TM

CONFLICT TO CREATIVITYADVANCED • Initiate conflict with another person• Navigate through difficult situations• Effectively assert ourselves where the other person is resistant to our point of view

ROLE PLAY

KIMPTON CULTURE

A unanimous commitment to self-leadership, creativity,

and high performance through team and personal development

EXERCISE• Situations where you applied CTC• Results you achieved• How did you model Kimpton Culture?

GROUND RULES• Confidentiality• Avoid Problem Solving• Be self-aware• Challenge yourself in role plays

CONFLICT TO CREATIVITY

CTC ADVANCED TOOL MAP

CONFLICT TO CREATIVITY ADVANCED

DEALING WITH CONFLICT• Name your Emotion. Don’t act it out

- Use Emotion Words Checklist• Calm down, is possible, before bringing up conflict• When we don’t address conflict it causes:

- Gossip - Triangulation - Passive-aggression

• Vital to not- Attack- Blame- Threaten

START WITH INVITE

START WITH INVITE

START WITH INVITE

Tool 1: Acknowledge with Heart: “Here’s what I’m observing.”

Tool 2: Invite Dialogue: “Are you open to hear my point of view?”

START WITH INVITE

Tool 1: Acknowledge with Heart

“I’ve got some things that I’d like to talk to you about.”

“I’ve been reflecting on some topics that we need to talk about.”

“Let’s discuss the staff meeting we had last week.”

“I’d like to bring up something I’ve been thinking about.”

START WITH INVITE

Tool 2: Invite Dialogue

“Would you prefer to talk about this now or later?”

“Tell me if right now works for you.”

“Are you ready to go into this topic now?”

“If not now, when would you be ready to talk?”

START WITH INVITE – MOVE TO PRESENT

PRESENT TOOLS

TOOL 1: I-MESSAGE - ACCOUNTABILITY AND OBJECTIVITY

TOOL 2: SELF-DISCLOSE -STATE FEELINGS

TOOL 3: MY OPINION -PERSPECTIVE AND NEEDS

PRESENT TOOLS

I-MESSAGE:

“I’M OBSERVING ______________________.”

SELF-DISCLOSE:

“HERE’S HOW I FEEL ___________________.”

OPINION:

“THIS IS WHAT I NEED _________________.”

START WITH PRESENT

START WITH PRESENT

START WITH PRESENT

TOOL 1: I-MESSAGE - ACCOUNTABILITY AND OBJECTIVITY

TOOL 2: SELF-DISCLOSE -STATE FEELINGS

TOOL 3: MY OPINION -PERSPECTIVE AND NEEDS

START WITH PRESENT

I-MESSAGE:

“I’M OBSERVING________________________.”

SELF-DISCLOSE:

“HERE’S HOW I FEEL ___________________.”

OPINION:

“THIS IS WHAT I NEED _________________.”

START WITH PRESENT

TOOL 1: I-MESSAGE - ACCOUNTABILITYAND OBJECTIVITY

TOOL 2: SELF-DISCLOSE - STATE FEELINGS

TOOL 3: MY OPINION - PERSPECTIVE ANDNEEDS

START WITH PRESENT

I-MESSAGE: “I’m seeing you interruptingme again.”

SELF-DISCLOSE: “I feel distracted and irritated when you interrupt me.”

MY OPINION: “I need you to notinterrupt me any more.”

START WITH PRESENT

I-MESSAGE: “I have heard that you have beentalking about me behind my back.”

SELF-DISCLOSE: “I’m concerned to hear thatyou have been talking to others about me.”

MY OPINION: “I prefer that you talk directlyto me if you have issues with me.”

PRESENT TO END A DISCUSSION

PRESENT TO END A DISCUSSION

PRESENT TO END A DISCUSSION

TOOL 1: I-MESSAGE - ACCOUNTABILITYAND OBJECTIVITY

TOOL 2: SELF-DISCLOSE - STATE FEELINGS

TOOL 3: MY OPINION - PERSPECTIVE ANDNEEDS

PRESENT TO END A DISCUSSION

I-MESSAGE: “I can see that we are just going around and around and are not reaching commonground.”

SELF-DISCLOSE: “I’m getting uncomfortablewith this process and don’t think we are going tofind resolution now.”

MY OPINION: “I recommend that we stop for nowand try again tomorrow. I could meet you at 9AM.”

PRESENT TO END A DISCUSSION

I-MESSAGE: “I’m aware that I don’t want to keep talking about this right now.”

SELF-DISCLOSE: “I’m frustrated and need to calm down before discussing this any further.”

MY OPINION: “I recommend that we bothstep back and reconvene at another time.”

FOLLOW UP TO CONFLICT

FOLLOW UP TO CONFLICT

ACCOUNTABILITY: OUR CONTRIBUTION

“I was irritated when we talked last and apologize for addingto the problem.”

OUR PERSONALITY PATTERN: DEMONSTRATE OUR BEHAVIOR AS A PATTERN

“When irritated I start to feel defensive and then escalate my voice…”

COMMIT: DEMONSTRATE ALTERNATIVES

“I need to listen more and be more objective…”

CLOSING A SUCCESSFULCTC INTERACTION• “Thanks for meeting with me.”• “I’m glad that we worked this out.”• “I’m excited about the creative solution we came up with together.”

ROLE PLAY SCENARIO SYSTEM

CONFLICT TO CREATIVITY

TRIANGULATION

TRIANGULATORBLAMES 3RD PARTY, MANIPULATES LISTENER

3RD PARTYTRIANGULATOR SEES AS THREAT

LISTENERTRIANGULATOR WANTS LISTENER TO TAKE HIS/HER SIDE

Key Points Triangulator blames the 3rd Party, but will not talk to 3rd Party directly

Triangulator’s goal is to manipulate Listener to manage 3rd Party by framing 3rd Party as negativeOnce Listener is manipulated and loses objectivity then he/she is “triangulated”

Triangulation occurs when Triangulator and Listener align against 3rd Party3rd Party ends up scape-goated and marginalized based on false assumptions

Listener takes on Triangulator’s responsibility to handle the relationship

MANIP

ULATION BLAM

E

TRIANGULATED BLAME

TRIANGULATION TOOL

TRIANGULATORAttempts to manipulate Listener

LISTENERSOLUTION: USE CTC

Listen openly and objectively

Explore: “Say more of your feelings about …”

Summarize: “You don’t know how to approachthis person and want me to help you.”

Invite: “I really hear that you are frustrated bythis, are you open to another point of view?”

Present: Coach Triangulator to use CTCwith 3rd Party

3rd PARTYTRIANGULATOR

APPROACHES WITH CTC

ATTEMPT M

ANIPULATIO

N

CTC COACHIN

G

USE CTC TOOL