOU, opening your heart, and yet controlling who gets to be near you by moving and dancing forwards and backwards? This is an amazing thing, actually.

If you're not feeling good about a man, instead of closing down your heart - you can simply dance BACKWARDS! You can dance, with an open heart - AWAY from him. Experiment with this right now, and then try it out in the world. You'll feel so much relief and so much more power in yourself...

9. Now try moving and dancing side to side.See how much room there is to move? You don't have to move forward, toward a man - there are so many OTHER ways to dance!

10. Here's how to use this Tool when you're out in the world, in the presence of a man - talking to him in the drugstore, or sitting across from him at dinner, or in bed with him: If you don't like the energy that's coming at you - you don't have to put up a wall, just step backward or side-to-side.Put your hand on your heart. Feel how your heart is in your own body and under your own control. Let your heart sink into the warmth of your body and relax.

When you feel your shoulders, your chest, your heart wanting to lean out, toward him, stop yourself. When you feel your hands and arms want to reach for him, stop yourself. When you feel your words wanting to ask him for something or reach out to him, stop yourself.

Dance away from him, open your heart, open the palms of your hands outward to let in all the love he's giving to you (imagine he's giving to you even if you don't think he is) and imagine your heart beating strongly and calmly in your own body.

Imagine the warmth from your heart going all through your body. Imagine your breath going down to your pelvis and opening everything up. Imagine your heart staying inside your body, floating, giving off warmth to YOU.Keeping your insides, and your shoulders, and your belly and pelvis warm. Keeping you warm.

And once you feel warmth, altogether inside yourself - once you've truly become your own Heartbeat - you will AUTOMATICALLY draw in every man around you, and you will automatically be HIS heartbeat.It sounds so simple, and it is.

WAYS TO KEEP HIM ENGAGED AND OPEN1. Offer him something to hold, such as a drink, a book, a magazine, the newspaper, or something you’re holding that’s fairly interesting.With a child – you could give him or her a toy.

2. Mimic his body language, but not in a demeaning manner. Move in closer while still respecting personal space and gradually work into copying his closed body language. This can build a non--‐verbal bond. As he begins to relax his closed body position, you also begin to relax at HIS rate and comfort level.

3. Breathe with him. You can get him to slow down his breathing and relax and calm down vice guarding to breathe right along with him --‐--‐ at his pace. It's amazing how it happens, but as you breathe with him – as you sort of melt into his breathing pattern – you can begin to control both of your breathing patterns by slowly slowing your own breathing down. As you slow down, he will slow down. And as you then focus on relaxing YOUR body and all your muscles and tissues – HE’LL start to relax right with you. This is an amazing thing to practice when you're kissing or making love. At any moment you can get into sync with him through your breathing. Try it

anxiety cues”:1. Sweating, tension, rubbing back of the neck or other body parts

2. Sudden movements, body twitches, voice change and increase inspeed of speech

3. Chewing on the inside of his mouth, and shoving hands in hispockets or being “fidgety.”

4. A man, when lying, will often times try to hide his deception byattempting to gain control over his body language through forced smiles and exaggerated hand gestures. This may present as odd clumsy or jerky presenting movements.

5. His speech may seem hesitant in his attempt to slow it down because he’s thinking intensively about what to say next.

6. He may look distracted and avoid eye contact.

7. If standing, he may shift his weight

Confidence in yourself shows up in your body language as a womanthrough relaxation – and, believe it or not – it shows up when youallow yourself to give up personal authority and control. It shows up by the tension not appearing in your shoulders or in your belly. It shows when you’re not attempting to stretch yourself into a larger frame then you have. It shows up when you’re not leaning towards a man and trying to make something happen.

Your Smile Is The First StepA smile is something that radiates from within, telling the other person a lotabout your inner feelings. You can’t fake a sincere smile, which is probably why a man takes your smile as a genuine show of interest. If your top and bottom teeth show when you smile, you’re letting him know that you really do want to be available to him – and you’re doing it in a subtle way,without actively initiating contact with him at all!

Flirting Poses or GesturesRomantic body language from afar can even include sexual gestures –many of which might turn you off he he’s inappropriate and his timingis bad – but which he’ll most likely find attractive no matter how boldyou are

FROM AFARFrom afar, the first task of body language is to signal interest (and thento watch for reciprocal body language).

CLOTHINGHere’s the obvious – you and he both wear clothing that accentuatescertain parts of your bodies. This isn’t just about you wearing a plunging neckline or tight jeans – but about HIS tight jeans, and how his clothes show off his muscles, too.

Men are notorious for displaying acts of body language when it comesto pumping out certain muscles to make them appear bigger then whatthey really are. He might cross his arms with his hands under his biceps to push them out and make them look bigger. If he’s interested in you, he can flex his muscles all night if he has to...

Body language from afar can include:1. Batting your eyelashes.2. Preening.3. Coyness.4. Positioning yourself for optimal viewing.5. Seductive and/or sensual movements.When a man is feeling loving towards you, his entire demeanorchanges.

Hemay do any or all of the these:1. His entire body relaxes and opens2. His eyes soften and glow. They seem brighter, glistening, open3. His voice softens4. He smiles openly and genuinely5. He looks and feels happy

6. There’s an excitement evident in his being7. At the same time there’s a deep contentment8. He touches you lightly9. He caresses you lovingly10. He grabs you in a bear hug and kisses you deeply

Male body language will also let you know when he’s not the one. If aman doesn’t display any of the following signs, you're better off movingon to the next eligible bachelor.

Men will tell you all you need to know with their body language andnon--‐verbal gestures. Watch for the following flirting gestures:

He focuses on improving his appearanceHe practices signs of dominance and acts like an “alpha male”He maintains direct eye contactHe touches you directly or “accidentally”He hooks his thumbs into his belt loopsHis body and feet are turned towards youIf a man starts performing the above gestures, it’s a very good sign. Hopefully he has managed to capture your attention and show you he’sinterested.

EYESA woman who gives a man a lingering look is telling him that she is interested and would like to get to know him better. She may also hold a man’s gaze briefly, turning her body toward him. A slow turn of the head may be perceived by a man as an invitation to come closer.

The movement of a man's eyes will tell you if he is attracted to you – it’s like giving flirting signs through his eyes. You’ll know that a guy is interested in you if he looks at one of your eyes, then to the other eye, and then shifts downward to look at your nose and lips. This gives out the information that he likes the way you look. A very subtle signal that hardly anyone knows about is that his eyes and yours) will dilate. The pupils get much bigger (this is one reason why dark--‐eyed people can seem especially attractive). Also – he’ll tend to blink more!

Where the eyes go is important. Looking at lips means “I want to kiss.” Looking at other parts of the body may mean “I want to touch.”

The Eyebrow Flash

We’ve heard it said this way: “He'll “serve” you an eyebrow flash. “ When we first see someone we're attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If he likes us back, he raises his eyebrows.

The whole thing lasts about a fifth of a second and it happens everywhere in the world – to everyone regardless of age, race, or class. Lifting our brows pulls the eyes open and allows more light to reflect off the surface, making them look bright, large and inviting. A flash might be easy to miss but they're so reliable, if you do spot one, you may know a man likes you before he’s even registered it himself. Deliberately extend it for up to one second and you've drastically upped the chances of him getting the message you're interested.

His eyebrows remain slightly raised while you're talking. A slightlysurprised, quizzical expression means he finds you fascinating. (Or completely nuts.) Quite frankly, either is preferable to a man who looksat you with a smooth, relaxed brow and eyes. That one simply findsyou “familiar” and “friend--‐like.” Perhaps even boring.

HIS FACEHis lips part. If he likes what he sees, his lips will automatically partfor a moment when your eyes first lock.

His nostrils flare and his face generally "opens". The raised brows,parted lips, flaring nostrils and wide eyes give the whole face a friendly"open" expression.

PREENINGWhat you’re basically saying with this is “I am making myself look good for you.” This includes tossing the head, brushing your hair with your hand, polishing your glasses and brushing your clothes. When a man spots an interesting female, he may automatically adjust his tie, smooth his collar, stroke a lapel or brush his shoulder. He may rearrange his shirt, cuff links, and clothing. He may check his teeth or automatically touch his throat.

Another giveaway: He'll unconsciously detach from his friends by standing slightly apart, hoping to be seen as an individual.

He'll smooth ormess up his hair.Which gestures he chooses depends on his hairstyle and what's going to make it look more flattering. Guys do this involuntarily and more often than you think.

He'll fiddle with his socks and pull them up. In the old days, men only dressed up on special occasions, and while the suit might have survived

months in mothballs, the socks continued to get worn every day. So he may spend half the night pulling them up. It's an extension of preening and it's astonishingly accurate. If a guy pulls up or adjusts his socks in your presence, it's an almost 100 percent sign he's interested in you and trying to look his best.

He'll play with the buttons on his jacket, buttoning andunbuttoning it. It's a displacement activity (fiddling) because you've made him a little nervous, plus an unconscious desire to remove his clothes. The next stage is to push the jacket open and hold it there by putting his hands on his hips. If he takes it off completely, he's imagining his shoes under your bed.

He'll touch his face a lot, while looking at you If he's interested, he'llstroke his cheek up and down with the back of his fingers, touch his ears, or rub his chin. It's a combination of nervous excitement; preening and autoerotic touching.When we're attracted to someone, our skin (most noticeably our lips and mouth) becomes increasingly sensitive to touch and other stimulation.

YOUR ADJUSTMENTSHave you caught yourself “adjusting” your bra straps, fiddling with thehem of your top or skirt, stroking your arms or your clothes and yourhair? The thing is – men are mesmerized by your adjustments! Every timeyou touch yourself or your clothes, a man is riveted to you.

DISPLAYINGYou may have heard the term “alpha male”. This refers to a man who is a strong, smart leader. The term comes from the highest ranked or most dominant individual among social animals such as dogs or wolves. The alpha leader always. dominates the rest of the pack and gains priority in mating with females. Men do the very same thing!

A flirting male may place his hands on his hips to subconsciously makehimself appear bigger. This gesture says “Notice me. I’m the leader andI’m ready to get involved!” It’s a total show of confidence. A man may also pull in his stomach, puff up his chest or stand a little taller.

Males move their bodies to make them look taller and firmer when they are attracted to females. They spread their legs while sitting to show their dominance. If he finds you attractive, he may try to make himself appear taller and stronger.

Attractive parts of the body may be exposed, thrust forward, wiggled or otherwise highlighted. For women this includes breasts, neck, bottom and legs. For men it includes a muscular torso, arms or legs, and particularly the crotch (note that women seldom do this). This is often playing to primitiveneeds.Women show that they are healthy and that they are able to bear and feed the man's child. The man shows he is virile, strong and able to protect the woman and her child.

LEANINGIf a man feels comfortable, and feels in “control” of him and is attracted to you – he’ll do everything he can to stand as CLOSE as he can to you. If your guy stands close to you in public, he's demonstrating that he's “taken.” That you’re HIS, and he’s YOURS . It also shows that he wants to be close to you for the occasional kiss, hand holding or snuggling.

POINTING – What His Hands and Feet Will Tell YouIf you’re wondering whether the cute guy you’re talking with is actually interested, take another look at how he’s sitting. If his body or feet are turned away from you, you might want to look elsewhere for Mr. Right! When using romantic body language from afar, a person will position himself or herself to be in eyes view of target of interest by turning their full body, head, or a meeker person may only turn a foot towards their interest gradually working up the courage to become more visible.

A man who’s interested in you may subtly point at you with a foot, knee, arm or head. It’s effectively a signal that says “I would like to go in this direction.” A man will give you the clue that he likes you when he sits with his toes pointing in your direction. If you’ve crossed your legs and one of your feet is pointing at him –you’ve signaled attraction...!

You’ll know that a man is flirting with you if he tends to look at you more. If you’re in a group and the man is mostly facing you, it means that he likes you and that he’s showing signs that he’s attracted to you.

He'll let you see him checking out your body. Some experts call it "visual voyaging" – his eyes take a little cruise around your body, stopping momentarily at his personally favorite parts. The truth about men is this: He scanned your body automatically the second he laid eyes on you. The difference here is that he's letting you see him do it. The message: I'm considering you as a sexual partner.

He'll stand with hands on hips. This accentuates his physical size andsuggests body confidence. It's also a pointing gesture.

Here are a few things YOU might do that would clue aman thatyou’re open to him and interested in him:

Your eyelashes will flutter. It’s an effect that happens when your hormones get “stirred up.”

• You touch an earlobe or play with an earring or rub one of your arms or legs. And you might do this, and so might he – so look for it: Mimicking the other’s body language. It can start with breathing – when you suddenly discover you’re breathing in the same rhythm. That’s an obvious and very amazing sign of mutual, true interest.

He'll start squeezing his glass or can or roll it from side to side,slightly squeezing it as he does so. When men are sexually interested, they start playing with circular objects. Why? They remind him of your breasts; his body is "leaking" what's happening in his subconscious mind.

COPYINGImitating anyone is saying to them: “I’m like you.” This can range froma similar body position to using the same gestures and language. Although “mimicking” is often a subconscious behavior, as the other person might not even realize that he or she is copying your behavior, it generally is a natural instinct when we try to get closer to someone whom we admire.

TOUCHINGWhat does it mean if he touches your clothing or your shoulder? A light touch on the back, shoulder or arm may seem innocent at first, but it most likely means he wants to touch you more. When a man does this he may be “signaling” you that he’s friendly and non--‐threatening... but would like to get more personal with you. Usually, when a man is attracted to a woman, he can’t resist touching her.

For you – if you touch a man’s knee or thigh – you’re expressing interest. If you want to get more suggestive – try this: remove an earring, or slip off a shoe and dangle it from your toes.

He'll guide you by putting his arm on your elbow or in the small ofyour back. The arm guide isn't just good manners and a polite way ofguiding you through a crowd; he's making sure he knows exactly where you're going by taking you there. He doesn't want to lose you! It also shows

you're being "taken care of" so no other men need volunteer. Along with the arm guide, there'll be lots of accidentally--‐on--‐purpose touches.

Submissive Body Language:Are You Giving Up Your Power – Or Letting Him Lead?

She cowers to his aggression and allows the lion to take her. That is submissive body language that signals she’s been “conquered.” But it’s planned.

Some specific submissive body language signals you might notice yourself doing are: holding your head down, avoiding eye contact with others while in public, widening of eyes to appear more innocent (much like the bright wide eyes of an infant), and attentively looking into the eyes of someone who is speaking to you. Someone YOU consider “dominant.”

None of this is attractive body language:Cowering, closing off your body to protect yourself, avoiding eye contact, widening your eyes to act innocent and keep yourself “safe,” or agreeing with whatever a man who you instinctively feel is “dominant” says or does.

Submission is not what you’re going for here. You certainly don’t want a submissive--‐acting man – it’s no fun, it’s not sexy, and it makes you feel very unfeminine.

But – acting submissive in order to attract a “cave man” or a more “masculine” man will backfire on you, too! A man can pick up on body language that speaks of a lack of confidence in you, and that you’re just agreeing with him because you feel compelled to by insecurity – not because you authentically agree with him.

Understanding His Body LanguageWill Change Your Love Life

How To Become The Object Of His Desire

There are many things which attract a man to a woman.

Some factors are obvious and more physical, such as a well-formed body.

But other major factors in attracting the man you desire are more subtly powerful, and involve the way that you present yourself and interact with him.

Every woman has the ability to enhance their sex appeal and have the man they want falling over backwards with desire, if only they can learn to work with what they’ve got.

Although you can’t force attraction, you can create an atmosphere where attraction can grow.

Continue below to learn how exactly what triggers his desires, and how you can make the man you want irresistibly attracted to you.

Embrace your sensuality How often do you truly take in the world around you through your senses, experiencing all of the beauty and wonder in the sights, smells, tastes, and sounds?

The key to bringing out your sensual self is to start living in the moment.

Instead of thinking about what you need to get done next week, where you would rather be right now, and what happened yesterday, live in the RIGHT NOW.

Take in all that is happening around you and appreciate all of the pleasant experiences you may be having.

When a man sees a woman overcome with bliss at the taste of her icecream, the smell of a rose, or the feel of the warm sun on her skin, he is instantly attracted to the vision of her sensuality.

He starts to imagine if you would look like that if it was his scent you were breathing in, or his skin you were tasting.

And that image is still the one playing in his head hours later.

Project confidence in your own bodySensuality is also about embracing your body as it is and feeling completely comfortable in your own skin.

A women who embraces her curves, flaws, and assets is easily a lot more attractive than a woman who is insecure and uncomfortable with her body. You don’t need to be a perfect ‘10’ to be sexy!

A woman who FEELS sexy IS sexy.

The key to feeling more confident and sexy is to focus your attention on accentuating your assets, rather than trying to hide your flaws.

For example, if you have great legs, wear a nice skirt that shows them off!

Or if you have beautiful eyes, draw attention to them by keeping the rest of your make-up minimal and using mascara to frame your eyes with long, dark lashes.

Another vital tip is to always dress to flatter YOUR own body shape and style, rather than just trying to keep up with the latest fashions.

Be a little naughty and show a hint of skin to drive him wild – your toned smooth legs, your cleavage, or your bare shoulders.

Just make sure you don’t show off too much leg AND cleavage at once – go for one or the other in order to maintain a classy appearance!

Dizzy him with your femininity This is about embracing and flaunting the amazingly unique things about you as a women that drive him wild.

For example, the feel of your soft, smooth skin against his own. Your sweet voice and feminine scent, your curvaceous body, and the way your hips sway as you move.

Have you ever been drawn in by the amazing masculine musk of a man’s scent?

Well, YOU can have the same effect on him. Consider purchasing a new feminine perfume or body lotion which will drive him mad with desire when he gets close to you.

Use soft, sweet voice tones to make him powerfully respond to you on an unconscious level. Demonstrating your femininity in your voice can activate a biological need within him to cherish and protect you as his mate.

Please note that being feminine DOES NOT mean you need to come across as being weak, timid, or incapable of independence. After all, there are plenty of powerful businesswomen who radiate femininity.

It just means that no matter what you do, you are still able to enjoy what it is that makes you a woman, and appreciate what it is that makes him a man.

Attract him to your positive auraIf you can make a man always feel good when he is around you, you are already halfway there.

Warmth and trustworthiness are rated as the number one traits that a person looks for in a relationship partner.

So become a woman who radiates positive energy. Smile, laugh and appreciate the good things in life – you can instantly boost your attractiveness just by smiling!

Men are attracted to women who are able to laugh at themselves and see the bright side of unfortunate situations.

So relax and let your guard down when you are in your man’s presence. Let him see the amazing person you are.

Laugh at his jokes and tease him flirtatiously. Alongside the teasing, add in some really genuine compliments from time to time that will really make him feel good about himself.

Creating this positive aura will make him feel like he is entering a warm, safe haven every time he is around you, where he can relax and be himself.

And you can be sure that he will want to keep coming back for more.

Draw him in with your sultry bedroom eyesDid you know that making deep eye contact with your man can literally spark a chemical reaction in his brain?

When you look lovingly and tenderly into his eyes, a chemical called phenylethylamine (PEA) activates in his brain. This acts as a natural amphetamine, filling him with pleasurable feelings.

So to instantly send attraction into overdrive, look deeply into your man’s eyes with a gaze of love, desire, and softness.

Let your eyes show him how much you want him.

Run your eyes up and down his body slowly, taking everything in, before you come back up to meet his eyes.

Flick your gaze down to his lips every so often as you’re having a conversation.

He will be unable to ignore the messages your eyes are sending, and will be drawn in by the irresistible attraction you are creating between you.

Once a man has experienced the full effect of being with a woman as warm, sensual and sexy as this, she will become the sole object of his affection and desires.

YOU can be that woman.

Brooke Ryan

Author,MeetYourSweet.com

Personality Traits Men Find Incredibly Sexy

1. Warmth

We all love receiving affection.

Warmth is the number one quality that both men and women consistently rate as their most desired trait in a partner.

Women high in warmth are friendly, kind and generous. They give lots of smiles, hugs, kisses and compliments, which makes men feel like a million bucks and satisfies their need for closeness.

These are the women men want to come home to at the end of the day, and hold through the night.

So next time you see a cute guy at the bar, catch his eye and smile. Trust me, he will melt…

2. Confidence

You’ve heard it time and time again – confidence is sexy!!

Men love a woman who is happy with who she is – it is easy to love someone who loves themselves.

You do not need to be the most beautiful, smart, or athletic woman in the room to be confident and sexy. Everyone has qualities that are amazing and unique to them.

The secret is to flaunt these great aspects of yourself, show your gorgeous smile to the world and stop comparing yourself to others.

3. Optimism

Having a positive outlook on life is one of the most desirable traits a woman have.

Optimistic women are fun to be around, are easy going, and can always make the best of a situation.

Their happy-go-lucky nature is easily transferred to others and can relax the whole atmosphere in a room. Who wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone like this?

So what’s the secret?

The secret to becoming a more optimistic woman is to start looking at the positives of everyday situations and letting go the negatives.

Think, ‘What am I grateful for today? What have I achieved?’

If you can see the good things in life, men will be attracted to your positive energy like a magnet.

4. Intelligence

Ever heard the saying that the brain is the biggest sex organ?

Yes, believe it or not, one thing that will absolutely drive a man wild is a woman who can use her wit and handle herself.

Too often movies and other media give the impression that the woman men want is a sexy airhead who lives to worship her man. This is not the case.

Men appreciate a woman they can have a proper conversation with. Stimulating the mind can stimulate other feelings of closeness and connection – creating chemistry that will send you straight to the bedroom!

Don’t worry – being intelligent does not mean you have to have a PhD!! Just that you can take care of yourself, have your own ideas, and take pride in what you do.

So never feel you should play down your intelligence ladies, don’t be afraid to challenge your man with your own opinion.

How To Turn Your Fear Into Confidence

When you look at a confident woman who has no trouble getting dates all the time, does it seem like she ACCIDENTALLY ended up that way?

I believe it’s a conscious decision to constantly dig into the aspects of your personality that help get you through differentsituations.

So confidence is basically a daily HABIT of making use of what’s ALREADY there.

To put in another way, you don’t actually get confidence from an external source. Books, audio tapes, seminars and other material that talk about the subject matter WON’T help you GAIN confidence like it was a lucky charm you put on.

Instead, what you’re doing is simply harvesting the untapped potential that’s been INSIDE YOU all along.

At first, going through the motions of developing your latent confidence feels like flexing certain groups of muscles. During this adjustment period, you’re going to feel awkward and clumsy from doing new things you’ve never tried before.

However, if you keep at it long enough, you’ll soon find yourself making progress. The initial disorientation will eventually go away as you gain your bearings.

It’s like going to the gym: as you build your inner strength, you’ll definitely feel a bit sore at the beginning. But as time passes, this will go away and you’ll look forward to turning things up a notch!

That’s why I’d like you to take a look at the general framework which supports a confident personality. I’ve laid out some basic things you’ll need to do in order to make the most of your abilities:

#1: Think like a confident woman

The number one confidence killer is a NEGATIVE attitude. I’m sure you’ve heard that before, but the only reason why it’s been repeated so many times is because it’s TRUE.

Often, the one person who can tear down your self-esteem is none other than YOURSELF. Your confidence will be the first thing to suffer the moment you start forming exaggerated perceptions about who you are as a person…followed shortly by your love life.

It’s simple, really: a man won’t find any reason to be attracted to a woman that can’t even like HERSELF in the first place. The attitude you have towards yourself will encourage others to do the same.

This is why you’ll need to turn around any pessimistic self-beliefs you have in order to bring about your natural confidence.

Ok, let’s shake things up a bit by trying something different. Just this time, I want you to think like a guy.

No, you read it right – this exercise is meant to put yourself in an OBJECTIVE light by dealing with plain FACTS. You see, the male perspective is mostly focused on transferring information and being straight to the point.

Unlike the feminine point of view, guys have a penchant for cutting to the chase without the extra fluff. He’s analytical, rational and fact-based.

So how does thinking like a man help your self-confidence? Well, this is the exact mindset I want you to have as you do a thorough self-evaluation of all your strengths and points of improvement.

For your positive traits, think of all the wonderful things about yourself that your family, friends and co-workers love about you. You need to take these factors into account because they’ll be your best bet at ATTRACTING MEN as well.

As for the things you need to improve about yourself, remember to make NO ROOM for excessively negative talk. Simply jot down all the stuff you need to work on without unnecessarily beating yourself up.

Resist the urge to DWELL on the negative aspects and instead make an effort to acknowledge them in a detached, third-person perspective. Think of it as taking your car to the shop for a check-up.

Excellent mileage? Noted.

Shaky suspension? Check.

Good steering? Got it.

And so on.

When you find that your tire’s sprung a slow leak, should you throw a pity party and cry over the injustice of it all? No, you WORK through your issues until they’re just a memory.

That’s the masculine approach to getting stuff done – no fuss, no tears.

(Okay, maybe just a little on that last one – KIDDING!)

The better your self-perception is, the more attractive you become. So maybe you’re not perfect – welcome to the human race!

What matters is that your MIND is FOCUSED on putting your attributes to GOOD USE while acknowledging/working on your flaws (minus the self-pity!).

#2: Move like a confident woman

Now that we’ve got the positive mindset out of the way, let’s talk about body language. Again, maintain a detached perspective – do you slouch more than you hold your head up high with your shoulders pulled back?

It’s easy to be oblivious about things like these, but nevertheless necessary to consider. A confident attitude is also manifested through the little signals that your movements send out.

Being self-assured isn’t limited to a verbal sense. Other people’s perception of you is also influenced by the unspoken messages of body language.

Though you may not be saying anything, your posture, way of walking and other gestures are already giving people all the impression they need…all before you’ve even opened your mouth.

With that said, imagine yourself as a high-profile celebrity who’s always in the public eye, even on the most casual of days. This is a fun way to look the importance of walking and moving confidently at all times.

Picture yourself as a woman who’s comfortable in the presence of other people. Visualize exactly how you would sit, walk upright, or stand in the middle of a crowd.

Would you drag your feet or let your upper body sink? Obviously, those are huge no-no’s!

While you’re at it, get your doctor on board so you can discuss which therapy options can improve posture. Rolfing (www.rolfing.org) and other forms of neuromuscular therapy can straighten your back and help you walk more confidently.

The important thing is that you’re making the effort to work on this if need be. Even if you aren’t a carbon copy of a Photoshopped billboard model, your assured stride and great posture says great things about you.

#3: Get rejected like a confident woman

Don’t fall for the misconception that rejection and confidence are mutually exclusive concepts. Even the most attractive and confident-looking girl out there has dealt with rejection at some point in her life.

Furthermore, NO ONE is spared from the risk or FEAR of getting turned down by a member of the opposite sex. It hurts, but that’s life.

There’s really no point in arguing about the inevitability of failure – everyone goes through it, and the best we can do is learn to process it constructively. That’s the only way we can use rejection as a stepping stone to greater success with men.

As with what I’ve said about thinking positively, you shouldn’t allow yourself to fall into a wave of self-destructive thoughts. Rejection can trigger a downward spiral if you let it.

As such, getting turned down by a jerk should be treated as a learning experience instead of making it a reason to give up dating or hate men (or yourself for that matter). Besides, it’s best to end things now than continue going out with guys like those.

Think about this empowering fact: men are usually the ones who have to walk up to women. In most cases, guys are the first ones to put their pride on the chopping block and hope it doesn’t get cleaved in half.

By that way of thinking, you’ll not only appreciate what guys have to go through just to capture your interest – you’ll also realize that he’s just as nervous as you are!

Look, all women are subject to fear, but only the confident ones carry on IN SPITE of the feeling. Emotions can’t be switched off, but they can certainly be MANAGED.

If you want to make progress, mistakes are NEEDED to get ahead. Sometimes, you won’t truly realize what works in dating without a firsthand knowledge of what DOESN’T.

Human instinct makes us wary of a place or situation we’ve never gone through before. Many like to call this as a COMFORT ZONE. And that’s exactly the place where you won’t learn anything new.

You’ll have to set foot beyond this area of complacence! Mistakes (like rejection) are part of even the most calculated risks.

If a man brushes you off, it’s either you need to work on your interaction skills or maybe he was just having a bad day. It has nothing to do with how attractive you are to men…

…and it’s by no means a measure of your worth as a person.

Bear this in mind: It’s HIS LOSS, not yours. It only means you’re better suited for other guys who have the consideration and class to go out with someone as sassy as you.

#4: Have style like a confident woman

Let’s break down our concept of style into three basic groups: grooming, hygiene and fashion.

Now, none of these things have anything to do with being vain, because the idea is to give the rest of the world the impression that you’re an ADULT who has herself put together.

As I told you in the beginning, being confident doesn’t happen by chance. This is especially true when it comes to style.

You DON’T just fall out of bed and HAPPEN to look fabulous by some sudden stroke of luck. That’s not how good style works – it’s a DELIBERATE effort to let everyone know that you’re a woman they can take seriously (or ask out on a date!).

So take my advice: make yourself presentable, but not in an obsessive way. Ideal beauty looks effortless, and that’s best manifested by a gorgeous but low-maintenance-looking woman.

This kind of look tells the guys you’re a cool, down-to-earth girl BUT is savvy enough to take care of herself. It’s the unbeatable combination to have!

So the first thing you do is get a friend or a close relative who can provide an honest opinion. She can serve as your personal guru during your “style audit”.

Have your partner in crime evaluate your make-up M.O. She’ll be able to tell you if you’re putting too much on or too little.

With her helpful eye, you can figure out how much you should use by considering your facial shape, type of clothing worn, and hair length. Once your consultant has taken all of these into consideration, you should be able to work out a sensible “cosmetic policy”.

Now, go into a salon with your friend/relative and have a little sit-down with the on-site stylist. They should be able to find the perfect hairstyle which will bring out your best features.

Remember to be VOCAL about your preferences so that you all come to an agreeable plan for your precious follicles. The essential idea is to keep your hair soft, lustrous and healthy-looking, no matter what length you choose.

Try not to go with a certain style that will take inordinate amounts of time to recreate everyday. Like I mentioned, a low-maintenance (but tasteful) sense of style is the way to go!

While you can splurge a bit on your haircut, don’t go to the extreme of putting down a monthly paycheck’s worth just on this alone. Pamper yourself, but don’t break the bank in the process.

As for clothes, you can invest on several high-end items but keep it within reasonable limits. The essentials should always be part of your wardrobe, such as shirts, blouses, pants, belts, bags and other accessories that can be mixed and matched according to the occasion. While your fashion lineup needs to accommodate anything from casual to formal settings, don’t go anything beyond that.

Again, have your friend do an inventory check of your closet and categorize which stuff you can keep or give away. Once you’ve narrowed down which clothes to hold on to, head over to shopping mall to update your wardrobe if necessary.

The rule of thumb here is to find clothes that flatter your natural body shape and highlight your best attributes. Think of outfits which can emphasize your curves in order to bring out your feminine features.

You don’t have to bare too much skin; get clothes that reveal just enough for the imagination to do its work. With your shopping buddy and the staff’s help, you’ll gradually learn to pick out stuff that works best for you.

Since we’re working on unleashing your femininity here, always remember to put good hygiene at the forefront of your personal style. Keep the bare necessities in mind, such as shaving (or plucking) the important places and cleanliness (via showers, brushing your teeth, etc.).

Speaking of baths, go crazy with the scented shampoo, soap, body oils, moisturizers and other stuff to keep you looking soft, delicate and good enough to eat up! It’s important to keep in mind that men are absolutely driven mad by women who know how to look after themselves.

Lastly, get into an active and healthy lifestyle. Do whatever it takes to get into that taking-care-of-myself frame of mind!

If you happen to work at a place where you spend most of the day sitting down, finding time to work up a sweat is vital. You don’t need to have an hourglass figure, but you do have to maintain a daily or weekly effort in burning those calories.

Look up the gyms in your local area and choose one that jives with your daily schedule. If that’s not your thing, there are other alternatives such as Yoga and Tae Bo.

Of course, half of looking great also goes into what you eat. Get the help of your doctor or a nutritionist to come up with a REASONABLE eating plan that will keep you trim and energized.

Achieving a better (read: not perfect) figure is possible if you truly want it. All the means are there at your disposal; all you have to do seek them out and USE it.

In summary, all of these aspects form the rudiments of good poise. When you get used to keeping up the habits we’ve discussed today, you’ll gradually DEVELOP the kind of personality that SCREAMS of self-confidence.

Once again, your confidence is an existing gift that you’ve always had. It’s only now that we’re getting down to the business of unleashing your natural capacity to kick butt!

Think of how a sculptor would see it: the right kind of attitude will chip away the parts that you don’t need. From your “raw form”, your positive outlook will eventually reveal the beautiful yet sturdy work of art that you are underneath!

   3. KNOW WHEN TO LET HIM CHILL OUT.

Did you know that, as women, our brains LITERALLY never disengage? Studies in neurobiology have shown that this is true.    The corpus callosum (that connects the 2 sides of our brain) is different to mens', and the result is that the left and right sides of the brain are CONSTANTLY interacting, communicating, and parsing meaning from the world. Even when we're asleep, we're still 'working' with our brains!

Guys do not do this. Their brains can 'turn off'.  This may be why men like to 'unwind' by disengaging the brain and just thinking about nothing for awhile. Here's how this can apply to your life.   Have you ever noticed that, when women come home from a hard day at work, they want to talk about all the stuff that happened to them that day? Generally, discussing the day helps us to relax, put things in perspective, and get into 'recreation-time' mode.  

Men, on the other hand, often prefer a more 'meditative' approach: lots of guys like to come home and think (and, more importantly, TALK) about NOTHING MUCH for awhile. If you want to INSTANTLY IMPROVE relations with the guy in your life, try giving him at least - at LEAST! - half an hour of silent, unbothered 'fire-gazing time' without interruption.  Not to call too heavily on history to explain current events, but ...

In pre-historic times, men chilled out and 'got perspective' literally by gazing into the fire. They would sit there in silence, enjoying the flickering light and the red glow from the embers, and would remain there until they felt ready to re-enter the hive of the community.  

In modern times, men do this by reading the newspaper, watching the news on TV, browsing online, or just pottering around for awhile. Most guys would appreciate it more than they can say if you would just allow them that half-hour or so of quiet time when they come home at the end of the day before asking questions, requesting help with the dinner, or talking to them about your day.  

This is something that a lot of women struggle with, because it seems so unnatural to us. So here's a suggestion: don't knock it 'til you've tried it. Give him a kiss when he walks in the door, and then go do your own thing until HE comes to YOU.

4. PICK YOUR 'WE NEED TO TALK' TIMES WELL

It JUST MAKES SENSE that, if you have something you want to talk about, that you choose a GOOD TIME to do it in. Regardless, lots of women are driven by their EMOTIONS when choosing a 'talking time' ... and end up picking a bad time that virtually GUARANTEES frustration for both parties.  

For example, a lot of women bring up 'issues' when they're in the car (with him driving.) This is often because there's a fair amount of 'quiet time' for the passenger when travelling together (he's concentrating; you're gazing out the window and mulling things over.) This is when women often have 'a-ha!' moments - moments when they just feel COMPELLED to bring something up.

Unfortunately, this need often coincides with the very moment that he's trying to navigate an eight-lane 'Spaghetti Junction' of an intersection, and as a result, the opener is greeted with annoyance and/or silence.  

   Other classic times that well-meaning women tend to bring up 'issues':

   - When the news is on

   - When he's reading

   - When he's just got home from work

   - On a tearful 2 a.m. phone call

   - In bed

If you've got something important to discuss, choose your time well. Wait til you're both feeling relaxed and in a good mood. Wait til he’s not busy doing something else. And THEN bring it up.  

A quick note: try your hardest to NEVER talk about 'difficult' (or potentially-difficult) subjects in bed. The bed that you share should be a 'safe place' where only sex, sleeping, and other fun stuff happen. If you want to keep 'bedtime' as 'cozy time', steer away from the 'difficult' conversations when in it.  Oh ... and don't use phrases like 'we need to talk'.  

They rather accept their reality the way it is & assume that this is how things will be for them for the rest of their life.

How To Stop Being A Nice Girl & Make Any Man Want You – The Perfect Guide...

Most women believe that men want to end up with the "nice girl", the one that cooks for him and makes him feel like a king. This is utterly WRONG. Most women are standing in their own way and if you truly want things to get better then let me give you the 2 most important concepts which will change everything for you…

1- Men will work extra hard to win you over, when they know they don’t have control over you.2- Men want to be kept curious (Even if you are already in a relationship with him.)

When a girl usually likes a guy – She automatically starts doing things to please him, starts being too nice, starts giving more than she’s supposed to, stars doing things she wouldn’t normally do. And when a guy does this a woman usually feels irritated because after trying so hard she isn’t getting the result she expected. In the process, she becomes needy & this usually drives the guy further away. Well for starters, stop being the nice girl, stop trying to please him, stop trying to make him like you, stop working hard for his attention, stop waiting on the phone for that call which never comes. STOP IT!

From now on, only do things which will show him that he doesn’t have complete control over you & only focus on things which will keep him curious…Let’s focus on some examples here –

Situation 1 – What to do when he is starting to lose attraction for you & is taking you for granted?Solution – You have been overly available & haven’t given him the space & time to miss you. Take two steps back & let him come to you this time. Don’t call him for a few days and let him wonder what you are up to. A confident woman isn’t insecure about losing the guy and gives him plenty of space and in the process the guy doesn’t feel caged.

Situation 2 – What to do when he wants sex too early?Solution – Tell him that you aren’t comfortable with such things early on, you aren’t someone who is open to something physical unless you really know the guy on a deeper level. If a man has to wait for sex, he will automatically think of you as someone of very high value. Every man wants sex as fast as possible but by holding it, you automatically become that special woman he would do anything for.

Situation 3- What to do when he doesn’t call you?Solution – Sometimes a man just wouldn’t call to see how you react. Do not, and I mean do not call him no matter what. He is the one who should do the calling. If he likes you enough, a simple phone call shouldn’t be that big of an issue for him.

Situation 4- What to do when he is playing too hard to get?Solution – Your world doesn’t revolve around him. The sooner he gets it the better it would be for both of you. Don’t react to such petty games and stand your ground. Sometimes when you have to choose between a guy and your dignity, it’s better to keep your dignity.

Situation 5- What to do when he doesn’t listen?Solution – Men usually don’t respond to words, they respond better to actions. And by actions I mean – You should give him space when you can clearly see he isn’t giving any importance to your words. By doing this you are telling him two things –1- You don’t like being ignored.2- You aren’t scared to walk away.Trust me, he will get the message loud and clear after that.

What you must remember –- Never ever assume that you are not good enough or attractive enough. You are a woman and that’s enough. You don’t have to chase a man, it’s his job to do so.- A man will always want what he can’t have, don’t let him have easy access to yourself, let him do the work needed to win your affection.- A truly strong woman is someone who has a lot of self control & isn’t scared to walk away from a man who doesn’t respect her.- When he does something you don’t like, punish him by getting distant. Let him know that you aren’t someone who will let him play around with her.- Never ever do the things you aren’t comfortable doing just to please him. And if you do, trust me – He won’t ever be pleased and you won’t ever be happy.- Don’t expect him to spend all his time with you, do not check up on him 100 times a day, if you think about him most of the time then you have already given most of your power away.

How To Get A Man To Do Just About Anything – The Method WhichAlways Works...

A Gentle Warning: What you are about to discover in this report is a very effective psychological tactic which will give you the power to make your man do almost anything. Neither will I teach you how to make yourself seem like you are better than everyone else or house an attitude. What I will show you are proven tactics you can employ in your daily dealings with a guy & how to effectively get what you deserve out of your relationship.

Men Are Driven By Ego - They Would Do Anything To Protect It And Every Man Has A Secret Desire To Look Like A Hero In Your Eyes.

Now here is the big secret in a nutshell – If you learn the art of tickling his ego & giving him the illusion that he is in control, he will always do what you want him to do. Deep down every man wants to be in control & wants you to treat him like he’s your hero.

Step 1 - Give him the illusion that he has the power or he is in control (tickle his ego).Step 2 - Say something positive about his actions which will make him feel like a hero.Step 3 – Then gently suggest what you want him to do by creating a positive expectation. For example – Let’s say you want him to keep his commitments, here is what you must say when you’re in conversation with him…“Tom, I really appreciate the fact that you are a man of your word & always deliver on your promises. This is one quality I really love in a guy. I know you are someone who will go out of his way to deliver on his promises & will never disappoint anyone.”

Now let me explain why this works so well –1- By saying that you believe he is a man of his word, you have indirectly tickled his ego & now he will feel powerful.2- By saying you love such a quality in a guy you have given him an appealing compliment which will make him feel like a hero.3- And here is the important bit – By saying that you know he’s not someone who will ever disappoint you & will always deliver on his promises. You have indirectly told him what you want him to do by creating a positive expectation. He will follow through with your request just because he wants to look like a hero in your eyes. This is what he will think –“Oh wow! She thinks so highly of me. I better not screw up.”

So the next time he promises you something he will struggle to not follow through with his promise. Don’t be surprised if he starts doing more of the things you like and over delivers on his promises after this point. Men would move mountains to protect their ego. Now let me give you some really good examples of how you can use this tactic in other situations with men –

Scenario #1 – Let’s say you want him to be honest about everything. Say the following to him –“Tom, I am glad that you aren’t like most other guys & you are always honest about everything. Such guys are very rare to find nowadays. I know you are someone who will never lie about anything.” And even if he has been lying to you so far, he will feel super guilty & will either tell you the truth or will not lie to you at all from this point forward.

Scenario #2 – Let’s say you want him to take you seriously after the first few dates. Say the following –“Tom, you are probably the only guy I know who doesn’t play mind games with a woman just to get into her pants. You are one of those rare guys who are genuine. I know you aren’t someone who will use a woman just for his personal pleasure.”

Scenario #3 – When you want him to give you the special treatment – say the following –“Tom, you are one of those rare guys who knows how to treat a woman right. You make me feel wonderful on a whole new level which can’t be described. I am really glad to have someone like you.”Scenario #4 – When you want to intensify his attraction towards you –“Tom, you are the first guy I have ever met who knows exactly what a woman wants. I love it when a guy not only keeps my needs in mind but also respects my personal space. You have some very impressive qualities.”

Scenario #5 – When you want him to do something special for you – Try the following –“Valentines day is coming & I am already buzzing with excitement. I know you will have something very special planned for us. I know you love to give surprises.”

Scenario #6 – When you want to ensure that he doesn’t cheat on you or dates other women while he is with you – Try the following –“Tom, I was just talking to an old friend of mine who just realized that herboyfriend was cheating on her. I am so happy to have you in my life as I know you will never do anything like that to me. I really appreciate the fact that you are a man of strict principles.”And I am sure by now you understand how it works and can come up with your own variations of this trick to deal with different situations around a man. It’s really fun to make him have this little bit of adrenaline rush for you once in a while. It’s one of the factors which will keep him glued to you.

If you properly follow everything you have learned so far I can almost guarantee you that not only will you get what you want, get treated better but you will also feel happy about yourself in the long term.

How To Read A Man’s Mind & Figure Out What He Is Thinking – The Sure Fire Method...

The Truth Sits In What He Does…Not What He Says… If you really want to know what is going on in a man’s mind all you have to do is to focus on his actions and completely ignore his words. Let me illustrate with some examples – Let’s say you went out on a date & the guy promised to call you back but never did…. What could it possibly mean…

- Maybe he lost your phone number.- Maybe he is busy.- Maybe he is nervous about it.I am sure you can come up with more maybes but if you were to study his action…There is one thing which is screaming out loud and that is this –

HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU ENOUGH…PERIOD!If he did…He would call you…What’s on his mind will reflect in his actions.You aren’t on his mind and you aren’t on the top of his list of priorities. I know it sounds harsh but it’s the truth. A man can never be busy enough to forget to call a girl he likes…In fact! If he truly liked you…he would put you above everything else going on in his life and will call you for sure. Now let’s take another example – let’s say you are confused about your current relationship and don’t know whether your boyfriend will marry you or not. And whenever you ask him he either completely avoids the question or just changes the topic. What’s going on here? You can again sit there and come up with more maybes such as –- Maybe this isn’t the right time to talk about it.- Maybe he is really stressed at work and I should avoid this topic.- Maybe he is waiting for the right time to propose.- Maybe he wants to be financially stable before he commits etc etc.But what do his actions say? If you were to purely focus on his actions you’d know that something isn’t right. Since he isn’t ready to discuss it…He is indirectly letting you know that he won’t marry you. This doesn’t mean that this same guy won’t be married some day but the harsh truth is thathe won’t be married to you. If he truly wanted to marry you, then you won’t even have to do the asking…He will do the asking. There is no such thing as the “RIGHT TIME”…It’s all about the “RIGHT WOMAN”. And when a guy has found the woman who triggers all the right buttons in his head…He will doeverything necessary to keep her and settle down with her.

When a guy isn’t asking you out…Possible Excuse Women Use… The Real Truth...Woman: Oh he is shy, and waiting for the right moment.Man: If he liked you enough he’d know how to ask you.

When you aren’t sure if he likes you or not…Possible Excuse Women Use… The Real Truth...Woman: Maybe he likes me but is too shy to say it to me.Man: A guy won’t keep you guessing if he really likes you, in fact he would be afraid that some other guy might take you away from him and will do everything in his power to let you know that he likes you either by words or by his actions around you.

When he is in a relationship with you but also flirts with othergirls…

Possible Excuse Women Use… The Real Truth...Woman: Oh! He’s always been the flirty kind and I know he only does it occasionally for fun. Not something I should worry about.Man: If he is flirting, it means he is keeping his options open. Whichmeans that he isn’t exclusive to you, which also means that someday in the near future something will happen which won’t please you,which means you better be prepared for it right away. Accept it now or be prepared for something shocking in the near future.

- Never give a man the benefit of the doubt more than once. If he failed you once, he is very likely to do it over and over again.

In the case of sleeping with him too early, try to focus on what attitude, mindset and actions a man adopts after he’s slept with you? Most guys tend to act a little aloof, a little dry, and sometimes try to make excuses when you call them. Therefore, before even waiting for him to act, or react this way you should adopt those attitudes by default. Which means, you should act a little aloof, dry and almost uninterested right after you’ve slept with him? When you do that, not only will you shock the guy a little, but youwill also stand out and impress him. Let me explain this further – Most men sort of expect a woman to get needy or desperate, after they’ve slept with her. They expect a series of desperate phone calls, or text messages from her. In fact, they put their shield up, even before; you get in touch with them again.So in short – Most men are following a certain pattern and expect certain behaviors from you. But, when don’t act as he was expecting you to act, you suddenly break through his patterns, and force him to think. Similarly, when you don’t act like how other women act, you suddenly appear like this out of the ordinary, and different woman to him. He would instantly label you as someone different, because you don’t come with the standard flaws, other women come with.

Step 1 – Focus on a guy’s actions or thoughts.Step 2 – Mirror or adopt those actions or thoughts

“How do I stand out in his mind? What can I do to make him see me as pure gold?”

This is really important because this one thing alone, will give you the power to make any man see you as absolute gold, and he will find himself wanting and craving you, pretty much like a hungry dog who craves a piece of bone.

Big reason # 1 – You will realize that looks aren’t that important to a man…

I know what I just said is probably hard to believe for you. I mean, we live in a society where pretty women are chased around all the time, so most women walk around with the belief - that if you aren’t pretty enough, then you can’t attract a high quality man.

Big reason # 2- He will see you the way you want him tosee you…

Ever had a situation where you really wanted a guy to notice a certain quality in you, or notice you a certain way, but he somehow couldn’t see it?Or have you been in a situation where you wanted to present your best self to a guy, only to realize that he sees you in a completely different light, which is much different, than how you wanted him to see you? Or, if your situation is really bad, then you did or said something around him, which is the exact opposite of how you usually operate and now you regret it massively? But, now you are stuck in a situation where you can’t change his perception of you, and feel trapped?

You will be able to make him notice all the positive aspects of you, and ignore all the negative ones. In fact, I’ll show you exactly how you can present yourself in a way, where he assumes that you are really valuable, and as a result he will reward you with very special treatment

Big reason # 3 – Attraction will become automatic after this point…

Most women feel that they must do something to make it work; they assume that if a man isn’t feeling attracted to them, then they need to try harder. Well, attraction can’t be forced. If you force it, it leads to manyproblems and issues. Besides, why would you want that anyway? What’s the point of trying to force a man into liking, or wanting you? Wouldn’t it be better if he himself, makes up his mind about you, and comes to a conclusion that you’re an amazing woman, and he can’t help but feel attracted to you?

In order to make a man see you are pure gold, you need to understand the concept of “Perceived value”. In short, perceived value, is the perception a man has, on how valuable you are in comparison to other women. So the equation works like this –

Your value = His perception of you, compared to other women. As humans, we are constantly in unconscious conversation with ourenvironment, to determine the value of something. In other words, we are always unconsciously scanning people’s behaviors, and making an unconscious judgment on how valuable they are. You might not know this, but you do it all the time as well. Can you think back to a time, when you met a guy who appeared to be really special?

And if you were to be brutally honest with yourself – Did you find yourself trying that little bit extra, or putting in a little more effort, to gain his approval or acceptance?

Well, that’s what happens to our mind, the moment we perceive something or someone to be valuable. Second important point to be noted here is that – I mentioned perceived value, not real value. In other words, you might not be that amazing to the world but in a man's personal perception of you, you are absolutely amazing. This explains the confusion between looks and attraction.

So the drill is very simple – in order to make him see you as absolute gold, you need to establish yourself as someone of very high value. But now the big question is – How do you do it? Well, the process involves 3 really easy steps.Step 1 – You establish yourself as the controller of interactions.Step 2 – You become proactive rather than reactive.Step 3 – You assume attraction.

In simple terms, one person would control the whole interaction, while the other follows the lead of the controller. In order to establish yourself as someone of high value, you need to become the controller of most, if not all interactions you have with a man.

This is specifically important during the early phases of dating. It could be something as simple as him, completely dominating the conversation, and asking you to follow his directions. Plus he would even test you further to see, how quickly you give into his direct, or indirect requests. If you give into the temptation, and try a little hard, you have given all your power away and now, he controls the whole interaction. But, on the other hand, if you hold firm and don’t let him take you for an emotional ride, you start controlling the frame, and by the end of it, he ends up being the one seeking your approval, which makes him think of you, as someone of very high value.

Not just this, you instantly differentiate yourself from majority of the women out there as well, because, most women don’t understand how this process works. And this brings me to the second important point, which is – Youhave to become proactive rather than reactive

Most women live in the reactive mentality. If a guy doesn’t call when he promised he would, they freak out, and call the guy to ask him why he didn't call. They try to force things to progress a little faster by trying harder,but as we already know, that strategy doesn’t work, and often makes things really difficult for you.

When you are in the reactive state of mind, you send out a very weak vibe that indirectly tells the guy – I like you a lot, and am willing to do whatever it takes to catch and keep you in my life. So, when you are reactive, you just appear to be like millions ofother women out there, which doesn’t make you stand out. In other words, you need to stop reacting to his actions, and rather make him react to your actions. For example – If he doesn’t call when he promised he would, you shouldn’t freak out and call him to see what happened. You should rather stay calm and wait for him to call, whenever he is ready. In other words, if things don’t go your way, you shouldn’t react in anegative fashion. And this brings me to the 3rd and the most important step, which is – You must assume attraction.

What do I mean by assuming attraction? Well, in short, you assume that every man is already attracted to you. Let’s say you are the hottest and smartest woman out there, someone who men literally drool over, and can’t stay away from. Try to get into the mindset of this woman, and try to see the world from her eyes.Now ask yourself - Does she walk around, hoping and praying for some guys attention? Or, does she walk around with complete confidence and self belief, that men would automatically feel attracted to her? Well, such women usually walk around with the complete confidence and self belief, that they will be liked no matter what situation they’re in. This is the mindset where the magic happens because, when you assume the habits of such a woman, mentally, and see yourself as someone who deserves attraction, you will start getting the same result these women get.

Guys, will naturally see you as someone of very high value, and feel the need to impress you. shared this very process with a female friend recently. She was having a lot of difficulties with her dating life. She was strugglingwith keeping a man interested in her. I made her do something weird. I asked her - assume that every guy was so attracted to you, that he couldn't control himself. Will that change your actions around them? Absolutely, she replied.

Then, I asked her to point out everything she was doing around various men so far, things which could have been contributing factors to her failure with men. Here is a small list of what she told me…

- I’m usually the first one to call them.- I give in to their requests easily.- I always ask them what they think of me, or whether they like meor not.- I get really excited before a potential date.- I sometimes do things I regret, and feel guilty about later. So in a nutshell, everything she did was demonstrating lower value and it was no wonder she

was struggling around these men. You see, for her the battle was internal. So, I asked her to do the complete opposite of what she was currently doing.In other words, instead of being the first one to call the guy, I asked her to assume that she was the most attractive woman out there, and let the guy call her first. Instead of easily giving into their requests, make them work a little before you give in.

Low value things:Low Value Behaviors High value behaviors- I must try hard to impress him; otherwise he might not like me.- If I tell him how much I like him, he will like me back.- I’m scared of sharing my true views about him because; I don’t know how he will react.- I must put him first, above everything else; after all, he means the world to me.- Love is really hard to find, so when you find your dream man, you must work hard to keep him because, you won’t find another one like him.

High value things:- I don’t need to impress him, rather, he should be the one making efforts to win my approval.- I know that I can’t convince him to like me, nor do I want to.- I openly share my views, and don’t fear his disagreement.- I don’t put his needs above mine, nor do I put my life on hold to match his standards.- The concept of the soul mate is a myth. Working hard on a man doesn’t make him like you more; rather, it makes him absolutely hate you.

Men desire buble

So now, I would like to transition into the next part and tell you 2 really important truths about men, which simply can’t be ignored…

Truth # 1 – Men are always fighting their inner urges… Life for a man is pretty complicated. Much more complicated than you can ever imagine. Do you know why? It’s because, majority of the men don’t understand their own psychology and emotions, and are in a reactive mode. So just think about it – When you catch your man looking at other women and call him out on it, he won’t really have a good enough reason or answer for it.Becuase the truth is – It’s not an easy answer either way.

Deep down, he is really fighting his strong inner urges, which were given to him by good old Mother Nature. But then, he also has expectations from your

end and the society as a whole, which just confuses him. In fact, some men can take this as a personal attack on their freedom, when they are judged for staring at other women.

Truth #2 – When you understand his weaknesses, you turn into his ultimate dream girl… This is completely counter-intuitive, and isn’t something most women even understand, let alone actually try.

Truth #2 – When you understand his weaknesses, you turninto his ultimate dream girl… This is completely counter-intuitive, and isn’t something most women even understand, let alone actually try. You see, his mindset and actions around you, will be completely different to his actions around other women once you get this. In other words, he will find himself in a consistent state of desire for you, and will find it hard to think of anyone else but you. Now, the next question is – How do you actually do it? How do you make him feel a consistent level of desire for you?

The formula is quite simple – In order to keep him consistently attracted to you, you need to make sure he remains in the bubble of desire. But, what is this bubble of desire? Well, it basically means a state of mind, where a man feels a strong need to capture you. In other words, it is a state of mind, where whenever he thinks of you – He experiences strong feelings of love and attraction for you. So, how does it actually work? Well in order to make him stay in the bubble of desire, you need to do 2 really important things…

1- You need to give him the illusion that he has captured you.2- You break that illusion once in a while, and let him work a little harder, to capture you again.

The reason why this happens, is because he has captured you, and now the chase has ended. As long as a woman is a big challenge, a man will find himself emotionally charged, and is ready to do anything to get her. So, when you give him the illusion that he has captured you, you are showing him that he does have a little access to you, but, he still doesn’t have complete access.

This means, the moment he feels that he has completely captured you, you must do something which indirectly shows him that there is a lot more to do, and he might have to work a little harder. So, the lesson was simple here – When the man knew that he had captured the girl, he suddenly felt – Okay, so what’s next now? The thing is – If you just take action and stop over-analyzing things, you will be surprised at how quickly your life actually changes.

Coolness factor

Conclusion #1 – Don’t take the product to the customer, let him rather Come to the shop…Here is the big lesson - You can’t take the product to his house and convince him to buy it, rather, you have to generate enough curiosity within him about you, which makes him come running to you.

Conclusion #2 – Scarcity is more important than quality of the product… You could be an absolutely wonderful woman, who has her life in order, but that’s not enough anymore, you need to trigger enough tension and curiosity in his mind about you. But, most women take the opposite route. They try to logically convince a guy, to notice their qualities. However, the issue is that, doing it that way never works.

Conclusion #3 - Let him come to his conclusion, rather than trying toConvince him… Never ever ask a guy where things are headed. Never ever ask him – “So, what do you think of me” or “When will I see you again?” All these are examples of you trying to convince a man to notice, or like you. This is the same as trying to demonstrate the general qualities of a product in hopes that, he is eventually going to buy it.

To define it in the most simple terms, coolness factor is about being that one cool and easy going girl, who is free from all emotional insecurities, and has this positive/cool aura about herself.

I was in conversation with Andrea over the phone one day, when I decided to play one of my tricks on her. I said – “You know Andrea, I like you, but I don’t know if we could get along.” Most women usually ask me why I think we won’t get along, and then I indirectly put myself in the position of power. It’s a little sneaky, but has worked for me every single time I’ve used it. However, in the case of Andrea, I was about to get a very unpleasant surprise. The moment I said this sentence, I had a little grin plastered across my face, as if, I knew that Andrea will ask me why I think that, and then I would make her run after me. But instead of asking me why, she changed the whole game around and said – “Oh Cool! So now I can date Chad. He seems to like me a lot.”

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. The more I got to know Andrea, the more I started to like her. I had never ever come across a woman, who was such a joy to be around, and when I say that, I truly mean it. Never once did she discuss anything negative with me, nor, did she ever complain about anything going on in her life. When she did have any problems, she would ask me for my opinion, however, by the end, she

always used to say – Don’t worry! I’ll handle it. The more I got to know her, the more my mind felt attached to her.

…She never chased after me, or even hinted that she was too into me. …She was never too eager for my attention; rather she welcomed me when I went to her, and never tried to pull me when I was away. …She never made efforts to make me like her, rather, she presented her best self, which naturally attracted me. …She never demanded respect from me, however, any time she felt like she was being disrespected, she just took space and avoided me. In other words – She made her point by actions, not words.So, how can one develop the coolness factor? It’s very simple, and requires you to do one thing, which is…

Be emotionally independent…I can’t tell you how important this one point is, not only in regards to men and relationships, but life as well. The issue is that most women sooner or later, display certain tendencies, which indicate that they are dependent on their man emotionally. It could be something as simple as demanding his time, effort or help. As long as you are emotionally independent, you will never have any trouble with men and relationships, and will easily get all the love, desire and devotion you desire from any man, without even having to ask for it.

The same is true of you. Whether talking to your ex over coffee or out with friends, the smile on your face becomes an irresistible magnet to everyone around you, ESPECIALLY men. They see it and immediately want to know you. Who is this happy, attractive, alluring woman and why am I not talking to her right now? When you frown a lot and are less than impressed with the world around you, things are different. Men avoid you (unless they go for that kind of thing) and your ex is continuously reminded of just how hard it was to have a conversation with you.

23 Things Men Wished You Knew… But Would Never Tell You To Your Face – By Anna Wilson

Secret 1: Respect. If you want to be successful with men, it is absolutely essential to show a man that you respect him. You may feel that respect but take it for granted that he knows how you feel without expressing it and chances are---he doesn’t. “…..She has to respect and love me for who I am.” “……She has to respect what I do for a living and the career I want to have, without wanting to control me or put me on a different path.” “…..She has to be a person who respects me as I do her.”

Secret # 2: Develop a Healthy Self Confidence

In order to attract the right kind of men, you must have a healthy amount of self confidence. If you are self confident and feel good about yourself and what you have to bring to the table in a relationship, men who are also emotionally healthy are attracted to this quality. Well rounded, psychologically healthy, self confident men value these traits in a woman and shy away from females who show an obvious lack of self esteem with little or no confidence in themselves.Here are some typical comments from men who participated in the survey: “…..Confidence. Independent.” “…..Likes herself for who she is.” “…..Someone who values herself instead of always putting herself down.” “…..Confidence about herself.” “…..Confidence, good self-image.” “…..She should have a great life going for herself.”

Secret # 3: Independence is a Virtue Ladies, every day should be Independence Day for you! You should glory in your independence….cultivate it….make being independent a top priority. What kind of independence? Every kind. Financial independence is always nice, of course. But, you should strive to be emotionally independent, too. Now, don’t make the mistake of confusing the term “independent” for being hard to get along with, argumentative or just plain old contrary. These are not attractive personality traits in either gender. Being independent means that you have your own life, your own routine, your own income and are not likely to be emotionally or financially dependent on a man. This is important to many men, maybe even most men, when all is said and done. While men appreciate being perceived as strong and manly, that doesn’t necessarily equate to a desire to have to prop someone else up in every way.“…..more emotionally secure and able to live a life with me, not make me her life.” “…..An independent mind.” “…..I wish she had been more independent.” “…..She should have a great life going for herself.” “…..Independence, doesn't need me for everything.” “…..Don’t like dependency on men/using men.”

Secret # 4: Learn to Be Happy Alone If you want to be happy with somebody else, you must first learn to be happy alone. Too many women feel restless, unfulfilled and unhappy without a man. Although it is perfectly natural to want a partner for life and romantic love, it isn’t natural to be miserably unhappy without them. One thing you must understand before you can ever expect to be happy in a relationship is that nobody can make you happy. The only person on this earth that can make you happy is YOU.

Secret # 5: Get in Touch with Your Feminine Side , the majority of men glory in the subtle differences between the sexes and appreciate a truly feminine female “…..Feminine.” “…..Tender and nurturing.” “…..Good homemaker.” “…..Great cook.” “…..Good with

children.” “…..Feminine charm.” “…..Sweet and feminine.” “…..Femininity.” “…..Be feminine.”

Secret # 6: Don’t Be a Control Freak Are you a control freak? Do you feel that you must exert a tight control over every area of your life, including your relationships with the opposite sex? Does it seem likely to you that if you relinquish complete control in a relationship, your male partner will make a mess of things?“…..Controlling.” “…..Feeling forced or coerced to doing something or behaving in certain way.” “…..Too dependent and controlling.” “…..Just trying to have everything their way or no way.”

Secret # 7: Be a Good Listener If you want a man to listen to you and what you have to say, you need to first learn to listen to him and really hear what he has to say. All too often, we have a tendency to talk at someone instead of with them. This can be the Kiss of Death to a romantic relationship. “…..Excellent Understanding & Communicator.” “…..Talk less and listen more.” “…..Talking 'at me' NOT 'with me' Why ... because it means she is not listening or not interested in my views or observations.”

Secret # 8: Keep It Real Sometimes, women want to find the perfect man so badly that they overlook glaring deficiencies or bad character traits in men, hoping that in spite of evidence to the contrary, this flawed individual will miraculously be transformed into someone for a good relationship. If a man isn’t kind, caring or compassionate, you can’t imagine him into being any other way. He is what he is and all of your wishing won’t change that.

Secret # 9: Look Your Best Men are visual. Once you recognize this incontrovertible fact, you will understand that smart women work at looking their best in order to be attractive to men. “…..Takes care of herself as in hygiene and appearance.” “…..Taking care of herself.” “…..Attractive.” “…..Neat and inviting at all times.” “…..Attractive - takes care of herself.” “…..Neatness.”

Secret # 10: Try a Little Tenderness Males have long been leery of allowing their more tender feelings to show, believing this is less macho and makes them seem like wimps.This doesn’t mean that you should go all misty eyed and syrupy sweet every time you’re with a man. It means that at the appropriate times, when a little tenderness and caring would probably make him feel better if he has had a bad experience or a loss of some sort, you show him some tenderness. You might be surprised at the benefits this will reap for your relationship.

Secret # 11: Communicate Did you know that communication---or the lack thereof---is one of the top frustrations many men experience in their relationships with women? “…..Communication.” “…..Lack of communication.” “…..Say what you mean and mean what you say.” “…..I can’t read her mind.” “…..Not in a relationship (6 months) but it seems to always be the communication issue for me.” “…..Very secretive and non-communicative about important issues.”

Secret # 12: Neediness Does Not Become You Can we tell it like it is? Neediness is a turn off, in either gender and in any relationship. When someone is too needy, our instinct is usually to pull away and get some distance. “…..Not needy.” “…..Low maintenance.” “…..Independence (doesn't need me for everything)” “…..Isn't a drama queen and needy.” “…..Not so needy.” “…..Independent

Secret # 13: A Little Mystery is a Good Thing If you think that in order for a romantic relationship to be successful each person should be an open book---you’re wrong. The plain, unvarnished truth is that a little mystery is a good thing. A woman who retains a touch of mystery is attractive to men. She has an aura of mystique that often challenges a man to plumb her spiritual depths and learn more about her. It’s a challenge few men can resist! If you have a compulsion to spill everything about yourself to a man as soon as possible, resist it. Instead, be like a flower, opening one petal at a time….slowly….and never open them all. Bear in mind that men and women both like a challenge and that nobody puts as much value on something too easily come by.

Secret # 14: Honesty is the Best Policy When it comes to being successful with men, honesty really is the best policy! As a matter of fact, most men who perceive a woman as being less than honest are quite unhappy about this dishonesty and it can be a major issue in the relationship. Enough so that some men will end the relationship if they don’t believe they can rely on a woman’s honesty in certain areas or every area.

Secret # 15: Fine Tune Your Flirting Skills One of the things men find most attractive and appealing in a purely feminine way is a woman who has mastered the art of flirting. Fine tuning your flirting skills can play a huge part in attracting men and keeping them interested once the initial attraction is a thing of the past. Men love to have a woman flirt with them! It’s flattering to their egos, it makes the woman seem more alluring and attractive to them and they perceive a woman who knows how to flirt as sexy and worth their time and attention. Generally speaking, you should flirt in a way that is noticeable enough to capture a man’s

interest and attention, but not come on so strong that you seem to be promising more than you are planning to deliver---right away, anyhow. Try casually brushing against his arm, making and holding eye contact long enough to send a clear signal, lightly touching his shoulder or hand….along with many other flirtatious techniques that would serve you well. Don’t save flirting for capturing a man’s attention and then put it on the shelf once the relationship is cemented. To be successful with men, consider flirting as something that should be an ongoing thing and a way to keep your man wanting to be with you. A word of caution: While most men enjoy female flirting, don’t practice it on their friends or other men while in their presence. They don’t like that at all and why should they? Practice and hone your flirting skills to increase your chances of success with men!

Secret # 16: Set Boundaries For instance, if you are dating a man and he is late for no valid reason or stands you up, will you continue to go out with him? Or will you set some boundaries and stick to them about how much of this sort of thing you are willing to go along with? If a man is chronically very late, throwing a monkey wrench into plans the two of you had made for the evening, will you overlook it and accept it as business as usual? Or will you decide that three strikes and he’s out? If you want to be successful with men, you must learn how to set boundaries. Men respect a woman who sets boundaries and doesn’t allow herself to be treated badly or have those boundaries ignored. Setting boundaries is healthy and instrumental in being successful with men.

Secret # 17: You Aren’t His Mother Women who want to be successful with men understand that even though most men appreciate a feminine woman with a softer, nurturing side….they don’t want to be mothered. “…..*Nagging*” “…..Bossy.” “…..Tries to tell me what to do.” If you find yourself sounding maternal, scolding your man like a little boy for not wiping his feet when he comes through the front door, or chiding him because he didn’t eat all of his veggies, etc.…..STOP.

Secret #18: Don’t Try a Makeover Too many woman make the fatal mistake of trying to change a man after they have entered into a relationship and learn to their sorrow that it doesn’t work. “…..Wants to change me, can't accept me for who/what I am.” “…..Too much criticism of me.” “…..Very picky, demanding and overly critical.” “…..Became less approving and accepting of me.”

Secret # 19: Compliments Work Wonders A wise woman who understands human nature realizes that all of us want admiration and approval. When it comes to men, flattery may not get you everywhere, but it will take you a lot further than being critical or

withholding words of praise or compliments. This doesn’t mean that you should shower a man with saccharine sweet words of praise you don’t really feel, because he will spot your insincerity and feel insulted or demeaned by it. At the very least, he will lose respect for you. Surely, if you are attracted to a man, you can find things to compliment him on. If you can’t manage to dredge up at least a few words of honest flattery for things you admire or approve of about him….you don’t need to be with the man, anyway.

Secret # 20: Be Trusting and Trustworthy Don’t get the idea that because this law is further down the list it isn’t as important as others, because it most emphatically is! Trust is one of the most sensitive issues with the majority of men. They want to be able to trust you and they want you to trust them. It is a hot button issue and one that comes up with regularity in surveys given to men about their relationships with women. “…..She's loyal.” “…..Loyalty.” “…..Faithful.” “…..Trust.” “…..Fidelity.” ..TRUSTFUL.”

Secret # 21: Respect His Space You have probably heard some of the talk about men needing space. It isn’t just so much psycho babble. It’s true. Men need space and women do, too. We all have a need for a small, private and inviolate place where we can retreat within ourselves if the urge strikes us. An inner sanctum, a safe haven for the mind and spirit where we can be completely alone.

Secret # 22: Cultivate a Sense of Humor It is true that finding the love of your life is a serious matter, but don’t be too awfully grim if you want to be successful with men. The fact is that almost all men want a woman with a good sense of humor. Laughter is a shared social communication between two people that binds them together in a similar emotion. It builds intimacy, strengthens the bonds of the relationship and creates an immediate atmosphere of happiness and good will that lingers on to make wonderful memories as a couple. “…..Good sense of humor, able to laugh at herself and at me.” “…..Sense of humour.” “…..Funny.” “…...Humor, can tell a good joke, and get my jokes.” “…..Joyful.” “…..Sense of humor and ability to tease me in a fun way.” “…..And most importantly must have a sense of humour.” “…..Needs to be able to laugh at life.”

Secret # 23: Make Him Feel Desirable Ladies, if there was one theme that dominated the surveys referred to here that were given to men about what they look for in an ideal woman, or what frustrates them about women, or why they might have been unfaithful to or even left a woman…..it is sex. “…..Sexy.” “…..Enjoys lovemaking.” “…..Wants to have sex with me often.” “…..Willing to have sex in unusual places.” “…..Very sexual.” “…..Has an active interest in sex.” “…..Enjoys

sex and intimacy.” “…..Good in bed.” “…..Likes sex.” “…..Sexual nature.” And so on and so on…..sex was mentioned again and again as a top trait for a “dream woman.”

Behaviors, which trigger attraction…1- A woman who isn’t easy to get.2- A woman who is unpredictable.3- A woman who is emotionally mature.4- A woman who sets boundaries & has a certain standard that should be met before she lets a man into her world.5- A woman men consider irresistible.

5. A woman men consider irresistible.Do you know that men have a secret code, which they use when it comes to the topic of women? A common line most men tend to use to describe a highly attractive woman is, ‘A woman that's irresistible’. Now what exactly is a highly irresistible woman in the eyes of men? This is a woman who isn’t just too hard to get, has high standardsset and is emotionally mature, but she is also someone who doesn’t let a man get physical too fast. Some women get carried away too fast and often end up confessingtheir feelings to the guy too early in the relationship. When that happens, the guy goes through a strange emotional process where he thinks, Ok! So I have her…now what?And the tension and attraction you build by displaying all the traits of a high quality female are gone.

First of all—you should never let a man know what you truly feel about him early on because it only scares and overwhelms him. Rather you should keep it a secret.

Don’t act too interested and at the same time don’t act too uninterested. This will keep him a bit confused but at the same time highly curious. As we have already discussed, men take much longer to commit in comparison to women. Therefore instead of expecting the plant to grow overnight, give it time. As long as he isn’t truly sure about whether you are completely into him or not…attraction will always be there.

The Real Secrets behind What Drives A Man To Pursue Certain Kinds Of Women And Avoid The Rest

And now you might be thinking, so, what makes them feel this way? Remember in the section on attraction we talked about how your behavior

influences what a man feels around you? Here is a list of things, which will help you be that “something special” woman:

- Always be in a positive mood and always act as if a lot of positive things are going on in your life. Men rarely come across women who are easy going and havesomething good going on in their life. Most women talk more about everything that is wrong in their life rather than focusing on everything that is right.

- If you screw up, learn to laugh about it.Most women want everything to be perfect from the word ‘go’. The very thought of doing something wrong scares them to death. But when you learn to accept that fact that things are never perfect and screw-ups do happen, something interesting takes place. You stop worrying about getting it all right and start enjoying the process.For example: If you end up spilling your drink in front of a guy, instead of getting all self-conscious and rushing to the washroom, pause for a few seconds and with a smile on your face say, “There I go again…” And then excuse yourself to the washroom.

- Never force anything on a man…Rather let him make up his own mind.A woman who never tries to force a man into doing something or is never looking for ways to control a man always forms a very positive impression. Some women ask a man to do something and when refused, become disappointed and often try to push harder into making him do it. You already know that men pull back when you push hard.

- Be completely honest about the way you think. In other words, don’t alter your ideas just to make the man comfortable. Men always get a positive vibe around women who are very straight forward and honest about what they are looking for. If he asks you a few personal questions it’s completely ok to say, “I’m sorry but I don’t know you well enough to share such things with you.”

- Tell him stories about yourself which demonstrate that you are a high quality woman. “You know I really treat problems as challenges. In fact! I love solving them…I am addicted to the concept of self-improvement.” And this will instantly make him think, WOW! This one seems different than other women I know. I haven’t really come across a woman before who talks like this. This one is fun. I should knowmore about her. Men really enjoy being around women who have a purpose in lifeand want to better themselves.

- Don’t ask him any personal questions.The moment you ask a man whether he has a girlfriend—he knows that you’re interested in him and he might take that as needy behavior. It’s a sign of a low quality woman. You should not talk about that subject at all and act as if you can’t be really bothered if he is single or not. Never try to get all the information in just one conversation. Smart women know that there is always another day. Now let me give you a list of things you should never do, unless you want to make the man avoid you…

- Stop asking him how he feels about you.- Never discuss your issues or problems and expect him to Listen.- Never tell him about your bad relationships in the past unless you are at a point where it’s important to be transparent.

1) I am successful in everything I do2) My life is filled with abundance3) Every cell in my body vibrates with positive energy 4) I am worthy of love 5) I easily manifest my dreams 6) I am calm and relaxed in every situation 7) Money flows freely and abundantly into my life 8) My potential is limitless9) My heart is a magnet that attracts more of everything I desire10) I radiate love and happiness every single day

There is a secret about men that lots of women don’t get.

And that is, if a man isn’t ATTRACTED to a woman, all of her attempts to share a connection, convince him to like her, and to feel and share love are useless. They not only don’t work - they can actually make things worse.

In this article, I want to help you avoid this painful and frustrating situation in your own future... Avoid the “Weak” Strategies HeWon’t Respond to Women develop certain strategies that they think are going to work to get a man’s interest and attention.

The first strategy is what I call “BRIBERY.”

It’s when a woman tries to “be nice” by buying a big gift or doing something to show a man how much she thinks about him, like helping him solve some personal problem without him asking... or running errands for him. If you have a man that you “like” in a romantic way, and he doesn’t “feel it” for you, and you do something nice for him, he will not only NOT like you more,

but he will most likely distance himself from you. When you start pursuing him and talking about how you feel, you create negative tension. He’ll get that “yikes” feeling and withdraw.

Another weak strategy is what I call “CONVINCING.”

This is when you tell a man how you really feel about him and how much you want to be with him in hopes that he will “see the light” and proclaim his feelings for you too... as if that’s part of the necessary process of getting a guy. I mean, men know when they are getting “vibes” that a woman is into them. And for the most part, they feel it’s harmless and maybe even mildly flattering. But when you start pursuing him and talking about how you feel, you create negative tension. He’ll get that “yikes” feeling and withdraw.

And finally, there’s what I call the “FREE SEX” strategy.

Another name for this is “friends with benefits.” You’re using sex to try to “make” a man feel it for you. After all, the more you’re with him that way, the deeper your feelings get for him. So why shouldn’t it work the same way for HIM, right? Wrong.

How To Keep Him Hooked Without Playing Games

Men are genetically wired to pursue or chase.

Your job is to trigger this pursuit gene & make him come for you Not just once or for a short while, but keep coming and coming and coming – like that Energizer bunny on commercials. If you’re in a relationship this point is still very important! You can

trigger this same gene no matter whether you are single or in a relationship, so pay close attention. Let me give you some reasons why it’s important for you to trigger this pursuit gene. Men have been genetically wired to pursue women. They have always chased women from the early caveman history and on.

There’s a reason for those caveman cartoons that show a man dragging a woman by the hair, or those ancient Greek myths telling about women being stolen away. Remember Helen of Troy? She not only had Paris wanting her so badly he stole her from her husband, but her husband gathered his whole

army to go and get her back! Women always get pursued and men pursue. It’s within a man’s natural make up to do all the work necessary to pursue a woman.

He naturally feels inspired to do all the work necessary in order to pursue you. It’s not something, which can be taken out of him. He can’t help but act on this pursuit instinct whenever you trigger it.

Step 1 – Get him to pursue you by making him invest more in you

There is a right way to do it and then there is the wrong way. I’d like to first point out the wrong way since this is the most common route women take. The wrong way is when you do things or pretend to do things to earn his attention. Most men can see through that and will know within seconds that you’re trying to trick him into something. He won’t fall for it. You don’t have to be fake in order to get his attention.

Let me now point out the right way. The right way is to get the power or balance back. Which is this – His investment in you should be equal to or more than your investment in him. Ok, I can just see you scratching your head and going, ‘Huh? What does that mean?’

In other words, where is the balance in your daily dealings with him? Are you the one giving more and getting less? If you invest a lot in a guy and he doesn’t invest with an equal amount – or more – in return, there is bound to be an imbalance. Consequently, he will start taking you for granted because you are giving him easy access to you and also doing the work, which he is supposed to be doing since he is a man and is naturally wired to do. Here are a few examples, which illustrate that you are giving more & getting

less…- You pick up after him all the time.- You always call but he rarely calls.- You do loving things all the time but he acts indifferent.- You keep him on top of your list of priorities while he gives you the average treatment.

So the big secret is - take a few steps back when you know he isn’t as invested in you as you are in him. You must have seen this exact same

process work time after time between men and women. When one partner gives a lot to the other, the other one naturally

takes the giver for granted. In reaction, the giver ends up trying harder to earn more of the attention of the taker because he/she expects something in return for what he/she gave.

Just getting this one thing right will give you unparalleled amounts of power in your daily dealings with your man. So before I go further, I hope you are clear on this concept. In order to hook him, you have to invest less in comparison to his investment in you.

That way he will always keep working for your attention. Now let me tell you how you can successfully use this in your life. Pull back a little when you feel that you are investing more and he isn’t returning the favor. For example: let’s say that he hasn’t called you for a few days when he used to call you every single day. Instead of calling him or texting him asking why he hasn’t contacted you, take two steps back and give him some space. Don’t call him, don’t text him. Just wait. Don’t go to him for attention anymore, let him come to you. In fact! Do not answer his calls or texts for the next few days. This will instantly trigger his pursuit gene and he will think – Where is she nowadays? Why isn’t she answering my calls when she used to

instantly answer them in the past? Is something wrong?

You see when you stop doing all the giving. It will naturally hook a guy. He will do the work necessary to give you more. Now that you understand the concept of give & take…I feel we should get to the2nd important step…

Step 2 – Make him see you as a valuable asset…

Do you know why diamonds are so expensive in comparison to other rocks commonly found? It’s not because they’re shiny and nice looking. It’s because they’re a rare commodity and not easily found. As a result people place a higher value on them. Similarly you have to position yourself as a highly valuable asset in his eyes if you want to keep him hooked for long. A guy will only work hard to keep your attention and interest as long as he knows

that you are valuable and he isn’t going to easily find another one like you.

In order to achieve this you have to start by treating yourself like

the precious commodity you were always meant to be. The problem with our present day society is that women don’t value themselves enough and don’t believe they have anything of value to offer. A good example of this is a conversation I was having with a group of female friends recently. I asked them to write 10 amazing things about themselves or positive traits they felt they possessed. Sadly most of them struggled to come up with 5. In the same experiment asked them to mention 10 negative things about themselves, things they felt they were lacking. Surprisingly women easily came up with 10 and some listed so many that they filled up sheet after sheet.

It’s no wonder that so many women struggle in their relationships! When they can’t see any value in themselves, how can they expect man to see any value in them? It all starts with accepting yourself, flaws and all, knowing that you are still valuable regardless of what others think of you or what you think of you. That attitude will translate in your body language and you will see yourself doing things that make you naturally attractive in a man’s eyes. You won’t do special things to earn his love or overcompensate to earn his love. You will be your best self most of the time and will display your best attitude in a way which will make him value you as well.

Alright, so now let’s do a quick review on what we’ve learned so far. You understand that in order to keep a guy hooked you have to let him pursue you and in order to achieve that you have to follow2 simple steps, which are – Let him invest more in you and position

yourself as a valuable asset in his eyes. Now when you put these steps into action there are a few things which will take place that I need to tell you about.1 – He will act weird for a while. This will happen because he isn’t used to you behaving this way and as a result will feel a little out of his comfort zone. Consequently you will see it in his daily dealings with you and actions. He made give you these ‘odd looks.’ Almost as if he’s

trying to figure you out. He may even ask questions like, “What ‘sup with you these days?” He may even think you have another guy in the background! Don’t take any of it personally.

2 – You might feel tempted to fall back to your old behavior. All I can say is that if you go back to your old ways it will bring you back to stage 1 and you might have to put in twice the effort to

hook him again. Better to stick to the plan, no matter what.3- You might vary between your old self & your new self. This is the most common thing that happens. Women start taking

action on the plan then return to their old behavior momentarily, then try to put the plan into action again, then again go back to their old behavior. What a see-saw! It’s not only confusing to you, but to him as well! This will make a guy irritated and he will definitely know that you’re putting on an act to intrigue him. Eventually it will ruin everything.

Alright, now that you know what to do and what to avoid, let me tell you what will happen when you put this plan into action the right way…

When you practice these two steps consistently, you’ll see almost instant change in your man’s attitude towards you. He’ll start treating you like the princess you were always meant to be. He won’t act hot and cold anymore, he will keep your needs in mind, he won’t take you for granted and will naturally give you the love and respect you truly deserve. You’ll feel better about yourself, and so will he.

3 Steps That'll Make His Mouth Water For You

For now, here are some quick steps that will get you feeling like you are the pie he CRAVES:

1. Imagine that the man you're with right now (even if you're simply standing in line in a coffee house and a man in the corner merely makes eye contact with you - for that moment, you're WITH HIM!)... imagine that he WANTS WHAT YOU HAVE.

That HE wants YOUR PIE.

If that sounds sexual, in a way it is. To me, a pie is not just delicious and yummy TASTING - it's SOFT, it's gooshy, it's wet - it's everything you are.

2. Think of yourself as a pie.

There's taste to you - yes, and men love the taste of a woman, no matter what WE might believe in our "off" moments...

There's texture to you. There's color. There's a burst of flavor that happens when a man gets to know you, like when a pie hits your taste buds.

Sometimes there are seeds, if it's a fruit pie - like your prickly and imperfect qualities that are actually totally endearing to a man.

Sometimes there's whipped cream or meringue on top that gets on your face and stays with you. (And that's the way HE feels about you when he kisses you - no matter what YOU think he thinks.)

There are SO MANY PARTS to this piece of pie - the crust, the filling, the sauce, the topping - everything is different, and yet it all works TOGETHER. You are a recipe that's uniquely YOU.

3. Next time you see a man, feel something stir inside you, and then hear your mind instantly go into its "I can't have him, he wouldn't be interested, what am I doing even thinking he'd want me" old, useless mental tape - STOP FOR A SECOND.

Take a breath, and imagine that YOU ARE THE PIE. Say it out loud to yourself: "I AM THE YUMMY PIE."

Let all the images and feelings of that come up, and if you recognize guilt and disbelief and anger and frustration showing up, use all my Rori Raye Tools you have right now to go through them. Listening to my Heart Connection Toolkit often is a great way to build the Tools naturally into your daily life.

===THE SECRET===

As long as a man knows that you are out of his reach, he will move mountains and do all the weird things to make you want him.Doesn’t sound like a secret, does it? Well, don’t lead to any conclusions yet. Next time you’re with a guy, try saying the following to him…

“John! Lately I’ve been thinking that we make really good friends but we’re a little odd as a couple. Don't you think?”

And then see the shocked look on his face. What did you do here? Well you indirectly told him that you are out of his reach and he might have towork a little harder to keep you.

Or if you are only in the dating phase of your relationship try the following line… “John, You are an amazing guy, in fact you have all the qualities I look for in a man, but I think we’re really good as just friends. What do you think?”

And once again, you will find yourself pleasantly shocked at how hard a man pursues you after this point.

Why the heck does it work? Well, I don’t know. All I know is that it works. That’s all . Would you like to learn a better way on how to do this very thing? Yes? Well follow this link

Relationship Tool: I Am All That

1. Imagine that your attractiveness is boundless, your eyes are magnets, your heart is an open pool of gold that every man wants to dive into, and your body (no matter what you think) is a lush place that every man longs for, feels awestruck just thinking about getting close to, and yet feels safe within. Really imagine that's what he sees, thinks and feels.

“They'll want to know what it is that makes you feel so confident, and they'll want to get in on your I'm all that!”2. When any doubts, fears, and negative thoughts come up, simply tell them to step aside.

3. Paint this picture of boundless attractiveness for yourself in your imagination right now, this moment, and keep it going all day and night, no matter what happens.

4. Once this imaginary picture is in your mind, and the good feelings it brings are in your heart and body, you'll notice something amazing happening. When you're in the market, at the drugstore, walking down the street, waiting in line at the coffee house - you will begin to experience yourself as a magnet for men. Then...

5. Lean back. Actually tilt your body backwards - to keep your energy in "receiving" mode while you're imagining every man you meet (especially the

one you may be in a relationship with right now) giving energy to you.

We light candles whenever he comes over. We put on our sexiest clothes and buy lacy lingerie.

Watch The Magic Unfold

Once you start practicing this Tool - and I mean make it a habit every day - you'll find that your love life takes a huge leap in the right direction. Why? Because you have created the very feelings within you that you have so desperately tried to get from a man. And that is very empowering - not to mention extremely attractive.

I've put together many life-changing, self-esteem boosting tools like this in my eBook.

Practicing these Tools, and mastering them, is the first step to feeling so good and so at ease within yourself that men will literally be flocking to be by your side. They'll want to know what it is that makes you feel so confident, and they'll want to get in on your "I'm all that"!

Everyone feels so rushed these days - for a man to meet a person who has all the time in the world for him, who isn't feeling rushed to make a quick impression, who can take a breath and actually listen to HIM is amazing.

1. SLOW DOWN your speaking.

2. Practice this all day, every day - at the market, at work - ESPECIALLY when you feelstressed.

3. At first - it'll feel like you're talking 1/2 speed, and your body will start urging you to speed up. Don't do it. Now...

4. See if you can get your body to slow down, too - to follow the lead you're setting with your voice.

5. As you start to speak more slowly, and move more slowly - a kind of relaxation will start to show up in your body and your movements - and this is incredibly attractive to a man.

6. It will actually bring out your sensuality -and we all know how attractive that is to a man.

7. As you begin to slow down instead of speed up in "low-risk" situations - you'll start to notice how you're able to slow down more in "high- risk" situations - with a man you're veryattracted to.

And...as you begin to use this Tool - you'll start to notice how a man is much more "into you" when you slow down your speaking and your movements and are able to listen to him easily, without working hard to be attentive.