First Year, First ShowWelcome to the little village of Kharagpur, a place you will learn to call

‘home’ for the next few years and in moments of nostalgia, possibly for many years after. Kharagpur is a jungle, literally and figuratively. It’s a place where you’ll live in dilapidated buildings amongst creatures of the wild but is also so competitive that only the fittest survive. It will be a journey that will have its highs and lows, its moments of unbridled joy and all numbing sorrow, of high octane ambition and the trail of ashes it can often leave behind, and of course, of blissfully ignorant peace. On this journey of self discovery, you will make friends like you’ve never made before, friends who will become an integral part of your existence and your outlook. You will learn to reap the fruits of hard work and at the same time those little nothings of joy from idling away hours with friends. You will learn more and more about what awaits you in the big bad world, in what is a microcosm of the same. We’re all still learning, and there are miles to go before we can realize the nature of the imprints this journey has left on our minds.

The Scholars’ Avenue team would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to this jungle of wonder, to a phase that will if not shape your future, have a large bearing on it.

YOU ARE

HERE!

IIT KGP gives you your first chance of exercising franchise as early as a fortnight of entering the hallowed portals.All the halls elect their own Hall Council, which includes the happa and his secy’s (mess, library, soc-cult, sports, etc.).

Fresher events, organized by the TSG in the beginning of the autumn semester, help first years get accustomed to the new place as well as give them a first taste of the extra-curricular texture here. Events like Dumb Charades, What's the Good Word?, Hindi and English Creative Writing, Quizzes, painting, sketching and car toon ing prov ide an exciting distraction from the initial adjustment hiccups. Sports enthusiasts can compete with their kinds in Athletics, Table Tennis, Badminton, Swimming etc events.

Think co-curricular activities and you find a group of people, or society as we call here, ready to nurture your talents. A few weeks into August, there will be fresher auditions for the dramatics societies - English (ETDS), Hindi (HTDS) and Bengali (BTDS), the dance society TDS, and then for the Music Societies - Eastern (ETMS) and Western (WTMS).For the sci-fi enthusiasts we have Kharagpur Robotics and Artificial Intelligence Group (KRAIG) and Robotix. If you love to write, don't miss the opportunity to be a part of the Gymkhana annual magazine (Alankar) team, or Kgp's fortnightly newspaper "The Scholars' Avenue". (That's us!) All these societies and teams will hold fresher selections sometime in the year, so keep your eyes peeled!

T h e f i r s t

e v e n t organised by a

hall in the year, Khoj, an Azad hall

initiative is a Treasure Hunt in the truest sense of the

word. Khoj takes you on golden trails around the insti, through dark alleys,

long hidden places, and even stinking toilets

The first brush with exams… Kgp ishtyle! Probably the first time you’ll realize the vital importance of the photocopy machine and also that of 24x7 eateries in and

around the campus!

"Illu" or Illumination is the inter hall competition held on the Diwali evening. Each hall lights up a series of huge "chattais" or bamboo grids with "diyas", portraying a theme, generally mythological. When the whole surrounding is dark, and only your "chattais" light up, it’s a spectacle you would never forget. Rangoli competition is held parallel to Illu and again huge rangolis are drawn on separate themes. This is the unique event which draws crowds all around the halls. Something which you would always look forward to during your stay in Kgp, and also cherish the

memories once you are out of it.

Continued on page 8

T H E S C H O L A R S ’ A V E N U E

rdJuly 23 2007 www.scholarsavenue.orgIIT KHARAGPUR

"Technocrats" in the countryside

For all those, who hail from the fast-moving crowds of tinsel towns, this little burg might just be the closest you’ll ever get to the dusty, solitary roads of villages. Whenever, the breakneck schedule of your fresher lives gives you break, don’t just stick to the campus and the virtual respite it offers. The world outside, however “ramshackled” it might look, has great many “natural” things to appreciate...

• During the Second World War, the US Air Force set up few bases nearby. One of them is about 30 kms from the campus (called Garbeta) on the Raniganj Road. Not a soul in sight, your mobiles do not work and you feel cut off from the rest of civilization, you’re completely on your own! It’s easy to lose your way though, so take care!

• If you take the PremBazaar road and travel around 7 kms, there comes an ex-mining retreat to your left (a bit after a large market area). Characteristic of its red soil, the crevasses of the undulating land fill up with crystal clear water during the rains.

• Barely 20 kms from campus, on the way to Midnapore along the river Kansabati, you come across a unique village with 19th century temples everywhere. Built by Nawab Alibardi Khan, it is an ideal romantic recapitulation of historic art.

• On the Puri Gate side, the first left turn and another 7-8 kms would bring you to the Malancha Market. It’s a good change from the hackneyed buzz of GolBazaar.

• If your calling is through your stomach and you’re exasperated with the campus viands, try Highway to Calcutta, Great Indian Hotel, Garden Inn, Punjabi Dhaba , TamroLipto Park, and others to introduce your taste-buds to something new.

Although this new world you guys are about to experience may seem the most antagonistic option to the technocratic cosmos you were geared up for, it is worth the ride, if you make it so. Bored, jobless and frustrated with the rat race?? A rural India welcomes you to its abode of

tranquility!

The Scholars’ AvenueLearn the Lingo

Kaata - (n.) the process of inexplicably putting something to an abrupt endPSI- (n.) Pehchanne Se Inkaarpeace - (n.) the absence of loadload - (n.) the opposite of peacematka/matki - (n. derog.) An M.Tech studentrassa/rassi- (n.) A Research Scholarhighly - (adv.) definitelyhalloo - (adj. n.) the state of being unable to assimilate what’s going on around you caused by an incessant and rather longish kind of a strain on your brain.GPL - (n.) Birthday Bumps minus the “Birthday”.CG - (n.) the CGPA (Cumulative Point Grade Average).maggu - (adj.) Those who live to study and not study to live.DOSA - (n.) Dean of Students AffairsDOAA - (n.) Dean of Academic AffairsDIRO - (n.) the directorDC - (n.) 1. Disciplinary Committee 2. the software DC++ used to share stuff on the LANtute - (n.) tutorial classesfunda - (n.) the knowledge and/or understanding of somethingfundae - (n.) plural of fundafundaes - (n.) plural of fundae (yes, such things can happen here)Frussst - (n.) frustratedfrussssst - (n.) really frustratedfrussssssst - (n.) The guy on DC++roomie - (n.) room-matewingie - (n.) wing-matecali – (n.) caliberulti – (adj.) ultimatebhaat – (n.) baat aur chat by 2 or moreGolC – (n.) ideal place for bhaat2.2 – (n.) A stretch of road of 2.2 kms connecting all the focal points inside the campus.Panji – (n.) a five point someone; Similarly- Chhaggi, Satti, Atthi etcDepC – (n.) Department change

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

7:30 8:30 9:30 10:30 11:30 12:30 1:30 2:30 3:30 4:30

Midsems:th

14 September

Endsems:th 19 November

The Scholars’ Avenue

Recommended by doctors ‘insti-wide’ for hairloss prevention while in queue.

Toon Avenue

The aunty ac ro s s the st reet, your op in ionated coach, the guy at the mall wearing an IIT t-shirt, all of t h e s e p r o b a b l y h e l p e d develop somewhere in you an image of what an IITian is supposed to be like. In the coming days and weeks parts of that image would be shattered, parts would be reinforced and then there would be parts you shouldn't let go of.

Well begun is half done, they

say; nothing better than starting

on the right foot. Like it or not,

acads are important. You may not

think it 's necessary to start

studying early, you may not feel

like it, but you must. Exams hit you

like the girl you're more likely to

bump into outside KGP than

inside.

AGrades are based on your performance in mid-semester and end-semester exams, class tests, vivas, and if you ' r e un lucky, su rp r i se q u i z z e s.

AAvoid failing courses. It might cost you your summer v a c a t i o n .

AIn KGP, your CGPA is a number that will give you companionship throughout your stay in KGP. You reap

rewards or a swift kick in the backside depending on how you treat your CG.

AThere are video lectures and notes available online for many courses. Ensure you get hold of these. They can come in very handy if you've dropped off in class. Also keep checking the internal notice board at http://noticeboard.iitkgp.ernet.in for updates.

The library at IIT KGP is the biggest technical library in Asia. It would be in your best interests to use it well:

AMake sure you go to the library the moment you know what books have been prescribed for each subject. If you don't manage to get hold of a book, hold a friend who managed to get a copy at knife-point and negotiate a deal with him. Sharing is the way to go.

AThere is an online booking facility, whereby you can reserve books and check the status of the books that have been issued. This is linked from the institute's website.

AFrom the digital library on the first floor of the Central Library, one can access online journals and technical papers for a wide variety of subjects.

Here is some arbit[rary] stuff that would probably help you:

AThe professor is the ultimate authority when it comes to grading. He decides whether grading is absolute or relative.

ALecture notes for most courses are available online.

AAssignments keep you running throughout the year, well, to the Xerox counters at least (pun intended).

AThe tricks of the trade are better learned early. Figuring out which books to follow, who to get hold of to explain something you haven't understood clearly and learning how to come across as confident during your vivas are the mantras to success.

AOne of the most widely known rooms in the institute is F-127. Open throughout the day, this is the ideal place to study for p e o p l e w h o h a v e n o i s y roommates.

AKeep an eye on the notice boards. Don't miss out on an opportunity to apply for scholarships that you may (or may not) be eligible for.

More than anything, life at KGP is fun.

AMake sure you attend the product ions held by the numerous societies.

AEating well can be a problem, but do your best.

AHave lengthy discussions about a human's purpose on earth.

APick up KGP lingo as fast as you can.

AKick people whenever you get the chance.

APractice looking like you're awake when you're actually asleep. This could come in handy in some classes. Take that from someone who's got experience :-)

TSA Presents The S to A of academics at IIT KGP

Higher credit courses are more important because they play a greater role in d e t e r m i n i n g y o u r Cumulative Grade Point Average , wh ich i s a weighted average of your grades.

If you're aiming for a DepC, your CG is a much more important number than the number of Terabytes of "stuff" on the LAN.

Academically Speaking...

The Scholars’ Avenue

How o become an ngineereBHAAT AVENUEMARCH 25 2007 9

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Well, that's all folks. May you become yet another intelligent and capable engineer.

If you think you can still finish the work, this probably isn't

the right time to start. We engineers believe that the time

you enjoy wasting isn't wasted time and hence the corollary

that most of the time you get should be wasted. Work is

really just an impediment in the otherwise more natural

and pleasurable order of things, completed with minimal

time and resources.

Start working only at the last moment

The most uncomfortable situation for an engineer is to meet a person on a day that happens to be his birthday. Weird, but true! Their brain is wired that way. They just can't avoid the feeling of extreme revulsion. They get so worked up at the mere existence of such a person that they are immediately filled with a homicidal temptation to kill him. The feeling is so prevalent among engineers that a ritual has been designed especially for such occasions. Known as GPL, it consists of lifting the accused in the air and damaging his behind brutally with the help of anything that is capable of giving you the willies. This requires four to five people; however the number can go up without bounds depending on the number of people eager to satisfy their sadistic desires. The result ranges from an immediate death to serious chronic difficulties in doing normal daily activities. In such circumstances, it is always wise not to share your birthday with anyone. It might prove lethal.

Never disclose your birthday

This might come to you as quite a shock. By "hall", one would generally mean that building you stay in - MMM Hall, for instance. However, the word has a much broader meaning attached to it. It is what is mentioned in bold fonts before your name in your résumé. It is what you must have printed on anything you wear. And if, you are asked to leave a message for the aliens to prove that we existed, the message must be the name of your hall, for, you will soon believe (or at least asked to) that it is THE most relevant information in your universe.

Your hall is your identity

Well, yeah, welcome aboard and hearty congratulations for passing the toughest exam in the world. If you believe in the Law of the Excluded Middle, you shouldn't disagree with the observation that the world can be divided into two broad categories of people - those who want to be an engineer and those who don't. Since you have spent a large amount of precious time and brain cells in order to make sure that you reach these hallowed portals, it isn't very unreasonable to assume that you belong to the former, and if you do, here's some really useful advice that will guide you through your noble pursuit.

The qualities that make one an engineer

are also the qualities that make one a woman-

repellant, and, in some extreme cases, a repellant in

general. If you are a woman yourself, th

en the above

doesn't necessarily apply to you. But in that case, you

wouldn't really care, would you? So, to put it in a

nutshell, there really isn't much point in trying to impress

the fairer sex, because of the simple reason that you

can't!

Girls aren't fo

r engineers

DID YOU KNOW? Friction is a necessary evil. (And is also why, despite the lack of pins, the notes stay up!)

Washington: American

President George Bush is

planning to ban Maggi noodles

a n d K e l l o g g ' s C h o c o s

cornf lakes , in a h ighly

unexpected and illogical move.

This act, soon to be passed into

law by the rubber-stamp Congress, has left

analysts pondering over the new course that

American foreign policy is embarking upon.

Sources at the White House reveal that this

shocking move comes in the wake of

confirmed intelligence reports that the

Not-so-secret sources in the White House

have said that classifying Maggi Noodles as a

WMD is a move that is on the cards. In an

unusual turn of events, the students of a little

known Indian college, IIT-Kharagpur have

vehemently condemned the move.

“Maggi ka tempo high hai." said one irate

protester. "Bush ka baap kaun? Laden! Laden!"

said another, blissfully unaware of inherent

paradoxes. Incidentally, what might have

earned Chocos and Maggi the Executive's

wrath is that they are in fact the First Breakfast

and First Lunch respectively on weekdays.

Al-Qaeda has recognized the utility of

these two products, and has included it in

the essentials backpack for all their

combatants along with the familiar AK47,

American-made Stinger missiles and a

recording of a mighty tempo shout

common to all fighters, to be listened to and

recited at least 10 times a day, whatever the

place and position. The Secretary Of

Defense, Robert Gates had this to say, "An

army marches on its stomach. With this

move we aim to hit the Al-Qaeda right

where it hurts, in the tummy.”

Maggi : A WMD? PRESIDENT George W. Bush outlines new strategy for “War Of Terror”

MONDAY, July 23RD 2007

Welcome to Bhaat Ave where common sense is just hype!

Spring is never 'just' green in KGP. Each SpringFest is a treat for the eye and the spirits alike. A truly unforgettable experience which brightens up the other days of the rest of your KGP life. An event that will change your conception of a geek!

Even technology can be celebrated a n d K s h i t i j , t h e “ t e c h n o -m a n a g e m e n t ” f e s t o f K g p demonstrates this amply. Apart from various competitions (with big bucks at stake), lectures and workshops featuring the very best from academia and industry, Kshitij has brought a Nobel laureate and leaders of India’s top corporations to Kgp.

N i t e Footer

Nitefooter, organised by RP, is a football event different from any other, talent is not a

prerequisite. An open mind and the ability to make a complete idiot out of yourself when all reasons stemming from

logic would compel you otherwise, is apparently the only pre-requisite. So get ready for two nights of ‘football’ and a large dose of

healthy fun.NMQKgp has a strong quizzing tradition. And the best way to check out how

your talent might fare against that already existing would be partake in the keenly fought and very prestigious Nehru

Memorial Quiz organized by the Nehru Hall.

A f te r a

year as the only

proverbial lion in

your halls, y o u ’ l l

progress to the dens. Just

before the end of 2nd sem, the

buzz around will be about your

future hal ls of res idence. With

rumors afloat about almost everything

from the date and time of hall-allocation to the

method adopted in it to the hall allotted to you,

the gymkhana will keep you guessing well after the 11th hour. Then about a week before the sems, the shell will be dropped. The only heart breaking thing about it is the possible separation from the first year mates.

The thirst for power never quenches!Welcome to the Gymkhana Elections – the time of the year when the student office bearers are elected, including the Vice President, the G. Secs and the Secys for Sports, Social and Cultura l events and for Technology. Offering drama, joy and tears galore, this is one of the most awaited events and the most a g g r e s s i v e l y f o u g h t contest in the institute calendar.

The one day of the year when your room’s actually going to be clean.

The one day when you actually have a fair bit of food in your room. And… the one day when guys and girls are officially allowed to coexist within the

confines of any hall room in Kgp!

Almost every hall in Kgp has a ‘hall day’, when it allows all vanity to take over, decorates itself in chandeliers, sets up food stalls, often adds a fountain or two too for added affects and puts up a variety of performances to entertain its guests. With so many halls and so many hall days, don’t be surprised if you find yourself asking ‘where’s the party tonight’ throughout

March!

EH T EN

D

O n e abbreviation you can expect to be

shouted out at you from almost all corners of KGP. The GCs or the general championships were once

the only source of entertainment in a LAN-devoid campus. Those days may be long gone but the brio has not faded away.

Annually the Gymkhana issues 4 GCs, one each for an exemplary performance in the soc-cult, sports, technology and maintenance

events. Winning a GC is an all-round-the-year effort and takes a great deal of hard work, team spirit and obviously talent.

Teachers’ DayIt is the day when RK Hall celebrates the

b’day of the man it is named after - with much more than song, drama and the shake of a leg. News flash: ‘star’ fachhas have been known to perform on the Netaji stage with the best of RK Hall for this event!

VortexSwirl in to rhythm of the only Open-IIT Dance competition. Organized by LLR Hall the giveaways include cash prizes for best solo and group performances and also for fillers which may be casual entertaining stuff.

Holi i n t h e

campus i s marked by the

presence of lots of t h i n g s , i n c l u d i n g

t handa i , ma tka phod competitions, people tearing off

the clothes of others and oh yes, some colours too. There is a grand event

organized in the Gnan Ghosh Stadium where they distribute sweets and thandai and

occasionally people are found to climb on top of each other in attempts to break the matka.

yraunaJ

yra

urbeF

March

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