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THE MAN WHO GOT WHAT HE WANTED

You might like to hear about a young farmer friend of mine, a Mr C of the !ounty

of Norfolk, "ho "a# $ery di#!ontentedbecause he was so poor, although he worked

dreadfully hard day and night.

If only I had a bit more land he told me, I could do something with it. But as things are I

work night and day and dont earn enough to go on holiday.

And as luck would have it there was a delightful little meadow ust ne!t to his property,

where wild flowers grew charmingly and birds sang sweetly, and it belonged to a dear

little old lady with a donkey called "oseph.

#hat uicy bit of pasture would do me nicely he thought, enraptured by the birdsong and

the lovely flowers, and its much too big for that little donkey.$e knew the little old lady came morning and evening to visit her beloved "oseph and give

him sweet hay made with clover and fresh carrots. But with winter coming she was

dreadfully worried about her donkey because he was out in all weathers and got wet and

cold.

If only I had a little shed for "oseph he would be much happier she told my friend. I

come every morning and evening to look after him, but I have a bad back myself and Im

not very well.

But I have a nice little shed which is completely empty he said, and if you like your

charming donkey can live there all winter.

%h how kind you are& e!claimed the old lady, but he also needs to go out. $e loves the

sun and the clouds and listening to the birdsong in the open air.

#hen I can take him out in the morning and put him to bed in his shed every evening

cried the young man good'naturedly.

Ah thats so thoughtful of you. But what will he eat( I come twice a day you see, to give

him his sweet clover hay and carrots, and at the same time I make "oseph a clean little bed

of fresh straw so he sleeps well at night.

I can do all that with pleasure for such a delightful animal he responded.

But you cant do it for nothing she cried. )hat can I give you in return(

)ell maybe you could let me have that little field over there if you dont need it( And for

that I pledge myself to look after "oseph day and night, winter and summer, for the rest of

his life.

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#he little old lady was ecstatic and promised to see the *olicitor the ne!t day to draw up a

deed of gift and make everything legal.

And perhaps you could put "oseph in his shed right away she said, as its beginning to

rain.

#hus began my friends new life.

$e had to get up earlier every morning and go to bed later every night because the

charming "oseph wasnt very e+uable and didnt at all like the little shed where he found

himself he preferred the open air. And he didnt care much for his new custodian either

and gave him a kick when he had the chance. And Im afraid my friend began to dislike his

charge and sometimes kicked him back when he was stubborn and wouldnt move. All the

same each morning he remade the bed with fresh straw and found sweet hay for him,although it took an hour to drag the animal from his shed to the pasture.

But its worth it he thought. Because that nice field will soon belong to me.

And every evening it took him an hour to push the donkey back to the shed where he had

left his carrots.

-ever mind he said to himself, that lovely little pasture with its flowers and birdsong

will be mine any day now.

But as everyone knows, the law takes its time. And winter gave way to spring, which gave

way to summer, and another year passed and the solicitor was not yet ready to conclude the

legal contract.

And the donkey got more and more difficult, and my friend the farmer got more and more

tired, so that the old lady even en+uired if he was ill.

$owever at last the day came when the documents were produced and the two parties

signed them and after two years of waiting the property was his.

But by now my friend was so e!hausted that he couldnt carry on.

#his bloody field& he e!claimed furiously. )hat can I do with it( I have neither the time

nor the energy to work it. #he old lady arrives every morning to ask why the donkey has

not been taken out of his shed, and I have to do this every day for the rest of its life. And

they say donkeys live a very long time. Im done for&

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And he never again visited the pretty little pasture where the flowers grew so charmingly

and the birds sang so sweetly. $e told me he hadnt the heart.

from An Ignoble /ollection of #rivia, 0ossip and Innuendo by 1. ". )ard2