The “Jungle”

A guide to military ranks

Gazelles = Ensigns

• Although easily frightened, they have been known to stupidly lounge in plain sight of the “lions”

• Runs at high speeds, with no purpose or direction

• The slow and weak are frequently slain

Cheetah = LTJG

• Loner, feisty• Makes the occasional kill on a weaker

animal

Lions = Lieutenants

• Hunts in packs• Can bring down a larger animal with

coordination• Easily slays the “cheetah”

Water Buffalo = Lieutenant Commanders

• Aging, slower beast, but-• Cannot be brought down by a single “Lion”

Hippopotamus = Commanders

• Slow and cumbersome on land• Safe in own environment• Lays low to avoid enemies

Elephants = Captains

• Rules the “Jungle”• Impossible to bring down except by his

own vials.

Hyena = Chief Petty Officer

• Laughs continuously at the “Cheetah”• Helps the “Lions” complete the kill on

larger animals

Sloth = Warrant Officer

• Skilled in one area only• Comes around only to feed and take care of

bodily functions

Dung Beetle = Sailor

• Forced to deal with the “crap” created by other animals