The Jungle Drums - April 2009

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4/5 POLICE different colours...

7 CYCLING different colours...

9 ANDREA...rental contracts...

11 TONY MAYESlife in the UK...

17 CONFUSIONSa tea bag is a tea bag

17 NATUREfluffy things with feathers... 19 SANTA POLA... he’s off agin...

23 GRAN ALACANT...life on the hill..

24 LA MARINA... do you speak LMB...?

24/5 COMPUTERS... bluemoon...naked...

31 MOTORING IN SPAIN get it sorted...

34/5 SPORT...energetic stuff...

36/37 LIVING LIFE...feel better and smile... 39 HOROSCOPES... the only accurate ones in the world...... 40/1 PUZZLES... if you is smart try these fings...

42 WHAT’S ON...get up and out and busy...

43 LETTERS...you say what you think...

33 LA MARINA... urb news and events...

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and much much more

this month‘Weather

THE BIRDMAN OF ALTABIXNow, Brian Conduit, who most of you will know has

been writing the JD Nature page for the past five

years or so, is in hospital for a head transplant, or

something. We wish him the best and hope he’s

back to work soon as the rest of us know sod all

about wildlife. His (other) problem is that being a

birdwatcher, Brain can’t see many birds from his

window – the closest he’s got was when I dropped

my chicken nuggets and we had to get matron to

take his binoculars off him on that occasion. I even

offered to take up my washing to dry it outside his

window, as I can guarantee that within minutes of me

putting it out there, there’ll be hundreds of the little

b******s relieving themselves on it… but now I hear

he’s started people-watching which, surely must be

far more interesting. Especially as he now has more

foot traffic than Jordan’s hallway carpet. But, to make

an old man happy, if anyone can spare the time - and

feels comfortable dressed as the RoadRunner - it

would be much appreciated by Brian if you could

make a few passes of the window to room 305

in Elche hospital, and, by the way, he’s

also become the official outlet for

Jungle Drums in Elche hospital

so at least you know

where to get one…

cheep…

I was in a bar and watching the Spanish weather

forecast with a Spanish friend when he launched

into a (very) foul-mouthed tirade about Spanish

weather forecasters and how they always get

it wrong. He has a point. The Spanish weather

forecasts are not the best in the world and with

the guy (or girl) standing in front of half of Spain,

blocking it off to half the population, they don’t

really help themselves. ‘Look at it!’ he shouted

above the TV, the stereo, the clientele, and the

other telly, ‘they always say that every day is

gonna be da bloody same! In England they tell

you it is gonna rain at bloody half-past two,

and it does!’ I didn’t have the heart to remind

him that this is Spain and it usually is the same

weather, most of the time.

As it turned out, it is (apparently) Zapatero’s

and Franco’s combined fault that the weather

was wrong and the weatherman was ‘son of a

bitch’. Whether it turns out to be right or wrong,

you just feel better after a Spanish forecast

than you do a British one. Theirs leaves you

looking forward to a barbecue or the beach at the

weekend. Ours will tell us how long we can spend

outside before we catch some form of skin diease

or whether hay fever sufferers should even

bother getting up…

Avda. Escandinavia, Gran Alacant

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This country seems to have more variations

of coppers than the royal mint. Who are they?

What do they do? And why? Well, JD has been

investigating the investigators and come up with

some answers, and a little bit of their history, to

explain who it is that cruises the highways of this

rather nice piece of turf that we’ve decided to

help occupy.

The main enforcers of public order and security

as of 1988 were the Civil Guard and the National

Police Corps (Cuerpo Nacional de Policia). The

Civil Guard, fortified by nearly a century and

a half of tradition, was a highly disciplined

paramilitary body with close links to the army.

As it evolved, it served mainly as a rural police

to protect property and order and to reinforce

the authority of the central government.

Under Franco, a tripartite system of police was

formalized: the Civil Guard in rural areas; the

Armed and Traffic Police (renamed the National

Police in 1979), which fulfilled normal police

functions in communities with a population

of more than 20,000; and the Higher Police

Corps of plainclothes police with responsibility

for investigating crimes and political offenses.

Separate municipal police forces under the

control of local mayors were concerned mainly

with traffic control and with enforcement of local

ordinances.

So who are they?

THE BOYS IN BLUEFirstly they guys and gals that we see most

commonly in our neighbourhood and it is they

who deal with very minor things and with traffic

movement in towns.

The Local(or municipal) police are attached to

local town halls in towns with a population of

over 5,000. They wear blue uniforms with white-

chequered bands on their hats and sleeves,

and usually patrol in white or blue cars...and

they’ve got guns. These coppers will deal with

minor crime such as traffic control, protection of

property, civil disturbances and the enforcement

of municipal laws. In large cities, municipal police

often have multilingual offices and some towns

have mounted police. They’re the said to be the

most sympathetic Spanish police force...although

seeing them in jack boots, overalls and with a

sub-machine gun I think they can be anything

they want… In resort areas, the local police

sometimes speak English and during the summer

spend most of their time dealing with drunken

tourists. On-the-spot fines are imposed for a

range of offences.

THE BOYS IN GREENThe Civil Guard was founded in 1844 during the

reign of Queen Isabel II of Spain by the Basque

Navarrese aristocrat Francisco Javier Girón y

Ezpeleta, second Duke of Ahumada although

the first academy of “guardias civiles” was

established in the town of Valdemoro, south of

Madrid, in 1855.

The Guardia Civil’s first job was to restore and

maintain security in the Spanish countryside

because at the end of the First Carlist War the

Spanish landscape had been left scarred by the

destruction of civil war, so the government moved

fast to prevent the increasing danger of banditry

and rebellion in rural areas. Based on the

model of light infantry used by Napoleon in his

European campaigns, the Guardia Civil was born

as a police force with high mobility that could be

deployed irrespective of inhospitable conditions

and that was able to patrol large areas of the

countryside. Its members, called ‘guardias’,

maintain to this date a basic patrol unit formed

by two agents, usually called a “pareja” (a pair),

in which one of the ‘guardias’ will initiate the

intervention while the second ‘guardia’ serves as

a backup to the first one.

Today the Guardia Civil is still a police force

subject to the checks and supervision expected

in a democratic society. Morevoer, the guardias’

proven effectiveness throughout history, whether

in controlling banditry or in addressing the

subsequent challenges and tasks given them,

meant that additional tasks have been added

regularly to their job description.

The Civil Guard has been involved in work as

peacekeepers in United Nations sponsored

operations, including in Bosnia and Herzegovina,

Angola, Congo, Nicaragua, Haiti, East Timor

and El Salvador. They served with the Spanish

contingent in the war in Iraq, mainly in

intelligence gathering, and they lost seven

‘números’. In addition to el instituto armado (“the

armed institution”, the Guardia Civil is known

as la benemérita (“the good-deserving”). They

served in the Spanish colonies, including Cuba,

Puerto Rico, the Philippines and Morocco.

The Guardia Civil has a sister force in Costa Rica

also called the Guardia Civil. The Costa Rican

‘guardias’ often train at the same academy as

regular Spanish officers.

CharacteristicsThey typically patrol in pairs.

Their traditional hat is the tricornio, originally

a tricorne, which looks like someone has bent

an old LP and stuck it on their head – original

though…. Its use now is reserved to parades or

ceremonies, being now substituted by a cap, a

beret or the characteristic “gorra teresiana”[1].

Members of the Guardia Civil often live in

garrisons (casa-cuartel) with their families.

If you’re going to get nicked, you might as well know who by.

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Since the Guardia Civil must accommodate the

families of its “guardias”, it was the first police

force in Europe that accommodated a same-sex

partner in a military installation.

The symbol of the Guardia Civil consists of the

Royal Crown of Spain, a sword and a fasces. The

different units have variations of this symbol.

Today, they are primarily responsible for policing

and/or safety regarding the following (but not

limited to) areas and/or safety related issues

(given in no special order):

- highway patrol,

- counter drugs operations,

- anti-smuggling operations,

- customs and ports of entry control,

- safety of prisons and safeguarding of prisoners,

- weapons licenses and arms control,

- security of border areas,

- bomb squad and explosives,

- security in rural areas and in locations with less

than 10,000 inhabitants,

-anti-terrorism;

- coast guard,

- police deployments abroad (embassies);

- intelligence and counter-intelligence gathering,

cyber- and internet crime;

- hunting permits and

- environmental law enforcement.

A different issue is the heavy-handedness used

by the ‘guardias’. For a long time the Guardias

were feared because of their excesses, great

power and authority in rural areas, and for what

seemed to be a total lack of accountability for

their actions. The fact that they covered mostly

rural and isolated parts of the country allowed

for this lack of accountability. At the end of the

nineteenth century, the Guardia Civil conducted a

campaign against Andalusian anarchists (Spain),

accusing them of being members of the secret

society The Black Hand. For this reason the

‘guardias’ had a mythical (negative) reputation

in literature and in popular history. Some of

the poems of Federico García Lorca, especially

the world-famous Gypsy Ballads, portray the

‘guardias civiles’ as the natural enemies of

both gypsies and marginal figures including the

against anarchists that were popular in rural

areas of southern Spain. Lorca’s poems have

contributed to the Civil’s traditional reputation as

a heavy-handed police force.

THE OTHER BOYS IN BLUEThe national police replaced the despised armed

police (policía armada). The policía armada were

much hated and feared, but the national police

are now ‘quite popular’ as far as the old bill can

be anyway. They’re stationed in towns with a

population of over 20,000 and deal with serious

crime such as theft, rape and muggings, and are

also used to control demonstrations and crowds.

Other duties include guarding embassies, railway

stations, post offices and army barracks in

most towns and cities, when they’re armed with

submachine guns. The national police are housed

in a police station (comisaría de policía), many of

which have a foreigners (extranjeros) department

dealing with matters such as residence permits.

There are also plain clothes policemen (cuerpo

superior de policía) in urban areas.Where the

Guardia are, policia nacional will usually not be,

there is a strange law here that prevents them

being in the same place (we call it a restraining

order ‘round here…). Policia Nacional also deal

with immigrant paper work and the registration

of foerigners for things like the NIE or fiscal

number and residencia application paperwork

If you were mugged in Spain, you would report

it to either the Policia Local or the Guardia

and you would be asked to make a denouncia,

which translates to ‘report’ and you’d probably

(definitely if you want to get away before

midnight) need to take a tranaslator with you,

they are not provided as part of the normal

service.

Duties1. The issuing of identity documents - ID cards

and passports.

2. To control receipts and outgoings of the foreign

people and Spaniards.

3. Immigration law, refuge and asylum,

extradition and expulsion.

4. Gaming enforcement

5. Drug enforcement

6. Collaborattion with Interpol and Europol.

7. Control of private security companies

8. General law enforcement

Requirements - Born or naturalized Spanish

- Between 18 and 30 years old

- At least 1.65 meters tall (for men), and 1.60

metres for women

- Not to have been a convicted of fraud or

dismissed by the state, autonomous or local

governments, or prevented from holding public

functions.

- Hold a driving licence of the class specified by

the government.

So that’s it a concise guide to the old bill in spain.

Next time you’re sitting in a lay bye - awaiting

the policeman whose lights still fill the rearview

mirror – at least you’ll know who it is who is

handing over the fine. Although as we stated the

National Police and the Guardia

are never in the same place

at the same time…could it be

there is only one force

after all…?

6

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Due to the current financial climate and the

sales slump in the property market for a

considerable number of non-resident home-

owners rentals are the obvious way to get a

revenue and have gone up accordingly. Here I

am going to give you some information to take

into consideration.

The current Law of Urban Lettings provides

that residential contracts are subjet to yearly

renewals up to five years. If your rental con-

tract is made for one year the law requires that

the contract is renewable for a total five-year

period. The rent is usually revised annually

and increased by the cost of living published

by the authorities each year. At the end of the

five years, the landlord can raise the rent as

much as he wishes, either for a new tenant or

for his existing one.

Since such long-term lets with all the implica-

tions of eviction problems are usually not the

best option for foreign property owners the

alternative sought by most is the holiday rental

which has separate rules. These short-term

rental contracts called arrienda de temporada

or contrato de temporada do not grant the

tenant any right to automatic extension. The

tenant has to vacate the property when the

contract ends. Usually these contracts are

made for any short-term period up to a maxi-

mum of eleven months.

I am sure it is no news for you that even these

holiday rentals have their pitfalls. Choose

your tenants carefully! Nonfulfillment of the

rent payment and possible damages to your

property are a couple of hazards. As a guar-

antee against the latter, the law establishes

the landlord’s right to a deposit. It consists of

one month’s rent for a residential property and

two months’ rent for commercial premises.

In practice tenants tend to think that they no

longer have to pay for the last month because

they left said one month’s deposit. This is ab-

solutely wrong and against the law. You need

it also as a safeguard for electric and water

bills that always arrive late.

BUT…even though you sign a rental contract

between landlord and tenant in which such

conditions are stipulated there is of course no

guarantee that your tenant is going to fulfill all

those. It is very common that tenants do not

stay the full term for which they have signed

the contract. If this occurs due to their lack

of finances (although the reasons given may

differ) be prepared just to let them go. There

is no point in taking legal action in order to

force a tenant to stay for the contracted period

if they cannot pay the rent anyway. And even

less if you have pocketed the rental income

without fulfilling your own obligation, that is

paying the taxman his share.

So finally we have the tax implications. Only

resident landlords have reductions on rental

income and can also deduct a whole range of

expenses. Non-resident have absolutely no

reduction or deduction at all and declare their

rental income on a special tax form that has

to be presented and paid on a monthly basis,

with a tax of 25 % on your rental income from

the first Euro.

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Last week, Scotland abolished car parking charges at NHS

hospital car parks. Previously, Wales abolished prescription

charges and has announced it intends to abolish car parking

charges in 2011.

That leaves us in England forking out bucket-loads of money if

we want to visit hospitals or need a presciption and do not fall

into an exempt category.

It’s no wonder that people living in

villages near the Welsh border want

to become part of Wales, and the

likes of Carlisle want the Scottish

border to the moved south.

Come to think of it, perhaps we

should become part of Spain - re-

ducing our council tax from around

£1,100 to £300pa has some merit!

Car parking charges in England’s

hospitals are nothing more than

an additional tax and us, targeted

on sickness. Cancer patients, for

example, need regular hospital visits

for treatment and car parking over

a year can cost several hundreds of

pounds.

This is totally unfair. I would refer to

a pompous statement on the issue

from the Department of Health from

this dreadful government, stating:

“We do not think it a sensible use

of limited resources to subsidise car

parking at hospitals for everyone.

Our priority is the safety and speed

of health care.”

Now isn’t that a good one? Is this government spokesman

seriously suggesting that “safety and speed of health care” is

grossly compromised in Scotland and Wales? If that’s the case,

then let’s have a proper examination of the facts.

At a time when hundreds of thousands of people are being

thrown out of work due to the recession, just consider those

lucky people who work in town halls or government. They’re not

only virtually immune and have nice, cosy retirement packages,

they have actually been earning more than their counterparts in

the private sector.

Research by the right-wing TaxPayers’ Alliance has shown that

while the average pay in private companies was £20,715 in

2008, in the public sector was £21,413.

It’s often crossed my mind during my career in journalism, what

on earth I have been doing working with the stresses that exist

producing newspapers, week in, week out, when I could have a

cushy little number writing endless press releases working in a

council or government office, and getting more money into the

bargain.

Government and councils must bear

their fair share of the pain this recession is

going to cause and it is wrong for them to continue their spend,

spend,spend ways. All it does is put up taxes, now or in future.

Take, for instance, an example offered by the TaxPayers’ Alliance

of the way some councils have been

adding to their payrolls by creating

useless non-jobs.

How would you like to be a com-

munity space challenge co-ordinator

with a salary of £33,777? I bet you

would. No, it’s not working on the

next space flight of the Challenger.

It’s all about engaging young people

at risk of offending by helping them

develop their environmental aware-

ness and deliver exciting projects

within the community.

I don’t think I would be really cut

out for this job. I don’t think my

sympathies would be channelled in

the right direction. I think a tough

ex-sergeant major might be the right

person to “develop the environmen-

tal awareness” by deliving a kick up

their backsides.

The leading clergy in Britain have

embarked on mass criticism of the

Labour government over the past

few weeks.

They have accused Labour of “in-

vesting hopes in a project which was bound to disappoint – the

project of growth without limit without any end in view”.

Other clergy have accused the party of being “beguiled by mon-

ey” and “morally corrupt” and it had “reneged on its promises”.

The government was also accused of squandering their oppor-

tunity to transform society and has run out of steam, sacrificing

principled politics and long-term solutions for policies designed

to win votes.

And Dr Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, has said

increasing public spending in recession was like an “addict re-

turning to the drug”.

And another leading figure has said:”It is becoming clearer how

far we have been mortgaging our children’s tomorrow to fund

our today, both financially and in our use of the finite resources

of the earth.”

A few decades ago such concerted criticism of a government by

the church would have quickly led to the downfall of that gov-

ernment. Perhaps sadly, today it does not wield such influence.

It’s often crossed my mind during my career in journalism.. By Tony Mayes

12

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opping into

the local ‘trendy’ café bar used

to be a simple affair; the usual

arrangement of coffees a wide

choice of booze but if you’ve

been lately you’ll notice that

anyone who actually is trendy

is supping tea. Now before you

start thinking that PG Tips is the

new ‘black’ and that you’re ob-

viously right up to date as your

cupboard is full of catering bags

of the stuff, stop. For this isn’t

tea as you and I know it this is

an ‘infusion.’

Behind the bar you’ll see the ‘Jar-

din Del Te,’ or a shelf as you and

I know it, brimming with attrac-

tive containers that contain, what

looks

like

what is commonly

known amongst

bird fanciers as

‘Trill’. Now these teas

have magical powers and

will stimulate your mind, open

up your breathing passages and

make you regular along with

many other benefits helping you

relax in your trendy bar, unless

your passages have opened up a

bit too keenly…

They are called ‘teas of the world’

with certain countries offering up

differing variations, for example

the English tea is Earl Grey but

I’ve yet to meet anyone from

England who actually drinks the

stuff apart from our photogra-

pher who comes from Manches-

ter so that doesn’t count. It

should be PG in there when

they open the fancy tin. Im-

agine the look on some poor

Yuppies face as he sees a

tea bag dropped into a cup

with two big lumps ofsugar and

god

po r t i on

of milk. Slap a bacon butty down

next to it and you’ve got a proper

English tea with the appropriate

accompaniment instead of Earl

Grey which tastes like someone

has dropped a dandelion in it to

soak…for several days.

No, give me a good old English

cuppa anytime. ‘Tropical Sunrise’

may well relax me and help me

breathe and ‘Midnight Sunset’

may aid my digestive system.

But when I was little I had simi-

lar tasting stuff to this which did

exactly the same as an infusion,

but for a quarter of the price…

we called it medicine…

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WAITING FOR GOD ‘O

Two or three months ago I was having trouble

swallowing. I put it down to maybe an oversized olive,

or a sweet and sour prawn ball, gobbled down too

quickly before anyone else could grab it. Turns out

it’s a Tumour, caused probably by all those Marlboro I

smoked many years ago, ( John Wayne’s really got a lot

to answer for ).

Anyway, here I am in Elche Hospital, awaiting my fate

as they say, but it’s not all doom and gloom, as the rest

of this missive will, I hope prove.

Firstly, I can’t eat or drink anything at all, which poses

one or two problems, especially to someone like me

who thinks that eating is one of the great pleasures of

life.

So they feed me through a tube with a white liquid

which gives me all the nourishment I need. But It’s

not the same, as I can’t taste it, ( just as well ).Also

a number of my visitors will insist on telling me what

they had for dinner last night, and what they are having

tomorrow, and would I like some grapes, (very funny).

So, to take my mind off food, I glance up at the TV

and see a commercial for Pizza, or there’s a cookery

program on.

Anyway, the thing is, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I

don’t eat, and I don’t go out with women, but I make

all my own dresses. Keeping your pecker up has a

whole new meaning in here.

I’m in a room for two, (not bad for a NHS hospital),

and my roommate Antonio has his wife Isabel with

him 24-7, and they usually change places in the night

and he ends up on the relaxer chair with her in the

bed. Now, the first nurse in the morning is taking

temperatures, so she bustles in, and seeing a shape in

the bed, stuffed the thermometer straight into Isabel’s

ear by mistake. I have to say, that one look at Antonio

would have told the nurse who was the patient and who

was the visitor.

Isabel has also worked out that if you pull out the plug

of the TV and put it straight back in, you get another

20 hrs free before you have to pay another 4€, ( typical

Spanish ingenuity ).

As you can imagine, I have a bit of time on my hands

while they ponder my problem, so I got to thinking

about all the different members of staff that I’ve seen

in the 12 days or so I’ve been here. I got up to 30 and

stopped counting. 30 different people, all doing their bit

to make me well again. From the surgeon and doctors,

all the nurses, ( and there a lot of them ), scanner

technicians ,cleaners and ambulance drivers. I owe

these people a huge debt of thanks, and I’ll do my best

not to let them down.

You Need Friends.

Bird watching from my hospital window has only

turned up a few Sparrows, A pigeon and a very lost

Grey Heron, so I’ve started keeping a list of all the

visitors I’ve had, and how many times they’ve been

to see me. It’s quite amazing, I didn’t know I knew so

many people, never mind having them visit me, ( they

obviously haven’t seen my will )

Have you noticed, everyone wants to bring you

something, but not grapes in my case. Someone who

shall be nameless brought me a 500 piece jigsaw, and

I told her to change it for a 250 piece, just in case I

don’t have time to finish it, ( humour is the way I’m

dealing with this ) The time goes by quickly with visitors

coming and going every morning and afternoon, and I’d

like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart, (you

know who you are ), because without you all it would be

all too easy to descend into despair. So my battle with

this goes on, in fact when my bed side phone rings, I’m

liable to say “ War Office, who wants a fight”

by Brian Conduit

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At about this time of the year, my old Grand-

dad used to say to me in his broad Hampshire

accent,

“ Winter has gone, and Summer is here,

and the Boid is on the wing,

But that is absoid,

Because the wing is on the Boid”.

This is a great time of the year, when we can

look forward to warm summer days, and balmy

nights, cold beer, sangria and barbecues.

As usual there’s always a down side to every-

thing, and this time of the year is no exception.

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but April is

the month for the proccesionary Caterpillars to

come crawling down from their silvery spun nests

high up in the pine trees. As their name implies,

they travel along in a line, nose to tail, and the

line can be up to a metre in length. These crea-

tures must not be touched, as the hairs on their

bodies contain a toxin which will bring you out

in a nasty rash. Those of you with dogs need to

extra vigilant, as some dogs have been known to

die after sniffing these strange caterpillars.

Mosquito’s are always a pain in the summer

months, particularly near water. I’ve found that

rather than wait until you’ve been bitten, use a

repellent, and one of the best on the market is a

product called GOBI,. It has a pleasant smell and

is notsticky. You can get itin any chemist.Snakes

and scorpions show their faces as soon as the

temperature climbs, and turning over large rocks

can usually uncover a scorpion or two. The brown

scorpion found here in Spain, although giving

you a nasty nip, is no way life threatening .The

largest snake is a Bastarda, which can be up to 2

metres in length, and I had a skin once that was

over that.

So let’s look forward to a nice warm summer,

free of these nasties, and a large increase in the

pound euro exchange rate.

COSTA BLANCA BIRD CLUBProbably the most popular of our trips, is the one

where we end up at Crevillente at the Bonelli’s

eagle nest site. 27 of us set off on a bright sunny

Thursday morning, for once not stopping on the

Salinas, but working our way across the Vista-

bella fields birding from the vehicles. Buzzard,

Booted eagle, Kestrel and 4 Magpies, (quite

unusual here), kept our list of species growing.

An early Swallow was seen, along with a number

of warblers, and 5 or 6 large raptors far off in the

distance that were probably buzzards and booted

eagles.

We spent a very pleasant 45 mins or so at the

back gate of El Hondo, Watching a superb

Booted Eagle perched in a nearby euca-

lyptus tree, and all the

telescopes were kept

busy with 27 pairs of

eyes feasting on this

wonderful bird. A

Kingfisher per-

formed for us as

we made our way

to the San Felipe reserve. A newly opened walk

gave us good views of Moustached warbler, and

a magic moment when 26 Cranes flew overhead

and landed in a nearby field.

We were all looking forward to our lunch with

Colin and Jane at Finca bonelli’s Eagle, and they

didn’t let us down, with a great meal in the sun-

shine on their terrace. Then the Eagles appeared,

with the male perching on a ledge, and the

female standing up on the nest, taking a short

rest from incubating her two eggs. A club mem-

ber was heard to say, “Where else could you,

in-between courses, jump up and watch Bonelli’s

Eagles on their nest”.

A great day out, and I can recommend Colin and

Jane’s finca for a meal, dinner or overnight stays,

at very reasonable rates.

Aprils field trip is on Wed 15th and will take in

the Sierra Espuña and the steppe area of the

Guadalentil. Please call me on 966690497 or e

mail me at [email protected] for more

info. On Thursday the 9th April, I will be in the

new hide on the Clot de Galveney in the morning

at about 11 00 am if anyone would like to come

along and say hello

“ Winter has gone, and Summer is here, and the Boid is on the wing,

But that is absoid, Because the wing is on the Boid”

by Brian Conduit

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YOU CAN’T PULL THE WOLF OVER MY EYES...Well, like the little lost boy my mind is a blank this month; my usual source

seems to have dried up. Because when I visited the GA centre there was

no newspapers left which contain all the facts and information I use to write

this column. It’s written in Spanish and I just pick out the articles that are rel-

evant, translate them and re write them. Now, while were at it would whoever

borrowed a set of jumper leads off me please return them as I cant remem-

ber who you are…thank you in anticipation for returning them.

Now the next subject on everyone’s minds of late is this promise of a golf

course, or rather lack of one so far and just rumours. Well, sorry but I have

been here 23 yrs and their still isn’t one, just lots of hot air and whitewash.

Yes plans have been made and no doubt passed by the local council and

even looked into by the valencian government. But here is an imaginary

scenario which is purely a hypothetical scenario, (if anyone is understanding

any of this please write in and tell me…ED).

Just supposing you owned a big shop in a small town and a big chain want-

ed to open one of their shops on a out of town site with all the usual fringe

things like car parks, cinema, and whatever else they could offer to entice

shoppers out of the town centre and into their store. But you were able to

keep putting back planning permission because you had a member of your

family in a high government position. We’ll say no more about the proposed

golf course in Santa Pola, but what you will no doubt get, and you can quote

me on this, is more houses and roads with the inevitable building of more

units for bars. Golf course? now that’s another entity and what do we want

a golf course for when we have El Plantio golf course just behind the airport

which is only a short distance away by car, excellent facilities and its owned

by the prime minister’s cousin…now how bad is that for all you golf loving

friendly people.

Well, as I am sitting here writing this article I am trying the internet for up-

coming fiestas and whatever in Santa Pola but I am not finding much in the

way of information. The only thing showing so far is the world championship

for wind surfing which is being held here in Santa Pola from the 09/09/2009

till the 19/09/2009 firstly there is the Spanish championship then the follow-

ing week the world championship.

Still searching and not a lot being shown I am afraid except the usual public-

ity for bars and hotels, so it looks like this month’s article will be a bit short

and not my usual ‘editor’s nightmare’ of trying to keep within a certain num-

ber of words which for me is an impossibility as anyone who knows me will

testify that once I start talking I don’t know when to stop and its the same

with my literary skills. (With you there Colin…ED). Well anyway have a nice

month till next time and if you’re having a fete or anything please let me

know so I can write about it and get you some free publicity.

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Colin’s SANTA POLAPErFOrMAnCE & dIESEl

cOLIN’S eDUcATIONAL

cORNeRCANNON BALLS !!!

It was necessary to

keep a good supply

of cannon balls near

the cannon on old war

ships. But how to

prevent them from

rolling about the deck

was the problem. The

best storage method

devised was to stack

them as a square

based pyramid, with

one ball on top, rest-

ing on four, resting on

nine, which rested on

sixteen.

Thus, a supply of 30

cannon balls could

be stacked in a small

area right next to the

cannon. There was

only one problem --

how to prevent the

bottom layer from slid-

ing/rolling from under

the others.

The solution was a

metal plate with 16

round indentations,

called, for reasons

unknown, a Monkey.

But if

this plate were made

of iron, the iron balls

would quickly rust to

it. The solution to the

rusting

problem was to make

them of brass - hence,

Brass Monkeys.

Few landlubbers re-

alize that brass con-

tracts much more and

much faster than iron

when chilled.

consequently, when

the temperature

dropped too far, the

brass indentations

would shrink so much

that the

iron cannon balls

would come right off

the monkey.

Thus, it was quite lit-

erally, cold enough to

freeze the balls off a

brass monkey. And all

this time, you

thought that was just

a vulgar expression,

didn’t you? You must

send this fabulous bit

of historical

knowledge to at least

a few friends.

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GAgran alacant

During the month of March 2009 there have been several complaints from residents about the graffiti which has been appeared on private buildings in Santa Pola – one of the areas in question is beside the Correos and another is in Calle Belgica in Gran Alacant. They have told me and I have also seen with my own eyes that there is rubbish and rubble on the sierra. After speaking to the department responsible for the cleaning, they say that they cannot do anything because they are private buildings. I asked him if he is able to send a letter to these communities suggesting that they clean it themselves in, and the reply was that it was not possible as they are private residences. However, he did indicate that they were monitoring the complaints. I am hoping that they clean it, and maintain awareness about keeping our country-side clean because it has an effect on the image people have of Santa Pola.Well, we are starting the month of April with a lot of rain – an abundance of water, and I hope that the weather improves because from 3rd to the 12th April we have religious fiestas and processions - that is to say it is our “Semana Santa”. During this period there will be a medieval market in the castle which was built in the 14th century. The market takes us back into olden times and I have to mention that courtyard of weapons that has been witnessed as being one of the most im-portant historical finds that has happened in these centuries – tales such as the expulsion of the Moors in 1609, or the visit to Santa Pola by Alfonso XII in order to award it the title of a town. For centuries the courtyard of weapons was the centre of political and military life – today it is one of the places where people like to gather. It is a welcoming place which completely changes during the fiesta, with people meeting to watch different processions and sentimental fiestas which reflect on the spirit of these people and our tradi-tions. I take the opportunity to invite you to experience them and feel how I do about them. Enjoy the fiestas as much as you can.

If you have any questions that you would like to ask Loreto - pop along to the municipal centre in GA and make an appointment to see her. You’ll find her ex-tremely helpful, and don’t worry - she apeaks English!

Hello to all of you again,

IDear friends,

Once again it is a pleasure to write some words about the news regarding the life in Gran Alacant.

First of all, I would like to let you know about the Eastern fiestas that we are going to celebrate in Santa Pola. We are going to be able to join this festivity next week from 6th to 12th of April. This is a very important celebration for the people living in Santa Pola and I would hope you will enjoy them this year. You will have the schedule of all the activities we have prepared for you at the Municipal Office in Gran Alacant.

You will also see in a very short period of time that we are going to put around 30 small bins in some streets of Gran Alacant. They will be distributed along Avenida Carabasí, Mediterráneo and Escandinavia. I hope this action will help somehow to keep our area a little bit cleaner. I think all of us must bear in mind that it is necessary to be clean to have a clean town. This is the reason why I would like to ask you to use these new small bins that are going to be installed soon.

Finally, I would like to thank all the people who have joined the courses and activities we are developing in our new halls at Life Resort. It has been a great success and we will provide you with more activities soon. One of these new activities we are going to start with is like “a languages exchange”; we are going to get together English speaking people with Spanish speaking people and try to make them speak in the other language. If you are interested in this new project and you would like to learn some Spanish and help a Spanish person to learn some of your English, please, do not hesitate and write down your name in the list of interested people at the Municipal Library. I think this could be a great experience that can help you to get more integrated in our culture and language and, at the same time, you will help somebody else to learn English language. The integration of the different languages, cultures and nationalities that we have in our area is one of the main aims as a councillor of Gran Alacant and I think this type of activities can help to get it.

Thank you very much for your collaboration to make Gran Alacant a better place to live day after day.

Speak to you next month.

Hi GuysWell, I’m back from my annual jaunt across the pond, and I am happy to say I’m glad to be back this time - no more pangs and longing to be back in England or to move to America! I had a great time with family in England and America, but this time it felt like coming home.When I got back, I was shocked at how quiet Gran Alacant was. I saw no-one passing my casa for the first 2 weeks that I was back and when I got over my jet lag and ventured out, I was surprised at how quiet the bars and restaurants were – and also the amount of people who have packed up and gone back to England.I would like to wish Dave & Sue the Best of Luck in their new venture at the Sioux Bar. I was surprised to hear that they had left Destinations, but so glad they had not gone back to Eng-land.I would also like to wish my good friends Moya & Reg of La Palma all the best in whatever they de-cide to do next and I would like to thank them for their friendship and thoughtfulness over the past 4 years. I am going to miss you guys!I went to the opening day at the Life Resort on Saturday, but was disappointed with them for not having organised trips round the Resort. As I am not good on my legs, I would have liked a buggy ride and someone to have ex-plained what the Life Resort is all about. Although they had promised free sangria and pres-ents for everyone, I did not see any of this. Having said this, I did enjoy the music and the art gallery. I thought the ladies mak-ing lace were very good - I don’t know how they remember which bobbin to move! It was good to see an English lady (Angie) in the grip as well. I like seeing the British trying to integrate with the Spanish.The opening day of the Life Re-sort was a great day out for the family. There were 2 bouncy castles for the children, ice

creams, games, and half price meals at the cafe bar – but I wish the over 55’s had been bet-ter catered for.I got a call from Loretta whilst I was in America (5 o’clock in the morning!) to tell me about the new classes that were starting in the Life Resort – Flamenco Dancing, Ballroom Dancing, Sal-sa and exercise classes as well. I have been along to observe these classes, and although I have bad knees and find the classes too much for me, I rec-ommend everyone to go along and try some of the classes as they looked really good – and again it gives everyone a chance to integrate. Loretta, the person I would really like to see doing a class in The Life Resort is Tony Pitt. He has a great program for us over 21’s (which in my case is a seat to do my exercises on!)Well, that’s all for now.“Have a nice day ya all” Mo

Don’t forget the walk for life on 19th April – you are all invited to take part. It is a sponsored walk in aid of the Elche Oncology wing. It takes place at the Car-rabassi beach at 10am on the 19th April. Please come along in your decorated bras (prize for the best one!) at 9.30am to reg-ister. Get your sponsor forms from Maureen – ring 618 183 298. Look forward to seeing you all. Mo.The British Legion needs you! They are looking for more mem-bers to join them. They meet at the Norwegian bar in Urb Sierra Mar (opposite Just Desserts) on the first Tuesday of the month. The next meeting is 7th April at 7.30pm. Please go along and support them. They are holding a dinner dance in Destinations on the 18th April. It is the first event since their inauguration and you can get the tickets from Destinations Bar. Price €15. If anyone has any ideas about what events day they would like to see run on Gran Alacant or ideas for days out, please come along on the 7th April and put your ideas to the committee.

Councillor for Gran Alacant& the Popular Party

LORETOCASCALES

PSOE Councilor in Santa Pola

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Life in

Do you speak LMB ? I try not to, but living on the

urbanization that I do, it’s hard not to. So what is LMB,

I hear you ask ? Well, it actually stands for La Marina

B******s !! I’m not going to actually write the word,

but in Spanish it’s cojones - testicles to be grammatically

correct. I’m sure you catch my drift……It’s not difficult to

speak, unlike Spanish.

You see the thing is, if you live here you may actually be

speaking it, but not even know it ! I first noticed this new

language shortly after we came to live here, can that be

ten years ago, where has that time gone ? At that time, of

course, I needed lots of information, about how things are

done here, as it definitely differed from England. Where

we came from in the UK, it either worked or it didn’t,

it was black or white, A or B, you filled in a form, and

provided you did it right, you got the right result. Here...

sigh…well, it’s not like that here, is it ? This is where I first

encountered LMB. It was in the form of advice, sought

or unsought, on all things Spanish, how and where to do

it, how much, who from…..and the funny thing was… I

believed it all….well, most of it anyway !

Gradually, it began to dawn on me, as things did not turn

out as I had been advised…that ‘some’ people did not know

what they were talking about….then after several more

years here, I began to realise… MOST people didn’t know

what they were talking about ! Subjects like residencia

(shudder !), banks, money, cars, the law, rates, bills, the

list is endless. Thank the Lord I did not have to battle with

schools, I did my bit in the UK years ago. However, due to

a legacy from the previous owner of my first house here,

my early speciality LMB subject was building regulations

here. Hah ! I got some wonderful advice there, my

confused opinions about permissions etc depended on who

I had spoken to last. Everyone differed from the last, or

anything previously and almost all were wrong – classic

LMB ! The current one is UK driving licences, and the

hot issue of medicals, needed or not ? Not loadsa money,

loadsa LMB !

The amount of cojones I was told about the above subjects

was amazing, and the accuracy of it ? Less than ten per

cent, I would say ! I gradually began to disbelieve whatever

I was told, especially if it came from a British direction. I

was rarely disappointed ! I say ‘British’, because LMB can

be spoken in a bewildering variety of accents. Don’t get

me wrong, I love accents, they make me howl – I always

imagine someone from a foreign country having supposedly

learnt, say ‘BBC’- type English, then being parachuted

into… parts of Geordieland / Yorkshire / Lancashire /

Midlands / Scotland / Wales ( hang on, I’m just taking the

phone off ! ) where the local accent is strong and peculiar

to that particular area. I consider I have been around a

bit, especially in my working life as a salesman, but even

I have great trouble understanding my fellow countrymen,

even out here, so what chance does someone from another

country stand ? But LMB has no particular loyalty, it is

practiced in just about every UK accent there is here.

I can’t leave without giving you a couple of recent

examples of LMB - a helicopter sighted over La Marina

was apparently searching for a group of East - European

muggers (complete with knives, naturally !) intent on

slashing and holding us up here, in broad daylight, of

course, like you do. It transpired that the Police were on a

training exercise which covered our area, but I’m sure you

get my point. I’m not sure whether that particular piece

was linked to the attempted shooting on ‘that’ roundabout

( you know, the N332 one !), and the activities that go on

there.

Perhaps I still believe in Father Christmas and that the

council in San Fulgencio will one day do the right thing and

spend some of our money here in La Marina putting the

roads and lighting right, keeping the place clean. I actually

like living here, and I wouldn’t if I thought I was living in a

(British !) ghetto, like some UK dailies would have their

readers believe. I’m beginning to ascend my soap box now,

and as I’m not particularly political, I think I’ll call it a day

here ! So now that I’ve identified this very local dialect

here, look out and listen for LMB around you on the Urb

– someone, somewhere is speaking it, right now – it’s not

you, is it ?

DO YOU SPEAK LMB ?By John McGregor

K9 Club Animals For Adoption


JD – You’ve been here almost three years now, working as a computer engineer – which means you fix computers – so come on, in my experience people who repair computers usually have a ‘interesting’ background, what was your trade in the UK? Ice cream man?RC – Ha-ha, no I’m afraid it was nothing as exciting as that, I have been involved in computers pretty much since I left school, many years ago now! I am a terrible fan of gadgets and all things ‘techy’ as you say. Before I left the UK I headed a team of 60 people which provided IT and computer services for companies such as Barclaycard, Securicor, Microsoft, Dell and Guinness amongst many others. It was fun and interesting - is there anything better than having a job that is also your hobby?

JD – As far as I know, in an interview, it’s supposed to be me who asks the questions so I’ll ignore yours and ask about BlueMoon Solutions, in other words, what is it?...holistic healing?RC – now there I was last night worrying about this interview and imagining a ‘Paxman’ sitting in front of me asking tough questions!

JD – just answer the question would you!...better?RC- Ha-ha! Ok two friends and myself set up BlueMoon as a supplier of IT services to the small to medium businesses that were, at that time, either having to pay big fees to the existing IT companies or they would have to rely on a friend who ‘might know a bit about computers’. That’s still what we do as a company but my role in Spain is slightly different but much more satisfying.

JD – Satisfying? Why?RC – well, back in the UK it was 95% corporate business; dealing with companies and working in offices, 100% suit wearing! Here in Spain I help people who have problems with their home PC or laptop and I get to meet so many genuinely happy people that my days of ‘work’ are actually a social outing too! Having said that, I still supply IT services to small and medium sized businesses, but businesses here seem

much more ‘personal’ and getting to know the people that run them is great. What keeps me busy is helping the individuals and I travel all over our region doing this and have found out so much more about this great country at the same time. Plus! I get to wear jeans or shorts and a tee shirt most of the time instead of a suit. I love the relaxed way of going about things here in Spain - it’s so infectious.

JD – so is it just the Brits you help out?...do they come to your shop or office?RC – No, we now look after many different nationalities, fortunately they have a good

grasp of English. My Spanish is improving all the time so I’m ok with the natives but I’ve not yet mastered the Scandinavian, German, French and Chinese tongues quite yet! Luckily, I’ve been working with computers for so long now that I can operate a PC in any language and our relationship with Dell means that it’s just as easy for us to supply a new computer in Dutch as it is in English. Plus I keep myself up to date with the latest innovations and by taking exams frequently for my qualifications. As for premises…we considered the idea but our service is all about getting people back online or solving problems as quickly as possible for our customers and most of the time I can do that with their computer in their home. It means that they don’t have to lose the use of it for a few days and they don’t have to unplug all those leads!

JD – yeah, I’ve seen the list of letters but to me, and a lot of others, they look like a disease, I mean, what on earth is an MCSE?...and does it hurt?RC – Er…no, there’s no pain involved, unless you include taking the many exams, but it means that I’m very well qualified to deal with pretty much any problem you might come across either at home or in business. I can also get help, support, and advice, directly from Microsoft and our other partners. That helps me be able to sort out someone’s PC in the shortest possible time and in their own home or office, as I said earlier - our customers appreciate that.

JD – Well, we’re coming to the end but if there is one piece of advice you’d offer home users to keep their PC running smoothly, what is it?RC – Ok, one important thing to remember is don’t download illegal software or music files as they often come attached to viruses and always, always back up data regularly to ensure that your files are as protected as possible should the worst happen. Whatever you do don’t get frustrated like the guy in this link http://tinyurl.com/df86fl - call us before you get to this stage! JD – Thanks for that Richard, off to work now?RC – Er…yes, I’m off to meet a customer with her laptop…over a coffee.

BLUEMOON SOLUTIONS?

...WHAT’S THAT ALL

ABOUT THEN?

Jungle Drums’ computer expert, Richard Cavender has been with us for over two years now and is by far the most successful ‘techy’ we’ve had on these pages. His experience and expertise have helped out scores of readers (and me…) but we thought it was about time we found out a little bit more about what this fellow from Northamptonshire does, and how he does it.

JUNGLE DRUMS talks to


In my previous existence as an Engineering Projects Manager I became heavily

reliant on my Laptop, but always had in house IT backup. Now in Spain and running

a Restaurant, old habits die hard. All my literature, accounts and planning (albeit

simple stuff) are produced and kept on my laptop. Then one day it gave up the ghost,

panic set in when I realised the IT backup was no longer there. A customer referred

me to Richard. I have never looked back and can confidently refer people to his

professional approach to dealing with problems and solutions without the confusing

jargon associated with IT that normally stumps us novices.

Joe Wilson – The Lemon Tree Restaurant – La Marina Pueblo

"When my computer died (literally!) I phoned a trusted friend to ask if they

could recommend an IT company. To say it was an emergency was an un-

derstatement. BlueMoon arrived when they said they would, dealt with the

problem and gave me an immediate solution which meant I could continue

running my business. To find such a reliable, professional IT expert in

Spain is nothing short of miracle. It's good to know that I have BlueMoon

on standby for all my computer support in the future. I regularly recom-

mend them to my friends and associates."

Caroline Garrett, Spice Marketing & PR, Costa Blanca

With eight computers in daily use and the type of business that no

longer works with just a pencil, piece of paper and a brain, it’s impera-

tive that we have a professionally run company to keep us up to date

and running smoothly and also be ready to jump in speedily when

things go wrong. Bluemoon hosts our web page, backs up

and securely stores our data, fights our viruses, services

our hardware and solves everything that happens to

our computers. It’s a reliable, expert company and we

recommend them wholeheartedly.

Linda and Steve Rowland, Insurance Brokers

WHAT PEOPLE SAYWe at Pocket Pages are more than satisfied with the excellent advice and service

given by Richard of Bluemoon Solutions.

Pocket Pages is a business reliant on computer systems, with numerous data on

various systems, we were concerned about back up etc, so we called Richard of

whom we had every confidence in helping us safe guard all our systems.

Carolyn Shedden Pocket Pages Managing Director

“My company relies on computer systems so when

things go wrong I need fast reliable assistance.

BlueMoon was recommended to me and has now

become a vital part of my organisation. They

have helped to build a more efficient administra-

tion structure and an excellent back-up service.

Most importantly Richard never makes me feel

ignorant and resolves my problems swiftly and

professionally.”

Tina Foster Parkinson, Espaneura SL - Catral

JUNGLE DRUMS talks to

Call Richard on 655044970 or 700756913 for friendly help & advice

28

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Talleres Perez Juan S.L Ctra Elche 10 - Santa Pola. Telephone 96 541 5921 or 96 541 3746

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We can renovate your dull, dirty, yellowed and fadedheadlights

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call 96 541 9769TRADE ENQUIRIES WELCOME

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COMPLETEMOTORINGSOLUTIONSEVERYTHING YOU NEED FOR

YOUR CAR IN SPAIN

Spring is here! What a lovely time of

year, for that leisurely drive, visiting

all those beautiful, Spanish places that

you have thought about during the long

winter.

With the warmer weather, don’t forget

to check your engine’s level’s; Oil,

Coolant, Brake Fluid and of course the

Screen Wash, it will be very dusty from

now on.

Also, now is the time to recharge your

air-con, so that you are prepared for the

summer heat. Should you need advice

on any of these, please contact us.

Just to prove that we have some

readers, may we extend a big thank-you

to, Julie, Derek and David, who were

quick to respond, to our piece about

Spanish Speed Camera’s, by advising us

of another, of the same breed, that has

recently made an appearance on the N

332, Alicante direction, just before the

Playa Lisa, slip road. The speed limit is

60 kph, so watch out; it could be a really

good money-maker!

Thanks also to William and Pat, who

e-mailed, with a concern about their

car insurance. For those of you, that

renew your Policy through Direct Debit,

the receipt, from your Bank, will be

fully detailed, as to its purpose and is

acceptable as proof of payment. Your

Insurance Company will not normally,

in these circumstances, issue a Policy

Receipt. We are indebted to Linda

Rowland Insurance, Santa Pola, for their

kind and expert advice

in this matter.

Just to update last month’s SUMA

information, bills have now been issued

and the deadline for payment is the 8th

of May, however this does not apply

to Santa Pola, where the bills will be

sent out from the 1st of April with an

extended payment period.

Chatting recently with a few local’s,

I asked the question as to why their

indicators don’t seem to function

properly, the spontaneous reply, was

that they only need to use them when

it’s dark!! So now we know, if you see

them being used in the daytime, be

careful, they are probably not going in

the direction indicated.

More Spanish driving tips next

month, I think I will ask them about

roundabouts!!

Have you heard about our Workshop’s

crisis beating, BUY ONE GET ONE FREE

offer? You can have an oil and filter

change for 60 euros AND receive a

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use it for your second car.

Contact us for more details on

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CALL 96 541 9769 www.COMPLETEMOTORINGSOLUTIONS.ES


1.-General Practice & litigation

2.-Claims Against Builders/Promoters

3.-Advice on Tax Matters( Income Tax, VAT,

Capital Gains, Company taxes, etc)

4.-Accountancy for companies and Self-Employed

people and individuals.

5.-English & Spanish Inheritance Advice

6.-real Estate Nie Numbers

Preparation of a private contract before the deed

Power of attorney, Bank Accounts

Mortgages, Loans

Notary Deed

Registration of the deed at land registry

7.-resident Permits

8.-Spanish Wills

9.-Trademarks

10.-repossessions ( Market Oportunities)

11.-Changes of foreign cars to Spanish registration

12.-Traffic AccidentsAvda. Escandinavia, 72, C.C. Altomar II, local 8,

Manzana E, 03130 GrAn AlACAnT (Santa Pola)

Telf: 966 698 796 · Fax: 966 699 570Espana - Spain · [email protected]

Avda. de Alicante, 24 7°03203 - ElChE (Alicante) ·Espana - Spain

Telf: 966 612 816 · Fax: 965 427 [email protected]

JLCA & AS - Lawyers

José-Luis Campillo & AsociadosAbogados - Lawyers

www.jlcalawyers.com

LAW, TAX ADVICE & ACCOUNTANCY

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e-mail. [email protected]

now the whole magazine can be viewed on the web with our unique page-turning

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LIFE IS TOO SHORT....so if you fancy doing somethingdifferent..just do it!

Is a chronic disorder which causes physical pain

and debilitating fatigue as well as a variety of

other symptoms.

Fibromialgy´s main symptom is pain affects the

ligaments, tendons and muscles through the body.

Fibromialgy patients often like they are aching

all over: muscles feel sore often accompanied by

muscle spasm. , and overworked. Muscles twitches

are also common in fibromyalgy,adding the pain of

the illness.

Many other symptoms

Sleep disorders-

Fatigue-

Morning stiffness-

Gastrointestinal Complaints-

Headaches-

How Osteopathy help?Osteopathic treatment can improve very helpful

in reducing the pain symptoms associated with

fibromialgia, reduction tender points, increased

range of motion and dexterity and decrease

numbrer of chronic headaches.

Osteopaths use a variety of differents types

of manipulations such soft tissue techniques,

mobilitation, direct techniques…to relieve stiffness,

increase range of motion of the joints, improve

the flexibility, get better muscle condition, muscle

stiffness and release tnder points.

CRISIS AID!

OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply

cross out the names and address of people you don’t know.

DON’T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite

tune and hum it. If you want to “switch tracks”, simply think of another

song you like and hum that instead.

DON’T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your

identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with

your old bank statements.

HOMEOWNERS: Prevent burglars stealing everything in the house

by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to

bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.

SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply

changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y,

DON’T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to

the object you wish to view.

SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking

around wearing a miner’s helmet.

HOUSEWIVES, the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for

the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in

your coat pocket.

SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following

morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble

full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

SAVE a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam, they

will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.

OLD people, if you feel cold indoors this winter, simply pop outside for

ten minutes without a coat. When you go back inside you will really feel

the benefit.

CAN’T afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film

and press them into your eyes.

WHY pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips

from the freezer and try piecing together potatoes.

MIX tea with coffee, and leave in the fridge to cool. Hey presto! Toffee.

MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry

on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.

SHOPPERS, when buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling

them before taking them to the counter to be weighed.

As ever the JD is here to help you survive…until the bankers get their bonuses again…

LivingLIFEFIBROMIALGIA SINDROME


Suzanne Lockwood

KIDS in Spain

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Pauline Harwood Management.P H Modelswww.phmodels.bizTel 0034 630 066 567Fax. 0034 96 646 2746

Learning a second languageThe latest studies on the brain reveal some interesting things for parents of young

children. Most of us know that children acquire a second (and even third) language

more easily if taught at an early age.

These studies show that kids’ brains are especially receptive to learning a second

language before the age of 10, adults and older children require years of study in

a non-immersion program before approaching fluency in a foreign language, yet

children under the age of 10 seem to more readily accept and learn these same

languages. (English has particular challenges since there are so many words that

sound the same but have different meanings; there are many irregular verbs, too)

What is even more interesting and new about studies on brain development is the

revelation that early exposure to more than one language actually builds a more

powerful brain. It also strengthens a child’s mastery and understanding of his first

language. Being bilingual or multilingual has its obvious advantages in a world

where communication is crucial to success.

In light of the new research, many parents realize the benefits of exposing their

young children to a second language. You may think it fruitless to expose infants

to a foreign language before they can even talk but the ability to distinguish and

process sounds or phonemes of foreign languages is highest in the first year of

life, before many babies even utter their first word. Many experts now believe

that babies exposed to more than one language during their first year of life will

not only have an easier time learning foreign languages later in life, but actually

improve their listening, problem-solving, and reasoning skills in general.

The first year or two of life is an essential time for sounds and phoneme circuitry

in the brain. Think about it, we all learned our very first native language by an

immersion approach (no one translated anything to us because there was simply

no language to translate to). Through lots of repetition, kids learn a language, any

language, naturally and intuitively simply by being immersed in it. The quantity

and frequency of words a child is exposed to has a direct influence on how fast

that child will learn a language both on a receptive and expressive level.

As we age, it is harder to accept an entirely new language without a rather

unnatural tendency to want to translate word for word to our native language, and

we all know this doesn’t work!

Suzanne Lockwood (Foundation Degree, NNEB, NVQ3, TEFL)

Email [email protected]

LivingLIFEFIBROMIALGIA SINDROME

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Bestsellers & Top Titles in StockSpanish dictionaries, text books & Study aids

Cookery, Painting & Craft books Over 1000 books in our pre read book exchange

Filofax gifts, Cross & Parker Pens & Refills Huge range of cards - for all occasions Gifts & Gift Vouchers

Special offer in April!!!!!More than 200 new paperbacks:3 for just 8.50€ (selected titles)

THE DOG HOUSE

View our range ofproducts at one of the following Stockists: AJ’s Supermercado (English & Dutch Products): Hondón de las Nieves Anthony’s Foods: San JuanB H Stores (Supermarket): CatralGreen & Brown British Supermarket: la Marina urbanisationJohnson’s Supermarket: Jacarilla (Urbanisation Naranjos)quicksave Supermarket: AlbateraQuicksave Supermarket: Rojales

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aPRIL 2009

AriesMar 20 - Apr 19

Star crossed lovers are set to bring a Shakespear-ean twist to your love life this month, beware win-dow ledges or porches in all of their forms - and hats with feathers in them.

A wise decision you made last month is set to pay dividends. This could be a fractionally lower cho-lesterol reading after eating all that fresh fish, or it might be that purchase of bank shares that rose sharply after bottoming out last month. Whatever good is about to unfold it is well deserved and you should enjoy it to its fullest extent possibly to the nth degree or at least the fth degree.

TaurusApr 20 - May 19

strange Harry Potter type incident involving an owl with a message attached to one of its legs will add a moment of both extreme excitement and anguish as feathers fly like you have just come across some kind of real life Tom and Jerry animal fight. Read the message the owl reluc-tantly gives you carefully. It wasn’t meant for you, but findseeskeepsies as they say. Act on this message carefully.A crash course in economics theory is all that stands between you and financial oblivion this month. Read any modestly relevant textbook with well thumbed pages for advice.

Gemini May 22nd - June 21st

In these credit crunch times retailers are only too happy to accept less than the price they are displaying to get a sale, but to get this you must pretend that you don’t really want the thing you are buying at all. The trick Saturn is keen to teach this month is that for best results never ever ever take ‘no’ for an answer. This month you will also learn the hard way not to take ‘the store is closing at 9pm’ for an answer either - if the police have to carry you from the building keep up the indifference at all times for best re-sults. (Saturn thinks we should get a premium rate telephone number and a £39.99 DVD to further explain this technique.)

Cancer June 22nd - July 22nd

Gladiatorial combat is highly starred this month, either in the sword-and-sandles bashing up an-other person sense or just the watching it on television sense. In either sense, probably best to avoid starchy foods which will only slow you down, or make you want to go to the toilet at the most inconvenient of moments.You have always distrusted horoscopes after your parents schemed to give you the medi-cal nightmare star sign that is Cancer. Jupiter agrees, but what to do?

LeoJuly 23rd - August 23rd

This might or might not be the best month in a long while to take a huge risk. The uncertainty is being caused by a small gale on the upper mid side of Jupiter’s lower eastern flank which is set to blow for much of the month. The best advice we can offer is to put off life changing decisions until the wind clears early in March, but perhaps take the odd small risk to keep up the practice.This year is now firmly set on a positive course that is the envy of all the other star signs, apart from Taurus. Be happy, laugh freely and feel un-encumbered by economic woes.

Virgo Aug 23 - Sept 21

A member of royalty from the north of europe is important this month, and for ever. Put off ev-erything else in your life and enjoy the company of them as you know how important they are. Priceless. Other inportant things will most cer-tainly occur this month but just look after what is important to you. Keep your eye on Charlie’s chocolate factory as only good will come from it. Unwrap any sweets with care and love because as you are finding out, the more you unwrap - the better it gets. Beware of a Tiddler that gets swal-lowed as you may have to help the famous pirate Kalsa go backwards.Talking is good, kissing is better so stick to tradi-tion and enjoy it and remember just how lucky you are.

Libra September 23rd - October 23rd

As you sometimes pride yourself, Libra are the know-it-all star sign. This month Saturn is on side to give you free rein to show off your inti-mate knowledge of loads of stuff to people who just haven’t got a clue.Software development in particular is set to en-croach on your spare time after you accidentally click on a link in an e-mail from Microsoft acci-dentally sent to you by a developer working on the next edition of Windows. You will initially be flummoxed by what is known in the trade as ‘an uncaught exception’.

Scorpio October 24th - November 22nd

‘Let them wait’ will be your motto this month. Keep to this and you will increase your accuracy ten fold, even though your actual productivity will reduce staggeringly. Don’t worry, nobody will notice.Cake, cookies and chocolate are so well starred this month that you may be tempted to consume enormous quantities of them. Beware, however: Neptune has its eye on an exercise plan for you later in the year that could make your veins pop if you are too overweight. (Remember, Neptune is zillions of miles away and can’t actually see your overweight physique, even though it can make you do things you would rather not do.)

Sagittarius November 23rd - December 21st

This month you will never be more than 30 min-utes away from a top hat and tails musical rendi-tion of ‘Me and my shadow’. Getting the dance steps right now will pay dividends later.A ‘storm in a teacup’ is a nicely English type way of saying that there may be moments of sudden small scale torment up until 16th of the month, by which time the main danger should be confined to the bathroom by blocking the door with a large cupboard or wardrobe.

Capricorn December 22nd - January 20th

Upsy Daisy is important in your life right now and rightly so but Tiddler may need your help in getting out of a deep hole. A new friend is very keen on you and would like to spend lots and lots of time playing your games. Look out for the bright lights as it means someone is coming to see you - and it will be fun! Blue is the colour of his chariot and once inside you can go wherever you want to so long as the beautiful princess ac-companies you, as she will forever.

Aquarius January 21st - February 18th

All your internet shopping bargain hunting is set to come under the influence of Neptune from the 5th after which time bargains will literally drip from your keyboard. Half-priced household goods, dvds, and other products too numerous to mention will be priced so unbelievably low that you will have to pinch yourself that this isn’t all a dream. Yes, you have moved to Bargains-ville. No money? - Don’t worry - Saturn has a surprise in store for you on the 10th!

Pisces February 19th - March 20th

A tall shop that you never used to go into is now open, just for you, and welcoming you with open arms. Everything in there is yours if you want it and in this special place you can wish for what-ever you desire and it will be realised.Accept that you are beautiful and intelligent and bask in the fact that someone out there is dreaming about you constantly and driving him-self crazy. The world has been yours since you were crowned and your guardian, the bull, will protect you forever. Sinun aari hämmästyttävä says Beefy.

YOUR STARS

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Across1. Carry with difficulty6. Get out!10. Chances14. St. __ Girl (German beer)15. Canal16. Nota ___17. The A in E.A.P.18. Buster, perhaps19. Part of Veni, vidi, vici20. Imitating Little Bo-Peep23. Asp has one24. __ roll25. In and of __28. Lao __, father of Taoism29. God in Gaul31. Norma __ (Field movie)32. Spend a night35. Transportation sector37. Abu __39. Imitating RinTinTin42. Bury43. Wing-like44. “September ___”, Diamond song45. Street equipment?46. Fashion designer, Michael48. Western hemisphere grp.50. __-sack52. United53. What Bo-peep wants to hear56. Imitating Mr. Ed60. Disagreeable person62. Hands-on item63. Lavigne64. Round up leaves65. French 101 verb66. Present or past, e.g.67. It could be gray68. Butters69. Often used key

Down1. “The final frontier” 2. Signs of sainthood3. Humdingers4. Panache5. Piebald ponies6. Medicinal shrub7. Steep rugged cliff8. Affected manners9. The IT guy10. Off-Broadway awards11. Eagles hit12. Incriminating evidence, perhaps13. Baste21. Deal with ashes22. Classical work26. It happens every birthday27. Play possum28. Moppet29. Deli offering30. Russian figure skater, Klimkin32. Tail sound33. Big toy maker 34. Edible thistle36. Lab medium38. Certain cuts40. Annoying one41. Swedish money47. Creature often eaten raw49. Open the window, maybe51. Divided nation52. Looks for bikinis53. Ripped off54. Seeds in a salad dressing55. “The War of the Roses” author, Warren57. A bit58. “Cheers” regular59. Hot spot60. Feminists burned it, maybe61. Kind of propeller

Across1. Volume with a lot of volume5. Up to snuff10. Student’s org.14. Designer Cassini15. Followers of Muhammad ibn Ismail ad-Darazi16. Kinks hit17. Columbus caravel18. Strauss material19. Sign20. Does this mean I’m ignorant or...23. Reagan’s ‘Star Wars’ project, for short24. Relative of 17 across25. No spring chicken28. Marches32. Tie a knot35. What the ‘fat lady’ sings37. Susan on “Coupling”38. La Sorbonne, e.g.40. ... that I don’t read this guy’s books or...43. ___ voice (conscience)44. Just a drop45. Knows what’s up46. Make lace47. Takes in50. __ Spiegel51. Collection52. Shaq’s shoe width54. ...that I don’t buy this guy’s booze?63. Sound of displeasure64. Shocking65. Having the resources66. Eric of Monty Python fame67. In reserve68. Lawsuit69. Word with swap or track70. Leveled71. Sherpa’s specialty

Down1. ‘Flakey’ tiger 2. Hodgepodge3. Dish list4. Euphemistic expletives5. How to make glycerin explosive6. Weight allowance7. Type of rock8. B __ Baby9. Item oft lost in the couch10. Onetime sprint record-holder, for short11. Luigi’s capital city12. Guiness13. It has a turret21. Takes too much LSD22. More prudent25. Smoking, e.g.26. Place for spectacles27. A well-known one is green29. Ditch plants30. Emcee’s concern31. Capital of Senegal33. Lift up34. Furnishings36. Downed39. Pigeon patter41. Caper42. Firmly inserted48. Waco campus49. Last word in “America the Beautiful”51. Not a liability53. Pass a bill54. Notion55. Make like Waldo56. ___ of Man57. Poet and feminist of the Americas (1895-1965), Lee58. Calif. neighbor59. Courteous60. Girder61. Ultimatum word62. Vichyssoise ingredient

Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they cant find any food!Dolphins sleep with one eye open!The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is over 9000 years old!In space, astronauts cannot cry properly, be-cause there is no gravity, so the tears can’t flow down their faces!There are more plastic flamingos in the U.S, than real ones!

MORE STRANGE STUFF...

answers page 46

get something on yer mind!

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ACCORDIONBAGPIPEBALALAIKABANJOBASSBODHRANCABASASCELLOCHIMESCITTERNCLARINET CONGACORNETCOW BELLDIDGERIDOODRUMEUPHONIUMFLUTEFRENCH HORNGUITARHARP

HURDY-GURDYLAOUTAMANDOLAMARACASMELODICAMIZMAROBOEOUDPENNYWHISTLEPICCOLO SAZSITARTARKATRIANGLETROMBONEUKULELEVEENAVIBRAPHONEVIOLINXUN

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Wordoku (or word sudoku) is much like traditional Sudoku, except that here you must place letters from a given 9 letter word into each of the blank spaces. Every row of the puzzle must contain one of each letter in the word, as must every column and every 3x3 square. Key word is CERTAINLY

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San Vicente Ferrer 15 April, Busot

Mare de Déu del Miracle 15 April, Relleu

Fiestas Patronales 16 April, Benissa

San Vicente 16 April, Sant Vicent del

RaspeigSant Vicent Ferrer 16 April, Teulada-

MorairaMare de Déu del Miracle

19 April, CocentainaMoros y Cristianos

22 to 24 de April, Alcoi/Alcoy

Moros i Cristians 2009 22 to 25 de April, Bany-

eres de MariolaMig Any Fester 22 April, Calpe

Feria Folklórica y Cultural 22 April, Castell de

CastellsFiestas Mayres y Moros

y Cristianos en Onil

del 22 de April al 1 de May, Onil

Mercado Medieval 2009 1 to 3 de May, Aigües

La Creueta 1 May, El Alfaz del Pi

Feria de May 2 May, Torrevieja

Fiestas de la Cruz 3 May, Alicante

Virgen de la Rosa 3 May, Benitatxell

Fiestas del Barrio de La Cruz 3 May, El Campello

Santa Cruz en Granja 3 May, Granja de Ro-

camoraFiestas en Honor Jesús Nazareno 3 May, Javea Fiesta de la Vera Cruz

3 May, MutxamelFiestas de Senija

3 May, SenijaMoros i Cristians 2009 8 to 11 May, Muro de

AlcoySan Gregorio de Osma

9 May, La Torre de les Maçanes

Els Fadrins 10 May, Alcoleja

Fiestas Patronales 12 de May, BiarApril 9th Maundy

Thursday Spain, except Catalonia

April 10th Good Friday Spain

April 13th Easter Monday Balearic Islands

CataloniaValencian Cty.

NavarraBasque Country

April 23rd Day of the Communities: Aragon

Castilla y León May 1st Labour Day

Spain May 2nd Day of the autonomous region

Madrid May 15th San Isidro

Madrid (city)

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NIGHTSHIFTENTERTAINMENT

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Every THURSDAYLONDON TAVERN

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Every FRIDAYLONDON TAVERN

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Every SUNDAYLONDON TAVERN

Gran Alacant&

CHURCHILLSGran Alacant

MONDAY Agres, Callosa d’en Sarrià, Cox, Dènia, Elche, Formentera, Granja de Rocamora, Ibi, La Nucia, Mono-var, Penáguila, Petrer, San Pedro del Pinatar, Santa Pola, Sax

TUESDAYAltea, Aspe, Beniarbeig, Beni-jofar, Campo de Mirra, Castalla, Elda, Jalón, Orihuela, Relleu, Sella, San Fulgencio, Tibi

WEDNESDAYAlbatera, Alcoy, Alqueries, Bañeres, Benejamar, Beniar-rés, Benidorm, Benil-loba, Benitachell, Biar, Callosa sel Segura, El Campello, Elda,

Guardamar, Monforte del Cid, Muchamiel, Ond-ara, Novelda, Orba, Petrer, Polop, San Miguel de Salinas, Sella, Teulada

THRUSDAYAgres, Agost, Alpe, Albatera, Algeña, Alicante, Benido-leig, Cocentaina, Hondon de los Frailes, Gran AlacantJávea, Jijona, Pego, Rojales, Villajoyo-sa, Villena,

FRIDAYAlbatera, Bañeres, Benejuzar, Beniar-rés, Benidoleig, Crevillente, Dènia, El Pilar de la Hora-dada, Finestrat, Gata, Granja de Ro-camora, L’Alfas del Pi, Moraira, Monforte del Cid, Montesinos, Muro de Alcoy, Onil,

Petrer,Rafal, Sella, Tibi, Torrevieja, Vergel

SATURDAYAlcoy, Alicante, Almoradi, Alquerias, Benissa, Bañeres, Calpe, Callosa d’en Sar, Castalla, Catral, Castell de Caste Elche, Elda, Gaianes, Hondon de las La Romana, Novelda, Pedreguer, Playa Flemenca, Relleu, Salinas, Santa Pola, San Vicente

SUNDAYAigües de Busot, Algueña, Alfafara, Benidorm, Busot, Benferri, Elche, Guardamar, La Marina La Murada, Tor-remanzana

APRILLETTERS

LETS HEAR FROM YOUany subject....a confession maybe

something you want to get off your chest

[email protected] or do it the old way and post to

apdo 194 03130 SANTA POLA

Hi Dave! (What’s the difference between Mr. Humphreys and Dave Bull? No difference - they’re both FREE!) I hope you’ll be glad to know that your ambition to get a panto staged in Gran Alacant is a step nearer to reality. Oh yes it is!I recently put out an invitation to anyone interested in forming a drama group based in Gran Alacant to perform plays and pantos, and I’m delighted to say that the response has been very positive. A good number of people have been in touch with me, many of them with considerable experience of amateur theatre from their time in the UK, and almost without exception they have told me one thing - a Gran Alacant Theatre Group is just what they’ve been waiting for. So that’s what I’m in the process of setting up. We’re calling it GASP Theatre (for Gran Alacant Santa Pola, of course.) I’ve already had a meeting with our GA councillor Loreto, and the help and support she has offered on behalf of the Santa Pola Ayuntiamento could not have been more generous. The next plan is to have a meeting for all those interested, and this is scheduled for mid-April in the meeting room at the GA Library, so can any JD readers who would like to join us contact me on 966 695 043 for more details. Looking forward to hearing from all those frustrated actors.Roger Keevil

We’re on our way the Roger, or should that be darling? Anyway tell everyone you can to join in the fun and we’ll have a great time at Christmas! Dave

Your English has become Spanish grammatically, you write similar to how Manwell the waiter in Faulty Towers speaks. It does not help having an East London education, well if there is one! However blame that on the middle classes who cannot cope with any competition, so they make sure the working classes are unable to achieve. I always tell my students that being born into a wealthy nuturing family does not compensate for the fact that intelligience is provided by nature. The less of a pedigree you have decreases the risk of chromosome malformation through incestual breeding. Umm you could argue that one in the case of the Cornish students though? Just joking. Nature has no prejudice with regard to intellect, however nuture is serendipty and only the ideologies of social class brought about by the by the insecure rich have created the inequalites that exist in societies all over the world. Some would argue though that the latter is a biological function that is instigated through the need to survive that is still with us from the paoelithic period. I often wonder how many working class people live off their tacit knowledge. Mine, and I think yours, was definitely not from our academic careers provided by the East London Education Authority. Bought a 2 litre Saab 95 over the Internet a couple of weeks ago, lovely car. Have a few

little jobs to do on it, like topping up the coolant and

windscreen wash. £900.21 it cost, MOT had no voids and it was previously owned by a Saab dealer. It iis all on the papers and genuine. If I have any problems I will just put in back on ebay. Might be worth selling some of your cars in a similar manner, Left hand drive cars are in, I believe, demand here in the UK. Hope all is well at your end. And if anyone can tell us what on earth that is all about…please write in. ED.

A LETTER TO JD WRITER COLIN STICKLAND

Jd editor needs little excuse to slip into something more provocotive

Was Intelligience really provided by nature ?

44

D Joiner

Interior / Exterior DoorsPartitionsKitchensFree Quotes

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FABULOUS INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITYVARADERO APARTMENT. S.P DEL ESTE

Virtually on top of the Mediterranean this1 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment, is situatedin a very well maintained apartment block with

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this property won’t be around for long. Ref K50

LOVELY SPANISH TERRACED HOUSETOTALLY REFORMED “€169.000”

Situated in the highly sort after area of Gran Playa and within walking distance

of all local amenities, this delightful propertyoffers 2 bedrooms both with wardrobes, 2

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parking. Many extras are included with this andit is being sold fully furnished. REF K49

IMMACULATELY MAINTAINED MIDTOWN-HOUSE IN PUERTO MARINO

This south facing property offers quality and taste and is one of only a few with a large front and rear garden. 2

bedrooms,3 bathrooms, light lounge-diner, ind. kitchen,choice of com-

munal pools, private parking,fabulous views and being sold fully furnished including apli-ances. The positioning of thisproperty means the sun can be enjoyed the whole day, giving the house a extremely bright

atmosphere. Viewing essential to appreciate the quality. For more details see REF K10

Our Opinion, extreme value for money €144.000

Since the introduction of our web site, we now have clients waiting for certain properties to become available, either for sale or long term rent. So if you are thinking of selling or renting please, give us a call on 627 711 155 Mobile, 966 699 136 Office or email: [email protected] visit our web site www.granalacantpropertyneeds.com

45

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VINYL DESIGN& SIGNWRITINGDigital PrintingPublicitylogosVehiclesilluminateD signsbannerst-shirts etc

DIGINOVASanta Pola Tel 660 631 380 MAYOGran Alacant Tel 665 063 228REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 96 112 0244 ALBERGUEBacarot Tel 96 596 0224

ASTUR HOUSEGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 9771FRANK’S MUSIC BARGran Alacant Tel. 637 355 570

IMPACT CHARITY SHOPLa Marina Tel 96 679 5593MALVINA BOOKSLa Romana Tel. 96 569 6656

ALTOMARGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 9353CLIVE COOMBERGran Alacant Tel 669 593 212MAYOGran Alacant Tel 665 063 228REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel: 670 260 684

XTRA RENT A CARSanta Pola Tel 607 850 664

D JOINERGran Alacant Tel 609 755 237 MAYOGran Alacant Tel 665 063 228REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

STEWART AIRPORT SERVICEGran Alacant Tel. 636 297 896

RENAULTSanta Pola Tel 96 541 3746PERFORMANCE & DIESELGuardamar Tel. 96 610 7606CONFORT TYRESEl Altet Tel. 96 568 7139

RENAULTSanta Pola Tel 96 541 3746

CAR SERVICE CENTRELa Marina Tel. 650 821 082RE-REGISTRATION SPECIALISTSLa Marina Tel. 650 821 082HEADLAMP EXCHANGELa Marina Tel. 96 610 8938

SANTA POLA RENTALSSanta Pola Tel: 96 541 6171

ORIENTEGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7972

MONTE MAR BOWLS CLUBGran Alacant Tel: 96 669 8676

BLUE MOON SOLUTIONSAll Areas Tel. 655 044 970

ANDREA BURNSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824JLCA LAWYERSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 8796

BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603

CLINICA GRAN ALACANTGran Alacant Tel: 96 669 7411EMERGENCY Tel 608 666 455OLIVER PACKSanta Pola Tel. 96 541 3364

EURONICSGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5365

VALERIE ROBERTSLa Marina Tel 96 679 5503

CCW ELECTRICALGran Alacant Tel 617 872 405 DIGINOVASanta Pola Tel 660 631 380REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel: 670 260 684

FLAMENCO - LOS LUNARESGran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399

TOP ALACANTGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7357

FARMACIA GRAN ALACANTGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7471

ANDREA BURNSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824MICHELLE Gran Alacant Tel 669 791 201

SECOND HAND FURNITURELa Marina Tel. 685 199 925ORIENTEGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7972

FRANCESC AGULLOGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031

BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603FRANCESC AGULLOGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031

LEIGH ADOOFitness Training Tel 606 717 159

CENTRAL OPTICAGran Alacant Tel: 966 698 802

DIGINOVASanta Pola Tel: 660 631 380REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

COMPLETE UPHOLSTERYAlmoradi Tel. 96 570 1844MOZISTOPAll Areas Tel. 659 259 319

ROWLAND INSURANCESanta Pola Tel 96 541 3076 ALMARCHA INSURANCELa Marina Tel. 96 572 9747PERPETUO SOCORROAll Areas Tel. 678 570 432

CGL JEWELLERSSanta Pola Tel 629 383 268

LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 965 475 463


WILCOSanta Pola Tel 96 541 1520

SAFEGUARD LOCKSMITHSAll Areas Covered965888681 or 626891453

SUNSHINE MOBILITYBenejuzar Tel. 96 677 7985

SOLO MOTOSSanta Pola Tel. 96 541 4242

JLCA LAWYERSGran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796

BRIAN CONDUITSanta Pola Tel 96 669 0497

CENTRAL OPTICAGran Alacant Tel 966 698 802SPECSAVERSTorrevieja Tel. 96 692 7249

CLINICA GRAN ALACANTGran Alacant Tel 667 919 277

MAYOGran Alacant Tel 665 063 228REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

CLINICA VETERINARIASanta Pola Tel 96 669 2328LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELSSax Tel 96 547 5463


OFFEXAll Areas Tel. 96 672 0959

REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

SANTA POLA RENTALSSanta Pola Tel 96 541 6171

MISTER VANAll Areas Tel. 697 775 588

COCOA’S Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8509LEMON TREELa Marina Tel. 96 541 9598LOS LUNARESGran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399SAFFRONGran Alcant Tel. 96 669 8098

CORTES SIGNSSanta Pola Tel. 686 464 076


TOLDOS PENALVERSanta Pola Tel. 96 543 2350

GA POOLS Gran Alacant Tel 628 030 184PJ’sGran Alacant Tel 619 501 657


ANDREA BURNSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824JLCA LAWYERSGran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796

ANDREA BURNSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824JOHN TRANSLATORGran Alacant Tel. 677 876 371MICHELLEGran Alacant Tel 669 791 201

ALICANTE AIRPORTEl Altet Tel 96 691 9000TAXISanta Pola Tel 609 959 408

GETAWAY TOURSSanta Pola Tel. 96 669 6269

DIGINOVASanta Pola Tel 660 631 380SIMULSATSanta Pola Tel. 677 878 210

CLINICA VETERINARIASanta Pola Tel 96 669 8463

PUREFLOGran Alacant Tel. 656 649 221

CRYSTAL WINDOW CLEANINGGran Alacant Tel. 680 478 191

46

BARS

BUILDING / MAINTENANCE

FURNITURE

CAR SALES

HAIRDRESSERS

HOUSEHOLD SERVICES

HEALTH & BEAUTY

COMPUTERS

ELECTRICIANS/ELECTRONIC

INSURANCE

CAR TRANSFERS

HEALTH & FITNESS

BOOKS

FISCAL

AIR CONDITIONING

DOCTORS

DENTAL

HEATING

ANIMAL RESCUE

CLUBS / SOCIETIES

CLEANING

HEARING EDUCATION

CARPENTRY

CONVEYANCING

JEWELLERS

B U S I N E S S D I R E C T O R Y

CAR HIRE

OPTICIANS

NATURE

MORTGAGES

KENNELS

LANGUAGE SCHOOLS

KEY HOLDING

OSTEOPATH

FARMACIAS

CAR REPAIRS

CLOTHES

DOMESTIC APPLIANCES

ENTERTAINMENT / KIDS cont...

easy

not so easy

crossword 1

crossword 2

puzzle

solutions

from

page 40-41

How’dyado?

LOCKSMITHS

wordoku

ESTATE AGENTS

MOBILITY

CAR PARKING

MOTORBIKES

DIGINOVASanta Pola Tel 660 631 380 MAYOGran Alacant Tel 665 063 228REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 96 112 0244 ALBERGUEBacarot Tel 96 596 0224

ASTUR HOUSEGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 9771FRANK’S MUSIC BARGran Alacant Tel. 637 355 570

IMPACT CHARITY SHOPLa Marina Tel 96 679 5593MALVINA BOOKSLa Romana Tel. 96 569 6656

ALTOMARGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 9353CLIVE COOMBERGran Alacant Tel 669 593 212MAYOGran Alacant Tel 665 063 228REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel: 670 260 684

XTRA RENT A CARSanta Pola Tel 607 850 664

D JOINERGran Alacant Tel 609 755 237 MAYOGran Alacant Tel 665 063 228REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

STEWART AIRPORT SERVICEGran Alacant Tel. 636 297 896

RENAULTSanta Pola Tel 96 541 3746PERFORMANCE & DIESELGuardamar Tel. 96 610 7606CONFORT TYRESEl Altet Tel. 96 568 7139

RENAULTSanta Pola Tel 96 541 3746

CAR SERVICE CENTRELa Marina Tel. 650 821 082RE-REGISTRATION SPECIALISTSLa Marina Tel. 650 821 082HEADLAMP EXCHANGELa Marina Tel. 96 610 8938


ORIENTEGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7972

MONTE MAR BOWLS CLUBGran Alacant Tel: 96 669 8676

BLUE MOON SOLUTIONSAll Areas Tel. 655 044 970

ANDREA BURNSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824JLCA LAWYERSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 8796

BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603

CLINICA GRAN ALACANTGran Alacant Tel: 96 669 7411EMERGENCY Tel 608 666 455OLIVER PACKSanta Pola Tel. 96 541 3364

EURONICSGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5365

VALERIE ROBERTSLa Marina Tel 96 679 5503

CCW ELECTRICALGran Alacant Tel 617 872 405 DIGINOVASanta Pola Tel 660 631 380REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel: 670 260 684

FLAMENCO - LOS LUNARESGran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399

TOP ALACANTGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7357

FARMACIA GRAN ALACANTGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7471

ANDREA BURNSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824MICHELLE Gran Alacant Tel 669 791 201

SECOND HAND FURNITURELa Marina Tel. 685 199 925ORIENTEGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7972

FRANCESC AGULLOGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031

BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603FRANCESC AGULLOGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031

LEIGH ADOOFitness Training Tel 606 717 159

CENTRAL OPTICAGran Alacant Tel: 966 698 802

DIGINOVASanta Pola Tel: 660 631 380REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

COMPLETE UPHOLSTERYAlmoradi Tel. 96 570 1844MOZISTOPAll Areas Tel. 659 259 319

ROWLAND INSURANCESanta Pola Tel 96 541 3076 ALMARCHA INSURANCELa Marina Tel. 96 572 9747PERPETUO SOCORROAll Areas Tel. 678 570 432

CGL JEWELLERSSanta Pola Tel 629 383 268

LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 965 475 463


WILCOSanta Pola Tel 96 541 1520

SAFEGUARD LOCKSMITHSAll Areas Covered965888681 or 626891453

SUNSHINE MOBILITYBenejuzar Tel. 96 677 7985

SOLO MOTOSSanta Pola Tel. 96 541 4242


BRIAN CONDUITSanta Pola Tel 96 669 0497

CENTRAL OPTICAGran Alacant Tel 966 698 802SPECSAVERSTorrevieja Tel. 96 692 7249


MAYOGran Alacant Tel 665 063 228REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

CLINICA VETERINARIASanta Pola Tel 96 669 2328LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELSSax Tel 96 547 5463


OFFEXAll Areas Tel. 96 672 0959


SANTA POLA RENTALSSanta Pola Tel 96 541 6171

MISTER VANAll Areas Tel. 697 775 588

COCOA’S Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8509LEMON TREELa Marina Tel. 96 541 9598LOS LUNARESGran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399SAFFRONGran Alcant Tel. 96 669 8098

CORTES SIGNSSanta Pola Tel. 686 464 076


TOLDOS PENALVERSanta Pola Tel. 96 543 2350

GA POOLS Gran Alacant Tel 628 030 184PJ’sGran Alacant Tel 619 501 657


ANDREA BURNSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824JLCA LAWYERSGran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796

ANDREA BURNSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824JOHN TRANSLATORGran Alacant Tel. 677 876 371MICHELLEGran Alacant Tel 669 791 201

ALICANTE AIRPORTEl Altet Tel 96 691 9000TAXISanta Pola Tel 609 959 408

GETAWAY TOURSSanta Pola Tel. 96 669 6269

DIGINOVASanta Pola Tel 660 631 380SIMULSATSanta Pola Tel. 677 878 210

CLINICA VETERINARIASanta Pola Tel 96 669 8463

PUREFLOGran Alacant Tel. 656 649 221

CRYSTAL WINDOW CLEANINGGran Alacant Tel. 680 478 191

THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 408

PETS

PAINTERS / DECORATORS

SOLICITORS

PROPERTY MANAGEMENT

TRANSLATORS

PLUMBERS

TV

VETS

TAX ADVICE

SWIMMING POOL (CONSTRUCTION)

PHYSIOTHERAPY

TRANSPORT

B U S I N E S S D I R E C T O R Y

WINDOW CLEANING

SWIMMING POOL (MAINTAINANCE)

TRAVEL AGENTS

REMOVALS

EMERGENCIES

112VISA &

MASTERCARD SPAIN: 915 192 100

HEALTHElche Hospital96 667 9000

Alicante Hospital96 593 830096 524 4200

Hospital Vega Baja96 677 618796 677 618396 677 6166

Torrevieja965721000WELFARE

Gran Alacant office96 669 7749Fire Service

085Local Police

092LEISURE

La Marina Aqua Park96 679 7792

La Marina Library96 679 4201

Guardamar Museum96 572 8610

Rojales Museum96 671 3273SERVICES

British Consulate Alicante96 521 6022Butano gas96 541 3473

Consumer Advice96 373 7109

Electricity company90 120 2020Post Office

90 219 7197Telefonica Information

1004Water Company

96 541 4124TRAVEL

& TRANSPORTAlicante Airport96 691 9000

Alicante Bus Station96 513 0700

RENFE (trains) info90 224 0202

Elche Bus Station96 545 5050

Road Information90 012 3505Radio Taxis90 240 4095

British Airways90 211 1333

Iberia96 691 9188

WATER FILTERS

RESTAURANTS

SUNBLINDS

SIGNS / SIGN WRITING

O s t e o p a t h

Physiotherapistprofessional treatment for low back and leg pain, neck and shoul-der pain, arthritis, arthrosis, sport injuries - overuse and work strain

Rosa Martinez Valdivieso fully licensed Physiotherapist and Osteopath

happy to receive you all year round

English, Spanish and some Scandinavian

find the clinic in the Municipal building next to the library

6 1 6 7 7 9 0 3 4

Check out...

www.complete-upholstery.com

www.thejungledrums.com

www.bluemoonsolutions.es

www.foto23.info

SHOPPING CENTRE- on the hour

AvdA MEdITERRANEO (HIll)- 5 mins past

POST OFFICE- 10 mins past

AlTOMAR II, don Pueblo

- 15 mins past

MARCO POlO JlCA & AS - lawyers

- 25 mins past

HEAlTH CENTRE & lIBRARY

- 30 mins past

PHARMACY & MARKET

- 35 mins past

BEACH(Avda Carabassi)- 40 mins past

PHOENIX RESTAURANT (Costa Hispana complex)

- 45 mins past

SCHOOl- 50 mins past

MASA COMPlEX (roundabout)- 55 mins past

TRAM TIMETABlE

12

6

12

6

12

6

12

6

12

6

12

6

12

6

12

6

12

6

12

6

12

6

WIN

TER

TIM

ETA

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Mon

– F

ri 8.

00 a

m –

2 p

m &

3 p

m –

11

pm

Sat

– S

un 1

0 am

– 2

pm

& 3

pm

- 11

pm

POSTAL

THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 408

Offe

r val

id u

ntil

the

28th

of F

ebru

ary

2009

. sub

ject

to u

nder

writ

ing

regu

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pany

.

The Jungle Drums - April 2009

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Transcript of The Jungle Drums - April 2009