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Transcript of The Purchase Independent - 10/07/10
Q & Athe
October 7, 2010 | Issue #220
2
y o u r. i n d y @ g m a i l . c o m LETTER FROM THE EDITOReditor-in-chief:Riley Kennysmith
layout editor:Tara Connel ly
writers:Hil lary AndersonAdam BreidbartVanessa CavanaghRose CrosbyMadame Query
copy editors:Erica BascoAlex Prosc ia
print manager:Robyn Wilk ins
cover photo by:Kel lyann Petry
artwork by:Tony Washington
web editor:Daniel le Lempp
We’verunintosometechnicaldifficultiesthisweek,butaspromised,
we’regettinganissuetoyounomatterwhat.I’mespeciallythankfulforthe
internetthisweek,becauseevenwhenwe’reunabletoprintissuesontime,
wecanstilluploadtopurchaseindy.comforyou!Convenientandecologically
savvy,nottooshabby.
I feel likeIhavenothing to say thisweek,but that’sonlybecause
I’m holding in a huge secret! The Indy staff is planning something big,
something that’s going to take months and lots of collaboration from the
campus,and it’sall I’vebeenable to thinkaboutsince itpopped intomy
headlastweekend.AndwhenIsaythissecretishuge,Imeanthisprojectis
hugebeyondanythingwe’veeverdonebefore.It’ssomethingtomakeusall
proudof ourcampusandmakethiscampusaplacetobeproudof—we’re
goingdownintheannalsof Purchasehistoryandwe’retakingyouwithus,
and you’re gonna like it.Ican’treallygiveawayanymorehints,butIthinkit’s
goodtoprepareallof youwiththisanticipatoryletter.Sharpenyourpencils,
clearyourcamera’smemorycardandcleanupyourcanvases,becausesoon
enoughwe’regoingtocallonyoutobepartof somethingbigandweneed
you to be ready.
ThePurchaseIndependentisanon-profitnews magazine, paid for by the Manda-toryStudentActivityfee.
We welcome and encourage submissionsfrom readers. The Indy is a forum forcampusissuesandevents,togivestudentsthe voice they deserve. Letters, articles,comics,ads,eventphotographyandeventlistingsarewelcomed.
The deadline for submissions is every Friday before midnight, and acceptedpieces will be published the followingThursday. Publication of submissions is notguaranteed,but subject to thediscre-tion of the editors. No anonymous sub-missions will be considered, but we willaccept use of pseudonyms on a case-by-case basis.
[email protected]. Send questions toMadame Query at formspring.me/ma-damequery.Backpagequotescanbesub-mitted to formspring.me/indybackpage or put in the Back Page Box that hangs on the office door.
Our office is located on the first floor of CampusCenterNorth, room 1011. Staff meetings are held in the office every Mon-daynightat9:30;anyoneiswelcometojoin.
3
MUS I C
Hillary Anderson: Who plays what? Are you guys all Purchase students? What do you study? Greg:Iplayguitarandsing.I’maStudio
Production student and still in progress.
Nick:Iplaythedrums,andI’mcurrently
studyingGraphicDesign.Asfarasdegreesgo,
we’reallrelativelyclosetograduatingsowhether
wetakeoff anothersemesterortwoornot,we’ll
definitelybebacktofinishitup.
Frank:IplayguitarandstudyLiterature.
Mitch:Iplaybass.Ialreadygraduatedfrom
SUNYGeneseoandhaveaB.S.inBiology.
HA: What is it about Triple Crown that made you decide to choose them over another record label?G: A number of reasons. After looking over the
dealsthatwerepresented,TripleCrownwas
morewillingandcapableof negotiatingterms
withus.BeingfromNYC,theirlocationmade
iteasyforustobeincontact.Fred,theowner,
isagoodguy.Gettingtoknowhimduring
the negotiation process helped us feel more
comfortablewiththelabelthanwithotherslabel
weweretalkingto.
M:TripleCrownseemedlikeagreatfit,
especiallysincewe’veplayedahandfulof shows
withAsTallAsLionsandTheDearHunter.
HA: How did you decide to make your recording process public? G:Wethoughtitwouldbecooltokeeppeople
involvedineverythingwedo.It’snotthefirst
time a band has done something like this. But
MOVING MOUNTAINSBY HILLARY ANDERSON
sincewe’llberecordingtherecordourselves
again,wethoughtit’dbecooltostreamitonline
so people could log in and see the progress and
development. The internet is good for that.
F:We’realwaysthinkingaboutwhatwe’dliketo
seeourfavoritebandsdo,andthatideacameup.
HA: What does Triple Crown think of that decision?N:Notreallysure,tobehonest.Fromthestart
though,TripleCrownhasseemedprettyopen
to our ideas and letting us do (for the most part)
whatwewant.
F:Yeah,andthatfreedomisrarenowadays.It’s
agreatattributeof TripleCrown.
HA: Is there any particular sound you’re trying to move toward with your new album?G:Focusandbalancebetweenambienceand
rock.It’shardtoshareanythingaboutitnow,as
wehaven’tbeguntrackingyet.
N:Yeah,focusandtrimmingthefat.Oursongs
tendtobelongeranddrawnoutonpastrecords,
butnowwe’restartingtoquestionwhatparts
reallyneedtobethere,howlongtheyneedto
be.
F: We’ve also been progressively concentrating
onhavingsongsthatwillworkwelllive.One
of thereasonswedon’tplaytoomanyPneuma
songsisthatMovingMountainswasn’treallya
live band at the time.
M:Probablyeverybandbelievestheirnewstuff
is“better”thantheiroldstuff,butIreallythink
this record is going to be pretty solid. We’ve all
(continued on page 4)
4
(continued from page 3)
grownandbecomebettermusiciansoverthe
pastfewyears.IfeellikewerecordedForeword
ages ago.
HA: So you guys are going on an international tour. That’s exciting. Will it be the first time you’ve gone abroad?F:Yes.Goingoverseashasbeensomethingwe’ve
beenmeaningtodoforawhilenow.We’reall
excitedasit’sabrandnewterritoryforustoplay.
M: We played Canada once. Even though it isn’t
allthatradicallydifferentfromtheU.S.,itwas
still pretty fun and exciting. Especially crossing
theborderandbeingparanoidof gettingstrip-
searched by Customs agents.
HA: How will you pick your setlist for upcoming shows?N:Oncethenewrecordcomesout,wewill
certainlybeplayingalotof newstuff,butof
course keep some older songs in the set. We’ve
beenplayingsongsoff PneumaandForeword
formanyyears,sotohavenewsongsintheset
willbequiterefreshing.Wenevermakeupa
setlistthenightof theshow.Beforeatourwe’ll
pickouttheorderof thesongswewanttoplay,
andpracticethatsetafewweeksbeforehand.
Thenwe’llhaveoneortwomoresongsthatwe
cycleinandout,if wehaveenoughtimeandthe
crowdisintoit.
HA: How was your tour this summer?N:Tourthissummerwasawesome.Allthebands
onthebillweregreat,andwe’vebeenlongtime
fansof PolarBearClubespecially,soitwasan
honorforthemtotakeusout.Everywherewego
isexcitinginitsownway,becauseit’salldifferent
(orthesame,dependingonhowyoulookat
it).CitieslikeChicagoandDallasarealways
excitingbecausewedowellthere.NewYork
also,justbecauseit’shome.
F: All our tours have been very different so far.
Itreallychangesdependingonwhoyou’reout
with.We’vemadelotsof greatfriendsonthe
roadbothfrommusicianswe’vetouredwithand
peoplewe’vemetfromplayingthesamecities.
Everyplacewe’veplayedhashaditsupsand
downs.It’sgreatbeingabletotravelandhave
newexperienceswhiledoingwhatwelove.
M: Tour is absolutely great. The only thing
that sucks is that your food options are often
seriouslylimited.Youcan’tcookanythingfresh
foryourself.Youeithergetbarfood(whichis
delicious but really unhealthy) or Taco Bell at 2
a.m.afterashow.That’saboutit.Sometimeswe
getluckyandgetafreshhome-cookedmealata
friend or relative’s house.
HA: Do you get any gifts from fans?N:Sure,mostlyfoodthough.Sometimesweget
homemadebakedgoodsbroughttotheshow,
whichisalwaysnice.
M:Onefanthatwebecamefriendswithon
tour,ElisefromPortland,OR,madeusvegan
cupcakes in chocolate andvanilla.Thosewere
thebestvegancupcakesI’veeverhadinmylife.
And none of us are vegan.
HA: Are you still going to play shows at Purchase after you’re rich and famous? N:If theywantus,surely!
HA: Anything else you want to say?N:Thanksforreadingthisinterview,andbesure
tocomesayhinexttimeweplayinthearea.
Ournewalbumwillbeoutearly2011.
5
HER C AMPU S
Reallythough,whodoesn’tlikeroadtrips? Life on a budget doesn’t mean you have toleaveyourcarintheparkinglot.Sobuckleup,adventuresaren’tcompletelyoff limits.Inanefforttobulkupmy‘bucketlist’of sorts,Ijourneyedbeyondtheofferingsof Purchaseanditsfivehundredacresof campus.WeendedupabouttwohoursawayinOldMystic/MysticConnecticut. OldMysticandMysticaresmallNewEnglandcoastaltowns,whichIlove.Myfirstmissionwastofigureoutif OldMysticwasworththedrive.Meaning,whatfreestuff istheretodootherthanwindow-shoppingatantiquestores?Mysearchledmetoanumberof thingsincludingmuseumsandinterestingly,B.F.Clyde’s Cider Mill. Done. WeleftearlyonSaturday.‘We’asinmyboyfriend and me. (He’s my trusted navigator and the elected historian of the trip.) Our drive wentsmoothly…allninetyexitsof it.Whenwefinallystartedtoseesignsfor“OldMystic(x)milesaway,”boyfriendtriedhopelesslytocaptureapicture,butobviouslyat70mphitwasprettyimpossible. But an essential piece of the road trip pieisthephotographicproof,andaftermultipleattempts,hefinallysucceededjustaswearrived. TheMillwasonlyafewminutesaway,butonceweturnedfromMainStreettoNorthStoningtonRoaditwentfromcitytosomewhereoff thebeatenpath.TheMillistuckedawayamongtreesjustbeginningtofadeintotheirautumn blush. Thelowdown:B.F.Clyde’sCiderMillistheonlysurvivingsteampoweredcidermillin
ROAD TRIPBY ROSE CROSBY
theU.S.,familyownedandoperatedsince1881.Iknow,itsoundslikeadrag,whygothere?ButIpromise it isfun.Oh,anddidImention,free? Choosing to go to the Mill could have meanttwothings:1.Wecouldhavebeentheonly people there. 2. We could have been the only collegekidsthereamongstcrowdsof familiesandwhinykids.Luckily,neitherwasthecase. Wearrivedjustintimeforoneof thecider making demonstrations. Literally hundreds of apples are chopped and then pressed by thesteam-poweredmachinery,andwhiletheworkersseemcompletelyunaffectedbytheaudience,Iwaslikeakidinacandystore.TheMillisdeckedoutwithvintageequipment:jugs,signs/posters,andparaphernalia,butnotastackyandoverwhelmingasApplebee’s.If thatdoesn’tentertainyou,watchingtheapplepressingprocesswill.Afterthedemonstrationwasover,boyfriendandIwalkedaroundtherestof theClyde’sproperty.Inadditiontomakingsweetcider,Clyde’sproducesapplebutter,applejelliesandaslewof hardcidersandapplewines.Soforthoseof usthatarelegal,itisquiteanexperience—sorrykiddies,buttheyareadamantaboutcheckingIDs. Of courseourfirststopwasovertothe(free!)hardcidertasting.Andforgetwhatevernotion of hard cider you have (it’s nothing like Woodchuck,whichissweetandbubbly).Clyde’scidersarenotcarbonated,andtendtobemoretart.Wepurchasedahalf-gallonof theLuckyLioncider,madefromRussetapples,forjustunder$12withtax.
CIDER MILLS RULE
(continued on page 9)
6
Twoweeksago,Iranianpresident
MahmoudAhmadinejadstruttedhisfinely-
suited self into the United Nations and managed
to piss off a lot of people. He claimed that the
9/11attackswere‘abiglie’andwentonto
explainhowtheassaultsonU.S.soil“intended
toserveasapretextforfightingterrorism
and setting the grounds for sending troops
toAfghanistan.”Hiswordsdidn’tcomeasa
surprisetomany.Infact,inthepastfewyears,
it’sbeendifficultnottocomeacrossatleasta
handfulwhobelievein9/11conspiracytheories
thattheentirethingwasaninsidejob.
If conspiracytheorieshaveproven
anything,it’sthatitmustbehumannatureto
latchontocomplicatedanswerstomajorevents.
Oneman,withonerifle,shotone president?
Hellno,itmustbedeeperthanthat!40years
later,therearestillpeoplewhobelieveJFK’s
assassination must be more complex. Conspiracy
theorieshavethewonderfulabilitytocapture
our imaginations in a chokehold. We’re all
conspiracytheoristsatheart;wemaynotalways
believeaswearetold,butwecan’tresist
listeninganyway.
Theconspiracytheorist,asarule,seizes
upon any apparent inconsistency and from that
germof truththestoryisbuiltup.The9/11
documentary Loose Change captured the hearts of
teenagersandtwenty-somethingseverywhere.
The most popular theory is that the WTC
Towerscouldn’thavefallenthewaytheydid
fromstructuralweakeningduetofire;ithadto
be a controlled demolition. Another common
theoryisthatthePentagonwasnotactuallyhit
byaplane,butbyaU.Smissile.It’squiteeasy
toeatthisshitup,it’snatural(andjustified)for
ourgenerationtoquestionthoseincharge.But
therewerealotof sloppyinconsistenciesinLoose
Change,andthecreatorof thedocumentaryeven
came out and said so. He admitted that a lot of
thefactswereunverifiedandexaggerated.The
realtestwouldbetoseeif thepeoplewatching
wouldtakewhattheysawastruth,orgo
researchandfactcheckforthemselves.The9/11
TruthMovementisamorelegitamitegroupwho
criticised many of the claims made in the video.
Theproblemwithpeoplewhobelieveeverything
theyseeonYouTubeorreadonmessageboards
isthatingeneral,conspiracytheoriestendto
beshortondefinitive,“smoking-gun”evidence.
Manyareimpossibletodisprove,yettheabsence
of hard evidence can be interpreted as support
forthetheory,soit’ssortof likeanendlesscycle.
One of the most popular underground
theoriesistheferventbelief inReptilians,
spanning thousands of years of Earth history.
Maybe you’ve heard of them. Maybe you
knowoneof them.Typically,Reptiliansare
describedas6to8feettall,havingscalygreen
skin,andsmell.DavidIcke,aBritishauthor,
travelsaroundtheworldandspeakstocrowds
of thousands about the impending doom of the
Reptilian race and the mind control they have
overusall.Hewrotethattheyarecapableof
shape-shifting,andsincetherecentemergence
BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING BY VANESSA CAVANAGH
7
of YouTubeandtheexpansionof thistheory,
manyfiguresinthemediahavebeenpeggedas
Reptilians.ThelistincludesGeorgeW.Bush,
writersandpersonalitiesonFoxNews,hundreds
of congressmen,TheQueenof Englandand
hundreds of others.
One of the more plausible theories out
thereisabouttheMontaukProject,aseries
of time travel and invisibility experiments
conductedinMontauk,LongIsland.Dozens
of bookshavebeenwrittenaboutthe
allegedcontactwithextraterrestriallife,the
enhancement of psychic abilities for those
involved,andtheconsequentcreationof the
‘Men in Black.’
There are hundreds upon thousands
of theorieslikethese.Somehavebeenproven
overtheyears,andothersloomoverusfor
decades.Forexample,thousandsof Americans
believe the conspiracies surrounding the creation
of certaindiseasesandthewithholdingof
theircuresinordertokeepthecancer/AIDS
industriesalive.SomebelievethatJohnLennon
waskilledbytheCIAbecausehehadtoomuch
influence,orthattheApollomoonlandingswere
staged.Someevenbelievethatthemarketing
schemebyCocaColainthe80’swasjustaplot
totakeawayaproductpeoplelovedandreplace
itwithonetheyknewpeoplewouldhate,justto
makeconsumerssquirmwhiletheywithhelditin
ordertoincreaseprofitswithitsre-release.
Forthoseof youwhoenjoystaying
uplateprowlingtheweb,somefascinating
theories to look into include but are not limited
to: The Fluoride Conspiracy (allegedly the
greatestcaseof scientificfraudinthiscentury),
TheIlluminati&Freemasonry(duh!),the
VrilSocietyConspiracy,theGulf of Tonkin
Resolution (the hoax that started the Vietnam
War) and the conspiracies surrounding the
Columbineshootings.Butdon’tstopthere,
keepreading,keeplooking.Justdon’tbelieve
everythingyouread,evenif itdoesmakeyour
imaginationwanttoflyawayandnestcomfortably
whereveritlands.
your. indy@gmai l .com
8
Adam Breidbart: Would you say you handle your money as well as Tony Stark?Alex Stark:Iworkmorethanjustthisjobsoit’s
easyformetolosetrackof myfinanceswhenit’s
flyingatmefromeverydirection,butthePSGA
moneyIfindisveryeasytohandlebecause
everythingissoprocedural.Idon’twanttosay
it’seasy,butyou’reneverconfusedaboutwhat
todobecausethere’salwayssomewheretolook
thatwilltellyouexactlywhattodo.
AB: What is your role in the PSGA as the Coordinator of Finance?AS:Myjobistohandleandtrainthetreasurers
foralltheclubs,organizationsandservices
andmakesuretheyknowhowtospendtheir
money.Thenwhentheyhavequestionsabout
spendingtheirbudget,theycometome.Inthe
springsemester,Imakesureallbudgetproposals
have meetings set up and that they get proper
allotmentsof money.I’malsoinchargeof
writingtheentirebudget,whichdoesn’tjust
includeclubs,orgsandservices,butalsothings
likeintramuralsportsandthegymgrant,which
isacouplethousanddollars;thingslikethat.
AB: What are your financial goals this year for the PSGA?AS:Lastyeartherewerealotof issueswith
clubs’treasurersandpresidentsnotknowing
howtospendtheirmoney,notunderstanding
theproceduresof spendingPSGAmoney.My
goal is to make sure there are no hiccups or
issues,especiallywithnewclubs.It’sexciting
thatthePSGAisgrowingandit’sagreatthing
8
ALEX STARKBY ADAM BREIDBART
because it’s one more place for students to go
andbeinvolved.Ithinkif youdon’tgetinvolved
inthingsatPurchase,youwon’thaveagood
experience.Iwouldalsoliketowriteanamazing
budget next semester that makes everyone happy.
AB: Where did your interest in this position come from?AS:LastyearIwasthesenatorof Alumni
Village.MyinterestinthePSGAcamefrom
RussellZambitobecausehewasoneof my
goodfriends;hewaschairof Senateandhe
introducedmetothePSGA.Whenitwastime
forhimtoleaveItookoverasleadgayinthe
PSGA.IsatonfinanceasasenatorandIsaw
whatNicodid,andIgotreallyinterested;after
askinghimabillionquestionsIrealizedthisis
completelywithinmyrealmof interest.
AB: Does your major tie into the position?AS:Yeah,Istartedoff atQueensCollegeas
afinancemajor.WhenIcametoPurchase
therewasnofinancemajorsoIswitchedto
economics.Iwouldn’tsomuchcallitan
economics program because there is so much
involvedinit,it’smorelikeabusinessprogram.
They incorporate elements of every single aspect
of moneyandbankingwhereitisreallyrelevant
to a position like mine.
AB: What’s the biggest pain about the job?AS:Idon’tthinkanythingisarealpain.Igotthis
positionexpectingtodoalotof workandIdowork
normally40-50hoursaweek,butIspreadoutmy
timewellenoughthatnothingseemslikeahassle.
COORDINATOR OF FINANCES
BY ADAM BREIDBART
COORDINATOR OF FINANCES
9
CAMPU S
AB: What has been your role in handling the aftermath of the flood in CCN?AS: None of the executives have been involved
inhandlingit,theschool(mostlytheOffice
of StudentLife)hasbeenhandlingthatwhole
situation. The school is paying for the damage
sononeof itiscomingfromthePSGAbudget.
Theonlythingreallybeingrenovatedisanew
carpetandnewceilingtile,anditshouldbefixed
withinthenexttwoweeks,whichisreallynice.
AB: How are all of the salaries for student service employees figured out into the budget?AS:It’smostlybasedonpastprecedence.When
IdomybudgetIdon’talteranyone’ssalary;
I’veseenthedramathathascomefromitin
thepast.ThePSGAstipendpositionshaveto
remember,we’reanon-profitorganizationand
none of us really get paid more than the other.
If youdoyourjobreallywellandcareabout
workingfortheschool,themoneyissecondary.I
don’tdothisforthemoney;IdoitbecauseIlove
thejob.Yougetalittlecompensationandit’s
also something great for your resume. We try to
spread the pay as fairly as possible.
AB: When you graduate from Purchase do you want a future in finance?AS:RightnowIampreparingfortheLSATand
planongoingtolawschool.InsomewaysI’llbe
involvedinfinance,butIwanttopracticelaw.
AB: What was the inspiration for your Toy Story tattoo? (Alex has the face of the 3-eyed alien on his arm.)AS:It’sactuallyareallyhorriblestory—Iwoke
uponemorningandsaid,“IreallywantaToy
Storytattoo,”andthenwentoutandgotit.The
designwasonthebackof anotebookIbought
atWal-Mart,andItookittothetattooartist.
NowIhaveitandIloveit.
(Road Trip: continued from page 5) Fromthere,wewenttotheiron-sitemarketfilledwithjams,jellies,syrups,andothergoodies.Nottomentiontheirfamoussweetciderandhomemadedonuts!Weeachhadacupof ciderandadonuttotaling$3!Themarkethasa$10minimumchargeforcredit/debitpurchases,so bring your loose change. Weenjoyedourafternoonsnackoutsidenexttothehomemadepopcornstation,andlistened to a country music cover band. Not necessarilymycupof cider,butittotallyfitthe setting. After torturing boyfriend by taking countless pictures of us by the corn stalks and pseudopumpkinpatch,wewentovertothe(free!) applewinetasting.Applewineisafunnything;Ihadnoideawhattoexpect,butitwasdelicious.Myrecommendationisthespicedapplewine,whichisbestconsumedwarm.Yes,hotwine.Thetastewassimilartoappletea.Basically,deliciousness.Allinall,otherthanthebeewitha personal vendetta against my cup of cider (and theport-a-potty)itwasagreatafternoon. Theroadtripcostabout$25inpurchases(food,ciderandparkingwhenwestoppedafterwardforfurtheradventuresindowntownMystic)and$20ingastogetthereandback.Overall,Mysticisanawesomeplacetovisit,farenoughtobeconsideredaroadtripbutcloseenoughtogoforjusttheday,evenif you’re
onabudget!Happy Ventures!
This article is published courtesy of Her Campus.http://hercampus.com/purchase
10
I don’t have the courage to tell this girl I like her—my past failures and rejections keep coming back to haunt me. I feel like such an idiot. Any advice? ThisquestionremindsMadameof a
quotefromoneof herfavoritemovie-musicals
of alltime,Fiddler on the Roof.Thepoortailor,
Motel,isdyingtomarryTevve’seldestdaughter
Tzeitel.Tevverefusesatfirst,butTzeitel
encouragesMotelandsays,“Evenapoortailor
isentitledtosomehappiness!”You,myfriend,
are entitled to some happiness. Don’t think that
youarethefirsttoberejectedandhumiliated
byyourcrushes.We’veallbeenthere,andif a
reader out there hasn’t then they’re the asshole
humiliatingandrejectingalltheinnocentsuitors.
Buteventhey’llhaveatimewhentheirloveis
not reciprocated.
Yes,evenMadamehasbeenrejected.
Inperson,overthephone,throughtextmessage
andsadlyevenfacebookchat.Itsucks,ithurts.It
makes you stronger and a much better lover.
Iwantyoutostopfeelinglikeanidiot,
take a good look in the mirror and scream “I
am hot shit!”...italwaysworksforMadame.(If
youshareadormitorybathroomIsuggestyou
whisperorthinkittoyourself,orelseyoumay
look like an idiot.)
SUBMIT YOUR QUESTIONS
TO MADAME QUERY
http://www.formspring.me/madamequery
MADAME QUERY HAS YOUR REMEDY
Any suggestions for the virgins out there? Yes, we do exist on this campus. I want to swipe my v-card soon-ish, but I still want to respect myself in the morning. Help! Justgetitdonewith.Getblackout
drunk. Get penetrated or penetrate. Respect
yourself by having an orgasm.
Actually,reallyrespectingyourself isthe
following:thinkaboutwhatyouwant.Think
aboutwhatyoucanlivewithafteryourv-cardis
gone.If youjustgoandloseittosomerandom
personwholivesdownthehallfromyouand
won’tcareafterward,doit.If you’regoingto
besuperlameandcryabouthowyoulostitto
someoneyoudidn’tcareabout,don’twasteyour
friends’timeandworryyourself bydoingitlike
that.If youjustwanttogetitdonewith,then
besafe,findyourwillingparticipantandpopa
squatonthem.
HereiswhatIwillsaytoyounomatter
whatdecisionyoumake:afteryouloseit,don’t
berecklessandloosey-goosey.Itisn’tapretty
sighttoseesomeonegodownthatroad.You’ll
looklikeacompletetwatif youdothat.That’s
nottosaythatyoushouldn’thavesextofulfill
someneeds.Youknow,likeeveryonceina
while,notenoughtomakeyou(andyourSTD
record)looklikewhore.Thereissuchathingas
masturbationafterall.Andif youwanttoshare
thelove,justkeepitsafeandasecret.Don’tfuck
withinthesamesocialcircles,oryouwon’thave
socialcirclestofuckwithin.ButIguessyouneed
toloseitfirstbeforethathappens.
11
ADV I C E
So one time last semester, I got a little shwasted and ended up going home and getting naked with a random dude. He’s nice and all, but a little too bro-y for my tastes. We haven’t really talked much since. Now we have two classes together. Help! Did he not make you “banana
pancakes” in the morning? Okay maybe that
wasabadJackJohnsonreference.AllIhaveto
sayisevenif heisbro-y,don’tmakeanything
awkward.Youcandoalmostanythingif you
act like nothing is phasing you. Fake it until
youmakeit.If youactstrangeorareobviously
tryingtoavoidhim,thenthatalready-too-big
elephantintheroomwilljustkeepgrowing.
Madame understands that it is hard to
notappearuncomfortable,becausethat’show
weautomaticallyfeelwhenthatsituationoccurs.
Justlastweeksheranintoaformerfling,triedto
bepoliteandsayhelloandthengottreatedwith
TheBigIgnore.Itburnswhenyoutrytobenice
to someone you don’t even really care about and
theyactlikeanasshole.Regardless,therewas
alsoapositiveside:Iwasn’ttheasshole.Iwasthe
innocent one trying to make things right and he
wasthecowardwhojustsoconvenientlyturned
hisheadrightasIwalkedintotheroom.
Don’tpretendheisn’tthere.Youboth
knowwhoisinyourclass.Youdon’thavetogo
outof yourwaytotalktohim,butif youcatch
eachother’seye,giveanoblewave.Awaveora
simplehellodoesnotsignalthatyou’rewilling
togivethisguyanothernightof pleasure.If
he’sjustasmatureasIhopeyouare,he’llknow
you’rejustsayinghiandnothingelse.
A response to last week’s Pakistan article:Thank you for looking at Pakistan and trying
totacklealargeinternationalissueintheIndy.
It’snicetoseetheIndyeventryingtolooklike
arealnewspaperafterrecentyears.Although
Ms.Cavanaghraisedsomegreatpoints,she
missedtwolargereasonsforthelackof media
attentiononthePakistanifloodsascomparedto
thecoverageonHaiti.ThefirstisthatPakistan
is one of the most dangerous places on Earth.
Journalistsarenotallowedinmanypartsof
thecountry,sotravelthereisnearlyimpossible.
TheotherpointIwanttobringupisthat
Pakistan’sgovernment,ascorruptandineptas
ithasbeen,stillstandsandgovernswithvarying
degrees of success. The Haitian government
wascompletelyintatters,unabletoaiditsown
people. Neither of these are excuses for the lack
of media coverage or donations to the victims
of theflood,onlypartialexplanations.Also,
concerningthissamearticle,pleasedon’twrite
in a highly sarcastic manner to your readers.
Theydon’twanttobeeducatedthrough
derisionandguilt.Andif anything,pleasenever
NEVERpunctuategruesomefactswith“yum.”
Iappreciatethewriter’sattemptathumor,but
itjustcameoutpettyandliterallyrevolting.
If you’regoingtotrytowriteaboutaserious
subject,atleasttrytobeserious.Again,congrats
totheIndy,andkeepupthegoodwork! -AR
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