A Couple of Floppy SolutionsPlus America's Most Greative Crosswords

By the Nation's Top Gonstructors

flrances Hansen entered the crosswordff.r"n" in a BIG way nearly 30 yearsL ago when she created a Sunday size

(23 x 23) crossword, typed it on customprinted oversized paper, packed it in a largeenvelope, and mailed it to New YorkTimeseditor Margaret Farrar.

Not knowing any of the crossword-sub-mittingrules, Hansen tlought this wouldbean appropriate way to gain Farrar's atten-tion. She was right; the p:uzzle couldn'tpossibly be ignored as it covered Farrar'sentire desk and spilled over onto the floor.

Unfortunately, the oversized paper wasmerely Hansen's smallest submission error.She had been solving crosswords for only ayear at this time and "had this crazy ideathat constructing had to be easier becauseyou knew all the answers beforehand."

"I made every mislake in the book," sherecalls. "I used two-letter words and had avery high word count." Hansen now admitsthat she had never "heard of a word count(the maximum number of words permittedin the grid). I did know rhough that thepuzzle had to be symmetrical."

Farrar rejected the puzzle, sent Hansena two-page sheet of puzzle-constructingrules, and encouraged her to rework thegdd. If she followed these rules, Farrarpromised tolook at thepuzzleagain. Hansenwas sufficiently encouraged to accept thechallenge and had the unenviable task offixing the puzzle. In retrospect she says, "Ishould have started over from scratch; in-stead I cut and pasted and reworked thepuzzle."

The energy expended was worth it forFarrar published "Ykcowrebbaj" in Janu-uy 96a. Solvers had to look at crosswordsin a new direction when they answered theclue, "Well-known part of ' Ykcowrebbaj "'by writing in the grid backwards:

"ebarg tuo shtar emom eht dna"Always facile with words, Hansen had

honed her skills by reading voraciously asa child and in her adult years by playingScrabble and creating light verse, whichshe sold to Cosmopolitan and GoodH o use ke e pin g magazines.

Most of Hansen's adult friends were

avid solvers, addicted to the crossword inthe Sunday Times.Intent on filling in everyblank spot in the grid by early afternoon,"they would telephone each other furiouslySunday mornings until they all completedthe puzzle."

Hansen couldn't understand her friends'obsession with crosswords; nor had she thetime to solve on Sunday morning becauseshewasbusy teaching Sunday school. Whenshe"retired" af.ter al2-year stintshe joinedher friends in their crossword pursuis. Ayear later she sent that first puzzle to Farrar.

Mary had a little lambShe said it gave her griefIf she had had a little hamWould Mary have a beefr

After her puzzle debuted flansen sentFarrar a puzzle that would become hertrademark. It was based on her originalpoetry and simply titled, "Limerick":

"Sald W. Somerset Maugham'I shall visit the lsland of Guam.,If I find lt ls hot,I shall leave on the spot.I detest feellng overly waugham."

Farrar was reluctant to use the p:uzzlebecause she had never published a cross-wordbased on original verse (many puzzleshad been based on quoted verse) and sheneeded convincing that Flansen had createdthe limerick. When Hansen sent copies ofher published verse from the women'smagazines, Farrar accepted the puzzle andpaved the way for what would becomeHansen's trademark---original limericks incrosswords.

Over the years Flansen developed anotherspeciality-rebus puzzles, where a familiarsymbol is substituted for an answer word.She has constructed puzzles using musicalsymbols (Becky#); blant

Hansen (from Page 5)Now a 72-year-old widow, with grown

sons and preteen grandchildren, Hansen,slife revolves around puzzles, exercise, mu_sic, family, and friends. Her daily routinestarts with breakfast and The New yorkTimes datly crossword. ..I solve theTimespuzzle every morning with my second cupof coffee; that's part of my waking uiprocess. It's a good way to get myself intoa working frame of mind because I'mthinking words at that point.,'

llansen then retreats to her office on thefirst floor of her home in Metuchen, NewJersey. The l2-by - l2bookcase_lined roomis filled to the brim with reference booksand file cabinets. Formerly dubbed ..thelorture chamber," Hansen has rechristenedthe room "the escape hatch.', She works forseveral hours at a time on her commissionedwork.

Her extensive references include twocomplete encyclopedia sets, at least l0 un_abridged dictionaries, including all l3 vol_umes of the Oxford English Dictionary,Benet's Reader' s Encyclopedia,six booksof quotes, and references on films, comics,songs, sports, literary characlers, etc.Hansen admits to being.,hopeless in sports,,,but tries to include them in her work. Herfavorite reference is .,The Almanac of Fa_mous People," which gives informationabout famous folks from all areas_film.theater, politics, music, etc. Hansen finds ii"comprehensive

and handy.',Claiming to get herinspiration from,,the

idea fairy," Hansen first thinks of a theme

and then concentrates on amassing all thewords, sentences, and phrases she can findto fit the theme. ,,I look in books and I thinkabout the tleme." She concentrates on get-tingpairs of entries of the same length, ig.,two l0-letter phrases at a time, for symmi_try.

She places the entry themes into the gridand then diagrams around them. Her favor_ite part is the construction of the puzzleitself. She tries not to repeat definitions.but. will write down favorite clues if shefeels they bearrepeating. Ifshe's stuck in acorner during the construction phase, she'drather use familiar words than try to useterms that the solver can't possibly know.Her goal is to "have the solver finish thepluzzle. If the solver can't complete thepluzzle, the constructor has failed."

Hansen works steadily for four to fivehours and really enjoys constructing. ..Ialmost think I'd rather be working thandoing anything else.', She takes a breakaround mid-afternoon when she headsoutside for a long walk. ..I usually have adestination-the post office, library , grocerystore, etc., and if I don't I'll walk for awhile."

Work continues in the evening. ..At nightif I'm home alone and warcning iV t'tt titemy work in with me. I can't just look at TV.If the program is good I'll watch TV; if it,smediocre I'll probably get more interestedin what's on my lap."

Hansen'sroutine varies when she attendsexercise classes at the local yMCA in themorning. She then defers puzzling until theafternoons but her "preferred working time

is the morning."Several times a month Hansen journeys

into Manhattan to attend operas unO.turri_cal concerts. Although Hansen is extremelvknowledgeable in classical music. shldoesn't bombard solvers with obscuremusical references. ..If I can use an aria thatI know instead of an overworked entry I,lluse it, but I don,t go out of the way to usearias."

Many of her puzzles are based on heroriginal five-line limericks or four_lineverses (see samples on page 9). Hansen firstcreates a verse composed of 2 I or 23 lettersin each line. She has to be careful also tokeep the beat. "sometimes you have torelinquish a much more apt word just be_cause it won't fit."

Although the majority of her verse con_forms to the 2l-letter limit, some editorshave allowed her to break words in unusualplaces. Unsuspecting solvers might be con_fused when they complete a lineln the gridand see an unfinished word as they did in"With Malice Toward None":

ATOI.ERJA}TNNNOFTABRT ZE.OUNDSE\ERAI.ELIESONHTSCXIEESEWIIEI|ToI.DIE!4USTS:I{ATHEsAT DNOTfl IIINTUIEY?REI{EL@METOEATIiITATNIEYPI.EJASE

Ilansen has lived in Metuchen almost allof her life; her family moved there whenshe was two years old. She met her husband_to-be when she was 16, but her parentspacked her off to her mother's family in theSouth when she was lg to make her debut

(Continued on page 9)

THEMES AND CLUES FROM THE HANSEN FILE"Into the Woods" - an example of what Hansen calls an | ..Bunyen,splckrxcutout?,, ...,mnd(.rno^,nll,.3{"'n"ouzzlewhichshederinesas"""6p;;;;l;;;;; | ,,il;::::ilfil;::'= ff;l#;,T;*,

"How the tree grew greenertt ..He opened another brench,"VYhy the tree'swlfe berked" ..Shecalled lta shedy deat,,"How the tree's wlfe wes uprmtedrt ..She started to pack her trunk,"I{ow the tree kept her plantedr, ..Crooned don,t evr leafme,,"How they burled the hatchet" ..she sald baby take e bough'"Quiptic Comments":"Any compllment from 8rlch?" ..A pleasant Remarque,,"Why we missed Mark's arrlval?" .iDldn,t meet the Twaln,('Poet John's last words?" ..What ls done is Donnel"Bunyanesque"

- an example of a theme carried to ..exFemes,,:

"On The Links" was ostensibly a golf puzzle, but had nothingto do with tlwt game.Rather, the;.gine',-wlls to find words thatfollowed the clue words:

"Malapropisms"

"X.rated fllm?""Advlce to the uptight?"'rDon Julnts concern?tt

"6 over?t,,aPr,r 4?rt"4 under?r,"4 down?"

and a "trap" at 3-Down:tt5 uPTt

* Hinc to be read backward

"Phonographlc movls',

"Sit back and relapse','"The erroneous zones"

"Bunyan's san{}9altt"Bunyan's lce culslrt'Eunyan's daily constltutional?rt

's barbecue plt?',

"The Palnted Desert"ttMulr Glaclertt"Oregon Trall,t..Jackson Holert

"Lookworkprsslapdoturn tt"Avanctevionval

ueterrdt"Stetem Inegraduatehandrt"Pourrlghttroddenstage',

'dTooretadtsecraordlarbr'*

CROSSW RD Page 7

Hansen (from PageT)and spend a year with relatives. (Hansenwas presented to society via a series ofparties, dances, and social events. "It was ahigh spotofmylife," recalls Hansen.) Whenshe returned, her future husband @rnestHansen) proposed; however, her fatherwouldn't let them marry until Ernie wasearning at least $50 a week. That goal wasreached when Hansen was 21.

The couple had two sons and Hansenplayed the role ofa typical suburban house-wife-caring for her home and childrenand furthering her husband's career (hebecame a bank president). During thosedays her main outlet for intellectual pursuitsconsisted of afternoon rounds of Scrabblewith two close friends. "Our children wentto the local elementary school, just twoblocks away and came home for lunch ev-ery day. As soon as they returned to schoolwe got together at one of our houses andplayed furious gamos of Scrabble. Wewere ruthless in our pursuit of filling in thegrid and amassing the most points.,,Knowing that they had only two hours topursue this hobby made the friends ultra-competitive, and they dubbed their game"killer Scrabble."

No one in Hansen's immediate familvshares her love of crosswords. tter htlhusband "wouldn't do the crosswords inthe newspaper because answers weren,tthere. However, he did solve puzzles inbooks because they had the answers inback."

Hansen, aware that her husband wouldlook up the answers, always pretended nottonotice. When Ernie was solving she wouldclear her throat and stamp her feet to warnhim of her impending entrance into a room;that would give him time to turn the pagesback so she wouldn't catch him looking atthe answers. "I didn't care how much helooked at the answers," recalls Hansen. Hersons don't solve puzzles either. ..It,s nottheir thing."

.

Like most people in the .,biz," Hansenhas two sets of friends-those who createcrosswords and those involved in otherpursuits. Her local friends consist mainly ofa tight-knit group of widows who socializefrequently. "If one of us wants to go to themovies we call up another and say .roundup the usual suspects' and we all go to-gether."

Hansen visits often with her crosswordfriends, especially former Ti mes editor WillWeng. She's one of a dozen consructors

and editors who meet regularly for lunch ata Manhattan restaurant to socialize and talkshop. The luncheons started about 25 yearsago when an avid solver, aMr. Morgan (hisfirst name has been forgotten), nrade lunchdates with MargaretFarrar, WillWeng, andthe Hansens simultaneously. "He called meand told me he was having lunch withMargaret and Will; then he called Margaretand told her he was having lunch with Willand me and could we join him? We allagreed, not knowing, of course, that theothers hadn't agreed. "

into a doze and crashed through the paperinto Crosswordland." He "recognized itimmediately, for admis were grazing undera dhava and an ai hung from a tondo in oneof the salas." He encountered familiarcrossword deni2sn5-"[ya (Miss Gardner),Evita (_ Peron), and Monk (IazzmanThelonius)...who were ired (angry) aboutbeing trite (overworked)." Baker continuedin this manner and managed to includemore than 60 items of Crosswordese intothe piece.

When Hansen wrote to compliment him

HANSEN VERSEA defiant old maid, pray lorgive herRemarked with a bit of a quiver"Tonight I shallsmokeAnd drink till I chokeAnd nuts to my lungs and my liver,,

Tom Thumb was highty paidBut here's the grim reportDespite the dough he madePoor Tom was always short

An aesthetic otd man of DuluthWent to live in a telephone boothOne day feeling hotHe abandoned the spot'To perspire," he remarked, ,ls urmuth.,'

Two ANTA owls sat in a lreeThe she owlsaid, "We're on TV""Aha!" the owl said, ashoot"l get a grand to give a hoot."

An uxorious man was so lightHe was canied away by a kiteHe flew over the cityCrying, "Lord, what a pity,lwon't see my missus tonight!',

Mary had a litile tambShe said it gave her grieflf she had had a litile hamWould Mary have a beef?

An unladylike lass of MontanaWas seen in a dirty bandanaWhen they hollered "Unclean!,'She said something obsceneAnd lelt in a huff for Havana

The door is wide openWhile you pratile onYou say you are goingWillyou ever be gone?

Some Persians flew into a petWith some people named Medes

whom lhey met;What the fuss was aboutOr how it turned outI really can't say; I forget

Her smile might be bolderAnd long since torgottenlf she hadn't been totd herBicuspids looked rotten

Hansen met Margaret Farrar and WillWeng through this first luncheon ruse. Andit became the start of a monthly routine thatcontinues today. At first, the lunches wereattended only by Farrar, Weng, and theHansens. Later, other editors and construc-tors joined. The group formerly met at theCafe de France, but now lunches at anotherrestaurant on the west side of Manhattan. Acore of 15 people attend regularly.

One of Hansen's most memorable cross-word experiences occurred when herpuzzleserved as the inspiration for humorist RussellBaker 's classic "Crashing IntoCrosswordland" column of January 19,1975. Baker, thwarted in his efforts to"determine

whether Dr. Dolittle's duck wasnamed Dabbab, Dabnab or Dabrab...fell

on the column he sent her the originalillustration that accompanied the article.She had it framedand ithas aplace of honorin her hallway.

llansen estimates that she has sold severalthousandpuzzles in her career, and while notbecoming rich from her eamings (,,as far astime goes you're very poorly paid"), she'sused her crossword money to buy henelfluxuries she normally wouldn't have had.

Self-effacing and modest about herachievements, Hansen is in the busines be-causeshe loves what she does...Ireally hate tobe sensible about anything. All I want to do ishave fun with crosswords." tr

HELENE HOVANEC is editor and pub-lisher of Kids, Puzzle Express.

July/August 1992 CROSSW RD Page 9