The Simple Life: Using Plain and Controlled Language to Improve Translation Quality and Consistency
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Transcript of The Simple Life: Using Plain and Controlled Language to Improve Translation Quality and Consistency
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© Erin M. Lyons, LLC 2011
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A Plain Language Primer
Applied Interlinguistic Principles
A Plain Language Toolbox
Applications and Examples4
3
2
1
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“The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do. ”
- Thomas Jefferson
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What is “Plain Language”?
Communication the audience can understand the first time it is read
Language that is plain to one set of readers may not be plain to others
Plain language is defined by results—it is easy to read, understand, and use
1 - A Plain Language Primer
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What isn’t Plain Language?
Baby talk or an attempt to be playful or PC
Stripping out necessary technical and legal information
Editorial polishing and clean-up
Easy
1 - A Plain Language Primer
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Plain language examples
1 - A Plain Language Primer
Original Plain Language
Counsel LawyerEquilibrium Balance
Restrained/enjoined from Must notWrit of possession Eviction order
Lessor/Lessee Landlord/TenantExempt property Protected income/assets
Renal KidneyStatutory Legal, by law
To warrantTo declare true; make
legally binding
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Milestones in the movement
o 1970 Plain English movement starts as a grassroots campaign to fight “gobbledygook,” i.e., legalese, small print and bureaucratic language
o 1978 Carter issues Executive Order on plain language
o 1982 British government issues White Paper ordering Plain language for the 1st time
o 1998 Clinton creates PLAN
1 - A Plain Language Primer
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Milestones in the movement, cont.
o 1998 EC Commission EN translators found Fight the Fog
EC Translation Service writes How to write clearly
o 1999 Unfair Terms in Consumer Contracts Regulations
o 2010 Plain Writing Act requiring US federal agencies to use plain language in all covered documents
1 - A Plain Language Primer
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Why is PL important for translators?
o Cuts bloat shorter, simpler text cuts down expansion factor in other languages (average of 25% out of EN)
o Strategic vocabulary selection prevents interlinguistic pitfalls (faux amis, semantics, implicature, etc.)
o Countries with multiple official languages and simultaneous drafting are more susceptible to unclear writing
1 - A Plain Language Primer
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2009 EC Commission survey
1 - A Plain Language Primer
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PL and translation
The problem!Very few writers have translatability in mind when drafting their
documents
BUTIn a multilingual
context, this is an extremely
important issue.1 - A Plain Language Primer
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EU language drafting trends
1 - A Plain Language Primer
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EU language drafting trends, cont.
1 - A Plain Language Primer
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EU language drafting trends, cont.
1 - A Plain Language Primer
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PL made simple
o No one wants to waste a lot of time trying to translate difficult, wordy documents
Eliminate barriersCommunicate effectively
LESS IS MORE!
1 - A Plain Language Primer
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“If you can't explain something simply, you don't understand it well. ”
- Albert Einstein
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The problem with translation…
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
o Linguistically equivalent notions may get lost (especially in legal, bureaucratic contexts!)
Translation metalanguage covers all facets and implications, but can be incomprehensible to the reader
o Interlinguistic mediation requires the accommodation of linguistically and culturally dependent elements
Equi-legitimate translations sacrifice readability
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How PL can help translations
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
o PL requires a concrete—rather than abstract—message
Forces translators to avoid ad verbum translations
o Helps minimize negative transfer False friends, jargon, and borrowing displace the burden of comprehension from the translator to the reader
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Plain Language
Structural & Functional Linguistic ElementsTextual
purpose and analyses
Equivalence shiftMeaning
Discourse register
Translator becomes interpreter
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
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PL obstacles: Faux amis
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
FF What’s wrong What’s right?
élaborer elaborate“to elaborate”
means “to go into detail”
draft, develop, produce
respecter respect “to respect” means “to value or honor” comply with, meet
opportunité opportunity “opportunity” means “chance” advisability
attribuer attribute to “attribute to” means “help” allocate to, assign to
prévu foreseen “foreseen” means “predicted”
provided for, planned
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PL obstacles: “Euro jargon” and “Euro-speak”
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
o Euro jargon:Language used by insiders/specialists that cannot always be understood by outsiders (comitology, habilitation, European construction, etc.)
o Euro-speak:Potentially useful language coined to describe EU inventions/concepts with no exact parallel at the national level (subsidiarity, codecision, convergence, economic and social cohesion)
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PL obstacles: Jargon, cont.
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
o Try to avoid jargon or make it explicit via definitions, in less abstract terms
Remember!Linguistically equivalent notions often have different connotations in different languages/locales
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PL obstacles: A historical example
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
Treaty of Versailles:o “legal or equitable interests” (EN) translated
as “droits et intérêts légitimes” (FR)
o EN corresponds to a well-established legal concept in the US/UK, while there is no definite legal idea in French
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PL obstacles: A historical example, cont.
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties:o Codifies procedure with a possible recourse
to the original language when meaning cannot be removed by ordinary interpretation
“the meaning which best reconciles the texts, having regard to the object and purpose of the treaty, shall be adopted” (Art. 33, para. 4 VCLT)
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A major linguistic challenge!
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
o It is very difficult to make a good joke in a foreign language (subtle humor, irony, etc.)
o PL is a similar challenge:How to convey linguistic subtleties with limited vocabulary and grammar?
o How can we avoid BSE (“bad simple English”)?
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When EN is a lingua franca
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
o There is a new audience of non-native English speaking professionals using EN as a lingua franca
Any alteration in style is more than compensated by an improvement in clarity and readability
o Translators need to examine the “big picture” of EN-language communication => communication is king
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Interlinguistic dilemmas
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
o English is a relatively simple grammatical language to begin with
o Grammatical and lexical differences between languages entail shifts in register
PL is based on “dynamic equivalence”Pragmatic transference aimed at the receiving audience
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Expected shifts
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
o Shift in structureChange in grammatical concept
o Shift in classChange in part of speech (ex. denominalization)
o Shift in unit or rankBreaking sentences apart
o Shift in terminologyNon-corresponding terms
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Shift in structure
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
o EN favors S-V-O structure, using short sentences without embedded clauses
o NL tends to “frontally overload” sentences (reverse EN flow)
o Ambiguous modifiers/subjects in non-EN
o Subjunctive is virtually non-existent in EN (constitutes 10% of constructions in IT legal texts!)
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Shift in class
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
o EN is more active, favoring verbs that are otherwise nominalized in Romance Languages
o EN can juxtapose adverbs (“amazingly slowly”), which is impossible in many other languages
o Prepositional and phrasal verbs are extremely commonplace in EN
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Shift in unit or rank
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
o DE is infamous for its use of nested sentences, involved periods (Schachtelsatz)
o Finnish favors more impersonal expressionsExtensive use of direct address could be perceived as officious & patronizing
o Legal ES (ES) still contains remnants of archaic and rigid structures inherited from style under the dictatorship
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Shift in terminology
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
o Gender vs. gender-neutral writingEN is generally*** a gender-neutral language
o Inherent hierarchical and structural differences
FR has 2 terms: “cour” and “tribunal” for 1 equivalent EN term
o Sublanguages/locales (DE for DE, CH, AT, etc.)
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Antidote for translator myopia?
2 - Applied Interlinguistic Principles
“Writing clear language can be difficult…sincemuch of the subject matter is complex andmore and more is written in English by (andfor) non-native speakers, or by native speakerswho are beginning to lose touch with theirlanguage after years working in a multilingualenvironment.”
- European Commission Directorate-General for Translation, English Style Guide
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“I believe more in the scissors than I do in the pencil. ”
- Truman Capote
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PL reminders for translators
3 - A Plain Language Toolbox
o Eliminate the passive voice where possible
o Keep prepositional phrases concise
o Eliminate unnecessary modifiers
o Avoid circumlocutions or intentional ambiguity
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PL strategies for translators
3 - A Plain Language Toolbox
o Opt for translations with Latin word roots, which will be accessible to a wider audience
beschleunigern >> translate as “expedite” rather than “speed up”
o Avoid unnecessary preambles it is interesting to note that…it may be recalled that…it is important to add that…
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PL strategies for translators, cont.
3 - A Plain Language Toolbox
o Abstract words are a barrier to understanding (several nouns + adjective)
“implementing a skills mix adjustment”“negative economic growth” (recession)
o Beware of language-specific trapsTranslating JP “tadashi” with a fragment in EN (“provided, however, that”)
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PL takeaways
3 - A Plain Language Toolbox
o Field – subject matter
o Tenor – author and intended reader
o Mode – form of the text
o Presupposition – assumed prior knowledge of the audience
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Readability and assessment tools
3 - A Plain Language Toolbox
o Reading Effectiveness Tool(http:www.eastendliteracy.on.ca)
Assign grade level
o PMOSE/IKIRSCH Document Readability FormulaRating scale inclusive of non-prose documentation (labels, signage, etc.)
o SMOG Online Calculator
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PL resources: General
3 - A Plain Language Toolbox
o PLAIN (http://www.plainlanguage.gov)How to guidesBefore and after examples
o Plain Language Network Association International (http://plainlanguagenetwork.org)
Language for law, business, scienceDead words list
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PL resources: General glossaries
3 - A Plain Language Toolbox
o The A-Z of Alternative Words (http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/files/alternative.pdf)
o Plain English Lexicon(http://clearest.co.uk/files/PlainEnglishLexicon.pdf)
Includes terms, alternatives, grade levels, commentary, and caveats
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PL resources: Health glossaries
3 - A Plain Language Toolbox
o Plain Language Thesaurus for Health Communications (http://www.nphic.org/files/editor/file/thesaurus_1007.pdf)
o PRISM Readability Toolkit(http://www.grouphealthresearch.org/capabilities/readability/readability_home.html)
o Michigan Library Plain Language Medical Dictionary(http://www.lib.umich.edu/plain-language-dictionary.com)
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PL resources: Legal and financial glossaries
3 - A Plain Language Toolbox
o Glossary of EU jargon (http://www.lga.gov.uk/lga/core/page.do)(http://europa.eu/legislation_summaries/glossary/)
o Nolo’s Plain-English Law Dictionary(http://www.nolo.com/dictionary/)
o A Plain Language Handbook: How to Create Clear SEC Disclosure Documents(http://sec.gov/pdf/handbook.pdf)
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“Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated
simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity. ”
- Charles Mingus
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4 - Applications and Examples
Example 1 – Legalese
“Lawyers have two common failings. One is that they do not write well and the other is that they think they do.”- Carl Felsenfeld, Attorney and Law Professor
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4 - Applications and Examples
Legalese: Before and after
Before AfterI give, devise and bequeath all the rest, residue and remainder of my property of every kind and description (including lapsed legacies and devises) wherever situated and whether acquired before or after the execution of this Will, absolutely in fee simple, to my Trustee hereinafter named. This trust shall be known as "Trust B" and shall be held, administered and distributed as follows:
I give the rest of my estate to my Trustee, who is named below. This trust shall be known as The Sampler Family Trust. The trustee shall hold, manage and distribute the remaining trust property as follows:
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4 - Applications and Examples
Legalese: Before and after, cont.
Before AfterI give, devise and bequeath all the rest, residue and remainder of my property of every kind and description (including lapsed legacies and devises) wherever situated and whether acquired before or after the execution of this Will, absolutely in fee simple, to my Trustee hereinafter named. This trust shall be known as "Trust B" and shall be held, administered and distributed as follows:
I give the rest of my estate to my Trustee, who is named below. This trust shall be known as The Sampler Family Trust. The trustee shall hold, manage and distributethe remaining trust property as follows:
Passiveto
Active
Redundant
Redundant
Jargon
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4 - Applications and Examples
Example 2 – Financial
“Plain English is like pornography. It’s hard to define, but you know it when you see it.”
- Nancy Smith, SEC Senior Official
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4 - Applications and Examples
Financial: Before and after
Before AfterThese securities have not been approved or disapproved by the Securities and Exchange Commission nor has the Commission passed upon the accuracy or adequacy of this Prospectus. Any representation to the contrary is a criminal offense.
Neither the Securities and Exchange Commission, nor any state securities commission has approved or disapproved these securities, or determined if this Prospectus is truthful or complete. Any representation to the contrary is a criminal offense.
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4 - Applications and Examples
Financial: Before and after, cont.
Before AfterThese securities have not been approved or disapproved by the Securities and Exchange Commission nor has the Commission passed upon the accuracy or adequacy of this Prospectus. Any representation to the contrary is a criminal offense.
Neither the Securities and Exchange Commission, nor any state securities commission has approved or disapproved these securities, or determinedif this Prospectus is truthful or complete. Any representation to the contrary is a criminal offense.
Passiveto
ActiveJargon
Abstractions
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4 - Applications and Examples
Example 3 – Medical
“Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”
“Well, in plain English, you’re just lazy.”
“Okay, now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”
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4 - Applications and Examples
Medical: Before and after
Before AfterDuring the birth process, a baby’s eyes may be contaminated during the birth with organisms that are shed from the cervix and vagina. This can cause a condition known as conjunctivitis. If this conjunctivitis goes untreated, it can rapidly lead to blindness.
During birth, a baby’s eyes can get infected with bacteria from the cervix and the vagina. This can cause a condition called conjunctivitis. If this injection is not treated, it can quickly lead to blindness.
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4 - Applications and Examples
Medical: Before and after, cont.
Before AfterDuring the birth process, a baby’s eyes may be contaminated during the birth with organisms that are shed from the cervix and vagina. This can cause a condition known as conjunctivitis. If this conjunctivitis goes untreated, it can rapidly lead to blindness.
During birth, a baby’s eyes can get infected with bacteria from the cervix and the vagina. This can cause a condition called conjunctivitis. If this infection is not treated, it can quickly lead to blindness.
Jargon
Redundant
Verbose
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