The Juggling Show: The Juggling Show: Finding Time for Work, Family and SelfFinding Time for Work, Family and Self

Presented by: Presented by: Kathy RiggsKathy Riggs

USU Extension FCS AgentUSU Extension FCS Agent

Let’s brainstorm!Let’s brainstorm!

What do you do for fun?What do you do for fun? What makes you happy?What makes you happy? What do you do to bond with What do you do to bond with

your family/friends?your family/friends? What do you do do you relax?What do you do do you relax? How do you “make time” for the How do you “make time” for the

important stuff?important stuff? What’s the important stuff?What’s the important stuff?

We have all these great We have all these great answers… but then …answers… but then …

Why are we still stressed?Why are we still stressed? Why does it feel like work is Why does it feel like work is

taking over?taking over? Why are we single handedly Why are we single handedly

supporting the Excedrin and supporting the Excedrin and Tums industry?Tums industry?

Could it be a lack of balance?Could it be a lack of balance?

Some Basic Facts:Some Basic Facts:

Work and family are central to our Work and family are central to our way of lifeway of life

Finding a balance between the two is Finding a balance between the two is an issue of great importancean issue of great importance

Add “self” to the formula and finding Add “self” to the formula and finding balance among the three: balance among the three: Is pretty dang trickyIs pretty dang tricky May result in stressMay result in stress

Sources of StressSources of Stress

Stress comes from two primary Stress comes from two primary sources:sources: Role strainRole strain Spillover Spillover

Role StrainRole Strain

Occurs when the responsibilities Occurs when the responsibilities of one role interfere with of one role interfere with performing other roles performing other roles

SpilloverSpillover

When the conditions and When the conditions and relationships in one area of our relationships in one area of our lives affect us in another arealives affect us in another area

So, how do you balance it all?So, how do you balance it all?

Analogy of glass balls vs. rubber Analogy of glass balls vs. rubber ballsballs

How do you tell a glass ball How do you tell a glass ball from a rubber ball?from a rubber ball? Glass BallsGlass Balls

FamilyFamily WorkWork What else?What else?

Rubber BallsRubber Balls Clean houseClean house Daily exerciseDaily exercise Home cooked Home cooked

mealsmeals What else?What else?

How do you identify and How do you identify and prioritize? prioritize?

Clarify valuesClarify values Values guide our actionsValues guide our actions Create a listCreate a list

Column #1 “Family”Column #1 “Family” What do you value with regards to your What do you value with regards to your

family? family? What do you want your family to be What do you want your family to be

known for? known for?

How do you identify and How do you identify and prioritize?prioritize?

Clarify valuesClarify values Create a listCreate a list

Column #2 “Work”Column #2 “Work” What do you value with regards to your What do you value with regards to your

work? work? What is your work ethic? What is your work ethic? What are your career goals? What are your career goals?

How do you identify and How do you identify and prioritize?prioritize?

Clarify valuesClarify values Create a listCreate a list

Column #3 “Self”Column #3 “Self” What do you what to be known for? What do you what to be known for? What are your personal standards to live What are your personal standards to live

by? by? What relationships are important to you? What relationships are important to you?

Compare listsCompare lists

Ask yourself:Ask yourself: Are any of your values in conflict Are any of your values in conflict

with one another?with one another?

Set Realistic Goals and Set Realistic Goals and ExpectationsExpectations

Goals help us define how we Goals help us define how we use our time.use our time.

Values give direction to the Values give direction to the goals we setgoals we set Main problem: Main problem: Many of us have Many of us have

high expectations about being high expectations about being everything to everybody, everything to everybody, performing all of our roles well or performing all of our roles well or being “perfect.”being “perfect.”

Setting Priorities & Setting Priorities & Managing TimeManaging Time

Even when we are efficient in Even when we are efficient in using our time, we may not be using our time, we may not be effective- we “do things right” effective- we “do things right” but we don’t do the right things.but we don’t do the right things.

Here is one way to manage Here is one way to manage time effectively:time effectively: First, we define our goals, and then First, we define our goals, and then

we ask ourselves these questions:we ask ourselves these questions: How do my expectations either foster or How do my expectations either foster or

interfere with reaching my goals?interfere with reaching my goals? Am I balancing my “material” goals with Am I balancing my “material” goals with

my “people” goals?my “people” goals? How will I know when I have reached How will I know when I have reached

this goal?this goal? What do I need to do today What do I need to do today

to reach this goal?to reach this goal?

Letting Go and Understanding Letting Go and Understanding ControlControl

Stay in control by letting goStay in control by letting go Planning and communication are Planning and communication are

central to all change. Here are central to all change. Here are some other ideas to help balance some other ideas to help balance work:work:

Letting go…Letting go…

Hold family meetingsHold family meetings Keep weekly or monthly schedules Keep weekly or monthly schedules

that schedule time for both concrete that schedule time for both concrete (“material”) and relational (“people”) (“material”) and relational (“people”) goalsgoals

Be willing to revise plans when they Be willing to revise plans when they don’t work or changes need to be don’t work or changes need to be mademade

Understand what we can control and Understand what we can control and what we can’twhat we can’t

Letting go, continued…Letting go, continued…

Keep a sense of Keep a sense of humorhumor

Remember that Remember that effective management effective management is not a single event but is not a single event but a continually a continually evolving process.evolving process.

Calm your StressCalm your Stress

Practicing relaxation techniques can Practicing relaxation techniques can improve how you physically respond improve how you physically respond to stress by: to stress by: Slowing your heart rateSlowing your heart rate Lowering blood pressureLowering blood pressure Slowing your breathing rateSlowing your breathing rate Reducing the need for oxygenReducing the need for oxygen Increasing blood flow to major Increasing blood flow to major

musclesmuscles Reducing muscle tensionReducing muscle tension

Health Benefits to RelaxationHealth Benefits to Relaxation

Fewer physical symptoms, such as Fewer physical symptoms, such as headaches and back painheadaches and back pain

Fewer emotional responses, such as Fewer emotional responses, such as anger and frustrationanger and frustration

More energyMore energy Improved concentrationImproved concentration Greater ability to handle Greater ability to handle

problemsproblems More efficiency in daily activitiesMore efficiency in daily activities

Take a break to meditateTake a break to meditate

http://www.mayoclinic.com/http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/meditation/HQ01070 health/meditation/HQ01070

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/shoulder-stretches/MM00710

SourcesSources

University of Main Extension, Family Issues Facts, Balancing University of Main Extension, Family Issues Facts, Balancing Work Work and Family. and Family. Downloaded 9/17/07 from Downloaded 9/17/07 from

http://www.umext.maine.edu/onlinepubs/htmpubs/4186.htmhttp://www.umext.maine.edu/onlinepubs/htmpubs/4186.htm University of Georgia, University of Georgia, Managing stress: a guide for college students. Managing stress: a guide for college students.

Downloaded 9/17/07 from Downloaded 9/17/07 from http://www.uhs.uga.edu/stress/relax.html http://www.uhs.uga.edu/stress/relax.html George Washington University, University Counseling Center, George Washington University, University Counseling Center,

Improving Time ManagementImproving Time Management. Downloaded 9/17/07 from . Downloaded 9/17/07 from http://gwired.gwu.edu/counsel/index.gw/Site_ID/5176/Page_ID/1409http://gwired.gwu.edu/counsel/index.gw/Site_ID/5176/Page_ID/14098/ 8/

Forever Families, Forever Families, Balancing Family and WorkBalancing Family and Work. Downloaded 9/17/07 . Downloaded 9/17/07 from from http://www.foreverfamilies.net/xm1/articles/work_and_family_balanchttp://www.foreverfamilies.net/xm1/articles/work_and_family_balance.aspx e.aspx

Mayo Clinic.com Mayo Clinic.com Need to relax? Take a break to meditate videoNeed to relax? Take a break to meditate video. . Available 9/17/07 from Available 9/17/07 from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/meditation/MM00623 http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/meditation/MM00623