PowerPoint Presentation

The perfect dysfunctional familyBy Jenny Trang11/17/2012CIS-1020-0421The media always portrays 2 types of familyThe happy familyThe perfect family always includes both a mother and a father that are both happily in love and display their affection for each other publicly.The father works while the mother stays at home to take care of the kids.There is usually only one other sibling in the family, or another newborn.Both grandparents are present.The unhappy familyThe dysfunctional family usually lacks one parent.The remaining parent is working.Portrayed as work-a-holic.Constantly stressed.Unattentive to their childrenIf the parent is not single, they are fighting with their spouse.There is usually more than one other sibling.The parent is an authority figure also known as the punisher or angsty disappointed parent in films.&

Maybe give examples of popular movies featuring the two types of familes?2

The perfect family...DOES NOT ACTUALLY EXISTEveryones family can be perfect and happy in their own way but should not follow the guidelines of what a happy family should consist of. (explain further)3How does the unrealistic image of the perfect happy family affect us?What I was faced with personallyI have had 3 step fathers because my mother had the idealism that the only way to have a happy family is to replicate the happy family that is portrayed to us by the media exactly or else having a happy perfect family isnt possible unless it was an exact copy of what the media dictated was considered a happy family.I call that the happy family idealism.

She ended up giving up on trying to develop a perfect happy family and just focus on herself and her childrens happinessShe was constantly working I hardly ever saw herI thought she didnt care or love meI felt neglectedOur family never ate dinner together and wasnt what society would deem as a happy familyI had 3 younger siblings:Autistic 13 year old brother4 year old little girl10 year old little boyWe have no relatives in America, and my mother lost contact with her family ever since coming here over 14 years ago

Talk about how distant I was from my mother and how I lacked a parental figure growing up because she was required to work to provide for the family.5How that made me feel:UnhappySaw my family as imperfect and dysfunctionalUncompassionateUncaringNeglectedTrappedAngryIgnoredI also saw my mother as uncaringOnly caring about her job and making moneyI fought with my mom a lotJudged her ways of caring for her childrenDemand her to buy things I wantedIgnored her and acted indifferent when she would complain about her job to meI would say I dont care She would end up crying and we would fight moreI was very uncompassionate and un-understanding towards my motherAnd then when I hit 18, I demanded to go to a college out of state so that I could leave the familyWe fought even moreWhat I did:

What made me change and see things in a different way?One day after fighting with my mother I had decided that I was going to run away and live with my friend.So I instant messaged her on Windows Live Messenger and told her everything.But the conversation with my friend had changed my life completely.

The conversation:Friend: Yeah I can let you stay at my place, but let me ask you something Jenny..Me: Hm?Friend: Are you sad?Me: Yeah.Friend: Are you lonely?Me: Yeah (I sat there tearing up thinking about how sad and lonely I was.)Friend: Then dont you think your mom is just as sad and lonely as you are if not more? She has no relatives or friends, and her 3rd husband had just left her, and now shes trying her best to make a living so that she could support you and the kids all by herself, at least you have friends and you dont have to pay bills and buy food and clothes for your kids, and not just that but she literally has no one but you, so of course when the only person left in her life, her own daughter wants to leave her, shes going to be upset and fight with you, she doesnt want you to leave, shes lonely and sad and she only has you left.Me:

Give a little history about how my friend would always support and agree with me but for the first time she told me truthfully her thoughts on my problems.8

How that conversation changed my outlook on lifeI finally sat down with my mother and had a heart to heart conversation with her, not as mother and daughter, but as equals in human beings with the ability to feel the same emotions.I finally reached a mutual understanding with my mom.Now my mom tries to take more time off work to spend time with the kidsI try to help out with taking care of the kids while shes workingMe and my mother are now practically best friends We confide in each otherWe didnt even talk to each other before or even had a normal conversation with each other, unless it involved arguing about somethingNow were a happy family, we dont need to be that exact image of a happy family to be a happy familyEvery family is different and can find their own unique happiness.My AdvicePut yourself in your parents shoesUnderstand that the families that the media portrays are fictionalNormal families have issues and fight quite oftenA perfect family is one with mutual understanding and respectYou dont need both parents to have a happy familyYou can get into disagreements and fight with one anotherAs long as it concludes with further understanding of each other and respect for each others differences.Most important of all is to be grateful and thankful for what you have, a lot of people your age dont even the luxury of having a mother or a father Think about what you would feel if you didnt have your parents to support you and to provide for you.

My AdviceHave a more positive outlook for everythingIf you only notice the dysfunctional negative parts of your family, then thats all you will really ever seeNotice the good things! Theres actually a lot of them if you actually look for themLove your family for their imperfectionsNo family is like your own! Every family is different and unique, and special to you.And dont let the media define your family for you!