TOPIC

BUILDING AN HARMONIOUS POLYGAMOUS HOME

A summary of main lecture and contributions at Ikorodu Usrah on Sunday May 18th, 2014

GUEST LECTURER

ALHAJA MONSURAT ADELAJA

CONTRIBUTORS

ALHAJ ABDULGANIYY AFOLAYANAND

ALHAJ MURTADHA GBADAMOSI

COMPILLATION BYALHAJ ABDULKABIR SANNI

POLYGAMY, polygamy is a practice of more

than one spouse at any one time

FORMS OF POLYGAMYPolyamory multiple relationship with

conscent of All

POLYANDRY one wife, multiple husband

POLYGYNY Plural marriage in which a man is allowed more than one wife

Islamic Polygamy: stipulates that a man may marry more than one woman but not more than four

PROPONENTS

Mostly men: are proud in claiming polygamy as their right, There also women who themselves and their sons, daughters and close relations stand to benefit

OPPONENTmostly women: are reluctant to

have co-wives for various reasons.

There are also men who themselves and their Mothers, sisters and Daughters have been, will be or are at the victims

OUR FOCUSThis Lecture is not about who is

right or who is wrong orwhether Polygamy is the rule or

exceptionBut to consider necessary factors

in deciding to go Polygamous ANDfactors that will assist us in

gainning the plesure of Allah if we find ourselves in it

Suurat ul Nisa vs 3

3. ق?س=ط;وا; ت BالD أ ;م? خ=ف?ت =ن? وDإمDا فDانك=ح;وا SىDامD Dت ?ي ال ف=ي SىD ?ن مDث اء= Dس[ الن Dم]ن ;م Dك ل DابDط BالD أ ;م? خ=ف?ت =ن? فDإ DاعD ب وDر; Dث Dال; وDثDت? Dك مDل مDا و?

D أ hةDاح=دDوDف ;وا Dع?د=ل ت;وا Dع;ول ت BالD أ SىD Dد?ن أ Dك= ذSDل ;م? ;ك ?مDان ي

D أ

Suurat ul Nisa vs 3If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.

IMPLICATIONPolygamy is not wajib (a principle in

the Islamic law which must be done that one will be considered sinful if it is not practised)

Polygamy is a relief only in an emergency situation.

is in fact haram (prohibited) for the polygamous husband if he is incapable of being fair and causes a potential abuse to the wife he married.

REASONS FOR POLYGAMY infertility, physical illness, physically not eligible for sexual intercourse, disobedient to the rights for sexual

intercourse, or insanity. Widowhood divorce Uneven population ratio of men to women Any other reason that can make a man or

woman to consider adultery as option or suffer in silence

REASONS FOR OPPOSITIONFEAR OF BEING ABANDONED OR LOOSING

THE HUSBANDSEING AS EVIDENCE OF INCOMPETENCE OR

FAILURE ON THE PART OF WOMENSEING AS PUNISHMENTUNFAIR TREATMENT AFTER WARDREDUCTION IN ATTENTION, CONFORTFEAR OF UNKNOWNFEAR OF PHYSICAL, SPIRITUAL OR

DIABOLICAL ATTACKCOMPLEX NATURE OF HUMAN BEINGINHERITANCE

Conditions for PolygamyIslam is a religion which

acknowledges various human needs and desires

In order to ensure that the practice of polygamy is carried out fairly and to provide harmony to the ummah, Islam has laid down certain conditions which restrict the free practice previously and take a more reasonable fair solution

Conditions for PolygamyPRAYER for GuidanceConsultations (not permission)

with all stake HoldersFINANCIAL CAPABILITY

provision of food,clothing, accommodation, medical and.Education need of the Children

Conditions for Polygamy

PHYSICAL CAPABILITYhusband must have the capability to sexually provide for the wives.

FAIRNESS IS WAJIB

fairness refers to being equal towards all wives without having any preference towards any one wife

clothing, accommodation, turns for night stay and travel

LOVE & AFFECTIONThese feelings are beyond

human control, relative in nature and are not included in the fairness.

Nevertheless, a husband is forbidden to express this difference in emotions as Allah

s.w.t. has said in surah al-Nisa’, verse: 129:

4:129.Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self- restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

ACCOMODATIONthe homes of the wives are best to be

separated as initiative to avoid family feud and jealousy from spreading among the wives.

psychological point of view, grouping all wives together under a single roof might lead them to have misunderstandings which may hurt each others’ feelings.

Ensure that the only thing that is shared is the man’s time

Taking Turns for Night StayA husband must (wajib) decide on a fair

night stay turns among his wives without being biased towards any of the wives. A husband commits a sin should he allocate more night stay turns for a specific wife compared to the other wives. Except

during the first few nights of marriage with a new wife

when there is willingness from any of the wives there can be flexibility

REFERENCES“Among the sunnah is that when

a man marries a virgin, he spends seven nights with her. If it is a widow, three nights”. Anas r.a.

“Sawdah has given her turn to Aisha and Rasulullah has spent the night with Aisha in his turn with Sawdah.”

Be Fair In TravellingAccording to Imam Shafie, a

husband must (wajib) cast a vote amongst his wives if he wishes one of his wives to accompany him while travelling.

the husband must (wajib) compensate the night turn of the wife who has been denied of her rights during his travelling.

IMPERATIVEThere are certain facts that we

must knowStatistics have shown that there

are more women than men. Consider if you, your daughter or sister remain single up to the age of 40 wont you consider polygamy?

Adultery is a worse option,we must prevent human beings from adultery

CONCLUSIONPOLYGAMY IS HALAL, SACTIONED BY ALLAH Whoever rejects any part of Quran can not be a Muslim

POLYGAMY NOT WAJIB & SHOULD BE EMBRACED ONLY IF THERE IS NEED FOR IT

EVEN AT THAT THE CONDITIONS MUST BE MET

MEN & WOMEN WHO FIND THEMSELVES IN IT SHOULD CONSIDERED IT AS ACT OF IBADAH SERVICE TO ALLAH