The Holiday Party

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A humorous reminder of what can happen when inclusion is NOT part of the holiday planning process...

Transcript of The Holiday Party

  • 1. lms consulting

2.

  • MEMORANDUM
  • FROM: Pat Lewis, HR Director
  • TO: Everyone
  • RE:Christmas Party
  • Date: December1
  • Im happy to inform you that the CompanyChristmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at Noon in the banquet room at Luigis Open Pit Barbeque.No host bar, but plenty of eggnog!
  • Well have a band playing traditional carolsfeel free to sing along.And dont be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

3.

  • MEMORANDUM
  • FROM: Pat Lewis, HR Director
  • TO: Everyone
  • RE:The Holiday Party
  • Date: December2
  • In no way was yesterdays memointended to exclude our Jewish employees.We recognize Chanukah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas,
  • Though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on were calling it our Holiday Party.The same policy applies to employees who are Celebrating Kwanzaa atthis time.

4.

  • MEMORANDUM
  • FROM: Pat Lewis, HR Director
  • TO: Everyone
  • RE:Holiday Party
  • Date: December3
  • Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking tableyou didnt sign your name. I am happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads AA Only you wouldnt be anonymous anymore.
  • How am I supposed to handle this?
  • Somebody?

5.

  • MEMORANDUM
  • FROM: Pat Lewis, HR Director
  • TO: Everyone
  • RE:Holiday Party
  • Date: December7
  • What a diverse company we are!I had no idea that December 2 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating, drinking and sex during daylight hours.There goes the party!Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees beliefs.Perhaps Luigis can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party (the days are so short this time of the year) or else package everything for take-home in little foil swans.Will that work?Ive arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
  • Did I miss anything?

6.

  • MEMORANDUM
  • FROM: Pat Lewis, HR Director
  • TO: Everyone
  • RE:Holiday Party
  • Date: December8
  • So December 22 marks the Winter Solsticewhat do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on yourheads?
  • Fire regulations at Luigis prohibit the burning of sage by our earth-based Goddess-worshipping employees, but well try to accommodate your Shamanic drumming circle during the bands breaks.
  • Okay???

7.

  • MEMORANDUM
  • FROM: Pat Lewis, HR Director
  • TO: Everyone
  • RE:Holiday Party
  • Date: December10
  • Vegetarians!?!?!?Ive had it with you people!!!Were going to keep this party at Luigis Open Pit Barbeque whether you like it or not.
  • So you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the grill of death, as you co quaintly put it, and youll get your freaking salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes.
  • But you know, they have feelings, too.Tomatoes scream when you slice them.Ive heard themscream.Im hearing them scream right now!

8.

  • MEMORANDUM
  • FROM:Teri Bishops, Acting HR Director
  • TO: Everyone
  • RE:Pat Lewis and Holiday Party
  • Date: December14
  • Im sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and Ill continue to forward your cards to her at the sanatorium.In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and giveeveryone the afternoon of the 23 rdoff with full pay.

Closed for theblankety-blank Holidays 9. the moralof this fiasco Inclusive representation during planning and decision-makingcan prevent well-intendedbut chaotic outcomes! Providing strategic consultation in building inclusive relationships & environments to enhance organizational performance. E-mail:[email_address] Website:http://lmsconsulting.weebly.com/ 404.432.4800 lms consulting