8/14/2019 The nation-Being a Good Dad Starts From One Day

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Being a good dad starts from day one 20/12/08

I once asked a young man who his wife put to bed recently, if he now knows how to puton diapers for his new born baby. His response was; it’s the woman’s job. So there are

jobs assigned primarily for women in the perspective of some men; part of that job

includes doing the laundry and majorly the upbringing of the children. Why learn how tofix diapers when the wife is there, is the song you will hear from most fathers; thank Godfor the modern day were napkins isn’t as desirable for the modern day mothers. It’ll have

been worse because the women will have to do the washing so that it’ll be clean andhealthy for the use of the child.

I remember when our first son was born four years ago; I picked up my bundle of joy andkissed him. I have become a dad, and was all excited about the feeling. I later learnt that

been a dad is not just been called one alone; I saw my wife do things in the house; go towork and come back to a routine life again. That can be very boring, so I decided to givea helping hand to the degree that I was permitted.

I wasn’t allowed to bath him nor wash his gum (no teeth); I had limits on his clothing thatI can do the laundry. I wasn’t allowed to breast feed him neither (the mum has the sole

prerogative to do that); but I was allowed to change his diapers when he was much older and to rock him gently until he goes to sleep. My wife will wake me up severally times inthe night to rock him to sleep after he has done eating; I just hold him and do a gentlydance until he goes to bed.

Cleaning is buttocks after peeing and messing his diapers was a messy job at the beginning; the smell can some times knock you out cold. I remember those days likeyesterday; exciting and tiring too. I look forward to those days soon; my second son is

just a few days old as at the time of writing this article. The only thing I have beenallowed to do so far is to rock him to sleep or pick him up so that his mum and grandmum can get other things done in the house. My first son still screams after using thetoilet; daddy, come and wash my bombom. I even joking tell him that I am not a bombomwasher, and he will respond that you are.

I will like to share a sad story of a father who is now in jail because he didn’t control histemper when his wife angrily told him to take his turn in taking care of his daughter; hethrew a punch; she slumped and died.

One of the elders (John) of the local assembly called his member to help him see reasonswhy he shouldn’t throw tantrum when he is angry with his wife; he out of experience toldhim of the story of Kunle who is serving a life imprisonment sentence. Kunle was afriend he knew as a child; though very friendly, his weakness is his anger. Once he isangry, it’s difficult to make him see reasons until he has broken something.

When he got married to Yemi 29 years ago, everyone seems to believe he had found a perfect partner; she was cool headed and not the type that you will hear her voice raised.They got married and everyone that knew Kunle counted him lucky to have found such a

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lovely lady; his area went agog with fun because there were lots of drinks and foodserved.

Not long when Yemi got pregnant, she rushed down to John’s place because her belovedhusband has beaten her blue black. Her face was swollen and full of bruise; it was a

miracle that she didn’t loose the pregnancy. He came begging and she agreed to move inwith him; not long after their challenges was settle she gave birth to a lovely daughter.Every night when she cries, Kunle will practically kick her awake to keep her quiet notcaring if she was fagged out because of the house hold work that she had been doingsince he left for the office in the morning. One of those nights when he kicked her to takecare of their daughter, she cracked; she began screaming at him to go pick her up and

play his role as a father instead of just claiming the right of a dad. Despite his threatening,she didn’t get bothered by it. As she got up to leave him and their child alone in the room,he stood at the door to stop her; one thing led to another and Kunle seems to go wild withanger. He began punching her until she slumped; out of rage he left the house. When hecame back hours later, he noticed she hadn’t left the spot she fell down when he threw her

the last punch. By the time he picked her up, she was dead.He was tried for murder and was sentenced to life imprisonment; his daughter is nowgrown up and married. His regret today is that he didn’t learn to deal with his anger andhe wished he had just picked his daughter that night rather than punch his wife. He hasspent over 25 years imprison so far.

Every dad should play his role in making his family pressure free; women really need thehelp of their husband in taking care of their children. It’s easy for a man to get home;throw down his coat, order for his food and sit down to watch Chelsea and Arsenal playwhile mummy do the running around, the screaming and the spanking. I feel that isn’t fair on the women; acting as a dad don’t start when your children are all grown up, they needyou to wash their bumbum and put on their diapers now.

Olufemi Fasanyarelationshipmatters@gmail.com ,

08037257479, 08083906405