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Transcript of The Write Word Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
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The Write Words
Easy Editingand
SpiffyStyle Guide
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The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
2The Write Word
Only ambitious nonentities and hearty mediocri-
ties exhibit their rough drafts. It is like passing
around samples of their own sputum.
Vladimir Nabokov
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Chapter 1 A Little Editing Music
Introduction(A Little Editing Music, Please...)
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The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
4The Write Word
A Litle Ediing Music, Please
Inroducion
Say youre new o he myseries o he ediing rade, wheher youre a markeing
wrier in a 1,000-person corporaion or a reelance copyedior jus building your
chops in he business. Or maybe youre a wrier ha simply likes o clean up her
own messes. Perhaps youre a seasoned old hand who jus wans a reresher course
beore being asked o proo he AF enries o Wikipedia. Tis guide is inended o
acquain you wih ediing/prooreading undamenals and hen some. Well sar
by explaining he purposes o ediing, move ino noing some ediorial ools, dance
over o reviewing he various approaches o and mehods o ediing, and nally, odemonsrae he glories o ediing in acion, well supply some mesmerizing beore
and aer examples o unedied and edied documens.
Bu wai, has no all! Teres also a syle guide ha covers zany subjecs like apos
rophe appropriaeness, capializaion or capialiss (I made ha par up), words
requenly misspelled, misused or oherwise abused, general usage ips (acive
and passive voice and all) and how o avoid oher language sand raps ha migh
ensnare he unwary. Being raher aken wih Karen Gordons works (Te ransi
ive Vampire, or insance), I give ree rein o he horses o absurdly craedbu
correcly consrucedexample senences.
Is unny (a leas o me) abou grammar booksIm one o hose dweebosauri
ha really enjoys reading hem. A leas he amusing ones, like Gordons, and
Eas, Shoos and Leaves and Woe Is I. And lisening o he Grammar Girl podcass
is un and inormaive.
And i you hink hose opening paragraphs above need ediing, read on. As H.G.Wells said, No passion in he world is equal o he passion o aler someones
dra.
As H.G. Wells said,No passion in the
world is equal tothe passion to altersomeones dra.
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Chapter 1 A Little Editing Music
I youre trying touse language to
motivate a buyerto buy or a readerto cry, writing thatdoesnt sing has nozing.
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The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
6The Write Word
In hese ormened imes o assigning blame o ohers or our own on-paper
commission o dark deeds, I believe ha i is empoweringby Jove!o ake
head-on he awesome responsibiliy o words commited o ha paper. Or,
more and more, commited o ha screen. Perhaps a useul way o look a i is
by hinking o hose imes when you migh have paricipaed in passing noes in
your grammar school classwha was so rioously unny when shared wih yourriends became sordid and unclean when you were orced by he eacher o read
i aloud in class. Is easy o see ha good ediing migh save you some embar-
rassmen, boh in your class noes and your speeches o he board o direcors.
You may send away or my DVD, Ediing and he Inner Child, aer you nish
reading.
Pifalls and Enemies of EdiingOvereditingBeore I ouline some approaches o ediing, is necessary o consider some o
he hings ha can inhibi or mar is eecive pracice. Te rs one is equally
as reacherous as no ediing a documen, and ha is o over-edi a documen.
Tis harkens back o one o he rs concerns you as an edior should have: wha
is he purpose o his piece o communicaion? Tere are vas dierences in
complexiy, scope and inen beween a memo o he sales eam and a company
nancial repor, and he dierences in he composiion o such documens has a
grea relevance o heir ediorial decomposiion.
Tereore, o spend a grea deal o deliberaive ime in considering wheher o
use implemen or execue in a wo-senence message abou posiioning he
microwave in he lunchroom is ime wased. (Besides, hose are boh weenie
words anyway.) Jus as you don ime your eggs wih an aomic clock, i is over-
kill o use a ne-ooh comb on wriing ha has no hair o be combed. Speaking
o no hair, I will use Seh Godins phrase: Ship, as in ge i ou he door. A piece
o wriing ha is endlessly niggled over is a piece o wriing ha goes unshipped
and unread.
Overformatting
A closely relaed oible is one ha addresses one o he joys o he compuer
agehe abiliy o change he appearance o your documen in myriad ways.
Tis boon has hidden coss: you can spend weny minues wriing a simple
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repor and ory minues ormating i. Cerainly an acue eye or which ons are
complemenary and wheher a hal-poin rule is beter under a subhead han a
one-poin rule are valid concernsor a graphic aris preparing a publicaion
wih wide circulaion. However, in many insances, ashy graphics and prety
ypography are poor, i no misleading, subsiues or he subsance o your mes-
sage. Simpliciy has an elegance ha commands atenion.
Tis o course maters less or elecronic documens, which hankully can ex-
press all he ripperies o exoic ypography wihou hard-coding complicaions.
And i you have a clien waiing or a wo-paragraph blurb on heir Abou page,
hey really aren going o give a hoo wheher you dress your ex in a uxhey
jus wan he words, no heir oundaion garmens.
Speaking o spending endless ime aligning decimal poins (has a litle joke
you should align your decimals, dammi!), ime isel can be eiher an ally or an
enemy when puting ogeher a publicaion. You acually can edi a documen
o needless perecion i you have he ime. I is my experience ha a piece o
wriing can pass my desk en imes, and even i is jus a wo-page sell shee, I
can always nd somehing else wrong or needul o change. Te possibiliies
o how a senence can be consruced are virually limiless, bu you have o
consider wheher he resuls are worh he eor. I youre wriing on a deadline,
is oen beter o be almos righ han absoluely, unquesionably, he very
righes righ.
Style and Inconsistency
Anoher issue o righness is ha o ediing syles. William Sare migh have
sen a leter bomb o John Simon over wheher o use which or ha aer a
relaive clause. Te Associaed Press migh declare ha you mus eliminae he
nal comma in a comma series, e.g., I dressed my ca in leaher sockings, boos
and miniskir, while Fowlers Modern English Usage implies ha you will be
ogged i you don pu a comma aer boos. For many o hese so-called con-roversies, i is acually he privilege o he auhor o decide. A senences rhyhm
migh skip a bea wih he inclusion or exclusion o a single comma, bu don le
mold grow in your coee wih debaing i. Language is remarkably dynamic
hough here are many saunch deenders o whom, is employmen may all by
he same wayside where shan is quiely roting.
Chapter 1 A Little Editing Music
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The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
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Don ge me wronggrammar and puncuaion are by no means merely subjec-
ive. Tere are some auhoriies o consul.Pinckers Pracical Grammaris my
source or a number o ediing atiudes, a book ha miraculously enough makes
reading abou grammar boh inormaive and amusing. For hose horny issues o
synax and semanics, I all back upon Te Chicago Manual o Syle (16h ediion)andMerriam-Websers Collegiae Dicionary, 11h Ediion as my arbiers o whas
righ and rue, and hough oher auhoriies migh cones cerain usage pracices
o heirs, I wouldn veer rom heir road. Unless, o course, a proposed correcion
was presened in a compelling way; exibiliy is as good in an edior as in an ac-
roba, you know. (Tere are elecronic versions o many o hese venerable omes
hese days, and hey can be a quick x or sicky grammar kerues, bu i I have
he ime, I sill like o peruse on paper.) Check he Syle Guide secion below or
elaboraion on elecronic aids o good grammar and is worhy pursui.
As I say in ha Syle Guide secion, my choices and ariculaions here aren he
end-all and be-allhey are suggesions and encouragemens or paying atenion
o your wriing.
Consisency is one o he keys or issues o syle. You migh arbirarily decide ha
you will always use lowercase leters o inroduce enries, e.g.,
a) a iskeb) a aske
so i would seem obviously conounding o have
A) a riscui
B) a asmanian devil
wo pages laer. Bu someimes he obvious jus ain soyou have o be vigilan o
be consisen, and sharply conscious o such disincions i heir insances are sca
ered hroughou a long documen.
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Chapter 2 Editing Tools
Editing Tools
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Ediing Tools
ime, which lendsitsel well to over-
editing, extends a fiendlier hand tothe editor or proo-reader who canbreathe slowly and
steadily while por-ing over a manu-script.
imeIn one o hose grand paradoxes ha so enliven exisence, I have o lis as a promi-
nen ediing ool one o he iems Ive also lised as an ediing piall: ime. A
documen ha is hurriedly edied is he he documen ha ges away wih having
he repeiion o he word he in his senence. Maybe you caugh i, maybe you
didn, bu chances are ha i you were in a hurry, your eye would skip by. ime,
which lends isel well o over-ediing, exends a riendlier hand o he edior or
prooreader who can breahe slowly and seadily while poring over a manuscrip.
O course, his isn really an issue in a business leter, bu or a documen o any
wordy subsance, ime is an allydon rush your edi.
Spellcheckers and Grammar CheckersSpeaking o he double he in he paragraph above brings up ediing allies o
a more ambiguous naurespellcheckers and grammar (or syle) checkers. A
spellchecker is a very useul ool, and one ha should be employed as a rs line
o deense in a documen; mos o hem now would aler you when insances like
wo hes ripple he rug o your senences. However, I hink hey can give you a
sense o alse securiy. Any wriing o real imporance should be reviewed aer
youve spellchecked i, or hey won see he you as wrong when you meanyour; hey won ag homophones (like o, oo, and wo) as a misake when
misakes are made, ec.
As or grammar checkers, many o hem will nd syle misakes such as hose
above, bu I have ried several and even hough hey can be cusomized o ignore
your deliberae misakes (such as he use o he passive voice), I hink hey are
only useul or wriers unamiliar wih common sandards o writen language, and
are more o a hindrance han an aid. Tey can be useul or indicaing a cerain
reading level in a piece o wriing (hey will ell you i your wriing has oo many
big words and wha reading level o audience i is slaned oward), bu even hen
hey are clumsy and no responsive o nuance in wriing. Submi he passages
o your avorie wriings o hemhey will generae such criicism ha youll
wonder how wain or Shakespeare could have ever ound prin. Ive argued wih
Words grammar checker on muliple occasions, and he damn hing jus won
lisen. Is never bough me a drink eiherhmmmph!
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The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
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Guide secion. O course, like all good menal ahlees, grammarians like o ussle a
bi, so you may nd ino hasgasp!considered reasure in one corner, ripe in
anoher.
Speaking o dicionaries, hey are an ediors bes riend (because you can hrow
hem a wriers). Keep one nearby and reer o i oen, even i jus o learn he
eymology o hyrax and oher indispensable words. O course, Im beraying myhoary origins by praising paper dicionaries; ull disclosure: when I worked on he
rs Guenberg Bible, I used o use a pica scale (someimes called a pica ruler), a
litle plasic ruler-like hing ha gave me precise measuremens o ype and lead-
ing. And hose guys hough I was bleeding-edge.
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Chapter 3 Types of Editing
Types of andApproaches
to Editing
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The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
14The Write Word
Types of & Approaches o Ediing
Brief or Relatively Unimportant DocumentsTere are probably as many ways o edi as here are o make pancakes (email
me your avorie recipes); well consider a ew. Some ediorial procedures are
deermined by he documen isel: you would give a cerain degree o precise
atenion o a scienic reaise ha wouldn be given o a movie review. A lo
o wha Im discussing below is i you are an in-house copyedior or some oher
loy ofce holder; i you are an independen wrier, goodness (and badness)
knows ha youd beter edi everyhing youre producing wih a hard eye. Cliens
can be sicklers or rivial deails like spelling heir names correcly.
Say you were he edior a a soware company, as I was many years ago. I you
were veriying sysem requiremens, you probably wouldn wan he documen-
aion o soware requiremens o read a lo o RM. However, colorul or
subjecive or no-alogeher precise language abou he soware could peaceully
exis in an adverisemen wihou qualm. Conex is crucial.
Some broad generaliies o consider: Does he documen mee is goals? Does i
address he appropriae audience and vice versa? (Tis is no o ask i i undress-es your audience.) Is he level o deail oo scany, or oo heavy?
Les consider some ypes o company documens: For an inernal memo or
email, you could simply re-read i or sense, making sure o run he spell-check.
A business leter o any subsance migh require analyzing i or coherency and
logic, inclusion o he spell-check, and perhaps a prinou o read over beore
you send your nal dra. Adverising, markeing and sales copy need all o hose
concerns me, and perhaps a reading aloud o noe he pich and rhyhm o hemessage.
Long documens, such as whiepapers or company posiioning saemens
require ull scruiny: prin ou he documens, mark hem up wih your ediing
pen, and go over hem again. Tough I do edi longish documens on he screen,
i is somehing ha is criical or or which a company needs o pu orh is bes,
burnished ace, prin i and read i wih care, more han once.
Clients can be stick-lers or trivial details
like spelling theirnames correctly.
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Longer DocumentsFor he manual or signicanly long documen, ediing is usually done in phases.
For example, les say you are going o edi a 10-page proposal describing in deail
a soware game youve designed, your rs ever, somehing youve labored on or
a year. Les say he proposal is going o someone who could make or break he
games publicaion. Les say ha someone is a noable yran who is a sickler or
he unbending rules o good grammar and composiion. Les say he proposal
will be complex, wih included graphics. Tis is probably somehing you wan o
boh read well and look welldon do your nal hard-copy proo while youre
eaing lobser.
VoiceWhen youre working wih anohers wriing, wheher wihin your company or
as a conracor, you need o recognize and proec he original voice o he piece.Tis can especially come o he ore or a longer documen, bu also can be preva-
len in websie copy, where he company expresses is characer in one, word
selecion and even he lengh o senences. Make a conscious eor o reain he
eel o he piece: i i uses slang or inormal language, don inser any ponderous
verbiage ha makes he reader wonder i he wrier has muliple personaliies.
O course, i is par o your job as an edior o sugges ha he ace o a piece
migh be oo ormal, oo wordy, oo riendly or is inended audience or goal.Bu major shis in he characer o an aricle o wriing should be discussed wih
your clien or your boss beore you decide o inser any naughy limericks in an
annual repor, jus o spice i up a bi.
EXAMPLES OF EDITING STAGES
Sage 1: Ouline
Here you would examine he documens ouline (i i has one), assessing is
overall srucure and deermining i here are missing or superuous subjecareas.
Sage 2: Firs Dra (Conen Edi)
Tis is where subsanive srucural changes can be suggesed: changes in overall
one or slan, deep shiing o paragraphs, suggesions o ampliy or discard ideas,
ec. Tis migh be he mos difcul edi, because he documen is sill in manu-
When youre work-ing with anothers
writing, whetherwithin your compa-ny or as a contrac-tor, you need to rec-ognize and protect
the original voice othe piece.
Chapter 3 Types of Editing
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The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
16The Write Word
scrip, and doesn have he bene o layou and graphics (i i is a documen
desined o hose heighs) o clariy hings. Tis ype o edi is a conen edi,
prooreaders pen pu aside, no conscious atenion paid o grammar or spelling.
A conen edi is done o:
scan for readability, structure and logic
look for how the ideas are developed, supported and elaborated upon look for paragraphs that have a natural bond with their preceding and succeed-
ing brehrenunless you are he cray wrier ha can urn a sarling corner in a
documen wihou leaving your reader breahless.
Tis ype o edi is a reading or sense, o veriy ha he premises or hemes o he
work are persuasive and aren larded wih superuous ideas or empy suicases o
words (and o make sure hose suicases are idily packed!). In his kind o edi,
you would consider moving enire paragraphs around or removing enire para-graphs. I he documen ruly needed he scalpel, you migh have o address i i
mees he overall inended heme.
Sage 3: Correced Manuscrip (Line Edi)
Tis sage reas he correced manuscrip, in which you migh sill make con-
siderable changes, bu hey shouldn be o broad srucural value. From here on
ou, he edior mus be conscious o conning edis o he requesed leveldon
make heme/syle changes unless hey conribue a necessary adjusmen o hecopy. Comprehensive issues o ocus, one and organizaion should already be
setled.
Here is where you would probably perorm your line edi, where you atenively
consider consrucion and phrasing; here any spelling and grammaical miscues
are re-cued. Also, he correcness o inormaion mus be veried: hings like
phone numbers, echnical specicaions, and legal issues, i hey are naive o he
documen. I his piece were circulaing hrough all company deparmens, henAdminisraors, esearchers, Projec Managers and Bosses migh all have heir
sho a careul reading and careul correcing or heir respecive concerns. Te
same climbing (or sadly, descending) he rungs could ake place i you are ediing
or a clien, who urns ou o have seven levels o review. Is vial o ge hese ma-
ers setled a his sage, because correcions a he layou sage are more complex
(graphic elemens and heir ex counerpars can be orn asunder) and more
ime-consumingand hus more rusraing or all. We all need o pay atenion
a his sage.
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The Dance of Language
Tis is also he ime or ediors o consider a senences rhyhm: wo senences
can conain similar ideas and meaning, bu one migh shimmy like Fred Asaire
and he oher like Fred Munser. Which would you wan as your dance parner?
Consider:
Aer a long , loping run hrough he green expanse o he oueld, he ball setled in hisglove like a utering dove.
and
He ran and caugh he ball.
Or perhaps:
So we bea on, boas agains he curren, borne back ceaselessly ino he pas.
and
Tas he way i goes.
O course, you migh be choking wih Hemingwayian rage, saying ha he second
senences are clearly superior o he rs, which migh blushingly admi o being
a ouch overwrough, F. Scot nowihsanding. Im no disagreeingno exacly.
Again, conex is he hing. Flutering doves migh have no place in your business
leter, bu perhaps heres a place where hey migh nes in your proposal. Wha
Im saying is ha we can oen overlooko our discredihe ac ha writen
communicaion has a rhyhm, a sound heard in your mind. Paying atenion o
how one senence, or even one word, passes on he baon o he nex is impor-
an. Senences have movemen and body. I you are seadily climbing he rope
o a senence and when you reach or he nex word your hand grips a rog raher
han he rope, is a bi unpleasan. Jus be aware o he rogs in your wriing.
In his regard, one o he bes ways o check a piece o wriing is o read i aloud
places where you sumble are oen hose places where he wriing has no legs,
or one leg oo many. I realize ha reading your work aloud may promp your
ofce mae in he cubicle nex o you o pu pasa sauce on your keyboard. I
circumsances preven reading aloud, learn how o read aloud in your mind. Wih
pracice, his mehod can be eecive: you will hear wheher he ow o words
has a big clo in he pipes. You can begin o hear he dierence beween a ne
mis o words and a gushing caarac. When you ge really good, youll be able o
hear he suble dierence beween a dash and a comma, and his will make your
command o hem all he beter. ry i.
Chapter 3 Types of Editing
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The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
18The Write Word
Also, be sure in your line edi o:
pay aention to chapter heads, subheads, title pages and the like (if there are
any o hese), because is oen his big display ype ha can ge he beter o you,
while youre paying minue atenion o he body copy.
always double-check the obviouswhen youre a journalist you want to make
sure ha he name o he person youre slandering is spelled righ. Is easy o
overlook he big, bold ype in avor o he ex; you don wan o make all o
hose evil degeneraes who only gain pleasure by poining ou a prooreaders
error happy, now do you?
Sage 4: Layou or Page Proos (Visual Edi)
Aer you complee your line edi and veriy your correcions, is ime or a
visual edi. Visual edis are bes done on he prined page, unless youre pressed
or ime. are are he people who can prooread beter onscreen han on paper.
Some documens will never ge o his phase, because hey are solely ex, or have
an innocuous, simple layou. Bu or hose pieces ha do move o a layou sage,
his phase, when he documen has come back rom layou, brings up a hos o
ormating concerns o be conscious o in addiion o exual issues.
Tis is where you concern yoursel wih maters like:
alignments (you know, those pesky decimals)
leer and word spacing, and leading, or line spacing.
I you have pu your documen in a deskop publishing program like InDesign
or Quark, you have some conrol over leter and word spacing, which can be he
source o some visual anomalies in your ype. You migh nd some lines wih
grea gaps beween words and some lines soighthatheycanbreahe.
I is a documen where he visuals are a deep concern, you migh wan oeliminae widows and orphans, which are single words or single lines a he ops
or botoms o pages ha can make a documen look blochy. Speaking o he
botoms o pages, he visual edi is also where you veriy he paginaion and he
conen o chaper idenicaion ooers, ec., i is a book-like ediion. Again, i
is a deskop publicaion, be sure o look a all o he lines ha end a paragraph
or heir coninuiy and sense, because hey can someimes can be rolled up
and obscured by he layou program.
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One old ediors rick (here are ew hings worse han an old edioraagh! Te
smell o cigars!) is o urn your documen upside down o see i he spacing is
even beween heads and subheads and beween lines o ex. Ta way you don
have he disracion o he conen o he words, jus a visual view o he docu-
men.
You mus also consider ype syles, line breaks, paginaion, whie space and
graphics placemen (including checking words wihin graphics), and ha cerain
inangible eel or color o a page, as ypographers say. You shouldn be mak-
ing major ex changes a his poin unless you can supply he budge o cover
i and be responsible or dealing wih any anxieies abou prining and shipping
deadlines. O course, wih he decline o prin, hese concerns aren as prevalen
as hey once were. Bu i you are dealing wih imporan prin-sage documens,
only a very, very naughy in-house colleague or ouhouse (did I say ha?) clienwould venure o sugges changes now ha would be congenially welcomed a
Sage 3.
I is a long documen ha more han one person works on, you have o be very
careul o check any correcions agains he original edied manuscrip. More
han once has a correcion resuled in anoher misake nearbySaan never
sleeps, you know. Elecronic versioning has eliminaed some o hese concerns,
bu when you are a he elevenh hour wih a deadline, and you are looking a
prined copies (and even elecronic ones) shared among ediors, conusion can
sill make or calamiy.
O course, i you are wriing o your mechanic o complain abou being over-
charged on your une-up, you wouldn go hrough all o hese sages. Jus make
sure your curses are on arge and ha you cc: your lawyer. And o course, when
youre nished, read i over, again. All good documens deserve he avor o an
edi.
Sage 5: Bluelines, Page Proos, Galley Proos and Oher Aniquiies
Even wih odays digial plaes, or long, prined documens like manuals or
guides, companies usually sill receive some orm o nal proos, such as a blue-
line, page proos or galley proos. No mater heir name, you sill have o check
heir credenials. A his sage, you should scan every page again (no a line edi,
Chapter 3 Types of Editing
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bu a swi review edi) and i you have ime, look over random pages again in
heir enirey, veriying paginaion hrough he chaper headings and able o
conens (and paginaion hroughou), checking ha senences end paragraphs
properly (hey can drop ou and lose lines), ha ex ows rom one page o
anoher, ec. Check all he graphics or clariy. I here are many errors in hese
random pages, you probably need o go hrough he whole damn hing again.
So now ha youve presened your splendidly composed documen o your be-
necen boss or your congenial clien and hes signed he conrac or he design
o he une o dancing dollars, remind hem no o orge your riendly neighbor-
hood edior. We ge ired o eaing cheese sandwiches oo.
General Editing Edicts (and a good soldier he was)
A ew general consideraions (some unabashedly solen rom Pincker): Eliminate the inessential. Pare down the superuous verbiage, and if you think
here isn any, slam a sho o espresso and look again. (Or jus read anyhing Ive
writenyoull see wha no o do.)
Vary your sentence paerns. Sentences of the same lengththat have the
one-wo-hree o subjec, verb, objechave he regular rhyhm o he sleepers
breah. And he smell. Push he verbs o he ron, use subordinae clauses, pause
in your senences middle, srangle your senencehere are a million ways o
make words work; ry some. Dont overqualify your ideas (i.e., eliminate the weak knees). Too many some-
imes or in his insance or probably or maybes or mighs end o ake
he muscle ou o your work. I have a endency o do his, sor o, a litle. ell he
world: Brussels sprous are hideous!no kind ohideous.
All writing is rewriting. Its been said that you should go through your work and
remove hose pars you like he bes, because hey are your avorie pe ideas or
expressions or he ashy ricks ha disrac by calling atenion o hemselves.
Tis one is ough.
If youre editing someone elses work, dont practice editing as confrontation.
Tis is where you migh arbirarily nd errors o demonsrae he wriers or
perhaps anoher ediors incompeence. I you are no he original wrier, your
work should shape he expression o he wriers houghs, no he houghs
hemselves. A good edior enhances he wriers srenghs.
If you ll your business writing with words like proactive and parameters,
has your choice, bu please include a clohespin so readers can clip heir noses.
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Chapter 4 We Have Proof!
We HaveProof!
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Deeper degrees oedit indicate that
you are conidentthat the editing sug-gestion makes a ma-terial improvementto the writing.
Chapter 4 We Have Proof!
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Advise for the Lovescorned
(Tales from the Cryptic)
Tink youve go relaionship problems? Guess again, Bucko. ead his leter
one o o our cusomers accidenally sen us raher han her regisraion card and
youll know ha youre squeeze is valenino by comparison.
My boyriend is a Vampire. Is a problem as old as ime; perhaps even older. As
you know, he undead never really call i quis, never walk graceully ou o he
picure, never le honeyed memory sweeen he rue bie o heir deeds. Basically,
hey jus hang around 24hour bowling alleys, say insolen hings o all-nigh
convenience sore clerks, and drink an occasional six-pack o plasma rom he
necks o sozzled sooges ha wobble heir las unorunae walk down darkened
alleys.
LookIm no complaining. Ok, so he doesn make i o my company picnics,
oen spilled old grave yard dir ou o his cus and ono my carpes, and doesn
show me any aecion unless Ive jus goten a very drippy paper cuI can deal
wih i.
Te real problem is his parens. You don know rouble unil youve deal wih a
vampires parens. Always harping on he ehnic hing: W hy can you nd a nice
ransylvanian girl? W haever happened o ha lovely wich, Gellspitle, who aleas had an decen job, raising black widows? Tis skinny warless wonder wih
he dreadul clean house and he open curainswhere have we gone wrong?
Hey, is no like I haven ried. I go up wih hem nigh aer nigh a 4 o play
Scrabble and o each he ras o whisle, bu he bags under my eyes began o
look like Jiy Pop packages. I drew he line a he ba hing: would anyone you
know dress up in a ull-on ba ou, swoop down winding saircases, and ry o
locae he rerigeraor by sonar, like his parens asked?
So I guess is over. Ive sared going ou wih some raerniy guy; hes swee bu
a litle dumb. I guess I go used o FrankIm a litle bi repulsed by how an he
ra boys skin is, and he doesn quie ge i when I ell him ha I really, really like
o have my neck biten. Oh well, i could have been worse. A leas Franks clohes
were sharpI could have gone ou wih Mummy.
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Advice for the Lovescorned
(Tales from the Cryptic)
Tink youve go relaionship problems? Guess again, Bucko. ead his leter one
o our cusomers accidenally sen us raher han her regisraion card and youll
know ha your squeeze is Valenino by comparison.
My boyriend is a vampire. Is a problem as old as ime, perhaps even older. As you
know, he undead never really call i quis, never sep graceully ou o he picure,
never le honeyed memory sweeen he rue bie o heir deeds. Basically, hey jus
hang around 24-hour bowling alleys, say imperinen hings o all-nigh conve-
nience sore clerks, and drink an occasional six-pack o plasma rom he necks o
sozzled sooges ha wobble heir las unorunae walk down darkened alleys.
LookIm no complaining. OK, so he doesn make i o my company picnics, o-
en spills old graveyard dir ou o his cus and ono my carpes, and doesn show
me any aecion unless Ive jus goten a very drippy paper cuI can deal wih i.
Te real problem is his parens. You don know rouble unil youve deal wih a
vampires parens. Always harping on he ehnic hing: Why can you nd a nice
ransylvanian girl? W haever happened o ha lovely wich Gellspitle, who a
leas had a decen job, raising black widows? Tis skinny warless wonder wih he
dreadully clean house and he open curainswhere have we gone wrong?
Hey, is no like I haven ried. I go up wih hem nigh aer nigh a 4 o play
Scrabble and o each he ras o whisle, bu he bags under my eyes began o look
like Jiy Pop packages. I drew he line a he ba hing: would anyone you know
dress up in a ull-on ba ou, swoop down winding saircases, and ry o locae
he rerigeraor by sonar, like his parens asked?
So I guess is over. Ive sared going ou wih some raerniy guy; hes swee bu alitle dumb. I suppose I go used o FrankIm a litle bi repulsed by how an he
ra boys skin is, and he doesn quie ge i when I ell him ha I really, really like
o have my neck biten. Oh well, i could have been worse. A leas Franks clohes
were sharpI could have gone ou wih he Mummy.
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28The Write Word
Ediing Checklis
Ediing is a process o sages. Wihin sages, you should also progress in separae
seps. In oher words, don ry o look or all he hings in a given sage in one
review o he documen. You should go hrough he documen checking jus a ew
hingsor even one hinga a ime (e.g., look a only headings on one run-hrough, look a only page numbers on anoher, ec.). Depending on how many
imes you see he documen, you migh end up combining some o he sages
below. Even so, don ry o cover oo many bases wih each review o he dra.
NOE: Tis checklis is comprehensive in he sense ha i covers all he respon-
sibiliies o he main edior, direced oward an in-house edior, bu applicable o
all . A some ediorial requess, you migh only concern yoursel wih he checklis
iems in boldhas where you can really help in he ediorial process. O course,
i you happen o noice anyhing else ha needs xing, mark i oo.
Stage 1: Outline Dae: _____________
Examine the documents outline, assessing its overall structure
and organization. Check the order o inormation.
Determine i there are missing or superuous subject areas.
Stage 2: First Draf (Content Edit) Dae: _____________
A his poin youre reading or sense and logic, so youll be makingsubsanive srucural changes as necessary. Don ocus on grammar or
spelling.
Sugges changes in one or slan.
Look a readabiliy, srucure, ocus and logic.
Consider moving enire paragraphs around or removing paragraphs
alogeher.
Look a cohesiveness (does one paragraph ow rom he preceding one
and o he succeeding one?).
Sugges ampliying or discarding ideas.
Look or how he ideas are developed, suppored and elaboraed upon.
Pass he documen by relevan (i any) personnel (e.g., sales, producers,
ech supporers, markeers, ec.).
Check accuracy o inormation (last-minute changes, versions, etc.).
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Stage 3: Corrected Manuscript (Line Edit) Dae: _____________
Tis sage reas he correced manuscrip, in which you migh sill make consider-
able changes, bu hey shouldn be o broad srucural value. From here on ou,
he edior mus be conscious o conning edis o he requesed leveldon make
syle changes unless hey reec an acual error in he copy. Comprehensive issues
o ocus, one and organizaion should already be setled.
Consider consrucion and phrasing.
Check spelling and grammar.
Veriy the correctness o things like phone numbers, technical specs,
legal issues, name spellings, etc. Final responsibility or accuracy o
inormation rests with the author.
Noice senences rhyhm. Do hey sound polished? (ead hem aloud i
you need o.)
Post Layout
Stage 4: Layout or Page Proos (Visual Edit) Dae: _____________
Tis phase, when he documen has come rom layou, brings up a hos o orma-
ing concerns o be conscious o in addiion o exual issues (you shouldn be
making any major ex changes). Because o he number o edis a his phase, you
will probably have a ew rounds o checking ha he changes were made beore he
documen goes o press, i has is ae.Check correcions agains he original edied manuscrip. (Correced prob-
lems oen creae new ones.)
Look a alignmen.
Check leter and word spacing as well as leading, or line spacing.
Look a line breaks and page breaks.
Eliminae widows and orphans.
Check he correcness and clariy o graphics, veriying placemen and
making sure ha he graphic is he righ one.
Check words wihin graphics (legible?) and callous (righ one? spelling?
capializaion?).
Veriy paginaion (missing pages?) and he conen o chaper idenicaion
ooers.
Check headings: levels, syles, spacing, ec.
Make sure ype syles and ons are correc.
Check lines ha end a paragraph or coninuiy because hey can some-
imes be rolled up and obscured by he layou program.
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30The Write Word
Check ile pages and chaper heads.
Check headers, i any.
Veriy able o conens (OC) page accuracy.
Make sure you see all pages (ron pages and ile pages may no have
been included wih previous versions you edied).
Stage 5: Lino/Blueline/Page/Galley Proos Dae: _____________
Check correcions agains he original edied manuscrip.
Wihou reading he documen, scan every page looking or errors wih
graphics and ex.
I ime, look over a ew random pages more horoughly checking head-
ings, senences and paragraphs (ensuring ha hey didn drop ou)
and ha ex ows rom one page o anoher. (I here are many errors
on hese random pages, ha probably means you should look he whole
hing over again, in deail.)e-veriy able o conens (OC) page accuracy.
Veriy index page accuracy (selec a ew random ones i is a large docu-
men).
e-veriy paginaion.
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Chapter 5 Stylin in Style
Stylinin Style
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32The Write Word
Sylin in Syle
And since language(and its legislative
branch, grammar)is such a malleable,living thing, its al-ways un to see thedustups between the
prescriptivists andthe descriptivists.
Below is a decidedly non-comprehensive (you haven all day, aer all) lis o syle
and usage poins, pluckily solen rom syle and usage mavens across he globe. Ocourse, mavens end o argue a lo, so I jus exercised my own prejudices and chose
he examples I know in my prescripiviss hear are righ. (My descripiviss hear
wins mos o he oher argumens.) And since language (and is legislaive branch,
grammar) is such a malleable, living hing, is always un o see he dusups be-
ween he prescripiviss and he descripiviss. Being a pracical ellow, Im more
in he descripivis camp, hough I have o admi I someimes admire he ironclad
asserions o he prescripivis apparachiks, who HAE changing sandards. Or
non-sandard sandards. Or sandards ha slump a bi.
O course, i I ried o make his syle guide exhausive, i would exhaus you. You
can always Google or more examples o online syle guides. One o he newer
ones is Yahoos, ound a htp://syleguide.yahoo.com/wriing. Is go a secion
on wriing or he Web, which is, in hese days o chunkiying inormaion, help-
ul. And chunky. Yahoos guide also has an Ediing 101 secion, bu mines beter,
because hose guys who wroe heirs are Yahoos.
Anoher ha les you search or word, senence and paragraph-level grammar ishe Guide o Grammar and Wriing: htp://grammar.ccc.commne.edu/gram-
mar/. You can also check ou he BBC News syle guide online a htp://www.
bbcraining.com/pds/newssyleguide.pd. Is rom 2003, and arges journalisic
wriing (and o course youll hun endlessly or he Mony Pyhon jokes), bu is
jolly good.
Youll also be happy o know you can see he ull conens o he litle book,
Srunk and Whies Elemens o Syle, righ here: htp://www.barleby.com/141/
Youd do jus as well o read any o E.B. Whies essays or an in-he-eld example
o sellar wriing. Heck, even he Chicago Manual o Syle has an online version.
I originally wroe his guide as he basis or a company syle guide, needed by rms
o any size ha produce los o documens. However, Ive edied and augmened i
so ha i will help you pen love noes o he posman or apply or ha litle hodes
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Capitalization of Names and Terms
ry o avoid excessive capializaion in your ex. Youll nd ha you can represen
many words derived rom or associaed wih proper nouns as lowercase wihou
losing clariy. Te mos imporan rule is o be consisen.
Capialize civil, miliary, religious, proessional iles, and iles o nobiliy only
when hey immediaely precede a personal name as par o he name.Czar Micholinias Bremer nodded his head, and a housand oher heads were lopped
fom heir bodies.
I didn ake long or he oppressed peoples o design a special gi or he czar.
Colons
You usually use a colon o inroduce a lis or series. However, don use one i you
inroduce a lis wih expressions such as namely, or insance, or example, or ha
is. And don use a colon unless he lis consiss o one or more grammaically
complee clauses.
oger amje saved our naion in our ways: sopped a deadly come wih his denures,
plugged an eruping volcano wih old laundry, mixed acid rain wih jalapenos or
award-winning chili, and won a ussian roulete, annoying he ussians.
oger amje saved our naion in our ways, namely, sopped a deadly come wih his
denures, plugged an eruping volcano wih old laundry, mixed acid rain wih jalapenos
or award-winning chili, and won a ussian roulete, annoying he ussians.
A senence in which he erms as ollows or he ollowing direcly precede he
lised iems, or he inroducory senence is incomplee wihou hose iems,
requires a colon.
Te bes approach is as ollows:
Wake up
Stretch
Consider your obligations
Go back to bed
You should use a colon o inroduce a ormal saemen, an exrac, or a speech in
a dialogue.
A mensch isn a mensch unless:
He/she/it hears the beat of a dierent drummer.
He/she/it straightens out the curves and curves out the straights.
He/she/it thinks that soware preceded the Big Bang.
He/she/it hopes that the Messiah isnt dressed in workout clothes.
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36The Write Word
Avoid ending a page wih a colon (wih he lis maerials on he page ollowing).
Inser a page break or rewrie your ex o avoid his consrucion. Follow a colon
wih a single space. (And we don recommend ha he he/she/itconsrucion ever
darkens he door o any pages bu hese.)
CommasOmi commas aer shor inroducory phrases (our words or ewer) a he begin-
ning o a senence, excep where required or emphasis. I omiting he comma
migh conuse your reader, pu one in.
I we go now we ir wih disaser.
During his week we shall consruc he perec lollipop.
During Debbies reign, havoc ruled.
Use commas only wih numerals greaer han our digis.
Usurious charges: $6666
War-ridden charges: $33,000
Pages 100 hrough 1000 were lled wih obscene episodes.
And never orge: Te paper cu rom a comma splice is paricularly painul.
Cultural Periods
Culural periods recognized by archaeologiss and anhropologiss, or based upon
characerisic echnology, are capialized. Comparable modern designaions, how-ever, are bes le lowercase.
Te Sone Age
Te Bronze Age
Ice Age
space age
inormaion age
soned age
Dashes
I alwaysand I mean alwaysuse em-dashes in my wriing, because hey can sig-
nal a more pregnan pause han a comma, or can push a reader back rom he edge
o a clior hrow her over. Te visual dierence beween dashes can someimes
be suble, depending on he on, bu hey are disinc.
An em dash looks like his:
An en dash looks like his:
A hyphen looks like his: -
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Use em dashes (also seen as m-dashes) o sugges sudden changes in consruc-
ion or o se o parenheical elemens whose logical relaionship o he res o
he senence is more remoe han can be indicaed by commas. Do no pu spaces
around an em dash.
My primary ineresoher han padding my coers wih solen undswas o look
ou or he welare o he downrodden.
You can also use an em dash o reierae. In ha case, i would mean ha is. Never
use a dash in conjuncion wih ha is.
Yes: Teres only one course o ollowgrease your knees and play canasa.
No: Teres only one course o ollowha is, grease your knees and play canasa.
En dashes show range beween numbers o pages and running daes. Oherwise,
use he word o o indicae range. A hair space, or you layou acionados, is okay
o se o an en-dash, hough spacing around an en-dash is no ypical.
welve o hireen people lled ou he ush Limbaugh cosume.
We decided o sage a hree-day solar eclipse running fom November 13.
We decided o sage a hree-day solar eclipse running fom November 1 o 3.
Use hyphens in documens ha need o be plain ex. Also, in prin, youll oen
see wo hyphens--no spaces--serving as an em-dash.
She wore an isy-bisy, yellow polka-do bikini.
You know wha we like o do Friday nighs--pary!
Dates
Wrie daes as ollows:
On Ocober 20, 1954
In Ocober 1954
Never use all-gure daes. Te American syle o MM/DD/YY can be conusing
o inernaional readers and business conacs.
Cenuries and decades are spelled ou in reerence o paricular cenuries and
decades unless hey are par o a proper name.
he wenieh cenury
during he eighies
h cenury B.C.
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38The Write Word
Use gures when ideniying decades by cenury. Do no use aposrophes.
Te consuming scal res o he 1980s
Idolaers Symposium 95
1995 (no 95)
Ellipses
Ellipsis poins (he old do, do, do) indicae he omission o a word, phrase, lineor paragraph rom a quoaion or reerence. Use hree dos, wih a space on eiher
side, wihin a senence and use our a he end o a senence (an ellipsis ollowed
by a period). Using he ellipsis o indicae a broken rain o hough may appear
poeic, bu usually is a weak means o consrucion. Teres also a ypographical
characer or an ellipsis ha prevens he periods rom sraying ono anoher line;
is an operaing-sysem dependen (and someimes on-dependen) dingus, so
youll have o look i up.
Te brochure says, All sudens should . . . bring a video camera and a hare-brained
sandwich.
Te brochure guaranees, A ull reund is promised . . . .
End-of-Line Hyphenation
Because word processors and page-layou programs end o base hyphenaion
on an algorihm raher han he convenions o English word division, you migh
wan o urn o auomaic jusicaion and hyphenaion, or be especially vigilan
in double-checking or hyphenaion errors. emember ha dieren dicionaries
may break words in dieren places; all ediorial decisions o hese sors should bebased on he same dicionaryor me, Websers Elevenh Collegiae.
Exclamation Marks
In sandard business wriing, use an exclamaion mark only i i is par o quoed
maerial. Always ry o use emphaic words raher han emphaic puncuaion.
Fractions
Leave a space beween a whole number and a racion.
5 1/4 inches
Hyphens
wo words conneced by a hyphen are known as a compound. Compounds ypi-
cally evolve ino single words, such as posman or newspaper. Te correc usage
depends on he compounds sage o evoluion. In compuer erminology, he
rend is o eliminae hyphens and wrie a compound as a single word as soon as
popular usage indicaes i will become a permanen compound. Tus, words like
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sandalone and umbledown huddle in a group raher han a arms lengh. See he
secion on compound words in Te Chicago Manual o Syle or a good discussion
on compounds.
Italics
Ialicize all book, magazine, or newsleter iles. Se words used as words and
leters used as leters in ialics; se numbers used as numbers in roman. Ialicizeoreign words unless hey are commonplace.
We had a quibble over exisenialism. He hough i mean a philosophical move-
men and I knew i mean hree aspirins.
Tas Smyhe, wih an e.
You should use ialics only sparingly or emphasis. ry o express he same one
hrough he srucure o he wriing. emember o always ialicize any puncua-
ion marks ha immediaely ollow an ialicized word.
Italics in All-Italic Text
I you need o emphasize words in all-ialics ex, se he emphasized word(s) in
roman ypeace.
Te healh care crisis was precipiaed by bad baloney and poliicians wih sligh
lispsdoes anyone care?
Numbers
Spell out numbers up to and including ten; use numerals for numbers above tenExcepions:
If a sentence must start with a number above ten, it should be spelled out (un-
less he number is a daewhich should always be writen as a numeral).
If a sentence includes numbers both below and above ten, either spell out or use
numerals consisenly or all o hem.
Always write out millions, billions and up (3 billion, 105 million, ec.).
Use numerals for times of day, and use periods: 11 a.m., 3:15 p.m.
Use midnight and noon instead of 12:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m., to avoid any
possible conusion.
For values of less than one dollar, use the cents sign: 2 for two cents.
Dollars, euros, pounds, yen, lira and other forms of currency are referred to in
lower-case; use he appropriae symbol where available (, , ec.).
Phone number style: (XXX) XXX-XXXX (Some designer types like XXX.XXX
XXXX)
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40The Write Word
Numbers Used as Adjectives
Use a hyphen when a number is par o a compound adjecive preceding a noun.
a 10 1/2-foot sandwich
However, i he adjecive is no par o a compound, don hyphenae:
a sandwich of 10 1/2 feet
Parentheses
I you employ muliple parenheical houghs in a single senence, mos gram-
marians sugges ha you alernae beween brackes and parenheses, or even go
o he lengh o using curly brackes or he eriary use, bu he use o sandard
parenheical symbols hroughou is ne oo. Mos grammarians also say o sruc-
ure your senences so you don have o use a parenheical, bu I don lisen,
because mos grammarians are nebbishes. (Nyah, nyah! Come and ge me!)
Plurals
Acronyms and Abbreviaions
o orm he plural par o an acronym or abbreviaion, add an s bu no aposro-
phe.
ICs, RMs, OMs
Adjecives
Don add s o an adjecive unless necessary. For example, is elecronic circuibu
elecronics engineer. Oher words ha all ino his class o adjecives are graphicand graphics, communicaion and communicaions, numeric and numerics.
Leters, Characers, Symbols
o orm he plural o a leter, characer, or symbol, add an aposrophe and an s.
ps 6s, +s
Words as Words
Form he plural o a word ialicized o show ha i is used as a word by adding an
aposrophe and an s. Don ialicize he aposrophe or he s.
His senences had oo many qualicaions: los o bus.
Possessives
Form singular possessives o boh common and proper nouns by adding an apos-
rophe and an s. Form he possessive o plural nouns by adding an aposrophe
only.
Te cars exhaus
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Te Macinoshs wink
Te persimmons leakage
Alhough here is conroversy among grammarians, mos agree ha you should
omi he s or singular possessives ha look and sound like plurals. So, i is awk-
ward o say he word wih an s aer he aposrophe, leave i o.
Jesus magnicence
Alhough is probably bes o avoid ha paricular usage and jus word he sae-
men dierenly:
Te magnicence o odney Dangerelds lower lip.
Is is possessive.Is is he conracion oi is.
Is no wonder Bobs ca is losing is mind.
Youris possessive. Youre is he conracion oyou are.
Youre misaken i you hink has where youre going o park your beas o a Lincoln.
Teiris possessive. Teyre is he conracion ohey are.Tere is where you are
when you ge here.
Teyre airing heir complains over here, a he cusomer service desk.
Prexes, Sufxes
You should generally use a closed syle (no hyphenaed) or prexes and sufxes.CheckTe Chicago Manual o Syle or elaboraion and examples.
gridlike
mulicolored
mulicompany
naionwide
nonechnical
preexising
reenry
Common excepions or prexes include all-, by-, cross-, ex-, hal-, sel-, and quasi-.
all-purpose
by-produc
cross-reerence
sel-condence
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The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
42The Write Word
Common excepions or sufxes include -cos, -size, -syle, -ype, and -wise.
low-cos alernaive
media-wise consumer
medium-size group
Quotation Marks
Te close quoe ollows he period a he end o a senence, even when a quoebegins mid-senence. Tis seems illogical, bu his is English, so jus do i. (You
like o be ordered abou, don you?) Tough hose Englishy English, he Bris, do
his quie he opposie.
Youre sill going o gh us on his, saying hings like, I don buy i.
Te close quoe, or a word ollowed by a comma, ollows he comma.
Te spreadshee columns on your screen should be Firs Quarer, Second Quarer,
and Tird Quarer.
Te close quoe, or a word or phrase ollowed by a colon or semicolon, precedes
he colon or semicolon.
He said, Ill call you; hen he le.
Single and Double Quoes
Use double quoaion marks or quoed words, phrases and senences. Only
use single quoes around a word, phrase or senence when i alls wihin quoes.
Again, Briish usage varies.Ten he said, You migh say youre income decien, bu I hink he governmen calls
i unemployed.
Block Syle
I you se o a quoaion in block syle, do no use quoaion marks. For quoes
wihin he block, use double quoes.
ick ogers, who reviewed he game, had only good hings o say:
Te graphics were superb, he sound eecs a blas, and he music inspir-
ing. As a mater o ac, I don hink Ive ever seen a game so consis-
enly superior across he board. Believe me, when you play Bloviaing
Cowboy, youll say, I love wha his game does o me. And youll be
addiced.
Smar vs. Sraigh Quoes
Use curly (IBM) or smar (Mac) quoes, raher han he "sraigh" ones. (Look
a he quoes around he words curly and sraigh o see he dierence.) In MS
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The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
44The Write Word
Paragraphs
Business correspondence should be single-spaced. Double-space beween para-
graphs only i you are no indening he rs line o he paragraph. You should
no do bohleave a space beween paragraphs and inden he rs line. In
lenghy business repors you can double-space he able o conens, ables, and
oher iems ha are much easier o read wih more space.
Headings
Don be imid wih headings in business leters, memos and repors. Tey usu-
ally improve your documen by making he organizaion very clear. You should
have a line space above a heading and, i you like, hal a line-space beween he
heading and he ollowing paragraph.
Symbols
Always spell ou percen in ormal body copy; don use he % sign. Use he
percen symbol in ables or gures only, and hen only when needed or space.
Always spell ou inches, ee, and degrees.
oves producs should be comorably in your ace 90 percen o your spare ime.
obers skull, hough only our inches in diameer, is lled wih anasic noions.
Tere are six degrees o separaion beween me and Beelzebub.
Time
Never use 12 noon or 12 midnighnoon and midnighare sufcien. And a.m.
andp.m. are always lowercase, wih periods and no spaces. Never use oclock.ime zones are only capialized when abbreviaed.
6:30 p.m.
7 p.m. (no 7:00 p.m.)
ES (bu easern sandard ime)
Preferred Words and TermsTe ollowing lis conains some useul examples o preerred words or phrases
and heir spellings, along wih heir varians, oen a wordier way o say he samedurn hing. In general, when he dicionary liss wo spellings, he rs is pre-
erred.
a lo no alo (a lois always wo words)
a period no a period o ime
abou no wih reerence o
abou no wih regard o
according o no depending on
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aec no impac
aer no subsequen o
aerward no aerwards
aid, help, assis no aciliae
also, and no addiionally
alhough no despie he ac ha
and ohers no e al.
are no designed o be
because no due o he ac ha
beween you and me no beween you and I (wrong!)
beore no prior o
by, wih no by means o
by way o, hrough no via
carry ou no eecuae, execue
cenered on no cenered around
change no modicaion
dieren rom no dieren handimmed, unavailable no grayed
easy o use no ease o use
excep no wih he excepion o
ace no on
or no on behal o
or no he purpose o
gray no grey
i no in case
in summary no o summarize he above
inside no inside o
like no along he lines o
now no a he presen ime
occasionally no on a ew occasions
resemble no look somehing like, look similar
o
run no execue
since no in view o
so ha no wih he resul ha
speciy no deailsop, end no abor
ha is no i.e.
hen no aer his is accomplished
iled, named no eniled
o no in order o
oward no owards
underscore no underline
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46The Write Word
use (noun) no uilizaion
use (verb) no uilize
wih no in conjuncion wih
A Final Bit of Biz About Adverbs and Adjectives
Speaking o syle, some o us in he crowd, and I won name names (hough heiniials om Benley come o mind) can someimes be a litle, how you say, ex-
pressive in our expressions. Tose voluble souls like o hear he rollicking sounds
o words sacked aop words, subordinae phrases linking arms wih comely
clauses, merry parenheicals doing he minue in he middle o a senence.
Well. Teres a ellow whose work I mighily admire, and has Mark wain. He
said, I you see an adverb, kill i. Tus, he mighily in ha senence above
should be wrihing on his page, is lieblood spilled. Old Sam is righ in he sense
ha i you have a senence like She wearily, heavily cas he bon-bon a his sim-pering ace, i eliminaes making a picure in a readers mind. I, insead you ried,
She sighed, raised her arm, and in slow moion lobbed a bon-bon a his ace,
here is boh more characer developmen in he senence, as well as a verb ha
inimaes a less-han-orceul hrow.
Wha you wan are your verbs o have he verve: you don need o accompany
a verb wih oppish oo soldiers i your verb carries is own sword. And your
clever eye probably also saw ha I lopped o he simpering (much as I love heword, sigh) rom he senence as well. Yep, excess adjecivizing pus ankle weighs
on your work as well. I know, I know, you LOVE your adverbs and adjecives.
Me oo. (And parenheses oo.) Jus be conscious o heir overuse, and perhaps
your reliance on hem o muscle your verbiage along. Tey can be quie abby in
pracice.
By he way, you can cerainly have your characers simper. Bu ake he challenge
o conveying heir coy ways in heir acions, no hrough bland descripion. I
know is ough. Ill ry i i you will.
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The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
48The Write Word
A Pockeful of General Usage Tips
Active and Passive
A is hear, wriing is abou people doing hings. Aciviy is ineresing. Where
you can, wrie senences wih subjecs ha are doing hings, and no subjecs ha
are simply receiving acions perormed upon hem. Compare hese wo senences
A sance will be held by he companys direcors nex week.
Te companys direcors will hold a sance nex week.
Te rs is an example o he passive voice; he second is he acive voice. Don be
pu o, is really very simple: he passive voice is where somehing or someone is
aced upon, and he acive voice has an acor, somebody or hing doing somehing
or anoher. Acive verbs and consrucion are inherenly more compelling and
dynamic han passive ones.
Acive voice: A does B.Passive voice: B is done (usually by A).
Te acive voice will help give your wriing some vialiy and lie. I can also make
a weak senence more emphaic and give i greaer impac. Compare hese exam-
ples. Te rs is in he passive, he second acive:
Tere were rios in several owns in Norhern England las nigh, in which police clashed
wih sone-hrowing youhs.
Youhs hrowing sones clashed wih police during rios in several owns in NorhernEngland las nigh.
Te here is, here are consrucions are overused. Why wase ime saing ha
somehing exiss when you could ge on wih i and describe he acion? Te
imagery in he second version is much more vivid and powerul and helps he
audience o visualize wha wen on.
And/Or
ewrie o avoid his consrucion. And/or else.
Danglers
Check ou hese palry pups:
I ound guily, he nancial wizard oversigh commitee could ne he wicked nancial
wizards.
Aer eaing my lunch, he waier engaged me in conversaion.
When rying o log on, he sysem rejecs my password.
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Phrases a he beginning o a senence need a noun or a pronoun, and hey will
cling o he rs one ha comes along. Tis can make nonsense o your wriing. In
hese examples, he oversigh commitee is no a risk o being ound guily, he
waier did no ea my lunch, and he sysem is no rying o log on.
I your wriing causes conusion, so ha readers have o pause and check he parso your senence o work ou exacly wha you mean, you have los hem. Wrie
simply, wrie clearly, and i you mus use his kind o consrucion (called a dan-
gling modier), make sure ha he somehing o be modied is righ nex o he
phrase. Ten you will no wrie like his:Aer orbiing he aseroid or more han a
year, he mission scieniss decided o se he probe down on is surace.
Due To
No due o he ac ha. A phrase beginning wih due o mus uncion as a
subjec complemen; i canno uncion as an independen preposiional phrase.
(Hows ha or scolding?)
No: Due o your consan carping , your memories were shredded.
Yes: We shredded your memories due o your consan carping.
Listing and Itemizing
Use a lis o emphasize key poins and presen seps or insrucions. A lis saves
your readers ime by allowing hem o review a considerable amoun o inorma-
ion a a glance. Make your senence srucure parallel or all iems in a lis. Ta is,i you begin he rs bulle poin wih a verb, be sure and begin he ohers he same
way.
Provide a clear ransiion beween he inroducory ex and he lis. End he inro-
ducion wih a colon i i and he iems lised are incomplee senences. I he ex
in your lis is so long ha he concep can be grasped quickly, sar overor sick
o sraigh body copy.
Short Lists
When a lis consiss o words or phrases (ha is, no complee senences), you
don need o capialize he rs leter o each word, hough you should i your lis
is mainly phrases. Do no puncuae he lis: do no pu a period a he end o each
iem, or a he end o he las iem. (For such a simple lis, you don even need
numbers or bulles in ron, bu somehing oen looks beter han nohing.)
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The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
50The Write Word
For our ski rip, be sure o pack:
1. ood
2. skis and boos
3. chains
4. a map o how o ge here
5. ood
6. ski pans
7. urleneck sweaer
8. ood
9. eigh gallons o whiskey
Beore using SimWhaever, you should know how o:
Fill out a registration card
Use a mouse
Use menus and submenus Read (the manual is Shakespearean)
Click and drag
Bulleted Lists
ypically, bulleed liss ouline or summarize key ideas. Use incomplee senences
i he inroducory senence is incomplee, and keep he consrucion parallel. You
should have a leas wo, and preerably hree or more, iems o lis. A period a he
end o every line in a series o bulles is opional.
Here we underake he proposiion ha he fuicake will be he downall o civilizaion.
Youll undoubedly agree wih hese hypoheses:
Benedict Arnold was known to send uitcakes at the holidays.
Even Jack Daniels tastes bad with uitcake.
Fruitcakes have no documented spiritual life.
A uitcake couldnt possibly save you om drowning.
Numbered Lists
Use numbered liss or sequenial liss in sep-by-sep insrucions. When wriinginsrucions, use imperaives (commands or orders, or example, open his, say
ha, wrie his) o insruc he user o perorm asks. Use ransiion words o mark
ime and sequence. And use shor senences and brie paragraphs o keep your
poins clear and sraighorward.
1. Open he le by double-clicking on i.
2. I ha ails, call sweely o he le in a melodious voice.
3. I he le sill won open, grasp i rmly wih wo hands and ear.
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Deniion Liss
When you are dening specic erms or relaionships in a abular (or columnar)
orma, use a deniion lis. In oher words, you ener he name o he erm, hen
dene or elaborae on i.
Save Buton Saves seleced species fom environmenal desrucion.
ave Buton Plays hours o achycardiac music accompanied by srobe lighs. Knave Buton Causes every characer in he game o behave like New Gingrich.
Pronouns
ry o avoid gender wars by subsiuing you or one or he or she. Use boh he
or his and she or her; omi he pronoun; or change a singular reerence o plural.
Tere is some conenion, bu major reerence works, such as he Oxord English
Dicionary, and prevalen usage, accep he use o a plural pronoun o reer o a
singular subjec. Avoid he he/she consrucion.
No: Everyone wih a pe marmo should begin cleaning his or her pe now.
Yes: All hose wih a pe marmo should begin cleaning heir pes now.
There Is, There Are
As menioned, avoid using here is or here are o begin senences. Wih pracice
you can ge ino he habi o nding beter consrucions.
No: Tere are dancing hard drives on order.
Yes: Dancing hard drives are on order.
Tink in erms odoingraher han beingha old acive/passive:
No: Tere were no illusraions nor ho udge sundaes in our documenaion.
Yes: Our documenaion lacked illusraions and sundaes.
Writing Clearly
Below are some basic suggesions or wriing eecively. O course he require-
mens o orma, one and message dier according o audience and inenion.
A business leter writen o a clien would vary grealy in one rom maerial in
websie conen, which can occasionally be seen o exhibi he dreaded creaive
wriing, wih all o is pialls and persuasions. Every ype o wriing, however,
mus adhere o some shared sandards o communicaion. I originally wroe a lo
o his guide in regards o wriing soware documenaion, bu mos o i applies
o wriing in general.
Tere are many reerence works o help you shape your wriing syle: Karen
Gordons puncuaion and grammar epics: Te New Well-empered Senence and
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The Write Words Easy Editing and Spiffy Style Guide
52The Write Word
Te New ransiive Vampire, Srunk and W hies classic Te Elemens o Syle,
William Zinssers On Wriing Well,Te Merriam Webser Dicionary o English
Usage, anyhing Mark wain ever wroe. (Oops! Am I beginning o display some
prejudices?) You may noice ha some o hese auhors occasionally violae he
suggesions or simple senence consrucion. Hey, heyre proessionals! Heres
how o begin:
Avoid using qualiers. Words like raher, litle, very, prety, and quie weaken
an argumen. ry no o use oally, compleely, or absoluely as superlaives. For
example:
Michael is like he oally bichin boss.
Gives no more inormaion han
Michael is a grea boss. (Did you see his one, Michael?)
Sexist Language (also see Pronouns above)
We have a language difculy: is lack o a singular pronoun o reer o a mixed
group or o an individual whose sex is no known o us a he ime we wrie.
Working wih wha we have and perhaps riding he edge o accepabiliy
which is oen how our language evolveshere are he ollowing opions. I
you can deermine your readers level o sensiiviy on he he or she issue, do
so, and wrie wih ha in mind.
If the reference will be made only once, you can gracefully (?) sayhe or she or
him or her. oo much o his consrucion, hough, deracs rom your message
as your reader busily sis hrough all he people youre alking abou (and rying
no o oend).
You can make the reference plural, avoiding the problem altogether.
Players can design heir ciy he way hey like.
Insead o
Each player can design his or her ciy he way he or she likes.
An ungraceful alternative that should be used only when you know the mes-
sage will no be read aloud is he/she, his/her, and him/her. Don use s/he. Isugly. In ac, all o hem are ugly.
If you can nd out the sex of the person your pronoun is referring to, do so,
and hen choose he appropriae pronoun.
Some readers of both gender still nd him and he perecly accepable as com-
mon gender. Use hem only i you are cerain you will no oend.
A change that is currently happening is that hey, heirand hem are someimes
used in he singular.
Each person should look a heir manual.
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Te ransiion may ake a while, i i akes a allhe curren syle books now
have conicing inormaion on he subjec. Tereore, unless you wan o risk
your reader(s) hinking you don know your grammar, you should ry o sick wih
radiion unil he accepabiliy o a new syle is widespread. So, subsiue she or
he when he is being used as a common gender pronoun. Change is good.
You can generally avoid gender wars by using more creaive vocabulary or bychanging man operson. For example,
Use Insead o
operaor-hours, sa hours manhours
no one no man
salesperson salesman
synheic manmade
humaniy mankind
mail carrier posmanvenereal scourge man abou own
Summaries
In mos documen insances, avoid ormal summaries (hough some documens,
like whiepapers, employ hem as a sandard). Don sar ou by summarizing
wha you inend o say:
Tis secion will describe human beings in deail. I will discuss he many oibles and
peculiariies o hese beings, including heir penchan or cold pizza in he morning. I
will conclude wih an analysis o he purpose o hese beings writen ou as an epic poem,
in he syle oGilgamesh.
I your srucure is so poor ha i requires a road map, sar over. And excep or
long or complicaed essays, don recapiulae your poins a he end.
A general summary, as a chaper inroducion or overview, however, can be help-
ul, especially in raining maerials and deailed documenaion. Enumeraing
main opics in a bulleed lis is a ready means o convey broad spans o inorma-ion. (In an essay, however, circling back o your iniial heme is oen he bes
means o give he wriing resonance.)
In his secion, well discuss he Google plan o dominae he world. Specically, well
cover:
How Google soware will be found in all breakfast products.
Te secret integration of the word Google into every bill in Congress.
Sergey Brins image found on Mt. Rushmore.
Chapter 6 Pocketful of Usage Tips
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54The Write Word
Use simple, acive senences (I jus won sop hammering, will I?). Te acive
voice is sronger, more direc, and more concise han he passive voice. (How-
ever, here are insances where he use o he passive voice is he proper choice.)
No: A hammer shouldn be used o insall he soware.
Yes: You shouldn use a hammer o insall he soware.
I you have rouble geting sared on a wriing projec, or eel compelled o wrieconvolued legalese, sop. ake a deep breah. Say wha you mean ou loud, or i
your cube comrade or your ca migh be alarmed, say i aloud o yoursel. Ten
wrie i down. Te resul will mos likely be shor, simple senences ha ge your
poin across.
Verb Forms
Don creae verbs rom nouns. No mater how much you migh have admired Al-
exander Haig (remember?) and neo-verbiers like him, is an unorgivable rai.
An acion phrase on a menu may be very descripive, bu resis he urge o urn i
ino a verb. Adding do o he phrase doesn help.
No: You can do a search-and-replace on he documen.
Yes: Use he Search and eplace opion o nd and correc misspelled words.
Wrie or one reader. Keep all reerences o he user in he second person (you)
raher han hird (he or she). Consruc senences so ha people eel in conrol
o he programs, no he oher way around.
No: Te disks shouldn be labeled wih banana peels.No: Users shouldn labels disks wih banana peels.
Yes: You shouldn label disks wih banana peels, silly.
Summing I UpHey, how can anyone sum up language and is merry pursuis? Is a rollicking,
roiling living hing, and no mater how many parenheses you use, youll never
quie corral i. Do he bes you can. So, insead o a summary, Ill end his wih ajoke:
A comma, a period and a semicolon walk ino a bar ...
Oh wai! I can nish he joke; I orge how is puncuaed.
PS By he way, I know ha someone will deligh in nding a ypo or some
mangled consrucion in his doc. Enjoy he vicory!
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Chapter 6 Pocketful of Usage Tips
Tis ebook is complimens oTe Wrie Word, a ull-service wriingand ediing shop, where verbs, nouns, adjecives, adverbs and all heirboon companions are properly shelved, waered and groomed. Id loveo lend a handin ac, boh o hemo make he power o wordswork or your business.
Please visi htp://www.ombenley.com o see our oher producs, ser-vices, speculaions on wriing and oher dark ars. Teres even a novelor sale, i your ases dri oward works ha leave business ineress inhe ofce where hey belong. Or, please drop me a line [email protected].
Te Wrie Word invies you o disseminae his ebook ar and wide, inwhaever dimension youre mos comorable in, erresrial or oher-wise. Please don aler is conens.
Tanks, om Benley
(And may your senencesalways be sirring, noshaking.)
See my sie or oherfee ebooks on ergonomics or wriers and also
how o setle ha pesierous debae, Creaive or Commercial, once and