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THURSDAY | OCTOBER 6, 2011NW M ISSOURIANTHE VIBE A7

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Carolyn Kozol stares down at a photo of her, her mother Teri and her sister Katie in front of all of her Ta-Ta Troopers. Carolyns mother died of breast cancer when Carolyn was still in high school. Ap-proximately 40,000 people die each year due to breast cancer according to the CDC. Carolyn and her family raise money and participate in the Susan G. Komen walk for the cure.

TREY WILLIAMS

Editor-in-Chief

The color pink, representing breast cancer awareness, is spread throughout her room. Pictures o the mother she lost in rames marked with love line the desk where she does her schoolwork. Shirtsdonned with pink, sporting messages o breast cancer awareness, are neatly oldedin her drawers.

Her name is Carolyn Kozol and she is amember o the Tata Troopers, a group com-prised o her and her two sisters who, every year, spend three days walking 60 miles, allin the name o breast cancer.

Her support o breast cancer and desireto raise awareness is undeniable. However,her eelings concerning the disease that kills about 40,000 people yearly accord-ing to the CDC, did not come about untilher mother, Teri, was diagnosed Carolyns

reshman year o high school and died two years later.

I think about it constantly, I mean, itshard not having her here or little things inour lives, she said. Sometimes I wish Icould pick up the phone and call my momlike other people get to do, but I cant.

I constantly keep pictures in my roomand pictures on my computer o her, not that Ill orget who she was, but just the memo-ries that are in the pictures help remind meo who she was.

A parent passing away is hard, but orCarolyn its been, a long hard road, but itsbeen a sweet road too.

She said shes learned so much rom the whole experience. She said she has oundstrength in hersel that she never knew she

had. She said it has brought her amily clos-er together.

It sucks not having my mom here, but I cant change that and I only think that thishappened to make me stronger, Carolynsaid.

Strength is not a trait Carolyn alwaysthought she had, but seeing her mom gothrough and endure what she had and the way she did gave the now 21-year-old Car-olyn a new view on li e.

Looking back on the situation that changed her amily dynamics, Carolyn hascommitted to memory and recalls the ap-proximately two years worth o events as i it were just last week.

It was hard, my mom started gettingsick in October 2004, she said. I remem-ber it like crazy.

She sits on the couch, remembering theconcert at which she had trouble breathinggoing up and down the stairs. They thought it was simply a case o upper respiratory is-sues.

She was sick or quite a while be oreshe actually went in to fgure out what was wrong with her, Carolyn said. She actually got diagnosed right a ter Christmas that year and it had spread to the lungs and the

brain and it was already in stage our, so it was hard in that way.The doctors were hope ul or her situ-

ation and they thought that she could beat it and all, but stage our is pretty hard to beat.

Though the battle or her mothers li emay have changed her or the better, it wasnot an easy battle to fght.

I elt like, Why did I have to lose my mom when there are so many other badthings happening out there? I elt like peo-

ple didnt care about their parents so why did I have to lose my mom? I elt it was un-

air. I elt like it wasnt right.Through all the hard times Carolyn

and her amily aced during her moms di-agnoses, her treatment and her death, thememories that make Carolyn smile are theones that show her true eelings toward hermother.

It was always said growing up, my mom was my number one an, Carolynsaid with a slight smile. No matter what,at so tball games she would be sitting in thestands. I played center feld and I could hearher all the way out in center feld.

Even when she was sick, she wouldmake it to 90 percent o my games.

Carolyns mother was one o approxi-mately 40,000 people to die o breast cancerthat year. Four people were le t directly a -

ected that day, Carolyn, her two sisters andtheir ather.

Now, every year, the Tata Troopers walk60 miles or three days with 900 ellow walkers dedicated to the cause that is fnd-ing a cure.

They walk or a cure, they walk to sup-port others who have lost loved ones andthey walk to remember the spirits o those

whom they have lost.I think every cancer story is di erent,but my mom did have a very aggressivekind o cancer, Carolyn said, But whenshe ound out, her spirit didnt change, it wasnt like, Oh, I have cancer, Im gonna bedepressed.

Her thought was, I have cancer, Imgonna beat this. Im gonna get through this,I have three kids, I have a husband and Ihave a reason to live.

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION LORI FRANKENFIELD | NW MISSOURIANDESIGN | WENDY WHELAN