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MEMORANDUM

FROM: Pat Lewis, HR Director

TO: Everyone

RE:Christmas Party

Date: December1

Im happy to inform you that the CompanyChristmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at Noon in the banquet room at Luigis Open Pit Barbeque.No host bar, but plenty of eggnog!

Well have a band playing traditional carolsfeel free to sing along.And dont be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

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MEMORANDUM

FROM: Pat Lewis, HR Director

TO: Everyone

RE:The Holiday Party

Date: December2

In no way was yesterdays memointended to exclude our Jewish employees.We recognize Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas,

Though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on were calling it our Holiday Party.The same policy applies to employees who are Celebrating Kwanzaa atthis time.

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MEMORANDUM

FROM: Pat Lewis, HR Director

TO: Everyone

RE:Holiday Party

Date: December3

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking tableyou didnt sign your name. I am happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads AA Only you wouldnt be anonymous anymore.

How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

5.

MEMORANDUM

FROM: Pat Lewis, HR Director

TO: Everyone

RE:Holiday Party

Date: December7

What a diverse company we are!I had no idea that December 2 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating, drinking and sex during daylight hours.There goes the party!Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees beliefs.Perhaps Luigis can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party (the days are so short this time of the year) or else package everything for take-home in little foil swans.Will that work?Ive arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Did I miss anything?

6.

MEMORANDUM

FROM: Pat Lewis, HR Director

TO: Everyone

RE:Holiday Party

Date: December8

So December 22 marks the Winter Solsticewhat do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on yourheads?

Fire regulations at Luigis prohibit the burning of sage by our earth-based Goddess-worshipping employees, but well try to accommodate your Shamanic drumming circle during the bands breaks.

Okay???

7.

MEMORANDUM

FROM: Pat Lewis, HR Director

TO: Everyone

RE:Holiday Party

Date: December10

Vegetarians!?!?!?Ive had it with you people!!!Were going to keep this party at Luigis Open Pit Barbeque whether you like it or not.

So you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the grill of death, as you co quaintly put it, and youll get your freaking salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes.

But you know, they have feelings, too.Tomatoes scream when you slice them.Ive heard themscream.Im hearing them scream right now!

8.

MEMORANDUM

FROM:Teri Bishops, Acting HR Director

TO: Everyone

RE:Pat Lewis and Holiday Party

Date: December14

Im sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and Ill continue to forward your cards to her at the sanatorium.In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and giveeveryone the afternoon of the 23 rdoff with full pay.

Closed for theblankety-blank Holidays 9. the moralof this fiasco Inclusive representation during planning and decision-makingcan prevent well-intendedbut chaotic outcomes! Providing strategic consultation in building inclusive relationships & environments to enhance organizational performance. E-mail:[email_address] Website:http://lmsconsulting.weebly.com/ 404.432.4800 lms consulting