Don’t Judge a Troll by it’s Looks

by Ben Reinstein

Prologue

“Oh, there you are. I’ve been expecting you to come. I’m Todd. People know me as

the big, stupid troll. But, I’m really not. I’m actually just like you. Anywho, I need to get my

narrator to tell you my story. He wasn’t cheap by the way. EARL? EARL! WHERE ARE

YOU? Oh, there you are. Now tell these readers my story, alright? I’m gonna’ finish my

movie. Enjoy the story.”

* * * * *

“...you’re gonna need a bigger boat,” BOOM! CRASH!

Todd the troll was just enjoying watching his all time favorite movie: Jaws. Since he

had no friends, all he could really do was watch movies all day in his crummy old cave.

Spiders crawled everywhere, dust on the ground, water leaks on the ceiling. Todd wanted

friends more than anything in the world.

Todd was snuggling with his dirty “teddy bear”. More like a teddy monster if you

ask me.

You know what would make this the ultimate experience? Some popcorn! Todd

thought to himself. Todd paused the movie, slowly got up, took a second to crack his back,

and went to what he called his “kitchen”. Of course he didn’t actually have a refrigerator,

so what he did to store all of his food was to dig a hole and dump all of it in there.

Actually, it was quite organized. Dairy products there, grains there, meats here,

miscellaneous products right over there, and no veggies whatsoever. He climbed down

over to the miscellaneous section and searched for the popcorn.

“Where the heck is my beloved popcorn?”he cried out. He searched and searched

but couldn’t seem to find it! “OH MY GOD!” Todd raced out of his cave not caring so much

about the movie anymore. All he really cared about at that moment was the popcorn.

While he was running to the grocery store, he realized that it would be nice if he

could share the popcorn with someone. That someone could even watch the movie with

him. He realized that this was his chance. He could try to be friendly and make some

friends with strangers. So it was clear. Todd was no longer going to the grocery store to

just get some popcorn, he was also going to the store to make some friends.

When he arrived at the store, “All Things Good”, Todd purchased some popcorn

and went over to pay for it. He chose the booth with a very attractive cashier.

“Eey wa-wa-wassup...” Todd took a glimpse at her nametag. “....Di- Di- Dianne,” Todd

stammered. He was very attracted. The cashier on the other hand, was horrified.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! SECURITY COME QUICK! THERE’S A... A THING

TRYING TO KILL ME!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! HELP!” the cashier screeched. She

was waving her arms like she was playing a soccer game yelling, “I’m OPEN!” But she was

really yelling, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! OH MY GOD!!! SAVE

ME!!!” she screamed.

Todd was as startled as ever. Well, not really. He was really used to these kinds of

incidents. But what really bugged him was what the cashier had called him: a thing. He had

never imagined or thought of of himself as a thing.

Thing.

Thing.

Thing.

Thing.

Thing. The word kept on bouncing in his head.

Thing.

Thing.

Thing. He wanted it to stop! Finally after forty-five minutes, it paused. Then he

remembered about Jaws. He wasn’t in the mood for Jaws. He was in the mood for a drama

that was more uplifting

FORREST GUMP! Todd loved Tom Hanks. He walked down to the movie shop, when

he thought, (GASP!) This is my chance! To make some new friends! Todd raced to the

“deserted” movie store.

Even though Blockbuster was an incredibly messy store, Todd still liked its onion

smell inside. He was a troll, so, trolls like odd aromas. As he walked through the door

Todd noticed that there were only three people in the store. There was a teenager, who

seemed like he couldn’t care less what was going on, an infant who was playing with his

Power Rangers action figure, and a lady who clearly cared about her appearance. She was

wearing something that looked like a wedding dress, bright orange lipstick, holding a

fancy purse which Todd made out that the infant must have scribbled on with green

marker. The woman's eyelashes were as big as an index finger. She looked like she was

very protective of her son. Todd jogged toward the infant. He had to kneel down to talk to

the infant.

“Hey what’s up little buddy?” Todd asked. The infant said nothing. He was too

involved playing with his dinky little Power Rangers toy.

“Kid, uh... what’s your name?” Todd said impatiently.

Still, no answer.

“KID! LISTEN TO ME!”

No answer.

“Kid, I’m trying to be friendly with you, so could you please acknowledge THAT

YOU AND YOUR STUPID, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING SUPER HERO TOY AREN’T THE ONLY

PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE STINKING UNIVERSE!!”

Now, the infant looked up. When he stared up at the big frustrated troll, he

suddenly dropped his Power Rangers toy, with teary eyes.

“MMMMM- MMM- MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! MM- MMMM--” The infant

screamed. The make-up mom came running over to her son.

“LEAVE MY SON ALONE!” the make-up mom screeched. Todd suddenly ran out of

the deserted movie store and kept on running. He knew that things were hopeless. He

needed a friend. A friend. He only asked for one. But why did everybody judge him That,

he will never know. Todd slowed down a bit, and walked with a face full of despair. He

was so desperate.

“I’m gonna need a bigger heart,” Todd muttered to himself. “Aw who am I kidding?

I’m making references to a stupid shark movie, and I’m walking alone with no friends. I’m

a mess!” Suddenly, Todd noticed something odd. Something really odd. Another troll!

walking alone. Like me! Todd couldn’t see if it was a guy or a girl. He guessed guy. He

jogged to the troll in normal speed, but it felt like slo-mo. The other troll knew what Todd

was doing so he decided to jog to him.

Wait! What if he doesn’t want to be my friend. Maybe he doesn’t even want to have to

do anything with me?! UGGHHH! Todd was very worried. Todd’s legs were feeling tired

after all that slo-mo. Finally, they reached each other. Todd was right. It was a guy.

“Uh... hey. I’m Kev,” greeted the troll.

“Hi... Uh, Todd,” Todd replied. “So, you want to... come over to my home-ish cave?”

“Yeah! that’d be great!” They walked home together and talked about what they

would do during their “play-date”.

YESS!!! I cannot believe this!!!!!!! Wait! What if I make a total fool out of myself?! Todd

thought. He didn’t even care. He was filled with too much jubilation.

“What do you want to do at your place?” Kev asked in a quiet voice.

“Well, it’s up to you.”

* * * * *

“And I think you know what happens... blah, blah, blah.

TODD!! I’M DONE! GET OFF OF THAT SILLY, OLD COUCH OF YOURS AND GET

DOWN HERE!”

“Geez! What is your problem?! Kev and I are watchin’ some movies! We’re in the

middle of The Matrix! This better be important!” Todd screamed.

“I’m finished with my story... er- I mean your story,” Earl replied.

“So, you could’ve been a little bit nicer to me considering that I’m PAYING you

$5.00 every ten minutes! You should be careful with me, I’m a troll.” Todd reminded him.

“I don’t have to be careful with you!” Earl retorted.

“Ughhh! I don’t want this to get out of hand! Why don’t I be nice and invite you to

watch the movie with us!!”

“That’d be great!”

“ONLY if you don’t hog the popcorn,” Todd countered.

“Fi-ine!”