SKETCH – The lady and the burglars

Lady – This is so much work for only one person! (Tired) I want to finish as fast as

possible. I am so tired! I’ve been working all day long (still scrubbing and a song begins

on the radio) Oh! I hate this song! (She changes stations and some noises are heard at

the door) Oh, my gosh! What’s that sound? (She takes a knife and approaches the door

to look through the peephole) Oh my god! Two burglars!!! What should I do? (She

takes the knife and a phone and hides in the closet)

B1 – At last! This door was impossible to

open!

B2 – You should thank me. If I hadn’t hit the

door you would have continued trying to open

it for a thousand years!

B1 – Shut up! We have work to do. Start

looking in that part of the room and I’ll look in

this part

(After a while)

B2 – Look! I’ve found what we were looking

for!

B1 – Oh, did you find the safe box?!

B2- (Confused) Er… no! I thought we were

looking for a doll…

[Lady - Oh my god! My daughter’s doll!!!]

B1 – It must be the washing machine. Now shut up and keep on looking for the safe

box. And leave that doll where you found it.

B2 – Ok, ok.

B2 – Wait, I think we should search in the main bedroom, the safe must be there. Let’s

go!

L – Oh my god! I have to call the police (She takes the phone, dials and waits)

P – Good morning, what can I do for you?

L – Please, help! Two burglars have entered my house! Please, help!

P – Oh, that’s terrible! You must keep calm, please. Now, tell me where you live.

L – I live on 84th

Lincoln Avenue. Please, come quickly!

P – Two partners are going over there right now so, please, hide and calm down.

L – Calm down? How can I calm down?

P – My partners will be there in two minutes.

(L hangs up the phone and turns to hide)

B1 – Where the hell is the safe box? (The burglar looks at the wardrobe)

B2 – Have you looked in this wardrobe?

B1 – No, that was your job

B2 – No, it was yours

B1 – (Angry) It was yours!

B2 – (Really annoyed) Yours!

B1 – Yours

B2 – I’ve said it was your job!!!

B1 – Well, let’s see if the safe box is in here, then…

(The burglar opens the wardrobe and they find J inside so everyone starts screaming)

What the hell are you doing in this wardrobe?

B2 – (Confused) I think that she isn’t the safe box

B1 – (Jokingly) Oh really? Do you think so?

L – Get out of my house or…or…or… I will kill you!

B1 – Who do you think you are? We are the most famous burglars in the country.

What are you going to do? (With despise) You are only a housewife

L – I’ve said go away!

B2 – Guys! Relax! If you tell us where your jewellery is, we won’t disturb you any more.

L – (Starts laughing) Jewellery? I don’t have any jewellery, I’m a poor woman, can’t you

see?

B1 – Wait, this is 85th

Lincoln Avenue, right?

L – No, this is 84th

, 85th

is the big mansion across the road, you silly boys!

B2 – Oh sorry, we must have made a mistake with the GPS

B1 – Well, in that case, sorry for the inconvenience, lady. (Opens the door and starts

walking)

B2 – Bye lady (follows B1)

L – That was very awkward (she goes to the kitchen but hears a knock at the door) Oh

my god! They’re back (she opens the door) What have you forgotten…? Oh! At last!

The police!

P1 – Yes, lady, here we are, always on time!

L – Well, the burglars have just left so you’re a little bit late…

P2 – Wait, what do you mean the burglars have just left?

L – They made a mistake with the addresses. Funny, isn’t it?

P1 – (Laughing) Yes, kind of.

P2 – In that case, we are leaving too. Good night, lady.

P1 – Good night.

L – Bye! (She closes the door and takes a look at the kitchen) I will finish the washing-

up tomorrow!

THE END

Written and performed by Pablo D., Jimena and Pablo R.

February 2015

(4ESO - IES Piles)