ENGLISH WRITINGThiu nngSession 9

Instructor: H L VInstructor: H L V

OVERVIEWOVERVIEW Review Warm-up Thematic distribution improvement techniquesThematic distribution improvement techniques

(part 2) Manner of exemplification Theme-Rheme re-arrangement Cohesive devices

Previously on Thiu Nng Essay comparison differences in TP pattern distribution

manner of exemplificationf li it h i ti use of explicit cohesive ties

Genre factor narrative vs. argumentative texts

Thematic distribution improvement techniques (part 1) Linear idea development

Previously on Thiu Nng Feedback:

Q: vic c MC dng sai tuy...nhng. Liu c hi kht khe khng khi ph bnh c ny ? Nu l vn vit th ng l ng ch nhng nuph bnh c ny ? Nu l vn vit th ng l ng ch, nhng nu l vn ni th em ngh n cng khng phi l li qu ln. y l chng trnh truyn hnh trc tip buc MC phi c kh nng phn x v ni tri chy, nn nu mc li cng c th tm chp nhn .y g p

A: This is not about criticizing the MC or nitpicking. Its about critical thinking! Make it second nature to you.

WARMUP Fun activity solution

Context: Ross and Rachel were lovers. They broke up after a big fight,

even though they clearly still have feeling for each other. Ross then had an one-night-stand with another girl, which leads to

Rachel accusing him of being unfaithful Ross denied this sayingRachel accusing him of being unfaithful. Ross denied this, saying that they were on a break.

And then, they all went away one weekend with a group of close friends. Ross brought Bonnie, his new girlfriend.A d R h l t j l d t i d t i R b k And Rachel got jealous and tried to win Ross back

Watch the video clip and answer the following question: what does it refer to?

Watch the solution clip Watch the solution clip Whats the lesson learned? If you cant locate a referent, dont bluff your way through it.

MANNER OF EXEMPLIFICATION Use fewer but more elaborate examples instead of a large number of

short, under-developed ones easier to avoid thematic disruption One of my friends unexpectedly made twenty thousand dollars on a real estate dealOne of my friends unexpectedly made twenty thousand dollars on a real estate deal

several years ago. This would seem to be extremely good luck. But instead of investing the money or using it wisely, he bought a new luxury car. The insurance for the car was very expensive. As a result, every time the car needed repairs, he had to pay a great deal of money. Worse still, he was not comfortable driving it because hepay a great deal of money. Worse still, he was not comfortable driving it because he was afraid of having a wreck. In spite of this apparent stroke of good luck, my friend was not really benefited because he did not respond well to the situation.

vs.If a student studies hard for good grades and succeeds in his classes he won't need If a student studies hard for good grades and succeeds in his classes, he won't need excuses to explain why his grades are low. It is better not to start drinking than become an alcoholic and let the drink ruin one's life, cause damage to one's health, and then to go through the pain of changing the way of life and being forced to stay away from drink Therefore a person who has good habits will never say that his luckaway from drink. Therefore, a person who has good habits will never say that his luck is bad. A frugal man can prosper because he knows how to invest well and accumulate greater wealth. Of course, the person who saves his money and does not spend extravagantly will never say that his luck is bad.

MANNER OF EXEMPLIFICATIONExamples vs. Rationales Family can be considered the first school to children where parents teach them

how to behave and avoid bad habits If a family provides good guidance theirhow to behave and avoid bad habits. If a family provides good guidance, their children normally become good people.

For example, if parents lead a healthy life in harmony, the youngsters will definitely learn good things. By contrast, if parents smoke, drink, and behave y g g y pbadly, they will absolutely affect their children negatively. these are NOT specific examples. More like rationales. Elaborate with a specific account of someone you know.

MANNER OF EXEMPLIFICATION

Generic rationale-like examples The important factor of a good person, for example, is her beautiful spirit, not her

pretty appearance. Her look will fade away as she gets older, and finally, no one admires it anymore. But her precious spirit will still help people around and make them happy.I d t k l ifi d l i t d f In order to make your example more specific and personal instead of talking about a generic, faceless girl, talk about, e.g., a well-known movie star, who already lost her look when she was past her prime but has continued to contribute to the society and do charity works You canhas continued to contribute to the society and do charity works. You can also follow it up by contrasting her case with one of her peers, who, once her look had gone, sank immediately into oblivion. Possible problem: cant think of anyone specific off the top of your head? Possible problem: can t think of anyone specific off the top of your head? make it up

MANNER OF EXEMPLIFICATIONGeneric examples Trial marriage, for example, is a taboo in traditional Vietnamese culture. Despite g p p

this fact, when some of young couples adults do that, they take it as normal and gradually become common in our country. how to make it more specific? talk about two friends of yours who decided to move in together without a wedding even though their families are strongly against it (because someone they know did the same and it seems to work out)

It is important for you to AVOID overly generalexamples, or lists of examples without expansion. (an excerpt from GRE Official Guide)(an excerpt from GRE Official Guide)

THEME-RHEME REARRANGEMENT

Con ngi phi lm vic nui sng bn thn v gp phn xy dng cuc sng chung ca c cng ng. Khc vi cc sinh vt khc sng da vo thc n c sn kim c trong thin nhin, con ngi phi lao ng sng to, lm ra mi ca ci phc v i sng. Solution 1: nui sng bn thn v gp phn xy dng cuc

sng chung ca c cng ng con ngi phi lm vic. Con ngi, khc vi cc sinh vt khc sng da vo thc n c sn kim c trong thin nhin phi lao ng sng to lm ra mi ca ci phc vtrong thin nhin, phi lao ng sng to, lm ra mi ca ci phc v i sng.

Solution 2: Khc vi cc sinh vt khc sng da vo thc n c sn kim c trong thin nhin, con ngi phi lao ng sng to. H phi lm vic trc ht nui sng bn thn v sau l gp phn xy dng cuc sng chung ca c cng ng.Which text reads more natural in Vietnamese?

THEME-RHEME REARRANGEMENT

At this period of time, their memorizing ability is really good so that they are able to remember new words of a foreign language. Adults should motivate their kids to study this subject at early age because of memorizingstudy this subject at early age because of memorizing ability. At this period of time, their memorizing ability is really good so

that they are able to remember new words of a foreign languagethat they are able to remember new words of a foreign language. Because of this memorizing ability, adults should motivate their kids to study this subject at early age.

THEME-RHEME REARRANGEMENT

But instead of investing the money or using it wisely, he bought a new luxury car. The insurance for the carwas very expensive. But instead of investing the money or using it wisely heBut instead of investing the money or using it wisely, he

bought a new luxury car. It cost a lot in insurance. When should we or should we NOT switch?

When should we keep insurance as the Theme? When should we keep insurance as the Theme? The old car vs. new car situation

THEME-RHEME REARRANGEMENT

Vietnamese influences Marked Theme usage Referent switching

MARKED THEME USAGE

Vi t it t d t k d Th t Vietnamese writers tend to use marked Themes to a significantly greater extent than American writers

Trong sn c mt con mo.

MARKED THEME USAGE

Compared with English speakers, Vietnamese seem to be less troubled by thematic disruption.Vi t it f k d Th ft th t Vietnamese writers usage of marked Theme more often than not disrupts thematic continuity. Sng trong mi trng khng tt m con ngi vn gi c nhn

cch trong sng th cng ging nh hoa sen trn m ly vn ta ngtcch trong sng th cng ging nh hoa sen trn m ly vn ta ngt hng thm. Xung quanh ta c rt nhiu tm gng nh vy.

Ngc li, c nhng ngi mc d hon cnh sng hon ton thun li, tt p nhng bn thn li chng ra g. Sinh ra trong gia nh giu , p g g g g g gsang tha thi tin bc, danh vng, h khng phi lo lng, bn chi mu sinh.

Xa kia b y ra o hoang, ch vi mt thanh gm cn m Mai An Ti i t i h h Kh i iTim ci to c cuc sng ca gia nh mnh. Khng c ai gip , khng c mt cng c tt lm vic, chng cng chng c mnh t tt.

MARKED THEME USAGE If you write by applying the translation method L1 negative

transfer First, learning a second language will easily make young children

l h i h l I Vineglect their mother tongue languages. In Vietnam many young children are taught English alphabet whereas their Vietnamese vocabulary is even not good.

Any good reason for using In Vietnam as a marked Theme? Any good reason for using In Vietnam as a marked Theme? However, I believe a foreign language will do more good for them.

While a subject in science requires a quite complicated manner of thinking, a foreign language merely asks for repetition, or imitation, g g g g y pfrom children.

Only after mastering Vietnamese perfectly should children be taught about the English one. Without having fundamental understandings

b t th i th t hild t b ll d tabout their own mother tongue, children cannot be well prepared to learn a completely new language

MARKED THEME USAGE

Note: Besides avoiding unjustified use of marked Themes that may cause thematic disruption, you may also employ them to maintain thematic continuitythematic continuity. But no obstacle should stand in the way of responsible investigation of

their possibilities. To that end, the work should be funded and supervised by the federal government.p y g

Eventually, one of the new generations of do-not-advertise cases will probably end up before the U.S. Supreme Court, but that may take a while. Until then, proponents of a crackdown can brandish powerful

f f S Cquotes from former Supreme Court justices that... With Wolfenstein 3-D, however, you see the action from the on-screen

characters point of view. You become the character.Despite the lack of evidence politicians cant resist blaming the media Despite the lack of evidence, politicians cant resist blaming the media for violence. They can stake out the moral high ground confident that...

REFERENT SWITCHING

Referent switchingSome examples from my ESL data Normally, a child learning foreign language early find it difficult to speak mother

tongue well. They can compare mother tongue and foreign language, then theyfind weakness in native language.M if hild l f i l l th ill h ti t Moreover, if children learn a foreign language early, they will have more time to learn it better. As a child, he does not have to concern about too many things. He only learns, plays and eats. And it is very good because children can learn to develop both their mother tongue and foreign language.p g g g g

REFERENT SWITCHINGNotes: the same problem found in Thieu Nang writing Family is the most important source of support that would help them gain more

confidence in ourselves.confidence in ourselves. My mother had to literally wrestle with me every time she tried to feed me. One

time she was so mad she put me in my neighbors house. Some people say that family is the most important influence on young adults. p p y y p y g

Obviously, parents bring up us since we were born. Some... young adults, since they were brought up from birth by their parents.

REFERENT SWITCHING

Fix the referent switching problem of a passage composed by an ESL Vietnamese learner (10 points)an ESL Vietnamese learner (10 points)

Spending a majority of their time with friends is one of reasons why friends have most influence on young adults. A young adult use most of his time at school where he joins his friends in many activities Throughhis time at school, where he joins his friends in many activities. Through such activities, a child and his peers connect and learn from each other.

REFERENT SWITCHING

A Sample solution Spending a majority of their time with friends is one of reasons why friends have

most influence on young adults. A young adult use most of his time at school, where he joins his friends in many activities. Through such activities, a child and his peers connect and learn from each other.A h f i d h th t i fl d lt i th t h A reason why friends have the most influence on a young adult is that hespends most of his time in school, where he joins his friends in many activities. Through such activities, they connect and learn from each otherother.

Could that be L1 influence? khng b bin thnh nn nhn ca thi quen xu, mi ngi phi c s rn

luyn tu dng khng ngng v mt o c ch Chng ta phi nng caoluyn, tu dng khng ngng v mt o c, ch. Chng ta phi nng cao nhn thc ca bn thn v bn b v tc hi ca thi h tt xu. Cc bn cn khuyn bo nhau bit kim ch trc nhng th vui khng lnh mnh.

COHESIVE DEVICE EMPLOYMENT

Use cohesive devices as textual ThemesH fi d t h t b d l k i N l He may never find out what bad luck is. Napoleon, a historical figure, definitely never knew what bad luck was because he consolidated his power and never let it pbe divided. He may never find out what bad luck is. As an example | For

instance, Napoleon, a historical figure, definitelyinstance, Napoleon, a historical figure, definitely

COHESIVE DEVICE EMPLOYMENT

Warning: do not OVERUSE textual ThemesA Vietnamese ESL excerpt A Vietnamese ESL excerpt

Learning a foreign language is necessary for many people. So, the educators gave the foreign language teaching to most schools. So, all children can learn English, Chinese, etc at their early age. Thus, I c d e ca ea g s , C ese, e c a e ea y age us,think it is good for them to learn a foreign language more effectively with a good preparation.

COHESIVE DEVICE Cohesion

Cohesion refers to the linguistic links between sentences, which demonstrate the relationship between the ideas contained in thesedemonstrate the relationship between the ideas contained in these sentences.

A paragraph that is made up of sentences that are well-linked is said to be cohesive.to be cohesive.

Cohesion ensures smooth written text flow and allows the reader to follow the development of ideas more easily.

Underlying coherence vs. surface cohesiony g Any country-music-lover knows Ring of fire as the most famous hit of

Jonhny Cashs career a country music star of the 60s. coherent but not cohesive

COHESIVE DEVICE Underlying semantic coherence is realized through

surface cohesive markers in different ways by different languages Such differences may affect readers perception of text coherence An English essay composed by a Vietnamese speaker may seem coherent and easy to follow to other ESL Vietnamese fellows but not so to native speakers ofVietnamese fellows but not so to native speakers of English.

COHESIVE DEVICE Cohesive devices: surface markers of cohesion 5 basic types:yp

reference substitution ellipsisellipsis conjunction lexical cohesion

COHESIVE DEVICE1. Reference:

established through naming of participants, places, and things most commonly expressed by pronouns and demonstrativesa) presented, or introduced a referent as new or as knownb) endophoric: point to a referent located within text

anaphoric: the referent mentioned at an earlier point E.g., The dog ate the bird and it died. cataphoric: the referent subsequently provided E.g., Because his drink was cold, David ordered another cup of

tea.

COHESIVE DEVICE1. Reference:

c) exophoric: point to a referent lying outside text in the context of situation.

E.g., the Queen, the VTV3 The writer assumes that readers are aware of the referent could it be problematic?Q ti it i th li i d h i Question: it in the warm-up clip is endophoric or

exophoric?

COHESIVE DEVICE2. Substitution:

replace an element with another but not by means of a personal pronoun

E.g., Do you have a computer? I used to own one. E.g., You like to write? I do.

Fun activity Watch a video clip and solve the given riddle

United States coins?

COHESIVE DEVICE3. Ellipsis:

involve deletion of a repeated element E.g., He wrote a letter and [he is deleted] sent it home on the

same day. How about Vietnamese?

Fun activity Context

Ellens neighbor has feeling for her so he comes up with many f i hexcuses for seeing her.

One day, he stops by to ask if she would like to be his shift partner in a new Neighborhood Watch program.

Watch the video and answer the following questions Watch the video and answer the following questions What ellipsis construction is used in the conversation? Why does the speaker use it?

COHESIVE DEVICE

4. Conjunction: express logical relations between parts of a text E.g., Although they're expensive, they last forever and never go out of

style. our focus

COHESIVE DEVICE

5. Lexical cohesion: maintain cohesion through subclassification, g ,

antonymy/synonymy/repetition and part/whole relationship. E.g., Cats appear to be affected with allergic bronchitis more

frequently than dogs. Animals are usually affected as young to middle aged adultsaged adults.

vs. Cats appear to be affected with allergic bronchitis more frequently than umbrella.

E.g., Looks are for the young. The older should know that our mates are not an award that one can display on their arm.

vs. Looks are for the young. The bigger should know that Note: also involves culture-related assumptions, e.g. Hanoi people

vs Saigon peoplevs. Saigon people

COHESIVE DEVICE IDENTIFICATION Watch a clip taken from The Golden Girls show (transcript provided)

Character: Dorothy, a 58 years old high school teacher Blanche and Rose: Dorothys roommates Sophia: Dorothys 83 years old mother Trudy, Dorothys former best friend, and Jack: Trudys husband

Context: Dorothy holds a high school reunion party, and Trudy comes to visit. Although they were best friends, they were also big rivals back in high

school. Their best-friend/rival relationship hasn't changed a bit 50 years later.

Identify cohesive devices of all types used in the conversation. Are there any missing links? Why are they acceptable? Important differences between spoken and written texts

HOMEWORK

For session 10: Cohesive device reconstruction taskEach blank represents a single linking ord that ser es as a Each blank represents a single linking word that serves as a cohesive device.

Alexandria OKs use of land to expand sewage plant (by TarynLuntz Examiner)Luntz, Examiner).

COMING UP NEXTCOMING UP NEXT Problematic usage of cohesive devicesg Conjunction relations