The Myth of ‘Stepmother’

We often hear of stories that deal with a wicked stepmother, especially when we were

young. Like the stepmother letting her stepchildren do all the household chores, the

stepmother, literally tried to kill them through different intrigues, the stepmother, being

portrayed as someone who looked after the interest of her own children and less

concerned about her stepchildren etc. These popular themes are circulated and endorsed

by the society. Let’s see how these popular themes are true even to the Poumais. The

authenticity of its practice is witnessed in certain folktales. For instance let’s take the

image of a ‘stepmother’ projected in one the Poumai’s folktale called Laphila (it could be

different from village to village like, Kholuru, Khalula, etc.). Most of us must be familiar

with this story, but for the sake of those who have not heard. This story is about the

cruelty/ill-treatment meted out to a girl child called Khalula and the hardship which she

goes through. Khalula’s mother died while she was still very young so, her father

remarried with the hope to bring up Khalula with a motherly love. But unfortunately, it

did not happened as her stepmother turned out to be very cruel. In fact, Khalula was

forced to do all the households chores. She had no leisure time to be with her friends. But

one fine day, she was allowed to go with her friends to collect Louh (jute like plant). But

even on that fateful day, fortune was not in favor of her. As she tried to collect the

beautiful Louh plant growing beside the lake, her Naotusa mysteriously fell into the lake.

She was so worried but when she confided to father, he was sympathetic enough and

consoled her, saying that he can always get one for her again. But a great twist took place

when after her stepmother inflicted poison to her father’s mind, convincing him that she

might have given the Naotusa to her lover and not fell into the lake. The next morning her

father scolded her very badly. She could not tolerate anymore so, she went and pleaded

with the god of the lake to return the ‘Naotusa’ and take her instead. Thus, she was

engulfed by the lake forever. The point of contention here is ‘Naotusa’ the unique bangle,

which creates a rift in the relationship of the father and the daughter.

As enumerated in the above story, the image of a stepmother seems to be one of

the most negative images even in our culture. It has acquired the status of a counter-

image and has come to be associated with injustice and cruelty. It has therefore, come to

denote an attitude rather than a relationship. This counter-image exposes the falsity of

proto-image of an all-sacrificing mother, which has been fostered and perpetuated by the

society. Myths, legends and tales are the most important source of analyzing this negative

image that represents archetypal patterns and behavior of the society. In these kind of

stories the father figure is not visible. He is pushed behind the scene; we do not see his

role in the midst of all the ill treatment practiced by the stepmother on the children. The

‘father figure’ remains silent. In fact, the father becomes an important tool to accomplish

all the ill treatment meted by the stepmother. It is the father who had brought a new

mother to his children who is a stranger to them. In fact, he should take the role of the

communicator, the counselor and the advisor, which had failed in this case. In this story,

a stepmother is portrayed to be the root cause of all evils. She is an example of evil and

injustice. Traditionally, Poumais follow a patriarchal system, wherein the father is the

head of the family. He gives the final decision in all the matters of the family. But when

the evil activities are in question, men just become or take the role of subordinate and

women are highlighted beyond measures as symbols of evil. The question that comes to

our mind is that why women were alone highlighted in the stories as wicked and the

cause of all evils? Why not the father and the stepchildren? Does this kind wrong stigma

really affect the society?

In conscious study we find that this kind of stories which project women in a negative

role has enormous impact in our society even today, whether it comes from centuries-old

tales or modern movie plots, this stereotype continues to dominate society's thinking

about stepmothers. Therefore, unfortunately, no matter how good the stepmother is to her

stepchildren, she has the stigma of being the ‘stepmother’ who is always projected

negatively. If any misunderstanding arises in the family, she becomes the victim or is

blamed just because she is a ‘stepmother’. This could also be viewed as another way of

projecting women as evil and typecasting her as the root cause of all evil. A myth is

created here that all ‘stepmothers’ are bad and evil. How should we should deconstruct

such myth, and look things from a different perspective. The bigger question is, today

being a Christian how do we view this image of a ‘stepmother’? Have we changed that

stigma exists in the past or do we still have the same perspective towards all the

stepmothers? It is sad to know that such ideology has ruined the life of many families. It

would be important to note that the image of ‘stepmother’ is not born but created and

they are forced to assimilate into that image which the society has created!