TheDistances ofSleep · TheDistances ofSleep StevenCarter T h e D i s t a n c e s o f S l e e p S t...

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The Distances of Sleep Steven Carter The Distances of Sleep Steven Carter Steven Carter is a retired emeritus professor of English and former Senior Fulbright Fellow at two Polish universities having taught for thirty eight years The author of forty published books he is the recipient of numerous literary awards including the Schachterle Prize presented by the National Society for Literature and Science; UNESCOs Nuove Lettere International Poetry and Literature Prize twice; the Eric Hoffer Foundations Montaigne Medal; st Prize in the British International Haiku Awards competition haibun section; and nd Prize in the Haiku Presence International Haiku competition A lba Publishing US UK A

Transcript of TheDistances ofSleep · TheDistances ofSleep StevenCarter T h e D i s t a n c e s o f S l e e p S t...

Page 1: TheDistances ofSleep · TheDistances ofSleep StevenCarter T h e D i s t a n c e s o f S l e e p S t e v e n C a r t e r Steven Carter is a retired emeritus professor of English and

The Distancesof Sleep

Steven Carter

TheDistancesofSleep

StevenCarter

Steven Carter is a retired emeritus professor ofEnglish and former Senior Fulbright Fellowat two Polish universities, having taught for thirty-eight years. The author of forty published books, heis the recipient of numerous literary awards,including the Schachterle Prize presented by theNational Society for Literature and Science;UNESCO7s Nuove Lettere International Poetry andLiterature Prize �twice�; the Eric HofferFoundation7s MontaigneMedal; 1st Prize in the 2012British International Haiku Awards competition�haibun section�; and 2nd Prize in the 2011 HaikuPresence International Haiku competition.

Alba PublishingUS$15 / UK £10 / €12 AA

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The Distancesof Sleep

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By the same authorSnow MoonAfter Blossom ViewingPillars of FireGingko LeavesChrysanthemum GardenInteriorsThe DistancesLeaves and AngelsEkphrasisRiver MistInvisible RiversThe Sound of Purple

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Alba Publishing

The Distancesof Sleep

Steven Carter

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Published by Alba Publishing,P O Box 266, UxbridgeUB9 5NX, United Kingdomwww.albapublishing.com

© 2013 Steven CarterAll rights reservedNo part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in aretrieval system, or transmitted by any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwisewithout the prior written permission of the copyright owners.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the BritishLibrary

ISBN: 978-0-9575265-7-0

Edited, designed and typeset by Kim RichardsonCover image © petarpaunchev/Dreamstime.comPrinted and bound by imprintdigital, Devon, UK

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

AAcckknnoowwlleeddggeemmeennttss

The following haiku and tanka originally appeared, orwill be appearing, in the following journals: "In deepwoods", "Purple hours" (different version), and "DeathSentence" in Red Lights; "Songs of Eden's blue thrush"in Chrysanthemum; "Ghost of my mother" in Lynx;"Branches on my window" in Ribbons, "Wind in jack-pines" and "The moon a magic lantern" in Skylark;"Invisible won't listen" in Kokako; "Stirring bones" in AHundred Gourds; "Two dimensions" in Blithe Spirit;"The child I was" in Kernels.

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Contents

Book I 6 HAIKU 7

Book II 6 TANKA 47

Book III 6 STALACTITES 75

Knots 6 NEW ZEN APHORISMS 109

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—For H. M.Good dog-soldier

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Book IHaiku

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8

Held by the glow of Held candles

Midwinter sky

[After Marian Olson]

The night too dark to hear what you won’t say

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9

Day-planner in the trash Indian summer’s

Indian summer

Twilight—Stealing colors from dawn

Dawn—

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1.

I see the world more clearlyThe eye surgeon—

There will be some pain

2.

HurryingPast

Mirrors

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1.

The fall of light in summer rain

2.

Dancing—Stars

Through tears

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12

Pretending the strayCat’s affection

Is affection

You and ILost and found—

Lost and—Lost

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13

At the last momentWe both pull back

The ocean and I

69The months

Counting me

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14

Sibley Park fireflies winking for us and not for us

Blushing brideVeils

Of rain

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Settled . . . she puts on the other shoe

The ache Of cobblestones

Auschwitz

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Running overWith pity

The beggar’s empty cup

Ancient Indian interment site farm truck up on blocks

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Innocence on a swingAbove the clouds

Almost

Scolded by MumKid with a dirty face

Kissed by Mother Earth

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Curves of the hillOf my love

Under the hill

Crumbling line shackOne crumpled boot

I fail the words

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Bottom of an oceanDeep in his eyes

Afghanistan

Low tide on time From the next dune

What did you expect?

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The painOf not comprehending

Your pain

I call it death-in-life twilight slips into something more comfortable

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I’d like to answerMr. Owl

But who—who am I?

Church belfry pigeons know for whom it tolls

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Campfire ashesTrembling with fright a ghost

Tells people stories

Green dragonflies coupling she blows me a kiss

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Folding and unfoldingThe Dear John letter,

John

Death-rattle of dry leaves stomped on by kids who never die

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Wealthy Sunday strollers—Shaking diamonds from their wings

Fountain birds

Grandma’s wintry gaze what won’t be will be

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The perfect affairSleeping with quietness,

Quietness

Fogged-up rear-view mirror God knows I didn’t try

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AugustAugust

August

Happy unhappy birthday the mirror talks back

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1.

The horror of being comforted amethyst star

2.

Her address book phone numbers in black ink in fading pencilBiblical quotes

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Leaning on me the dying pine tree I lean on

L P’s apparentlyNot long enough

—1958

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29

1.

Mum wipes his faceOf dust

He will become

2.

He wipes his faceOf dust

Tossed on the coffin

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ScissorsRusted shut

—Desire

Curlews Your call is important to us—

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31

Back from the brinkShe survives

My survival guilt

Abandoned farmhouse moths in and out quick as a lifetime

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Pussy-willows in the moon I pick a soft shadow

Sea-waves of wind in the wheat the wheat is what it is

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33

Thirsty moon down to the lake —Level falling

An eagle gets off the world

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1.

I tattle to the gods Look what I’m not doing

2.

I tattle on the gods Look what they’re not doing

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35

The ocean past present past

No reason is the reason O rose thou art sick

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Sensational disclosures from the Garden! Butterflies drunk on air!

High fivesToo high to touch

Anasazi handprints

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37

Always the last to know strip tease of autumn aspens

Revelations in the sky! Clouds impersonating clouds!

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Glasses broken I read in all languages

The wind returns my name to me OR CURRENT RESIDENT

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Drinking at the cold spring God is dead rings in my teeth

Full moon overheard on the psych ward Hey, time to act like lunatics!

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Night of fallen leaves devil’s moths halo candle-flames

Burning my journals another log another log on the fire

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—Wild stars

A nothing leaf new gives under it’s the all moon

[This haiku reflects my notion, shared by many, that each leaf, star,

cloud, etc. = a cosmos unto itself. Hence the it’s]

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42

—Wet moonlight

Swan Lake diamonds of sun rippling nearer to me of little faith —The Artist has cleverly concealed

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43

1.

Box confession good for the soul of the listener

2.

Box all ears a devil’s moth

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1.

Spindrift the moon slaps my face

2.

Spindrift the moon—I am a poem, you fool!

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Ants lugging crumbs out of chard theweight of the world

I imagine out loud The moon hanging from a string

My grandson sees it then I do too

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46

Forest for the trees is it love for thekisses or kisses for the love

Used paperbackTo Phil from Sue

No marginalia

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Book IITanka

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TTWWOO FFOORR TTHHEE FFAALLLLEENN

under summer grass, the dreams of warriors—After Basho

1.

Windless flags hang their headsFrom the teleprompterGeneral Powell:—Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrificeCeremonial guns fire blanks

2.

Scars— Bomber contrailsAn eternityFor the supple skyTo heal

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Forbidden colors—Shades of sunAnd moonLostIn her dark curls

I think them braveThe struggles Of snowy crocusesMauve leaves Touch white silence

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StreetlampsCircles of lightCircles of darkA drunk staggers intoThe human condition

Her mouth agapeGod knows I triedTo charm her w/ the music Of the Greek wordFor holy love

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51

In her hairTints Of September moons DistancesOf sleep

In deep woodsGreen rain,Hidden flowersThoreau’s last words—Moose, Indians

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Death sentenceDoc’s eyes on the wallStill on its wayLight From a newborn star

Stirring bones On the bottomSouth to north A river runs throughThe words we don’t say

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Sullen moonEmpty sky—Filled with emptinessBashoHas a frog in his throat

Sleepwalking through my dayAwakened by the touch ofLilacs On my cheek So dream-like

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Light—knottedAround Zeus’ pinky fingerSo he won’t forget to rememberThe Big WhimperComing to a star near you

Songs of Eden’s blue thrushGate-crash my dreams whereSongs are strictly forbiddenWaking I fall Fall for the singing

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SilencesBetween rain-showersFog forms on the BayThereforeI am not

Purple hoursEmbraced by evening lightAfter Mom’s deathA purple sweaterWith one button missing

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56

Dust-covered— Gray jewelry box containingHer amethyst ring andA journeyTo the end of the night

Ghost of my mother—Once uponA moonWinter dreamsA tired smile

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3. a.m.—scrapingsOf Memory on the paneLost and found—Lost and—Lost

MoonsetThe top drawerI never openWhereDid we put the truth?

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58

He’s looking down on usGrandma used to say of GrandpaI always wanted to askWhat if we livedAt the South Pole

John the mailman pulls upPain I know is comingNot quite here yet—Not quite here yet—. . . OR CURRENT OCCUPANT

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Cradling it Like a newbornFilled with ashesThe urnNo heavier

Wind-whipped morningGalloping into deep woodsLast night’s dream of youAstride the secretsKeeping us

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Persistence at twilight Of the feeling of rocking From today’s sail In tonight’s dream I’ve already drowned

Forty years onSame mountainSame lavender-gray shadowsSame me (or not)Jim Morrison—This is the end

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Under two voluptuous moons We breathe stones;As fish say of water (Don’t forget the talking fish!)It all seems quite natural

Branches on my windowBone-scrape the glassOne more dayThe test results Delayed

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Dawn’s sheltering skyThe perpetual smirkOf a desert tortoise;Hey, he seems to say,The rent’s free—

Two dimensionsOf a childhood selfCut out of black paper:Well, she did what she shouldAs long as she could

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63

Swan Lake tosses in her sleepWaves (indignant virgins) Slap the shore I lie still.I keep my eyes open.

Numbing our painThe agony Of rosesStabbed In a crystal vase

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No, no, dream down excuses, Don’t dream them up!They send me you-know-where(I bump into Eurydice)Into zero summer

Empty hours between poems Like Kona weather On Maui Death-in-life Till the trade winds turn ‘round

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70 candles and the moonShiningOn Memory’s Bleached bonesThere must’ve been a cake

My bitter promise NotTo remember usTill dawn brokeYou know the rest

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Please don’t tell me The sun falsifies the is that is In shadows embracing usIn shadows We embrace for real

Moon Full of mischiefChurning up killerRip-tidesOh, she’s just going through a phase—

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—The child I wasThe child I amThe child I will be—In a hall of funhouse mirrorsI turn, turn, turn from the children

At 120 mph the teen down the streetMuttered to his speedometer That’s all she wrote—His only immortalityFading graffiti

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Silver stoicism Of moonlightMy secret sharerI felt nothingTherefore I was

Crippled cartwheels Of newborn starsMirror of OrionHow dare you return to me What I am

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Fading glories Of dreamlessnessGlories of twilightFrom a vindictive mirrorSleep mutters Shall we dance?

A turbulence of dreamsTucked between lake-wavesStill asleepI see a contrition of birchesBowing

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My blind friendOn Sartre’s Being and Nothingness“I guess there’re a lot of things I can’t see.”I have nothing to say

Bone-white skyBone-white starsBone-white sea-fogYou get the messageOr do you—being definitely alive

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O the in between-NessOf the worldAnd of each affairI knew would be the last

AprilIs the kindest monthWhisperingTo snowy crocusesPatience

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On my palate a tasteOf ChardonnayDrunk on airButterfliesPaint the wind

Last day of winterOceanIn the dropOfAll my farewells

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Wind in jack-pines Breath of the Spirit said the BlackfeetUnder a Montana heavenI forgetTo breathe

Sounds ghosts makeFrom the garden haunting—A hum of beesWhat I hearIs not what I heard from

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Invisible won't listenVisible is deafTherefore—thereforeDark musicBetween the words

The moon a magic lanternO pocked and pitted mirrorGiving us back to usIn my dimming vision The word reads tragic

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Book IIIStalactites

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AAUUTTHHOORR77SS NNOOTTEE TTOO TTHHEE RREEAADDEERR

A few months ago, working on a book of haikutitled The Sound of Purple, something began to worryme.

Haiku, regardless of the antediluvian 5-7-5structure and/or the number of words, are stillsequential; that is, they move in time from point A topoint C (assuming they’re three-liners): like—well,the conventional English sentence.

Yes, haiku ought to be more capable thansentences of producing what T.S. Eliot called “anemotional and intellectual complex in an instant oftime.” Still, time—the so-called flow of time—has thefinal say.

But life isn’t always sequential; when memorykicks in maybe it’s never sequential. As Proust andBergson understood, language struggles (perpetually)with the Perpetual Now: the heart of the heart ofexperience.

Stream of consciousness addresses this issue, butwith limited if brilliant success (cf. Faulkner, Joyce,and Virginia Woolf ). Even with Molly Bloom’s eroticreveries, there’s still a Point A and a Point B from pageto page, right up to the final, glorious Yes.

There’s a difference, I think, between experiencingthings in time and experiencing things with time.Time is less a medium—water to oblivious fish—thanit is a bosom companion. We are less in time than weare with time.

—Think of two people riding in a car, talking

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more or less at the same time, each hearing andunderstanding the other’s words. Time exists for them,of course, but in instances of simultaneousdiscourse—what I’m attempting in Stalactites—itsflow takes a back seat to the immediacy—the“complex”—of what’s being said.

In 1966 a writer from Cahiers du Cinema askedfamed movie director Jean-Luc Godard: “Surely youagree, M. Godard, that a film should have abeginning, middle, and an end!” “Of course,” Godardreplied. “But not necessarily in that order.”

Memory works the same way, always confusingbeginnings, middles, and ends. Occasionally, if thewaters of experience—still or choppy—run deepenough, they become seamless, yielding an emotionunavailable when (what seemed to be) separatemoments were experienced.

How to get this down in writing? I remember thepoet Jack Spicer insisting, “The perfect poem has aninfinitely small vocabulary.” In other words, the idealcomplex I’m trying to describe exists not “in” or“between” the lines, but beyond the lines—wherewords can’t go.

And yet we shouldn’t say much less feel that timeis redundant to the “truth” of experience. Time is verymysterious. Thanks to Einstein we know that spaceand time are all of a piece: yet different. We can moveforward and backward in space—but not in time.Why? Maybe the “flow of (space-) time” isn’t a thingin itself, but something to bounce off as we struggle toknow the “Now’s” of our lives, separate from past,

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present, and future. To me, time is the midwife of these “Now’s.” As a

quantum physicist says with a chortle, “If time didn’texist everything would happen at once!” Well, thisisn’t what happens in what follows. But even when astalactite seems to be sequential, my hope is that thewedding of intellect and emotion will succeed inmaking of the two intersecting “columns” one.

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BrightHourRedsOfStarvingTheInWolfAFeastingDarkOnSkyDarkness

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MyFromMagicMyDecoderParents’ RingBedroom—LightsWhy?Up

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Silence1After+The1Night-=Bird’s OCry

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NoAThePeach-EarthBlossomDoesn’tFallsMove

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AloneBeyondInTheTheCrackedAttic—Window-pane—TinyColdViolinComforterOfOfASnowMosquito

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MyCupping LastRainMemoryInOfBothHerHands

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BottomlessWindLake—FromNoNowhereHaikuToTodayNowhere

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GazeDeathOfOfYourAGlassGlass-wingCat

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DeathVivaldi’sInFourSummerSeasons

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Floating— WhisperedPaleToGreenALight Stranger:OnNana’sDarkLastGreenWordsLeaves

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MoonTheInRainMyKnowsGlassOnly OfOneChardonnayThing

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ThisSleeping,OceanSheWithWhispersOrSomeoneWithoutElse’sANameName

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WinterSpringMirrorCleaning—He(ASeesBoxTheirOfLostToys)Son

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DyingComedyIsIsEasy Hard

[The last words of the great Englishactor Edmund Kean]

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ChardonnaySummerFillsSkyTheFilledBillWithUntil EmptinessTheUntil Bill Thunder

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AIYoungster SayKicks(ToUpMyselfPaleOnly)PuffsDustOfToDustDust

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TeacupTremblingHeldOfInRain-BothShadowsHands

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TasteDryOf Wishing Honeysuckle Well

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TurnZenATemple—StoneBonsaiOver—GardenWhatBeDisappearsVeryIs CarefulAlso Not PartTo Of SayYouBanzai

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The ColdWindLightHasFromNoAShapeNewbornSaveStarInStillPine-OnBranchesItsResistingMerry The WayWind

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Torrents“IOfHopeBlueYou’llShadowsUnderstand”

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GazeDeathOfOfYourAGlassHummingbirdCat

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SheDiscovering FinallyI’mFindsHoldingTheAWordsDrink

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Fading—TheColdMistColors,IsClearTheColors Mountain

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SalesDoctorCallCarefullyHowAvoidingAreEyeYouContactToday

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CreepingSentryOverGuardedTheByWall—ThePlum-GateBlossoms

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The—Grandpa’s NeedMossyToHeadstoneFeelInSomething Winter

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“My ShadowingLifePine-IsShadowsAnPine-EmptyShadowsPlace”

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VioletOneShadowsLessDownBedroomTheToSkyForget

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KnotsNew Zen Aphorisms

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, Icontradict myself

—Walt Whitman

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1.

Say IfGood-DreamsByeCameInTrueAWeDreamWouldn’tAndLiveOnlyInTheTruthDreamButWillInMissDreamYou

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2.

Hey—BabiesTheAreRoofBornMightBaldNotAndFallSeriousInTheyAnythingKnowCouldWhat’sHappenComing

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3.

Lord,No—CheckIOutWon’t—WhatThereforeI’mINotAmDoing

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4.

MoneyWeAlwaysForgiveBuysTooYouSoonAAndCheaperForgetClassTooOfLateEnemy

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5.

TwoTruthsBearMerelyWitnessExchangeToOneTheSetTruth:OfOneShacklesSpeaksForIt,Another;OneNonsenseTurnsSetsAYouDeafFree—EarTruly!

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6.

WeWeAreKnowAWhatFinalWeDestinationWereThatButHasNotForgottenWhatItsWeJourneyAre

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7.

MenTheComeGraveAndTooGoYawnsEarthInElidesBoredom

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8.

...OtherUnquenchableSideGrievingOfOfTheMorning Pillow Rain

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9.

WeNoResentBabyTooComesHappyLaughingMoreFromThanTheTooWombSad