The Wake, Issue 6, Fall 2013

TurtleKing Longboards p. 4

Superheros of Science p. 6

Q&A: Dan Murphy p. 10-11

vol. 13 | issue 6December 16 - January 21

ProductionProduction Manager Sondra Vine Graphic Designers Sondra Vine, Eric Berry, Kelsey Schwartz, Brittany Long Art Director Sam Lindsay Social Media Manager Kelcie McKenney Web Editor Sam Gordon Web Assistant Brittany Long Staff Writers Nathaniel Kitzman, Ethan Lauer Business Manager Cooper Henckel Distributors Shawna Stennes Nesteen Param

EditorialEditor-in-Chief Alyssa Bluhm

Managing Editor Justin Miller Cities Editor Grace Birnstengel Voices Editor Bruce Ferguson Sound & Vision Editor Sara Glesne Courtney Bade

This IssueCover Artist Lauren Cutshall (Front), Eric Berry (Back)

Photographers

Lauren Cutshall, Shresyasi, Gadgill, Dahsol Lee, Kristen Wangsness Illustrators

Eric Berry, Dan Forke, Sam Lindsay, Brittany Long, Peter Mariutto, Lianna Matt, Peter Whiteman, Jennifer Yelk Contributing Writers

Alyssa Bluhm, Aaron Bolton, Lauren Cutshall, Blair Emerson, Kirsten Erickson, Herbert B. Ferguson-Augustus, Shresyasi, Gadgill, Sara Glesne, Jerod Greenisen, Nader Helmy, Cooper Henckle, Ethan Lauer, Dahsol Lee, Lianna Matt, Luke Michaels, Cora Neisen, Zach Simon, N. D. Theis, Time-Twister, Alex Van Abbema, Kristen Wangsness

13:6

DISCLAIMERthe purpose of the Wake is to provide a forum in which students can voice their opinions. opinions expressed in the magazine are not representative of the publication or university as a whole. to join the conversation email [email protected].

©2013 The Wake Student Magazine. All rights reserved.

Established in 2002, The Wake is a fortnightly independent magazine and registered student organization produced by and for the students of the University of Minnesota.

The Wake Student Magazine 126 Coffman Memorial Union 300 Washington Avenue SE Minneapolis, MN 55455

www.wakemag.org

The Wake was founded byChris Ruen and James DeLong.The Wake is published with support from

Generation Progress/Center for American Progress (online at www.genprogress.org).

Whats Inside?TurtleKind Longboards p. 4 Journalist: An All-American Superhero p. 4

Photo Poll: Superhero Students p. 5

Superheros of Science p. 6

Black Friday Blasphemy p. 7Trouble Over China Seas? p. 7

The Man and the Mentor p. 8The Wake Covers The Wake & The Wake p. 8 Staying Green or Mining Gold p. 9 The New Minnesota Beatles Project p. 9 Q&A: Dan Murphy p. 10-11

3 Reviews p. 12

Can't get enough of The Wake?

Twitter: @the_wake

Facebook: /TheWakeMagazine

Wake-Mag.tumblr.com

BIZZARO

Better Than Fan Art p. 4

Covered by the Affordable Care Act p. 5Knight in Shining Spandex p. 5

Fantastic Four Assassinate Wrong Doom p. 6

Patrick's Guide to World Domination p. 7Eight Arms Are Better Than Two p. 7

Keeping Up With the Times p. 8Superman Joins AARP p. 8

Superhero Tweets p. 9

The Wake Origins p. 10-12

Dear Wakies,

I know that you’re probably reading this for one of two reasons: a) you’re celebrating the end of another (or a first) semester at the U, or b) you’re procrastinating. Either way, I want you to know, it’s totally alright. We’re just glad you found your way to The Wake.

Whether you’re treading in heavy ac-ademic waters right now or awaiting your plane ride home, we’ve got you covered. From reflections on the bor-derline brutal madness of Black Friday to a peak into a sci-fi comic book that could well be our namesake, this is-sue should have something for you in your time of mentally-drained need.

Now that it’s the end of the semes-ter, and of 2013, just remember the importance of taking things in one at a time. While your professors and TAs might be rushing you through the “last sprint” (why the hell was this the first semester I heard that phrase and why did I hear it from almost all my professors?!), we’re certainly not.

Oh yeah, and if you’re not into the whole reality thing right now because it’s too stressful, flip this copy over and drown yourself in some superhe-ro antics and comic-inspired design.

Cheers,

Sara Glesne

Sound & Vision Editor

4. december 16 - january 21

Cities

Giving back more than just a long board Lauren Cutshall

While turtles have always been known for their longevity and

chill attitudes, the same can be said about the local company,

TurtleKing Long Boards. What started as a simple start up by

two University of Minnesota students, Drew Swanson and Phil-

lip Kelly, soon became much more as they began to design and

produce their own long boards.

The company, which is committed to creating a long last-

ing board, adds to the culture of campus life by providing

students with the opportunity

to support a local business

and be more environmentally

conscious. “[Our boards] are

made to be durable and to

last,” said Swanson. “And just

by you riding it and experienc-

ing it, you’re going to be more

healthy.”

Attributing a significant portion

of the business’s success to the

university resources and available opportunities, Swanson said,

“The U has been a really great support network.” As TurtleKing

made its presence known by applying for grants and participat-

ing in contests, they received continuous encouragement from

the university.

Since their start up, the company has grown to incorporate

more than just long boards. Earlier in 2013, TurtleKing ex-

panded to include internships, youth programs, and business

learning opportunities for the Cedar Riverside Community.

Over the summer, business accounting and graphic design

workshops were offered to the community while two student

interns were taken on through the program Step Up Achieve

Minneapolis. The youth program provided several high school

students with the opportunity to design, build, and ride their

own long boards. They went through the creative process,

learned the computer program used to design their own board,

and were able to eventually press and construct their own

boards. Students learned aspects of graphic design in addi-

tion to the skills of using Computer Numeric Control, or CNC

machine. These new skills provided students with an in-demand

technical background they can use professionally.

The future of TurtleKing lies in the expansion of the company.

Swanson hopes to see the business adopt to the non-profit

sector, allowing them to continue youth programs, skills

workshops, and possibly a CNC machine certification program.

As they expand their presence on the U of M campus, TurtleK-

ing wants to make their workshop more of a design space to

foster creativity. “The goal is to create this space where people

can come in, and have ideas and kind of use the long board as a

canvas,” said Swanson.

Ultimately, TurtleKing Long Boards is continuing with the

non-profit plan of providing a business that gives back

more than just a product—but also important lifelong and

professional skills.

By Blair Emerson

Journalist: genius-level intelligence, master of disguise, super detective, skilled in deductive reasoning, enhanced speed and stamina, superhuman strength, agility, and endurance. Okay, so a few of these are made up, but have you ever noticed just how many journalists are depicted in comic books? The list goes on and on from the almighty Superman himself, a foreign affairs reporter, to the web-slinging Peter Parker, a photojournalist who takes some crazy selfies. Even Captain Marvel was a broadcaster for WHIZ Radio and the Green Hornet was a publisher at the Daily Sentinel.

You might ask, why journalists?

Why are such simple storytellers created with alter egos that help save the world? To start, journalists are at the forefront of every story. They sometimes come face-to-face with unspeakable dangers in order to seek truth and report it to the public. They are democracy defenders, armed with the first-right amendment to defend the voiceless. The Society of Professional Journalists (SPJ) states in their mission that

journalists are “dedicated to the perpetuation of a free press as the cornerstone of our nation and our liberty.” Both journal-ists and superheroes work to protect the public from injustices. In the comic books they use superpowers, but in real life, journalists use the power of the pen to fight corruption and wrongdoing. And many Pulitzer Prize-winning journalists will concur; you really can make a difference with your words. While journal-ists can’t actually bench press 5.972 sextillion metric tons or run faster than the speed of light, they are able to make the public heard through their words.

Journalists aren’t actual superheroes—or are they?

What if journalists were accurately portrayed in comics? Would it be interesting? I’ll tell you right now, sitting on this couch with my cats, a laptop, and a Chinese take-out box, I don’t feel much like a superhero. I don’t think I could go

save the universe right now in my PJ’s. But, then again, you don’t need to have superpowers to save the

world. Journalists are superheroes too. They may not all work in a newsroom like the

Daily Planet or wear spandex leotards underneath their clothes, but we all bust our butts to bring

hard-hitting news to the public. In Superman Volume 3, Issue 13, Su-

perman quits his job at the newspa-per in an attempt to reinvent his image

as a blogger. In his passion-filled resigna-tion speech, he sheds light on the true job

of a journalist that could bring any journalist to tears:

“Growing up in Smallville, I believed that journalism was an ideal, as worthy and important as being a cop or fireman—a teacher or a doctor. I was taught to believe you could use words to change the course of rivers—that even the dark-est secrets would fall under the harsh light of the sun. But facts have been replaced by opinions. Information has been replaced by entertainment. Reporters have become stenog-raphers. I can’t be the only one who is sick at the thought of what passes for news today. I am not the only one who believes in the power of the press—the fact that we need to stand up for the truth. For justice. And yeah—I’m not ashamed to say it—the American Way!”

Journalist: An All-American SuperheroWith great power comes great responsibility

TurtleKing Long Boards

LIANNA MATT

LUA

REN

CU

TSH

ALL

www.wakemag.org 5.

CITIES

Major: Astrophysics

Superpower: Ability to run at the speed of light, time travel, and vibrate molecules to walk through matter.

Kid Flash would take over the world by going back in time and taking Hit-ler’s place. Using the knowledge of how history unfolds, Kid Flash would use power and opportunities differ-ently than Hitler to seize power over the whole world and fix it instead of killing people.

Major: Global Studies and Envi-ronmental Studies

Superpower: Flying

Bird B**** does not want to take over the world, she would only use her powers selfishly.

Major: Political Science and History

Superpower: Manipulating time, add-ing hours to the day, etc.

Chronos would take over the world because, as Napoleon Bonaparte once said, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” Chronos would use his superpower of manipulating time to change the course of each day so that no one but he would achieve significant academic success. He would start his own business and similarly ma-nipulate the schedule and time to profit only him. He would acquire incredible wealth, then move on to conquer-ing Wall Street and beyond until he eventually controlled the economy, the education system, politics—everything.

Major: Biology

Superpower: To go back in time to relive events and stay 21 forever.

Felion would not take over the world, she would simply use her powers to go back and do things she missed out on, change situations she regrets, and help others where she did not before.

Major: Chemical Engineering

Superpower: Mind reading

Voltron would take over the world by using secrets gleaned by reading the minds of important people and terrorists.

Major: Studies in Cinema and Media Culture

Superpower: Telekinesis, invis-ibility, and ability to fly on a disc.

Malgenta would not want to take over the world. Instead, she would use her powers to anonymously save people like Batman does.

Major: Pre-Dental School

Superpower: Time travel

The Clock would conquer the world by going forward in time where he be-lieves power will be more centralized.

Major: International Business

Superpower: Flying

Superwoman would conquer the world by impressing everyone with her superpowers so that they elect her president. She would then fly to other nations and assassinate all other presidents.

John Cowle - Kid Flash

Vitor Milagres - voltonmelanie featherstone -

malgenta

david sundaram - The clock

Kaitlin nelsom - bird b****

noah hummel-hall - chronos

Shayna Ho - felion

rebecca shaffer - superwomen

Student SuperherosPhotos By: Shresyasi Gadgill, Kristen Wangsness


Cities

It is without question that science is a driving force in many

comic books. Mad scientists and scientific phenomena are

commonly used to expand upon and drive the plot in many

comic books. After all, where would Tony Stark and his Iron

Man be without Stark’s engineering expertise? Spiderman’s

nemesis, Dr. Octopus, would fail to exist without his back-

ground in nuclear physics.

But how much of the phenomena and personalities presented

are actually accurate? To create a more dynamic story, many

exaggerations of what is scientifically possible are made.

So if the characters in comic books are indeed “carica-

tures” of actual scientists’ personalities, exaggerated for

fictional purposes, what do real scientists look like? What

research do they conduct?

The University of Minnesota is known for its high standings

in research, ranking within the top 25 research universities

in the nation annually and ranking eighth in 2011 in the Na-

tional Science Foundation’s list of Top 20 Public Research

Institutions. These figures should come as no surprise, with

almost 3,000 distinguished faculty members conducting

research on campus.

Unlike the anti-social recluses seen in comic books, the sci-

ence professors here at the U work to integrate undergradu-

ate and graduate students alike into the research process.

Along with teaching, these professors strive to be innovators

with research. So, in some respect, they are superheroes in

their respective fields.

“Science is never the final answer,” Silflow said. “It’s the steps along the way.

Professor Vuk Mandic studies experimental cosmology and

astrophysics. His current topic of research is dark matter,

which he investigates through an experiment called Cryogenic

Dark Matter Search (CDMS). This experiment uses detectors

made out of a crystal of germanium or silicon to measure the

response of when dark matter particles come and hit the crys-

tals. This whole system is isolated as much as possible from

outside radiations that may interfere by being placed in an

underground mine in northern Minnesota, and shielded with

lead and polyethylene to suppress the ambient background.

The discovery of dark matter itself would imply the exis-

tence of physics beyond the standard model we already

know (with electrons and quarks), and questions of how

this new type of particle would fit into our existing knowl-

edge of the standard model would surface.

“Discovery of dark matter would give insight into both

the physics of elementary particles and the formation and

evolution of the universe,” said Mandic. As he studies dark

matter, he aims to understand how the universe changed

over time, and how dark matter interacted with the par-

ticles of the standard model before they split into the halo

forms that are present today.

Meanwhile in St. Paul, plant biologist Carolyn Silflow delves

into the investigation of centrioles—the structures that

assemble cilia and flagella in cells. Silflow uses green algal

cells, as they have not changed and evolved very much over

time, to gather information about the structure and func-

tion of centrioles. Though this research is very basic, Silflow

predicts her research will be applied to understand human

diseases that affect cilia. “Science is never the final answer,”

she said. “it’s the steps along the way.”

From the Department of Neuroscience, Dr. Robert Meisel

is researching aggression using a female animal model. By

testing these behaviors in hamsters and examining them on

neurobiological and molecular levels, Meisel is working to

disprove the claim that males are the only aggressive gender.

“Anyone who’s gone to high school knows that girls can be

aggressive,” Meisel said, laughing. Males and females, whether

they are rats or humans, will both exhibit aggressive behavior,

but in different circumstances. This is due to the differences in

neurobiology in evolutionary processes of the two genders.

Why does this differentiation in gender matter? Meisel

applies his research to not only understanding aggressive be-

havior, but treating it as well. As medication for violent and

aggressive behavior targets only the male neurobiological

mechanisms, other methods of therapy must be established

to assist females with such problems as well.

Ultimately, the questions that are attempted to be

answered here at the University of Minnesota are not

only reflections of current scientific interests, but look to

creating a better future through developments in under-

standing, technology, and medicine.

Note: these professionals do not work alone. Like the mem-

bers of the Fantastic Four work together to save the world,

scientists also work in teams to complement each other’s

strengths and weaknesses. They not only collaborate with

their own department, but with others from the interna-

tional science community. It is this cooperation, combined

with their individual contributions that make these scientists

truly super.

Superheroes of ScienceInsight into UMN Research and its championsBy Dahsol Lee

DAHSOL LEE

www.wakemag.org 7.

Trouble over China Seas? Obama’s “Asian Pivot” and the TPPBy N. D. Theis

These days the University of Minnesota boasts about more

than 3,000 scholars from the “Greater China area” and Presi-

dent Eric Kaler swims in a $110 million bath of their tuition

fees. But while Kaler extends an open hand to China, Obama

offers only a closed fist… and B-52s.

The U.S. is growing more hostile to China on a political level.

Yet as a tender, corn-fed Midwestern college boy, I’ve made

nothing but friends with my Chinese colleagues and room-

mates. Since when are the Chinese or enemies?

Speaking to a group of U.S. corporate executives in China

about an American aircraft doing training exercises in China’s

new no-fly zone late last month, Joe Biden said, “The United

States has a profound stake in what happens [in the Pacific]

because we need—and we are—and will remain a pacific

power diplomatically, economically, and militarily…”

So what does the Obama administration have up its sleeve?

They are going to “pivot to Asia,” in the Obama administration’s

terms. This means focusing more atten-

tion on the Asian Pacific: sending our mili-

tary resources there as we pull out of the Middle

East. The U.S. is currently building new military bases along the

Pacific rim. For instance, one is currently under construction

on the Jeju Island, lying directly south of the Korean peninsula

despite the protests of Jeju’s indigenous people.

Some argue Obama’s Asian Pivot policy is nothing more than

an attempt to “contain” China or improve Sino-American rela-

tions. An expensive and destructive policy nevertheless...

Because militarization may not suffice,

a divisive trade agreement is also be-

ing cooked up in the crack-kitchens

of corporate lawyers: the

Trans-Pacific Partnership. The

TPP breaches civil liberties on

almost every imaginable front. It

would restrict internet freedoms,

eliminate generic drugs and drive

up the prices of pharmaceuti-

cals, and lay down provisions for

international corporate tribunals

under which corporations can sue

countries for potential profit-loss due to

environmental laws.

It’s NAFTA on steroids. The United States is among the 14

signatory or negotiating TPP countries, and China is not.

What is this craziness!? The Chinese are our friends! Instead

of wasting America’s resources on pointless controversies

over world power, why not partner with China? As Ameri-

cans, we have lot more to gain from the Chinese than their

tuition dollars—and a lot more to lose than airspace.

PETER WHITEMAN

VOICESWith this year’s Black Friday events bordering on uncontrol-

lable, something has to be done.

Black Friday is crazier than ever. Just this year, a Walmart

employee was injured during sales, a Black Friday related

shooting occurred in a Kohl’s in Illinois, and a shopper car-

rying a television home was shot in Las Vegas. Stores were

open earlier than ever before (Target opened at 8 p.m., and

many other stores opened on Thanksgiving Day), further

turning Thanksgiving into a consumerist holiday.

With longer store hours than ever, strong violence affecting

stores, and employees and shoppers losing out on family

time, something should be done about Black Friday.

South Park aired a three part miniseries showing rabid shop-

pers having deadly melees at a deal-heavy Black Friday store.

It sends a message in regards to Black Friday violence.

We are becoming more aware of the Black Friday epidemic,

and these episodes exhibit just how absurd it has become. In

a Black Friday environment, brutal competition is inevitable,

as people seem to disregard the humanity of others all in

the sake of getting a good deal. For starters, retailers could

shorten their hours on Black Friday, and allow families to

spend more time with each other on Thanksgiving weekend.

Black Friday Blasphemy According to a recent Huffington Post survey, 63 percent of

people believe that stores should be closed on Thanksgiving.

Also, the earlier hours make it so employers have to go to

work earlier on Thanksgiving to deal with unruly crowds and

miss out on time with their family. Shortened hours mean

less chance of injury, and allow employers to also spend a bit

more time at home before having to head off to work. Sure

it might hurt sales a bit, but it’s well worth it for a store’s

integrity to promote community over consumerism.

Mostly, people should choose to stay home on Thanks-

giving weekend and seek out deals on Cyber Monday.

Websites such as Amazon.com and other retailer websites

like Walmart.com offer many of the same deals that you

see at other stores..

This allows the shopper to enjoy a real holiday weekend

with their family, and end up with some good deals without

being trampled to death. For the sake of shopper and

employee safety, as well as the integrity of Thanksgiving, it

would be nice to see some retailers promote Cyber Monday

sales over Black Friday.

This year a man actually got stabbed in a fight over a Walmart

parking space. Is this our idea of a happy holiday?

Alex Van Abbema


VOICESThe Man and the MentorHerbert B. Ferguson-Augustus

A man was released from Victor Verster Prison in South

Africa on Feb. 2, 1990. The world had changed for South

Africa. The country, in its determination to preserve

the apartheid system, had become a pariah state, faced

a stagnating economy and civil unrest nationwide. The

international community heralded the man, who was con-

sidered a political rogue at the time of his imprisonment,

as a hero and champion of equality. Backed by the world

over and facing a South African government, besieged

on all sides, he could so easily topple the government,

champion Black Nationalism, expel whites, and still walk

away as president.

The strange thing was, after enduring thirty years of incar-

ceration, he chose not to.

However, he was once a different man. He was a college

student, and as the only black African college student on

campus, he was alone. When he first joined the African

National Congress or ANC in 1943, he rejected a racially

united front as a means to take down the apartheid sys-

tem. He supported his mentor, Anton Lambede, when he

banned communism from the ANC. Later, he would force

the resignation C.S. Ramohanoe, an ANC regional presi-

dent for cooperating with Indian and communist political

groups. Following the death of his mentor, however, the

man gained a pragmatism that supplanted his ideology

and led him to embrace communists, Indians, Europeans,

and white South Africans in the struggle against the apart-

heid system.

His pragmatism endured. It withstood the Suppression

of Communism Act in 1952, when he and his colleagues

were arrested and jailed for protesting peacefully. It even

held fast for 30 years during his subsequent incarceration.

So many other African leaders had abandoned that prag-

matism. By the time the man was released from prison,

Robert Mugabe had already secured control of Zimbabwe

after leading a violent uprising. Similarly, Joaquim Chissano,

a FRELIMO general, had achieved the presidency after the

Portuguese had been expelled from Mozambique. The same

occurred in Angola, where Jose Eduardo dos Santos, a fel-

low communist, was now fighting against political rivals for

control of the nation. Namibia achieved independence by the

same means under Sam Nujoma of SWAPO, a political and

military organization. Every other nation in southern Africa,

excluding Botswana, had achieved either racial integration

and/or independence through violent revolution.

However, the ex-convict did not embrace such action. He

stripped his political stance of its racial and communist

undertones during negotiations with South African President

Frederik Willem de Klerk. He would go on to take De Klerk

as his deputy president when he won national elections in

1994. He neither expropriated land as Mugabe and Nujoma

did, nor did he try to squash opposition as Dos Santos had

tried. His policies of national reconciliation were moderate

and arguably unsuccessful in curtailing the disparity between

blacks and whites. Still, he became the father of a nation

because he was a moderate, because he was willing to adapt

to the changing times and put ideology aside.

he resisted the temptation to lash out at the system that had so abused him, to give into partisan politics, and oppress his former oppressors

Nelson Mandela died on Dec. 5, 2013. He was an outsider, his

ideology dictated by a life besieged by oppression and segre-

gation. Did he defeat those forces? Looking at South Africa’s

stagnating economy, skyrocketing crime rate, and income

disparity–one of the highest in the world–many would say no.

However, he resisted the temptation to lash out at the system

that had abused him, to give into partisan politics, and to op-

press his former oppressors. He could have done all this and

won; he chose not to.

His struggle is our struggle.

The Wake Covers the Wake and The Wake: Two comics that share their names with this magazineBy Lianna Matt

Known at the University of Minnesota’s campus as the won-

derful biweekly magazine that it is, The Wake Magazine also

shares its name with two different comic books. Started in

1998, the French comic Sillage has its first issues translated

in English (giving it the title, Wake), but after its tenth issue

in 2007, the more or less yearly issues have stayed in their

original French. As for the other comic, The Wake, it comes

from a much more known publisher: Vertigo, an imprint of

DC Comics.

Scott Snyder and Sean Murphy’s The Wake shouldn’t be as

foreign and exploratory as Sillage (it takes place here on

earth) but apparently all we needed to find the horror of

science fiction was to look to the Arctic Circle’s waters. USA

Today Comics gave its readers a sneak peek of the first issue

a while ago, and even though it ends with marine biologist

Lee Archer meeting the Homeland Security agent–not even

touching on the mysterious thing lurking in the depths–the

informal introduction to her personality and the crisp art

makes the reader want more.

In its first issue of Sillage, the readers meet Nävis, the only

human survivor of a space ship crash. As she meets the an-

tagonist of the issue, Madjestic, who wants to terra-form her

planet, her personality changes from carefree and happy to

angry, determined, and slightly ignorant when she sees the

aliens land. Unfortunately, these are the only two facets of

her personality that the reader sees, creating a lack of char-

acter depth. While the premise of an outsider thrust into a

(literally) alien world makes the reader keep reading, Nävis’s

interactions with the aliens from the Wake do not offer any-

thing new, right down to the ever-convenient guide (in the

form of the watcher) to explain everything to the reader.

However, the comic has the righteous themes that readers

cannot help but like. Nävis, in one of the few times she is

not yelling at Madjestic, delivers a dramatic sermon about

individual, intrinsic value and choice. This was undermined

by the snowball effect that occurred in her audience, but it

was an effort to give Nävis more character. Not seen in this

first installment, the series depicts a society where the mind

controllers control half the population that the reader ex-

plores. Because of these hints to a deeper significance rather

than a shallow, formulaic space adventure, Sillage is worth

reading for at least one more issue.

While the two comics have begun over a decade apart–

The Wake had released its first in May–and have different

stories, they share a motif of discovery. And so does The

Wake Magazine. So after this issue of the magazine, pick up

a comic book and find the curiosity and interest in another

world that school beat out of you during the semester.

www.wakemag.org 9.

Sound & VisionStaying Green or Mining GoldThe Duluth Complex is under stakeBy Jerod Greenisen

The Duluth Complex is a plot of land that stretches about

150 miles from Duluth to Canada. Superior National Forests,

connects to Lake Superior and features thousands of lakes. It

also has a treasure trove of precious metals. Investors from

as far as the Gulf of Mexico and Switzerland are strapping up

for another environmental plunder.

One of the companies making competitive bids for min-

ing rights is GlencoreXstrata, a Swiss company with Tony

Hayward at helm. Hayward commanded British Petroleum

through its big oil spill a few years back and now wants to

test his metal in Minnesota.This area of our state has long

been contested and sought after for its minerals. As far back

as the founding of Minnesota, one could find records of rich

mineral deposits along the shores of Lake Superior. The only

issue with extracting the minerals back then had been objec-

tions from the residents. At this time, Minnesota was the

frontier of westward expansion and the home of many First

Nations tribes with thriving coniferous forests and pristine

waters. However, as soon as industry got a taste for the dirt,

mining was swift and change was drastic.

Today however, the mines and refineries of northeastern

Minnesota have been closed down for almost a generation,

allowing the environment to become a main tourist at-

traction that bolsters the economy. The forests, sea caves,

rivers, lakes, and wildlife pull in visitors from around the

Midwest and showcase the best of the Great Lakes region.

Still, modern technology has the extraction of the region’s

metals possible once again. The area, looking like it did

100 years ago, has become ripe for the pillage. Or so many

environmentalists would like you to think, and many media

organizations would love tell you.

Regardless of whether or not the former BP executive is now

on the board of a company looking at Minnesota, this does not

mean that The Duluth Complex will be the site of the next en-

vironmental catastrophe or even within the grasp of companies

like GlencoreXtrata. This is because Minnesota’s economy has

changed and we have taken many difficult steps to ensure the

best environmental policy in the nation. The area has some of

the richest copper-nickel deposits on the planet. Should it be

decided that mining is the best way to boost to the economy,

The New Minnesota Beatles Project Vol. 5The End of an EraBy Aaron Bolton

The fifth installment of the Minnesota Beatle Project was

released on Dec. 3, marking a strong end to the beloved local

compilation project. The Minnesota Beatle Project has used

the Beatles timeless music and persistent popularity to raise

money for Minnesota music education in high schools across

the state. It also adds a quality Minnesotans love… it’s local! It

has showcased a plethora of bands with Minnesotan roots and

even middle school and high school bands that have benefited

from its proceeds. Still, all good things must come to an end

and only so many bands can rework Beatles tunes.

“I felt that the project has blossomed into maturity from both

a creative and philanthropic standpoint,” executive Director of

the project, Mark Gehring, told MPR’s The Current.

This will be the fifth and final installment. While this project

does a whole lot of good for music here in Minnesota, it has

come to a satisfactory point to end the series for Vega Pro-

ductions. Both Gehring and Vega have set their sights

on expanding the projects charitable reach. With the ending

of the project here in Minnesota, they are developing a

national project with the same idea in mind: introduce

people to good bands and provide the youth with quality

music education. More information on the project will be

released in 2014.

Still that fact is all good things must come to an end and only so many bands can rework Beatles tunes

What does this mean for the local funding this series has giv-

en? The final installment will continue to contribute the vital

support the series has provided for the past four years. While

the new project will only expand its reach, Vega Productions

and presenting sponsor 89.3 The Current have shown their

resourcefulness to combat this lack of funding here and, in

the future, nationally. They have displayed what powerful

music can do when backed by a great community.

The community has been behind the project and made this

unique approach to fill funding gaps for music education

possible. This year’s notable track listing includes Grammy

award winners Okee Dokee Brothers, Carroll who have been

called “Best New Band 2013” by City Pages, Cactus Blos-

soms, and many more. Vega Productions stated that there

will be limited copies of Vol. 5: only 5,000 CDs, and 500 180-

gram vinyl copies. This series has come to the end of its road

but has opened many doors for music students and bands

alike here in Minnesota. People have fallen in love with the

project for its new Beatles covers, the local bands it displays

and the music education support it has provided. This is the

end of one journey but the beginning of a bigger one.

MINNESOTA BEATLE PROJECT FACEBOOK PAGE

get ready to see competitive bids and destruction of the local

fauna and flora. Minnesota could just back away, leaving the area

intact but forsaking the economic boom mining would bring.

It’s not a simple situation. Minnesota has the most to lose,

and the most to gain. But should things stay the same, it

all remains intact and just as beautiful as ever. Minnesotans

need to come to the table to decide.

SAM LINDSAY

10. december 16 - december 29

Q&A

By Sara Glesne

Making art has been second nature to Dan Murphy for most

of his life. He finds inspiration in some unlikely places, such as

catalogues of mug shots, but also in some more common ones,

like regulars at his work and coffee shop strangers.

Right now, Murphy is working on a nightmarish comic called

Elle Cirka that he hopes to eventually publish as a graphic

novel.

In spite of the haunting panels that make up the first chapters

so far of Elle Cirka, Murphy is a pretty upbeat guy who just

seems grateful that he’s able to make art and music most days.

For our comic book issue, The Wake sat down and talked with

him about his comic influences and what advice he has for

aspiring illustrators.

The Wake: When did you get started making art?

Dan: In late elementary school, I just read a lot of Calvin

and Hobbes, The Far Side, Peanuts. I was kind of a shy kid,

so drawing was kind of a way to make friends and to have

something interesting about me to meet people. And it was

something I was good at and people would ask me to draw

things for them. I was kind of known for that. For most of

my grade school and junior high and high school I remember

the art classes more than anything else. Everything else is

kind of faded. And then I went to art school and that was

kind of where I was fully able to be around other people like

me. I think elementary school was where I first got that bug

to do it.

The Wake: Now that you’re out of school, how do you find

inspiration for your art?

Dan: All sorts of places. I work in a used book store and so

I’m surrounded with interesting books. I love books and I

own just tons of them myself. And I also play in a band. I love

music, so that’s another way to keep my mind vivid with

sounds and music and just creative endeavors. I balance be-

tween both music and art. Even just with the world around

me, just enjoying drawing in coffee shops. I love drawing

people, there are just so many different types. So that’s one

big inspiration.

The Wake: So, what projects are you working on right now?

Dan: I’m working on a series of books called Elle Cirka. Right

Q&A with Dan Murphy:From mug shot portraits to comic art

now they’re like two smaller side stories. So I’m just kind of

slowly working on these as I can, getting books out and at

some point I’ll have enough small media ones to make it into

a bigger book. For book publishing they do want to see a

bigger, nice collection of stuff so I’m working up to that.

The Wake: Is it going to be at all autobiographical?

Dan: I’m not sure, but probably not really. I have this image

in my head of two characters living in some old farmhouse in

the middle of the woods. So it’d be kind of strange, maybe a

bit creepy. That’s the vibe I get off the characters. Instinc-

tually my mind kind of always extrapolates a story of the

people I see. Okay, where do they go home to? What’s their

life like? I just create an arc in my head, just based on what I

think their life is like. That’s how I kind of like to write stories

like this. Just piece them together and let them fall into place

eventually. It becomes almost natural.

The Wake: Where did the name come from, Elle Cirka?

Dan: I was trying to find something that described a very

kind of “hell circus” basically because the gist of the story is

about me running away to join the circus as a kid. And I draw

these caricatures there. And the caricature I draw of them is

kind of their ticket to be taken into a big tent which is kind

of like a symbol for hell, or some kind of punishment which

is still a little vague at this point in the story. I remember

looking up various translations for “hell circus” in Google

translate. And that “elle cirka” was maybe a Latvian, or some

eastern European translation of hell circus. And the name

just fit.

I’m passionate about music; I’m passionate about arts. It was very close to my heart so I was able to put my soul into it.

The Wake: How much of the work that you make is influ-

enced by comic books?

Dan: A lot of it. A lot of it is just influenced by some fine art,

some classic illustration from the 19th or the 20th century.

I started reading superhero comics for a while in junior high

and high school. I liked some of the art and certain artists,

but never really the stories so much. And then later into

high school and then in art school, I got more into inde-

pendent and alternative cartoonists like Dan Clowes, Chris

Ware, Robert Crumb, and Julie Doucet. And seeing people

that were more expressive, more creative. They became far

more influential than any of the superhero stuff I remember

reading when I was younger. And a lot of it is using those

influences, but also drawing, you find you create your own

new styles. Like, “Oh, I like how he did this.” Or, “I should use

this again.” And part of it is finding your own language, sty-

listically. You kind of see yourself working that way naturally,

eventually. It doesn’t quite look like anything you’ve done

before. Letting some of the influences go as you create your

own stuff is the way I try to head towards.

The Wake: Can you tell me about Rock Ink Roll?

Dan: It’s every two years that Altered Esthetics does a comic

book-themed show, and this year was a show that was influ-

enced by rock music and music in general. We decided the

format this year would be almost a 12 by 12 like a vinyl, but

that was a bit too expensive. So we pared it down to this size

[holds up the book]. People submitted various stories based

on what they interpreted that theme to be. It was really

open-ended. People definitely used their own relationship

with music as a starting point. Even the opening was really

fun, my band The Double Dollars played that. It was really

just a fun way to involve music.

The Wake: Did Rock Ink Roll make sense for you then be-

cause you’re a musician and an artist?

Dan: It did a lot. I was able to kind of scratch several itches

with that. I know I’m passionate about music; I’m passionate

about arts. It was very close to my heart so I was able to put

my soul into it.

www.wakemag.org 11.

Q&A

The Wake: What do you like or dislike about comic book

style art?

Dan: I like the variety of the styles confined in it. I do get

annoyed with people that sort of ape maybe a fashionable

style or whatever is popular at the moment and don’t really

progress or evolve, or maybe just be too close to another

artist’s style. I see my influences come out a lot in my stuff,

but I always try to be self aware of it. When I see influences

in other peoples’ work that’s maybe a bit too blatant, I kind

of want to see them do the same thing. Just progress, and

move forward and create something interesting. I always

think of creating stuff I would want to buy myself if I just

saw it randomly. I think that’s the ideal. Create stuff that you

would want yourself.

The Wake: Do you see yourself sticking around this art com-

munity?

Dan: Yeah, I like it. I like the Twin Cities, especially Minneap-

olis and Northeast, which has such a strong art community.

There’s so many great museums and music and all sorts of

things to draw from and be around. I think being stuck in the

middle of nowhere would be nice as far as being quiet, but

I think I would get kind of bored and want to be in the city.

Maybe it might change as I get older, but I think as I’m meet-

ing more and more artists I like being here. It does really just

cause you to grow and to push yourself.

The Wake: What advice do you have for aspiring illustrators?

Dan: Just draw a lot. And keep your eyes as wide as possible.

I went to an art school, but I don’t think that’s always neces-

sary. If you’re driven and you keep your mind and eyes open

and just constantly learn more and you’re exposing yourself

to as much as you can, you can really do a lot. It’s really

about how much you push yourself. And meeting other art-

ists is really, really good. When I meet other, younger artists I

encourage them and give them feedback. Being part of that

loop, it just always helps you as an artist, no matter what

genre you’re in. Art school or some direction like that helps

you focus, but I know plenty of artists who didn’t go to art

school and they’re just amazing. It’s really about what’s in

you as a person.

Part of it is finding your own language, stylistically. You kind of see yourself working that way naturally, eventually

The Wake: How did you meet the artists you share studio

space with?

Dan: Just at the monthly cartoonist meet-up here [at

Diamonds Coffee Shoppe] through a friend that I actually

met in junior high, a guy named Daniel. We made our own

comics together throughout junior high and high school.

Once in a while we would just bump into each other after

high school. And he was like, “Oh Dan, you should really go

to this monthly cartoonist conspiracy meet-up here in the

Twin Cities.”

The Wake: It’s called Cartoonist Conspiracy?

Dan: Yeah, the International Cartoonist Conspiracy. And it

was started by a guy named Steven Stwalley. He just kind of

liked getting people together to draw kind of “jam” comics.

One person would draw one panel, another person would

draw the next. It wouldn’t always make sense, but at least

it’s interesting. Some people show up every month. Some

people just kind of come and go as they can make it. I just

went to one last week.

The Wake: When you’re sketching what media do you use?

Dan: All sorts, actually. I have some pen sketches, pen and

ink, some wash. My work is in some watercolors. Just playing

with it. Even if I don’t like the sketch, I’ll sometimes just try

to make the page interesting. Like here, if I don’t like the

page, I’ll just do a portrait over it. This [pointing at a page in

his sketchbook] is actually from a mug shot from Australia

in the 1920s. These beautiful photographs with men in suits

and women in nice clothes. They’re just amazing.

The Wake: Do you find mug shots online?

Dan: Yeah, I just Google them. Sometimes more contempo-

rary ones are fun, but there’s a bunch of great ones from the

sixties in Minneapolis with girls with beehive hair-dos.

The Wake: Since you like drawing people so much, is it a

challenge to do backgrounds for your comics?

Dan: It is, actually. Perspective has always been the bane

of many comic book artists. If it’s wrong it can really be

distracting and I think I somehow kind of solve that with the

backgrounds in these since I can kind of just put one of the

circus tent fabrics in the back and that takes up a lot of space

and sets you in a setting, but I always want to get better at

just drawing buildings. I’m so used to drawing figures that

it’s one thing I recognize as a weakness to work on. It’s very

important and I notice it when it’s off in people’s work. It’s a

continuing battle.

The Wake: Anything else you want to say about your art?

Dan: I don’t know what I would be doing otherwise. It’s the

only thing I’ve ever really known how to do. My parents were

really supportive from early on. I’m so glad I could do it. I get

a rush of energy from creating. I can’t imagine just going

home after work and not doing anything. A lot of it is just for

my own satisfaction and other people enjoying it is really just

a bonus.

At the Autopic festival I was standing there and a guy comes

up and I go into my spiel, telling him what my books are

and he goes, “Oh yeah, I know. I came to the last one and I

bought your books and I’m glad you have a new one! I want

to pick it up.” It was just like, awesome. This guy knows my

stuff. That was great affecting a total stranger like that.

That’s something that makes you want to make more. I’m

doing it for myself, mostly but having other people react to

it really makes it worth it.

See more of his work at: danmurphyart.com


3REVIEWSSound & Vision

Cupid DeluxeBlood Orange is this generation’s Prince

By Ethan Lauer

Devonté Hynes just released his second studio album as Blood Orange, Cupid Deluxe. Until this point, he has remained largely behind the scenes in his musical creations, producing and co-writing Sky Ferreira’s hit “Everything is Embarrassing” as well as working with The Chemical Brothers, Florence and the Machine and a few other side projects.

This album gives a lot of perspective as to where Dev is coming from both musically and personally. The overall sound on this record is reminiscent of Prince, incorporating pop-funk guitar and bass riffs with emotionally charged airy falsetto crooning, and the melding of Dev’s vocal inflexion and the minor-driven chord combi-nations is just as emotional as the lyrical content.

He gives this 80s feel some modern depth, focusing on his current personal issues on the song “Uncle Ace” which involves the struggle of the transgender underground culture in New York. He seems to have two personas in this song, singing in falsetto and using a lower monotone in a section of the song, referring to himself as a girl highlighting the issue of self-identification.

Dev breaks up the otherwise narrowly focused breadth of sound, featuring Queens-based rapper Despot on the song “Clipped On.” Although Despot’s flow is rough and true to the Queens rap scene, it somehow fits into the soft and emotional journey of the album. He continues the rap trend, featuring London MC Skepta on “High Street”, who nostalgically raps about his adolescence. Cupid Deluxe is masterful in this regard, reviving a unique alt-80s feel while simul-

taneously being a truly current and innovative piece of art.

Glen Hansard Teases With New EPA review of Drive All Night

The History of CavesDark film and soundtrack from the Tillman Estate

By Kirsten Erickson

Glen Hansard, the Irish-brogued, ginger-bearded and Oscar-win-ning singer-songwriter doesn’t seem to want to slow down. After releasing Taking Back the Heartland in 2012, he just put out an EP titled Drive All Night. While tweens may mistakenly come across it while looking for One Direction’s Up All Night, Hansard’s fans won’t find any autotune here.

This EP includes four tracks, each of which offer a taste of what Hansard has been able to do so well, as has been seen in his award-winning music from the film Once: folk music with a rubbed-raw soul.

The first track, “Drive All Night,” has the potential to get a little sleepy, what with a saxophone solo and slow drum beat, but Hansard’s gravelly voice and a guest vocal from Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder inject some much needed emotion into what could have otherwise been considered a cheesy-sounding song.

“Pennies in the Fountain,” in contrast, has a bare and bleak feel, with a haunting banjo strumming to such morose lyrics like “We suffered heartache after heartache/ but we wished for nothing else.”

And just when things seem to be getting too folksy, Hansard pulls out the synthesized beats on “Renata” and finishes up with a gospel-inspired, completely a capella vocal on “Step Out of the Shadows.”

In all, the biggest downfall of Drive All Night is that it’s so short. Hansard gives listeners just a taste of his talent before the EP ends. One Direction and their teeny bopper fans should take notice: A little certainly goes a long way.

By Luke Michaels

The History of Caves, out on Sub Pop Records, is Emma Till-man’s directorial debut as well as Josh Tillman’s debut as film score composer.

Josh Tillman, better known as Father John Misty, has been es-teemed for his work with the Fleet Foxes as well as his superb 2012 solo release, Fear Fun. The presence of Father John Misty in the creation of the film is minor, however, as Emma shines as a more-than-capable director. The film is dark and cryptic, focusing on family dynamics and values as it traces a day in the life of widower Evan Snow, a 40-year-old watchmaker, and his three children—Velvet, Cassius, and Azalea.

The dramatic, sweeping handheld camera shots and rainy day vibe create an emotional stupor while the beautiful, secluded Laurel Canyon location seems to parallel the director’s similarly secluded lifestyle.

One cannot ignore Josh Tillman’s brilliant first attempt at com-posing, however. He proves a master of creating heart-grip-ping tension as well as musical tranquility. Haunting tracks like the rainy “Car Chase Theme” and the Phosphorescent-esque harmonies of “Title Theme for Boy Voices” resonate, proving that the soundtrack alone is worth your time.

One hopes that Josh Tillman’s role, while brilliantly executed, doesn’t overshadow the visionary work of Emma Tillman in a film that takes on innocence, family, and what it means to feel alone. The History of Caves is proof that Team Tillman is a

force to be reckoned with.

MUSICPICKINGS.FILES.WORDPRESS.COM

OKAYPLAYER.COM

YOUTUBE.COM

www.wakemag.org 12.

www.wakemag.org 11.

Superhero TweetsBy Alex Van Abbema

Batman: Soooo my Batmobile is currently under repair. Guess I’m gonna have to break out

the Prius #sigh

Hulk: These Black Friday lines are something else…

They’re getting me pretty riled up…

#ohgeez #watchout

Lex Luthor: Anyone know where a guy can

get some cheap kryptonite around here? Lately the prices have been off the charts…

#inflation

Iron Man: Just came across Wonder Woman #bootyhadmelike

#sorrypepper

Captain America: I have no idea what is going on in this day and age. What’s twerking? What’s this

YOLO swag business? #justlookingforadecentsockhop

Captain Underpants: So when am I finally gonna be recognized as an official superhero? Is defeating

Professor Poopypants not enough?

Spiderman: Somebody tried to jack my car today. He looked so cute webbed against that building.

Superman: #thatawkwardmomentwhen you forget to wear your Superman

costume under your shirt… #wardrobemalfunction

Thor: Apparently on Earth restaurants, it’s frowned upon to throw your glass on the floor yelling “another!” #kickedout

#sorrynotsorry

Aquaman: Hey so when’s that superhero Christmas party happening? Never got the

invite! Guys?

www.wakemag.org 9.


By Time-TwisTer

I don’t have a lot

of time so I’ll make

this quick. My name

is Time-Twister and

this is my story…

I was an average

guy: an above-average

student, with a below-

average reputation.

Classic story right?

Wrong.

I am what they call

a “talent” in most

University Federation Guidelines. I can manipu-

late time.

In high school, I used this talent to my ad-

vantage and no one was any the wiser. How

often have you wished you could go back in

time and change that one false answer to

true? Fastforward through A snore-induc-

ing lecture to the quiz at the end? How many

times do you wish you could just stop time

during a test and pull out your textbook?

How about taking all the time you need to fin-

ish an assignment that’s due in an hour? That

was my daily life.

However, with great power comes great de-

pendency. I can hardly get through a class

without a bit of creative rule bending. But this

makes my situation worse and worse. The Uni-

versity Federation knows there are talents out

there like me and they sniff us out and shoot

us on-the-spat. Phasers set to expel.

Keeping Up With The TimesCheating Super Powers

It has been a challenge to remain in obscuri-

ty, to cheat just enough to get by but not to

pay draw attention to myself. The only one who

knows my secret is my roommate, but he got it

easy. His superpower is multitasking, complete-

ly undetectable in our modern age.

But each time I bend time they draw closer. They

try to impose their will on us. They send out

crime alerts, calling our gifts “crimes” but who

wouldn’t use the tools set in front of them?

Does it lack integrity to be born different?

I have come to the conclusion that it must, be-

cause as I am slowly being surrounded on all

sides by the Campus PD in this tiny closet, deep

within the Gopher Way, I must rationalize their

behavior. The clock is ticking.

PETER MARIUTTO

By Cora NeiseN

It was a fateful and dreary November when

the envelope arrived.

Superman flew to the mailbox and saw the

return address - AARP, Washington, D.C.

20049. After seeing that he was officially

a senior citizen, he flew towards his house

and punched a watermelon-sized hole in the

garage door.

Superman was the first to file for retire-

ment among his old superhero clique. He ap-

plied for AARP in 2005, followed closely by

Spiderman’s 2007 application.

Although they struggled at first, many be-

loved superheroes have accepted their re-

tirement by pursuing some surprising hobbies.

Unable to shake his need for intense ac-

tion, Batman has

fallen victim to a

Grand Theft Auto

addiction. Usual-

ly seen playing in

nothing but a Tap

Out bandana, he

says this has been

the most relaxed

he has ever been

while still getting

a great adrenaline

rush every day.

While accepting re-

tirement has been a

challenge, Batman

now goes by Bruce

both day and night,

awaits his AARP benefits, and drives the Bat-

mobile ten miles per hour under the speed

limit.

Meanwhile, Superman has taken up water

colors. He said painting provides a release

for him, similar to the rush he used to get

from flying. Superman has surprised fans

by discovering a fascination with mythical

creatures through his artwork. His favor-

ite subjects to paint are trolls, dragons,

and unicorns.

Saying, “F*%@ hobbies,” Spiderman can usu-

ally be found sleeping in a hammock in his

backyard for days on end, waking only to

snack on Swedish Fish and hotdogs.

Although some former fans worry that he

has taken a turn for the worse, many col-

lege students sympathize with Spiderman,

agreeing that laying in a hammock eating

candy and mystery meat all day sounds quite

appealing some days.

Superman Joins AARPHow our favorite superheroes are handling retirement

JENNIFER YELK

www.wakemag.org 7.

By: Luke MichaeLs

Patrick Cross–or Patty C., as he prefers, be-

cause it “Just sounds more gangster.”

He said he sat alone in his cluttered 8’ by 12’

dorm room during the planning phases. Pat-

rick has been a student at the U for nearly

a decade and continues to pursue a degree in

elementary teaching.

Describing his memories of the day he tried

to take over the world, he recounted a

generic map of the U.S. and pencil drawings

of Mussolini and Stalin are strewn care-

lessly across the ffloor and hang limp from

crooked tacks on his eggshell walls–yes,

he knows that’s against the rules and he

doesn’t care. A red Magic Marker smiley face

marks the day on his discount swimsuit cal-

endar.

Patrick had been plotting this day for years.

Today was the day that he would prove to

the world that he was not just some acne-

ridden teen who spent just a little too much

time locked in his room “updating his blog.”

He planned to create widespread panic and

harness absolute power in the midst of

chaos.

He was currently on hold with the White

House. Any second now, he would issue an

official takeover threat and panic would

spread like jelly on his mom’s signature

PB&J’s. But they didn’t answer. No matter,

they would regret their brutal negligence!

Hundreds of accomplices across the nation

prepared to initiate the detonation of hun-

dreds of radioactive P-Bombs (short for Pat-

rick Bombs). He gathered up his strength and

pressed his big red button (he was a big fan

of cliches). The rockets flew and, because

the plan was formulated circa 2005, hun-

dreds of Radio Shacks were leveled nation-

wide. Luckily, there were no casualties. The

U.S. fell into a very mild panic, eventually

blaming the incident on “The Commies.”

Patrick was crushed. Nobody believed his

story, which he vented about actively on

his blog—he was really into the year 2005,

I guess—for the remainder of his otherwise

uneventful life.

Patrick’s Guide to World DominationOne Man, One Plan, No Tan

By Zach siMon

Saving the world. The ole nine-to-five, 20

credit semesters. Papers late, presentations

due, classes skipped. Those tears won’t mop

themselves. College can be rough, and the

“Spider-Man Diet” may not be for everyone,

but take it to heart, dear reader, because

you too can balance these super challenges

with ordinary planning.

Before you can start saving lives, one has

to prepare. Set an alarm not only to wake up,

but to go to sleep. If you’re thinking about

that all-nighter, remember that you can give

a presentation better half-done and awake

than finished and sleep-standing. Unless you

go all “Hulk Smash” on your alarm clock and

miss class. How do you live with yourself?

Try placing alarms on the floor whilst you

sleep snug as The Human Torch in the top

bunk. You cannot always rely on your Spi-

dey Sense to get you up, but you can catch a

quick super-power nap on the bus.

You’re awake now, but you have to be pre-

sentable. Nobody wants to be saved by some

bedraggled mess that smells like yester-

day’s super-suit. There is about as much time

as it takes the water to get warm to for you

to take your entire shower. Towel: required.

Soap: optional.

Collect your gear quickly, because if you are

not eating a Carnation This Instant Break-

fast, there is not a moment to spare. Start

chugging that scalding coffee because your

monthly workout is waving hello as the bus

screeches goodbye around that corner and

you have to sprint to class.

Oh no! Jameson is breathing down your neck

for the photos you promised him of Spider-

Man last week, and you have a paper due in

two hours! What to do? Try slipping The

Flash a $20, he won’t mind doing a Marvel boy

a solid. The Scarlet Speedster can’t live off

just Ramen, ya know.

Speaking of Ramen, always be thinking about

fast meals. The box combo from Cane’s is

just slowing you down, try an apple and a

few Clif Bars, you’ll save yourself some time

at the gym as well.

Eight Arms are Better than TwoYour Friendly Neighborhood College Student

PETER MARIUTTO

Last week, the Fantastic Four assassinated

rapper MF Doom on-stage at his New York City

concert.

Friday afternoon, the Human Torch, the In-

visible Woman, Mr. Fantastic, and the Thing

patrolled the streets looking for crime as

they often do. When they passed

a music venue in their

search, they heard

groups of people

outside talking about

Doom’s performance.

Upon entering the

building, the team

saw the rapper in his

trademark Dr. Doom-

style mask entrancing

the crowd with micro-

phone in hand. They quickly

sprung into action and took

The Fantastic Four Assassinate the Wrong Doom!Rap crews vow to avenge MF Doom’s death

the stage, publicly executing who

they assumed to be Dr. Doom in front of

hundreds of what they thought to be

hypnotized hip-hop fans.

The Fantastic Four issued a public apolo-

gy in a press conference soon after they

realized the man they had killed was not,

in fact, Dr. Doom. The president offi-

cially pardoned the Fantastic Four,

knowing that any prosecution

would ultimately be a failed

effort. However, the rap com-

munity has not forgiven the

transgression.

In fact, many hip-hop moguls

have used their influence to

round up fans and form vigilan-

te militias to fight back against

the Fantastic Four, taking gang

violence to a whole other level.

The Wu Tang Clan has been one of the more

active crews, training their militia of fans

in the art of Kung Fu. Snoop Dogg has taken

an alternative approach, attempting to

lure the superheroes into a giant hotbox

of marijuana smoke created by his militia.

His goal is to get the Four too stoned to

retaliate when the militia attempts to “pis-

tol whip those suckas.”

More is sure to develop as the rap crews

continue to develop their plans of attack.

There are rumors of a collaborative mas-

ter attack amongst all crews against the

Four orchestrated by Dr. Dre called Op-

eration “Detox,” but nothing has been con-

firmed at this point.

The only certainty we have is that in the

coming days, one of two legendary forces

will be wiped off the face of the Earth: the

Fantastic Four or rap music as we know it.

“Snoop Dogg has taken an alternative approach, attempting to lure the

superheroes into a giant hotbox of marijuana smoke created by his

militia.”

By Ethan LauEr“There are rumors

of a collaborative

master attack

amongst all crews

against the Four

orchestrated by

Dr. Dre called

Operation “Detox,”

but nothing has

been confirmed at

this point.”

6. december 16- january 21

DAN FORKE

www.wakemag.org 5.

By Cooper HenCkel

Amid the many claims levied against the Af-

fordable Care Act, few have been aimed at

the provision that prevents insurance com-

panies from denying coverage of individuals

with pre-existing conditions. An unintended

consequence of this has allowed many mu-

tants, who had previously been denied cov-

erage, to now have access to healthcare

for the first time.

Previously, mutants whose condition was

discovered were unable to file claims. Ac-

cording to one mutant, who wishes to remain

anonymous, after developing mutant powers

she started moonlighting as a superhero and

broke her arm stopping a robbery.

“When I went to the hospital that night, they

told me my insurance would no longer be

accepted,” the anonymous mutant said. Ac-

cording to her and others, physicians were

unable to give even basic care to mutant

patients. Insurance companies claimed the

“mutant precondition” was grounds to deny

coverage. Overnight, mutants with newly de-

veloped abilities lost their health coverage.

“When our son was born, we were forced to

give birth at a private medical facility,” said

Jean Grey, a lead mutants rights activist

and educator at an upstate New York board-

ing school.

“I was fortunate to have the resources I did.

Other mutants, especially those with physi-

cal mutations or from impoverished areas,

are forced to seek back-alley treatments or

go without care,” Grey said. “This was anti-

mutant discrimination at its worst and we

applaud Obama and the ACA’s efforts to end

this gross injustice.”

While Grey’s view that the law’s protection

is critical for improving mutant-human rela-

tions is shared with others in the mutant

community and beyond, some doctors are

concerned about whether hospitals will

be logistically able to handle the influx of

mutant patients. According to a local physi-

cian who offers free basic care to mutants,

“Most hospitals don’t have the facilities to

really help these patients. Some mutants

have non-human physiology and others can

kill physicians without meaning to.” He said

treating mutant patients is a serious chal-

lenge that few doctors are prepared to

handle. “Coverage from insurance companies

still doesn’t guarantee treatment,” he said.

“The fight for healthcare isn’t over, but

we’ve won the first battle and that’s a huge

step,” Grey said. With very little political

backing for the measure, it seems the mu-

tant community still faces barriers between

themselves and affordable medicine.

Covered by the Affordable Care Act Helpful for Mutants?

By nader Helmy

My arms are far too strong for this. My

brain far too complex. My stature far too

great. My confidence? Far too low.

You know, when I first decided to take up

this whole “being a superhero” thing, I never

thought this would be the part of the gig. No

one tells you this stuff. It’s not in the manual.

Did you know that three out of every four

superheroes are emotionally vulnerable?

The fourth is The Thing. That dude’s a rock.

Okay, I’ll come out with it. I’ve been seeing

this girl. And by “me,” I mean, regular me -

without the costume. We’ve been together

for months now and she’s been so great. The

kind of person you can never see yourself

not being friends with. Completely and to-

tally mine. Until recently. She’s been colder,

more distant. I can tell that what I think

and what I feel matters to her less. That’s

how you can always tell. We talk less and I

can feel her slipping away. I had my worst

fears confirmed when she broke the news

to me last week. She says she loves an-

other man.

I’ve seen her around town putting up

posters and holding signs, screaming em-

phatically about the man in the costume,

but I just assumed it was a harmless fan-

cy. She always did linger a little too long

with her eyes glued to the news about

the caped crusader’s latest escapade.

The other man is me. Me, the superhero.

She’s breaking up with me for me. She ac-

tually said the phrase, “It’s not you, it’s

me.” Brutal. Almost hilarious, but I don’t

think enough time has passed yet. Yep,

she’s in love with a superhero. I guess

you always love the idea of what you

don’t have.

I don’t think I’ll ever love again. I know,

everyone says that. But hear me out. I

took up this persona, this costume, and

I hid behind the mask because I had a

feeling I could do something better for the

world. Something more. But what if that guy,

the guy who fights crime (or the idea of him),

is better than I could ever be on my own?

It’s lonely behind a mask. The anonymity has

made me reclusive, self-centered, and most of

all, incredibly alone. But I’ve started think-

ing that maybe I can start living through

the hero in me. Maybe I can make her love

me again. We all have heroic qualities, mine

are just a little more… obvious. Maybe I can

make the public’s illusions, her illusions, a

reality. Dishonest? Perhaps a little. That’s a

leap of faith I’m not used to.

Knight in Shining SpandexA brief how-to guide on literally

masking your emotions

Overnight, mutants with newly developed abilities lost their

health coverage


By Lianna Matt

The mutant sewer rat attack left a slimy,

grungy, and slightly-rabid toll on Kahnta

City. The giant rodent’s path of destruction

was felt by the Hales Art Museum (HAM). Af-

ter the rat’s severed arm fell through the

roof of HAM, the fight ended.

Shards of pottery and ripped paintings have

been shuttled to the city’s art restoration

department. With countless artifacts lost,

repairing damage to HAM is just one item

on the long list of restorations in Kahnta

City’s future.

Despite the unfortunate circumstances, HAM

will soon host a unique exhibit. The heroes

who defeated the menace have stayed to give

more of their time to the city.

Geoffrey Hale, HAM’s museum owner, an-

nounced an upcoming exhibition of Justice

League self portraits to raise money for

Kahnta City’s citizens.

At the museum’s workroom, Superman, un-

doubtedly the most powerful man in the

world, demonstrated his strength by pul-

verizing rock after rock into a rubble pile

that is supposed to be... something. When

asked, Superman explained, “My art is the

process of creating greatness out of some-

thing that people perceive as trash. It is a

metaphor for all those who felt misunder-

stood to show that they can become some-

one that they feel happy with.” Who knew

Superman was so deep?

Fed up with Superman’s egocentrism, Won-

derwoman blew open his lie. Glancing up

from her oil painting, she said, “You should

have come here fifteen minutes earlier. He

was throwing rock after rock at it mutter-

ing, ‘why he could stop an alien attack but

couldn’t make his dang rock head stick to

his dang rock body.’”

According to Wonderman, Superman plans to

paint himself white on opening day and pose

as his statue while Flash makes finishing

touches on the real exhibit.

Overhearing her, Superman joked, “I try to

fly. I try to fly, but you pull me down with

your lasso.” Flash, apparently, being the

good-hearted, go-to guy he is would make

Superman’s statue now, but he is preoccupied

with his own self portrait.

Watching colorful thread after thread

stretch across the glass surface of

Flash’s wall, the most anyone could catch

of the artist was a dash of red ricocheting

from side to side. The methodical sweep of

his canvas was mesmerizing as line by line, a

thread mural of him sprinting through the

cosmos started to appear.

Compared to the motion of the Flash, the

slow, deliberate movements of Batman made

it hard to believe that the two work as a

cohesive team. Shut away in a dark room, the

Batman lifted print after print of himself

out of the liquid. Some half blurry and some

in sharp focus, the film had close ups and

candid shots of him patrolling the city.

Better Than Fan Art: Superhero portraits on display to aid cityLIANNA MATT

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BRITTANY LONG

MIGHTY FLAKES

A Breakfast that will keep you going, and going, and going, and going, and going...

BRITTANY LONG

Clark Kent here. Some of you may be familiar with my writing in The Daily Planet, but today I am honored to be guest editing this issue of The Wake Magazine, a publication that excels at reporting on injustices in the community, as well as moments of pride and heroism.

Now, some of you may be aware of my alter-ego, Superman. Although I believe strongly in my work as a superhero, I sometime believe journalism is an equally strong way to bring light to injustices in the world. In this issue of this honor-able magazine, I am confident that

you readers will understand the good that journalism can bring to the world despite the oftentimes negative public responses to American media.

With articles that uncover the truth about students who use their powers to deceitfully and unfairly cheat on exami-nations or the potential implications of covering mutants under the Affordable Care Act, and others like The Spider-Man Diet, to help you manage your social, educational, and world-saving lives, I feel that this issue proves the beneficial nature of journalistic work.

In my mind, the writers in this issue are true superheroes, and I challenge you to do good for this student body, and this world--be it through activism, studying, or writing. As I have said be-fore, until my dream of a world where dignity, honor and justice becomes the reality we all share -- I'll never stop fighting, and I hope you won’t either.

Clark Kent (a.k.a Superman)

Guest Editor

The Wake, Issue 6, Fall 2013

Documents

Transcript of The Wake, Issue 6, Fall 2013