To Speak While Dreaming

8/4/2019 To Speak While Dreaming

1/69

t o s p e a k w h i l e d r e a m i n g

*

E l e n i S i k e l i a n o s


2/69

to speak while dreamingwas originally published by Selva Editions (Boulder, 1993).

copyright Eleni Sikelianos

Some of these poems originally appeared in Big Rain, The Black Warrior Review, Bombay Gin, Breakto Open, The Colorado North Review, Concept, Exit Zero, Exquisite Corpse, Feminist Studies, In This

Corner, the little magazine, Mesechabe, The New Censorship, The Santa Barbara News-Press, & TheThrasing Dove Review.


3/69

C o n t e n t s

Locations / 6

A Woman Alone / 7Katie / 8H.D. / 9What I Learned From Sea / 10Thru the Mouth / 29These are the Tones / 30Ringed by the Magdalene / 31This Autumn / 32Auguries / 33More Accurately / 34The Mans Back / 35Love Songs / 37Orpheus & 3 Conversations / 39


4/69

The morning is not yet & will be soon / 41

the place between yr legs / 42who touches this touches a woman / 43You, a someone smoke surrounds / 44Straddled by snow, we go / 45Compost creeps the hot / 46the frame of this or any / 47a wound down sky of / 48Send a messenger a handspan high / 49Tell Euphrates / 50And when she spoke / 51Dont be mad at me / 52HenryV/ 53December bares her teeth & trees drop / 54Lipo via Eiko / 55This is a black geography / 56bring the muse back into the kitchen / 57A History of Ballads / 58having dismantled all trophies / 59What angel do you carry in yr cheek / 60so cranes latins a little off so / 61She who had her nest in your heart / 62We are what the movies have made us / 63America, rise up / 64

This worlds a trumped up charge / 65It is indeed all falling / 66Ill have to ask / 67Im loading up for a tour / 68the 28 constellations of the moon / 69

t h e s o n n e t s


5/69

for many, including my mother, Peter, Poetsdead & living, & many others without whom

I would not be doing what I do.


6/69

LocaLocaLocaLocaLocationstionstionstionstions

ruby-throated most common the one who camein sleep with secrets & mountains openedeach morning in blue under bottle brush tree.That was a place.This, flicker or Clarks nutcracker,in Estes winged creatures keepno secrets silent bird

calls

the Rockies closeinstead of open.

context: a post that cant be openedto words, the ones surrounding me here.As in: Languagesurrounded by fear.My friends all needled in,a homegirls life is at homein trailer park, in bar

to tilt

away from it I cannot adjustto fit, wait for the aperturein vein synthetic fluids form them

& for me poesys violent flow.


7/69

AAAAAWWWWWoman Aloman Aloman Aloman Aloman Aloneoneoneoneone

is like a tubular pregnancyor fishbone

gets stuck in the throatsharp gullet that holds/

holds millionsof diamonds & whale

bone to lock itto force the locket & let

loves diatoms pour forth.

o diaphanous vertebrae! the throesof this woman

the threadsbreak apart


8/69

KaKaKaKaKatietietietietie

all that was ought, a hymn to it& her, bright star or caravelher red shirt

she says she is cynical about it & drawsher sail

a small spiral,helical, a cylinder at bottom

of page, a maze& amazed at her

glasses (i am)so thick-horned & heavy to frame

or something aboutthe sure car of herself,driving sockless, not wrong

& to write without herwould be a sail without windwould be fish or fry

to a spoono!

to give her skirt

or,room


9/69

H.D.H.D.H.D.H.D.H.D.

aortic arch, my apogeeas in aphotic & apetalous lifea caravel or any of several sailing shipscloaked by capuchin went in

to carcinogen & bedeckedby carcanet swiftly

to the neck


10/69

WhaWhaWhaWhaWhat I Learned frt I Learned frt I Learned frt I Learned frt I Learned from Som Som Som Som Seaeaeaeaea

From large bodieskelp-ridden & flot infestedthose waves where i sank

& swam, early morning caughtin sand

boardedwas it sedge

that laced our hair

each handrolled & flecked its finger out

abalone olivellaanemone


11/69

the pools we wandered & werestalked foam lapped

restless slaps

the ankles


12/69

And the point near marshmuck & reed again in morning

path i walked,& in those

wet grey hours, a great blue Heron


13/69

The waves that lappedup shore things

i didnt know that lay there likesoft cnidaria or ctenophone

sprouting colonies on stalk ingentle push, the dark slap

-suction of water,H

20bends

at surfacethats why a bladecan float there


14/69

To get toDevereaux the marshy point i went

each morning from asphaltto sea shore camp

in wild cypress where enchantedbut then also Devereauxa home

a hospitalautism &trisomy21 dwelt there


15/69

My mother, who could neverpay the rent

sentout for another, for

a sidekick, a loversent

her daughterto summer

camp.


16/69


17/69

& when I went backall had been boarded

weeds in the stables,campground &

cabins

covered over


18/69

where Tom told storiesabout the chicken heart that ate New York

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

hed play the part

of the heart.


19/69

The haybins broken

Twice scared by a violinspider in straw

where wedkiss.


20/69

a walk along the high road to kiosk& then the road thru

marsh grassEucalyptus

yarrow vetch poor-willswallow crow, or


21/69

And iwalked each (morning) shoes asleep

in mud i once hada plot of land there

my onlyone


22/69

I couldnt rememberthe dead mans name

Many a time we ate a mealon the stone steps that led up

to the spire, me

& my friend from the resnow dead,

Barbara Dee.


23/69

Monarchs breed onthe track that leads to grave

granite spire to mark a sailor

Colin Powys Campbell Lieut. ColonelCentral Indian Horse Army

1859 1923

& on the other side, Ian Drummond, age 2, his son

theyd cometo bug the Injunsbut crashed

down to sand shored, the strange tumbleweed & dune field jelly comb & yellow flower

tidepools half

a handful wide


24/69

There was no marking,no sign

or cross

for the Chumash


25/69

Sally forth, my dark-eyed waters,my waiter-on-seas

What spirit that swelled thereunder kelp & squall,

the long-nosed eel fish that frightenedme once, far out in the waves

the horse shoe crab half-buried in bay


26/69

The path i talk about leads from other the sideof jailed or crazy or disabledwho scared me when they grimaced

thru the chainlink

12 years & there

a fire ring, wed singsongs where

up in the air junior birdmenup in the air & upside downIll give you two box tops& one thin di - i- ime.


27/69

before i went to search athwart for elf inCypress old stage by sea

where wehad watermelon hunt & feast or

played sardines packed in the hollow

of the bloodthick

trees


28/69

& in the dry

pine & sand, we heard

the sea

where we

drowned

almost many times,

& really.


29/69

ThrThrThrThrThru the Mu the Mu the Mu the Mu the Mouthouthouthouthouth

the hard things that lay there whereblood should go its flow

lumped inrichest

fed smithy,fired in memory

Put a hot hand on it! Oread, meltmelt & maneuvre thru the mouthmolten, not gun metalmeltdown

Texas man kills 22, shoots self

I too am loaded then triggered bya twig or leaf falling, amemory of what has been, whatpast-tense was sap to limb- a little girlsmouth on pap hardenedin resinher mindsa fly in amber heldby lower spinal sorrow

o rosin thy brow tea drinker sinnersing roseate

& gold rhododendron on the mouth-mema membranebrain stretched thin flimflam element a veil a mouthpiecea reed to blow by

what stretches acrosscalifornia means child hooded the hazysea morning over your aies.A mattress to stretch out across is thismem is this sea

row there to lie,stretch strain a descant

slam! o gothere to spread out across & to dreamwhile speaking.


30/69

These arThese arThese arThese arThese are thee thee thee thee the TTTTTonesonesonesonesones

Saturday night screams from State Streetback lot of the Schooner Inn

BITCH! YOURE SUCH A FUCKING BITCH!

His voice deepening dry into concrete, etchesacross parking, rattles gravel

Her words, unheardapologetic tonesher voice

swallowed & lost to dirt


31/69

Ringed bRinged bRinged bRinged bRinged by the My the My the My the My the Maaaaagdalenegdalenegdalenegdalenegdalene

Love,

a many fingered thingmany hammered

a multitude of moods in herblank

sutra,she should rend it, anodyne

to desire

it is height & depth,breadth of gold

on her breathshe craves

nothingbut a room where no voices are heardwhere even the moths

dont make noise


32/69

This aThis aThis aThis aThis autumnutumnutumnutumnutumn

a few barkbits scatter slate, nothing speaksof cat fastasleep on woodpile where firenearby burns.He turns over in bed she, away cantmake a cold hand warm she stays up readingmuch of the night.


33/69

AAAAAuguries.uguries.uguries.uguries.uguries.

To find the rhythms ofthe rhythms of daily

I cantWhere spirituality is a luxury & we are isolatedeven from ourselves.Where my eye closes to the lampshade, the nightpressed up against the window, and voices driftfrom deeper rooms. Next to me,a page turns, and we do not speak.

Next to me, a page turns, & we sleep.


34/69

MMMMMororororore Ae Ae Ae Ae Accccccuracuracuracuracuratelteltelteltelyyyyy

We are alone unto the sunrisehe said

We are alone unto the kitchenunto our chocolate cake

she said, more accurately


35/69

The MThe MThe MThe MThe Mananananans Bs Bs Bs Bs Baaaaack,ck,ck,ck,ck,

pits plums in lowlight, tabledby equations of

love, light leather,harness to bit,

She chomps of oldhers not a fruit

that keeps

Hes inher

nownosabre or pistol

Hes in herhair stiff peak

egg whippedsea foam

mountain lip

in her as pit isto plum, no stonedcherry left

undone. An endrometriumcauldron rises &

in her each month: muchbuild up.

He bathes

while she waits under coverquilted & feathered, fine in

this returnno wagonsor worms, no pony for mail

no model for love, no way


36/69

look up, peony,

engine off door slamshes made the jamnew man

cookscleanssews

but bottle cap to babydoll, bigdifference in men

&women

diced in domino,in ebony & onyx a mean cradled rolling:

out of sea, we creepa species or two ahead

untailed, maimedby

whatbut

Erostook his time-

tables with him when he left

yet he would be in her as gheeis to butter, as seedis to shell, soft

oyster gel in hergutbloom

applewood or plum,bloom, sleek

strata of cellmouth,

bloom, spoutred & ringed in

her & ofwhom?

him.


37/69

LoLoLoLoLovvvvve Se Se Se Se Songsongsongsongsongs

i.

man next to me leafingthru sleep, he leaveshis headlights on, sleepslight allnight. Not rue,sleeps dark wingedhorse & thing in

dream heavy time. His breatha tree spreads

deep.

ii.

Nowim-possible, I amwith needly leg & bandy headed

night what do but banter itup

hid hip underslip cover shock test

cold blanketautumn a.m. as in

latelip to lip we warm it

My legswake up.


38/69

iii.

iv.

Which is something like saying Im a baseballfan & Ive never seena game.

But will play that wide-mirrors arch,poet given water-born Archa cough reflected breathes airoff my armpit, the coughingof the one I love.

v.

This is not the descant I mean to be but

some of us cant carry a tune muchless a letter box or mailstation under the arm.Pit stop, silly. Close yer eyes.


39/69

OOOOOrprprprprpheus & 3 Convheus & 3 Convheus & 3 Convheus & 3 Convheus & 3 Conversaersaersaersaersationstionstionstionstions

Loving like saltwe will go

to hunt a code

a phone line cut offisolated

in a hell in a hole incranked silence

Call the policeto investigate

this scene thisopening door

Pass over this open mouththis beggars alarm

a thief in rags comesteel the words

pluckedfrom the mouth as raisin or grape

o resonateor soak usin oaken casks & pine sap

oh give us this day,Orpheus,our molten bread

the grains like small birds in handthe glitter of oat

barley,wheat

Openthe hand,let us eat.


40/69

T h e S o n n e t sT h e S o n n e t sT h e S o n n e t sT h e S o n n e t sT h e S o n n e t s


41/69

the morning is not yet & will be soonwashed of my eyes& yesterdays & todays undone,those ballasts & ties

i realizeI am always any, other or some but I do pinpoint itsometimes: this is willow or thrombosis & you canlean on me as night, as you mighta pillow, I am a lamp to theewho see a door, who relish a roadway, who move onthru the suffering of a woman, of a man whobecomes bull of seven battles who becomes

undone, whobecomes


42/69

the place between yr legs which is the placearched & describedbetween 2 stars

wounds of a fashion, it was sd,as an orchid, & opens

sweetly confident in sword/Swarm yer battalions, little brother,with honey & ants, inch your waytoward luminous night where wedisarm the eye & bone pipes whistlewith birds singing thru them, our darkcoral in blood swinging from tide to tide,

never arrived, always just begun.Begin. Again.


43/69

who touches this touches a womanI spring into your arms in Whitmanic whatobviously I have nothing

butwhat brings the wind/ what the windhums I doget afternoon dark I dogrow pale & slow & now I comein the wings of itas the world in you I will fetcha strong fahrenheit for youI will count it out,

I will reduce it to indigo I will carry you homelittle by little

in my hands


44/69

You, a someone smoke surroundsare in Antarctica, the machinery in your breathclanks & grinds

(momentary halt)

Send your thots out, let them ridethis carnival affair: air

Sing thru your yer teeth,Hammering oxygen, let your ear acquire me

You are as firm as winter ice & I

am waiting for things to soften, O bigman, fetch the seal oil & anoint us, &remember on your way to the floe:

let fallyr weapons


45/69

Straddled by snow, we goout like a lark like a firegoes out with a hiss, ashes neighin dusty death the way thisvillage has emptied to cold.We are spent in dark woven veins, the milk

hasnt come homesince 1966,

when rue filled uswith country. We cometo this tethered island, our mothers in fullthreshing floor lit for

the bell spills its heart into Sunday,beat of this village


46/69

Compost creeps the hotautumn race & Hyacinthus shoutsat every petals base:

that flower-heros been fooledby a change in season, by suns quick tilting from reason.

Poisonous bulb struck by a discus, thiswest winds got it in for us

Blood numbed, this is aboutthe hyacinth almost bloomed outside my October-

heavy door butO knows more & I

am no good greek, cant tearhair for love

s flower


47/69

the frame of this or anyhouse where i sit without& under

dark cloud cover & there is noroof, just trees w/ their

( regular )

leaves. this is in silhouette

of a maiden, of a fern, of the crow flying straight& all other thingsa bee might make

heres the breakbetween a paper cup

& grass shooting upthe soles of my feet


48/69

a wound down sky ofColorado flies over& over again i say these men these womenthis airplane in my heart oranyones sun undressed There is nothingto express a morning glory or the wayim unhappywith my white ink which spreadscool & uncouth thruout

a closed mouthOh let it church itself right

& into

arrivals cathedral


49/69

Send a messenger a handspan higho You(th), tell me, what secret words I knowYou fly like birds in all directions, cockrowedYouve got your midnight skin onNow that your high tide & blush are overyou go quicker, into the light & ancientCathay can never hold

soft hands to your dressI am impressed

by the newness in the sky & your fastadvancements, your conversations with night,

but Let me in on the secret phone call:I know death, I know womenwho dont get up,I know how they look in the morning.


50/69

TTTTTell Eell Eell Eell Eell Eupupupupuphrahrahrahrahratestestestestes

to see how she gumbled fingers gentlyjointed, she jumbles & scours it up w/legs like a crane, lincoln green

at home in her womaningher saffron paps are unlaced she is

undone as a homemakeror have these hags away!

& yr head aches to see her so nakedtoken exposed, a greedy cormorant

soft, quote one height Sibylshe plucked

my beds of embermy itching finger


51/69


52/69

Dont be mad at me: Rise, rusty goddessmy loves sweet coffin a sorrow,a truant muse,

old Decembers biteis bigger than her bark & we

waiton soft snows

of some shaken house.Let this sad interim like the ocean be

an elemental thangDid I chide dark

flowers for turning? This is the low of it:

Strong microscopes made men &out of you, a women tightens her necktie


53/69

HHHHHenrenrenrenrenryyyyy VVVVV

guard the crown in yr hearthell rake there for it.

metal posturegreyhound cannon speaks mettletrumpet mines beseiged myspeech O discipline knavebeseech this half-fleur buried heartsilver pike splits it we

no longerawe defensible winter

coming on, retire, o callalilyto that bitter mouthof soft snow


54/69

December bares her teeth & trees droptheir load as snow,as leaves. This season slaps where

There are sirenswhen I cry, & tongue-tied

emotion rides sidesaddle to the threshing floor. Its a ground in full in

earths iced belly, this house seeks heat whileHands

spread backtheir sap & gently shake

O Open, palm, iris, see

winters funny parachutes withEyes to wonder straight


55/69

LiPLiPLiPLiPLiPo via Eo via Eo via Eo via Eo via Eikikikikikooooo

What stem & gleam, a butterflycomes to

wings caught

in split

& again

in the East, suns caughton trees branchesI knowa woman planting melonat the blue gatewho waitson sun, on moonA humble position is always like thisIve seen many high school ballets based on it


56/69

This is a black geographyThis, a told tray sureA testA WinnebagoAn untold dictionaryA dreamerThis is resin in nightA jasmine petalA nation

with rulesAn autumn, an Empress in grammar blueA back hand breakAny more like this &well all be wearing leather jackets for sure


57/69

bring the muse back into the kitchenor at least into this field of magnetic airshe is a young art studentw/ critical manicure & critical hairshe is siddhi-cynical & wakes

closing an eye to do some religiousdevotional to her

darkness matinaleO let her forge us a rocket lion

or something aboutthe unreasonable power

of these mountains white beneath the loom

of Aves, crying for penny candy, she savesthose of we who jump to prove, prays

crave love


58/69

A HA HA HA HA Histististististororororory of By of By of By of By of Ballallallallalladsadsadsadsads

no one kens whose hook lies therein the chthonic, in the mouth of herearthen lake is a pit& outside the door, jackmanjiitrumpets take three years to rootEros mixt, she pulls hawks & houndsawkward from a pan. rejected as flimsy

& bounded old :pike out the bluest eye

who fears the folded moon, folded armsin deadly storm, the gold

kim, gold combs, gold quimher eyelid

falls


59/69

having dismantled all trophiesof roses & nutsthe delicious female plunged& into

the fact that the seadevours cliffson which we contemplate the value of eyemight mean something more than... (what?dirge? dare i use so fractitious a world?)yet thee in thy august continentof grace & gravy o god america how i love

thee like i love a dogs tooth,a drowning man, a banner or what is to be saidfor a rusty knife?


60/69

What angel do you carry in yr cheek,Sky,

transfixed & prayingfor baseball by water: el rio el rio

Thus the chords rise out of the mountainto join

the real w/ the seaweed

as we sit near the very end & breakscattered over the wooden

platesLet some hairsplitter awake,for none of these words are minechoreograph some other odd spine & loose themon vague & on oceans sputtering their breathto newly made veils; And I, no bride, wish peaceon the South Platte or anyMississippi


61/69

so cranes latins a little off soread wings by oriole, by wingbankVast the engines outward, Eastern it towardspeeding

light & failedvision come home

to here where it rainsas an infusion of gypsy song

Jump lightning, jump andalusian dogo shine pasture / pastoral ear of goldenSpanish sesame

which began with the Bronxboys showing their waists

cinched as some great river, some bluetongue of the sea


62/69

she who had her nest in your heartcomes here with a perfect (church) in her mouthshe is leaving w/ lights

she leavesw/ highbeams unwinding

the yarn in her throatthe two soft pools

that serve her will not polisha glass solar plexus

she crossesthe ticket counter as the river comes into you

& the wind makes a hut in your fingers, enough

to fill tobacco jars & she knows your eyes as hidingin some distant star


63/69

We are what the movies have made usimmense& longingly triste, a dulcet seaI who sit Sunday out on the couch see the kiss itscouplement of iron & form & myoh my this cannot be helpedby changing a screen, these birds cannot be calmedwhose only measure is buy a kiss buy lipsBide yr time, for these that we achein our knees stutters at the counter,shooting out a wish:after all the tuna fish is paid for,

after this bomb of a heart we come

home to here where we put our feet up& hope for the matine to find us


64/69

America, rise up& talk your clothes off, speak thy nameunto rivers, say itto moons, till your colors drop offDiscover me to carry a flag, say your nameunto the steppes, unto a flys fine wingsgrub yourself into the night & wind tight

into the dark curl of itLet thy symmetry disperse!Salute your silver & dollar, the blankmetallic state in yr mouth, spitit out & let me rest

my head in a hummingbirdsnest, not thots not this.


65/69

This worlds a trumped up charge &Ive battled my way out of nursing homes& yes I hear you as it covers

California, thisradio wave thisradioactive what

Id like to make a commentIm just a nobodyThere is nothing out thereI am in my right mindIm just a volunteerI am on watch

I am this chain, thispolitics imprisoned.


66/69

It is indeed all fallingto carbon & rust

butthere is a reason for whichbones do not break

downinto dust

I am a motor hoping for fractal or cropIts a circle that breaks

round this streaming, this freeze on a dove

Some heat waves its handover ice this household on high where the blood dries

up,Stroke hearts thermostat fast, eat stonesfor the ore, mud for the salt.


67/69

Ill have to askit, sky lurch thrustwhatform cuts sparrow from sky Imean what shape does she cutas a what.Mariner, miner, make the axe like a soul, digit deep our elements beneath this earth-sea wecreep: mix it up, mild in mud

a we in itmeaning what? :

Binding our branches a long whilewe stay. Dangle

your girdle gems, the gates of heavenare wide open


68/69

Im loading up for a tourof the weather, a large backyard w/ no medalsto hold me, I am searching a shadow under

(beauty, black-eyed & salty-tongued,Give me the wild boar

for courage from a break in the sun)

these hands like crickets, as manyas shake from the sky & insideis a dark universe Hold outfor the slender boat, stand in for this

rough dancethere is a way of seeingthe day pass on & i do trust numbers enoughto write their signs.


69/69

the 28 constellations of the moonare fastened & belted to this:spindly snow bee, buckled below, unloosethe wise ice pick of yr eye,

prepare mefor earth & all other dissolution

That a lake is just watermoving thru water proves it, & what can be carriedto it comes to. Tune into the seven belts of the sea, let meland in the distance, in a clearing of angels,

in a term that is not legal, let me arrive,

created thing, with my bones in my body& into the bright, slanted lights

To Speak While Dreaming

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