The Sovereign Mind

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    THE SOVEREIGN MIND

    Chapter 1

    The girl Maxine had been my destruction.

    As she approached me, I swallowed the stone-cold

    tang of fear in my mouth and hoped she would now become

    my saviour.

    What do you want? she asked abruptly while keeping

    those wide brown eyes I knew so well locked onto my own.

    For eighteen years I imagined what our first meeting

    would be like. In each variation she cried tears of joy

    and embraced me like a father; reality, it seemed, did

    not share my sentiment.

    There was little time to dwell on my disappointment.

    It was dark and we were vulnerable out here in the open

    suburban streets. It would have been so easy to Project

    my emotional energy, to take control of her mind and

    compel her to follow me where it would be safer, although

    I dared not break Second Law: Never violate free will

    outside the Assemblies.

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    So I elected to Perceive her emotions only. I

    sensed fear and anger within her; something had gone

    wrong at the party.

    I want to go home, Max. Lets go, okay? her

    friend Julie pleaded desperately at her side.

    Julie had a beautiful mind. She was smart and

    methodical for her kind, but most importantly she was a

    loyal friend to Maxine, her only friend.

    Can I be of any assistance? I offered stepping

    aside from their car.

    Weve had enough assistance tonight, thankyou,

    whoever you are-

    You can call me Jacob.

    Sure. Julie, get in, Ill drive.

    They walked passed me and I noticed red blotches

    spattered across their evening dresses. Did they hurt

    you, Maxine? I said with more urgency than I intended.

    Her eyes narrowed as Julie closed the passenger side

    door, What does it matter to you and how do you know my

    name?

    At least I had her attention now.

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    Everything that regards you matters to me

    actually, I said. How I know your name is a rather

    long story, one I would like to share, but first tell me

    what happened in there? I asked pointing to her dress.

    She studied me intently for a moment and I wondered

    how I looked through her eyes. Did she only see the

    dishevelled man wrapped in a worn brown leather coat with

    mismatched boots, or what truly lay beneath the facade?

    She slapped the corner of her dress and smiled

    without joy in the expression, This is what happens when

    raw barbeque meat is thrown at you for entertainment.

    My heart ached for her. It was beyond my

    calculations to understand how the pair ranked so low on

    the social order of their learning institution. I had

    been pleased to learn they were invited to this end of

    year celebration, fond memories of high school would lend

    her support in the difficult times ahead. I fought the

    urge to reach out and provide comfort; I was still a

    stranger to her.

    Yeah, High School sucked, she said but its

    finally over. Now, how do you know my name?

    Loud music resonated in repetitive patterns as the

    party continued in the house behind me. I looked along

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    the rows of parked cars and tried to estimate the time we

    had left. Subtlety no longer served our cause.

    I have come to help you, Maxine, I said.

    She chuckled at first and then began to laugh

    hysterically, Oh that one just capped off a perfect

    evening.

    Despite my devotion to her, the threat of discovery

    frayed my patience. So youre not interested in

    learning why you are so different? I said.

    Her laughter stopped and I Perceived her emotion of

    panic which blew over me like a cool breeze.

    Yes, Maxine, I mean different in exactlythe way

    you are thinking.

    I dont know what youre talk-

    Yes, you do, I interrupted, it is okay, Im here

    to help you.

    She seemed to relax and I thought we were about to

    make our first real connection in person when the car

    horn blared to shatter the moment.

    Cmon Max! Julies muffled voice came from within

    the car.

    Maxine turned, Ive got to go, she said.

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    But wait-

    No, I cant handle this right now.

    There was logic in her reaction, yet I was

    disappointed at her eagerness to escape. However, such

    things could not be forced, no matter the urgency.

    Wait, listen to me, I pleaded.

    She opened the driver side door and gave me a hollow

    stare.

    When you are ready for the truth, look within

    yourself and think of me I will come.

    Having never known her own kind, I was unsure if she

    truly understood my words. She paused for a moment, then

    stepped into the car and drove away.

    After waiting almost two decades to meet in person,

    the encounter went nothing like I had calculated.

    It was 4:14 am and my scheduled watch at Maxines

    house would soon end. I was perched on the limb of a

    tall eucalypt tree at the opposite side of the street,

    unmoving, silent and invisible in the darkness.

    The house was mid-Victorian. I estimated the year

    of construction to be 1870s from the gabled roof and

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    English bond brickwork. The corner allotment was filled

    with dense plantings of roses, climbing clematis,

    lavender and hellebores; I could almost taste their

    strong fragrance in the warm night air.

    My right thigh cramped from being immobile for so

    long. I did not permit my body movement, other than to

    tense and relax the muscle, until the discomfort passed.

    It was then I saw the shadow.

    It marched with mechanical rhythm along the concrete

    footpath and continued past the house. I held my breath

    as the figure stopped abruptly beneath the corner

    streetlight; a man dressed in grey suit. He raised his

    head as though smelling the air, but I knew it was

    Maxines intense emotional signature he had Perceived.

    He turned and I saw his face. Part of me wanted to

    leap down from my hiding place, to embrace the man I had

    once thought of as a brother. It had been eighteen years

    since I had seen Pascal Dupont. Then the gravity of why

    he was here descended and so I stayed silent and waited.

    I fed the variables of the situation into a Mind

    Calculation; my mental engine engaged and processed the

    most likely outcomes within moments. Only one result was

    certain the Mens Mentis had finally discovered Maxines

    location and tonight her life would change forever.

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    Pascals head twitched in the Mens Mentis

    idiosyncrasy to Mind Calculation. I prayed the result

    would not leas him to the house. I drew dark glasses

    from my coat pocket and pressed them firmly over my eyes.

    Pascal stepped toward the house and so I made my move.

    I exhaled slowly and focused within myself until I

    reached my emotion stem, the pure centre of energy that

    was at the core of my being. Its emerald radiance was

    brilliant within my minds eye and I felt a familiar

    static-like crackle course through my hair at being in

    its presence.

    My vision changed as I drew on its power. It was as

    though I looked through a green stain-glass window where

    everything I could see was defined by the various shades

    of that single colour. As I Projected this emotional

    energy outward, green light emanated from my eyes.

    Without sunglasses to contain the radiance, my position

    would have easily been given away in the darkness.

    Where are you going? I spoke silently within

    Pascals mind.

    He shot an intense stare in my direction and then

    jumped back into the shadows.

    Come to me, come closer, I laced my words with a

    mild compulsion I had always been the stronger mind.

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    A pair of green eyes pulsed in response through the

    dark, Are you here on orders? State your position and

    rank.

    Come to me, come closer.

    With gentle calls I continued to lure him in. As he

    reached the foot of the tree, I gently lowered myself to

    the ground. I relaxed my Mental Shield, only for a

    moment, to allow him to sense my presence.

    Pascal immediately turned and looked me up and down,

    Jacob?

    Pascal Dupont, it has been a long time, I replied

    vocally.

    Why, I didnt recognise you in that drab.

    His Mental Shield may have kept his thoughts and

    emotions from me, but his physical expression had shown

    an instant of fear.

    I removed my glasses, Many things have changed.

    He looked into my eyes with a sharp edge that had

    never been there before, You are still greatly missed,

    my friend.

    I scoffed at his words. Is that why I am branded a

    traitor and to be apprehended on sight?

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    Pascal spread his hands, The most powerful Mens

    Mentis leader turns against his own kind, are you so

    surprised? Perhaps its I who misses you the most, there

    are no more worthy opponents to play Riscus with.

    Despite the danger of the situation, I could not

    help but chuckle. The three dimensional game of

    elimination was a favourite past time of the Mens Mentis

    and a healthy rivalry had developed between us over the

    years. Pascals presence brought memories of a life I

    had thought long gone.

    His eyes softened, The void you left has been hard

    to fill.

    Yet filled quickly, I said as my emotions

    darkened, I hear Selwyn has become Chief Executive

    Officer.

    His head tilted with another calculation, I see you

    are still well connected for an exiled man. Yes, The

    Board promoted him when you left. He was shattered when

    you left. He still loves you, you know.

    I felt a slight pang of regret for my former lover

    but then corrected that thought immediately, Selwyn

    loves only one thing, power. He wanted my mantle for

    years.

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    I was once proud of my achievements as Mens Mentis

    CEO, yet now those thoughts only caused me to feel guilt

    and shame. Pascal, I did things, terrible things.

    He responded with the old Mens Mentis adage, A

    great mind must make even greater sacrifices.

    It should never have been at the expense of the

    other Assemblies. Now they are broken, divided, and all

    by my hand. We are not meant to exist this way.

    He gave me a sidelong look, Was it the Vargusthat

    changed you so much?

    The Vargus. An undeniable force experienced by all

    who join the Assemblies it was my destiny to be the

    only one of my kind to experience it twice. The first

    brought me to the Mens Mentis in my youth; the second

    brought me to Maxine when she was born.

    I pointed an accusing finger at Pascal, I could

    never let the prize be used as the Mens Mentis wanted.

    Pascal lost composure, And so you turned traitor to

    have this power for yourself!

    I shook my head, both at the lie and at how closed-

    minded my Assembly had become. There was silence between

    us now and I knew his Mind Calculations were cycling at a

    rapid rate.

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    Its here, isnt it? he said.

    I did not answer. I had spent too long keeping her

    hidden to admit it so freely, even when it was obvious.

    Listen to your emotions, Pascal pleaded, it will

    be ours in the end. Nothing you or your little band of

    believers does will change this. It is inevitable.

    Nothing in this life is certain, my friend.

    We both calculated the next outcome with perfect

    precision. Pascal would have no choice but to report on

    what he had found here and I could never permit that to

    happen.

    So I killed him.

    I killed a man I had known for most of my life,

    shared meals, laughed and travelled the world with, a man

    who was my closest friend and in one green Projection of

    my emotions, I broke his Mental Shield to reached inside

    his mind and destroy him completely.

    I watched his still form sprawled on the ground. I

    did not allow myself to weep or grieve, not when the

    danger was still so close, so I locked these emotions

    away in a corner of my mind and dragged his body beneath

    a nearby cypress hedge. I would get help to dispose of

    the body once my watch was over.

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    As I returned to my viewpoint, the Vargus pulled at

    me once more. This time its power overwhelmed my

    emotions unlike anything I had experienced before.

    Maxine was calling to me.

    You came, she said slightly startled as I stepped

    through the rose covered archway. She sat at a circular

    wrought iron table in the small courtyard of the house.

    I told you I would, I replied.

    I guess I didnt know if it would work. I dont

    ... looking inside scares me.

    The unknown can seem scary. May I sit?

    She pulled out the chair beside her.

    I sat and resisted the urge to tell her how long I

    had waited for this moment, how I had protected her from

    countless dangers throughout the years and how close she

    had just come to being discovered. Yet she had called me

    this time and so I waited for her to speak, to allow a

    natural course of conversation.

    Whats wrong with me? she said her voice sounding

    very small.

    Her question baffled me, Wrong with you?

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    With me, with me inside, I want to know! she cried

    pulling at the neck of her nightdress. I hate feeling

    other peoples emotions. I shouldnt know these things,

    it makes me feel so unclean. Her hands trembled

    uncontrollably, I knew there would be trouble at the

    party tonight; I sensed it when they invited us. I tried

    to convince Julie not to go, but she wanted to be

    accepted so badly. She couldnt have handled whatever

    they planned alone, so I went along with her anyway.

    I was impressed at the strength in her ability to

    Perceive emotion. You have never spoken of this, not

    even to your parents or Julie?

    She looked down and shook her head. I learned very

    quickly not to share this part of myself. People can be

    cruel when youre different. Its so hard to make

    friends and the few I have I want to keep.

    I lifted her chin and smoothed a stray lock of brown

    hair behind her ear. You are different, but there is

    nothing wrong with you child. I am here to help you

    now.

    She took a deep breath to steady herself, How could

    you possibly know my secret?

    Maxine would struggle with the whole truth, so I

    chose my words carefully. Like you, I can sense

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    emotions in others, that is how I knew your secret. I

    had help to understand what was inside me, now I offer

    the same to you. I can show you how to control what

    emotions you absorb and perhaps a few other things as

    well. Would that interest you?

    I held my breath as she thought on my offer.

    This ability isnt something wonderful or magical,

    its unnatural and terrifying and I cant keep going like

    this, she said. Ill do anything if you can make it go

    away.

    I was crushed she hated such a beautiful part of

    herself, Good, it is done then.

    How do I start?

    By showing me more respect than earlier this

    evening, Maxine.

    Oh, sorry about that, she said with a sheepish

    grin. You can call me Max, if you like.

    Max, I tried the name on like an exotic garment,

    we will begin tomorrow.

    Magpies began to warble in anticipation of the new

    day that was fast approaching. I felt her fear subside

    and was pleased to have finally made that connection with

    her I so desperately wanted.

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    She failed to stifle a yawn.

    I think its time you went to bed, Max, I said.

    She watched me carefully for a moment. Goodnight,

    Jacob, she said and then rose from her seat. I watched

    her leave and enter the house through the backdoor; the

    lock caught with a sharp snap.

    In the predawn glow of her tiny courtyard I realised

    the meaning of my life was finally about to begin.

    And then I wept.

    I wept for the life I had lost, the life I had

    found, and the lives I had taken to get here.