THE VIEW FROM THE OUTSIDE

As I reach over to turn my alarm off I remind myself that things could be worse. I could be getting up at a quarter to six instead of six thirty for my morning run. Then rush around like a mad thing when I return getting myself and the kids ready for work and school. By then my stress levels will be through the roof negating all benefits I may have received from my run. I’ll then sit in front of a computer screen for most of the day, pausing momentarily to gather items from the printer, get a coffee, engage in mindless chitchat for the sake of being sociable and eat sporadically as I haven’t the time for a proper meal. When I get home after fighting the mindless hordes on to the train, or sitting amongst them in stop-start traffic, my day will really start as I manically catch up on everything at home. My husband and I will pass each other somewhere amongst all of this and wonder what we used to do with all of our time.

With the curse (or blessing) of being unemployed and having school age children I’m reminding myself of what I did with that time. Running those extra couple of kilometres in complete silence as all the early morning boot campers have gone. Showering and spending 25 minutes drying my hair to perfection. Reading those long articles in the papers and magazines that I never had time for. Making and spending time eating lunch – in fact rediscovering lunch altogether. Enjoying housework and the immense satisfaction of seeing your bathroom in all its former glory. Delighting in the fact that your clothes are starting to hang on you. Jumping on the scales for the first time since pregnancy and discovering somehow that you’ve lost 5 kilograms.

Creating – not just cooking but putting together a culinary feast. Going the extra mile and making the warm chocolate sauce that goes with the decadent dessert cake.

Growing – not just gardening but creating a colourful living addition to your yard that Monet would be proud of.

Saying more than just hello to the neighbours or waving at them as you speed to your next destination. Taking the time to host Christmas in July with them; a 7kg turkey, traditional pudding, egg nog and glazed ham. Oh what a night! Discovering the little gems that lay hidden in weekend markets. Who ever knew you could find such good quality, stylish and cheap clothing at very low prices. Joining those groups you always wanted to but never had the time for. Finding they are full of people younger or older than you because most people your own age are too busy to join.

Most of all you move from what has been a rather superficial existence with many things crammed in to an ever shrinking day, to a deeper one. Where fashion becomes style, travel becomes experience and friends become family. Where everything you do touches your soul, grows your heart and really opens your eyes.

A quick chat with a friend over coffee becomes a deep and meaningful over two. You cast your eyes around and wonder why so many people are out having coffee on a Thursday morning. Are they students? Retirees? Perhaps they’re part timers. Or maybe they’re out of work too. Then you overhear the guy at the table next to you wondering the same thing. You can’t help but lean over and say that you’re unemployed, he is too. The conversation that ensues examines the circumstances in which we now find ourselves. A little while later I get up to leave. He looks over. “Hey, if you’re here again this time next week, let’s start a company.” Sure, you say, and smile, content in the fact that you are not alone.

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Because there are times when you feel you are. This is the downside to being unemployed. And I’m lucky because my husband has a job, at least for the next 6 months. God knows how truly awful and desperate it must be for those who are unable to support their family. Theirs is a pain and worry that runs so deep it gouges a hole in their soul. The scars are permanent; never forgotten and never hidden. A burden so great they walk with stooped shoulders never daring to look anyone else in the face let alone the eye. All you need to do is work hard. Not true. The simple fact is you need money to make money. Capital breeds capital. Just ask Thomas Picketty, the rock star French economist, whose recent 577 pages on capital in the twenty-first century dissects its accumulation and distribution with a fine toothed comb to find that ‘capital reproduces itself faster than output increases. The past devours the future.’ Aside from capital people also need support from family, friends, the community and government to nurture their talent. And we need luck.

No one person can realise their true potential if cultural prejudices and institutional biases exist. It’s up to society to ‘right’ these wrongs. Some examples throughout history include the abolition of slavery and apartheid, awarding women the right to vote and granting Native Title to indigenous Australians. Without brave people like Abraham Lincoln and Nelson Mandela scores of people would not be where they are today and society would be the poorer for it.

One could say that right now we stand at another of these moral cross roads. Where the gap between the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots’ could grow exponentially; where the middle class becomes all but obsolete. Picketty says the problem is enormous and there is no simple solution. In the past, two world wars wiped away a lot of capital significantly reducing the inequality gap; equalising us all to survivalists. Is it possible the new war on terror could do the same thing? Or will it be the catastrophic impacts of climate change as exemplified through extreme storms, flooding and drought?

I don’t have the answer but I do know that I’ve made a job out of finding a job. At first I started applying for jobs advertised on Seek. However, I learnt quickly that many people from all over the world are doing this. It’s so easy. Just click a button and upload your resume. So quick in fact that someone worked out that to meet the Federal Government’s target of applying for 40 jobs a month, it would only take nine minutes on Seek. The sheer volumes of applications have led to the use of machines to scan resumes for key words; that’s right a machine now decides your fate.

If you get past the machine then comes the ultimate test; the interview. These are always difficult because the numbers are never in your favour. There’s always more than one person interrogating you. Of course it’s going to be hard; particularly for introverts who are only just warming up when the interview is finishing. I recall one interview that felt like the interview on ‘speed; 30 minutes with 10 questions. It felt like I was in front of a firing squad.

Why is it that we think greater productivity comes from doing things faster? It may just mean we never stop and ask the right question before we plough in and implement the wrong answer. This never seemed true enough until I commenced an MBA. The guy who sat in class and jiggled his leg the whole week pretty much summed it up as the degree on steroids. As an introvert it really wasn’t for me and so ended my MBA before it really even started.

Maybe if I’d have stuck it out I wouldn’t be where I am now; thinking of all manner of ways to get a job. Eventually after a few failed interviews and long, cold silences

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following the submission of job applications I decided to try and ‘pick up’ a job. I got dressed up and headed to an inner city bar right in the midst of ‘office city’ at about 5.30pm hoping to get a job by showing a bit of leg. Unfortunately either I chose the wrong bar or the wrong night because all I got was an earful from a guy complaining about his spoilt daughter who says she’s underprivileged yet grew up in a lovely home and had a private school education.

Now here I am ten months later writing essays hoping someone might notice a little talent and offer me some work. As a technophobe I’m also embracing the internet setting up a blog and website for my self-published book. I’ve had a crack at helping the Labor party, writing a paper on its future but thinking now that a bunch of us should just start our own party. I’ve volunteered at my kids’ school, baked a lot of cakes, read a lot of books, done lots of thinking, cleaned and cleaned, and tried very hard to prove the worthiness of my existence. Yes I’ve felt incredibly isolated and worthless but I’ve also discovered another side to life. A side where I no longer say I’m unemployed, or ‘just between jobs’ but where I say I’m a Mum, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, neighbour, friend and citizen. I am my relationships.

So as I stand in silence at the top of Kings Park at 7.30am, I look down on all those cars stuck in peak hour traffic and think how lucky I am.

This is the view from the outside.

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