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D'Alfarache,ortheSpanishRogue,byAlain-RenéLeSage

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Title:ThelifeandadventuresofGuzmanD'Alfarache,ortheSpanishRoguevol.2/3

Author:Alain-RenéLeSage

Translator:JohnHenryBrady

ReleaseDate:August30,2016[EBook#52938]

Language:English

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Chap.XIII.,XIV.,XV.,XVI.,XVII.,XVIII.,XIX.,XX.,XXI.,XXII.,XXIII.,XXIV.,XXV.,XXVI.,XXVII.,XXVIII.,XXIX.,XXX.,XXXI.,

XXXII.,XXXIII.,XXXIV.,XXXV.

THELIFEANDADVENTURES

OF

GUZMAND’ALFARACHE,OR

THESPANISHROGUE.

———TRANSLATEDFROMTHEFRENCHEDITIONOF

MONS.LESAGE.———

BYJOHNHENRYBRADY.———

SECONDEDITION,CORRECTEDANDCONSIDERABLYIMPROVED.

———INTHREEVOLUMES.

VOL.II.———

LONDON:PRINTEDFORLONGMAN,HURST,REES,ORME,BROWN,ANDGREEN,PATERNOSTER-ROW.

—1823.

London:PrintedbyJ.NicholsandSon,25,Parliament-street.

THE

LIFEOF

GUZMAND’ALFARACHE.

CHAP.XIII.

FromtheserviceoftheCook,GuzmanreturnstotheBeggingTrade,androbsanApothecary.

WISDOMisbetterthanriches,sinceFortuneisbutaficklegoddess,whobereavesusonedayofwhatshehasbestowedonusthepreceding.Duringthecourseofour lives shemakesus resemblecomedians,whohaveeverydaynewparts tostudy, and must appear in different characters.Who could have thought that,afterhavingservedthecooksofaithfully,hewouldhaveturnedmeoutofdoorsforsotriflinganoffence?Itistrue,thatthustheworldwags,andthatpersonsofmuchgreaterconsequencethanmyselfareconstantlytreatedinthesamemannerby the great upon the most trivial occasion, after having rendered them athousandservices.

Stop, Guzman, cry you, or you will lose yourself in moral reflections.Whitherwill thislearneddiscourseleadyou?Tomybasketagain,replyI;yes,my friend, to my basket, which, having now become to me as useful aseloquencewastoDemosthenes,orstratagemstoUlysses,consoledmeundermypresent misfortune. Longmay the basket-trade flourish, which aman, havingonce tried, will never fail to resume. I must candidly confess that when Ireturned to it Iwasmuch in thesameconditionaswhenIwas foolenough toleaveit;foralltheproduceofmyformerknaveries,duringthetimeIhadbeenscullion,hadgoneaslightlyasitcame,and,withtheexceptionofafinersuitofclothes,Iwasnobetteroffthanbefore.

Thatmyreturningtomyoldemployment,however,mightnotbeattributedtomy indolent and discontented disposition, I determined, before I purchased anewbasket, to offermy services to some cooks ofmymaster’s acquaintance,who knewme. If they had receivedme, itwasmy intention to have renderedmyself thoroughlyknowing inkitchenaffairs, inwhich Ihadalreadymadesogood a beginning, and forwhich Imight boast amost happy disposition; buttheyhadheardofmy inclination forgaming,and thatnothingwassafewithinmy reach when I wanted money: and thus, finding there was no chance ofobtaining another situation of this description, Iwas compelled to resumemyformer occupation. I therefore took upmy basket again; and though I did notfare so well among my comrades as at the hotel from which I had beendismissed,yetIwasoncemoreindependent,andcompletelymasterofmyownactions. Being naturally sober, this sort of life was more adapted to my

inclinationsthantheother,sothatIhadbutlittlereasontoregretleavingahouseinwhichIwasledintoathousandintemperances.

We basket-bearers had a small row of houses, or rather hovels, near themarket,whichwehadboughtatourownexpense.Hereitwasthatweusuallyregaledourselves, andheldourmerrymeetings. I alwaysgotupwith the sun,andwas readyateverybody’scall,bywhichmeans Inever failed tosecureaprofitable day’s work from such of the citizens as kept no servants, whoemployed me to carry home the provisions they purchased; and the faithfulmanner inwhich Iperformed their commissions soonestablishedmycredit intheseveralmarkets.

About this timecommissionswereissuedto thedifferentregiments toraisenewlevies.Whenanythingofthisnaturehappens,thereportsoongetsabroad,thepeopleassemble ineverydirection todiscuss the subject, anda councilofstateisheldinalmosteveryhouse.Inours,asyoumayimagine,wecanvassedthedesignsoftheCourtasfreelyasthebestofthem,andhadsomepoliticiansamonguswhoseconjectureswerenotveryfarfromthetruth.Goodsenseistobefoundineverycondition.Whenwewereallassembledatnighteachreportedwhathehadheardorseenduringthedayintheprincipalfamiliesinthecity,andwe formed our opinions accordingly; and I can assure you, that though someamongusreasonedabsurdly,yettherewereothers,thesolidityandgoodsenseofwhoseargumentswerefullyjustifiedbytheoccurrenceofeventswhichtheypredicted. Iwell remember that, among others, our fraternity could boast of acertainbeggarwithwoodenlegs,whoneverlefthispostonabridgewherehebeggedthewholeoftheday,whoseacquaintancewithstateaffairswouldhaveastonishedaprimeminister.Weconcludedthenthatthesenewleviesthatweremaking,thedestinationof

whichwasconcealed,mustbeintendedforItaly;andthis,youwillsee,provedtobe true.The first time Iheard these troopsmentioned theybrought intomymindmyintendedjourneytoGenoa,andmadesuchanimpressiononmyspiritsthatIdidnotsleepawinkthewholenight.Ifeltmoreanxiousthanevertoseemy relations, from whom I did not doubt I should obtain a brilliant fortune,every body telling me that they were exceedingly rich, and many of themwithoutchildren;whichlatter,Iconsidered,wouldbecharmedtohaveanheirofsogreatmerit asmyself.To these flattering expectations, however, unpleasantideas soon succeeded. “How,” thought I, “can I have the insolence to appearbeforethesenobleGenoesesinthismiserabledress?andthoughItellthemIamtheirkinsman,aretheylikelytocreditmyassertions?Ihopetheymaybesimpleenoughtobelieveme;butIfeartheycannotfailtotreatmelikearogueandan

impostor,ifonlytosupportthehonourofthefamily.PerhapsImaynotescapeeven so well as this; for my father, who was thoroughly acquainted with thedispositionsofhiscountrymen,hasoftensaidthataGenoeseisnottobetrustedinanycasewherehisinterestorreputationisconcerned.Still,”thoughtI,“theymaybehonest likemy father; and I ampersuaded that theywill entertain toogreatarespectforthememoryoftheirdeceasedrelative,torefusetoassistmeinmypresentdistressingsituation.Theyaretooprudenttoventuretotreatmeasanimpostorbeforetheyhaveinterrogatedmeastoourfamilyaffairs;andinthisrespectIshallbewellabletoanswer,forIcantellthemsuchparticularsasnonebut my father’s son could possibly be acquainted with, and which, being notpropertobemadepublic,theywillundoubtedlybeobligedtodosomethingformethatImaynotdivulgethem.”

Thus Iwaveredbetwixthopeand fear.Sometimes I thought that I flatteredmyselftoomuch,andatothertimesthatIdespondedwithoutreason.Ipausedatthelatterreflection,whichwasthemoreconsolatoryof thetwo,andhopingtofulfil the proverb, which says, “he that wishes to be Pope, need only fancyhimselfone,”IresolvedtoavailmyselfofthefavorableopportunitywhichnowpresenteditselfofgettingintoItaly,byjoiningtheleviesthatwereraising.Oneday,asIwassittingatmyusualpost,reflectingonthepleasuresIshouldenjoyatGenoa,myagreeablereveriewasdisturbedbysomeonewhocalledmetwoorthree times. I turned round toseewho itcouldbe thatwassowellacquaintedwith my name, and perceived that it was an old Apothecary who had oftenemployedmebefore.Hebeckonedmetocometohim,andIranimmediately;but two of my companions, who were nearer to him, got before me, andproffered their services before I came up.He however repulsed them sharply,saying,“no,no;getyougone,birdsofprey;thisisnotamorselforyou,butformy faithful Guzman.” He little thought he spoke so truly. Then addressinghimselftome,whohadjustcomeup,“openthybasket,”addedhe,andhethrewintoitthreebagsofmoney,whichhehadwithhimwrappedinthecornerofhiscloak.“TowhatbraziermustIcarryallthiscopper?”quothIwithasmile.“Thiscopper!”answeredtheApothecary,laughingoutright;“here’saprettyrogueofabeggar,thattakessilverforcopper.Come,marchon,”continuedhe,“forIaminhaste;Ihaveengagedtopayaforeignmerchantthismoneyto-day,whohassoldmesomedrugs.”

Thismighthavebeenhisintention;butIhadformedanothertodefeatittheinstantIheardthosecharmingwords,openthybasket.Thenewsofthebirthofanonlysoncauses less joy toa tenderparent thanI feltat thosesweetwords,whichengravedthemselvesonmyheart,ifImaysoexpressit,inlettersofgold.

IlookedonthesethreebagsasapresentsentmefromHeaven,toenablemetosupportthepartIhadtoperformatGenoa,andconcludedthemalreadymyown.Asmymanhadnottheslightestsuspicionofme,beingalreadywellconvinced,as he conceived, of my honesty, he walked before, and I followed him,pretending now and then that I was obliged to rest myself a little, as if myburthenweretoogreat,although,intruth,Icouldhavewisheditmuchheavier.Ineverwassoanxioustomeetacrowdofpeopleasonthisoccasion,orevenasly turningbywhich I could suddenly disappear frommyunsuspecting friendtheApothecary.Wechanced,however,shortlytopassahousewithwhichIwaswellacquainted,thefrontandbackdoorsofwhichstoodmostinvitinglyopen.Icouldnotallowthisopportunitytoescapeme,butenteredinstantly,andpassedthrough thehousewithoutmeetingwith any interruption; and in less than twominuteshadgotthroughtwoorthreestreetsasthoughIhadwingstomyfeet.Ithen resumed my usual pace, to avoid suspicion, being far enough from myApothecary,andwalkedonasdemurelyasthoughnothinghadhappened.

InthismannerIsoonarrivedatthegatedelaVega, that is tosay, theopencountry, whence, with the same grave countenance I gained the bank of theMançanares; then crossingover toCasadelCampo, I travelled agood leaguethrough woods and thickets, and, as night approached, stopped among somepoplarsveryneartotheriver,whereIbegantoconsiderhowIshouldproceed.“It isnotenough,”saidI,“tohavebegunsowell, Imustcontinueinthesamemanner.OfwhatusewillthisprizebetomeifIcannottakecareofitnowthatIhave got it? If I should happen to be nabbed, I shall not only be obliged torefund,butmay losebothmyears towit; letme, therefore, lookout for someplacewhereImaydepositmymoneyinsafety.”

AfterhavinglookedaboutforsometimeImadeaholeabouttwofeetdeepatthebottomoftheriver,andletdownmybasketandbagsofmoneyintoit.Thencoveringthemwithlargestones,topreventthemfromfloating,Isetupastakeinthesandnearthespot,thatImightbesureofrecollectingwheremydarlingtreasurelayconcealed.AfterthisgrandoperationIwenttosleepatthefootofatreehardby,whereIpassedthenight,notaltogetherfreefromanxiety, thoughperfectlywellsatisfiedwiththereflectionthatIwasnowsowelloff.Whenday-light appeared, I hidmyself in a thicket until itwasdark again,whenhunger,whichdrivesthewolffromthewood,obligedmetoleavemyhauntstogoandpurchasesomeprovisions,notateitherofthevillagesintheenvirons,where,inall probability, the Apothecary would have sent the alguazils after me, but atMadrid itself, where I could be best concealed. Having a little money in mypocket,independentofmyhoard,Iventuredintothetown,whenceIreturnedin

aboutthreehourswithahampercontainingprovisionssufficientforeightdays,andspentthegreaterpartofthenightincrammingmyselfwiththisgoodcheer.

WhenIawokethenextmorning,Ifeltmostcurioustoexaminethecontentsofthethreebags.InvaindidIreflectthatitmustbetheDevilthattemptedme,and that I could not satisfy my curiosity without running the risk of beingobserved.Icouldnothelpyieldingtothisgratification,whichwascertainlythesincerestIhadeverfeltinmylife.Iadvancedtothesideoftheriver,andafterhavinglookedonallsidestoseeifanybodywasnear,Idrewmybasketoutofthewater, andcarried it,drippingwithwetas itwas, intomyplaceof retreat.Here I openedmy bags, and found about two thousand five hundred reals inthem, all in silver, with the exception of thirty pistoles in gold, which Idiscoveredcarefullywrappedupinoneofthebags.Ispentthewholeofthisdaywiththesincerestpleasureincountingmypiecesoverandoveragain;andwhennightcameon,Iputthewholeintothebasketagain,andsecuredthemintheirformerhiding-place.

Asit isnotmyintention,however, topretendtoentertainmyreaderwithajournal, Ineedonlyadd, that, afterhavingconcealedmyself in thismanner inthewoodforafullfortnight,IconsideredthatIhadnolongeranythingtofear,andthatallthehoundsofJusticehadbythistimesocompletelylostscentofmeas to have given over their pursuit. I fished up my treasure again, which Idepositedatthebottomofmyhamper,undersomefreshprovisionswhichIhadbeenagaintoMadridtoprocure.Astomybasket,Ileftthatinthewaterwiththestonesupon it. I thencutme twogoodsticks,one tocarrymyburthenonmyback,andtheotherImadeintoasortofpilgrim’sstaff;afterwhich,likeanewpilgrim, I took my route towards Toledo across the fields, thinking it moreprudenttoavoidthehighroads.

CHAP.XIV.

GuzmaninhiswaytoToledomeetswithayoungman:whatpassedbetweenthem.

I TRIPPED along so briskly, that after two nights trudge, I foundmyself in themidstoftheSagra,nearawoodcalledAçuqueyca,withinabouttwoleaguesofToledo.Ienteredthiswood, intendingtorest therethewholeof theday, thatImightnotenter theCitytillnight.Isatdownunderashadytree,andbegantothinkinwhatmannerIshouldspendmymoney.Isoondeterminedonsomanyfinepurchases,thatfourtimeswhatIpossessedwouldhavebeeninsufficienttohaveprocuredthem.Itwereimpossibletoenumeratethevarietyofvisionsandfanciesthatpossessedmymind.Iwasnolongerafraidofappearingbeforemyrelations like abeggar, butnow looked forwardwithpleasure tomyarrival atGenoa,andallthepurchasesthatImadeinmymind,werewithaviewtocutamostbrilliantfigureamongthem.

A stream of clear springwater ran atmy feet, withwhich I foundmyselfmuch refreshed, and beginning to feel hungry, I spreadmy provisions on thegrassforbreakfast.ScarcelyhadIeatenamouthful,whenIheardanoise,andturningroundhastily,Iwasmuchalarmedatperceivingamanclosebehindme,seated also on the grass, with his head reclining against a tree. But when Iconsidered him with attention I soon found that I had nothing to fear. Heappearedtobeaboutmyownage,butseemedasrawandinexperiencedasifhehad not been long weaned from his mother’s breast. Although he was welldressedandhadalargebundlelyingathisside,throughwhichIcoulddiscernsomeclothesandlinen,helookedsounhappythatIjudgedhispursecouldnotbeveryfull,andsethimdownforsomeknight-errantlikemyself,whohadbeenfoolenoughtoforsakehisfamilytowanderabouttheworld.Westaredateachother for somemomentswithout saying aword; butwhen I observed that helookedwitha longingeyeonmyprovisions,Icouldnothelppityinghim.Hiseager looks reminded me of my own feelings when I stood before the kind-hearted Monk at the Inn; and I determined not to be less generous than hisReverence. I, therefore, immediately invited thisyoungman in themostpolitemanner tobreakfastwithme.Shamepreventedhimat first fromacceptingmyoffer;butwhenIrepeatedit,helaidasidehismodesty,andconfessedtomethathehadnot tastedanythingfor thelastfourandtwentyhours.ThisIfoundnodifficultyinbelieving,whenIsawinwhatstylehedemolishedthemeatandthe

breadandcheeseIgavehim.Duringtherepastweinquiredofeachotherconcerningour travels.Hetold

methathehadcomefromToledo,andwasgoing toMadrid;andIacquaintedhimthatIhadjustcomefromBurgosandwasonmywaytoCordova.Hethenrelatedamostromanticstoryabouttheoccasionofhispilgrimage,andIwasnotmoresincerewithhim:consideringthathewasbutanovice,heliedwithaverygoodgrace,andbynomeansdisgracedhiscountrymen,whohavethereputationforwitandsmartanswersoneveryoccasion.Iaskedhim,howhecametosetoutonhis journey,withoutprovidinghimselfwithvictuals.Hereplied, thathehad not had time to procure any, having been forced to leave the place withprecipitation,andthathewasmoreladenwithclothesthanmoney.“Somuchtheworse,”saidI,“somuchtheworse;moneyisthemostnecessarycommodityfora travellernow-a-days; foreven thoughyouweregoingonapilgrimage toSt.JagoinGalicia,Iwouldnotadviseyoutoreckonmuchuponcharity,whichhasgrownverycoldoflate;youwillfindsomethingmorethanyourstaffnecessaryto supportyouby theway.”“Iperfectlyagreewithyou,” replied theToledan,“andamwellawareofmyimprudenceinsettingoutwithoutprovisions;butasitcannotnowberemedied,itisuselesstoregretit.”

“Itisinyourownpower,”answeredI,“torepairyourneglect,bydisposingof a part of the clothes contained in that large bundle, which you must findextremely burdensome. Money is more portable.” “Granted,” said he, “and Ineednotinformyouthatitismyintentiontosellatleasthalfofthem,assoonasI can find a purchaser.” “Perhaps,” replied I, “without going any further, youhaveamanbeforeyouwhoiswillingtorelieveyouofthegreaterpartofyourload,andgiveyouasmuchforthemastheyareworth.Shewmethecontentsofyour bundle, and I will select such as I am inclined to purchase.” My littlegentlemanturnedpaleatthesewords;heconsideredmeaknavewhointendedtorepaymyself for the breakfast by robbing him of a part of his property, or atleast, that Iwaswilling toamusemyselfathisexpense; forwhenhesurveyedmy elegant attire, which was not worth four maravedis, he could not for amoment think that Iwas in earnest: every one is apt to judge in thismanner,forming opinions of strangers from the difference of dress and outwardappearances.SuchasIseeyou,suchItakeyoutobe.

I observed his confusion; or rather, saw plainly that he suspected myintentions; and as he made no answer, I drew out one of my bags verydeliberately,untiedit,andexhibitedahandfulofrealstohisastonishedeyes:“Ibelieve,mylittlehero,”saidI,“thathereisenoughtopayforwhatIwishtobuyofyou.”Thecolourwassoonrestoredtohischeeksatthissight;heimmediately

left off eating, and ran to fetch his bundle, saying that all he had was at myservice.Atthesametimehewasproceedingtoshowmehisbestsuits,butthisIwouldnotpermit,untilwehadfinishedourmeal.Hishopesseemedtoserveasafresh sauce to his appetite, and he fell to again, as though he could not dosufficienthonortomybreakfast;hecouldscarcelycontainthejoythathefelt.

Thathemightnot forman illopinionofmeonaccountofmyappearance,andtopreventhissuspectingthatthemoneywhichhehadjustseenwasillgot,Iaddressed him to this effect:—“Whatever you may take me for,” said I, “beassured that Iaminrealityaswellbornasyourself.This Ihave thought fit toinform you, that youmay learn not always to judge of people by their looks.When I leftBurgos I had as good clothes as you, but I sold them in the firstvillage I passed through, to relieve myself of so inconvenient a burden, andcontentedmyselfwiththesetatteredgarments,whichwouldexcitethepity,orattheworstthecompassion,ofthieveswhomabetterdresswouldprobablyhavetempted.IfIhadnottakenthisprecautionIshouldhavebeenrobbedahundredtimesere this,andbeat thismomentwithouta singlemaravedi inmypocket.As, however, it ismy intention to stop atToledo for some time inmyway toCordova,Ihavenowimmediateoccasionforagoodsuitofclothes;andifyouhaveanythatwillfitme,Iamreadytobeapurchaser.”

TheToledan,burningwithimpatiencetocommencebusiness,withhismouthstillfull,begantospreadoutonthegrassacompletesuit,thecloakofwhichwasofmostexcellentclothofalightgreycolour,togetherwithtwofineshirtsandapair of silk stockings. I tried themall on, and they fittedme exactly.This theyoungmandidnotfailtotellme,tomakemehavethebetteropinionofthem.Heseemedapprehensivethatmymoneywouldslipthroughhisfingers,orthatIshould changemymind.He need have been under no such fear, for Iwas asanxioustobuyashewastosell,sothatourbargainwassoonstruck.Heaskedmeahundredreals,andIagreedtogivehimthisprice,uponconditionthathewouldtruckhisclothes-bagwithmeformyhamper.Thisheconsentedto,andIputmymoneyintoit,withthetwoshirtsandthesilkstockings.MynewclothesI stillwore; and Ihungup theold suit and the restofmy ragsona tree, as atrophyofmysuccessinbeggary.TheToledanonhissidefilledthehamperwithhis goods, and the victuals that were left. During all this time, the Sun wasinsensibly going down, and the hour of parting having arrived, we embracedeach other with a thousand professions of friendship: after which we eachpursuedourparticularroute,bothwellsatisfiedwithourbargain.

CHAP.XV.

GuzmanarrivesatToledo,andactsthemanoffortunethere.Someaccountofhisgallantries.

ITwaspastnineo’clockwhenIenteredthefamouscityofToledo.Icombedmyhairandputmyselfinorder,takingparticularpainstorubthedustoffmyshoes,thatImightwiththegreaterassurancebeabletoassertthatIcameinacoach.Irequestedtobedirectedtothebestinn,whitherIrepaired,requiringmysupperandlodginglikeayoungmanoffortune,whotroubledhimselfbut littleaboutexpence.As theseare the sortof customerswhoare sure tobewell treatedatinns,Iwasimmediatelyshewnintoanexcellentchamberwithagoodbedinit,andwaiteduponlikeanyprince.Isuppedperfectlytomysatisfaction,andsleptbetterthanIsupped.

Thenextmorningafterhavingtakenmychocolate,whichIcalledforinorderto impress themwith an opinion of my quality, I desired them to send for ahatter,ashoemakerandasword-maker,foritwasindispensableformetohaveanewhat,sword,andshoes,tocorrespondwiththerestofmyequipage.Butthemost essential thing of all, was to procure a tailor to disguise the suit I hadbought asmuch as possible, lestwhen Iwent abroad Imight happen tomeetsomeoftherelationsoftheyoungmanofwhomIhadpurchasedit,whichmighthave raised suspicions dangerous tome inmy present situation. Imight veryreasonablyhavesupposedthattheywouldknowitagain,andperhapsaccusemeof having stolen it, and assassinated the youngman. Justicewould then haveinterfered,andthisIhadmorereasonsthanonetodread.Isent,therefore,foratailor, who in a few hours so completely disguised the suit, by covering thesleeves with taffeta, changing the buttons, and putting a velvet collar on thecloak,thatthedevilhimselfcouldscarcelyhaveknownitagain.

Ipaidmytailorhandsomely;andwellpleasedthatIcouldnowventureoutwithoutthedreadofgettingintodifficultyonaccountofmydress,Itookawalktowards the evening in the Zocodover, where the fashionables usuallypromenade. Metamorphosed as I was, I was not altogether free fromapprehensionofmeetingsomeonewhomightrecognizeme.Thisfear,however,didnotpreventmyfeelinggratifiedinobservingthatIwasparticularlynoticedbytheprettiestwomenofslendervirtue,who,lookinguponmeasahandsomewell-shaped young fellowwho had never yet been toCythera, appearedmostanxioustohavethehonourofsettingmeintherightroad;butIhadresolution

enoughtoresistalltheirseducingglances.Whatmostsurprisedmewastheextremeneatnessofallthegentlemen.My

dress, notwithstanding all the tailor’s endeavours to adjust and beautify it,appeared so shabby in comparison with those around me, that I resolved onhavinganother. Just at thismoment agentlemanmountedon abeautifulmulecrossedtheZocodover,insohandsomeandstylishadress,thatIdeterminedtogetone,exactlysimilar,madeformyself.Icouldscarcelyrefrainfromsendingformytailorthatverynight.Imanaged,however,towaittillmorning,thoughIneverclosedmyeyes thewholeof thenight,socompletelywasIamusedanddelighted in considering how handsome I should look in these new trappings.But when I reflected on the probable expence of them, I began to hesitate,notwithstandingtheeagerdesireIfelttoappearinthem.

“Well, Signor Guzman,” said I to myself, “you presume then to dressmagnificently,andtosupplantallthegallantsatToledo!welldone,courage,myfriend.Spendyourrealswithoutreflectingonthedeepgameyouhaveplayedtopossessyourselfofthem.Thatisnotworthyofyourconsideration;allyouseemtowishistogetridofyourmoney,andyouwillfinditgoquickenough.Letasuitbemadeagreeabletoyourfancy,andbegincourtingtheladies;andyouwillsooncometoyourbasketagain.Relyupon this;butdonot think thatyoucaneverydaymeetwithapothecarieswhowillallowthemselves tobepurged likeyourfriendatMadrid.”

All thesewise reflections presented themselves, but without effect; for, nosoonerwasitday-lightthanIsentformytailor,towhomIgavetheorder,afterhavinggivenhimanexactdescriptionof thedress Ihadseen.Hepromised tomake me one exactly similar, undertaking to go himself and purchase thematerials, and assuring me that I should have it as soon as possible; for Irequired him to be as expeditious and punctual, as though Iwere going to bemarried,andonlywaitedformyweddingclothes.He,accordingly,sentithometwodaysafter,andIhadneverseenanythingmorestylishandelegant;thegoldglittered all over it. When I put it on, I was in raptures at my handsomeappearance, and the beauty of my figure, which was already perfectly wellformedthoughscarcelyfifteenyearsofage.IthoughtthatIwastheveryimageofmy fatherwhenhewasyoung,havingadelicatewhiteand redcomplexionlikehim,withlight-brownhair.Ishouldneverhavebeentiredoflookingintheglass,thoughIfeltmostanxioustogoabroadagaintobeadmiredinthecity.NoonewhowasnotsoeminentlypleasedwithhisownfigureasIwas,couldhavebeenfoolenoughtohavesatisfiedmytailorwithoutdisputinghisbill,whichImightmostconscientiouslyhavereducedtwothirds;butIdidnotthenthinkthat

Icouldpossiblypaytoomuchforsotastefulanequipage.Minehostessseeingme superbly dressed, toldme I ought at least to have a lackey. I immediatelyengagedone,therefore,thatlookedlikeapage,forwhomIwasobligedtofindnewclothes,tobeworthyofamasterofmyimportance.

The first Sunday, I failed not to attend the great church, followed by mylackey,towhomIhadgivenproperinstructionsthathemightdomehonour.Thecongregationwasof thefirstqualityinthecity;I thrustmyself inthemidstofthemwithavastdealofassurance,andvisitedallthechapelsoneafteranother,whichcausedmanytothinkthatIhadsomedesigninmyhead;itwas,however,onlytoshewmyselfoff.

I placedmyself between the two choirs, havingobserved that the principalladieswerealwaysinthispartofthechurch.ItwasherethatIdisplayedallthefineairs IhadseenpractisedbyotheryoungfoolsatMadrid,andwhichIhadperformedatleasttwentytimesoverinthemorningatmyglass.ThefirstthingIdid,wastochooseaspotwhereIcouldbeseenfromheadtofoot.ThenIthrustoutmybreast,andstoodfirmupononeleg,whileIextendedtheotherinsostiffaposition, that it scarcely touched theground;shewingby thismeansmyfinestockings, and that I wore garters of the German fashionwhich were then invogue.As this posture crampedme extremely, I was obliged to vary it everyminute,makingdiversgrimacesat the ladieswholookedatme.Ismileduponone, lookedcoollyuponanother,with languishingeyesupona third, andwithsparkling eyes upon a fourth. In short, I so far overactedmy part that all theladies and gentlemen who observed my manœuvres began to titter at myexpence. This I took no kind of notice of, for I had too good an opinion ofmyselftoimaginethattheycouldfindanythingridiculousinmybehaviour.

All the ladies,however,werenotdisposed to laughatmyextravagantairs;there were even some among them completely charmed bymymanners; for,withoutanyoffencetowomeningeneral,itmay,undoubtedly,beasserted,thattherearealwaysmanyofthatsexforwhomthemostimpertinentcoxcombisasexactlyamatchasifhehadbeenmadeonpurpose.Amongstothers,Ihadthehappinesstopleasetwobeautifulwomenwhocouldnotrefrainfromlettingmeknowit.Thepassionoftheonewascreatedbymylooksandgrimaces;butastothe favourablesentimentsof theother, Icouldattribute themonly tomystars.Thefirstofmytwoconquestswasalivelylookingwoman,whohadsomethingroguishinhereye,andapleasingface.Iogledherlikeanovice,andsheseemedbynomeansdispleased;forwomenalwayspreferapprenticesinthisarttotheirmasters. She returnedmy tender glances,which encouragedme to follow herafterMass,thatImightknowwhereshelived.Shewalkedveryslowly,toshew

methatitwouldnotbeherfaultifIletherescape,andIsooncameupwithher,andnowandthenasIwalkedbehindherwhisperedsomesoft thingstoheraswellasIwasableatmyage.Shemadenoreply,yetnowand then turnedherheadround,lookingatmeinsuchamanneraspersuadedmethatshedarednotspeakforfearoftheDuennabywhomshewasaccompanied.

We at length came to a narrow street nearSt.Cyprian’sChurchwhere shelived.Inenteringherhouse,shebowedherheadtometoletmeseethatshewasnotdispleasedatmyhavingfollowedher,anddidnotforgettodartanamorouslookatme,whichfilledmewithloveandhope.I tookparticularnoticeofherhouse, intendingtoreturnwithoutfail thatverydaytoshewmyselfbeforeherwindows.IthentookthewaytowardsmyInnagainwithhastysteps.

Inosoonergotintoanotherstreet,thanasortofwaiting-womanwithalongthick veil thrown over her, accostedme as I passed along: “SignorCavalier,”said she, “I beseech you to follow me; I wish to communicate something ofconsequencetoyou.”Ididnothesitateamoment,butfollowedheruntilwebothstoppedunderalargeopengateway,when,seeingthatnobodycouldhearus,sheaddressedme thus: “Charming stranger, your appearance is so handsome andprepossessing, that you will not be surprised when I tell you that a lady ofqualitywhohasseenyouatchurch, isquiteenchantedandcaptivatedbyyourelegantperson,andwishestohaveaprivateconversationwithyou.Thisladyisnewlymarried,andsobeautifulthat...but,”addedshe,breakingoffsuddenly,“Iwillsaynomore;Imustletyouformyourownopinionwhenyouseeher.”

Iswallowedthisbaitmostgreedily,andcouldscarcelyrestrainthepleasurethatIfelt.Affecting,however,toappearmodest,Ianswered,thatIknewnotinwhat terms to acknowledge thehonour thathermistresshadconferredonme;thatIdidnotdoubtshewasapersonofthefirstquality,andthat,therefore,Iwasmostanxioustowaituponher,andthrowmyselfatherfeettothankherforhergoodopinionofme.“Signor,”saidtheConfidante,“itwillbedangeroustothinkofseeingheratherownhouse,forshehasajealoushusband:buttellmewhereyoulodge,andIwillengagethatto-morrowmorningatfarthest,youshallhaveaninterviewwithherinyourownapartments.”Igavehermyaddress,andsheimmediately departed to rejoin her Mistress, who, she said, was waitingimpatiently to know whether she had reason to thank Dame Fortune, or toreproachher.

I now foundmyself engaged in two love-intrigues; but I feltmost inclinedtowards the first; not that I was displeased with the second, for it was mostflatteringtomyvanity.“Whatanadvantageit is,”thoughtI,“tobehandsome!nosoonerhaveImademyappearanceatToledo,thantwoladies,apparentlyof

the first quality, are already in lovewithme.Whatmust be the consequence,then, if I stay here long? I shall undoubtedly captivate all the women in theCity.”IreturnedtomyInnfullofthesepleasingthoughts,which,however,didnot preventmy eating a very hearty dinner; afterwhich I sallied out again assoonasIwasablewithoutbeingincommodedbytheheatofthesun,andflewtowards St. Cyprian, where I paced up and down before the windows of thehouseintowhichmyfirstmistresshadentered.Notsomuchastheshadowofawoman,however,wastobeseen;notwithstandingwhichIloiteredaboutuntilitwasquiteevening,andmyperseverancewasat length rewarded. I sawoneofthe lower windows half opened, which I approached, and in a nymph, whopresentedherselftomyeyesinanundress,IrecognizedmyPrincess,whotoldme, with considerable agitation, that her neighbours, who were a tattling set,wouldsuspectsomething,andbesoughtmetoremainnolongerinthestreet,butto retire for some time, and return in about two hours; that there would benobodyinthehousebutherselfandservants,andthatifIpleased,wemightthensuptogether.Iwasoverjoyedatthisinvitation,whichIacceptedbykissingoneof her handswith an air of tenderness, and at the same time requested that Imight be permitted to contributemy dish towards the supper. “That is by nomeans necessary,” answered the lady; “but as what I have in the house may,possibly,notbetoyourliking,youcandoasyoupleaseinthatrespect.”

Assoonaswehadsettledthesepreliminaries,Idepartedforfearofattractingtheattentionoftheneighbours,andtherebydestroyingthehappinessinstoreforme,andrejoinedmypage,whomIhadorderedtowaitformeatthetopofthestreet,andgavehimsomemoney,desiringhimtoprocuremeafinepulletnicelydressed,twopartridges,arabbit-pie,fourbottlesofexcellentwine,andsomeofthechoicest fruits.All thiswasready,andsentatnineo’clockprecisely,andIsoonfollowed,wasreceivedbymynymphinthekindestmanner,andconductedbyherintoaneatchamberwheresheusuallyslept,withahandsomebedinit,andIcouldnothelpobservingunderasortofpavilionmadewithrose-colouredtaffeta,alargetub,inwhichIsupposedtheSignoraoccasionallybathedherself.The table was spread here, and the sideboard decorated with my bottles andfruits. I was well pleased at the sight of these preparations, which seemed topromisemeanagreeable evening, andcouldonlyhavewished thatmy lovelyhostesshadbeeninbetterspirits;for,inspiteofherendeavourstoaffectgaiety,Iplainlyperceivedthatshewasuneasyfromsomecauseunknowntome.

“Mycharmer,”saidI,“allowmetoaskthecauseofthatsadnesswhichissoevidently depicted on your countenance, and which it is in vain for you toendeavourtoconceal.”“Fairstranger,”answeredshe,sighing,“sinceIhavenot

beenabletoconcealmymortificationfromyou,IconfessthatIammuchvexedat some unseasonable news I have just received.My brother, on whom I amentirelydependent,whohasbeentoCourttosolicitpreferment,hasjustreturnedtoToledo;Iwouldhavegivenyounoticeofthisbefore,hadIknownwheretosendtoyou;nevertheless,”addedshe,“asheisnowgonetosupwithaladyofwhomheisenamoured,Idonotexpecthimhomebeforemidnight.Wemayatleast have the satisfactionof supping, andconversing together; and I have theconsolation to add thathewill return toMadrid in adayor two, to stay therethreemonths.Ishouldotherwisebeinconsolableathisarrival;forheisamanofthemostviolent temper,andmostpunctilious inaffairsofhonour.YoucannotconceivewhataprisonerIamwhenheisathome;but,thankGod,weshallsoonbe free from him for some time to come.” This discourse of hers somewhatmoderatedmyjoy;theunforeseenreturnofabrother,andoneofhisdisposition,appeared no laughing matter to me. I felt very far from comfortable, and, tospeaktruth,wassorrythatIhadnothadnoticeofitbefore.ForalthoughIwasnotoneofthegreatestcowards,yetIhadmuchratherhavebeenobligedtofightinastreetthaninahouse,whereImustofnecessitydefendmyself,orlosemyears.As,however,theevilwasnowwithoutremedy,Iconsideredmyselfcalledupontoshewmycourageandresolution.Ientreatedthelady,therefore,tohavethesupper servedupatall events, addingwithanairof intrepidity, that ifherbrothercameinandinterruptedus,hemightchoosewhatproceedinghepleased,butwhicheverheadoptedtowardsme,heshouldfindthathehadtodowithonewhowouldbe at least hismatch.The supperwas thenbrought in, andwe satdown together; but at that instant we heard a loud knock at the door. “OHeavens!”criedshe,risingfromherseatasthoughshewasruined;“thatmustbemybrother,—whatwillbecomeofme?”

Youwill perhaps imagine, that to support the bravery of which I had justboasted, I prepared courageously to receive thedisturber of our pleasures as Ihadresolved;but,onthecontrary,Iwassosurprisedandterrifiedathisreturn,thatIthoughtofnothingbutpreservingmyselffromhisfury,andwasgoingtocreepunderthebed;butthesister,consideringthatIshouldbesaferinthetub,thrustmeintoit,andcoveredmewithacarpet.Unfortunatelyformylacedcoatthis tubwaswet and dirty, independently ofwhich Iwasmuch cramped, andveryfarfrombeingatmyeaseinit.

In themean time the doorwas opened to this cursed brother,who had nosoonerenteredthechamber,than,astonished,orpretendingtobeso,atfindingthetableandsideboardsowellsetout,heremainedforsomemomentswithoutspeaking a word; but at length breaking silence; “What means all this

preparation, sister?” said he, in an imperative tone; “have either of us beenmarriedtoday,orforwhomisthisentertainmentmeant?”“Foryouonly,whomIhavebeenanxiouslyexpecting,”repliedthetremblingnymph.“Itissomethingnew,”continuedhe,“totreatmewiththisceremony.YoucannotpretendthatitwastocelebratemyreturnfromMadrid,forIsentyouwordthatIshouldsupinthecity.”“True,”repliedthelady,“butyouwellknow,thatyouhaveoftencomeandsurprisedmeafterhavingtoldmethesamething;and,ifyourecollect,youhavesometimesbeenangrythatIhavenotpreparedasupperforyou.”“Iambynomeanssatisfied,” replied thebrother,“andI fearmuch thatourneighbours’slandersarebuttoowellfounded.Foraladyofqualityyouarenotsufficientlycircumspectinyourbehaviour.Youarewellawareofmydelicacyonthatpoint,thereforebecautiousof takinganystepswhichmaywoundmyfeelings;but,”addedhe,“letussitdowntosupper.Iamwillingforthiseveningtoputthebestinterpretationonyourintentions.”

Atthesewordsheseatedhimselfatthetable,andtheybothfelltouponmyunfortunatesupper.Asforhim,hekeptgrumblingallthewhilehewasstuffingatmyexpence,andhissistercouldnotutterasinglewordbutwhatputhimintoapassion.Hecursedandswore,andwheneversheventuredtocontradicthiminanything,heseemedalmostmadwithrage,calledhereveryvilenamehecouldthinkof,andseemedreadytoknockherdown.Twoorthreetimesinthecourseof their repast, I ventured to lift up a corner of the carpet with which I wascoveredtotakeapeepatthisterriblefellow;butIwassoafraidthathewouldseemethatIdarednottakeafullviewofhim.

Timeappearedlesstedioustohimattablethantomeinthetub,andIcouldnotpossiblyconceivehowsopassionateafellowcouldremainso longpatientevenineating.Heamusedhimself inthismanner,however,foraboutanhour;andthathourappearedanagetome.Hedrankatleastasheartilyasheate,andemptied threeofmybottles in thecourseofhismeal;andwhen the tablewascleared, he called for pipes and tobacco, to make an end, as he said, of thefourth.Uponthisthelady,wishingtomakemebelievethatshedesiredtogetridofthisintruder,entreatedhimtogoandsmokeinhisownchamber,andtoleaveheratlibertytoundressherselfandgotobed;butheansweredrudely,thatshemight retire whither she pleased, but that for his own part he felt verycomfortablewherehewas,andintendedtopassthenightthere.

Hearingthis lastresolution,Inowcompletelygavemyselfupforlost;forIhadflatteredmyselfthattheleastthisabominableintrudercoulddo,afterhavingstuffedhimselfinthisstyle,wastoleavethechamberashewasrequested;andthatIshouldremainalonewithhissister,topicktheboneshewaskindenough

toleave.Ievenhopedthatthelatterpartofthenightmightprovemoreagreeabletome than the commencement, but I didnot long remainunder this flatteringdelusion. The lady, as though she partook of my uneasiness, endeavoured toprevailonherbrothertochangehismind,butnotbeingabletosucceedeitherbytears or entreaties, she left the room with all the appearance of being muchdistressed onmy account.No sooner had she gone, than her brother began tobehavehimselfasifheweredrunkormad;sometimeshewouldsitveryquietlyfor a fewminutes, then jumpupandwalkanddanceabout the roomwithhispipeinhismouth;sometimeshewouldsnatchuphissword,andfenceagainstthe hangings; whistling, singing, and talking to himself all this while, andswearinglikeaJew,threateningtoexterminateanymanwhoshoulddareevensomuchaslookathim.

After having passed above half the night in these extravagances, he at lastthrewhimselfatfulllengthonthebedwithoutundressing,placinghisswordandpistols within his reach, by way of precaution. “God be praised,” said I tomyself,“itwillnotbenecessary,nowthatheisonthebed,torockhimtosleep;hewillsoonbeginsnoringtohisheart’scontent.”Iwas,however,oncemoreoutinmy reckoning; hiswine had not the same effect upon him that it has uponothers,for,insteadoffallingasleep,hedidnothingbutdozeatintervalsforthespace of about two hours, starting up every moment, and crying out, who’sthere? as if he heard some noise in the chamber. The only noise that Imade,however,inmytub,wasinliftingupacornerofthetapestry,tohearwhetherhesleptornot,which, inmy impatience toquit thiscursedhouse, Icertainlydidprettyfrequently.Heavenatlasttookpityonme.Thisboisteroushero,ataboutday-break,fellasnoringmost lustily;andI thenslippedfromundermytubasquietlyaspossible,determinedtorunallrisksratherthanremainanylonger,andreachedthechamberdoorontiptoe,withmyshoesinmyhand.Iraisedthelatchverygently,andmadehastetowardsthestreet-door,andbeingsofortunateastofindthekeyhangingupbyit,Iopenedthedoor,andranallthewayhometoourinn.

HereI foundthatnobodywasyetstirring,notevenmypage,whothinkingthatIshouldofcoursepassthenightinthearmsoflove,hadgonetobedverycoolly,without giving himself any concern aboutme.As Iwas notwilling todisturbanybody,Iwalkedintoapastry-cook’sshopintheneighbourhood,thatwasjustopening,andtellingthemasterthatIwasdyingwithhunger,requestedhewouldprovidemewithsomethingtoeat.Heansweredthathehadnowinhisovensomelittlepasties,fittobepresentedtotheArchbishopofToledo,whichwouldsoonbesufficientlybaked.Ideterminednottolosethistreat,andwhileI

waited until the pasties were drawn from the oven, I had an opportunity ofreflecting onmy late cruel adventure, and themore I considered it, themoreluckydidIesteemmyselfinhavinggotoffsocheaply.

The pastry cook had not, in my opinion, boasted of his pasties withoutreason, for I either found them excellent, or else my appetite gave them anexquisitetaste,whichtheyprobablyhadnot.WhenIleftthisshopitwasquiteday;Ienteredourinnandhastenedtomychamber,whereIlaydownonmybed,and at last fell into a sound sleep, after having tumbled about for two hourswithoutbeingabletogetmylateadventurewiththebrotherandsister,andthecharacterswhichtheyhadsowellsupported,outofmyhead.

CHAP.XVI.

Guzman’samourscontinued,andinwhatmannertheyended.

I COULD well have slept until very late in themorning; but as two ladies hadinquiredformebelow,oneofwhomwassorichlydressedthatmylackeywasquite dazzled by hermagnificent appearance, he came up tomy chamber andawokeme toannounce thisvisit. Ipresentlyguessed thismustbe thewaiting-womanwhomIhadconversedwiththedaybefore,whohadkeptherpromise,byprevailingonhermistresstoaccompanyhertocalluponme.Ihadnosoonerdesiredmy lackey to shew them in, than a ladyof handsomemien and figureenteredtheroom,whobyherelegantdeportmentandeasymanners,couldnotinmy judgment be less than aMarchioness orCountess. She seated herself in achairatmybedside.Isatupinmybedandbowedtoherasrespectfullyasmysituation would admit of, begging her to excuse me for receiving her in thismanner,andadding that Ihadmuchratheroffend in that respect, thanallowaladyofherqualityandmerittowaitamomentatthedoor.“Nomoreapologies,”saidshe,“butletuscometothepointandcontentmycuriosity:HowlonghaveyoubeeninToledo?whathasbroughtyouhither?shallyoumakealongstayinthisplace?”

Thesequestions,unexpectedastheywere,werebynomeansembarrassingtome,forIhadamostfruitfulinventiononsuchoccasions;I,therefore,madeupsofineastoryofmybirthandprospectsinlife,thatIcompletelysucceededinconvincingherofmyhighquality.Onetruth,however,escapedmeinthecourseofconversation,whichspoiledalltheeffectofmylies;insteadofsayingthatIintended to stay at least three or fourmonths at Toledo, I told her that I hadmerelyvisiteditforafewdays’diversion.Iinstantlyperceivedthatthiswasnotexactlyagreeabletoherhopes.Shehadevidentlyformedsomedesignuponme,which these words disconcerted; and looking upon me, in consequence, as amerebirdofpassage,whomsheshouldsoonlosesightofforever,sheresolvedtopluckmeaswellasshewasablebeforeweparted.

Toaccomplishherobject, therefore, thefirst thingshedidwasto throwoffherveil, in an easy andgracefulmanner, discoveringa faceofperfectbeauty,andtakinggreatpainstodisplayherdelicatewhitehandsandapartofherneck.Shethen,withanegligentair,drewfromherpocketafinecoralrosary,towhichwere attached several relics, gold crosses and precious stones, and withoutappearingtohaveanydesigninit,keptplayingwiththisrosaryallthewhileshe

was talkingas though shewerenot awareofwhat shewasdoing,but allof asudden she left off speaking in the middle of a sentence, looked at me withsurprise,andbegan feelingherpocketswithanxietywhichseemed to increaseeverymoment.Iinquiredthecauseofheruneasiness,butinsteadofansweringmeshebegantolookonthefloor,andeverywherethatshecouldthinkof;thencallingherservantwhowasinwaitingatthechamberdoor:“Marcia,”saidshe,“Ihavelostthegreatcrossbelongingtothechapletwhichmyhusbandgaveme;howunfortunateIam!hewillcertainlythinkIhavemadeapresentofittosomeone.”“Madam,”repliedthewaiting-woman,“youareperhapsprematureinyoursorrow.Youmaypossiblyhaveleftitathome,andIevenfancythatIrecollecttohaveseenitinoneofyourdrawers.”“IcanneverrestuntilIbeconvincedofthis,” replied the lady.“Letus therefore returnhomeimmediately, for Icannotbeartoremainindoubtonsuchasubject.”

Allmyefforts todetainherwereunavailing. I represented toher that theremight be foundmany similar rosaries at aGoldsmith’s, and that, if shewouldallowme,Iwouldpresumetosendheroneassoonaspossible;butshewouldnotacceptofmyoffer, requestingme, in anengagingmanner, to allowher todepart;assuringme,thatwhethershefoundhercrossathomeornot,shewouldnotfailtopaymeavisitthenextdayatthesamehour.Uponthisshequittedmychamber, leavingmewellpleasedwithher figure, andmuchgrievedather soprecipitatedeparture.

Itwasnolongerpossibletothinkofsleepingaftersuchaninterview,sothatIlayandreflectedonmygoodfortune,andthepleasuresthatIanticipated,untilitwastimefordinner.Ithenroseanddressedmyself,afterwhichIsatdowntoasmall table,andpartookofavarietyofdishessufficientforsixpersons.In themiddle of my repast, Marcia returned, and informed me with a mournfulcountenance that the golden cross could not be found; “andwhat is stillmorevexatious,” added she, “my mistress accuses me of being the cause of thismisfortune,andImustallowthatIwasrathertoopressingthismorningtomakeherdressherselfquicklytocomeandseeyou.IhavebeentoaGoldsmith’soutofcuriosity,toseeifIcouldnotfindacrossofthesamedescription,andhavebeenfortunateenoughtomeetwithonethatresemblesitasnearlyaspossible.”Isoonunderstoodhermeaning,andwishingtobethoughtgenerous,Ianswered,that if she would wait until I had dined, I would accompany her to theGoldsmith’s,andpurchasethecrosswhichshehadseen.Asthiswas,infact,thesoleobjectofhercoming,shereplied,thatshewoulddojustasIpleased;thenbeginningtopraisehermistress,shetoldmeallthatwascharmingofher.

After dinner we repaired to the Goldsmith’s together, and purchased the

aforesaidcross,whichIgavetoMarcia,requestinghertotellhermistress,thatasIconsideredmyself insomedegreethecauseofherloss, itwasmydutytorepair it. This faithful servant, overjoyed at her good success, immediatelydeparted,afterhavingassuredmethatshewouldmakeherladyacquaintedwithmygenerouswayofproceeding,and thatshewassurehermistresswouldnotfailtoseemenextday,personallytoreturnthanksformykindness.

As soon as Marcia had left me, I determined to avail myself of thisopportunity toseemyladyinSt.Cyprian-streetagain;foralthoughIhadsuchgoodreasontobelievethatshewasacheatandherbrotherabully,yetIshouldhavebeengladtohavefoundmyselfmistaken;forgetting,therefore,thescurvytrick they had played me, I hastened towards their house, and perceived mycharmeratawindow,whenceIwassoonremarked.Shemadesignstomethatshehadcompany,butthatIwasnottogoaway;Istopped,andaboutaquarterofanhourafter, sawhergooutalone. I followedheratadistance,andobservedherenterthegreatchurchtoshortenherwaytoPattenstreet,whenceshewentintoMercer’s-street,andenteredashop,makingsignstometofollowher,whichIobeyed.Howadmirablydidshethenplayherpart!Sheburstintotears,which,Isuppose,shehadalwaysreadyatcommand,andcomplaining toHeaven thatshehadso troublesomeabrother, sheassuredmeof theextremepainshehadsufferedonmyaccount,swearingoverandoveragain that ithadnotbeenherfault thatsountowardanadventurehadoccurredtome:shethentoldme, thatshehoped to recompensemeformy lateunpleasantnightbyassuringmeofapleasantone;thatherbrotherwastosetoutimmediatelyforthecountry,wherehewouldremainforatleasttwodays,andshetrusted,therefore,thatIwouldnotrefuseherinvitationtospendthateveningwithher.Shethenspoketomewithsomuch tenderness, that Iwascompletelyconvincedofhersincerity,andwasweak enough to promise to see her at her own house again as soon as itwasdusk.

As she had entered this shop, she could notmake up hermind to leave it,without asking the prices and cheapening some trifles, as is customary withwomen;andsheagreedtopurchasesomeofthemforahundredandfiftyreals;but instead of paying for them, she said to the shopkeeper, “youwill be kindenoughtoallowmetotakethesearticleswithmenow,andgivemecredituntilto-morrow,whenIwillsendmywaiting-woman topayyou.”Theshopkeeper,whoeitherdidnotknowheratall,orpossiblywasbuttoowellacquaintedwithher,refusedtotrusther;uponwhichSignorGuzman,alwaysreadytopleasetheladies,steppedforwardandsaid tohim,“mygoodfriend,doyounotperceivethattheladyisonlyinjest;shehasnotthissumathand,butIcarryherpurse,

andhavethehonourtobehersteward:”thussaying,Idrewitfrommypocketinthemost gracefulmanner, and paid the shopkeeper his demand.After thisweparted. “Adieu, my chicken,” said she, in a languishing and tender manner;“rememberthatIshallexpecttoseeyouatnineintheevening,butIabsolutelyforbidyoutoprovideanysupper,forImustinsistonbeingallowedtotreatyouthistime.”

The hour of rendezvous, which I expected with the greatest impatience,having at length arrived, I set out towardsmy charmer’s house, at the risk ofpassinganothernightthereinthetub.Inowapproachedherdooragainwithasmucheagernessas Ihadran fromit in themorning. Imade thesignalwehadagreedupon;butnoanswer.Irepeatedit;butneithersawnorheardanyone.Ithenbegantofancythatthebrotherhadbeeninformedofhissister’sdesign,andhad not set off for the country. Thinking it possible, however, that I had notgiventhesignalloudenough,whichwastoknockwithastoneatthebottomofthelowerwindow,Iredoubledmystrokes;butImightaswellhaveattemptedtomakethebridgeofAlcantarahearme.Ithenknockedseveraltimesatthedoor,andputmyeartothekey-holetolisten;butfindingthattherewasnottheleastnoisetobeheardinthehouse,Iremainedinthestreetuntilmidnight,quiteatalosstoaccountforsoextraordinaryasilence.

Mypatience,however,beganatlengthtofailme,andIwasjustonthepointofreturning,whenIobservedacompanyofarmedmencomingtowardsme;andtook the precaution to retire to the end of the street, that Imight notice themunobserved.Theystoppedatthedoorofmynymph’shouse,andrappedloudly;andas thepeople in thehousepersisted innot answering them, theybegan tothunderatthedoorwiththeirstaves,andwouldsoonhaveshiveredittoatoms,ifaservanthadnotappearedatoneof thewindows,andaskedwhatwastheirbusiness.“Open,”criedanAlguazil,“open,atthesummonsofJustice.”Attheseterriblewords,Ifeltsoalarmed,thatIwastemptedtoscamperoffasfastasmylegswouldcarryme,notknowingbutitwasformetheylooked;aculpritcannotbehold these sort of people without emotion. My courage returned, however,whenIreflectedthatIcouldonlybeconsideredthedupeofmyprincessandherpretended brother, whose laudable conduct, had, according to all appearance,attractedtheattentionofjustice.

I even ventured to approach the house, as soon as the Alguazil and hismyrmidons had entered it; and joining the crowd of neighbours who hadcollectedinthestreettoseewhatwasgoingon,Iheardoneamongthemsaytothe rest, “They call themselves brother and sister; but they must trace theirpedigreefromAdam,fortheyarenootherwiserelated.Themanisanadventurer

of Cordova, who for some months past, has lived here at Toledo with thiswomanwhowas formerly an actress at Seville, at the expence of such youngfoolsasfell intotheirhands;butunfortunatelyforthesetwohonestfolks, theyhavebeenpractisingtheirknaveriesuponascrivener,whohasplayedthemthistricktobeavengedonthem.

At this relation, all the neighbours laughed heartily at the expence of thescrivener,whomtheyknewtobebutnewlymarried:but,althoughtheyweresoglad to find that this limb of the law had been duped, they did not the lessapplaud his vengeance on that account, so true is it that nobody ever pitiespersonswhoaredetectedindishonesty.Itseemedevenamostagreeablecomedyforthewitnessesofthisadventure,whentheysawtheAlguazilandhisofficersleadingtoprisontheladyallindisorder,accompaniedbyhergallantwellboundwithcords.Formyownpart,thoughIcouldnotwellforgetherscurvytreatmentof me in the tub, yet I could not feel any pleasure in seeing this miserablewoman in her present deplorable situation: I was the only one of all thespectators who felt any pity for her, though I had most reason to feel none.Rejoiced,however,thatIcouldnolongerbeherdupe,Ireturnedtomyinn,foolenough still to flattermyself that the other ladywould not deceiveme; but Iwaited,invain,thewholeofthenextdayathomeforher:Ididnotevenseeherservantagain:sothatbeingnolongerabletodoubtthatIwasalsogulledinthatquarter,IresolvedthatinfutureIwouldbemoreuponmyguardagainstthefairsex.

CHAP.XVII.

Guzmantakesafalsealarm,andleavesToledoprecipitately.Anothergallantry.Originoftheproverb,“atMalagon,athiefineveryhouse,butinthatofthe

Alcaidtwo,thefatherandtheson.”

THUSendedmygallantriesatToledo;and tocompletemymisfortunes,whenIarrivedatmyinn,ImetanAlguazilthere,who,Iwasinformed,hadjustarrivedfromMadrid,andhadbeenmakingveryparticularinquiriesofthelandlordforacertain quidam, of whom he was in search. I did not hear this withoutuneasiness;nevertheless,alarmedasIwas,Imanagedtoputaboldfaceonthematter;butIwassoagitatedthewholeofthenightthatIcouldnotgetawinkofsleep. I roseearly thenextmorning, still thinkingof this cursedAlguazil, andwentouttowalkintheZocodover.Ihadnotgoneonceroundthesquare,beforeIheardamancrying,TwomulesreturningtoAlmagro.

Ideterminedtoavailmyselfofthisopportunity,andresolvedinamomenttohirethesetwomules,asthoughIhadforeseenthatIshouldfindacompanyofsoldiersatAlmagroonthepointofdepartureforItaly.Ispoketothecrier,andwesoonagreed;afterwhichIsentmylackeytopaymylandlord,andtofetchmy baggage,which consisted of a portmanteau, inwhichwasmy fashionabledress,somefinelinen,andwhatremainedofmymoney.Assoonasherejoinedme,Igavehimoneofthemules,mountedmyselfontheother,andrejoicedathavingfoundsofavourableanopportunityofleavingToledo,whereIcouldnolongerremaininpeace,ItooktheroutetowardsOrgas,whereIsleptthatnight.

Attheinnwherewestoppedtherechancedtobeaveryprettyservant-maid,who, fromherwit and obligingmanners, seemed so superior to her conditionthat I commenced a conversationwith her, in the course ofwhich I could notrefrain from plainly expressing the amorous desires I felt towards her. So farfrombeingstartledat thisdeclaration, sheanticipatedmywishes,andwentsofaras topromise that shewouldsteal intomychamber in thenight. “But,mydarling,”saidI,“canIbesurethatyouwillnotdeceiveme?CanIrelyuponthispromise?”“Certainly,”answeredshe;“youaretoohandsomeayounggentlemanformetowishtoimposeon;relyonit,Iwillkeepmyword.”

Isleptthatnightinachamberinwhichthereweresomeoatskept,thedoorofwhichItookcaretoleaveopen,thatmydamselmightcomeinatwhathourshepleased. I fellasleepwhile I laywaiting forher, though it isnotveryusual tothinkofsleepingonsuchoccasions;but theuneasinesscausedbytheAlguazil

the preceding night not having permitted me to take any repose, I felt moreinclined to rest than tomake love. I was soon awoke, however, by hearing aslightnoiseintheroom,whichIdidnotdoubtwasmyfairone;andanxioustoreceive her with the attention that her punctual observance of her promiseseemedtodeserve,“Approach,mycharmer,”saidI,inalowvoice,“Ihavebeenwaitingimpatientlyforyou.”Nooneanswered.Ithoughtthejadebehavedthustoprovokemydesires themore,andwith thisconvictionI leanthalfmybodyout of bed, and stretched outmy arms to seize her; andmy hands lighted onsomethingexceedinglysoft,butofsuchasoftnessasrevoltedagainstmyideas.Infact,itwastheearofanass,whohadlefthisstableandenteredmychamber,attractedbythesmelloftheoatsthatwerekeptthere.Thisanimal,whoseheadwasalmostaslowasthefloorwhenItouchedhim,raiseditonasudden,asapunishment for my sins, and gave me so violent a blow on the chin, that itloosened all my teeth, and filled my mouth with blood. I rose from my bedswearing, and with the intention of running my sword through this accursedbeast,who, fortunately, however, for him,was frightened at the noise Imade,and took to his heels. Iwas content, therefore, to lie down again,with cursesagainstlove,andrenewingtheoathIhadalreadymade,tobemorecautiousofitssnares.

Afewmomentsbeforeday-lightIwasjustbeginningtodozeagain,whenthemuleteer enteredmy chamber to giveme notice that breakfastwas ready, andthatifIwishedtoreachMalagonatanyreasonablehourthatday,Ihadnotimeto lose. Iwassoonupanddressed;andafterhavingeatenagoodbreakfastofwhatthehostchosetoprovideforme,Iwasjustgoingtomountmymule,whenshedirectedaviolentkickatme,whichwouldcertainlyhavecrippledmefortheremainderofmydayshadIbeenatagreaterdistance;butIwasluckilysocloseto the plaguy beast that she could not domemuch harm. “The devil take allfemales!” cried I; “I was born to be ill-treated by them.” To divert thecompanionsofmyjourney,andtoamusemyself,Irelatedtothemontheroadtheparticularsofmylateadventurewiththeass.Thisrecitalseemedparticularlydivertingand interesting to themuleteer,who toldus,afterhaving laughedhisbellyful, that Luzia,whichwas the servant’s name, had beenmore faithful tohim:thatshehadpassedthegreaterpartofthenightwithhim,andhegavemethispieceofinformationformyguidanceinfuture:thattheservantsininnswerealways considered the right of themuleteers, as a recompence for the servicetheydothelandlordinbringingtravellerstohishouse.

WearrivedatMalagonatnight,whenceIsetoutagainthenextday,withoutanyotherscurvytrickoffortuneexcepthavinglostonebottleofwine,whichI

missedwhenwehadgotaboutthreeorfourleaguesfromthetown.“AsIlive,”quothI,“thistheftbringstomyrecollection,andverifiestheoldproverbwhichdeclares,thatinMalagonthereisathiefineveryhouse,butinthatoftheAlcaidtwo,thefatherandtheson.UponthisthemuleteeraskedmeifIknewtheoriginofthisproverb.IansweredthatIdidnot,andthatIshouldbegladtohearit.IfImaybelieveanoldmanfromwhomIhadit,repliedhe,thisisthestory.

“Intheyear1236,whenDonFernando,surnamedtheHoly,KingofCastileandLeon,wasonedayatBeneventum,newswasbroughthimthattheChristiantroopshadenteredCordova,havingalreadypossessedthemselvesofthesuburbscalledAxarquia;butthattheMoors,towhomtheplacebelonged,andwhowerevery superior in numbers, were preparing to repulse them. This monarch,animated by his zeal for his religion, resolved to fly to the relief of theChristians,andsentnoticeofhisdesigntoDonAlvaroPerezdeCastro,andDonOrdonisAlvaroz,whowere both atMarts. These two lords,whowere at thattimethemostillustriouscavaliersinCastile,instantlyrepairedtotheKing,whoimmediatelysetoutashehaddetermined.Ashewasonlyaccompaniedbyaboutahundredmen,he issuedorders toallhiswarriorsandvassals,whomightbedispersedinthedifferenttownsandvillagesunderhisdominion,tofollowhimto Cordova. These orders would have been executed willingly, and withoutdelay,haditbeenpracticable;butitwasthenjustinthemiddleofthemonthofJanuary,andtheheavysnowandrainshadfalleninsuchabundanceastocauseall the rivers and springs to overflow: so that the troops were not able toadvance,butwereobligedtohaltateveryplacetheycameto.

“SogreatanumberofthemwereunderthenecessityofstoppingatMalagon,thatonesoldierwasobligedtobequarteredineveryhouse,andtwointhoseofthemoreopulentcitizens.Thecommanderofthesetroops,andhisson,whowasalsoanofficer,chancedtofall tothelotoftheAlcaid.Thoughthiswasaveryconsiderabletown,yettherewerenowsomanypeopleinit,andthetimesweresohard, thatprovisionsbecameextremely scarceanddear, andas the soldierswere not able to procure them at such excessive rates, they began to steal, toprevent their dying with hunger. While these things were going on, a merryconceitedpeasantwhohad justpassed through the town inhisway toToledo,metatroopofcavaliersontheroadnearOrgas,whoaskedhimwhencehecame.“FromMalagon,”repliedhe;“andwhatnewsfromthence?”inquiredoneofthecavaliers.Thepeasantmadethisanswer,whichhassincebecomeaproverb,“atMalagonthereisathiefineveryhouse,andinthatoftheAlcaidtwo,thefatherandtheson.”

“It is most unfair,” continued the muleteer, “that this proverb should be

appliedtotheinhabitantsofMalagon,sincetheywerethepersonsrobbed,andnotthosethatrobbedothers.Onthecontrary,Iwillmaintaintotheircredit,thatfromMadridtoSevillethereisnoinnwheretravellersarebettertreatedandlessimposedonthanatMalagon.Idonotpretendtosaythattherearenotknavesinthatplace,aswellaselsewhere;but Iassureyou therearemanyworse in thiscountry.”

Justasthemuleteerendedhisdiscourse,anothermuleteerofhisacquaintancecameuptous,ofwhomIaskedwhatwasgoingonatAlmagro,whencehehadjustcome,andheinformedmethattherewasacompanyofsoldiersthere,newlyraised,anddestined,hebelieved,forItaly.Iwasenrapturedatthisnews,andfeltdisposed to forgive fortune, now that she presentedmewith so favourable anopportunityofgratifyingmyviolentdesiretogotoGenoa,forallthehardshipsthatshehadhithertomademeendure.

CHAP.XVIII.

GuzmanoffershimselftoserveintheCompanynewlyraised.HisreceptionbytheCaptain,andhowtheyafterwardslivedtogether.

ALL my fear was, that the muleteer had been misinformed; but on enteringAlmagro, I was soon convinced that he had told the truth. I perceived a flagsuspended fromawindowofoneof thehouseswhere I supposed theCaptainhadtakenuphisresidence.

Iproceeded, therefore, toan inn in theneighbourhood,whereI tookupmylodging for that night; and in themorning I dressedmyself inmybest suit ofclothes, and finest linen, and went to church, where I heard mass, and fromthencetowaitupontheCaptain,whomIsalutedwithanaircalculatedtomakehimbelievemeayoungmanofquality, tellinghimthatIhadcomeexpresstoAlmagro to have the honour of serving theKing by joining his company.Mybehaviourandappearancehadthedesiredeffectofcastingamistbeforetheeyesofthisofficer,whowasanextremelywell-bredman.Hereceivedme,therefore,in themostpolitemanner, testifyinghis joyat findingmedisposed toentersoearly in the career of glory.He then thankedme for the preference I gavehiscompany,whichwouldbeproudtoreceiveamongthemacavalierofnoblerace,whichhecouldeasilyperceive Iwas.“All I regret,”addedhe,“is, thatall thepostsarefilledup;but,thoughIcannot,therefore,offeryouacommission,youshallatleastshareminewithme,andwewilllivetogetherasthoughyouwereCaptainaswellasmyself.”

Toconvincemethattheseexcessivecivilitieswerenotmerecompliments,heinsisted on my staying to dinner, and regaled me in good style. He did not,however,forgettochargeoneofhisservants,inprivate,toinquireofminewhoIwas.Mypage,whohadfrequentlyheardmestylemyselfDonJuandeGuzmanofthehouseofToral,answeredthisquestionbysayingthatthiswasthenameIbore, and thatwas all he knewofme.Thiswas reported to theCaptain,whomost firmly believed that Iwas certainly one of the younger branches of thatillustrioushouse.ThenextdayIinvitedhim,inmyturn,todinewithmeatmyinn,andsparednoexpense to render theentertainmentascompleteas if Ihadbeen in reality the cavaliermy valet had representedme to be. I did not stophere,butgavesomanyotherdinnerstotheCaptainandtheprincipalofficersofthecompany, that it isnowonder theyallesteemedme,andconsideredmeanhonour to theircorps.TheCaptain, inparticular,wassoextremelyattentive to

me,thatIwasfrequentlyquiteconfusedathiskindprofessionsofregard.It istrue,thattosecureacontinuanceofhisfriendship,Isenthim,almosteveryday,somelittlepresentbymypage,whichhewassokindastoacceptofasamarkofmyaffection.

Inthemeantimemypurse,havingnofluxandrefluxlikethesea,begantoempty itselfvisibly,without anyprospectofbeing filledagain.Whatwithmyclothes, my gallantries, and my travelling expenses, in addition to theseentertainments andpresents, I had already squandered awaymore thanhalf ofmyreals,withoutreckoningwhatIhadlostatplaywiththeofficers,themajorityofwhomknewbetterthanmyselfhowtotakeadvantageingamingofeveryturnof fortune in their favour. I had still, however, a sufficient sum remaining tosupportmyassumedcharacterforsometimelonger,whenordersweregivenformarching, and I followed the company, in quality of a volunteer, to the coast,wherewe had orders towait until the galleyswhichwere to transport us intoItaly,withother troops,arrivedatBarcelona,whereweweretoembark.But itwasGod’spleasurethatthisembarkmentshouldnottakeplacetillthreemonthsafterwards.This completedmy ruin; forbeingwilling to continue to livewiththeCaptainandotherofficersasIhadbegun,Iwassooncompelledtomakeuseofmycorpsdereserve; Imeanmy thirtypistoles,whichwereyet untouched,andwhichIsoonranthroughwithaslittlefrugalityasmyreals.WhenIfoundmyresourcesthusatanend,Iwasobligedtosellmyfineclothesandlinen,andtoget ridofmyvalet,whowent toseekhis fortuneelsewhere;andhavingnomoneytogamewith,Iceasedtoassociatewiththeofficers,whoguessedbuttoorightlythereasonsthatobligedmethustoaltermyconducttowardsthem.

Reflections now came thick upon the prodigal child; and though I had notgiven way to them while my money lasted, now that it was gone, at least amillionpresentedthemselvestomyimagination.Irecalledtomindallmypastfollies,andreproachedmyselfasseverelyasaprofessedpedagoguecouldhavedone,resolvingtomanagebetterforthefuture,asthoughIhadstillseveralbagsof reals in my portmanteau. I chiefly repented of having given such fineentertainmentstotheCaptain,whonolongerinvitedmetodinnerasusual,nowthatallmymoneywasgone.Theotherofficers,thinkingthatIhadnothingmoretolose, turnedtheirbacksuponme.Theserjeants,whohadbeforebeenin thehabit of visitingme as a secondCaptain, andwho had considered themselveshonouredbymycondescendingtoconversewiththem,nolongercamenearme.There was not a single soldier but avoided me; and I question if even theblackguardsthatfollowedthemwouldhavedeignedtoassociatewithme,hadIbeeninclinedtohavebeentheircomrade.Butitwasbutjust,aftersuchuseless

extravagance,thatIwaspunishedasIdeserved.Iftherewasanythingthatcouldconsolemeinmyunfortunatesituation itwas, thatduring thewholecourseofmyprosperity I hadnot committed the least knavery.This gavemyCaptain agoodopinionofme,who,believingasfirmlyaseverthatIwasayoungmanofhighbirth,stillretainedsomeesteemformeinmymisery.Hehadhimself toowell profitedbymy foolish conduct not to forgiveme from thebottomof hissoul; andwhen I calleduponhimoneeveninghe receivedmemuchasusual,withouttakinganynoticeofthesituationofmyaffairs,thoughhewasinrealitymuchaffected;andhecouldnotavoidsaying, tome,oneday that Iwasmoremelancholythanusual,“MydearGuzman,Ishouldindeedbehard-heartedandungratefulwere I insensible to your troubles, after themany proofs you havegivenmeof your friendship.But youhaveyet to learn thatmy fortune is butlittle better than your own; and I am sincerely afflicted that I am utterlyincapableofconvincingyouofmygoodwishesbymyactions.AllIcanpretendtoofferyouinyourpresentdistressisalodginginmyhouse,andthetableofmyservants; for myself, I am obliged to dine out, from my utter incapacity toreceivemyfriendsathome.”

This proposal,which he did notmakewithout a blush,was tendered in soobligingamannerthatIacceptedit.Pridebecomesnobody,butstilllessamanwhohasnomoney,andknowsnotwheretolayhishead;itisacameleon,whichlivesonlyonthewind.FromhiscompanionIwasnowbecomehisservant.ButIowehimthispieceofjustice:insteadoftreatingmelikeacommonservant,hebehavedinthemostconsideratemannertowardsme.Whenhewishedmetodoanythingforhim,herequestedinsteadofcommandingit;and,onmyside,Iwasalwaysmoreanxiousthantheotherdomesticstomakemyselfusefultohim,thatI might preserve his friendship, and not eat the bread of idleness; and I socompletelysucceededinmydesiretopleasehim,byanticipatinghiseverywish,that, believing me to be faithful, and even prudent, though I had sufficientlyprovedmyself the reversebymy formerdissipations,he resolved tomakemeacquaintedwith the present state of his affairs, to convinceme that he placedentireconfidenceinme.

He confessed to me then that he was so much reduced, that a few jewelswhichhepossessedwerehisonlyresource.“Canyouguess,”addedhe,“whathas reducedme to this extremity?”—the time thatwas consumed in solicitingmyemployment,andthegreatpresentsIwasobligedtomaketoobtainit.Yes,wereItobeginlifeafresh,Iwouldrenouncesuchaprofession,notwithstandingthe desire that every Spanish gentleman naturally has to acquire glory in thearmy.IcannotreflectonwhatIhavesubmittedtowithoutblushing;for,besides

themoneythatIhaveexpended,howmanywholedayshaveIpassedwithmyhatinmyhand,soliciting,flattering,bowingtotheground,kickingmyheelsatlevees, sometimes to speak to one person, sometimes to meet with another,cringing,actingaservant’spart,andathousandothermeannessesofwhichIamashamed! But themost provoking treatment that Imetwith, andwhich I feltmostsensibly,wasonthedayprecedingthatonwhichIhadbeenpromisedmycommission.Afterhavingconsumedmorethaneightmonthsinsolicitationsinthemanner Ihave justdescribed toyou, Iaccompaniedmypatronashecameout of the palace, and conducted him,with themost profound respect, to thestepsofhiscarriage,whichwasinwaitingforhim,butunfortunatelyputmyhatonamomentbefore thecarriagedroveoff.TheMinisternoticed this,dartedahaughtylookatme,andsoonconvincedmethatthisaccidenthadoffendedhim,formycommissionwasnotdeliveredtomeforabovefourmonthsafter.Ievenrantheriskoflosingbothmytroubleandmymoneybynotobtainingitatall.

“God deliver every honest man,” continued he, raising his eyes towardsHeaven, “from personswho possess power and bad dispositions united!Howblind are these idols of theCourt,who expect to be adored like deities!Theymustsurelyhaveforgottenthattheyarebutmiserablecomedians,appointedtoplayprincipalcharacters,andthatattheendofthepiece,thatistosay,oftheirlives,theymustleavethestagelikeourselves,andbethoughtofnomore.”

Iwassoaffectedbythisrelation,thatIfeltmoreinterestedinmyCaptain’smisfortunes thanmy own; and assured him, in themost impressive termsmyheart coulddictate, that therewasnothing Iwouldnotundertake forhim,andthatIwouldwillinglyexposemylifetobeofservicetohim.Hethankedmeformygoodwishes.“Butwhatassistance,”addedhe,smiling,“canIexpect fromyouinyourpresentcondition?”“Thatweshallsee,”answeredI;“forthoughIamyoung,necessityinspireswit,andmaysupplymydeficiencyofexperience.Leave it tome to findyou themeansof living at easeuntilwe embark.”TheCaptainsmiledagainat thesewords,and,withoutmakinganyreply,shookhishead,toshewmethatheplacedbutlittlerelianceonprofessionsdictatedbymyinconsideratezealtoservehim.Hadheknownmytalentshewouldhaveformedadifferentopinion;butIsoonobligedhimtodomejustice.

As the galleys were a long while ere they arrived, we were obliged to bebilleted, upon short allowance, in the different villages, and frequentlymovedourquarters.AteveryhouseI leftadozenbillets,whichbroughtus inat leasttwelverealseach,andfromsomeofthemoreopulentinhabitantsfifty.Formyownpart, Igainedadmittance intoeveryhouseat freecost,withoutquarteringmyselfonanyinparticular;andIneverfailedtoleaveproofsateachthatIhad

the perfect use ofmy hands. I really think that Iwould even have carried offwater from their wells, rather than have gone away empty-handed. By thesemeansIsocompletelyre-establishedmyCaptain’sfinances,thathewasenabledtokeepopentableagainasbefore;andthedexterityofmyhandssuppliedhimabundantlywithgoodcheer,atacheap rate: fowls,capons,geese,pullets, andpigeons, fell as thick as hail into the kitchen, and hams were not wanting tocompletethelarder.

Ifbychancethemasterofahousehappenedtocatchmeinthefact,incaseitwerebut a small theft Imadea jestof it, and thoughagreater, theworst thatcouldhappentomewastobecarriedbeforemyCaptain,whoreprimandedmeina severemanner, and sometimescausedme tobe imprisoned ina chamber,whereIreceivedbyhisordersahundredlasheswhichIneverfeltatall,thoughIalwaysmadetheroomringwithcriesasifIwerebeingtorninpieces,thoughIwasnever somuch as touched all thewhile.This satisfied the injuredparties,and saved the honour of the officer. Sometimes the complainants themselveswould intercede with the Captain onmy behalf, conjuring him out of pity toforgiveme.

Jests like these,however,generallygrowserious.After thesepetty thefts, IwasnotcontentuntilIventuredupongreater.Forthispurpose,Iselectedfiveorsixofthemostresolutefellowsinourcompany;wealldisguisedourselves,andwentonthehighway,wherewestoppedseveraltravellers,who,byimmediatelysurrendering their money, prevented the crimes which their resistance mighthave caused us to commit. Our Captain was no sooner informed of thesedangerousproceedings,than,dreadingtheconsequencesbothtohimselfandme,he positively forbade my carrying on this game any longer, desiring me toconfinemyselftomoreinnocentamusementforthefuture,suchasfindingfalsemusters,inwhichscienceIwasaperfectadept.Byafalsebeard,orapatchonthe eye, I could easily make the same soldier receive pay three times over,withoutdetection.Inshort,IbecamesousefultotheCaptain,thatheconfessedto me that my industry alone was worth much more to him than the wholeincomethathederivedfromhisCompany.

CHAP.XIX.

GuzmanproceedswiththeCompanytoBarcelona,whereheplaysatrickuponaJeweller,andembarksforItaly.

THE galleys at length arrived at Barcelona. As soon as we received thisintelligence,wemarchedthithertoembark;butasthewindwasnotfavourable,we were obliged to remain a considerable time in that city, where somethingmore thanmyusual addresswasnecessary toenableus to live inplentyat socheaparateasbefore.IsoonremarkedthatmyCaptainwasrelapsingintohisformer despondency, and I easily guessed the cause: well might I know thenatureofhiscomplaint,sinceIwasthephysicianwhohadalreadycuredhimofit.

For this once, however, I felt at a loss how to prescribe, being entirelyunacquaintedwiththemapofBarcelona,andthedispositionofitsinhabitants.Ididnot,however,forgettotendermyexertionsasaspecifictomypatient,whoreplied,inaseriousmanner,thatwehadnolongerpeasantstodealwith,andthatI must be very cautious what I did. Difficulties tended only to quicken myapprehension, and an idea occurred tome which I resolved to follow. I havealreadytoldyouthattheCaptainhadsomejewelswhichhereservedforarainyday. Amongst these jewels was a gold Reliquary, set round with diamonds,whichheintendedtodisposeofforsubsistenceuntilweembarked.Irequestedhimtoshewitme,andaskedifhecouldplacesomuchconfidenceinmeastoentrustittomeforadayortwo,addingthatIwouldreturnittohimwithusury.“Oh!Oh!mylittleGuzman,”answeredhewithasmile,“whatpieceofrogueryhaveyounowincontemplation?”“Youhaveonly,”repliedI,“toletmehavetheReliquary,andkeepupyourspirits.If,notwithstandingalltheprecautionsthatIcan take to perform safely the trick that I have in my head, I should be sounfortunateastomeetwithanycheckfromjustice,Icanatleastpledgemyselftosaveyourhonor,andtobearalltheillconsequencesofitmyself.”

MyCaptaincouldholdoutnolonger,butgavemetheReliquary,saying,thathewishedmesuccess inmyenterprize,whatever itmightbe.Nobody, indeed,hadmoreinterest init thanhimself, towhomall theprofitwouldaccrue.IputthejewelintoapursewhichIhidinmybosom,thestringofwhichItiedtothebuttonsofmydoublet; afterwhich Iwent to the first Jeweller’s I couldmeet,who,fortunatelyforme,waswellknownin thecityasanotedusurer. IaskedhimifhewasinclinedtopurchaseafineReliquary.Ishewedithim,andcould

easily perceive that he liked it very well, although he pretended not to thinkmuchofit.Ididnotwaituntilheaskedmetheusualquestions,buttoldhimthatIwasasoldierinacompanynewlyraised,andthatwasdestinedforItaly;thatIhadspentallmymoney,andhavingnootherresource,foundmyselfreducedtodisposeofthisjewel,thatImightnotbeentirelydestitute.“Youareatliberty,”addedI,“togoandascertainfrommyCaptain,fromtheotherofficers,andevensoldiers,whoIam;theywillinformyouthatIamstyledDonJuandeGuzman:upontheirreportofme,youcanmakeupyourmindwhetheryouwillbuytheReliquaryornot.WhileyouaremakingtheseinquiriesIwillgoandwaitforyouonthequay,whereIhavealittlebusinesstosettle.”

TheJeweller,whowasnotwillingtoallowthisjeweltoescapehim,tookhiscloak immediately,andhastened to theplacewhere I toldhimwe lodged,anddidnotfailtoquestionseveraloftheofficersandsoldiers,astothecharacterofa certain Don Juan de Guzman who described himself as belonging to theircompany.Everymanofthem(forIwasgenerallybeloved)assuredhimIwasayoungman of quality,who intended to pass over to Italywith them, and thattheyhadknownmemakeamostbrilliantfigure.Inshort,theyspokesowellofme, that he soon returned to look forme on the quay,where he had no greatdifficultytofindme,forIhadnootherbusinesstherebuttowaitforandentraphim.Herequestedme,assoonashecameup,toallowhimtoseetheReliquaryagain,whichhewascometotreatfor.“Willingly,”repliedI,“butletusretirealittle,asIhavenowishtohaveacrowdassembledaboutus.”

Ithendrewthejeweloutofmypurseandhandedittohim:helookedatitonallsides,andafterhavingexamineditminutely,askedmewhatIwouldhaveforit.Itoldhimtwohundredcrowns;andthoughthatwasnothalfitsvalue,theoldusurerpretendedtobequiteastonishedatsuchaprice,andbegantotellmethatthe goldwas by nomeans of the finest quality.Besideswhichhe foundgreatfault with the workmanship, as well as with the diamonds: nevertheless, heofferedmeonehalf,andIwassurprisedinmyturn.“Thatwillnotdo,”criedI,“youtakeadvantageofmysituation;butdistressedasIamformoney,Ideclarethatyoushallnothaveitforlessthanahundredandfiftycrowns.”

Hestillcontinuedtomakesomanyobjections,thatIwasatlastcontentedtoconclude the bargain at a hundred and twenty, and he requested me toaccompanyhimtohisshoptoreceivethemoney.ThisIrefused,tellinghimthatIexpectedaperson tomeetmeon thequay,and, therefore,couldnot leave it;thatifhewouldreturnhomeandprocurethesumagreedon,hewouldfindmeagaininthesameplace.TheJeweller,findingthatIcouldnotbeprevailedontoaccompanyhim,andbeingapprehensivethatthepersonwhomIexpectedmight

be another Jeweller, whom I had appointed tomeet on the same subject, ranhome with great haste, lest he should be deprived of his bargain before hisreturn.

Theoldroguesoonreturnedtomeagain,quiteoutofbreath,bringingwithhiminasmallbag thehundredand twentycrowns,whichhecounted intomyhand.IrequestedthebagofhiminwhichIput themoney,andofferedhiminexchange the purse that theReliquarywas kept in; but affecting to find greatdifficultyinuntyingthestrings,whichIhadpurposelywellfastened,Isnatched,as though from impatience, aknifewhich Iobserved in a sheath athisgirdle,and cut themasunder.Although this action seemed to surprise hima little, hewassofarfromguessingthecause,thathedepartedandwalkedtowardshome,wellsatisfiedwithhispurchase,andveryfarfromsuspectingthesnarethatIhadlaidforhim.

Afterhavingallowedhim toproceeda fewsteps, Ibeckoned tooneofmycomrades,asgreatarogueasmyself,whomIhadstationednearathandsoastobe readywhencalled for, anddesiredhim tocarry thecrowns toourCaptain.ThenIranasfastasIcouldaftermyJeweller,forIhadnotlostsightofhim,andovertookhimatapartwhere the roadsmet,where therehappened tobesomesoldiersassembled,towhomIpointedhimout,cryingaloud,“stopthief,fellowsoldiers,stopthief!forGod’ssakestopthatoldrascalthere,whohasjustrobbedme; let him not escape!” The soldiers, some of whom belonged to our owncompany,stoppedthepoorJewellerimmediately,askinghimhowhehadgivenmecausetocomplainthusofhim.Hewasatfirstsobewilderedwithfearandastonishment, that he had not the power of uttering a word. Had he spoken,however,itwouldnothaveavailedhim,forhisvoicewouldhavebeendrownedby that of his accuser: nobody was to be heard but myself, who kept up acontinuedroar;andtomakemoreimpressiononthesoldiers,Ifelldownonmyknees before them, and forcing some tears into my eyes, implored theirassistance.

“Gentlemen,”saidI,“youseebeforeyouinthatoldrogueoneofthegreatesthypocritesinSpain.Ichancedjustnowtobestandingbyhimonthequay,wherehe remarked that I hadapurse inmybosom,andaskedmewhatwas in it? aReliquary, answered I, which my master the Captain accidentally left at thebed’s-head thismorning,and that Ihave takencareof togive it tohimagain;uponthis,theoldrascalwhomyouhavesecuredrequestedmeinacivilmannertoshewithim,tellingmethathewasaGoldsmith,andwascuriousinjewels.Isatisfiedhiscuriosity,andheaskedmeifIwoulddisposeofthisReliquary.Thatcannotbe,saidI,foritismymaster’s;atthesametimeIreplaceditinmypurse

whichwas tied tomy button;whereuponmy thief,while he amusedmewithwords,drewforthaknifewhichhehadinasheathathisgirdle,andsuddenlycutthestrings,theendsofwhicharestilltobeseen.Takethetrouble.Gentlemen,ofsearchinghim, Ibegofyou,”addedI,“andyouwill find thepursecontainingthejewelsomewhereabouthisperson,forIhavefollowedhimsoclosely,thathehasnothadanopportunityofotherwisedisposingofit.”

The soldiers instantly began to search him: they drew forth the pursecontainingtheReliquaryfromhisbosomwherehehadplacedit,andperceivingthatthestringshadreallybeencut,theynolongerdoubtedtheGoldsmith’sguilt:invaindidheprotestandswear that Ihadsold ithim; theywouldnotbelievehim, it being so extremely improbable that an old and experienced Jewellercould consent to purchase so rich a Reliquary of a young soldier, withoutsuspecting that it must have been stolen. “Once more,” cried the accused, “Iassureyou that Ipaid thisyoungman for theReliquaryahundredand twentycrowns ingold,which I reckoned intohishand,andwhichhemustnowhaveabouthim:youhaveonly to searchhimalso to find thesegoldcoins,which Ipaidhimonlyafewminutessince.”Thesoldiers,tosatisfyhim,rummagedmypockets out; and finding nomoney about me, they began to revile himmostunmercifully, and even to beat him. Nevertheless, as he insisted on beingconductedtoaJudge,theycarriedusbothbeforeone.

HereIrelatedmycaseinthesamemannerasIhadreportedittothesoldiers,who, upon being interrogated by the Judge, said more than was sufficient toconvince him that the Jeweller had really seized this Reliquary from me byforce;inadditiontowhich,thiscitizenbeingsowellknownasacovetousmanwho would not scruple at a trifle, they were the more disposed to think himguilty. The Magistrate, however, out of consideration for his family, whichconsistedofsomeofthefirstpersonsinthecity,wascontenttoreprimandhimseverely,anddeliveredthejewelintomyhandsagain,desiringmetocarryittomymaster,whichIdidimmediately.

When I related thisadventure to theCaptain,he returned thanks toHeaventhatithadendedsowell:hehadfeared,andwithsomereason,thatIshouldhavecome but scurvily off in so slippery an affair, and my boldness made himtremble.Althoughhewastheonlypersonthatprofitedbymyrogueries,yetheresolvedtogetridoftherogue,fearingthatIshouldatlastruinhimaswellasmyself by some unlucky adventure. He was impatient for the day when weshould embark, which at length arrived. The galleys left the harbour ofBarcelona, and transported us in safety to Genoa, where we were no soonerlanded,thanmyCaptainsaidtomeinprivate,“mydearGuzman,wearenowin

the countrywhither you have been so extremely anxious to come,” for I hadcommunicatedtohimmyintentionsofvisitingmykindred;“wemustnow,withyour leave,begin to thinkofparting,forIamnotmoreafraidofall thedevilstogetherthanoftheconsequencesoftheselegerdemaintricksofyours:farewell,myfriend,”addedhe,puttingapistole intomyhand,“Imuchregret that Iamnotinasituationtomakeyouabetteracknowledgmentforyourservices.”Thussaying, he departed, leaving me so thunderstruck with his compliment, that Icouldnotutteraword.ButwhatcouldIhavesaidtohim?wasitnecessarytorepresenttohimallthedangersIhadfacedonhisaccount?hewaswellawareofthem,forwhatelsewasitthatcausedmydismissal.Icouldnotbesurprisedathis behaviour. I had only the common fate of rogues, who, like vipers andscorpions,aremadeuseof,whileanythingusefulcanbeextractedfromthem,andafterwardsthrowntothedogs.

CHAP.XX.

GuzmanhavingarrivedatGenoa,resolvestopresenthimselfbeforehiskindredthere.Howhewasreceivedbythem.

ASsoonasIhadquittedthecaptain,orratherwhenIfoundmyselfabandonedbyhim,myonlythoughtwashowtoconsolemyselfunderthismisfortune,andIsoon forgot it,when I reflected that IwasnowatGenoa,where Ihad so longdesired tobe. I inquired in thecityaboutmy relations, andwas informed thattheywerethemostrichandpowerfulpersonsinthatrepublic.Iwasoverjoyedatthisnews,forIdidnotdoubt thatIshouldreceivethegreatestassistancefromthem,whentheyknewthatIwasabranchoftheirnoblefamily.

I lookedabout foranother innwhere Icould live thriftily,until I shouldberatheramoredecentfiguretovisitmyrelations.Mypistolecouldnotdomuchforme,partofwhichIwasobligedtoexpendinprocuringapairofshoeswhichIwassadlyinwantof;myclotheswerealsomuchwornaswellasmystockingsandhat,sothatmywholedresswasinaruinouscondition.“Somuchthebetter,”saidI:“myrelationscanneversuffermetoremainlonginsuchastatetobeadisgracetothem.Letmequickly,therefore,makemyselfknowntothem,thatImaythesoonerberelievedfrommymisery.”

Ithenimmediatelysetforwardwiththisintention,andaskedthewaytotheirhouse, boasting to every one I spoke to that I had the honour to be of theirfamily, which was soon reported to them by some of their enemies, who,thinking that the sight of a lad sowretchedly equippedwould afford themnogreat pleasure, were the more anxious to communicate to them the agreeablenews. My generous relations were almost desperate. They looked upon mypovertyasan infamousdisgrace to them;and Iverilybelieve, thatcould they,withoutdangertothemselves,havecausedmetobeponiarded,theywouldnothave hesitated a moment, for such practices were but too common in thatcountry.But, as Iwasalready talkedofallover thecity,wheremy fatherhadbeensowellknown,ifIhaddisappearedallofasudden,thecausewouldhavebeeneasilyguessed.

Donotbesurprised,reader,atmyillopinionofmyrelations;hadyoubeenintheirplaceIdonotthinkthatyouwouldhavebehavedmuchbettertowardsme.Supposeyourselfforamomentasrichastheywere,andtellmecandidlyhowyouwouldhavereceivedabeggar,whocomesuptoyouassuddenlyasifhehadjust fallen from the clouds, and salutesyou in themiddleof the street saying,

goodmorrow,uncle,orbrother,Iamasonofyourbrother,orofyourmother;wouldyounotbeextremelymortified?andyetIwassoimprudentastoaddresstheminthispublicmanner:thusIneversalutedoneofthemthatdidnottreatmewiththetitlesofrascalandimpostor,accompanyingtheseepithetswiththreats;“takeouradvice,”saidthey,“anddonotremainmuchlongeratGenoa,lestyoupassbutanunpleasanttimehere.”InvaindidInamemyfather,protestingthatherankedamongthenobleGenoese;theyseemedalltohaveforgottenthattherehadeverbeensuchapersoninexistence.

OneeveningImetavenerablelookingoldman,whoaccostedmeinapoliteand insinuatingmanner: “my son,” saidhe, “is it not youwhohave reason tocomplainofcertaintitledpersonageswhohavenotchosentoacknowledgeyouforoneof theirnobleblood?”Iansweredintheaffirmative,andtoldhimwhowas my father. “I recollect him well,” replied the old man, “and there arecertainlyinthiscityseveraloftheprincipalnobleswhoarehisrelations.Icaneven introduceyou toabankerwhomusthavebeenamost intimate friendofyourfather’s,andwhoto-morrow,forit istoolateto-day,will,Idoubtnot,behappy to satisfy you in every particular concerning your family. In the meantime,”continuedhe,“comeand takeupyour lodgingatmyhouse: I feelquiteindignant at the behaviour of your cousins towards you, who ought rather tohavereceivedyouwiththegreatestaffection:butfollowme,andbeassuredthatthebankerwillputitinyourpowertobefullyavengedofthemfortheirhard-heartedness.”

Iacceptedtheoldman’sofferofalodginginhishousebyreturningthankstoheavenbysofortunatearencounter.HisappearancewassuchthatIdidnot intheleastmistrusthim.Hehadagoodnaturedseriousair,hisbaldheadandwhitebeardrenderinghisappearancetrulyvenerable;hewalkedwithastaff,andworealongrobe;infactIlookeduponhimasanotherSt.Paul.Whenwearrivedathishouse,whichappearedtomelikeamagnificenthotel,aservantcametomeethimtotakeoffhislongrobe;buttheoldgentlemanfromanexcessofpolitenesswould not part with it, but sent the servant away, after having communicatedsomething to him in Italian, which was so much Hebrew to me. He thenconductedmeintoalargeparlour,whereweconversedconcerningtheaffairsofSpain for above an hour, and from themproceeded insensibly to those of ourown family, respecting which he seemed extremely curious, questioning memore particularly concerning my mother; and I answered him in the mostcautious manner. This discourse was beginning to grow tedious, when theservantreturned;theyhadanothershortconversationtogetherinItalian,whichIunderstoodnobetterthantheformer.Butimmediatelyafterwards,thegoodold

man addressed himself to me in Spanish: “I suppose,” said he, “you have ofcourse supped, youmust beweary, and it is time to be a bed.We shallmeetagain in the morning.” Then turning to his servant, “Antonio,” continued he,“shewthisgentlemantothefinestchamberinthehouse.”

Ihadmuchmoreinclinationtoeatthantosleep,forIwasliterallyhalfdyingwithhunger;havingunfortunatelydinedverysparinglyatmyinn thatday;formy pistole was just at an end. That I might not, however, presume upon thegoodnessofanhostwhoseemedsodisposedtobeofservicetome,Ifollowedhisservant,as if Ihadagoodbellyful,andwascarried throughanenfiladeofseven or eight rooms paved with alabaster, each vying with the others inmagnificence.Fromthenceweenteredagallerywhichledintoafinechamberinwhichtherewasaveryrichbedwithsuperbtapestry.“Youseeyourchamber,”saidAntonio, “and thebed that is destined foryou:none are allowed to sleepherebutprincesandsomefewofmymaster’snearestrelatives.”

Afterhavingallowedmetoadmiretherichnessofthefurnitureforawhile,this servant offered toundressme, but I declinedhis assistance for verygoodreasons; my ragged shirt was by no means in a state to be exhibited; and inadditiontothis, therestofmyclotheswerenowofsoveryfinea texture, thattheyrequiredahandmoreinterestedintheirwelfarethanhiswas,totakethemoffdelicately.Eitherthroughmalice,however,orthathethoughtIdeclinedhisgood natured offer merely from politeness, he returned to the charge, andseemingdeterminedtoassistmeinspiteofmyteeth,hecaughtholdofme,anddrewoffoneofmysleevessosuddenly, thathadInotpreventedhimwithmyotherhand,hewouldundoubtedlyhavetornittopieces.Ithenentreatedhimina peevish tone to leaveme tomy rest, and he preventedmy further anger bydesistingasIdesired.I retired to thesideof thebed, threwoffmyragswhichwereheldtogetheronlybyafewlaces,andjumpedintobed,thesheetsofwhichwerecleanandcompletelyperfumed.Thisdone,Itoldtheservanthemighttakeawaythecandle.“Iamnotsoinconsiderate,”repliedhe:“itwouldbethemeansofcausingyoutopassaveryuneasynight;foritisverycommonforlargebats,whichareverynumerousinthiscountry,toconcealthemselvesinchamberswithsoloftyaceiling,andyouwillbemuchdisturbedbythemifyouremainwithoutlight.Addtothis,”continuedhe,“therearecertainevilspiritsthatfrequenttheprincipalhouses in thiscity,bywhomyouwill infalliblybe tormented, ifyouneglect tokeep lightedcandles in theroom, thebrightnessofwhich, it issaid,theyareafraidof.”Hetoldmeallthistalewithaningenuousair,andIlistenedto himwith all the credulity of an infant, instead ofmistrusting thisAntonio,whose knavish countenance ought to have been sufficient to have excitedmy

suspicions.Nosoonerhadheleftthechamber,thanIgotoutofbedandboltedthedoor,

lessfromfearofbeingrobbed,thaninthehopeofthussecuringmyselffromthepersecutionoftheaforesaidspirits.Consideringmyselftheninperfectsafety,Ilaydownagain,andreflectedonthebenevolenceofmyvenerablelandlord.Sofarfromsuspectinghimofanybaddesign,which,hadIpossessedalittlemoreexperience,Ishouldnothavefailedtohavedone,Irepresentedtomyselfthathecouldbenootherthanoneofmynearestrelatives,whohadnotchosentomakehimselfknowntomeovernight,thathemightsurprisemethemoreagreeablyinthemorning.“Iwouldlayagoodwager,”saidItomyself,“thatwhenIwaketo-morrowmorning,Ishallfindatailorinwaitingtotakemeasureofmeforafinesuitofclothes.ImayrestassuredthatinfutureIshallneverwantforanything,and that I have not lost my labour in coming to Italy.” Flattered by theseagreeable thoughts,my senseswerebeguiledbydegrees into amost profoundsleep.

AlthoughAntoniohadtoldmethattheevilspiritsweresoaversetolight,mycandlesdidnotsecuremefromthepersecutionoffourfiguresintheshapeofsomanydevilswhoenteredmychamber.ItwassometimebeforeIheardthenoisecreatedbythesedemons;butasitwasveryfarfromtheirintentiontorespectmyrepose,theyadvancedtowardsthebed,drewthecurtains,twoofthemseizedmebythearms,andtheothertwobythelegs,anddraggedmeoutofbed.AtlengthI awoke; and finding myself thus dangling in the air in the clutches of fourdevils, Iwasso terriblyfrightenedthatIwasmoredeadthanalive.Theywereeachhabited exactly as thedevil is represented;withhuge long tails, frightfulvizards,andhornsontheirheads.IhadjustsufficientsenseremaininginmetoinvoketheassistanceofsomeSaintwhosenameoccurredtomeatthemoment.Buthad Iofferedupprayers, theywouldhavebeenequallyunavailing.Theseapparitionswerenottobedrivenfromtheirpurpose;exorcismsevenwouldhavebeen useless, for the devils that I had to deal with had been baptized. Theyplacedmeinoneofmyblankets,andeachtakingacorner,begantotossmeintheairwithsuchviolence,thattheythrewmetotheceilingateverytoss,againstwhichIexpectedeverymoment thateithermyheadoroneofmyarmswouldhavebeenbroken.Buttheycontentedthemselveswithonlybruisingme,thoughtheydidnotceasetomakemevault inthismanneruntil theywerecompletelyfatigued, or rather until their noses informed them thatmy fear grew laxative.They then placed me in bed again, covered me over as they found me,extinguishedthelight,andvanishedthesamewayastheyhadentered.

In this pitiable condition I remained until day-break; and with the most

dreadfulsensationoffearstillonmymind,Imadeanefforttogetup,withtheintentionofhasteningasquicklyaspossibleoutofahousewherethedutiesofhospitalityhadbeen so scurvily fulfilled.But I couldnot rise,ordressmyselfwithoutthegreatestdifficultyandpain,thecauseofwhichIcouldnotrememberwithoutbestowingathousandcursesontheoldrascalwhohadcausedmetobethus cruelly treated. He no longer seemed tome that personage soworthy ofveneration,no longer thatbenevolentcharacter themeetingwithwhomhadsomuchdelightedme,butanoldsorcerer,destinedtobedamnedfromthecreationoftheworld.

Before I quitted the chamber, I was curious to know how thesemalignantspiritscouldhaveenteredit.Ifirstexaminedthedoor,andfindingitstillboltedasIhadleftitbeforeIfellasleep,Icouldnotreasonablyimaginethattheyhadfound their way to me by that means. But having lifted up the hangings, Iperceivedalargewindowcoveredbythem,whichopenedintothegallery.Thiswasstillopen,theapparitionsnothavingtakenthetroubletocloseitafterthem.Imadenottheleastnoise,lestthereshouldbesomethingstillinreserveforme,andthoughtofnothingbuthowtoextricatemyselffromthiscursedplace.Ihadalready left the roomwith this view,when ImetAntonio in the gallery,whoinformedme thathismasterwaswaiting formeat thenearest church.All theanswerImadewastorequesthimtoshewmetothestreet-door,whichhedidwith as much sang-froid as if he had not been one of the goblins who hadamusedthemselvessomuchatmyexpence.Inosoonergotoutofdoors,thanIscampered off as if I had not a bruise aboutme.What wonderful strength isimpartedbyfear!Iranasfastasmylegswouldcarryme.

AssoonasIconsideredmyselfinperfectsafety,myhunger,whichhadbeensuspendedforawhilebyfear,becamesuch, that Iwasobliged tosatisfy itbybuying some baked meat and a slice of bread, which I amused myself witheatingas Iwalkedalong. Ididnotstop till Ihadgotquiteoutof thecity,andthenseeingatavernbeforeme,Iwentinanddrankaglassofgoodwine.Thissocompletelyreanimatedmycourage,thatafteraslightrepast,Iwasabletosetoutagain, taking the road towardsRome, reflectingon theaffectionate reception Ihadmetwith frommy relations, and especially frommyold friend. Imade asolemnoathnevertoforgetthedetestablenightthatthisgreybeardedoldwolfhadalluredmeunderhisroof,forwhichIresolvedtobefullyavengedonhimtheveryfirstopportunity.

CHAP.XXI.

WhatbecomesofGuzmanafterhavingleftGenoa.

I TRAVELLED some distance fromGenoa, without somuch as turningmy headoncetowardsthatcity,asthoughIfearedthatthesightofitwouldhavepetrifiedme. I resembled one of thosewho escaped from the battle of Roncesvalles; Iwalkedonwithouthavinganydeterminedroute,thoughitwasmywishtogotoRome.AtlengthIreachedatownabouttenmilesfromGenoa,whereIstoppedsome hours to rest myself, and spent what remained of my pistole. ThenresigningmyselfentirelyintothehandsofProvidence,Iresumedmyjourney.

ItwaswellformethatIhadbeenaccustomedtomisfortunes,andthatIhadalreadymadesomeprogressintheartofbegging.Whatwouldhavebecomeofmewithout this resource? I shouldhavebeenmuch tobepitied.Anyone thatpossessesthetalentofexcitinghisneighbour’scharitymaytravelalloverItalywithoutmoney.ImustrenderthisjusticetoItaly,thatnonationintheworldhasmorecharityinit.Inproofofwhichassertion,IreachedRomewithoutspendingasinglesousofallthemoneythatIwasabletocollectontheroad,andwhichIcarefully reserved. In thedifferentvillages throughwhich Ipassed Ihadmoremeat and bread given me than I could possibly consume. Mendicity in thatcountryisafineresourceforpersonsofspiritinbadcircumstanceswhocannotmake up their minds to be industrious. For my own part, I was so naturallyinclinedtothattradethatIwishedfornobetter.ImustconfessthatwhenIfoundmyselfinthecapitaloftheCatholicWorldwithmoneyenoughinmypockettobuyanewsuitofclothes,Iwasatfirstsomewhattemptedtoemployitthatway,withdesigntooffermyservicestosomenobleman;butIhadcourageenoughtoresistthisdesire,whichIconsideredinnootherlightthanasatemptationofthedevil.

“Oh!Oh!Guzman,”saidItomyself,“doyouwishtogiveyourselfthesameairshereasatToledo;suppose,whenyouhaveexpendedallyourlittlehoardindress,youshouldbesounluckyastofindnoonewillingtoemployyou,whodoyouthinkwillfeedyou,myfriend?doyouimaginethatafinenewcoatislikelytoexcitecharity?undeceiveyourself.Youwillbemore likely to farebetter inyourpresentdress.Bewise, and ratherendeavour toprofitbyyourold folliesthan to seekafternewones.Becontentedasyouare,anddonot resumeyourformervanities.”Reasoningwithmyselfinthismanner,Itiedupmypursewitha double knot, and addressing myself to the money within it: “Remain thus

secure,”saidI,“untilIfindabetteropportunityofmakingtheeuseful.”IbeganthentotraversethestreetsofRomeinmyrags,solicitingalmslike

one who believed himself amaster in the art, but whowas in reality amereapprenticeincomparisonwiththeprofessorsofthatcountry.Amongthesewasayoungfellow,whoremarkingthemannerofbeggingthatIadopted,foundthatIrequired a few lessons,which hewas kind enough to giveme.We associatedtogether; and to render me useful to the society, he taught me the differentmannersandtheseveraltonesinwhichalmsshouldbeaskedofdifferentpeople,andthatthesamespeechwouldnotalwaysdo.“Men,”saidhe,“arenotintheleast affected by the plaintive and lamentable tones adopted bymost beggars.Theywill bemuchmore likely to put their hands in their pockets,when youimploretheirassistanceboldlyforGod’ssake.”“Asforwomen,”continuedhe,“as somepay theirdevotions to theHolyVirgin,andothers toour ladyof theRosary, it is by one of these that wewheedle them. It has frequently a goodeffect also to pray that theymay be preserved from allmortal sin, from falsewitnesses, the power of traitors, and from slanderous tongues: suchwishes asthese, pronounced in energetic terms, and in an impressive tone of voice,willalmostalwaysmaketheirpursesflyopentoassistyou.”

Hetaughtmemoreoverhowtoexcitethecompassionoftherich;andwhatisstill more difficult of professed devotees. In a word, he gave me such goodinstructions,andImadesogoodauseofthem,thatIsoonreceivedmoremoneythanIcouldspend.IwasalreadyperfectlyacquaintedwithRome,fromthePopedowntotheverylowestscullioninthecity.Forfearoftroublingmycustomerstoooften, Idivided thecity intosevenparts,allottingoneforeveryday in theweek.Ineverfailedtopresentmyselfattheseveralchurchesonholidays,whereIwas sure to pick up something.As to the pieces of bread thatwere usuallygivenatdoorsofprivatehouses,IsoldwhatIdidnotwanttodistressedobjectswhowereashamedtobeg,butwho,bybeingrelievedinprivatebythefaithful,werewellable topayforwhat theyboughtofme.Countrypeopleandothers,who made it their business to fatten fowls and hogs, were also frequentpurchasers;butthespicecakemakersweremybestcustomers.I likewisemadesomething considerable by the old rags which were given me by charitablepersonswhocouldnotwithoutpityseealadofmyagealmostnaked,especiallyinwinter.

Havingbythistimebecomeacquaintedwiththefirstprofessorsintheartofbegging,Iwasnowperfectmasterofthetrade,byfollowingtheirdirectionsandexample. Ithappenedoneday thatabout thirtyofour fraternitywerecollectedbeforethedooroftheAmbassadorofFrance,whereIheardoneofmycomrades

behind me cry, “Look at that Spanish glutton there, he’ll certainly spoil ourtrade.Whenoncehisgutsarewellfilledwiththesoupormeatthatisgivenhim,hedeclines takinganymore; this it is that ruinsourbusiness.Bythesemeans,peoplewillbeapttothinkthatpoorpeoplelikeushavetoomuchgiventhem.”One of our veterans,who knewme, overhearing this, said to the beggarwhouttered this complaint, “Peace, comrade, do you not see that this novice is astrangerwhoisnotyetacquaintedwithourregulations.Leavehimtome,andIwillundertaketoinstructhim.Heisaprettyaptscholar,Iassureyou,andwillinaveryshorttimebeamatchforanyofus.”

Afterhavingthustakenmypart,hecalledmeasideinalowvoice,andaskedmeseveralquestions;as,inwhatpartofSpainIwasborn?whatwasmyname,andhowlongIhadbeenatRome?WhenIhadansweredallthesequeriesinaverylaconicstyle,heproceededtorepresenttome,butinaverymildmanner,themutualfeelingthatbeggarswereboundtoobservetowardseachother,thataproperdecorummightbesupportedamongthem;thattheyoughttobesounitedastoplayintoeachother’shandslikebrotherpick-pocketsinafair.Fromthenceenteringintoalongdetail,herevealedsomanysecretstomeassoonconvincedme how inferior Iwas to these greatmen.Amongst other thingswhich I hadneveryetheardof,hetaughtmehowtoenlargemystomach,soastobeabletoeatfourtimesasmuchasusual,withoutincommodingmyself;notforgettingtorecommend me, never to eat before people, without effecting extremegreediness, for he assured me, it was most essential to persuade them thatbeggarsaredyingwithhunger.HeconcludedbyinformingmeatwhathoursIshouldbesuretobeatsuchandsuchplaces:thatinsomehousesImightventuretoenterthekitchen,andevenasfarastheparlour;butthatinothersImustnotdaretoenterthedoor.

I now thought that he had completely exhausted the subject, but all thesethingswere nothing in comparisonwith the begging-laws,which hemademeread at his own house,whither he ledme, as soon as the alms of the FrenchAmbassadorweredistributed.Hedidnotcontenthimselfbyallowingmemerelyto read theseadmirable regulations,but insistedonmy takingacopyof them,thatbybeingwellacquaintedwiththem,Imightneveragaininfringetheminsoshameful a manner. I have not thought myself bound, friendly reader, towithhold these statutes, which I shall communicate to you as they werepresentedtome.Iftherebeanywhohavenowishtohavethemannersoflowlife depicted to them, is it just that I should accommodate myself to theirexcessivedelicacy,andwithdrawapicturewhichmayaffordmuchpleasure toothers?

CHAP.XXII.

TheLawsofbegging.

ASbeggarsofeverynationaredistinguishedfromeachotherbytheirdifferentmodes of imploring alms; as the Germans beg by singing, and in troops, theFrench by their praying, the Flemings by their respectful bowings, theBohemiansbyfortunetelling,thePortuguesebytheircrying,theItaliansbylongharangues, the English by abusing, and the Spaniards by their haughtygrowlings:weherebycommandthemalltoobservethefollowingStatutesunderpainofourheavydispleasure.

1. We forbid any lame or wounded beggar, of whatever nation he be, toappearinthequartersfrequentedbyothersfullofhealthandvigour,onaccountof theadvantagetheywillhaveoverthelatter.Wealsoordain, thatallsuchasare in perfect health, form no manner of connexion with blind men, field-preachers,mountebanks,poets,musicians,redeemedcaptives,norevenwitholdsoldiersthathaveescapedfromarout,orseamensavedfromashipwreck.Foralthoughitisgenerallyallowed,thatallthesemustsubsistbyimploringcharity,theirmannersofbeggingbeingdifferent,itisnecessarythateachsocietykeeptoitsownparticularrules.

2. We ordain that beggars have certain taverns assigned them in everycountry,where shallpreside threeor fourof their ancientswith staves in theirhandsasemblemsoftheirauthority.Whichsaidancientsareherebyempoweredtocanvass,intheaforesaidtaverns,alltheaffairsoftheworld,andtogivetheiropinionsasfreelyastheyplease.Atthesametime,wepermittheotherbeggarstorelatetheirownheroicexploits,aswellasthoseoftheirancestors,andeventoillustratetheconversationbyboastingofbattlestheywereneverin.

3.Wecommand, thateverybeggarcarryagoodcudgel inhishand,withaspikeat theendof it ifpossible, tobeprovidedagainstemergencies, lest theyrepentoftheirneglect.

4.That eachbeggar take especial care never to presume towear any thingnew; that all his clothes beworn out, torn, or patched; nothing bringingmorescandal on our profession than begging in good clothes. Be it, however, wellunderstood,thatifintheexerciseofhisprofessionalduties,abeggarchancetoobtainsomenewgarment,heisatlibertytodeckhimselfoutinitforthatday,but no longer. We positively will, and command, that he dispose of it the

followingmorning.5.Topreventanydisputethatmayarisebetweencomradesforcertainposts,

weordainthatthemoreancientpossessorprevailandtakeprecedence,withoutregardtopersons.

6. It is permitted that two infirm or sick persons beg in company, if theyplease,andcalleachotherbrothers;providedtheybegbyturnsandinadifferenttone, the onebeginningwhere the other leaves off.They are to keepoppositeeachotherondifferentsidesofthestreet,eachsinginghisownmisfortunes;theymayafterwardsdividetheirprofitsastheyplease.

7.Itispermittedthatabeggarwearanolddish-cloutroundhisheadinwinterinsteadofabonnet,thatwhileheisprotectedfromthecold,hemayatthesametimeappearaninvalid.Heislikewiseatlibertytowalkwithcrutches,ortohaveonelegtiedupbehindhim.

8. Every beggarmay have a purse and a pocket, butmust receive alms intheirhatsonly.

9.We command, that no beggar be so indiscreet as to divulge any of themysteriesofourtradetoanybutsuchasbelongtoourSociety.

10.Shouldanybeggarbesofortunateastodiscoveranynewtrickintheartofbegging,heshallbeobligedtocommunicatethesametothecompany,whichought to enjoy in common the benefit arising from the genius of any of itsmembers.Asarecompence,however,totheinventor,andtostimulatehisgeniustonewdiscoveries,wedecree thathehaveanexclusiveprivilege tomake themostofhisdeviceforthreemonths;duringwhichtimeweperemptorilyforbidany other belonging to our fraternity from interferingwith his practice, underpainofconfiscatingtohisusealltheprofitsthatmaybederivedtherefrom.

11. We exhort the members of this Society freely and faithfully to makeknowntoeachotherallthehouseswheretheyknowthateitherprivateorpublicalmsarelikelytobedispensed;especiallythoseinwhichgamingorcourtingisgoingforward,forinsuchplaceslargereceiptsarecertain.

12.Wecommand,thatnobeggarpresumetokeeporleadaboutwithhimanyhunting,setting,orotherdogs;blindmenonlybeingallowedtobeconductedbyalittlecurwithastringrounditsneck.Thisprohibitionisnotmeanttoextendtosuch of our fraternity asmay chance to possess dogs of talent. Thesemay beallowed to exhibit theirperformancesasusual,bymaking theirdogsdanceorjumpthroughhoops;buttheymustnotpresumetotaketheirstationatachurch-door,whereotherbeggarsof theSocietymaybeassembled,onaccountof thegreatadvantagetheywillhaveoverthem.

13.Wecommand,thatnobeggarventuretobuymeatorfishinthemarketonhisownaccount,exceptinacaseofextremenecessity,asveryillconsequencesmayarisefromsodoing.

14.Wepermit all suchbeggars ashavenochildrenof theirown tohire asmanyasfourtoleadaboutwiththemintothechurchesonfestivals;theseshouldnot be above five years old, and, if possible, should appear to be twins. If afemaleconductthem,sheshouldneverfailtohaveonealwaysatherbreast;andifaman,hemustbesuretocarryoneonhisarm,andleadtheotherbythehand.

15.Wecommand, that thosebeggarswhohaveanychildren, instruct them,upto theageofsixyears, in thebestmodeofmakingcollections inchurches;that,afterhavingtaughtthemtoaskcharityfortheirfatherandmotherwholieontheirbedsathomemostdangerouslyill,theyallowthemtogoalone,thoughit were better not entirely to lose sight of them. As soon, however, as thesechildrenshallhaveattainedtheirseventhyear,wecommandthattheybelefttoshiftforthemselves,asbeingalreadymajors,andthattheirparentsbecontenttorestrictandcompelthemtoreturnhomeatstipulatedhours.

16.Beggarsoftheoldstamp,whoconsideritapointofhonortowalkinthefootstepsoftheirancestorswhohavetrainedthemtotheprofessionofbegging,will never allow their children to take any other trade than their own, nor todegradethemselvesbyenteringintotheserviceofanyone;andifthesechildrenwishtobethoughtworthyoftheirparents,theywillholdeveryotherconditioninabhorrence.

17. Although Idleness be the principal divinity worshipped by us beggars,we, nevertheless, think proper to prescribe certain hours of rising. Every oneshoulddressandturnoutbyseveno’clockinwinter,andbyfiveinsummer,orevensooner,ifhefeelsodisposed;andshouldbeinbedagainbythesamehourin the evening, except on extraordinary occasions, and according to thedirectionsoftheveteransoftheSociety.

18.Beforeverdeclaredinfamous,andbanishedfromourSociety,allsuchasshallpresumetosteal,harbourstolengoods,striplittlechildren,orcommitanysuchvillanies.

19.Asitisourwishthatallyoungpersonswhoembarkinourprofessionbetreatedfavorably,wewillandordain,that,forthefuture,anybrotherwhoshallhaveattainedtheageoftwelveyearsshallbeobligedtopassanoviciateofthreeyearsonlyinsteadoffive;andweinsistthatafterthesaidtermofthreeyearshebe considered a graduate in the profession, and as a subject who has dulycompliedwithandfulfilledallthelawsofourinstitution.

20.AtthesametimewerequireofthesaidbrotherthathemakeoathnevertodesertourSociety,butcontinueattached to it, andnever thinkofwithdrawinghimself from our service without our especial leave; promising to pay duesubmissionandobediencetoourstatutes,underpainofourhighestdispleasure.

CHAP.XXIII.

OfthedisagreeableadventurepoorGuzmanmetwith,whilebeggingintheCityofRomeduringtheheatoftheday.

IN addition to these laws, this famous doctor in the art communicated to meotherswhichhetoldmehadbeenestablishedbythemostcelebratedbeggarsofItaly, and particularly by the renowned Albert, surnamedMesserMorcon—inother words, Mr. Big-guts—who was looked upon as Generalissimo of theBeggarsatRome.Intruth,hewelldeservedthattitle,andeventhatofPrinceoftheBeggars,orrathertheArchbeggar,ofChristendom.

He was worthy to be Emperor of the Idlers, as well on account of hisappearanceasofhismanners andunderstanding.Hewoulddevour at a singlemeal thewholeof the tripeandtrottersof twogoodsheep,acow’sudder,andten pounds of bread, not to mention the scraps that he collected, which hegenerallyappliedsolelytohisownuse.Hewoulddrinkinproportion.ItistruethathealonewouldscrapeupasmuchinbeggingastenofthemostdeformedandcrippledofourSociety;butthenhehadoccasionforallthis,asIbeforetoldyou;foralthoughheconsumedeveryscrapthatwasgivenhim,andspentallhismoney in drink, he was frequently obliged to have recourse to the larders ofother beggars, who, considering themselves his vassals, were always wellpleased to contribute to his subsistence.Henever seemed satisfied eitherwithwineorvictuals.Healwayswent,bothsummerandwinter,openbreasted,andneverworeeithershirtorstockings.Hisheadwasalwaysbare,hischinalwayswellshaved,andhisskinwasaswhiteandshiningasifithadbeenrubbedwithlard.

Among other rulesmade by this famousMesserMorcon during his reign,thereisonewhichiswellworthrepeating:heordainedthateverybeggarshouldsleepontheground,withouteithermattressorpillow,andthattheyshouldleaveoff begging every day as soon as they had gained sufficient for the day’snecessities;for,saidhe,atruebeggaroughttodependentirelyuponProvidence,andthinknotofthemorrow.

Igotall the lawsofbeggingbyheart,butwascontent toobserve themostessential only.Nevertheless, as Iwas ambitious todistinguishmyself in everyprofession I embraced, Iwas frequently tempted to run riskswhich turnedoutneither to my honor nor profit. An unlucky adventure of this descriptionoccurred tomeoneday in themonthofSeptember.Thedaywasoppressively

hot;Ihappenedtogooutbetweenoneandtwoo’clock,tobegfromdoortodoorinthestreetsofRome,imaginingthateveryonewhosawmebeggingatsuchatimewouldbesuretothinkImustbehalfstarved,andthatIshouldnotfailtohaveeithervictualsormoneygivenmeonthataccount.Invain,however,didIrange the principal quarter of the city, making the air resound with mylamentations;Imetwithnothingbutrepulsesandreproaches.

Irepairedtoanotherquarter,hopingtofindheartsmoresensibletomycries.Iknockedatadoorwithmystick,butas Iobtainednoanswer, I repeatedmystrokesveryloudlythreeorfourtimes;butjustasIhadmadeupmymindnottobudgeuntilIhadmademyselfheard,akitchen-boyappearedatoneoftheupperwindows,whoseemedtobewashingdishes,and,asarewardformyobstinacy,poured down a cauldron of boiling water on my head, and immediatelyafterwardscriedout,Scaldings!looktoyourselfbelowthere!

Assoonas I feltmyselfbaptized in thishotmanner, I setupso frightfulayell, and made such grimaces, that I gathered a great crowd round me in amoment.Somefewblamedthekitchen-boy;butall therest toldmethat Iwasmuchinthewrongtopresumethustodisturbgentlefolkswhowereasleep,andthatifIdidnotfeelinclinedforsleepmyself,Ioughtnotatleasttowakeothers.Someamongthempitiedme,and,toconsolemeformyunluckyaccident,putafew sous in my hand, with which I withdrew, intending to go home and drymyself. “Admirable!” thought I, in my own way home. “Wilt thou never becontent with what is needful for thee? what demon tempted thee to do whatothersofthycallingneverventuretoattempt?”

Iwasalreadyverynearmyownlodgings,whenaneighbour,whowasoneoftheoldestofourfraternity,calledmeintoacellarwhereheresided,and,seatingme on a three-legged stool, askedmewhere the devil I had come from,whatbathIhadjustleft,andwhohadmademeinsuchapickle?WhenIrelatedmyadventurehelaughedmostheartily.ThisoldmanwasanativeofCordova,born,trainedup,anddestinedtodieintheprofessionofbegging.“MypoorGuzman,”saidhe,“Ifearmuchyouwillbeasimpletonallyourlife;thebloodistoohotinyour veins; you seem to wish to be master before you have served yourapprenticeship.Doyounotseeyourfollyinviolatingourcustoms?But,aswearebothfromthesamecountry,andyourextremeyouthissomesortofexcuseforyou,Iwillendeavourtopointoutyourdutytoyoumoreclearly.Inthefirstplace,myfriend,knowthatnobodyevergivesalmsatRome in theafternoon.Thecitizensaswellasthepeopleofqualityalwaystakeanapatthattimeoftheday; and you are sure only to displease by waking them or disturbing theirslumbers.Whenabeggarhashowledtwice,inasupplicatingtone,atthedoorof

ahouse,withoutseeinganyone,itisasignthatthepeopleofthehousedonotchusetobeseen,and,consequently, thebestwayistobegonewithoutfurtherlossoftime.Benotsoimprudentastoopenadoorthatyoufindshut,stilllesstoenter thehouse;askwhateveryouwantfromthestreet, forfearof thedogsofthehouse,whocaneasilydistinguishusfromothermen,andwho,consideringustheirrivals,haveanaturalantipathytowardsus.

“Oneof thebestpiecesofadvicethatIcangiveyou,”continuedhe,“isbyreminding you that you are a Spaniard. This supposes in you a dispositionalwaysreadytotreatwithrudenessallsuchaswithholdtheircharity;thus,whenyouaddressyourselftooneoftheseill-disposedrichones,whonotonlymakeitarulenevertoassistus,butwillalsoreproachusmostbitterlyforouridleness,recollectthatyoushouldalwaysanswertheirhard-heartedtreatmentwithwordsfull of softness and humility. Another piece of good advice: should you bychance,whichhashappenedtomeatleastahundredtimesinmylife,approachacavalierwho,justasyouimplorehischarity,takesoffhisgloveandputshishandinhispocket,Idonotforbidyoutofeelrejoicedatsuchanaction;butifyou afterwardsdiscover that itwas onlywith the intentionof drawingout hishandkerchief,donotventuretotestifychagrinatyourdisappointment,norgrowlathim,fortheremaychancetobeanothergentlemannearhimwhomighthaveintendedtorelieveyou,hadnotyourgrumblingpreventedhisdesign.”

After theoldCordovanhadgivenmethesepoliticalprecepts,he taughtmehowImightraiseapretendedleprosyandulcers;howalegmightbeswelled;howImightmakeanarmappeardislocated,andrendermyfacepalerthandeathitself.Inshort,hepossessedathousandcurioussecrets,whichhewassokindastocommunicate tome,notmoreoutof friendship forme,ashe toldme, thanfrom the fear that he might leave this world for the other without havingbequeathedthemtoanyone.Infact,hediedafewdaysafterthisconversation.

CHAP.XXIV.

OftheagreeablelifeGuzmancontinuedtoleadwithhisComrades.AnaccountofhisJourneytoGaeta.HistoryofaBeggarwhodiedatFlorence.

NOTWITHSTANDINGthedispositionrecommendedbythetenthstatuteofourlaws,Idid not think proper to communicate to my comrades the secrets of theCordovan,whohadrevealedthemtononebutmyself;neverthelesswealllivedtogether in perfect union. We frequently met together of an evening to thenumberof tenor twelve, andpassedour time inpractisingand inventingnewexclamations to excite pity. Therewere even some among uswho discoverednewformsofbenedictionwhichtheygotalivelihoodby,andwhichtheysoldtothe others, who were always willing to purchase them on account of theirnovelty.

On festival-days we would be up betimes and run to the churches whereindulgencesweredispensed, thatwemight secure thebestplaces,bybeingasnear aswe could to theHolyWater, or at the entrance of theChapel near theStation,—whichistheplacesetapartforpenitentstostandandrecitetheprayersprescribedfor them.Thuswereourmorningsemployed,and towardsnightwegenerallylefttheCitytomakeanexcursionintothevillagesintheenvirons,aswellasthefarmsandcountry-seats,whenceweseldomreturnedwithoutbeingwell ladenwith abundance of lard, bread, eggs and cheese; sometimeswith agood collection of old clothes, so well did we know how to excite thecompassionofthegoodfolksinthecountry.Ifontheroadwesawanypersonofdistinctioncomingtowardsus,theinstantweperceivedhimatadistance,wesetup a concert of plaintive voices imploring his charity, that he might haveabundanceoftimetoputhishandinhispocket,otherwisehemighthavepassedonwithoutstopping.

Whenwehadtomeetanumberofcitizenstogether,andhadtimetoprepareforit,wewouldeveryoneofusactadifferentcharacter;onewouldhaltasifhewerelame,anotherwouldcounterfeitblindness;athirdwouldcarryonearminasling,anotherwouldaffectdumbness;afifthwoulddistorthismouthorhislegs,andasixthwouldwalkoncrutches;inaword,weeveryoneofusperformedadifferent part, taking care to place themost skilful amongst us at our head, torenderthescenemoreaffecting.

You would have been well amused had you but heard the variousbenedictionsweemployed toextract themarrowfromtheirpurses.Weprayed

thatGodwouldgivethemchildren,prospertheircommerce,andblessthemwithgoodhealth;suchwishesasthesewerescarcelyeverthrownaway.Thereneverwasapartyofpleasureor anentertainmentof any sortgoing forward,butweweresuretosmellitoutandpickupsomething;andweneverfailedtorepair,insmall numbers at a time, to suchplaces,wherewe alwaysgot asmuch aswecouldeat.ThehotelsofBishops,Cardinals,Ambassadors,all thegreathouseswere open to us, andwe frequented them by turns: thuswe partook of everything,thoughwepossessednothing.

Iknownothowmycomradesfeltaffectedwhentheychancedtoreceivealmsfrom thehandof aprettywoman; formyself,miserable sinner,whenayoungfemaleapproachedmewhosefigureIadmired,IcouldnotrefrainfromleeringuponherwithanamorouslookwhenIimploredhercharity.Ifsheherselfgavememoney,Ipressedherhandtenderlyinmyown,andkisseditbeforeIallowedittoescape.ButIalwayscommittedthisrashactionwithsorespectful,orrathersohypocriticalanair,thatthelady,notsuspectingthatitwasmerelyformyowngratification,alwaysconsideredthisinsolenceasatransportofgratitude.

Thepleasuresofthisworld,whichhavebeenthoughttobetheshareoftherichandgreatonly,maymuchmore reasonablybesaid to fall to the lotofusbeggars, who enjoy the sweets of life with more freedom, more relish, andtranquillity.Even thoughbeggarshadnoother advantage than that of beggingand receiving without either embarrassment or shame, they enjoy therein aprivilegewhichnoneoftherestofmankindpossess,sovereignsonlyexcepted,whoalsobegoftheirpeoplewithoutblushing:butthedifferencebetweenthemis,thatsovereignsoftenmakepoorfolkscontributetotheirwants,whilebeggarsseldomaskofanybutsuchasarericherthanthemselves.Thereisevidentlythenno condition of lifemore happy than that of a beggar, and fortunate were it,indeed,ifeveryonecouldknowwhenheissowelloff.Thegreaternumberofmycomrades,however,weresoentirelyengrossedwithdelicaciesofanimallife,thatonehalfoftheirfelicitywasactuallythrownaway:theydidnotreflecthowsweetitwastoliveindependent,withoutthedreadoflaw-suitsorthefearthattheirmoneywasbadlyapplied:tobeunaffectedbytheintriguesofstate,bytheuncertainty of business and speculation, or by the numberlessmischances andembarrassments towhich everyotherman is constantly subject.The firstmanwhoembracedthismodeoflifemust,doubtless,havebeenagreatphilosopher.

I would willingly have believed beggars entirely free from the control ofFortune, did not thatmalicious goddess take pleasure in occasionally showingherpoweroverthem,bysubjectingthemtolittledisgraces,aswellasothers.OfthisnaturewaswhathappenedtomeinthetownofGaeta,whitherIwentoutof

curiosity, imaginingthatamanlikeme,whomightnowbereckonedskilful inmy trade, would have no sooner entered the place, than alms would showerdownas thickashailuponhim.The instant Iarrived there Icoveredmyheadwithafalsescab,whichIknewwellhowtocounterfeit,andplacedmyselfatthedoorofachurch.Thegovernorof thetownhappenedtopassbyme,andafterhavinglookedatmeforsometimewithattention,gavemealms.Aconsiderablenumberoftheinhabitantsofbothsexesfollowedhisexample,andthisgoodlucklastedforseveraldays;butcovetousness,asthesayingis,atlastburststhebag.Onthenextfestival-day,thinkingthatmypretendedscabbyheadwastoooldatrick,Ideterminedtomakemyselfanulceronmyleg,andsoonraisedonebymakinguseofoneofthesecretstheoldCordovanhadrevealedtome.

Havingpreparedallthatwasnecessarytodressupmylegsoastoyieldmeagoodharvest,Ipostedmyselfinthebestsituationatthedoorofanotherchurch,where I immediatelybegan towrithemyself about andhowl, as if I hadbeenexceedingly afflictedbymyulcer, so as to attract thenoticeof everyone thatpassedbyme;andthoughmyhealthycountenancewassufficienttohavebeliedmycomplaints(forIhadneglectedtomanufactureapalefaceontheoccasion),andhavecreatedsuspicion,yetIfoundthatmyapparentlydistressingsituationexcited thecompassionofmany; for thesecharitable folksdidnotexamine soaccurately as to detectme, and I in consequence received individually greatercontributionsthanalltheotherbeggarswhowerethere,whowishedmeandmyulceratthedevil.

Unluckily, however, the aforementioned governor chanced to come to hearmass at this church, and had no sooner listened tome for amoment than herecognizedmebymyvoice.Hecouldnototherwisehavepossibly recollectedme,formyheadwascompletelycoveredwithalargenapkinwhichdescendedtomynose;buthewasamanofexperiencewhohadseenagreatdealof theworld; and as soon as he espied me I knew well that he said to himself, “ItcannotbefourdayssinceIsawandrelievedthissamefellow;canhepossiblyhavebeenafflictedsincethattimewithsobadanulceronhisleg?theremustbesomerogueryinthisaffair,anditisincumbentonmetoinquirefurtherintoit:”“My friend,” said he, addressing himself tome, “I ammuch affected by yourmiserablesituation;followmehomeandIwillgiveyouagoodshirt.”

I was so imprudent as to obey him, without the slightest suspicion of hisdesignuponme;forhadIintheleastguessedatitIshouldsoonhaveforcedmyway through his servants, and disappointed him of the punishment he haddevisedforme.Havingarrivedathishouse,Ididnotpresagemuchgoodwhenhelookedatmewithearnestness,andthendemandedofmeinaseveretoneifI

wasnot thesamepersonwhomhehadseenafewdayssinceatachurchdoorwithabadhead.Iturnedpaleatthisquestion,andcouldnotmusterimpudenceenoughtoanswerinthenegative,whereuponheinsistedonseeingmyhead,andnot perceiving the least appearance of disorder: “Tell me,” said he, “by whatsingular remedyyoucanpossiblyhavecuredyourselfsoperfectly in theshortspace of four days, and how you can have so inveterate an ulcer on your legaccompaniedwithsoruddyacomplexion:”“Sir,”repliedI;sodisconcertedthatIknewnotwhatIsaid,—“Iknownot:butGodwaspleasedthatitshouldbeso.”

IwasstillmoretroubledwhenIheardhimdesireoneofhisservantstorunfor a surgeon. I knewwellwhatwas preparing forme, and should soon havemadeanattempttoescape,ifIhadnotobservedthatthedoorwaslocked;butassuchwas thecase Iwasobliged to submit.At length the surgeonarrived, andexaminedmylegmostattentively,and,skilfulashewas,wouldveryprobablyhavebeendeceived,hadnotthegovernorcommunicatedtohiminawhisperthereasonshehadforthinkingmeanimpostor;afterthisthesurgeonhadbutlittletroubleindiscoveringthetruth:heexaminedtheulcerafresh,andthendeclared,withanairofimportanceandsagacity,thatIhadnomoreailmentinmylegthanhehimselfhadinhiseye:“Bringmesomehotwater,”saidhe,“andIwillproveclearlywhatIassert.”Thiswassoonsupplied;thesurgeonrubbedandwashedmyleg,whichbecameinaninstantsocleanandhealthful,thatIdarednotutterasyllableindefenceofmyknavery.

Thegovernor,thinkingthathewasboundtorewardmeformyaddress,gavemetheshirthehadbeensokindastopromise,whichwasfittedonmybackinamoment by one of his lusty servants, who applied thirty hearty lashes by hismaster’sdirections, bywayof recompence formy journey.Afterwhich Iwasorderedtoleavethetownimmediately,withthepromisethatIshouldbedoublyremunerated if I everventured tomakemyappearance in it again.Thiswasaverysuperfluousprohibition,forthepleasanttreatmentIhadmetwithinGaetawasofitselfquitesufficienttodivestmeofalldesireofvisitingthatplaceagain.I left this cursed town therefore without further delay, shrugging up myshouldersallthewayIwent,untilIarrivedoncemoreinthePope’sterritories.IgreetedmydearRomewithathousandblessingsasIenteredit,andnosoonersaw it at a distance than tears of joy trickled frommy eyes, and I could notrefrainfromwishingmyarmslongenoughtohaveembracedit.

Isoonrejoinedmyoldcomrades,buttookgoodcarenottocommunicatemylatedisgrace to them:had theyknownit, Ishouldneverhaveheard the lastofmy flogging adventure at Gaeta, which would have been an everlasting jokeagainstme.ItoldthemthatIhadmerelytakenatripoutofcuriositytosomeof

theneighbouringvillages;butthatIhadfoundbyexperiencethat,therewasnoplace likeRome forpersonsofour calling. Imust indeedhavebeenhalfmadwhen I thought of leaving this blessed city,wherewe all lived sowell, neverfailingtocollectdailyasmuchmoneyaswewanted.Everyfowlfillsitscropbya single grain at a time. In likemannerwe accumulatedourmoney; and afterhavingconverteditintogold,wecarrieditaboutwithussewedtoourgarmentsunderrags,whichfrequentlyconcealedasufficientsumtobuyacompletenewsuit.Wemightbesaidtohavebeenstitchedupwithgold;andthereweresomefewoldrascalsamonguswhowereworthaveryconsiderablesumwhichtheyalways carried about their persons. Persons of our class generally possess thevicesofavariceandcrueltyinthehighestdegree.Iwillillustratethisassertionbyrelatingtoyouaverysingularexampleinthehistoryofabeggarofmyownacquaintance,whichiswellworththerecital.

Apoorbeggar,namedPantalonCastello,anativeofGenoa,havingmarriedatFlorence,hadonesonbyhiswifewhomheintendedsotoestablishinlifeastorenderitunnecessaryforhimeithertowork,orgointoservicetoobtainhislivelihood: with this view, taking advantage of the facility with which thedelicatemembersofanewborninfantmaybedislocated,hedeterminedonthebarbarityofcripplinghisownchild.Perchance,reader,youwillfeelinclinedtostopmehere,totellmethatthisisbynomeansextraordinaryamongbeggars.Iamreadytoallow,thatbeggarsofeverynationintheworldareinthehabitofavailing themselves of such inhuman means to excite compassion: but ourPantalon,likeatrueGenoese,waswillingtosurpassallhispredecessorsinthispoint, and disfigured his poor son so dreadfully that there was scarcely suchanothermonsterintheworld.Thisunfortunatechild,who,withtheexceptionofhisarmsandtongue,whichhadnotbeentouched,wasdeformedallover,wasnosooneroutofhisinfancy,thanhebegantoexhibithimselfthroughthestreetsinakindofcage,onalittleasswhichheguidedwithhisownhands.

If,however,hisbodyhadbutlittleofthehumanforminit,bywayofamendshehadagreatdealofwit,whichshone themorebrilliantlyasheadvanced inage.Hisreparteesweresopleasantandsomuchtothepurpose,thathewastheadmirationofallwhoknewhim,andreceivedgreatalms,whichheowednolesstohisfacetiousandgoodnaturedmanner,thantothecompassionexcitedbyhisunfortunate person. Deformed and ugly as he was, however, he lived untilseventy two years of age, afterwhich he fell sick; and knowingwell that hisillnessmustbefatal,hebegantoreflectonhispastlife,andsentforaconfessor,apiousandlearnedman,withwhomhewasacquainted.Havingdiscoursedwithhimaboutallhisaffairsaswellspiritualas temporal,hecalled inaNotary, to

whomheinditedhiswill in thefollowingterms:Irecommendmysoul toGodwhocreated it,andmybody to theearth,andIwish tobe interred inmyownparish.Item,Idesirethatmyassbesold,andthatthemoneyaccruingtherefrombe

employed in defraying the expenses of my burial. As for the pack-saddle, IbequeathittotheGrandDukemyLord,towhomitofrightbelongs,andwhomIherebynominateexecutortothismywill,anduniversalheirtomyproperty.

Thisbeggardieda fewdaysafter,andhisWillbeingmadepublic,becamethe talk of the city of Florence.As every one had known him to be amerry-conceitedfellowallhislife,itwasthegeneralopinionthathehadhoped,bythisseeming burlesque, to make folks laugh at him even after his death. But theDukesomewhatdifferedfromthem;forhavingfrequentlyheardofthetestatorandhispleasantries,hesuspectedtheremightbesomemysteryinit.Tounravelit, therefore, he ordered the pack-saddle which was bequeathed to him to bebrought tohisPalace,wherehecausedit tobeunrippedinthepresenceof thewholecourt,whowerenotalittlesurprisedatdiscoveringinitseveralpiecesofgold of all kinds, to the value of three thousand six hundred crowns, of fourhundred maravedis each. It came afterwards to be known that it was by theadvice of his Confessor that he had thus disposed of his property, which theGrandDuke,likeajustandpiousPrince,madeagooduseof,byemployingthewholeofitinfoundingaperpetualMasstobesaidforthetestator’ssoul.

CHAP.XXV.

HowGuzmanexcitedthecompassionofaCardinal,andwhatfollowed.

HAVINGrisenonefinemorningbetimes,aswasusualwithme,IseatedmyselfatthegateofaCardinalwhopassedforoneofthemostcharitablemeninRome,havingfirsttakengreatpainstoswellanddressuponeofmylegsintoanulcer,whichmighthavedeceivedthemostskilfulsurgeons.Ihadnot,onthisoccasion,forgotten to make my face as pale as possible, for I should have beeninexcusableindeedhadIcommittedthesamefaulttwice.Ibeganbegginginthemost dolorous tone thatmy voicewas capable of, and several of the servantswhowerepassinginandoutweremuchaffectedbymyplaintivemoans:butthiswasmerelypractisingforthegameIhadinview.ItwasthepityoftheirmasterthatIhopedtoexcite,whonosoonermadehisappearancethanIredoubledmycriesandcomplaints,addressinghiminthesewords:“OnobleChristian!friendofJesusChrist!takepityonapoorafflictedsinner,diseasedandcrippledintheflowerofhisage;bepleased,yourEminence,totakecompassiononmymisery,andpraisedbethepassionofourRedeemer.”

TheCardinal,whowasaholyman, stopped to listen tome; andhoping topleasetheLordinextendinghischaritytowardsme,heturnedtohisdomestics,saying,“Takethispoorwretchinyourarms,andconveyhimintomychamber;therelettheseragsbetakenfromoffhim,furnishhimwithcleanlinen,layhiminmyownbed,andhaveanotherpreparedformeinthenextapartment.”Theseorderswereinstantlyobeyed.Ocharitywhichmayserveforanexampletootherprelates,whoingeneralconsiderHeavenasindebtedtothem,whentheypaytheslightestattentiontothemiseryofthepoor!TheCardinaldidnotstophere,butsentfortwoofthemostcelebratedsurgeonsinRome,desiringthemtoexaminemyleg,anddoeverythingintheirpowertocureit;andafterhavingpromisedtorewardthemwellfortheirtrouble,heleftthemtotheirownproceedings.

Onthefaithof thispromise, thesurgeons immediatelybeganto inspectmyulcer,whichatfirstseemedtothemincurable.Mortificationseemedalreadytohavetakenplace.Thiswasoccasioned,however,bynothingbuttheherbsIhadapplied, and could only last for a certain time, after which, by omitting theapplication,my legwouldhavebeenrestored to itsnaturalhealthystate.Theythen threw off their cloaks, drew out their cases, and ordered some fire to bebroughttheminachaffing-dish,somefinewhitelinen,andsomeeggsandmilk.Whileallthesethingswerepreparing,theybegantoquestionmeconcerningmy

disorder,howlongIhadbeenafflictedwithit,andifIknewhowIfirstcamebyit?ifIdrankanywine?whatIwasaccustomedtoeat?Inshort,theyaskedmeall the questions usual with persons of their profession on such occasions, towhich Iwas not able to answer aword, so dreadfully frightenedwas I at theterriblepreparationsthatweremakingbeforemyeyes.IknewnotwhatSaintIcouldpresumetoimplore,forIcouldnotflattermyselfthattherewasonetobefound in Heaven willing to intercede for such a knave as myself. I began toreflect on what had so recently happened tome at Gaeta, and could scarcelyhopetoescapeinthisinstancewithsoslightapunishment.

Thesurgeons,afterhavingturnedmyleginalldirectionstwentytimesover,retired into another chamber, to discourse together, and communicate theirobservations to each other more privately. I was terribly alarmed as to whatwouldbetheresultof thisconsultation,notknowingbut theymightdecideoncuttingmylegoff.Ileapedstraightwayoutofbed,therefore,tofollowandlistentothem,fullyresolvingtoconfessthetruth,ifIshouldfindtheyhaddetermineduponamputation.Iapproachedthedoor,andwhileIlistenedmostattentivelytotheirconversation,heardoneof thesesagessay to theother:“Wemaymakeagoodjobofthis,brother,ifwecanunderstandeachother;thelegisdreadfullyinflamed,andmust takea long time tocure.”“Youcertainlymustbe jesting,”answeredtheother,“thereisnomoreinflammationonthatlegthanonmyhand:it is a description of disorder which I am sure I can convince you may beremoved in less than two days.” “Do not believe it,” replied hewho had firstspoken;“bySt.Comas,IflattermyselfIhavesomeknowledgeinulcers,andIdomaintain that this is a decidedmortification.” “No, no,” retorted the other;“believeme,ourpatientisanarrantrogue,andhasnorealdisorderwhatevertocomplainof; Iknowwell enoughhowa shamulcermaybe raised, for Ihaveoftenmetwithsimilarcases,andcaneventellyoutheherbs this impostorhasmadeuseoftoreducehislegintoitspresentapparentlydiseasedstate.”

Thesurgeonwhohadbeenmydupewasquiteabashedat thesewords;butthinkingthatitconcernedhisreputationtopersistinhisfirstassertion,hewouldnot yield to his comrade’s opinion. The dispute would have grown very hotbetweenthem,hadnotthesecondsurgeonbeenpoliticenoughtoterminateitbyentreatinghisbrothertoexaminethelegafresh.“Justinspectitagain,”saidhe,“and you will no longer doubt the deception.” “Willingly,” replied the other;“and if I find theulcer suchasyouhaveaffirmed, Iwill readilyyield toyourjudgment.” “That is not enough,” replied the former; “in acknowledging yourerror, youmust also agree that I deserve tohave agreater shareof theprofitsthanyou.”“Bynomeans,”criedhiscompanion;“donottakesomuchmeritto

yourselfforsuchadiscovery,whichImighthavemadewithoutyourassistance.I insist thatwe share equallywhatever feeshisEminencemaygiveus.”Theydisputedafreshon thispoint, and theirquarrelgrewsohigh that theycameatlength to the resolution of laying the full particulars of the case before theCardinal.

When I found how things were likely to end, I hesitated no longer, butenteredtheroomsuddenly,threwmyselfattheirfeet,andwithtearsinmyeyes,(forIhadapeculiartalentinbeingabletocrywhenIwould)addressedtheminthesewords:—“Takecompassion,mydeargentlemen,ononewhoisbutamanlikeyourselves.Youwellknowthatthericharesohard-heartednow-a-days,thatit is impossible for the poor to excite their pity, otherwise than by coveringthemselveswithwoundsandsores,andthatitisbutseldomthatwecanobtainany thingbut themostmiserablepittanceevenby thesemeans.Whatcanyougain by discovering my knavery? you will lose the reward which has beenpromised you, which cannot escape you if you can consent that we all threeconcertmatterstogether.Youmaysafelyventuretoplaceconfidenceinme,forthefearofpunishmentwillinsuremydiscretion.”

The surgeons, after a little reflection,madeup theirminds toprofitby thisopportunityof touching theCardinal’smoney.Thiswasnosooneragreed thanwe returned tohisEminence’s chamber,where they seatedmeona chair, andbegan to re-examine my leg, which they plastered up with the drugs theyconsideredmostlikelytomakethesorelastasitwas.Theythenbounditup,andwrapped a napkin round it, and, observing theCardinal enter the roomat thatveryinstant,tookmeupintheirarmstokeepupappearances,andplacedmeonthebedagain.HisEminence,whowasextremelyuneasyonaccountofmyulcer,inquiredaboutitimmediately.“MyLord,”saidoneofthesurgeonswithagravecountenance, “this poor lad’s situation is truly pitiable; his leg is alreadymortified;wetrust,however, thatwithGod’sassistance,wemaybeable todosomethingforhim,buthiscuremustbetheworkoftime.”“Itismostfortunateforhim,”saidtheothersurgeon,“thathehasthisdayfallenintoourhands;onedaymoremusthaveprovedfatal;andHeavenhadcertainlyordainedthathislifeshouldbesavedbysendinghimtothedoorofyourEminence.”

TheCardinalwas extremely pleased at this report, and told them that theymighttakeasmuchtimeastheypleased,providedtheycuredmeintheend.Hebesought themafresh toneglect nothing thatmight contribute tomy recovery,promising that he would see that I should be well treated in his house. Theyassuredhimthathisconfidenceshouldnotbemisplaced,andthattheywouldnotfail,oneorotherof them, tocallandseeme twiceaday; for that itwouldbe

necessaryforthemtoconsulttogetherupontheslightestchangethatmighttakeplaceinmydisorder.Afterthistheywithdrew,andleftmemoreateaseinmymind; for to thismoment I hadbeenvery suspicious of these two treacherousrascals, lest they should expose my knavery while they pretended to beaccomplices. These unconscionable dogs obligedme to keepmy chamber forthreemonths,whichappearedthreeagestome,sodifficultisittolosethedesireforgamingandbegging.InvaindidIlieinafinebed;invaindidIfarelikehisEminence himself; nothing could recompense me for such confinement. Atlength,Ipressed,Itormentedmysurgeonssoeternallytobringthiscomedytoanend,thattheywereobligedatlasttoyieldtomyimportunities.Theyleftmyulcer,therefore,totakeitscourse,andwhentheyfoundthatmylegwasrestoredto its natural state, acquainted the good Cardinal with it, who was quiteastonishedatsowonderfulacure,anddismissedthesequacks,afterhavingpaidthemmuchmorethantheydeserved.HisEminencehadbeensokindastopayme several visits during the course of my pretended illness. I had frequentconversationswiththisholyprelate,whohavingdiscoveredinmeasortofwitwhich pleased him, had taken a great fancy to me. As a proof of which heproposedandseemedtowishtotakemeintohisservice,amongthenumberofhispages;anhonourwhichwastoogratifyingtometothinkofrefusing.

CHAP.XXVI.

GuzmanbecomespagetotheCardinal,andcommitsathousandmischievoustricksinhisservice.

THUSdidIallofasuddenbecomeapage.Thiswasintruthafineleapforme,althoughbetweenknaveandpagethereisnodifferencebuttheirdress,fortheirpropensities are precisely the same; it served, however, to amuse me, andpreventedmy growing idle, though I felt like a fish out of water in my newemployment. As a beggar I was in my element; accustomed to the soups ofEgypt,Ifeltmyselfathomenowherebutinthetavern.Iwas,therefore,bynomeanspleasedbythelifeIledinthishouse,whereeverythingwasregulatedbyrule and compass;where at one time Iwas employedwith a flambeau inmyhandrunningupordownstairs, to lightourvisitorsas theyenteredor left thehouse, and at another was obliged to dance attendance in the ante-chamber,kickingmyheelsthereforabouttwohours,untilIreceivedmyorders.Alwaysinreadinesstofollowcarriagesbynightaswellasbyday,ortowaitattableanddevourwithmyeyesonlyall thedishesthatwereservedup;inaword, itwasnecessaryformetobeathandonalloccasions,andthatnotforafewdaysonly,butfromthefirstdayofJanuarytothelastofDecember.

Ah!miserable slave,youwill naturally say,what profit couldyoupossiblyderiveduringayearofsomuch trouble?alas! Imustanswer, Iwasservant toeverybody;afinecoatwascertainlygivenme,butthatnotsomuchformyownuse asmy lord’s honour. I got nothing in this service but the itch and severecolds,exceptsomeendsofflambeauxwhichIstoleandsoldtothecobblers;andit was necessary to be very cautious to commit even these little thefts withimpunity.Woetouspagesifwewereevercaughtinthefact;weweresuretogetwell lashed. Besides the pieces of wax that we cut off the flambeaux, wesometimeslayourhandsuponsometit-bitsthatwereservedupattable,whichwe ate in private. But such tricks as these required more dexterity than waspossessedbyanyofmycomrades;andaprettyaccidentbefeloneofthesesillyfellows. As he was clearing away the dishes after having waited at table, hethoughtpropertostealsomehoneyfritters,whichhewrappeduphastilyinhishandkerchief,andcrammedintohispocket.Thefrittersbeingveryhot,andpentup insocloseaplace,began todischarge theirhoney,which ranalldown thepoorpage’sleg.Ill-luckdirectedtheCardinal’seyesthatway,who,guessingatfirstsightwhatitwas,begantolaughmostheartily.“Page,”saidhe,addressing

himself to this simpleton, “I perceive blood trickling downyour legs; are youany where wounded?” At this question, all the company, which was verynumerous,andeventheservants,turnedabouttolookattheculprit’sleg,andthepoordevilofapagestoodconfusedandmortified,knowingthathiscrimewasdiscovered.Happy for him had he been let off for the shame of enduring theextremelaughterwhichheexcited,buthepaidmuchmoredearlythenextdayforhisfritters,thehoneyofwhichwasbutsourtohim.

Most of my other comrades were as green as this one when I was firstreceivedamongthem;andasIcouldnotrefrainfromfollowingmyoldhabits,Iemployedmyselfinrobbingthemofwhatevertheyhadworthstealing,inspiteof all the pains they took to secure themselves from my clutches. This soontaughtthemtoberathermorevigilant.Ourmasterkept,inaclosetadjoininghisownbed-chamber,alargechest,filledwithallsortsofdriedsweetmeats,whichhewasextremelyfondof.In thischest,amongother things,wereprunesfromGenoa, bergamot-pears from Aranjuez, melons from Grenada, citrons fromSeville,orangesfromPlacentia,lemonsfromMurcia,cucumbersfromValencia,love-apples from Toledo, peaches fromArragon, and raisins fromMalaga. Inshort,themostdelicioussweetmeatsanddriedfruitsofeverydescriptionweretobe found in this enviable chest, which never failed tomakemymouth waterwhenever his Eminence gave me the key to get some out for him. On suchoccasions,however,healwaystookgoodcaretobepresenthimself,distrusting,asIsupposed,mythievingdisposition. Iwasmuchmortifiedat thissuspicion,whichonlyservedtoexcitemydesire,whichwasalreadystrongenough,tohavea taste of these fine preserves, and not being able any longer to resist thetemptation,Ithoughtofnothingbutthemeansofgratifyingmyinclination.Thechestwasaboutayardwide,and twoyardsandahalf long,andhadonlyonelockinthemiddle.Seeingthis,Iprocuredawoodenwedge,andraisedacornerofthelid,bywhichmeansImadeanopeninglargeenoughtoadmitmyarm;butasIcouldthenonlychoosesuchsweetmeatsaslaywithinmyreach,Ifastenedahooktotheendofalongstick,withtheassistanceofwhichIhadthepleasureofpickingandchoosingwhereIpleased.ThusImademyselfcompletemasterofthechestwithouthavingthekeyofit.

Notwithstanding the great quantity of fruits in the chest, my stick was sofrequently at work that they began to diminish apace. The Cardinal observedlargeholeshereand there,whichdidnotmuchpleasehim;butonedaybeingdesirous to tasteavery finecitronwhichhehad takenparticularnoticeof thepreceding evening, what was his astonishment when he found it flown? Hesummonedhisprincipalofficersbeforehim,andtoldthemhewasdeterminedto

knowwhichofhisdomesticshadbeensoinsolentastoopenhischestandtouchthefruitshesomuchprized,charginghismajor-domo,asourill-naturedpriest,to leavenostoneunturned to findout the thief.Suspicion fellupon thepages,andwewereorderedtoassembleinthehall,whereweweresearched,oneafteranother; but to no purpose were our pockets ransacked, in vain were wethreatened,forIhadlongerethisnotonlyeatenthecitronbutdigestedit.

This affair soon blew over, and no more was said of it. The Cardinal,however,hadnotforgottenit,andIwasobligedtobesomuchonmyguardthatIdidnotventuretopayanothervisittomyfavouritechest,eventolookatit,forseveraldays.Thisvexedmeexceedingly; for Ihadacquiredaparticular relishforhisEminence’ssweetmeats,andsofarfromthinkingofgivingthemup,waswaitinganxiouslyforthefirstopportunityofhavinganothertouchatthem.Oneday,therefore,whiletheCardinalwasengagedatplaywithsomeotherCardinalsafterdinner,IdoubtednotthatIshouldhaveabundanceofleisuretoresorttomyoldsportagain.Quiteconfidentofthis,Iranformytools,whichIhadhidinasnug place, and glided into the closet without being perceived by any one.ScarcelyhadIraisedthelidandthrust inmyarm,whenhisEminenceenteredthechamber,andfindingneitherofhispagesthere,assistedhimselftowhathewanted.Iheardhim,andendeavouredtoreleasemyarmwithsomuchhasteandfear thatIstruckthewedgeoutwithmyelbow,andthe lidfellonmyarm,sothatIwascaughtlikeabirdinatrap.TheCardinal,hearingthenoise,begantobe alarmed for his sweetmeats, and entered the closet immediately, where hefoundme in this ludicroussituation:“Ah!ah! friendGuzman,”criedhe,“is itthenyouwhorobmeofmysweetmeats?”ThegrimacesthatImadeatfindingmyselfsofairlycaughtweresoridiculousthathecouldnotrestrainhislaughter.HeevencalledtheotherCardinalsthattheymightenjoymyconfusion,wholeftoffplayingandranupimmediately;andaftertheyhaddivertedthemselvesforsometimeatmyexpence,theyentreatedhimtoforgivemethistime,sayingthatthey were convinced I should not again transgress. But my master wasinexorable:all that theirprayerscouldobtainformewas, thatIshouldreceiveonlyadozenlashesinsteadoffour-and-twenty,whichIhadsorichlydeserved.Thischastisementcouldnotberemitted;andthemajor-domo,signorNicola,mymortal enemy, was charged to inflict it in his own apartment; which duty heacquittedhimselfofwithsuchheartygoodwill, thatIwasscarcelyabletostirforaboveafortnightafter.

Itwasnotmanydays,however,before Iwasavengedonhimfor thishardusage.Youmustknowthatthischancedtobejusttheseasonformosquitos,withwhich Rome was more than usually swarmed that year. Signor Nicola, who

loved his ease, was complaining one day in my presence how much he wasannoyedinhisbedbythesetroublesomecompanions.“Signor,”saidI,“youwillhaveonlyyourselftoblameifyouarenotquicklyridofthemforever.InSpainwe have an infallible secret to secure ourselves from being plagued by theseinsects,which,ifyouplease,Ishallbehappytocommunicatetoyou.”“Youwillobligemebeyondmeasure,”answeredNicola.“Youhaveonly,”repliedI,withaserious countenance, “to lay at your bed’s-head a good bunch of parsleywellsteepedinvinegar,ofwhichtheseverminareextremelyfond,andwhichissuretokillthem.”

Hebelievedme, and tried theexperiment thatverynight,but ithadaverydifferent effect, forhe foundhimself assailedmore cruelly than ever, andwasevenfearfulthattheywouldhaveeatenhisnoseoffortornouthiseyes,andhadgivenhimselfathousandviolentthumpsonthefaceduringthenighttogetridofthem.Thushadhefoughtwiththemuntildaylight,whenhefoundthathehadnotcomeveryvictoriouslyoff,forthatevenofsuchofhisenemiesashethoughthehadcrushed,verymanyhadescaped.Ididnotfailtogointohischambertoseehimthefirstthinginthemorning,andhisswolneyesquicklyassuredmeofthesuccessofmyplan.Hetoldmehowhehadbeentormented,sayingthatmysecret was not worth a farthing. I affected great astonishment. “You cannotthen,” said I, “have left theparsley longenough in thevinegar,or thevinegaryouweresuppliedwithmusthavebeenveryweakandbad;forIassureyou,thatby carrying a bunch of parsley prepared in the same manner into my ownchamber,Ihaveentirelycleareditofthesetroublesomeguests,whoweretherein swarms before I used this remedy.” The major-domo was fool enough tobelievemeagain,andleftawholebundleofparsleytosoakforabovesixhoursinthestrongestvinegarhecouldprocure,andthennotonlyputitintohisbed,but scattered it all over his chamber.God knowswhat furious attacks hewasthereforeexposedto:Iverilybelievethatallthemosquitosintheneighbourhoodpoureddowninlegionsuponhimtodevourhim,andmadesofuriousanassault,thattheylefthimlikealeperalloverhisbody.Whatathrashingwouldhehavegivenme had hemetme on the following day! but his Eminence, to preventaccident,calledusbothintohispresence,desiringhimnottotreatmeharshlyontheoccasion,andatthesametimegavemeaslightreprimand,thoughhecouldscarcely restrainhis laughter at the successofmy scheme. “Forwhat reason,”said the good prelate, “have you played such a scurvy trick upon SignorNicola?”“MyLord,”repliedI,“fornootherreasonthanthatwhenhehadordersto give me a dozen lashes for my exploit among the sweetmeats, heaccommodated me with more than twenty on his own account. I have only,

therefore,avengedmyscarsbythoseIhaveinflictedonhim.Thus ended this notable affair. Ever since my unlucky adventure of the

sweetmeat-chest, I had been discharged from the chamber of the pages. Theflogging I gotwas not the onlyway inwhich Iwas punished, for I had beenpassedintotheChamberlain’sdepartment,toserveamongthefoot-boysuntilIhadsufficientlyatonedformyoffence tobereinstated inmyformerpost.TheChamberlainwasamanofhonourandsincerity,butrathertooscrupulous,andeven inclined to be visionary. He had several relations in the neighbourhood,whowere very virtuous girls, but so poor, that hewould send every day twothirdsofhisownmealstoenablethemtosubsist.Hewentoccasionallytodineorsupwiththem.Thisaffordedanopportunitytotheofficersofthefamily,andespeciallyourMajor-domo,torallyhimbeforehisEminence,whowasgreatlydivertedbyit.

One night when the Chamberlain came home after having dined with hisrelations,findinghimselfratherindisposed,heretiredintohisownchamberandwent to bed. The Cardinal not seeing him at supper, inquired after him. “MyLord,” saidoneof the servants, “he isnotverywell.”TheCardinal,whowasanxious to know what could ail him, sent one of his gentlemen to see, whoreturnedwithareportthattheChamberlainonlyrequiredagoodnight’srest,andthat he doubted not he would be perfectly well again by the morning. Thispassedoffwellenough;buttheSecretaryNicola,whowasalwaysreadytopicka hole in the Chamberlain’s coat, having learnt the nextmorning that hewasmuch better, caused one of the pages to be dressed up in a young woman’sclothes,who,with theassistanceofabribetooneof thefoot-boys, introducedhimselfintothebed-roomwhiletheChamberlainwasfastasleep,andglidedtothe sideof thebedwherehewasconcealedby thecurtains. ImmediatelyafterthistheSecretarywenttowaitontheCardinal,whoinquiredaftertheinvalidthefirst thing. “He has passed but an indifferent night, I understand,” answeredNicola, “but is much better this morning.” The Cardinal, who loved all hisdomesticsasafatherlovethhischildren,resolved,uponhearingthis,togoandsee the Chamberlain himself, who was disturbed from his slumbers to beapprisedofthehonourintendedhim.

HisEminencethenenteredthesickman’schamber,andsatdownonachairat the side of the bed; but scarcely was he seated, when he saw themetamorphosedpageslipsuddenlyfromthebed-side,whocounterfeiting,mostnaturally, the embarrassed female anxious to escape, got off at length crying,“Oh!goodGod, I am ruined for ever!whatmust hisEminence thinkofme!”TheCardinal,whohadnotbeenprepared for thisscene,andwhobelievedhis

Chamberlaintobeareligioussteadyman,appearedtobeextremelysurprisedatthis sight; but great as his astonishment was, it amounted to nothing incomparisonwiththatofourvisionaryChamberlain,who,asifjustrousedfromamosthorribledream,criedaloud,thatitwasassuredlytheDevilhimselfcometotempthimintheshapeofawoman.Thisideacausedsoexcessiveanagitationofhisspiritsthathecouldscarcelyberestrainedfromleapingoutofbedinhisshirtbefore his Eminence, and taking to his heels. As all the servants who werepresentwereprivytotheSecretary’sdesign,theycouldnotavoidlaughing,fromwhichtheCardinalsoonperceivedthatitwasonlyatrickuponhisChamberlain,andhad thegoodness to relievehisdistressbyundeceivinghimhimself.Afterwhichheretired.

All this was just over when I reached home, having been out on differentcommissions thewhole of themorning. Finding theworthyChamberlain verylow-spiritedonmyreturn,Ienquiredthecause,andherelatedthewholeaffairtome, saying he had no doubt that Nicola was at the bottom of it. “I wouldwillingly,mydearGuzman,”addedhe,“mostwillinglysacrificeoneofmyeyestobeamplyavengedonhimforthisplot,andwithyourassistanceIdoubtnotImaybeable toreturnhima‘rolandforhisoliver.’Aknowingshaver likeyouwill soon devise some good trick to play him.” “Imust confess,” answered I,“thatwere I inyourplace, theSecretary shouldhavenooccasion togo to thePope for absolution; I would make him do sufficient penance for his trick.Remember,however,thatheismysuperior,anditisnotformetointerferewithofficerswhoareaboveme.IfIwasexcusedforthetrickIplayedmasterNicolaonmyownaccount, itwasonlybecausewhatIdidwastorevengemyselfforhisformercruelconducttowardsme.”

InvaindidIrepresent to theenragedChamberlain, thatIdarednot takeuphiscudgels,lestIshouldrepentit;hewouldadmitofnoexcuse.Hisprayers,mygreatfriendshipforhim,themortalhatredIhadfortheSecretary,andaboveallmynaturalpropensitytomischief,determinedmeatlengthtoespousehiscause.“Wellthen,”saidI,“leaveittome,Iwillundertaketomakemytalentsusefultoyou.AllIrequireofyouis,tobehavetowardstheSecretaryasthoughyouhadnot the most distant thought that he was the author of the late plot.” TheChamberlain, simple as he was, played his part so well, that all the servantsthoughthehadforgivenallthathadpassed.

In the meantime I was on the alert in preparing every thing to keep mypromise.Iboughtsomerosin,mastic,andfrankincense,reducedthewholeintoapowder, andmixed themwell together in a paper packet which I kept inmypocket until an opportunity presented itself of making use of it. This offered

itself very opportunely a few days after. Itwas the Spanish post-day, andMr.Secretarybeingverymuchengaged,Iwenttohisapartmentinthemorning,andenteredhiswardrobewherehisservantwas.“James,”saidI,“mydearfellow,Ihavea loafanda finesliceof friedhambelow. Iwantbutabottleofwine tomake a good breakfast. If you can supply this, you shall share with me;otherwiseImustlookforsomeoneelse.”“Mr.Guzman,”answeredJames,hiseyessparklingwithjoy,“Iamyourman;Icaneasilygetyouabottleoftheverybestwine,andifyouwillbutwaithereIshallbewithyouagaininaninstant.”Thussayinghedisappeared, leavingmemasterof thewardrobe.Then lookingaboutforhismaster’sbreeches,forIknewtheSecretarydidnotputthemoninthemorning,having slippedonhisdressinggownoverhis shirt thathemightwritemoreathisease.Iperceivedthemonthebackofachair.Itookthemupand turned them insideout, andafterhaving strewedmypowders all over theinside of them, I replaced them exactly as I found them. James soon returnedwiththewine,butscarcelyhadwebegunbreakfastwhenhismastercalledhimtoassistindressing,anddetainedhiminhisroomsolongthatIwasobligedtofind another to sharemy bottlewithme,waitingmost anxiously for the timewhenIshouldhavethepleasureofseeingmycompositionoperate.

Ithad its fulleffectat theCardinal’sdinner,where therewereanumberofvisitorsthatday.Aswewereinthemiddleofthedog-days,theextremeheatoftheweatherwas very favorable tomy trick.Mr.Nicolawas inwaiting in theparlourwiththeotherofficers.Isoonremarkedbyhisdistortionsthathefeltagreat itching in a part of his bodywhere through respect he darednot put hishand.Heknewnothowtokeephiscountenance,andunfortunately,themoreheshruggedhimselfaboutthemoreheincreasedthepain.Ashewasnaturallyashairyasabear,thepowderstuckinhishairandflesh,andtwitchedhimlikethepoints of a thousand needles. This was not all, for the Cardinal having someorders togivehim,calledhim,andwhilst in theactofwhispering tohim,hisEminencewasobligedtostophisnoseallatonce,saying:“Whatonearthhaveyou about you, that you smell so strong of rosin and frankincense?” TheSecretarycolouredat thesewords, and stood fartheroff fromhismaster,who,perceivingthatalmostallmycomrades,whomtheChamberlainhadletintothesecret,werewhisperingandlaughingamongthemselves,begantosuspectthatIhadbeenatmytricksagain.AsIstoodveryneartohimlookingverydemurelyall thewhile;“Guzman,”saidhe,“what is thefunnowthatseems tocausesomuchtittering?”“Iknownotindeed,”answeredI,“unlessitbeonaccountofourSecretary’s having taken a laxative draught composed of turpentine thismorning.”TheCardinallaughedmostheartily,andthewholetablefollowedhis

example. Nicola now began to see through the business, and not being anylonger able to endure the jeers and laughters with which the dining parlourresoundedathisexpence,tooktohisheelswithaprecipitationwhichredoubledthepleasureofthecompany.Afterhehadlefttheroom,theCardinal,impatienttoknowwhatwasreallythematter,addressedhimselftotheChamberlain,whoconcealed nothing from him. This adventure establishedmy reputation in thepalaceasamostformidablecharacter.

Afterhavingbeenbanishedtwomonthsfromthechamberofthepages,Iwasat length recalled and re-established inmy former post, the duties ofwhich Iresumedwithasmucheffronteryasifnothinghadhappened.Thisbroughttomymindafablewhichyouhavedoubtlessheard,oftheAir,theWater,andShame,whohavingkeptcompanytogetherforsometime,andbeingatlengthobligedtopart,weredesiroustoknowwheretheyshouldseeeachotheragain.QuoththeAir, “youwill always findmeon the topofmountains;”“and I,without fail,”saidtheWater,“mayalwaysbefoundinthebowelsoftheearth.”“Asforme,”saidShamesighing,“ifIamoncepartedwith,itisimpossibletomeetwithmeagain.”Nothing canbemore true: inmyowncase I felt it, for Iwas nownolongersusceptibleofshameatthecommissionofabadaction;theonlyshameIfeltwasinbeingdetected.Inshort,Iwassonaturallydisposedtoknavery,thatIreallybelieveIwouldhavethrownmyselfheadlongfromthetopoftheCastleofSt.Angelo,ifIsawanythingatthebottomworthstealing.

As the goodCardinalwas a great lover of sweetmeats, especially of thosethatcamefromtheCanariesinbarrels,hewouldalwayssendformorewhenhisstockwasout;andwhenthebarrelswereemptytheybecamethepropertyofthefirstservantwhotookpossession.Onefelltomyshareinthismanner,inwhichIkeptmyhandkerchiefs,cards,dice,andothereffectsofapoorpage.Onedayaman called to inform his Eminence that a merchant had just received twelvebarrels of fruits of this description. The Cardinal ordered them for himself. Iheardthisordergiven,andsaidwithinmyself,itshallgohardbutIhaveoneofthem. I retired tomychamber toconsiderhowIcouldmakemyselfmasterofone,andresolvedonthisplan:Iinstantlyemptiedmybarrelofmyoldrags,andhavingfilleditwithearthandstraw,Icloseditdown,andputonthehoopsagainsoneatlythatitlookedasifithadneverbeenopened.Thisdone,Iwentdownintothecourt-yardtowaitthearrivalofthosethatwerefullofsweetmeats.Ihadnotwaited longbefore Iperceived themcomingwith theMajor-domoat theirhead, who ordered us to carry them immediately into the closet where hisEminenceusuallykept them.Eachofmycomrades carriedupabarrel. I tookgoodcaretobethelastwithmine,havingmyreasonsforwishingtowalkafter

all therest.Wewerenecessarily topassbymychamber,so thatseeingmyselffollowed by no one, I slipped in unperceived, and changing the barrels in thetwinklingofaneye,carriedtheoneIhadsowellfilledwithearthandstraw,andlaiditboldlyamongtherestintheCardinal’scloset.HisEminencewashimselfthere tosee them,andwhentheywereallarranged inorderhe turned towardsmewithasmileonhiscountenanceandsaid:“well,Guzman,whatthinkyouofthesebarrels?itwillnotbesoeasyamattertothrustanarmintothese,ortousewedgesaswith the formerones.”“Ifwedgeswillnotdo,” replied I,coolly,“Imaybetemptedtoemploymynails,forthehandsometimesdoestheofficeofthe arm.” “Ah!” repliedhisEminence, “but I defy thee to pilfer these barrels,whichhavenocornerstobeliftedupasthechesthad.”“True,”repliedI,“butIbeseechyourEminencenottodefymeinanything;forthedevilmayinsuchacasefurnishmewiththemeansofdeceivingyou.”“Bethatasitmay,”criedtheCardinal, “I giveyou leavewith allmyheart to steal these sweetmeats if youcan,and Igiveyoueightdays todo it in.Shouldyoubedexterousenough tosucceed,youshallnotonlybeallowedtokeepwhatyousteal,butIpromiseyouas much more: on condition, however, that should your genius be obliged toyield,youwillwithoutmurmuringsubmittowhateverpenaltyImaychoosetoinflict.”

“That is but just my Lord,” said I, “and I agree to the alternative. Yes,”continuedI,“ifIdonotperformmytaskinfourandtwentyhours,forIasknoteightdaysforsotriflinganaffair,IwillsubmittoanypunishmentSignorNicolamaybepleasedtosentencemeto,who,aftertheaffairofthemosquitosandthatof the turpentine, is not likely, youwill allow, tobe too lenient a judge.”TheCardinal laughedat theselastwords,anditwasfinallyagreedthatIshouldbepunishedorrewardedonthefollowingday.

What precautions did not hisEminence take to secure his barrels frommyclutches! besides keeping the key of the closet in his own possession, he setsomeofhismostconfidentialdomesticstobemostconstantlyonthewatch.Thenextdayatdinnerthegoodprelate,fancyingmealittlethoughtful,saidwithasmile:“Guzman,Iseeplainlywhatmakesyousodull;youarereflectingontheluxuryofreceivingahundredlashesfromthevigorousarmofSignorNicola.”“Indeed my Lord” replied I, “nothing was farther from my thoughts; for thesweetmeatsarealreadyinmypossession.”

TheCardinal,fullypersuadedthatnoonecouldpossiblyhavegainedaccesstohisclosetortouchedhissweetmeats,seemedsurprisedatmyeffrontery,andralliedmealldinner-timeonthestrappingthatwasjustlymydue.Iallowedhimto divert himself as long as he pleased, butwhen the dessertwas about to be

servedup,Istoleprivatelyoutofthediningroomuptomyownchamber,anddrewoutofmybarrelsomeofthesweetmeats,withwhichIfilledabasinIhadtaken off the sideboard for that purpose, and carried them to his Eminence’stable. He was so strangely surprised at sight of them, that he could scarcelybelievehisowneyes,“Here,”saidhetothechamberlain,givinghimthekeyofthecloset,“goandcount thebarrelsattentively; theremustbeoneshort.”Thechamberlain returnedwithanassurance that theywereall safe. “Ah,ah!” saidthe Cardinal, “I now see through your finesse, my poor Guzman. You havepurchasedsomeofthesamemerchantwhosoldmethesefruits,andnowhopetomakemebelievethatyouhavestolenthem;butitwillnotdo,Mr.Guzman;yourundertakingwastoopenandpilferoneofmybarrelsandtakeoutsomeofthesweetmeats;thiswasourwagerasyouwillbepleasedtorecollect;youcannot,therefore,escapethepunishment.”“Come,SignorNicola,”continuedhe,“seizethisrashyouth,andinflictonhimsuchchastisementashemayappeartoyoutodeserve.”“Softly,myLord,”saidI,attheselastwords;“IconfessthatIamplydeserveallthisifthesweetmeatsthatIhavejustlaidbeforeyouarenotsomeofthoseyourEminenceboughtyesterday;butyoumustallowalsothatIhavewonifIprovethecontrary,byconvincingyouthatIhaveatthismomentinmyownchamberoneofthetwelvebarrelsthatwereyesterdaybroughtintoyourpalace.”

“Becautiouswhatyouaffirm,page,”interruptedtheChamberlain;“therearetwelve barrels in my master’s cabinet which I have counted over and overagain.” “Thatmay be,” said I to theChamberlain, “but recollect that thewolfoften eats the counted sheep.” The Cardinal anxious to know the truth of thematter, hastened his dinner over, that hemight examine his closet,whither herepaired,accompaniedbyallthegueststhatdinedwithhimthatday,whoforthemostpartfeltconvincedbytheboldfaceIassumed,thattheaffairwouldnotendtomydisadvantage.

His Eminence counted the barrels himself, and finding twelve, “Guzman,”said he, “here are the twelve barrels that I bought.” “My Lord,” answered I,“there are certainly twelve, but they are not all full of sweetmeats.” TheCardinal,losingpatience,wishedtohavethemopened.“No,no,”criedI,“Iwillsaveyouthattrouble.”Sayingwhich,IpointedouttohimthebarrelIhadfilledwith earth and straw, and while they were opening it I ran to my chamber,whenceIreturnedwiththeother,whichwasstillhalffulloffruit,andrelatedinwhatmannerIhadgainedpossessionofit.

All the companypresent applaudedme formydexterity, and laughedmostheartilyattheadventure.HisEminence,agreeablytopromisepresentedmewithasecondbarrel,whichIresignedtomycomrades,toshewthatwhatIhaddone

wasbuttoamusemyworthymaster.Diverted,however,ashewasbymyslightsof hand, he would undoubtedly have dismissed me his service for example’ssake,hadhenotapprehendedthatifheabandonedmeImighthavebeendrivento the commission of somemore desperate act which would end in my utterdestruction.Thus thisgoodprelate, compassionatingmyyouth, retainedme inhis family in spite of allmy faults, that Imight not be compelled to commitgreatercrimeselsewhere.

CHAP.XXVII.

GuzmancontinuesplayinghistricksattheCardinal’s,whoatlengthdismisseshim.

THECardinalwascertainlythebestmasterintheworld.Whatinfinitepainshetooktomakemeanhonestman!Hewouldneitheremploythreatswithme,nororderme to be beaten, lest I should be terrified, and run away from him; themildness of his character prevented him from resorting to such means. Heendeavoured to inspiremewith a love of virtue by gentle remonstrances, andevenbygifts.WhenIdidanythingpraise-worthy,whichindeedhappenedveryseldom, he never failed to rewardmewell for it.When he was at table, andthought I had a longing for any little tit-bit, he would give it me, and thiscondescension was generally accompanied by a little good-natured bantering.“Guzman,” said he, one day, giving me with his own hand a piece of tart:“receive this fromme as a tribute,which I pay to preserve peace betweenus.ThefateofMasterNicolamakesmequakeforthesafetyofmysweetmeats.”

It was thus that he condescended to familiarize himself with his servants;who,delightedwith sokindamaster,wouldalmosthave sacrificed their livesforhissake.Ifservantsgenerallydislikethosemasterswhotreatthemharshly,on the other hand, those masters, who are kind to their servants, are alwayssincerelybeloved.

A short time after the barrel adventure, a large chest of sweetmeats, finelygilded,andcuriouslyarrangedinboxes,wassenttohisEminencefromGenoa.His Lordshipwasmore than usually pleasedwith them, as they came from averydearrelation,whomadehimasimilarpresenteveryyear.Thesweetmeatswereexquisitelygood,butbeingputintoboxeswhichwereratherdamp,itwasnecessarytoplacetheminthesun,totakeoffthemoisturewhichtheboxeshadcommunicatedtothem.

TheCardinalseemedata loss toknowwheretheyshouldbeput tobesafefrommypilferinghands.Eachof the servantsgavehisopinion,but therewasnotoneamongst themboldenough to takechargeof,and toanswer for them.“Well,well,”saidhisEminence,seeingmecomein,(forIhadbeenoutofthepalacewhilethisconsultationwasgoingon,)hereisGuzman,whowillextricateusfromthisdifficulty;myfriend,”continuedhe,“weareatalossforaproperplacetodrythesesweetmeats in;forIamexcessivelyafraidof therats!”“MyLord,” answered I, “nothing in theworld canbe easier than to hinder the rats

fromtouchingthem:youhaveonlytogivethemuptomeandmycompanions.”“Verytrue,”repliedtheprelatesmiling;“butthoughthismaybeaverycertainmethodtokeep themfromtherats, I intend to tryanother,andamresolved togivethemintoyourkeeping.Takecaretoexposethemtothesuneveryday;andsee thatyougiveagoodaccountof them;youseewhat state theyare in.Youmustwatchwithoutceasingfortheirsafety,andreturnthemexactlyastheyaredeliveredtoyou,underpainofforfeitingmyfavor.”“Ah,myLord!”criedIatthesewords, “you knownot towhat trial you expose the frailGuzman; I canguard well enough against the rats, and against the most cunning of mycompanions;but Icannot indeedguardagainstmyself. Iam,alas!anunhappysonofEve,andifIfindmyselfinaparadiseofsweetmeats,tentoonebutsomeunluckyserpentmaytemptme.Butyet,ifyourExcellencysaystome,Guzman,Iamcontentthatyoushouldeatmysweetmeats,provided,onopeningthebox,thatitnowhereappearsthattheyhavebeenmeddledwith;—onthiscondition,Iwilltakethemundermycare,andweshallbothbesatisfied.”“Iconsenttoit,”answered theCardinal;“youaredexterousenough for that, Iwill forgiveyou;but be assured, that if the theft can be perceived, you shall be chastised.” Iundertookthecommissionontheseterms.Iopenedandspreadouttheboxesoneafter another inagallery thatwasexposed to the sun; and thebeautyof thesesweetmeats made a suitable impression on such a liquorish young rogue as Iwas.Nevertheless,whateverlongingIhadtotastethem,Iwaiteduntiltheywerea littledrier:whichbeing thecasea fewdaysafterwards, I thoughtofnothingbuthowIshouldmanagetopilferpartofthisfinefruitwithimpunity:andthusMr.Enterprisewentaboutit.Ifirstshutuptheboxes,whichIthenturnedgentlyupsidedown;andthenhavingdrawnoutwiththepointofaknifethenailswhichfastened the bottomof them, I took some sweetmeats from four boxes only. Ithencarefullyfilledupwithpaper theemptyspaces,andrestored theboxes totheiroriginalstate.Oneeveningastheprelatewastakinghisafternoon’srepast,foritwasafastday,ItoldhimthatIthoughtthesweetmeatsweredryenoughtobeputaway.“Ineednotask,”answeredhewithasmile,“ifyouhaveeatenagoodpart of them.” “At leastmyLord,” said I, “it does not appear so, if youlookat them.”“Weshallsee,”saidhe,“letsomeof theboxesbebroughtheredirectly.” I took threeofmycompanions intomy room,where theywere, andgaveeachof themonetocarry, takingafourthmyself.Thesefourboxeswerethosewhichhadpassedthroughmyhands.IpresentedthemtohisExcellence,andaskedhim ifhedidnot think that theyappeared tobewellpreserved.Heinspectedthemverynarrowly,andseeingnothingtocauseanysuspicion,hesaidtome,“Ishallbeperfectlysatisfiedifalltheothershavebeenaswellpreservedas these:Hiscuriositywassatisfied;he lookedat thoseboxeswhichIhadnot

touched,andafteralonginspection,heconfessed,“thatifIhadstolenanyofthesweetmeats, it certainlywasnowhereapparent.”Upon this I ran tomy room,andplacingthesweetmeats,whichIhadstolen, intoadish,Ireturnedtoshewthemtotheprelate,assuringhimatthesametime,“thatIhadnottastedhisfruit,whateverlongingIhadforthem,ashemighteasilyascertain.”Ileaveittoyouto imagine the surprise of theCardinal, andof all his domestics,who lookinguponmeaslittlelessthanajuggler,weremorethaneverontheirguardagainstme.

Weweremade to study four hours a day:wewere taught Latin, and evenGreek;andweemployedtherestofourtimeinreadingamusingbooks,andintheinstructionsofthemusicanddancingmaster.Gaming,however,wasstillmyfavorite amusement; butwe served amasterwhose character obliged us to beverycautioushowweconductedtheseaffairs;ifhehadhadtheleasthintofsuchathing,hewouldmostlikelyhavemadeaclearhouseofusall.

Itwas in thismanner, that I spentmy youth in the service of theCardinalwhereitmaybesaidtruly,thatIledaveryagreeablelife.Nevertheless,farfrombeinghappy, I imaginedmyself in cruel slavery. Iwaseven foolishenough toregrettwentytimeshavingquittedthesocietyofthebeggars:Ihadalsoanothercause forbeing tiredofmysituationaspage: thebeardonmychinconvincedmethatIwasnolongerachild,andIburnedwithdesiretowearasword.

It is time,saidI, thatIshouldbegintothinkofmakingmyfortune;butfarfromthinking that Iwas in thebesthousepossible to forward thisdesign,andfrom following a line of conduct suitable to that idea, I devoted myself soincessantlytothegamingtablethatIneglectedmyduty.Notfindinganyoneathomewhowouldplaydeepenoughforme,Icontractedthehabitofgoingintothecitytoseekforplayers,mentomytaste,anddidnotreturnduringthewholeday.AtlengthIcarriedthiseagernessforplaytosuchlengths,thathislordshiphardlyeverseeingme,insistedonbeinginformedthereasonofmybeingalwaysabroad; andmy companions were obliged to communicate it to him. Hewastrulydispleasedat it.Hesparednothing tocuremeof thispernicioushabit; toaccomplishwhich,heemployedremonstrances,promises,andevenprayers,butunfortunatelyallhispainswerebestowedtonopurpose.

Oneday,whenhewasdiscoursingaboutme to theprincipalofficersofhishousehold,he said to them:“sinceall themeanswhich Ihavemadeuseof torecal him to a sense of his duty have been hitherto useless, Iwill try anothermethodthathasjustoccurredtome.Thenextfaultthathecommits,heshallbesentfrommypalace,inorderthatwemayseeifthispunishmentwillmakeanymoreimpressiononhim,thanallthelecturesIhavegivenhim.Idonotmeanby

that,”continuedhe,“toabandonhimtowant:hisusualallowanceshallbegivenhimeveryday,andIwilltakecarethatheshallbeinformed,thatIshallalwaysbereadytotakehimintomyserviceagain,whenhehaschangedhiscourseoflife.”Oexcellentprelate,whoseextraordinaryvirtueisworthyofeternalpraise!

ItwasnotlongbeforeIfurnishedhisexcellencywithanopportunitytomaketrialofthenewmethodhehadthoughtoftocorrectme.Twoorthreedaysafter,Ilostatplaythewholeofmyclothes,notexceptingmyliverycoat,sothatIhadnothing remaining to coverme, exceptmy breeches and doublet, for which Icould get no one to play. I returned to the palace in this condition, and shutmyself up in my chamber. My master seeing such an instance of disorderlyconduct,executedhisdesign.Heorderedthemajor-domotoreplacetheclothesIhadlost,andthentodismissme.Themajor-domoobeyed,andsendingmeaway,toldmethathisEminencelovedmestill inspiteofmyfaults;andthathehadgiven orders that I should havemymeals at the palace as usual, and that hewould receiveme again among his domestics, when he was persuaded that Isincerely repentedofmypast course of life. Far from feelinggrateful for thiskindnessoftheholyprelate,Iwassoproud,orrathersofoolish,astospurnatit:andIwentoutofhishousegrumblingasifIhadhadgreatcauseofcomplaint,andvowing that Iwouldnever enter hisdoors again. I thought indeed that hewasverywrongtousemethus;anddeterminedtorevengemyselfuponhimbyruiningmyself.

CHAP.XXVIII.

GuzmanentersintotheserviceoftheSpanishAmbassador.

MYridiculouspridelongpreventedmefromperceivingtheextremefollyofmybehaviour.At first Iamusedmyselfbystrollingabout thestreetsofRomeandeating at the houses of my acquaintance, but I found that my civil receptionamong themdidnot last long; scanty fareandgloomy looks salutedmeeverywhere,andIwassoonatalossforadinner.ThisverifiestheSpanishproverb:Liveaweekwithyouruncleorcousin,amonthwithyourbrother,ayearwithyourfriend;butinthehouseofyourfatheryoumayliveforlife.

Isoonperceivedthatspungingwasavillainoustrade,andbegantoregretthatIwas self-exiled from the tableof the cardinal’spages;but the faultwas thenirreparable,sinceatthattimehisEminencefellsickanddied.Helefttoallhisservants, by his will, money enough to support them comfortably for theremainderof their lives.Thiscircumstancedroveme todespair,as Icouldnotforgive myself for having, by my deplorable folly, excluded myself from theprovision which would otherwise have been made for me. I saw no otherresource,buttooffermyservicestotheSpanishAmbassador,whohadbeenoneofthemostintimatefriendsofmydeceasedmaster,andknewmeverywell.Hehadalsoinmorethanoneinstancegivenmetokensofhisgoodwill.

I had no sooner expressed my desire of entering into his service, than hetestified the utmost willingness to receiveme. He had often condescended tohonorwithasmilethejestsandstorieshehadheardfrommeatthepalaceofthecardinal.Heconsideredmeasadexterousyoungfellow,andverywelladaptedforhisbuffoonandpimp.Thislasthonorableemploymentwaswhathechieflydesignedforme,asyouwillsoonperceive.ButfirstImustdepictthecharacterofthisminister.

HewaschosentoconductanembassytoRome,ataverycriticalperiod;thissituation required a penetrating genius, and a man of great address. Hisexcellencyperfectlyjustifiedtheconfidencewhichthekingreposedinhim.Buthehad a foible, a little too commonamongstmenof rank,—that ofbeing toomuchaddictedtowomen.Butforthiscircumstance,hewouldhavebeenmoreesteemed than any other Ambassador at that court. Having, then, judged meworthy tohave themanagementofhis intrigues,hebegan to informmeofhisvirtuous intentions.Then, that Imightgivehimaspecimenofmyabilities,heemployedme in some triflingmessages of gallantry, inwhich I had the good

fortunetoacquitmyselftohisentiresatisfaction.Thiscoupd’essaiwasfollowedby two or three commissions of the same nature, though of somewhat moredifficulty, which were conducted with equal success. Nothing more wasnecessarytoestablishmeperfectlyinhisgoodgraces,andheconceivedsuchafriendshipformethatIsoonbecamehisfavoritepage.FromthismomentSignorGuzmanwasallinallinhismaster’shouse.IdidasIpleased,andeverythingthatIdidwaswelldone.Theotherdomesticsdidnotseemygrowinggreatnesswithoutenvy,especiallythoseoflongeststanding;somecalledmemymaster’sbuffoon,andsomehispimpinordinary.NeverthelessIdidnotpresumeuponthefavoroftheAmbassador,andwassofarfromdoingthesespitefulgentryanyilloffices with his excellency, that I gladly seized every opportunity of servingthem,inconsequenceofwhichtheyforboretoshewmeanyparticularmarkoftheirillwill,andwelivedtogetheronprettytolerableterms.

While I was with the Ambassador, I did not disgrace the reputation I hadacquiredonaccountofmy frolicsat thepalaceof theCardinal, and Iwasnotverysparingofmytricks,astherecouldnotbeanyplaceintheworldthatcouldopen awider field for them than the house ofmynewmaster. Parasites oftencameinatdinnertime.MyfellowpagesandIwerenotatalosstodistinguishthemfromrespectablepeoplewhommymasterwas reallyhappy to seeathistable.Wetookcaretobeveryattentivetothelatter,butasforthespungerswhowere most of them mere adventurers, they had but scurvy commons, whichdivertedtheAmbassadorexceedingly.Onewassufferedtoaskinvainfordrinkduring the whole meal; it was of no use to make signs, we pretended not tounderstand them.Another hadhis glass handed to himhalf full, and the glassshapedinsuchafashion, thathalf the liquorwouldremainin theglass;whichonly tantalized his thirst. Another was served with water prepared of a redcolour.—Ifadaintymorselwascarvedforanyoneofthesegentry,wechangedhisplatesoquicklythatthepoordevilhadscarcelytimetotasteit.Inaword,wedideverythinginourpowertodrivethemallfromhisExcellency’stable,andweresometimesluckyenoughtosucceed.

Amongtheadventurerswhoweredrawntogetherbythesavoryfumeswhichproceededfromourkitchen,therewasaforeignerwhosurpassedalltheothersin impudence.Heaffirmedhimself tobea relationof theAmbassador, thoughhismannerswereasoppositeaspossibletothoseofamanofquality.Hisbrazenimpudencewashisonlyintroduction,andinspiteofthefrozenreceptionhemetwith from his Excellency, he assiduously pestered him with his company atdinner.Hedidnothingbutboastofhimselfandofhiscountry:—thepolitenessofhiscountrymen,—theircivilitiestostrangers,andtheirhonesty,weretopicsof

whichhewasnever tired.Asfor thewomen, thewiveswereallLucretiasandthedaughtersVestalVirgins.IshouldneverhavedoneifIweretorepeatallthepraiseswhichheheapeduponthepeopleofhisowncountry:atlastheweariedallthecompanywithhisfoolishdiscourse,butespeciallymymaster,whobeingquiteoutofpatience,saidtomeonedayinCastilian,whichthisbladedidnotunderstand; “You know not, Guzman, how weary I am of this fellow’srhodomontade.”

Itmaybesupposedthatthishintwasnotlostuponapagewhowasneitherdeafnorafool.Iunderstoodwellenoughthatthistroublesomepersonagemustabsolutelybegotridof.Toaccomplishthisend,Ipostedmyselfbehindhischairat dinner, and whenever he asked for drink, which happened almost everyminute,ItookaverylargeglasswhichIfilledtothebrimwithsostrongasortofwinethatitcouldnotfailtointoxicatehimspeedily;whenIsawthatthiswaseffected,Itiedoneofhislegstohisownchairwithapieceofsilktwist,withoutany of the guests perceiving what I did. When dinner was ended, theAmbassador rose, and the company followed his example, but when mygentlemanwould have done the same, he and the chair had such a heavy falltogether, that I am much mistaken if his nose and jaws did not rue thecircumstanceforalongtimeafterwards.Ipretendedtohelphimupandgentlyuntied the string. Nevertheless, in spite of all the wine that he had drank, heperceivedthateverybodylaughedathisexpense,andsuspectingthecauseofhisdisaster, he went away in a rage and never came again: which pleased hisExcellencybeyondmeasure,thathehadsoeasilygotridofsuchatroublesomeguest.

Having thus driven this spunger from the field,my companions and I nextundertookthediscomfitureoftheothers,butwefoundsomewhowerenottobeso easily disposed of.Amongst others, therewas a Spanish bully,who calledhimself a gentleman of Cordova. He came one day about dinner time, andsalutedhisExcellencytheAmbassadorveryceremoniously,informinghimthathe was in pecuniary distress, and that his pressing necessity obliged him todisclosehissituation.

Mymaster,whoeasilyunderstood thedrift of all thisharangue, tookout apurse of pistoles, which he gave him unopened, and bowing politely, turnedawayfromhim;buttheCordovan,farfromretiringuponthishint,followedhimclosely,andbegantalkingofthedangershehadgonethrough,andatlasthadtheeffrontery to take a seat next to hisExcellency at the table. “Ihope,” saidhe,“yourExcellencywillnotbeoffendedat the liberty I am taking,but even if Iwas not a gentleman of family, my having served in his Majesty’s army, is

sufficienttoentitlemetothehonorofeatingwithPrinces.Besides,”addedhe,“thetableofaNoblemanofyourreputation,shouldalwaysbeopentoOfficerswhoseserviceshavenotmetwithameritedrecompense.”

After this fine speech, he fell to on the dish nearest him,with the greatestavidity.Heate likeahalf starvedgluttonashewas.Then lookingatme,whowasnearesttohim,hebeckonedtomefiveorsixtimestobringhimsomewine;butunluckily formygentleman, insteadofpayinganyattention tohis signs, IpretendedthatIdidnotobservethem.

Ifhethoughtatfirstthisneglectarosefromcarelessnessorstupidity,hewassoonundeceived,andperceivedmy roguishmaliceplain enough. “Page,” saidhe tome, in a loud voice, “have you been ordered to letme diewith thirst?”Upon this, my master, who had no small inclination to laugh at this scene,noddedtometoservethisadventurer;butItookgoodcaretogivehimoneofthesmallestglasses,andwasevenspitefulenoughtohandithimhalfempty.

Just as this happened, and when I was carrying back the salver to thesideboard,thereenteredtwootherparasiteswhomIknew,byhavingfrequentlyseen themat theAmbassador’s table.Notbeing able to find anyvacant seats,they began to examine the guests, and particularly the pretended noble ofCordova,andastheyseemedtometoregardhimwithanairofcontempt,mycuriosity was excited. I approached the new comers, and asked them if thegentlemanwhomtheyexaminedsoattentively,wasoneoftheiracquaintance.

“Gentlemanindeed!”criedoneofthetwo;“surelyyouarejesting,myfriend;learnthat thisfellowwhoisnowfillingat that table theseatwhichisonlyforrespectablemen,andwhomyouthinktobeofnobleblood,isthesonofamanwho has often made boots for me, and who keeps a shop near the cathedralchurchofCordova.”“Ifhecomes inmyway,”said theother,“Ishall tellhimsomethingmore than hewill like to hear.” Speaking thus, these braggadocioslookedverybig, twisted theirmustachios,and retreated together into thecourtyardtoconsiderwhatstepstheyshouldnexttake.

When they had been there a short time, I went out and joined them:“Gentlemen,”saidI,“thismanwhomyoudespisesomuch,affirmsthatyouarea couple of despicable fellows, and says he is surprised at your impudence indaringtointrudeyourselveshere.Ifyouwillwaittillhehasdined,hewillcomeand tell you more himself.” “Let him come; let him come;” cried they bothtogether:“wewilllethimknowwhomhehastodealwith.”Havingthusenragedthemagainst theOfficer ofCordova, I returned to the latter, and in awhisperloudenough tobeheardby thewholecompany, informedhim that thereweretwogentlemenbelow,whowantedamoment’sconversationwithhim.“Letthem

have patience,” answered he; “I shall not quit his Excellency while he is attable.”“Theyaffirm,”added I, “thatyouhaveannouncedyourself falselyasacavalierofnoblebirth,andthatyouarebutthesonofacobbler.”“Heavenandearth,”criedhe,withafuriousaspect,“cantherebeanyonesotiredofhislifeastodare to talk in thismannerofaman likeme?whereare these scoundrels?”continuedhe,risingfromtable,“wherearethey?theirearsatleastshallpayfortheir temerity.” “You have but to followme,” said I, “and Iwill bring you totheminstantly.”At thesewords I tookhimby thearm,and ledhimoutof theroom,thoughheseemedtohavebutlittledesiretoquitit.

Immediately the Ambassador and the company hastened to the windowswhich looked into thecourtyard, tosee the terminationof thequarrelwhichIhadcontrivedtostirupbetweenthese threebullies.“Gentlemen,”saidI to thetwowhowerewalkingthecourt,“hereisthepersonwhosefather,ifyouaretobe believed, is aCordovan shoemaker.” “Let him thank his stars,” cried they,“thatourhandsaretiedbytherespectweowetothispalace,whichweconsiderasbelonging to theKingofSpain.”Seeing theofficer in such apanic that hecouldnotutterasinglesyllable,Itookuphiscause.“Gentlemen,”saidI,“thiscavalierwillgooutdirectlyifyouwishit,andisreadytoterminatehisdisputewith you in the street.” “No, no,” answered they, retreating with the utmostprecipitation, “we shall take another opportunity to meet him.” Their retreatbroughtbackthecourageofourgallant,whopretendedtotreatthemascowards.Hehimself,therefore,wentoutamomentafterthem,buttookcaretochooseadifferentroad.TheAmbassadorandhisguestswereinfinitelydivertedwiththisridiculous adventure, and a thousand witty things were said at their return totable, at the expense of our three adventurers. After dinner every one retired,whilsthisExcellencywithdrewtohischambertoenjoyhisafternoon’snap.

CHAP.XXIX.

OftheTrickthatGuzmanplayeduponaCaptainandaLawyer,whocametodineattheAmbassador’swithouthavingbeeninvited.

NOTHINGaffordedmymastermorepleasurethanseeinghisgenteelacquaintanceathis table; andhewasoftenwillingeven to tolerateparasites,provided theirwitcompensatedfor theirentertainment;buthewasalwaysmuchvexedat theappearanceofthelatter,whenitsohappenedthathehadaselectpartytodinewithhim.This being the case, youmaywell conceive that itwasnotwithoutconsiderablepain thathesawtwoof thesehangers-onenterhis roomoneday,when he expected the FrenchAmbassador and other persons of distinction todinewithhim.Oneof thesewasaCaptain,and theotheraLawyer,neitherofwhomwantedmerit inhisownline,butas theycould talkonnoothersubjectbuttheirrespectiveprofessions,theyhadbecomequiteanuisanceinthehouse.

The Ambassador could not help bowing as he saw them enter, of which,however, they took not the slightest notice; and so far from taking their leaveafterthiscoldreception,theyseemeddeterminedtostay,andjoinedtherestofthe company accordingly. My master looked at me, and I understood in aninstantthatitwouldnotdispleasehimifIcouldinanywaydivertthecompanyattheexpenseofthesegentlemen.ThusthenIsetaboutit.

Youmustbeinformed,inthefirstplace,thattheLawyer,whowasagrave,formalman,hadapairofhugewhiskers,ofwhichhetooksuchparticularcare,thathescarcelydaredeventosmileforfearofdiscomposingthem.Iobservedthatheoftentookaslypeepatthemwithgreatdelight,inalittlemirrorwhichhedrewoutofhispocketwithhishandkerchief,pretendingall thewhiletobeblowing his nose. Having taken particular notice of this manœuvre of his, Iwaitedpatientlyuntilthedessertwasplacedonthetable,whentheconversationbecoming lively, I soonhad anopportunity of puttingmyplan in execution. Ithenwentup to theCaptainandwhisperedsomething tohimwhichmadehimlaugh. He answered me in the same tone, and so I continued laughing andwhisperingwithhimforaconsiderabletime,alwaystakingpainstolookattheLawyer, to make him think that we were talking of him. At length, when Ithought it was time, I assumed a more serious air, and said aloud, as if stillcontinuingtheconversation,“No,no,Captain,Iamyourmosthumbleservant,butIprotestIcantakenopartinthisjoke,therespectthatIowemymaster,andhisfriendtheLawyer,willnotpermitmetotakesuchaliberty.”

“What’s the matter, Guzman?” said my master, hearing this. “Truly, sir,”answeredI,“theCaptaincantellyoubetterthanI.Hehasbeencrackingjokesupon theLawyer’swhiskers forsome timepast,andnowwishesme toamusethecompanywiththem.”“Come,come,Guzman,”saidtheFrenchAmbassador,“letusknowthewholeofit.”“Sincemymasterandyoucommandit,”saidI,“itis my duty to tell you. The Captain has been informingme thatMr. Lawyerkeepsawenchtocombanddyehiswhiskerseverymorning,thattheymaynotturngrey,andalwayssleepsonhisbackforfearofrumplingthem.Inshorthehas been amusing me on this subject for this quarter of an hour, trying topersuademetorepeatthejokesasthoughtheywereofmyowninvention;butitisnotforaboylikemetorallysovenerableapersonageinthismanner.”

TheCaptain,insteadofdenyingwhatIasserted,laughedheartily,andallthecompany followed his example, without knowing whether I spoke truth orfalsehood.TheLawyerhesitatedforsomemomentshowtotakethejoke;butnotbeing able any longer to withstand the noble Captain’s immoderate laughter,“Rascal,”saidhe, inarage,“youhavegoodcause, truly, torallymeuponmyage,youwhoboastofyourservicesunderCharlesV.whomyouneversawbutinapicture!ButIdegrademyselfbyputtingmyselfincomparisonwithamanof your stamp.” “Very fine, Mr. Lawyer,” interrupted the Captain, growingwarm, “you forget the company we are in.Were I not more reasonable thanyou,”——“Morereasonable!”criedtheLawyerinhisturn,“whythereisnotagreater fool on the face of the earth.” The Captain had now entirely lost alltemper,andwoulddoubtlesshaveansweredhisfriendtheLawyerbythrowingoneoftheplatesathishead,hadnotthecompanyinterfered,andappeasedthemboth.Neitherofthem,however,venturedtocometothehouseagain;andthusIfreedmymasteroftwoothermosttroublesomeguests.

CHAP.XXX.

TheAmbassadorfallsinlovewithaRomanLady;Guzmanundertakestoassisthiminhisamour;hissuccess.

IHAVEalreadyinformedyou,gentlereader,thattheonlyblemishinthecharacterof theAmbassadorwashis libertineprinciples respecting the fair sex.Hehadseen, thoughbywhat accident Ineverknew, thewifeof aRomanknight, andspeedilybecameviolentlyenamouredofher.Hehadalreadyputanoldbeldameon thescent,whowas trained to theseductionofyoungwomen,but,howeverdextrous his agent might be, all her pains and exertions had hitherto proveduseless,andmymasterwasdriventodespair.Atlastheopenedhismindtome,and expressed themore surprise at Fabia’s withstanding his advances, as thislady, in the flower of her youth, was united to a husband who had all thedisagreeableinfirmitiesofoldage.Thedesignofthisconfidencewastoengagemetoassisthiminthisintrigue;whichhehadbutlittledifficultytoaccomplish.I undertook this honorable employmentwhichmymaster conferred uponme,andonmyinforminghimthatIwasparticularlyintimatewiththewaiting-maidofthatlady,heconceivedthemostflatteringhopes.Hecouldnotcontainhisjoyon learning this circumstance; but embraced me, and said, that having herattendantandmyselfinhisinterest,hedidnotdoubtthatwithourassistanceheshould,soonerorlater,obtaintheobjectofhisdesires.InthenextconversationthatIhadwithNicoleta(whichwasthenameofthelady’smaid)Icontrivedtoengageherinmymaster’sfavor.Shesparednopainstoingratiatehimwithhermistress,bytakingeveryopportunityofpraisinghim,andofsayingsomethingindisparagementof theoldhusband.Nevertheless, after losingagreatdealoftime in attacking Fabia’s virtue by every sort of discourse the most likely tostaggerit,shebegantodespairofsuccess,whenonemorningthatlady,puttingonofasuddenasmilingair,saidtoher,“MydearNicoleta,Iwillunfoldtoyoutheinmostrecessesofmysoul;Icannolongerdissemblewithyou,sowhollydevoted as you are to all my wishes. Learn then that I think the SpanishAmbassador every way worthy of the love of a woman of quality. I can nolongercontinuetotreathimsoharshly.Butyouknowmycharacter;youknowthat I am a slave to reputation. Find out some method to compromise myinclination for himwithmy delicacy, and if you can discover one that provessatisfactory,Ishallnolongermakeanyscrupleofreturningthepassionofthisamiable Nobleman. I allow you to divulge every thing to Guzman, and even

wishthathemay, ifpossible,be introducedtometo-night.Youcanbringhiminto the house secretly, and I shall be able to converse with him withoutdiscovery.” Nicoleta, who was transported with joy to see her mistress sofavorably inclined towardsmymaster, embraced her knees, kissed her hands,andacteda thousandfooleriesbeforeher,which testifiedher rapture.Then, inthehopeofstrengtheningherresolution,shebegantoboastofthegoodqualitiesof theAmbassador; and concludedby assuring her that the intrigue should beconducted in soprudent amanner thatnoone living shouldhave the slightestsuspicion of it. Satisfiedwith these assurances, Fabia told her that shewouldleaveeverythingtoherzealanddiscretion.

Uponthis,Nicoletacametoseekforme,and,asiftheexcessofherjoyhadalmost deprived her of her senses, she threwher arms roundmy neck, cryingout,“Mydearfriend,youwillbetransportedattheagreeablenewsIbringyou:mymistressresistsnolonger,butiswillingtomakeyourmasterthehappiestofmen.”Iwassodelightedathearing thesewords,whichI littleexpected, that ItookNicoletabythehand,andledherlikeatriumphantgeneralintomymaster’scloset, where we began to congratulate ourselves on the change that we hadwrought inFabia.HisExcellency presented a purse of Spanish pistoles to thewaiting-woman, who received them with a very good grace, after a littleceremoniousreluctance,asisusualuponsuchoccasions.

This officious agent at length retired, after she had carefully instructedmeconcerning the place where I was to meet her that night, and the hour ofrendezvouswhenIwastobeintroducedtoFabia;andmymasterandIwereleftalone. We passed the whole afternoon in conversation on this intrigue, herelatingtomehowhefirstobtainedasightofthelady,andIcongratulatinghimonhishavingmadesoagreeableanacquaintance.

At theappointedhourIhastenedto therendezvous,at theplacefixeduponbyNicoleta,whocameat last to informmethathermistresscouldnotseemethatnight,andthisdisappointmenthappenedforthreeorfournightsfollowing.MypatronandIdidnotaugurveryfavorablyfromthisbeginning;neverthelesswedid not totally despair; and, at last, one night the confidante informedme,through a smallwindowon the ground-floor, that in a fewminutes she couldintroducemetohermistress.

YoumustknowthatthepassageinwhichIstoodwasextremelymuddy,anditpouredwithrainsoastowetmetotheskin.Iboreallthisfortwohourswithapatiencewhichnothingbutmyextremezealandattachmentformymastercouldhave inspired. At length I heard Nicoleta call me. I obeyed her summonsinstantly, andwas ledbyher througha littledoor,whichwas shut to againas

softlyasitwasopened.“Guzman,”saidshe,“IwilljustrunandletFabiaknowthat you are here, and she will be with you in an instant.” The voice of mycharmersoonmademeforgetmylatewetting,andIthoughtofnothingbutthehappymoment in which I should behold the lady who had so captivated mymaster,andtheextremejoywithwhichIshouldacquainthimthatIhadbeensohappyas toobtainan interview.Itwasnot longbeforeFabiareallycamewithhermaid.“Nicoleta,”saidshe,“whileIamconversingwithSignorGuzman,doyouwatchmyhusband’schamber,andshouldheperchanceaskforme,losenotimeinlettingmeknow.”

It is impossible forme to tellyouwhetherFabiawas in realitybeautifulorugly, for shehad thoughtproper to receiveme in thedark, so that I couldnoteven see her face. In a low voice she began by inquiring anxiously after myhealth.Ifollowedherexample,andaddedthefinestcomplimentIcouldthinkofin behalf of my master, whom I represented as dying for love of her;notwithstandingwhich,itappearedtomethatshepaidbutlittleattentiontowhatIwassaying,forsheconstantlyinterruptedmeinthemostpatheticpartsofmyspeech.Atlengthshesaid,“SignorGuzman,I trustyouwillexcusemeifIdonot listen to you in themanner you deserve; but I am extremely alarmed lestsomeofmyhusband’sspiesshouldoverhearourconversation.Walkonalittleway,”continuedshe,“andyouwillenteraparlour,whereIentreatyouwillwaitforme;meantime,Iwilljustseethatallisrightinthehouse,andshallsoonbewithyouagain.Besureyoumakenonoise.”

Iwasweakenoughtobelievewhatshesaid,andgropedmywayforward,asif I had been playing at blindman’s buff. But instead of reaching a parlour, Ifoundmyselfinabackyard,thepavementofwhichwassodirtyandslippery,thatafterafewstepsIrolledintoaheapofmud,and,inrisingagain,struckmyheadwithsuchviolenceagainstawallhardby,thatIlayforsometimewithoutsenseormotion.Having,however,somewhatrecoveredofthisshock,IgropedverycarefullyalongthewallinsearchoftheparlourIhadbeendirectedto,andatlastenteredatalittledoorwhichIfoundopen,confidentthatImustthenberight.AgainIwasmistaken,andhadtheconsolationtofindmyselfinanarrowpassage,whichwasnotsixfeetinlength,oneachsideofwhichweretwodrainsfrom the house-top, and as it still continued pouring with rain, they had soinundatedthisspot,thatIfoundmyselfonasuddenuptomykneesinwater.Iranbackinstantly,inthehopeofretreatingasIhadentered,butthedoorwasnolongeropen.Eitherthewindhadblownitto,orsomeone,whohadfollowedmeclosebehindall thewhile,which indeed ismoreprobable,had servedme thistrick.Bethatasitmay,Ifoundmyselfobligedtomakeupmymindtopassthe

nightinthisswamp,where,assoonasIranfromonedrainwhichwaspouringuponmyhead,Ifoundmyselfsalutedbytheother.“Outofthefrying-pan intothefire,”mutteredItomyself.“Oh,night,almostasdreadfulasthatinwhichIwasconfinedunderatub,ortossedbydevilsinablanket!”

Disagreeable,however,asmypresentreflectionswere,theywerenothingincomparisonwiththosewithwhichIawaitedthemorning.“WretchedGuzman,”said I, “thou art at last then fairly entrapped! Fabia’s husband will doubtlessinquireyourbusinessherethefirstthinginthemorning.Andwhatanswercanyoumake? Ifyou should tell the truth, for the first time inyour life, youwillmakeyourmasterandyourselfthecommontalkofRome.Whatanswercanyoumakethen,butthatNicoletahadinvitedyou,andthatyouwereunderapromiseto marry her? And even should they oblige you to keep your word, thismisfortunewould be preferable to having all your bones broken tomake youconfessthetruth.Butwhoknowsthattheywillevenaskmeasinglequestion?Perhapsmurderandburymeonthespot.NothingcanbetoobadtofearfromajealousItalianhusband.”

With these frightful thoughts was I haunted until break of day, when Ifancied, all of a sudden, that I heard the yard-door being softly opened, and Iflatteredmyself,atfirst,thatitmustbeeitherthewaiting-womanorhermistresscomeoutofcompassion todeliverme frommyconfinement;butnothingwaslessintheirthoughts.Thedoor,however,wascertainlyopen,thoughIcouldseenobodywho could possibly have opened it. I soon foundmyself again in theyard which I had passed through overnight, and having pushed open anotherdoorwhichwasonlyonthe latch,Ireachedthespotwhere theconfidantehadconversedwithme,andlookingupatthewindowthroughwhichshehadspokentome,I thankedHeaventhatIhadescapedsoeasily.I returnedquicklytomymaster’shouse,andthrewmyselfuponmybed,wrappedupwarmlyinthebed-clothes,notwithoutseriousapprehensionsofamostviolentcold.

CHAP.XXXI.

Guzman’sadventurewithalargeHog,anditsconsequences.

MYmind being toomuch agitated to allowme to sleep, I could not closemyeyes;allmythoughtswereengrossedbytheadventurewhichhadjusthappenedtome.IattributedeverythingtothevengeanceofFabia,whomIconcludedtobeamiracleofchastity,andjudgedthatinordertoundeceivetheAmbassador,shehadgivenhisenvoythisgallantreception.ButIknewthatthisaffairwouldraisea laughwitheverybodyatmyexpense,and thisvexedmemore thanalltherest.IwasalsoatalosstoknowinwhatwayIshouldinformmymasterofthestory,whichsoonerorlaterIwassuremustcometohisknowledge.

When the warmth of the bed had again put my half stagnated blood intocirculation,Iputonanothersuitofclothesintheplaceofthatwhichtherainhadhonoredwithsofinea trimming,andpresentedmyselfbefore theAmbassadoras though nothing had happened. Iwaited until he should questionme, as healwaysdidafterhehad finisheddinner.Hecalledme intohiscloset,whenhesaid to me: “What is the reason Guzman of my not having seen you thismorning?IexpectedyoutogivemeanaccountofwhattookplacelastnightatFabia’shouse.Iamafraidyouhavebutindifferentnewstotellme.”“Itistrue,my lord,” answered I, “thatmynews is not the best in theworld. I knownotwhat to think of Fabia. I passed the whole of the night in the street, withouthearingfromorseeingeithertheladyorthemaid.Wouldtoheaventhatyouhadneverundertakenthisaffair!”“HowcomesitGuzman,”repliedhe,“thatyouareso soon discouraged? some unseasonable mischance perhaps has preventedFabiafromseeingyouasshedesigned,andofwhichthemaidmighthavebeenunabletoinformyou.Donotbedisheartened,however,butreturnto-nighttothesame place where you waited for Nicoleta before.” I promised my masterfaithfully to obey his commands. A groom met me as I came out of hisExcellency’s closet, and brought me a letter from a lady, he said, who haddesiredhimtodeliverittome.’Twasfromthewaitingmaid.Shewasverymuchsurprised, she informedme, that I had not seen her yet to communicatewhatpassedlastnightbetweenhermistressandmyself;however, thatImightmakeamends formy fault, I had only to repair towards evening to the lane behindFabia’s house, where we could enjoy a private conversation through the wellknownlittlewindow.Myhopeswereraisedontheperusalofthisbillet.AtsixintheeveningItookcaretobeinthelane,whichasIhavealreadyremarkedwas

extremely narrow, and filled every where with mud up to one’s ancles. Mydulcineawaswaiting formeat thewindow,andat first began to reproachmesharply;buthertonewassoonchangedonmymakinganexactrecitalofwhatIhadsuffered,andshebegan tocondolewithmeonmyaccident.The trickhermistress had put uponme seemed to excite in her the utmost surprise, and inspiteofmyprejudiceagainsther,shealmostpersuadedmethatshehadnoshareinit.Duringthisconversation,inordertoshewmypolitenessandgetnearerthewindow,Ihadraisedmyselfupbystandingontwostones,whichexposedmetoanewmisfortunewhichmykicklessfateinflicteduponme,aswillappearinthesequel.WhileIwasengrossedbytheconversation,andthinkingofnothinglessthanoftheaccidentthatwasabouttobefalme,acursedhog,ofmonstroussize,and coveredwith filth, rushed out of his sty, and ran betweenmy legs, in sofuriousamanner,thathefairlycarriedmeoffonhisback.

Youmayeasilyimaginethefineentertainmentitaffordedthespectators,whowerebuttoonumerous,asthatpartisgenerallyfilledwithpeople,toseeamanofmyfigureanddressgallopatfullspeedoutofsuchafilthyplace,mountedonanimmensehog,gruntinginthemosthorridmanner imaginable,coveredwithmudfromheadtofoot,andclingingmostlovinglytohisneck,forfearIshouldbreak an armor a leg against thewall,myhat and fine plumeof feathers thedevilknewwhere,astheyhadfallenoffintothemud;allthisIsay,presentedthepassengers with a scene so comical, that they laughed, shouted, andmade somuch noise, thatmy accursedBucephalus becamemore furious than ever.Atlast,not relishing theardourwithwhich Iembracedhim,hegavesoviolentaplunge,thathequicklygotridofhistroublesomerider,forwhomhetookcaretochooseasoftbedaftersofatiguinganexercise,ashedepositedmeintheverymuddiestplacepossible: justat theentranceof theSquareNavonne.Heavens!whatahueandcrywasraisedafterme;aninfinitenumberofallsortsofpeoplesurroundedme, and insulted mymisfortune by a thousand scurvy witticisms,which I suffered in silence; overcome by shame and confusion, I thought ofnothing but escaping into some house, and at last took shelter in one whichseemedlikelytoaffordmeanasylum.Iranin,andslammedthedoorinthefaceof thescoundrelswhohuntedmesounmercifully.Theydidnothingbutcry tothepeopleof thehouse to turnmeoutagain;andanyone, tosee their fury inpersecuting me, would have concluded that I had committed some enormouscrime which had brought on me this exemplary punishment. To crown mymisfortune, themasterof thehouse inwhich Ihad taken refuge,didnot seemmuch inclined to takemypartagainst the insolent rabble.Ashewasa jealousoldfellow,andtookeveryshadowforagallant,hetookitintohiswiseheadto

fancythatthelamentablepickleinwhichIenteredhishousewasnothingbutatrickIhadmadeuseoftocoverthedeliveringofsomeamorousmessage.Filledwith thispreposterous idea,he attackedmewith themostvehement language,and,secondedbyhisdomestics,whofollowedhisexample,hekickedmeoutofhishouse,after their fistshadbestowedonmeaverysounddrubbing.Beholdmethenasecondtimedeliveredintothepowerofthesemercilessjesters,whorunningaftermeasfastasIranfromthem,renewedtheirjokesandinsults.IhadinvokedeverySaintintheCalendar,whenHeaventakingpityuponme,senttomyassistanceayoungSpaniard,whokindlyofferedmehisservices,andthoseofthreeorfourItalianswhoaccompaniedhim.Withtheirassistance(ofwhichHeaven knows I stood in need), I escaped from my persecutors, while theSpaniardandhiscompanionsmakinguseof theflatsideof theirswords,soonputthemtoflight.ImadeallthespeedpossibletowardsourHotel,caringlittleforthesnarlingdogsthatsnappedatmyheelsineverystreetIranthrough.AtlastIwasluckyenoughtoreachhomesafeandsound,exceptingafewbruises.Iwasevensofortunateastoreachmychamberdoorwithoutmeetingwithasoul;butinvaindidIsearchmypocketsoverandoveragain,—nokeycouldIfind,andIconcludedthatasIdrewoutmyhandkerchieftowipemyface,IhadletitfallinthehousewhereIhadsounluckilytakenrefuge.“Ah!miserablewretch,”cried I to myself, “to what purpose have you extricated yourself from thisembarrassment,ifyoucannotconcealitfromtheservantsoftheAmbassador?ifanyone shouldperceiveyou inyourpresentpickle,hewill inform theothers,andyouwillbecomethejestofthehouseformonthstocome.”Atlast,afteralongdeliberation, I resolved to implore theassistanceofoneofmycomrades,whoseroomwasnexttomine,andwhohadprofessedagreatdealofgood-willtowardsme.Iwentandrappedatthedoorofhisroom.Heopenedit,butseeingme so finely decorated, could not refrain from a roar of laughter,which burstfromhiminspiteofhisteeth.Iwascompelledtobearitallwithpatience.“Mygood friend,” said I, “when you have indulged your mirth sufficiently, Iwillrequest thatyouwill dome the favor togoand fetch a locksmith toopenmychamber door.” “I will go directly,” answered he, “but first do gratify mycuriosity; tellme how this accident happened to you, I promise you never toreveal it toany livingsoul.”Toget ridofso inquisitiveaman, I inventedandtoldhimastory,inwhichtherewasnotonewordoftruth:andassoonasIhadfinished,beggedofhimtogoforthesmith.Itwaswiththeutmostunwillingnessthat he leftme in his chamber, hewas so apprehensive that I should soil hisfurniture, that tired as I was, he obliged me to promise, in the most solemnmanner,thatIwouldnotapproachit,butthatIwouldstandupatadistanceuntilhisreturn.Fortunatelyformehereturnedinaveryshorttimewithalocksmith,

whoopenedmydoorinatwinkling,andImadeallthehastepossibletochangemyclothesandlinen,andthoroughlywashmyfaceandhandsof thefilth thatcoveredthem.

Ihadscarcelygotridofmymuddydecoration,whenIwasinformedthattheAmbassadorwantedtospeaktome.Hehadalreadyheardthecatastropheofthehog. In the houses of men of rank, there are always servants who are readyenoughtopaycourt totheirmastersbybetrayingtheirfellows.Butmymasterhadheardaveryinaccurateaccountofthisadventure.Sohedirectlyinquiredofme how the accident happened, andwhether it might not be attributed to therevengeofthehusbandofFabia.Iwasdelightedathisgivingmehimselfsofinean opportunity for inventing a lie. I told him that two tall stout lubbers offootmen,havingobservedmetalkingtoNicoletainthelane,hadthoughtpropertobeginjokingmeonthesubject;thatIhadansweredthem;thatfromwordsweproceededtoblows,andthatinallprobabilityIshouldhavekilledoneofthematleast,haditnothappenedfortunatelyforhim,thatahogrushedfuriouslyoutofaninclosurenearthespot,whichrunningagainstmehadthrownmeintothemud;andthatwhenIsprangupagaintorenewtheengagement,myenemieshadtaken to their heels in the most cowardly manner. His Excellency wascompletelydupedby thisbragging recital.But though for thateveninghewasimposed upon, the very nextmorning he learnt thewhole truth, and at dinnertimeIdidnotfailtohearofit.Hebanteredmeprettyseverelyonmyencounterwiththefootmen,andhonoredmewiththetitleof“TheKnightoftheHog.”Ishouldhavebeenthefirsttolaughathisjestsifwehadbeenbyourselves,butthe other servants were present, and of course highly delighted to see me sojeeredbymymaster,astheyauguredfromthatcircumstance,thatIshouldsooncease to be his favorite. Another circumstance still more vexatious occurredshortlyafter;oneoftheAmbassador’sfriends(whowasconsequentlyoneofmyenemies),waiteduponhim,tocommunicate,ashesaid,averyimportantaffair.Mymasterrequestedhimtoexplainhimself,whichhedidinthesewords,oratleastintermsofthesameimport:“ThewarminterestItakeineverythingthatconcernsyou,compelsmetoinformyouofareportwhichiscirculatedinRome,very much to your disadvantage. Guzman, whose conduct is really very bad,passesfortheagentofyourpleasures.Theadventureofthehogisbecomethegeneral topic of conversation, and scandal has gone so far as to assert thatGuzmanwasemployedintheexecutionofsomeloveembassywhenhebecamethesportofthepopulace.”

Itmaybe conceived that thesewordsmade averygreat impressionon themind of such aman as theAmbassador,who knew sowellwhat became the

dignityofhischaracterandthehonorofthePrincewhomherepresented.Fromthatmoment he resolved to get rid ofme; and though at that timehe tooknonotice of it, and behaved towards me as usual, I knew him too well, not toperceivethathedissembled,andwhatturnmyaffairswerelikelytotakeinthatquarter. The season of Lent, which now approached, furnished him with aplausiblepretext toput inpractice thedesignhehad formedof estrangingmemorefromhisperson.

Hesaid“thathewasresolvedtoquithiscourseofdissipationandlibertinism,andliveamoreregularlife.Iwillevenconfesstoyou,”addedhe,“thatIhaveabandoned my designs on Fabia. My reason is restored. I see the greatimproprietyIcommittedinattemptingtheseductionofthatlady;herhusbandisoneof the firstmen inRome,and I shallnevercease to reproachmyselfwithhavingmeditatedthedishonorofhiswife.”Hediscoursedwithmefrequentlyinthisstyle,andIpretendedtobelievehim.Ididmore,Iapplaudedhisresolution,and in my turn counterfeited the repentant sinner; telling him, that I wouldfollow his example. In fact, I altered my conduct, and made all kinds ofhypocritical grimaces, to induce the servants, and particularly my master, tothinkthatIhadabandonedloveintriguesforever.

CHAP.XXXII.

GuzmanresolvestoleaveRomeonaTourthroughItaly,withtheintentionofvisitingeverythingworthyofnoticeinthatCountry.

I SPENT nearly all my time inmy own room, where every day was passed inreading,andinreceivingafewvisitors.Oneday,theyoungSpaniardwhohadsogenerouslyprofferedhisservicesinthehogadventure,chancedtocallin,forthesolepurpose,ashesaid,ofinquiringaftermyhealth.YouwillreadilyimaginethatIdidnotfail toreceive, in themostcordialmanner,amantowhomIfeltmyself so much obliged. I repeated my most sincere thanks for his kindassistanceonthatoccasion,assuringhimthatIcouldnotexpresshowfrequentlyIhadregrettedthatmyignoranceofhisnameandabodehadpreventedanearlieracknowledgmentofhiskindness.Heansweredwithapparentmodesty,“thatanythanksweresuperfluous;thatbeingaSpaniardandamanofhonor,itwasbutaduty to afford every assistance in his power to rescue a gentleman of myappearancefromtheinsultsofthemob.”Nosoonerhadheinformedmehewasmycountryman,thanIaskedhiminwhatpartofSpainhewasborn.“Iam,”saidhe, “a native of Seville, and Sayavedra is my name.” Upon hearing this, Iredoubledmycivilities,asIknewittobeoneofthemostillustriousfamiliesinour city. His accent was certainly Andalusian, and I was not myself betteracquaintedwithSeville:thoughinfacthewasanativeofValencia,whichhehadhisreasonsforconcealing.Iofferedhimmyownservices,andthecreditofmymasteruponanyoccasionhemightrequire them.Hethankedmeformygoodwishes, and told me that he had a suit in the Ecclesiastical Court, which hehopedwouldterminatefavorably;butthatifthepersonswhoseinteresthereliedon,shouldnotbesuccessfulintheirexertions,hewouldcertainlyavailhimselfof my proffered mediation in his favor. As in the course of conversation Ihappened tomention that Imightgenerallybe foundathome,as Ivery rarelyleft thehouse,heinquiredthereason.IfranklyconfessedtohimthatIdidnotdaretoshewmyselfinthestreetssincetheaffairofthehog;andthatIwishedthecircumstance todieawayandbewhollyforgotten,before Iventuredmuchinto public. He very much approved of this, and offered to accompany mehimselfwithhisfriends,incaseanyunavoidableeventshouldobligemetogoout. I felt trulygrateful forsoobliginganoffer,andembracedhimwitheverytokenof friendship, andoverwhelmedhimwithacknowledgments;hewasnotbehindhandwithme inpoliteness, and thoughheverymuchapprovedofmy

reasonsforconfiningmyselfathome,heseemedtothinkthatImustleadaverytiresome life, and recommendedme to travel; hementionedVenice, Bologna,Pisa, and Florence, assuring me that I should find each of those places wellworthy of my inspection, and concluded by remarking that I could return toRomewheneverIthoughtproper,afterthedisagreeableaffairhadblownover.

IgaveSayavedratounderstandthatnothingcouldbemoretomytastethanwhatheproposed,andthatIshouldnothesitatetofollowhisadvice,providedIcouldgain the consent ofmymaster, as Iwished tobe ruledbyhim in everything.ThenthisimpofSatan,whowasbothAndalusianandValencian,andwhohadIdaresay(according tohisownaccountafterwards)beenanativeofhalfthecitiesofEurope,gavemesuchanengagingdescriptionofall theplaceshementioned,thatmyinclinationtovisitthemincreasedvehemently.Mythoughtsweresooccupiedwith thisscheme, that theensuingday,asIwasdressing theAmbassador,Ispoketohiminthesewords.“Idonotknow,myLord,ifyouwillapproveofadesignwhichIintendtoexecuteifIobtainyourpermission.Iwishtomake a tour of Italy, and indeed I think itwould not be amiss if Iwere toabsentmyselffromRomeforashortperiod.”HisExcellencycouldnotrepresshis joy in learning thesewords. “Guzman,” cried he, “I am charmedwith theschemebeyondmeasure:yes,myfriend,youwillactwiselytokeepoutofsightforafewmonths;itwillbeserviceabletobothofus.

“I am not ignorant of the reports which have been circulated to mydisadvantage,inconsequenceofyourlateadventure,whichhasinfactmadeusthe jestof thecity. Ihavebeenconfidentially informedof it. Inshortwemustseparate.Ihaveoftenwishedtotellyouso,butcouldneverresolvetoundertakeso disagreeable a task. Depend upon it, Guzman,” continued this excellentmaster, “you shall find yourself in a situation to travel in affluence to anycountryyoumaywishtovisit:youwillbetreatedasaservantwhomIesteem,andIpartwithyouwithsincereregret.”WhentheAmbassadorhadconcluded,Ireturnedhimathousandthanksforhisfavorableopinionofme,andforhiskindintentionstowardsme;andIhadnosoonerlefthisapartmentthanIdespatchedoneofthescullionsforthecarrierofSienna.Ihadalreadybeguntopackupmyclothes in three trunks which had served for my wardrobe, when Sayavedra,whomIalreadyreckonedamongthenumberofmyfriends,paidmeavisit.Heaffectedsomesurpriseatthesightofmyclothesandeffects,allspreadoutinmychamber,andmy trunksopenbeforeme.“Ah,SignorGuzman!”criedhe,“doyouthenintendtofollowmyadvice?”“Youhaveguessedright,”answeredI.“Ihave mentioned my intention to my master, who has given it his heartyconcurrence.Everythingisdecidedlyfixedupon.Ipurposeintwodaystimeto

quitRomeforSienna,whereIshallmakesomestayatthehouseofafriendofmine,amerchantof thenameofPompey.Iamnotpersonallyacquaintedwithhim,buthehasinhisletterstestifiedsomuchgratitudeforsomeservicesIhavehaditinmypowertorenderhiminthiscity,thatIhavenodoubtthathewillbedelighted with an opportunity of repeating his acknowledgments tome at hisownhouse.SothatIexpectmuchpleasure inmystayatSienna,whitherIamgoingtosendforwardmybaggageto-day,addressedtothecareofPompey,thatImaynotbeincumberedwithitduringmyjourney.”

IfSayavedrapaidallpossibleattentiontothisinformation,hecertainlypaidnolesstome,forwhileIwaspackingupmyclothesinthetrunks,hetookexactnoticewhere Iplaced thoseof thegreatestvalue,and thatheshouldsee that Iwas possessed of such pleasedmy foolish vanity and love of parade. A goldchain, some valuable jewels, and three hundred good pistoles, which I hadhoardedupduringmystayattheambassador’s,didnotescapehisobservation.Ihad wholly quitted the gaming table, and I had saved up with the utmostfrugalityeverypresentthathadbeenmademe.WouldtoHeaventhatIhadbeendestined to reap the fruitsofmy improvedbehaviour:but,alas! thathappinesswasreservedforthieves,andnotforme.Ifilledtheothertwoboxeswithwhatwasoflessvalue,andhavingcarefullylockedthem,leftthebunchofkeysuponatablethatstoodby.Wethencontinuedourconversation,untilalacqueycametoinformmethatIwaswantedbyapersonbelow.Myroomnotappearingtobeinafitstateforreceivingcompany,IbeggedmynewfriendtoexcusemeforafewminuteswhileIwaitedonthepersonwhowantedtospeaktome.Itwasthecarrier,whominthebustleIhadalmostforgottenhavingsentfor.ItoldhimonwhatdayIshouldsetout,andthatwemightagreeonthesumhewastochargefor the carriage of my baggage, I took him up stairs to shew him of what itconsisted.MeantimeSayavedrahaddonethedeed.Thisrascal,seeingthecoastclear,tooktheimpressionofmykeysonsomewax,which,Isuppose,waspartoftheammunitionhealwayscarriedaboutwithhim,andseeingaletterlyingby,whichheknewIhadjustreceivedfromPompey,heimpressedthatalsointohisservice. I shewedmy trunks to the carrier, who lifted them up, that hemightjudgeoftheirweight.IgavehimwhatheaskedfortheirconveyancetoSienna,and hewithdrew, saying that hewould return immediatelywith his people tohelphimawaywiththeboxes,andwouldsetoutwiththeminthreehourstime.Hehadnosoonerquitted thehouse than this friendlySpaniardoffered to takeleave of me, under a pretence that his visit retarded the preparations I wasmakingformyjourney.Itwastonopurposetoassurehimthathebynomeansincommoded me, nor even to press him to stay and take breakfast with me:

nothingcouldprevailuponhimtostay,ashewasupontherackofimpatiencetogoandorderthefalsekeys.“Atleastthen,mydearfriend,”saidI,“acquaintmewith your place of abode. I can by nomeans think of quittingRomewithoutreturning your visit.” He replied that he would rather dispense with thatceremony,andgaveme tounderstandwithaverymysteriousair, thathe livedprivatelywithalady,andforreasons,whichasamanofhonorhemustconceal,hewas under the necessity of debarring himself the pleasure of receiving thevisitsofhisfriends.AsafterhearingthisIcouldurgehimnolonger,Isufferedthisfavoriteoftheladiestodepart,who,nodoubt,hastenedwithallspeedtohiscompanions, toconsultonthemeasurestheyshouldadopttogetpossessionofmytrunks.Hewasinleaguewithfourrogues,whohadfortheirleaderafamousandnotoriousthief,calledAlexanderBentivoglio:hegenerallyconductedtheirenterprises, and assigned to each the part hewas to play, sustaining the chiefcharacterhimself.ButonthisoccasionheyieldedthathonortoSayavedra,who,being a Spaniard, appeared to him the most proper person to represent aCastilian.As theywerewellprovidedwithdisguisesofallkinds, theydressedthemselves in character, and set off the next morning for Sienna, which theyreachedonthefollowingday.Sayavedra,followedbytwooftheothersdressedin livery, put up at the best hotel in the town, and gave himself out as thegentleman inwaiting to the SpanishAmbassador.As forAlexander,whowaswell known for a rogue throughout Italy, hedidnot dare toplay thepart of athirdlacquey;butthoughtpropertolodgeelsewherewiththefourthcavalierofhis company.Sayavedra, puttingon a lofty air, desired to be conducted to thebest apartment in thehotel, andhaving takenpossessionof it, sent oneof thepeople to informSignorPompey that his friendDonGuzmanhad just arrivedpost from Rome, but was so fatigued with his journey, that he begged to beexcused waiting on him at present. Pompey, delighted at the arrival of DonGuzman,hastenedtopayhisdevoirstoamantowhomhewasundersomuchobligation.Hefliestothehotel,andisshewnintoafinechamber,whereheseesa cavalier reposing himself upon a couch,who, seeing him approach, runs tomeethimwithopenarms.“Ah,SignorPompey,”crieshe,“IflattermyselfthatyouwillpardonthelibertyItookinsendingmybaggagetoyourhouse.”“Icanreadily excuse that,” replied Pompey, with a smile, “but I shall not so soonforgive your coming to this place in preference to my house.” “You areextremelypolite,” replied the falseDonGuzman, “but, uponmyhonor, ridingposthasfatiguedmesomuch,thatIcouldnotthinkofbeingsotroublesome.”“For that very reason,” replied the merchant, “you would have been morecomfortable at my house.” “Another reason too,” continued Sayavedra,“opposed thedesire Ihad to alight atyourdoor; I ammerelypassing through

Sienna.To-morrowIsetout forFlorenceby theorderofmydearmaster,whohasgivenmesomecommissionstoexecuteinthatplace;wherefore,Ithoughtitbestnottogiveyouthetroubleofreceivingmeforsoshortavisit;but,tomakeamends,” added he, with a gracious smile, “I will return in a few days, andpromisemyselfthepleasureofmakingsomestaywithyou.”

Pompeydidnotletslipthisopportunityofpressinghimtotakeasupperandbedathishouse,thoughbutforasinglenight,buthedeclineditwithsomuchearnestness that the merchant, fearful of offending him, dropped the subject;afterwhichhepreparedtotakehisleave,assuringhimthathewouldnotfailtoreturn in themorning to see him again before his departure, and wish him apleasant journey.Upon this,Sayavedra cried aloud tooneofhisvalets, “here,Gradelin, take thesekeys; theybelong tomy trunks.SignorPompeywillhavethegoodnesstoallowmetosendtohishousefortheclothesandlinenwhichIshall want during the next eight days. Don’t forget,” added he, “to bring thedressing-gown,whichyouwillfindinthelargestbox.”“Woulditnotbebetter,”interruptedPompey,runninginconsideratelyintothesnare,“toletthetrunksbebroughtheretoyou,whenyoucantakeoutwhatyouwantatyourleisure.”“Youarequiteright,”saidthefalseGuzman,“IwillmakeupaparcelofthosethingsIshall absolutelywant, and put them into the smallest trunk,which I can carrywithmetoFlorence,andIwillsendbacktheothertwo,whichIshallbemuchobligedbyyourtakingcareoftillmyreturn.”

Themerchant thenquitted thehotel, andhalf anhour aftermydear trunkswere carried thither by the companions of Sayavedra and one of the grooms,accompanied by a person who presented to the false Guzman a present fromPompey,consistingofabasketoffinefruit,andhalfadozenbottlesofexcellentwine. Sayavedra received this present with all the politeness imaginable, anddismissedthebearerwithasmallgratuityforhimself,andathousandthanksforhismaster.

NosoonerwerethetrunksconveyedtothehotelthanAlexanderBentivoglio,whohadalreadylearntthesuccessofthescheme,hastenedtothespot.Thefalsekeys they had obtained opened two of them, and they picked the lock of thethird,whichcontainedmymoneyandjewels,whichtheydividedamongthem,or,tospeakmorecorrectly,whichSignorAlexanderappropriatedtohimself:forhewasabullywhoawedtherestofthegang,sothathegavethemjustsuchashareof theplunderashechose topartwith.All that theyreceivedwas thirtypistoleseach,andtheleastvaluableclothes.Afterwhich,hefilledthesmallesttrunkwithwhat remained for his share, and had the other two crammedwithstrawandstones.Then,thatnotimemightbelost,hedespatchedoneoftheband

tohire post horses to start bybreakof day forFlorence.This accommodationwas easily procured by these worthy gentlemen, who, when they paid theinnkeeper, ordered him to send back to Signor Pompey the two trunkswhichtheyleftatthehotel.

While this finegamewasplayingatSienna, IwasemployedverybusilyatRomeinbiddingfarewell tomyreal friends,without theslightestsuspicionofthis trick.Nothingnowremainingbut tobidadieu tomymaster, Ientered theroomwithasorrowfulcountenance;andafterhavingassuredhim,thatIshouldneverforgethiskindnesstowardsme,I threwmyselfathisfeetandkissedhishand, which I bathed withmy tears. He was as much affected as I was, andtestifiedextremeregretatpartingwithme.

This excellent nobleman exhorted me to a virtuous course of life, in asearnestandpaternalamanneras ifhehadbeenspeaking tohisownchild.Heevenembracedme,andthrowingroundmyneckagoldchainwhichheusuallywore, he toldme, “that he gave it tome as amemorial of his affection.”Headdedtothisproofofhisfriendshipapurseoffiftypistoles,andoneofthebesthorsesinhisstables.Alltheservantsfollowedhisexample,inexpressingtheirunwillingnesstopartwithme:intruthIhadneverdonethemanyillofficeswithmymaster,buthadoften rendered themservices; so that therewasnotoneofthemwhohad just reason tocomplainofme. Iwillnotpassover in silenceastrange event which took place in Rome the day previous to my departure,thoughithasnorelationtomyownadventures.

The Ambassador had just finished supper, when a Neapolitan gentlemancamein,whooftenvisitedatthepalace:heappearedconsiderablyagitated.“MyLord,” said he to his Excellency, “I am going to relate to you a mostextraordinarytragedy;Ihavejustheardit,andyoumayperceivetheeffectithashaduponme.”“Iamveryimpatienttobeacquaintedwithit,”saidmymaster.Ithen placed a chair for theNeapolitan gentleman,who having seated himself,beganasfollows.

CHAP.XXXIII.

ThelovesofDoridoandClorinia;ortheSever’dHand.

ACAVALIERofthiscity,calledDorido,ayoungmanofanillustriousfamily,anengagingpersonandgreatbravery,fellinlovewithayoungladyofthename,ofClorinia,whowas about seventeenyearsold, virtuous, beautiful, andof equalrank.Therelationsofthischarminggirlbroughtherupwithsomuchcare,thattheywouldnotallowhertomakeanyconnectionbywhichhervirtuemightbeat all endangered. Shewas hardly ever suffered even to approach her latticedwindow,lestsomemisfortuneshouldbetheconsequence,asnoonecouldgazeuponherextremebeautywith impunity:eitherherfatherorhermother,orherbrotherValerio,attendedhereverywhere,andwatchedhereveryaction.Somemonths ago, Dorido having accidentally obtained a sight of her, becameviolently enamoured: but could declare his love by no other means than bycasting empassioned glances towards the window of her chamber when shehappenedtobethere,ashepassedbythehouse.Ifthehomageofhiseyeswasnotalwaysremarkedbytheobjectofit,atleastitwassometimesnoticed;atallevents,itwaspractisedoftenenoughtoproducethewishedforeffect.

CloriniaatfirstwassatisfiedwithlookingattheCavalierwithoutbeingseen;butsoonshefeltawish thatheshouldseeheralso,withoutknowingwhyshewished it, and answering by little and little to his amorous looks, she at lastconceivedapassioninthesamewayinwhichshehadinspiredit,—Imeanbyappearing at her lattice.Dorido soon guessed that he hadmade on her all theimpression he desired, and since hewas deniedmore, indulgedhimself in thetransportsofbelievinghimselfbeloved.Nevertheless,hesoughttoreapamoresolidsatisfactionfromhisconquest.HecontrivedtoformanacquaintancewithValerio,andsucceededsowellastoattachhiminsuchadegree,thattheywereinseparable.Valerio could no longer livewithout his friendDorido; theywerealways together, sometimes at one house, sometimes at another. This gaveDoridoanopportunityof sometimes seeinghis charmer, andeven speaking toher,butneveralone.Theeyesof the loversalonecommunicated toeachotherthe secrets of their hearts.This state of affairs, however, did not last for ever.CloriniamadehermaidScintilatheconfidanteofherpassion;thisoldwoman,whohadwit,andwishedtoservehermistress,calleduponDorido,andhavingmetwithhim:“nobleCavalier,”saidshe,“youneednotattempttodisguisethetruthfromme,Iknowthestateofyourheart.YouloveClorinia,andIammuch

mistakenifyourloveisnotreturned.Youarebothdyingwithimpatienceforaninterview, and I cannot see your situationwithout pity; I shall never rest till Ihave procured you the satisfaction you both so ardently desire.” The lover,transported with joy at these words, thanked the Duenna for her good will,assuring her that she should not find him ungrateful if she succeeded. Thenmaking use of so excellent an opportunity, he wrote a very passionate billet,which he conjured her to convey to the amiable sister of Valerio. Scintilareturnedimmediatelytohermistress,toacquaintherwiththestepshehadtaken,andpresentedherwithDorido’sletter.Cloriniablamedherfortakingchargeofit—butsoonforgaveher:andnothingwasnowthoughtofbuthowtomanagethe interview with the lovers. The lady raised so many difficulties, that shewould have relinquished it altogether, if the old woman, who was moreingenious,hadnothituponaplantheybothapprovedof.Scintila’sbedchamberwasonthegroundfloor;andadjoiningtoherroomtherewasanother,whichwasfilled with old and useless furniture: this room was lighted only by a smallwindowdefendedbytwostrongbarsofiron,throughwhichtherewasonlyroomsufficientforahandtopass.Thiswindow,whichwasaboutfiveorsixfeetfromthe ground, looked into a lane or blind alley quite uninhabited; and the placeappearedexactlysuitedtolovers,whoweresatisfiedtolimittheirhappinesstoconversation only. The old woman, as soon as she saw her young mistressdisposedtospeakwithDoridothroughthislittlewindow,hastenedtoinformtheCavalier, who on the ensuing night at eleven o’clock placed himself at aconvenientspot.Heapproachedthebars,wherehefoundScintilaexpectinghim;whorequestedhimtowaitpatientlyuntiltheservantsweregonetobed.Hedidnot languish long in suspense: the wished for moment soon arrived. Cloriniacame trembling to the window, at which her lover presented himself inspeechless agitation. As they both now loved for the first time, they wereagitated at the sight of each other, and the excess of their feelings at firstpreventedthemfromspeaking;but lovehasmorethanonelanguage.Theladypassedoneofherbeautifulhandsbetweenthebarsofthewindow,andtheloverclaspingitwithardor,covereditwithathousandkisses.Atlast,bydegrees,theybroke silence, and indulged in passionate protestations of eternal love. Theirsoulsweresoentirelyoccupiedby thepleasureof seeingeachother, that theywouldhave suffereddaylight to find them together, if the oldwomanhadnotinterruptedtheirconversationtowarnthemthatitwastimetoseparate.Beforehewould retire,Dorido entreated hismistress to allow him to return the nextnightat thesamehour to thewindow,and the ladycouldnot resolve torefusehimthisfavour.At last theyseparated,equallydelightedwiththeconversationthey had just had with each other, and filled with impatience for another

interview.Doridoespeciallywas toomuchagitated tobeable to takeanyrest,or,tospeakmorecorrectly,hewasmiserableuntilthetimeofhisreturntothewindow.Youmay easily suppose he did not fail to be punctual; hismistress,finding no obstacle to her design, appeared again at the same place, and theirmeetingwas the second time less embarrassed by timidity than the first. TheCavalier,whohadagreatdealofwit,saidathousandfinethingstohismistress,who replied to them in as lively amanner. This conversation lasted for threehours, and their discourse was mingled with innocent caresses; so that thesecond interviewpleased themboth asmuch as the first.TheprudentScintilawasagainobligedtoseparatethem.Againandagaintheyaccusedherofcruelty,notreflecting,thatthoughshedisturbedtheirpleasures,itwasonlywithaviewto render themmore lasting; for, in fact, they continued to enjoy their stoleninterviewswith somuch secrecyandgoodmanagement, thatnot a soul livingknewofthembuttheoldwomanandoneotherperson.

Thisotherpersonwasayoungmanofrank,namedHoratio,anativeofthiscity.Healso lovedClorinia, havingbychance seenher ather lattice, andhadrevealed his love to her by signs, but finding them very badly received, heconcludedthathehadarivalwhowasmorehappy,andjudgedthatrival tobeDorido,ashewasunited insostricta friendshipwithValerio.Toclearuphiswell foundedsuspicions,hesoughtoutDorido,whowasoneofhis friends, towhomhespokeinthesewords,“MydearDorido,Iamcometoaskafavourofyou,andIconjureyounottorefuseme;myhappinessdependsuponit.Youarecontinually with Valerio; you very often visit at his house, and I cannot helpthinkingthatyouareinlovewithhissister:ifIammistakeninmyconjectures,obligemebydeclaringit.Youaretoowelldeservingtheheartofthatlady,formetodisputeitwithyou.”“YouloveCloriniathen,”exclaimedDorido,alittleruffled; “I confess that I am quite charmed with her,” replied Horatio, “butnevertheless I do you justice, and agree that you deserve better than I, thehappinessofbeingherhusband.”—“Letus speakwithout flattery,” interruptedDorido. “I should doubtless considermyself highly honoured in becoming thehusbandofClorinia;butIfranklyconfesstoyou,thatIhavenodesigntomarryher.”“Isitpossible,”criedHoratio,eagerly,“thatyoudonotmeantomarryher?ah!myfriend,howdifferentaremyintentionsfromyours.Myhighestambitionistounitemyfatewithhers;yourviewsshouldyieldtomine:sacrificethemadhopes you have conceived. I expect this effort from your friendship and yourvirtue.”“Youmightadd,”saidDorido,“thatIoweit to thefamilyofClorinia;yes,” continued he, “Iwill leave the field open to you; and ifValerio’s sistershouldacceptyouraddressesandconsenttogiveyouherhand,Iwillceasetobe

yourrival.Iwilldomore,Iwillspeakinyourfavour,andIassureyouthat inthatcaseitshallnotbemyfaultifyourwishesbenotfulfilled.”Horatiowassowellsatisfiedwiththisspeech,thathetestifiedhisgratitudetoDorido,withoutthinking that his promisewas only conditional, and therefore that he ought tomistrustit.Hemadenoreflectionofthiskind,butevenrequestedDoridotousehisgoodofficesinhisbehalfwithClorinia.DoridocouldnotbutbetouchedatthefranknessofHoratio;andbeinggenerousenoughtopreferthehappinessofhisfriendtohisowninclinations,ashisviewswerepurer,heresolvedtodoallinhispowertoweanhisaffectionsfromthislady.Infacttheverynexttimehesawher,headdressedher thus:“Youarenot ignorant,Madam, thatHoratio isaddedto thenumberofyourslaves,butIamdoubtfulwhetheryouknowhowtrulyheadoresyou.Learn then thathe thinksonlyofyou,and that to receiveyour hand is the only wish of his heart.” “I am charmed to hear it,” repliedClorinia;“myreceptionofhimshallconvinceyouhowlittleIwishforanyotherloverbutDorido.”“Iwellknow,”repliedtheCavalier,“thevalueofpreferencesogloriousforme,butIshouldthinkthatIabusedyourgoodness,ifIwasnotcapable of some self-denial; Horatio has many good qualities, and when youknowhimbetteryouwillnotbesorry,perhaps,ifyourfriendsshouldsecondhiswishes.”“How!”criedthelady,“tohearyouisenoughtomakemebelievethatyouwouldmakememiserable;isitpossiblethatyoucanwishmetoreplytothetendernessofHoratio?”“Never,”answeredDorido;“Ihavenosuch thought: Ionlywished to convince you that if you feel any inclination forHoratio, andyourfriendsapproveofhisaddresses,myheartwouldinvainrebel;thatIwouldsacrificemyselftothehappinessofmyrival,toshewyouhowentirelydevotedIam to all your wishes.” “I fear,” replied she, “that the victim would be assubmissive as you represent him, and that your love for me is not quite sosincereasyouprofessittobe.“But,”continuedshe,“Idonotpretendtoputyoutothetrial.Doridoshallbemyfirstloverandmylast:uponthisassuranceyoumayrely:letHoratiopersevereasmuchashepleasesinhisloveforme,hewillneverbemore successful. Iwill confess toyou that Iwasacquaintedwithhispassion,whichI learntfromhisgesturesbeforemywindow,andhavebeensolittlepleasedbyit,thatIhaveconceivedadislikeforhim,whichalmostbordersonhatred.”

After these words, Dorido did not dare to mention Horatio again, as heperceivedveryplainlythatthetopicwasextremelydisagreeabletoClorinia.Hechanged the conversation for the rest of the time theywere together, and thenightwaspassedinmutualprotestationsofeternallove.OnthenextdayDoridoreceivedavisitfromHoratio.“Wellmyfriend,”saidthelatter,“haveyouseen

Clorinia,—didanything fall fromher lovely lipswhichcouldbe interpreted inmyfavour?”“Iamverysorry,”repliedtheother,“thatIcannotgiveyouaveryflatteringaccount; you have but little room to hope; I extolled yourmerit,—Ipointed out the splendor of the alliance,—I represented you asmuchmore inlovewithherthanperhapsyoureallyare,—butthecruelbeautysilencedmebydeclaringthatshecouldnotreplytoyourlove,andthatthesoftbondsofHymenshouldneveruniteherfatewithyours.”Atthesewords,Horatioturnedpaleandfell intoaprofound reverie,whileDorido sympathising inhisgrief likea truefriend,pointedouttohimthatheoughttorelinquishhispretensionsratherthanattempt to constrain the inclinations ofClorinia, and that therewere inRomemanyotherladiesequallyamiable,whowoulddomorejusticetohismerit.“Toconclude,mydearHoratio,”addedhe,“IamsureIhavegivenyounocausetobedissatisfiedwithme. Iwouldwillinglyhaveyielded the sisterofValerio toyou,providedshehadbeenatallinclinedtofavouryourpassion.Iwouldhavemadethissacrificetofriendship.Canyounowrefusetoabandonaconquestthatyouarebynomeanssuretogain?”Horatiothenbrokesilence,andrepliedtohisfriend: “Far from reproaching you, I must consider myself under a greatobligationtoyoufortheserviceyouhavefruitlesslyattemptedtorenderme,inpleadingmycause. I confess that it ismore reasonable that I should renouncemypretensions to a handwhich I amnot able to obtain, than that you shouldrelinquishaheartwhichyoualreadypossess—farewellmy friend, Iwill spareno pains to enable me to profit by your advice, and form an attachmentelsewhere.” He quitted Dorido as he concluded these words, and with an airwhichpersuadedhim,that,struckbytheforceofhisarguments,heintendedtoemploy his utmost endeavours to conquer his passion for a woman whoseingratitudeconvincedhimthathelovedhertoowell.Buthisintentionswerefardifferent.HelookeduponDoridoasa traitor.“Heisafalsefriend,”saidhe tohimself:“farfromsayinganythingtoCloriniainmyfavor,hehasonlyspokentomydisadvantage;however,bethatasitmay,Iamresolvedtopersevere;Iwillaskherinmarriagethroughmyfather,whowillbemorereadytoservemethanmy rivalwas.”ThusHoratio resolved to impart his passion to his father,whoapprovedofhischoice,andpromisedtointerposeinhisbehalf,undertakingtospeaktoClorinia’sfatheronthesubject;whichhedidsoonafterwards.Thetwooldmenhadalongconversationtogether;andtheresultwasthatamarriagewasagreed upon, provided that the lady should show no repugnance to it; as herfatherwasresolvednottoconstrainherinclinations.Butassoonasamarriagewith Horatio was proposed to her, she testified so much aversion for thatgentleman, that they lost all hopesofher everbeingmore favourably inclinedtowardshim,andeverythingwasconsequentlybrokenoff.Howpitiableisthe

situationofthatmanwhoselovetyrannizesoverhisreason!Horatio,seeingthathispassionwasdespised,andhisrivaltriumphant,feltallhislovechangedintohate:henowconsideredCloriniaonlyasanobjectofdetestation;andrefusingtolisten to the voice of reason, he desired nothing more ardently than anopportunity to avenge himself at once on the lady and her favored lover. Heemployedafaithfulservantofhisowntowatchthem,andhavingbythismeansdiscoveredthetimeandplaceoftheirnocturnalmeetings,heconceivedoneofthemostcruelandhorribledesignsthateverenteredintotheheartofman.OnenighthetookcaretobeinthelanebeforethearrivalofDorido,andapproachedthe gratedwindowwhere the sister ofValerio had alreadyplaced herself.Thedarknessofthenightcausedhertomistakehimfortheloversheexpected,andshe addressed him with so much kindness that Horatio became still moreirritated than ever. The traitor took care not to speak lest he should betrayhimself,butseizingwithhis lefthandoneof thehandsofClorinia,whichthatlady, in her mistake, had extended to him through the grating, he suddenlysevereditfromherarmwithaverysharpknifewhichheheldinhisrighthand:afterwhichhespeedilyretreatedfromthelane,highlydelightedwiththesuccessofhisscheme.Figuretoyourselfthedeplorablespectaclewhichpresenteditselfto therelationsofClorinia,when,attracted to thespotby thecriesofScintila,they rushed half undressed into the room where the unfortunate lady laystretched on the floor senseless, and weltering in her blood. But when theyperceivedthelossofherhand,theunfortunateparentsfaintedonthespot,anditwas not without difficulty that they were recalled to life by the exertions ofValerioandtheservants,whowerearousedbythenoise.

Thefatherandmotherbeingalittlerecovered,begantodoubtaswellastheirson,whether Cloriniawere not to blame in this lamentable affair. Thiswas amysterywhich Scintila could easily have elucidated, if she had not thought itmoreadvisabletodeferthisexplanationuntilamoreconvenientopportunity;sothattheynowthoughtonlyofsavingClorinia’slifeifpossible.Valerioinstantlywithdrewtohischamber,wherehedressedhimselfwithallexpedition,inorderthathemightgohimself,andbringaveryskilfulsurgeon,whowasafriendofhis;whilethefather,afterhehadenjoinedthestrictestsecrecytoallhisservantson the subject of this disastrous affair, endeavoured with their assistance tostaunch thebloodofhisdaughter,bywrappingup in linen thearmwhichhadbeensocruellymangled.

Valeriowassoonready;hewentoutandfirstofallhastenedintothelane,tosee if he could by the light of a lantern which he ordered a servant to carrybeforehim,discoverthelosthand:butHoratiohadcarrieditawaywithhim,andnothingwas tobe seenbeneath the littlewindowbuta trackofblood runningdownthewall.ThewretchedbrotherofCloriniafeltallhisgriefrenewedatthissight; but asheproceeded, hemet and recognisedDorido,whowashasteningtowards the lanewithall the feelingsofahappy lover.“Ah,myfriend!”criedValerio tohiminamournfulvoice,“whitherareyougoing?Isee thatyouareunacquainted with the tragic catastrophe that has just occurred. Oh wretchedClorinia!”“GraciousHeaven,”criedherunfortunatelover,“whatmisfortunedoyoudeplore,—whathashappened?”“Amisfortune,”answeredValerio,“whichourfamilyoughttoconcealfromallmankind;butIwillnothideanythingfromyou;Ioughteventoinformyouofitasafriendwhowillnotrefusetoassistmein discovering the assassin of my unhappy sister.” These last words piercedDorido’sheart;inafaintandtremblingvoiceheenquiredwhatwasthematter.Valerio told him in a fewwords, and requested him to accompany him to thesurgeon,butDoridorefused,saying tohim,withanairwhichshewedthefurythatbegantoanimatehim;“Nono,Valerio,Ishallemploymytimebetter;thereis no occasion to engage ourselves both on the same errand,when there is somuchmoretobedone.Doyoualoneundertaketoconductthesurgeontoyourhouse,whileIseekfor thebarbarianwhocouldcommitacrimewhichnoonecanhearofwithout trembling. If Icandiscover thisperfidiouswretch, lethimexpectachastisementworthyofhistreason.Inaword,”addedhe,“leavemetorevengeyou;IfeelasacutelyasyouthemisfortuneofClorinia.”Uponthisthetwofriendsseparated.Doridoreturnedhomewards,vowingtolistenonlytohisanger in the revenge which he purposed to take upon Horatio; for he couldsuspectnoonebuthimofhavingcommittedthisaction.Assoonashearrivedat

home,heshuthimselfupinhischamberthathemightfreelylamentthelossofhismistress.“MydearClorinia,”criedhe,“myrival,enviousofyour love forme,hasdeceivedyouinthedarknessofthisfatalnight:youhavemistakenhimfor your Dorido; I am then the unhappy cause of the misfortune which hashappenedtoyou.Wereitnotforme,youstillwouldhavebeenlivinginperfectpeacewithyourfather.ItisIwhohaveassassinatedyou;butyourdeathshallbutlittleprecedemyown.NosoonershallIhavesacrificedHoratiotoyourashes,thanIalsowilljoinyouineternaldarkness.OhthatitwerepermittedtotheetoseeandrejoiceinthejustvengeancewhichIwillinflictonthewretchwhohasdaredtodeprivetheeofthyinnocenthand!”

ThusdidDoridobewailhismistress’sfateuntilday-break,whenherepairedtoherhouse,whereeveryonewasinthegreatestdistressandagitation.Valerioand his father seemed to be doubly afflicted at the sight of him, and theyembracedeachotheralmostdrownedintears.“OhDorido,myson,”saidtheoldman, “mydaughter is at the point of death, having lost so great a quantity ofbloodasalonewouldbesufficienttoterminateherexistence.Wasthereeversounfortunateafather?Whocanhavebeencapableofcommittingsohorribleanact? What punishment can console us under our present affliction?” “Sir,”answeredDorido,“suspendweourlamentationsforawhile,andletusthinkofone thingonlywhichconcernsusall.Theauthorof thismiserymustperish; Iwill inflictonhimanadequatepunishment.Butbefore Iexecutea revengeonhimwhichshallastonishandhorrifyposterity,ImustmakemyselfwhatInowam not. Receive me, therefore, for your son-in-law; it will be more for thehonourofusallthatitshouldbesaidthatCloriniawasavengedbyherhusband,thanbyherfather’sfriend.”

BothfatherandsonacceptedDorido’sproposalmostwillingly.Infact,itwasvery honourable towards them, and very necessary to prevent thedisadvantageous reportswhichmightbecirculated respecting theirmisfortune.Theoldmanwenthimself toacquaintCloriniawith it,who,debilitatedasshewas fromherextreme illness, shed tearsof joy,andexclaimed,with transport,that“wereshebutthewifeofDorido,shecoulddiecontented.”Sherequestedtobeallowedtospeaktohim;andasshehadthenbutlittlefever,itwasconsideredthatthisconsolationmightbeallowedherwithoutdanger;butnosoonerdidheappearatherbed-side,thanshefaintedfromextremejoy.Shewassoonrestoredtohersenses;butthesurgeon,fearfulofarelapse,wouldnotpermittheloverstoconverse together. They were obliged, therefore, to express their thoughts bylooksinsteadofwords.Dorido,findingthathispresenceseemedtoconsoletheinvalid,wouldnot leaveher thewholeof theday. In the evening apriest and

notaryarrived,andthemarriagewascelebratedbeforethreerelations,whohadbeensentforaswitnesses.

Cloriniawasmuchbetterthetwofollowingdays,andthesurgeonseemedtoentertainsomehopesofherlife;buthewasdeceived.Onthethirddaythefeverreturnedwithsuchincreasedviolence,thathepronouncedherdissolutiontobeathand.Dorido,nowgivingherupfordead,nolongerdelayedtheexecutionofhis vengeance.Hewent in search of Horatio to every place in which he waslikelytofindhim;andhavingmethim,hewasmostprofuseinhiscompliments,and,asthoughheknewnothingofwhathadhappened,invitedhimtosupathishouse. Horatio, who had committed this barbarous action in the most privatemanner,andwhoasyethadnotheardtheaffairwhisperedeitherintheCityorinClorinia’sneighbourhood,imaginedthatDoridocouldnotyethaveheardofit,and suspecting no ill design,went to supwith him as he had frequently donebefore. They both sat down to table, and began to eat and drink. Dorido hadcaused some lethargic drugs to be mixed with Horatio’s wine; so that thatgentleman soon fell into a sort of trance, during which Dorido and his twoservantsboundhishandsandfeet,andhavingslungaroperoundhisneck,withanotherropetheyboundhimtoapillarintheparlour,afterhavingcarefullyshuteverydoorinthehouse.Inthisconditiontheychafedhisnoseandtempleswithsomestrongspiritsandrestoredhimtohissenses.

When thewretchedHoratio found himself so extremely fast bound that hecouldnotstir,hesoonperceivedthedangerwhichthreatenedhim,and,hopingto soften his rival’s anger, he confessed his crime, and implored hismercy interms themost pathetic that his fear of death could inspire himwith.Uselesswerehisprayers!hehad toappeaseanenemywhowas inexorable,ahusbandwhobeheldhisdyingwifebeforehiseyes!Dorido,sofarfrombeingmovedbyhisentreaties,cutoffbothhishandshimself,andbadehisservants tostranglehim,orderingthemafterwards tocarryhiscorpseatmidnight to the topof thestreet, with his two hands tied to his neck. As for himself, not being able tosupportthelossofhiswife,heleftRomethismorning.Itisnotknownwhitherhehasdirectedhissteps;andIamjustinformedthatCloriniadiedafewhoursafterhisdeparture.

TheNeapolitangentlemanhereconcludedhisstory,whichmuchaffectedtheAmbassador and his company, who deplored the lady’s untimely fate. TheypitiedDoridoalso;butallconcludedbyobservingthatintheconductofboththegentlementherewasmanifestedaspiritofvengeancewhichsavouredverylittleofChristianity.

CHAP.XXXIV.

GuzmanleavesRome,andarrivesathisfriendPompey’shouseatSienna,wherehehearsbadnews.

THE day subsequent to this sad catastrophe, whichwas the general subject ofconversation inRome, I tookmy leaveof that city,wellmounted, but poorer,alas! than I imagined. Assuming a consequential air, and anticipating muchpleasure, I proceeded towards Sienna, where I imagined my friend Pompeywould be most anxiously expecting me. Having arrived there, I repairedstraightwaytohishouse.

He was at home, and received me in a civil manner, though not withoutevident embarrassment. “SignorPompey,” said I, embracinghim, “your friendGuzman can scarcely express his extreme joy at being at length introduced toyour personal acquaintance.”My very name seemed to astonish him. “How,”answered hewith surprise, “can you be thatGuzman towhom I amunder somany and such great obligations?” I was almost frozen by thesewords, for Iknew they could portend no good. “For what possible reason,” cried I withemotion,“canyoubesomuchastonishedatseeingme?”“Youwillsoonknowthat toyourcost,” replied themerchant.“Iseeplainly that Ihavebeenduped,andthatyouareinrealitythatGuzmand’AlfarachewhomIexpected.”

Thesewordswerelikeathunder-bolttome,andIinstantlyforesawthatsomeaccidenthadhappenedtomyproperty.Impatienttodiscoverthetruth,IintreatedPompeytoexplainhimselfmoreclearly.“Wellthen,”saidhe,“youmustknowthattherehaspassedthroughSiennaacavaliercallinghimselfgentlemantotheSpanishAmbassador,whocamehitherfromRome,followedbytwoservants,onhis road to Florence with despatches from his master. This spark introducedhimselftomeastheGuzmand’Alfarachewhohadbeenofsomuchservicetomeinmylatelaw-suit,andhehadinhispossessionthekeysofyourtrunks.”Ithought I shouldhave fallen into convulsions evenat thesewords,but amorecircumstantial detail of the whole adventure drove me almost to madness. Irequestedtobeallowedtoinspectmytrunks.Heconductedmeimmediatelytothechamberpreparedformyreception,andpointingouttwolargeones,“Thereare the two that are left behind,” said he; “but even these have been in theirpoweraswellasthethird.”IsighedbitterlywhenIrecollectedthatmygoldandjewels were in the one that was missing. I failed not, however, to open theothers, and shouldhavebeen somewhat appeased if the thieves, satisfiedwith

havingmymoney, had notmeddledwithmy clothes; but no such consolationwasinstoreforme.

InjusticetoPompey,Imustacknowledgethathewasnotlessafflictedthanmyselfwhen I informed him that I had been robbed of two thousand crowns.Afterall,however,hisafflictionmayhavebeenprincipallycausedby the fearthat I should hold him accountable for the loss of my property, whatever hemightbeable tourge inhisown justification.So far from thinkingofmakinghimuneasyonthispoint,however,I triedall inmypowertoconceal thegriefwhichconsumedme. It appeared tome that amanwhowished to assume thecarriage of a gentleman ought not to shew much vexation at the loss of hisclothes. Nevertheless, I was really half distracted, and Heaven knows I hadreasonenough,notbeinginpossessionofanothercoatexcepttheoneIhadon,noranylinenbuttwoshirtsinmyportmanteau.

InvaindidI rackmybrainwithconjecturesas towhocouldbe thepersonwhohadtakentheimpressionofmykeys.Iknewnotwhomtosuspect.AsforSayavedra, I esteemed him too sincerely to entertain the slightest mistrust ofhim. It was not Pompey’s fault, however, if I was so long in discovering thethief; for as, in his relation of this affair, he described the person of the falseGuzman, he gaveme an exact portrait of Sayavedra; the figure, the hair, thevoice, and themanners,were all his. Soprejudicedwas I in his favour, that Ishould have thought it quite a crime to have suspected himon account of theresemblance.Iwillsaymore:thoughIrememberedthatIhadlefthimaloneinmychamberwhenthecarrierofSiennacameto lookatmyboxes,myrespectforSayavedrawasproofagainsttherecollectionofeventhiscircumstance.

Whilemyhostand Iweremakingveryuseless reflectionsuponmy loss, aservantcame to tellus that supperwas ready.Weaccordinglywentdown intothe parlour, and sat down to table with gloomy faces, and without muchinclination toeat.Pompey,perceiving that thisvexatiousaffairhadcompletelytaken awaymyappetite, said tome, “SignorGuzman, yourproperty is not soentirely lost as to render its recovery quite hopeless. I have not been idle; theBargello[A],who isa friendofmine,hasundertaken thepursuitof the thieves;and I assure you I place great reliance on his exertions. He will return thiseveningorto-morrow,andItrusthewillbethebearerofgoodnews.”“Ihopesotoo,” answered I; “but, between ourselves, I don’t think thatmuch confidenceought to be placed in persons of that kind: especially in an affair whererestitutionistobemade.”

[A] The Translator has not been able to meet with the word “Bargello” in either of the bestSpanishDictionaries; but presumes that itmust signify aMagistrate, or perhaps inferiorOfficer ofJustice.

Though the tablewascoveredwithwell-dresseddishesandexcellentwine,we were so little inclined to eat or drink, that supper was soon over. As Ipretendedtobeverymuchfatigued,myhostconductedmetomychamber,andsoon withdrew, to my great satisfaction, for I found his conversation verytiresome.Ispentpartofthenightinpacingmychamberabsorbedinmeditation:anddidnotretiretoresttillnearday-break;whenmymindwassooverwhelmedandfatiguedwiththedifferentthoughtsthatagitateditbyturns,thatatlastIfellasleep.Myslumbersweresoondisturbed;a loudnoiseon thestaircaseawokeme suddenly, and I heard several persons vociferating at the same time, “Thethiefistaken!thethiefistaken!”

Idrewback thebed-curtains, being scarcely able tobelievemyears, and Iwas going to rise, that Imight knowwhat to think of it; when in rushed themerchant’swholefamily,wife,children,andservants,allspeakingtogether,andrepeatingwhatIhadheardbefore:Irequestedthewifetoexplainthemeaningofall this.“Itmeans,” saidshe“that theBargello isexpected in thecourseofanhour,withoneofthethievesinhiscustody:hesentoneofhisattendantsforwardtogivePompeynoticeofit,whoisdressinghimselfthathemaywaituponyou.”My host was not slow in bringing this man before me, to whom I put somequestions,andhe informedme,“that the thiefwhowas takenwashewhohadsustainedthecharacterofGuzman.”

This news revivedme a little, and I began to flatter myself, that I shouldrecoveratleastapartofmyeffects,sincewehadapprehendedthethief.Pompeyalsoindulgedthesamehopes,andthewholefamilyevincedthegreatestjoyatthisfortunateevent.Igaveapistoletothemanwhohadriddenallthewayatfullgalloptobringmethenews;andhastenedtodressmyself,thatImightrecognizethescoundrelwhohadpersonatedme.Pompeyalsopreparedtoaccompanyme,thathemightspeaktothemagistratesinmyfavour.

Whilewewereconversingonthesubject,aservantcametoinformus,thatthe Bargello was at the door on horseback, and that his myrmidons wereconveyingthethieftoprison.ThemerchantsentarequesttotheProvostthathewouldalightandfavouruswithhiscompanyupstairs.

TheBargello,asgreatascoundrelaseverwasborn,marchedinwithanairoftriumph.Firstofallherelatedtoustheintrepidmannerinwhichhehadsecuredthe thief, and made me quite impatient by long digressions which did littlehonour to hismodesty. I interrupted his heroic recital, to inquirewhatwasofmost importance to me to know, namely, whether he could give me anyinformation respectingmymoney. “As for themoney,” saidhe,withanairofgreatnonchalance,“hehadabouthimbutfiveandtwentypistoles:whichisnot

muchtobewonderedat.Thoughheplayedthechiefcharacterinthepiece,heisnot at the head of the gang. That honour belongs to a certain AlexanderBentivoglio,ofwhomIhaveheardbuttoooften:andwhomayyetsomedayfallintomyclutches;however,”continuedhe,“consoleyourself:thescoundrelwhoisthecauseofyourmisfortuneisinourpower,andIpromiseyouthatheshallbehung.”Icouldscarcelyrepressmyrageatthisimpertinentdiscourse.Ifairlywished them all at the devil together. The Provost who talked to me in thatmanner,—hismanwhohad costme a pistole,—and themerchantwho, byhisimprudence,hadplacedmeinthisembarrassingsituation.Ibegantobeangryingoodearnest.TheBargelloperceivingthatsofarfromthinkingofrewardinghimashe expected, Iwashighlydissatisfied, tookhis leaveverymuchdispleasedwithmyLordship;andtellingPompeythatifhehadknownthatIshouldhavereceived his services so ungratefully, he should not have taken much troubleabouttheaffair.

As soon as he was gone, Pompey called for his cloak, and expressed anintimationofgoingtosolicitthejudges.Asforme,Ihadagreatcuriositytoseethe thiefwhowas in prison, and having repaired thither, itwaswith no smallastonishment that I recognized Sayavedra; though he had been accuratelydescribedtome.Hethrewhimselfatmyfeetthemomenthesawme.Hewasaspale as death, and earnestly beggedme to pardon him. “My dear SignorDonGuzman,” cried he, drowned in tears, “have pity on a wretch who sincerelyrepentshavingbetrayedyou.”Hewasgoingoninthisstrain,forhehadpreparedalongharanguetoexcitemypity;butIdidnotallowhimtimetosaymore.Iloadedhimwith reproaches;butevenwhile I thus reviledhimI feltmyangergrowingweaker everymoment.All the feelings of indignationwhich agitatedme gaveway insensibly to emotions of pity, which I should have beenweakenoughtohavesufferedhimtoperceive,hadInothastenedfromthepresenceofa traitor, who would at least have been condemned to the galleys, if theadministratorsofjusticeinSiennahadactedwithalittlewholesomeseverity.

The judges of that period however, as you will soon perceive, acted as athousandothers havedonebefore them, and ten thousand since.Thenext daythey sent to me one of their clerks to propose that I should bind myself toprosecutetheprisoner.IansweredthatIshouldbeveryreadytodoit,providedthattheywouldengagethatmylostpropertyshouldberestoredtome;butthatotherwiseIwouldnot:thatIdidnotwishforthedeathoftheoffender,andthathanging him would not at all replenish my purse; in short that I wished fornothingbutmymoneyandmyclothes,andthatIhadgivenupallhopesofthem,sincetheywereintoogoodhandsformetohaveanychanceofregainingthem.

TheclerkhadnosoonerreportedtothejudgeswhatIsaid,thanconsideringthattherewasnomorespoiltobegleanedfromthisaffair,exceptthepistoleswhichtheyhad taken from the thief theyhad secured, they satisfied themselveswithcondemninghimtothepilloryfortwoorthreehours,andperpetualbanishmentfrom Sienna. These upright magistrates urged in defence of so mild apunishment,thatastheculprithadnomarksofbrandingonhisshoulders,itwasaproofthathehadneverbeenguiltybefore,andthatconsequentlyhedeservedsomeindulgence.Aprettyreasonthisforsufferingaprofessedthieftoescape!Andisitnotamostjudiciousarrangementtobanishhimfromthecountrywherehehadrobbed?Itwasasiftheyhadsaidtohim,“Gofriend,androbelsewhere.”

I did not yet know what punishment the judges intended to impose onSayavedra, and IwasatdinnerwithPompey,whenonehis servants,whohadheard the sentence pronounced, rushed into the room quite out of breath, andcried out with as much apparent satisfaction, as if he had announced therestoration of my property: “Huzza! Signor Don Guzman, the thief who hasrobbedyou,iscondemnedtothePilloryandtheironcollar,andheisjustnowgoingtobefastenedintoit.Itwillbeyourownfault ifyoudonotwitnesshispunishment.”Iregrettedatthismomentthatthisfoolwasnotmyownservant,andthatIwasnotatlibertytoknockhisteethdownhisthroatforit;forifeverIwastemptedtostrikeaman,itwasuponthisoccasion.Iwasobligedhowevertoendurethismortification,aswellasthecoldtreatmentwhichIexperiencedfromthat timefrommyhost.Hechangedallatoncefromoneextremetotheother,and looked uponme only as a strangerwho incommoded him, andwhom hewishedtogetridof.

Is it possible! you will say.What the Pompey to whom you had been soserviceable, and who in his letters professed himself so sincerely obliged,—couldthisveryPompeyrepayyouwithingratitude?alasitwasbuttootrue.Heassumed all at once a cool and distant air, and gaveme to understand by hisbehaviour, that he desired my absence. This conduct was owing in a greatmeasure tomytellinghimthat Ishouldnot return toRomeforsometime.Heconcluded from this, that I shouldnot have it inmypower to render him anyfurtherservice,andinallprobability,asweshouldhavenocontinuedconnexionbetweenus,hewasquiteindifferentastowhetherIwasdissatisfiedwithhimornot. He evenwent so far as to askmewithout ceremonywhen I intended toproceedonmyjourney.IansweredhimthatIshouldsetoutthenextday;uponwhichhe repliedwithadistantair, thathewassorry topartwithmesosoon,thoughhenevermadetheslightestmotiontopressmetostayanylonger.Iwasnotalittlevexedtothinkofhavingtakensomuchpainstoobligeamanwhofelt

so little gratitude, that far from offeringme any assistance tomakeme someamendsforwhathehadcausedmetolose,hewassounfeelingastocounttheminuteswithimpatienceuntilIwasoutofhishouse.SothatthefirstthingIdidthenextmorningwas to take leaveofSignorPompey, and I took carebymymannertowardshim,tolethimseetheopinionIentertainedofhisconduct.

CHAP.XXXV.

SoonafterhisdeparturefromSienna,GuzmanmeetswithSayavedra,whomhetakesintohisservice,andcarrieswithhimtoFlorence.

I WAS so anxious to escape from Sienna, that clapping spurs to my horse, Idisappeared like lightning from the eyes of the ungrateful Pompey. Afterproceedingsomemiles, Iperceivedatadistanceamanonfoot,whoappearedexactlytoresemblemythiefSayavedra.Infactitwashe,who,inpursuanceofhis sentence of banishment, was hastening to quit the territory of Sienna, toexercisehistalentsinsomeotherplace.

I could not help feeling an emotion of pity, at the sight of this miserablewretch;andthinkinglessofhis treacherythanof the infiniteassistancehehadrenderedmeinthehogadventure,Icouldnotrefrainfromspeakingtohim.Healsohadrecognisedme,andwhenIcamenearhim,ranuptomebathedintears,and, clasping my knees, he entreated me a thousand times to pardon hisingratitudeandhisperfidy.Headded,thathewishedwithallhissoul,toexpiatehiscrime,tobemyslaveforlife;andthatifIwouldreceivehim,Imightrelyonhis oath, that hewould be themost faithful servant in theworld.After I hadreflectedonthisproposal,IthoughtIhadbetteracceptit.

Do you not blame me, friendly reader, for encumbering myself with anattendantwhosecharacterIwasawareof,andwhohadalreadyrobbedme,andwouldnot fail togivemeanotherspecimenofhisskill the firstopportunity?Iknowbymyownexperience,thatevilpropensitiesarenotsosoongotridof;butnowthatfrommyownpovertyIhadnothingtolose,honestydidnotappeartometobeanindispensablerequisiteinaservant.IntheprofessionthatIforesawIshouldsoonbeobligedtofollow,IshouldIknewhaveoccasionforavirtuoso,andSayavedrawasoneexactlyformypurpose.

Itookhim,therefore,intomyservice;andIhadasgoodreasonafterwardstocongratulate myself on having renewed my acquaintance with him, as I hadbefore to regret that I had ever knownhim.He soon convincedme,whenwearrived at the innwherewe intended to sleep, that I had actedmostwisely inattachinghimtome.Hewasalwayson thealert tocontribute ineveryway tomyconvenience,andIcouldnotsufficientlyadmiretheattentionwithwhichheendeavoured to anticipate my every desire. In short, his extreme zeal, goodunderstanding,andspirits,conspiredtoconsolemeconsiderablyforthelossofmygoods.Veryearlythenextmorningwesetoutagain,oneonhorsebackand

theotheronfoot,andproceededtoFlorence,whichIhadheardsohighlyspokenof. Praised, however, as it had been to me, the magnificence of its buildingsamazedmeexceedingly.Sayavedra,whoobservedmyastonishment,saidtomewithasmile,“itappearstome,thatyouaresomewhatagreeablysurprisedatthesight of this city.” “In truth, you have guessed rightly,” replied I, “I amcompletely charmed with it; I did not think there was another Rome in theworld.”“Andyet,”repliedhe,“youseenothingofitsbeautiestowhatmaybeseen. Some of the houses here, which might pass for as many palaces, areornamented within with some of the most beautiful works of architecture.Florencemaywithgreattruthbecalledtheeighthwonderoftheworld;since itistheflowerofflowers,andtheflowerofallItaly.”SayavedrathenrelatedtometheHistoryofFlorence,fromthetimeofthecivilwarsofCatiline.

MysquireSayavedra,whowaswellacquaintedwiththetown,fromhavinglived there some time, conducted me to one of the best inns, where he waspleased tomakeme pass for a Spanish gentleman, namedDonGuzman, andnephewtotheAmbassadorfromSpaintoRome.Withthegreatesteffronteryhecommunicatedmyqualitytothelandlordinconfidence.Beingwithoutbaggage,and having only one horse between us, seemed to belie his assertions; but tothrowsomethingliketheappearanceofprobabilityonhisstory,hesaidthatwehad been obliged to set out in great haste, and that we expected a servant tofollowus instantlywithour trunks.Although the innwas fullofgentlemenofthefirstimportance,Iwasshewnintooneofthebestrooms,thelandlordhavingbeen given to understand that I had come to Florence on an affair ofconsequence, and that I shouldprobablymake a long stay; this causedhim tobehaveinthemostrespectfulmannertome.

Thenextday, theprudentSayavedrawasofopinionthatweoughttobuyalarge chest, and give out that it contained ourmost valuable property, thoughintendingtofillitatourleisurewithwhateverfortunemightbepleasedtosendus.Iapprovedofhisidea,andchargedhimtomakethepurchaseimmediately.

ENDOFVOL.II.

London:PrintedbyJ.NicholsandSon,25,Parliament-street,Westminster.

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