~ . ~

! ,

PROLOGUE:

REQUIEM FORAN ANGEL

At last the fires are out, and I can see what happened...

Until yesterday the land was curtained by smoke, but today the sky is finally clear again, washed clean by the first ofwinter's storms. From the broken summit of

Twin Peaks I view the sharp blue line of San Francisco Bay, where white caps dance before a rising afternoon wind and a strong ebb tide pulls floating wreckage toward the Golden Gate.

The famed orange bridge is gone; only its towers still stand, and from each ofthese a tangle of metal cables sways slightly in the afternoon gusts.

I can scarcely believe what I.'lee! Only three weeks ago this place was filled with activity - colorful sails, hissing traffic, even win,,,, craft that carried people through the sky. Now there is not a Ilan of life.

Ian Francisco is dead.

, ' Prom my ItonYJ)iUtopL~ nothing but dcsbrll. Only one _Wtlllil even re~zable, an'ti~~~r that survived becaule '0I·1tI ~;~tlIPe, and I brood over the IIcene, trying to oom,," hOW~ I have been beaten. But my gloomy reverie

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THE LUCIFER DIARY

is soon interrupted, for before me stands a growing line of messengers, cuing up to report what has happened elsewhere. Dreading what I expect to hear, I nod curtly to the first in line.

"Master, the same thins has happened to Denver. I couldn't even locate the city center. Th. d••truetion is total."

Nor is the news any diff.rent ftoom Moscow and Tokyo. My scouts from Liverpool check In, u do the on•• assigned to Bombay and Lima, then Sydney and Nalrob1. ~ Ilan of life at all? The answer is unifonn: "No luck,~. What )'ou see here seems to have happened everywhere."

Ifthis is true, I've suff.red ~ 4fMJIiIliJ bave feared for eons, for the humans were my arms and ".~lcal contact with the world outside the Fourth Dim'DI.-~re. somehow, .th~.re must be at least a few ofthem l.ft.lt.....,. we can rebulld.

On a hunch, I summon a party til" Ull

"In rural Montana,» I say, W ourvivalists who expected this and prepared for It.' "':Ib'ed supplies and equipment. Some even built bunk'lI ' "., '..... ', ' I and concrete. Go look there. We may find pockets of h ,,' ' _'living."

·f H~~d'

They dash off, disappearing ....time-space barrier while I remain, by choice, in the dim' the humans were trapped - trapped because, long aao, . .; _sed to put them there. They were prisoners oftime, and ....¥Mod them ofall they valued most: youth, vitality, the companI.....,oflike creatures they called friends. I had gulled them Into ....inS the Luciferian Reversal, and having done that, they dlllllVllld too late there is no going back.

, In human tenns, perhaps an hour ~ Dejected, I pace the littered summits ofTwin Peaks and think 0'"traffic that, just days before, milled about beneath me -:- oftoD apparent purpose. I dread hearing what my ,1Gt'iltS' ~ilr . d when they burst through the time-spa~ "barrier, reenterlna an dimension, J tum from them as if to will away th.1r n. .f'" ,

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THE LUCIFER DIARY

"There is nothing anywhere, Master. Nothing at all. The humans are gone. It is over."

So this is how it ends. I am Lucifer, Commander of the Revolution, and most of the beings on Earth were my allies. If they are indeed gone, then my empire is ruined. For I am at war.

It was not always so. Once I lived far away, in a place called the Realm ofLight. I was the mightiest ofangels, commander ofthe Legions ofthe Cosmos. For nearly 98 eons I stood before a towering blue and gold throne where the King was wrapped in dazzling light. But midway through the 97th Eon something changed - something deep in my soul, something I still do not understand. Somehow I came to hate him, and I challenged him for control of the universe.

That was when the war began. A third ofhis forces joined me, and we fought savagely, giving ground but never giving up, and the battle spilled out across the universe itself - clear out to the fourth quadrant of the Outer Ring, where we found ourselves on a tiny beachhead at the edge of a cosmic sea. The name of the place was Earth. It was here we made our last stand.

How did it happen - this nightmare of broken dreams? I've asked myself that question a billion times, and still I have no explanation. But perhaps there is a place Ican start searching. Before the war began I commenced writing a journal which I've kept ever since. This afternoon I'll open it and look for answers.

It is time to read The Lucifer Diary.

r""" .. ,~,i , '\", . il'V'<""

,../" ...., .

r

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II

IN THE BEGINNING

CHAPTER!

Realm ofLight, Eon 97, Age 4456.4

lam Lucifer, Guardian of the Light, and I stand in the presence ofEI Shaddai, the Mighty One. He is a towering being, ablaze with light, and we are told that he has been

here forever - from before the moment the universe was born. From eternity.

Less than a hundred paces distant is his throne, a glowing pinnacle ofblue and gold, radiant with light and energy. Beneath the throne is a place we call the Stones ofFire - a huge assembly ground paved with diamonds, extending nearly to the horizon and filled with bright beings who come and go on cosmic errands.

Through this crystal ocean flows a river oflight, billowing like fire. At.times the light beneath our feet is pure White; at others it boils with color, turning the assembly ground incandescent. Here I spend most of my time, and here his legions gather, awaiting assignment. All of them are under my co~r.nand.

Often he calls for musrc,"mdI summohthe Assembly to sing the anthem, the words ofwhich never cease to thiill me: "Unto Him

, '"

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THE LUCIFER DIARY

who sits enthroned in light... "I have heard it for almost a hundred eons, yet each perfonnance surpasses the last. When his name is spoken, the Flying Ones cover their faces in reverence, and the enonnous crystal vault overhead shakes with energy. I never tire of hearing the anthem; I expect I never will.

In this place oflight and movement, ofsong and mystery, there is one supreme emotion. All of us are drawn to him by a force that comes from the center of our souls. I cannot imagine a fate worse than being separated from him.

He is the incarnation of love.

Eon 97, Age 4460.2

It is strange, but true: I have attended him for ages, since before the creation of the Inner Ring, but still I do not understand him. All the rest of us have a point of beginning, a time when he brought us into being, yet I am told that he has always existed, and therein lies the mystery. How can someone be who had no start?

But there is another mystery. He is one, yet he exhibits three personalities, each of them distinct. There is EI Shaddai himself, who resides on the throne. There is also the one called Ruach, whose name means Spirit. One cannot see him, one feels him, and his power is overwhelming.

The third Being is the most puzzling of all. Sometimes he leaves the throne and travels to the far quadrants of the cosmos, while the Mighty One remains enthroned. When he returns, we sometimes learn that new galaxies have been called into being, and when this happens Ruach always accompanies him. I do not understand that. I do not understand creation. I must admit it: that bothen me.

Iam bothered by still another enigma. We call him Archon, the ruler oferlation, but I have heard EI Shaddai call this third Beina hi. "Son." Yet he has alway~ been here, and we are told that, like the Mighty One, he had no ~Dg. HOw, then, can he be anyone's son? "r-'

r­

11 \""'"''''

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THE LUCIFER DIARY

And, come to think about it, what does this say about my own status? I am first among all the created ones. Many have exclaimed that I am the most beautiful angel in the cosmos, yet this third Being at the throne bears a name that implies creation. So why is he honored above me? Is El Shaddai not telling us the whole truth?

No! I must never again let that thought enter my mind! He is truth. His law brings order, without which this whole complex universe, with its ring systems and orbital harmony, would collapse. Everything in creation proclaims that he is right. Have I lighted a billion suns, or brought warm beings to life? From where else but him could come that river of energy that lights the paving stones beneath our feet?

No, better to accept it: Archon - the Son, if you will - is simply a mystery I may never be able to understand. Ifhe is truly one of the Three, if he is superior to me, then so be it.

I am content. I will do my best at the throne.

Bo" 97, Age 4461.0

Something curious has just happened. A High Command errand required my presence over at the Paralese 3 formation, and while I was away, Aldebaran, my second deputy, was in charge. As he called the Assembly to order and led the anthem, the throne luddenly glowed with hot reddish light, a color we have never seen Chen before. The vault, Aldebaran said, filled with such high levels or IMI'I)' that the Assembly could scarcely even sing. And all this hlppllllCl during the second stanza.

ThIN II a portion ofthe Anthem I have never understood - the passage about the Creator giving himself for the world. Which world? The.. are billions of them. And what is meant by "giving" himself? Why would he need to? Anyway, at this point the throne radiated energy hi billowing waves that pulsed outward over the Stones ofFire and ....ad across the City toward the portals ofspace. "It was," Aldebarah later s~i~, "as H;,!hg Almighty were putting his arn1s around the whole cosmos. I've never seen~~hing like it. We all bowed in homage." , '-.

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THE LUCIFER DIARY

Strange - so strange. What is going on? And why did all this happen while I was absent?

Eon 97, Age 4461.1

Back at my duty station in the Realm ofLight. Been very busy. Tried to find out what I can. No one seems to understand the anthem incident. Meanwhile something else to think about. While serving as Second Attendant at the throne, Aldebaran overheard a conversation in which the Three seemed to be planning another act of creation. Didn't get many details, but heard enough to know something is going to happen.

The last time this occurred, the Three held a private council and then Ruach and Archon went out to the second quadrant of the Outer Ring, and soon (only nine ages later, as I recall) we learned of the creation ofAurelion 24.

What an experience that was! So huge was this new formation that it warped gravitation in that whole quadrant, even distorting the time/space coordinate as far away as the Second Ring. Andrade, one of my senior echelon deputies, was assigned to accompany the creation party, so he watched it all from a distance, and said it was the most awesome thing he had ever witnessed. Archon simply spoke, commanding life and matter to appear, and at that instant Ruach released monstrous levels of energy. Soon space was filled with light and matter, exactly as Archon had directed, and Aurelion 24 went sailing on its way, a glittering pinwheel that spanned more than eighty million light ages of space!

I have to admit that I am obsessed by creation, this wondrous power possessed by the Three. None of us understands it, but there is one thing ofwhich I am almost certain. I believe the source for III this new matter is the energy released by Ruach.

We all know that stars convert small amounts of mltter _ huge quantities of energy, thus lighting the skies uf .plOl. ",.

ponderln. t,h, is for,i'"an ,ages"" ~~v" e ~me to believi that In 0..... the proce•• work~ ", erse - ....fenergy becoml. mlttlr, WOYtI'. "iI"

into wha~ I, ,,' hon ,~ecrees. I think RUlgh I. thl IOUfOI.

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THE LUCIFER DIARY

If! am right, then the Being we call Ruach is awesome. Iftiny amounts of matter can release huge levels of energy, how much energy would it take to make a world? To fill a galaxy? What an incredible Being!

Eon 97, Age 4461.2

I can't get the subject of creation off my mind. Indeed, I am troubled by a question I can't dismiss: ifRuach is the energy source for creation, and if the Archon knows how to control that power, might other intelligent beings learn how to do the same?

After all, his very name implies:creation. Well, we are also created beings. Is he just one ofus, someone who figured out how to harness Ruach' s forces? And, if so, did that force the Mighty One to let him share the throne?

The question both intrigues and frightens me. One moment I am so terrified I vow never to think such thoughts again. A moment later my mind is in ecstasy. Harnessing the power of creation: the idea sweeps over me like the force field from a new-born star. If I, too, could solve the mystery ofcosmos, perhaps I could also gain the throne! As the Assembly sings the Anthem, their homage would shine not just on the Holy Ones, but on mel

Perhaps I was destined for this discovery. Maybe, in time, others can also solve the mystery and Join the Mighty One on the throne. What an idea - a cosmos of th, gods! Nothing would be hidden from us. We could know everythina, and bask in the glory now l1\Jo)'ed by only three!

I baYI never had such a thrilling idel, I think I will never be the same &pin I

Eon 97, Ag, 4462.1

Today the Three held another council. A brilliant azure light enveloped the throne Iike a curtain and blocked both sight and sound, and though I stood as close ~~sible, I could learn nothing.

I might as well admit it, this is beginning to bothq- me. For 97 eons I have stood before this throne and waited while they planned

14

.. THE LUCIFER DIARY

Aurelion 24, and the mighty Serafan Formation, and the vast structure of the Outer Ring. I've watched Archon go into these private councils and leave me behind, and I've never complained. But something about this new creation is different, and it involves the beings who will live there.

Soon after the anthem incident, Aldebaran came to me with a puzzled look on his face.

"I'm not sure I should even bother you with this, Lucifer, but something unusual is going on. The new creation they're planning - you know, Second Quadrant, Outer Ring - "

"¥es," I interrupted impatiently, ''the Empty Sector. What about it?"

"Well, I overheard some more news. At least for now, only one orb in the system will be populated. There will be a new order of beings -lower order than we are, so they won't be angels. In fact, it looks like they'll be confined to their orb - no galactic travel, not even excursions within their own solar system. And - get this - there will be only two of them. Only two, for a whole orb!

"Oh, and I heard the Three say something about creating them 'in our image.' What do you make of it?"

I was too stunned to talk. "Leave me," I commanded, and waved Aldebaran aside.

Ifmy angel friend was puzzled by the strange news, I was not. Suddenly all the pieces fell into place. A new world with only two beings, the term "in our image"- the implications were all-too-clear. Two beings were obviously insufficient to populate a world - that II, un less the Three had decided to give them something no one ha. IVlr had before, the power of bringing new life into being.

In our Image. The Three have the power uf greatlon, ~

being made i~ the.~.i.r(

.. i ' ·\V6.~ ~e~ay. huvo th'lam~'I~1N waN no elcaplrya'''i+,bclusJon. " . •.. , .

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THE LUCIFER DIARY

Has the Almighty been reading my private thoughts, sensing my dream of harnessing Ruach? And is he moving to block my dream by giving creative power to someone else?

For the first time in my existence, I feel a strange new sensation. Joy is draining out of my life. In its place is something cold and frightening, as ifan intruder is taking command ofmy soul.

Eon 97, Age 4461.1

More information! Andrade, my close friend from Echelon 5, has been assigned to the creation party, and he brings more details. As rumored, only one orb will be populated at first, a planet to be called "Earth." It will be lighted by a fairly small sun and joined to a system of void planets, which I expect the Three will use for colonization at some future time. The surrounding galaxy will be of only average size.

The beings there will indeed have the power to replicate themselves, and thus bring more of their own kind into existence. But Andrade says they must act together to produce new life: neither of them can accomplish it alone. So, in effect, they will really be onlyonel

One being, multiple persons, the power to produce life - it's all therel These new beings will, in a way, be an image ofthe Three.

lwonder: does he know how far I have advanced in my search for thlequation ofcosmos? Every spare moment I work on it. Once I WU 10 ablorbed in my calculations I even missed a call from the Thl'Olll.Arohon was there, looking on, and I sensed that he was scann.... ."mlnd. He looked a little sad, but said nothing.

But Ithe lenses that I am nearing a solution of the mystery, can this new or&, with its creator-beings, be his way of blocking my access to the thront'1lfthey were given the mystery before me, then the throne could rapidly fill with his forces, diluting anything I could ever hope to achieve.

" ,,"'-., .,. FOl'the first time in my life, I feel the seiisation ofrage. I think

ofhim and my inner befug boils with pain. I am d~ifting·inescapably, "

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THE LUCIFER DIARY

toward a conclusion that once seemed unthinkable. Perhaps I should challenge the Throne!

I must talk to Andrade.

Eon 97, Age 4463.4

Andrade is a true friend. He, too, is disturbed by the news and has volunteered to search discreetly around his command for others who feel the same. But I must talk to many more, for we need the force of numbers. I will sound out Marconides, commander of the Primary Echelon. Then there is Marcolith, and Zedronn, and Barshok...the list grows rapidly in my mind, and soon I have a dozen bright, influential leaders to whom I can propose a daring gamble: I'll suggest we demand a greater voice in cosmic government.

I have the start of an organization!

Eon 97, Age 4463.9

Brenzar and his subordinate rank commanders came by today, a routine courtesy call on their way to an assignment near Magelon, and I had a chance to sound them out as well. Brenzar and I have never worked closely, but he has often worked with Telzon, and I decided to try an approach I've never used before. I told him something Telzon said recently, but I left out part of the conversation. The effect was to make it seem as ifTelzon were fully committed to my side - which, of course. he isn't. Indeed, he's a mindless loyalist and I think he's going to be a problem for me.

But my ploy worked perfectly! Nobody here has ever heard anything but absolute truth, so Brenzar accepted everything I said, and because of his travel assignment he won't be able to talk to Telzon for at least two ages. That means I have just bought two Byel of hard work for nothing! He will spread my point-of-view al he travels, thus accelerating our plan throughout that whole octant 0' the Second Ring.

, Doing this seem.~~nge ~at.fl\st. I have never before dlfled

the... 00IIft.Ie la.w th..at•. I!*'1ands'l~trutr· Rut then, what I. eN"?"'~.~ n;,n.fIooSll'l it" depend 011' time, Ind plloe, and .. . .

17

THE LUCIFER DIARY

circumstances? And isn't "truth" subordinate to the nobility ofone's goals? I have embarked on a noble quest, to lift all creation to the status of gods. Surely such a dream is more important than a rigid, mindless law.

The AlmIghty will, of course, dispute my reasoning, arguing that truth is absolute. But, come to think of it, that may give me a powerful advantage over him. He says truth is absolute; I argue it is relative. Thus I can fight on territory He can't enter!

Fight...the word sends chills up my back, but I may as well be candid with myself. A battle is beginning. And if! fight, then I must strike without mercy. Hesitation is weakness; weakness is cowardice; cowardice is failure.

I cannot fail.

Eon 97, Age 4465.0

The work goes on. I've talked personally with over half the leading deputies, some ofwhom made it clear they are not interested in my ideas. Benedan, in particular, could be trouble, and I'll have to watch the throne very carefully to see that he does not gain an audience. But the worst is Gabriel. He is an ardent loyalist, and his rank is so high I do not know if 1can stop him. I am worried about him.

But just a moment! Maybe there is a way around the problem: why not try to neutralize his influence? I'll spread rumors about hbn,OIlUng into question hisjudgrnent during the Pleiades matter. 111,""- others to doubt his leadership, no one will care what he thlnUr~·

1;·'

Rel~,Truth shaped by situations and circumstances. It is an awesome '-ovation even the Almiahty may not be able to overcome.

Eon 97, Age 4470.0

Things could not be joihg bett~e-talkedto over halfthe echelon and brigade leMirs - influential officets,_~ith millions of subordinates under their commands - and huge numb~s hayejoined

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THE LUCIFER DIARY

me. Now, when I call the Assembly to order at the throne, I see friendly faces scattered everywhere throughout the ranks, and we exchange knowing glances, for our revolution is gaining momentum. I nod discreetly at some of them now, as I stand just in front of the throne and raise my hand, summoning the Assembly to order.

But wait: instead of looking at me they are staring in bewilderment at the throne!

Turning to see what has happened, I find that EI Shaddai has taken personal command. He is standing!

There is a sudden hush, more powerful than the impact from an exploding star. Roiling with embarrassment, I awkwardly step down into the ranks, joining the brigade leaders in the Primary Echelon. Marconides takes a self-conscious step backward, as if to suggest that I replace him in front ofthe Echelon's command honor guard. I wave him back, and slink into the ranks of the First Deputies. They avert their eyes.

EI Shaddai begins to speak. His voice rolls like thunder across the Stones of Fire, and the floor blazes with a deep azure light, and his words go right through my soul.

"I love you all," he begins, "more than you can ever know. Since the morning ofcreation I have dreaded this moment, but I have always known that it would come."

He pauses, and the silence is dreadfu I. I steal a quick glance to the left and see Beldizon, his body tense, his face racked with a strange anxiety I have never seen before. Everyone is quiet, even the Flying Ones far above us, who wait in silence, their faces and feet covered by shining wings. The Almighty continues speaking.

"In the beginning, before Icrafted a single life, I had a dec iNion to make: should I give you freedom or should I control your will.? The latter would have guaranteed your obedience, but it would havi robbed you ofthe most preciou.s. g.....ii .caan give you. libort)', It would...flJRft.

also have robbed Jlfrot'tqer"'l'rt(cious ~i n )IOU Oln IIYI, lpontaneous 10)le. :."'i....' . ., ,

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THE LUCIFER DIARY

"So I gave you liberty, knowing that somewhere in the distant future it could be misused."

Marconides is in obvious pain. His neck seems tied in hideous knots and hisjaw is working nervously, and Zedronn, three echelons back, is little better off. It takes no gift ofgenius to see where all this is headed: J've been discovered!

"Now," he continues, "listen to a parable. Once, in a distant quadrant of the cosmos, there was a galaxy of wondrous size: its suns could be seen for a billion light ages, and its presence held the whole quadrant together, for its gravitation was very great. But it rebelled, and loosed off on a course of its own, headed for distant space.

"I shall pose a question: what was the result?"

He pauses while his words reverberate across the assembly ground, and he waits, as if expecting an answer.

Well, the answer is obvious. Even the mostjunior angels in the 10th echelon can see it: an out-of-control galaxy of monster size, departing its assigned route - its gravitational pull would drag half the quadrant with it. And what then? Sooner or later there would be ••1II110n that would shatter the universe.

fl,* He never does answer the question. He lets us answer it in our *1ItId1, and the implications are uncomfortably clear. A rogue ~ areat influence, dragging others with it into a path of

hll.lk."" describing me.

:' "~Ist"b with dread, for the acculation from the throne, '.', but It" , ," , e. Instead, he directs our aaze to the river of light that rippt' " ' " our feet. It is a new color we have never seen in the Stones ~- • deep, glowing green, bright as the fabled mountains ofAJIIen, • planet whose climate is locked in perpetual spring.

"The color you ... repte~l1ts a ~ gift for you. Green is a mixture of blue and &Id,just ~mY'gift ilia. blend of two great truths. I will speak fi~fCMthe colors, and what theYbvpr.~.sent.

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20

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THE LUCIFER DIARY

"Blue represents mycosmic law. It holds the universe together. Without law, nothing would be safe."

The vast assembly nods mutely. Without law, the ring systems and their galaxies would collide, and the whole cosmos would be in danger. Everyone knows that - especially those of us who have crossed the axial junction ofthe Inner Ring, where force fields from the huge Regina formation all intersect. I never go there without being dumbfounded by their complexity and awed at the perfection of a law that can keep such powerful forces in order.

Suddenly Ruach probes my soul, and I can barely endure it. What have I done? Have my dreams led me to spurn a law I have always loved? How could I have been so blind as to think that good can come from a violation oftruth? The Eternal One looks briefly at me, his eyes filled with a strange longing, and then he continues.

"Now I shall speak of the second component of green, the color gold. It, too, represents something. Long ago, when the universe began, I saw this day coming. I knew that some of you would make a mistake, but I couldn't bear to give you up. For that reason I crafted something called mercy. It is represented by the color gold. And this color, blended with the blue of law, produces the azure light I have sent through the Stones of Fire. I have found a way to join law and mercy."

Mercy. The term is strange. We have never heard it before, and he explains it further. It is, he says, a way back. Someone who errs can, if he wishes, find restoration.

At this point Ruach searches my soul again, with such intensity that I almost sink to my knees. Green. Law and mercy. Justice and forgiveness. A way hack from the brink. So I have not come too far - not yet?

I am overwhelmed with the desire to step forward and ask for this Sift he calls mercy, this azure blending of law and forgivene•• that would let me go .b.ac~...~gain. F~ng moments Ruach 101m. tQ draw m. with a for._ as if ht would. If".t'hans.,alIfiost pli).;sical ­allowed. carry ml.e throne. But he canno,. I aluno can makt thl•

•• c, ~

~,''''')'' ~, \ 21

THE LUCIFER DIARY

decision.

For an instant my being tenses and I almost move. But...

...but a thought sweeps over me. If! reverse myself now, what will happen to my high position? Even ifhe took me back, I'd almost certainly lose my station at the throne, and would probably have to join the winged messengers who run errands around the outer empire. I couldn't face that.

Then, too, what about the mysterious being known as the Son? The question remains: is he really one ofthe Three, or, as I have told myself, is he a created being who found a way to claim the throne? Could I ever accept him as King?

At this moment, as if reading my mind, EI Shaddai calls him to the throne.

"He is a part of myself. He.... is...holy...." The words roll outward across the expanse of fiery crystal, and then the Almighty issues a command:

"Let all the assembly ofang,'s wor.'ihip Him. "

Something unbelievable happenl. Th.y have never sung before unless I directed them. But suddenly and spontaneously the Assembly breaks into the anthem.

"Unto Him that sits enthroned'" 'lflii" - the words fill the huae place and reverberate offthe waUI'of,tM City. Far above us the Flyln. Ones sound the antiphonal chOftllJ.oly, Holy, Holy, "and

my louljult melts. Why have I questl~..... ,'. '.. ' '.' '1 Why have I played ....,these uMlI'Yln. aames with truth? It II .' . UI that he knows what I have done. Why, then, does he give ". lecond chance?

For the third time I feel that quiet "-fowerful call that almost pulls me to the threIlt.l nearly go. But~uestion holds me back: what will they all t~?;.~i

I have comm~,ange••. early a hundred eons. ! Untold billions have c... ' ..... ' . and g... ~int '.. . tiO.n. How can I tell them all that I was w '" 'And doetn"t • ha\r, ~o be loyal, first

~~I ~' t\';. "...''·".il." ~ ~ '\ ; l~i

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THE LUCIFER DIARY

and foremost, to one's own mind? Why must 1 surrender my dream to anyone?

Slowly the moment passes, and 1 feel Ruach leave me. 1 no longer have the desire to confess anything. And then 1feel something elseI've never experienced before-raw, naked fear. I've challenged the mystery of cosmos and set my dream on the highest star, and now 1feel as ifI've embarked on a strangejourney from which there is no return.

1am alone.

Eon 97, Age 4472

Alone. The word plagues me every moment. Hordes of my followers desert me and go back to the Assembly. No longer do 1go to the throne. 1 drift about the outer edge of the Stones of Fire, searching for familiar faces and seeing pity and withdrawal in many.

Whatever am 1 to do? 1 have gone too far. Even the cosmic mystery evades me. For a time 1 thought I could actually integrate the entire equation of cosmos, but when 1 took it to the fortieth power often it suddenly went blank 1was approaching infinity, and my mind simply couldn't travel further.

Too far - I have gone too far.

Eon 97, Age 4472.1

But have I? An exciting thought just came to mind. Maybe he has a weak point, this gift of liberty he so praises. What if he were challenged with force? Force can only be repelled by force ­something he has said he cannot use. Ifhe thus limits himself, what is to keep me from physically seizing the throne?

Thrilled with the excitement of this new idea, I set to work. r will assemble an anny and attack him! And to stop deserter!! from leaving my ranks, 1concoct another ploy: I will tell them that merc)' is an illusion -thatthey, like me, have gone too far to turn baok.and their only hope of surviyW,is to s~(hq,d fight!

('.,~'~, !'", ...,

23

THE LUCIFER DIARY

Eon 97, Age 4472.2

My scheme is working! I will never forget the look of terror I saw in the faces ofthe first group when I proposed my syllogism:

The law is absolute. We have broken the law. Therefore we are judged absolutely by it.

Mercy is an illusion. The green we saw was an illusion. There is no going back. Now our choice is very simple: we can either make a fight of it or face destruction. Fight or surrender. Live or die.

Shaken with fear, they flock back to my command by the billions - about one-third of the whole cosmic army. Now I have a force with which to fight.

This is war.

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