The Mouse Problem: A Story in Artifacts
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Transcript of The Mouse Problem: A Story in Artifacts
A story of artifacts
By Kevin Hodgson
Phone Conversation: The Daily Gazette Newspaper
“Hello? This is Sam Lead.”(whispering voice) “Mice.”“Excuse me?”“Check the mice.”“I’m sorry. What mice? Sir, can you speak up, please?”“Mice at the warehouse. Check the mice.”“Which warehouse are you talking about, sir? What mice?”(click)“Sir? Are you there, sir? Hello?”
From: [email protected]
Subject: Rodents?
Dear Mr. Winkle,My name is Sam Lead, and I am a reporter with the Daily Gazette newspaper. I heard from a source about some rodent problems in your warehouse and I thought it might be worth a look for a story. Please contact me as soon as possible.Sincerely,Sam LeadreporterDaily Gazettewww.dailygaz.com555-3232
Instant Messaging Records
fred: now what do we do?profmoriarty: just ignore it.fred: and if this reporter don’t go away?profmoriarty: don’t worry. he doesn’t have a clue. rodents?fred: right.profmoriarty: good. now, when does the next batch come in?
From: [email protected]
Subject: Rodents? A Follow-up
Dear Mr. Winkle,I sent an email to you earlier this week. Perhaps you did not get it? I’d like to ask you a few questions about the rodent problem at your warehouse. Can you spare me a few minutes of your time to answer some questions?
Sincerely,Sam LeadreporterDaily Gazettewww.dailygaz.com555-3232
IM Recordsfred: he’s at it again.profmoriarty: who?fred: the reporter. asking question.profmoriarty: ok. Plan B. make up a story. just keep them off track.fred: story?profmoriarty: he thinks rodents. give him rodents.fred: ok.profmoriary: see u tonite. our friends from roofmart r anxious.
IM Records
profmoriarty: cats? that’s what you came up with?fred: best i could do.profmoriarty: what will you do with the cats now?fred: don’t know. let them loose, i guess.profmoriarty: fine. has our shipment arrived?fred: tonite.profmoriarty: same time, then.fred: ok.
Transcript: Live at 5 Local News .... but the president says that the Middle East peace process once
again shows signs of progress. Sometimes, you just need to bring people into the same room. Isn’t that right, Sandy?
Correct, Stew. In business news, there are more concerns about the ability of companies to deal with the shortages in the technology field as the holiday season approaches. The sudden closing of the large copper and plastic corporation known as Boolean Inc. last month has meant that many of the basic supplies for computers and equipment, such as keyboards and other associated devices, are in high demand across the world. Many department stores are getting ready for disappointed customers, Stew, and shoppers should be prepared to pay a high price for the most common computer-related equipment.
From: [email protected]
Subject: What about the Cats?
Dear Mr. Winkle,Thank you for your time. I hope you saw the article. Today, I received an angry phone call from a Mrs. Smith, who wants to know where the cats came from and what will happen to them now that the rats are gone. Can you give me some details of your plans for the cats, please. Thank you.
Sincerely,Sam LeadreporterDaily Gazettewww.dailygaz.com555-3232
Letter to the Editor
Dear Editor,I cannot believe this story in the newspaper about the cats eating rats at that warehouse. Is that anyway to treat a cuddly animal? The rats were just living their lives and certainly did not deserve to get eaten by cold-hearted cats. And tell me: what will happen to the cats now? This issue needs a full investigation by your staff. I have been a dedicated reader of your newspaper for 45 years now and I expect some answers.Yours truly,Elsie Smith
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Cat Story
Mr. Lead,
You got that story all wrong. There were no rats. They brought in them cats just to cover up the real story. It’s about mice. Check it out. The mice are what you wanna be looking for.
A source who knows
From: [email protected]
Subject: Mice?
Dear Mr. Winkle,I wonder: is there also a mice problem at your warehouse? I have a tip to check it out. But it would seem to me that if the cats got rid of the rats, they would just easily get rid of the mice, right?
Sincerely,Sam LeadreporterDaily Gazettewww.dailygaz.com555-3232
IM Recordsfred: now he’s asking about mice.profmoriarty: mice? he knows?fred: naw. he thinks it’s more rodents.profmoriarty: easy enough, then. remind him you have cats.fred: i did.profmoriarty: good. the delivery went well. check your bank account.fred: will do.
Letter to the Editor
Dear Editor,I cannot believe that cat issue is unresolved. Are you or are you not a newspaper? I implore you to send your best investigative reporter to that warehouse and expose this issue for what it is: cruelty to animals!Yours truly,Elsie Smith
Conversation, The Daily Gazette
“Sam.”“Yes, Mr. Starr.”“Come here for a minute. Weren’t you the reporter on that rodent story? The one at the warehouse?”“Yes, sir.”“We’ve got this woman ...”“Mrs. Smith?”“That’s her. She’s complaining that we are not doing enough on this story. Do me a favor? Head down to that warehouse and see if anything looks odd. Then give this woman a call and get her off my case.”“Certainly, sir.”“It’s OK if you don’t find a thing. But we can at least say we did our job.”“Got it.”
To be continued …
Note from the author: this is an experimental work in progress …